Ididthis

Even isn’t telling Isak about Bakka, not because he doesn’t trust him or he doesn’t love him. He’s not lying. He’s not telling Isak about Bakka because it’s something that’s difficult for him to talk about, and he’s probably ashamed.

There are things I have done that I look back on and I cringe. I am disgusted with myself, and the idea of telling anyone makes me sick. I’ve been getting better at telling my mom about my depression, and she’s asked me if there was anything else I wanted to tell her. And as much as that thing has happened, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not ready. That doesn’t mean I don’t love my mom. That doesn’t mean I’m lying. It just means I’m not ready.

Even’s not ready. Respect that.

pippa punch / a mix for taking names, teenage girls and reckless habits {listen}

i. new york - angel haze • ii. old yellow bricks - arctic monkeys • iii.  i'm not gonna teach your boyfriend to dance with you - black kids • iv. wrecking bar (ra ra ra) - the vaccines • v. just deserts - marina and the diamonds & charli xcx • vi. 212 (feat. lazy jay) - azealia banks • vii. comeback kid - sleigh bells • viii. chevy thunder - spector • ix. club foot - kasabian • x. kiss with a fist - florance and the machine • xi. little monster - royal blood • xii. inhaler - foals • xiii. niggas in paris - jay-z & kanye west • xiv. stevie - kasabian • xv. bitch - plasticines • xvi. under the gun - the killers • xvii. woman of intension - deap vally • xviii. rat-a-tat-tat (feat courtney love) - fall out boy
Sunday Morning

Even loves Sunday mornings. It’s the only day that he gets out of bed before Isak wakes up. Every Sunday he sneaks off to the kitchen and starts cooking a large array of breakfast items. Each week he tries to stick to a theme. This week, he’s going all out cooking all kinds of French breakfast treats. Isak was hanging out with the boys last night and got home late, so Even was sure that he’d be out for a while. He made some crepe batter and put it aside to sit as he filled some pastry dough with chocolate chips. He had bowls filled with jams and fresh fruits. He placed the pastries in the oven and he began pouring spoon fulls of batter in a hot pan. After Even had finished a small stack of crepes, pulled a tray of chocolate croissants out of the oven, and made a small bowl of fresh whipped cream, Isak made his way in the kitchen with a shy smile on his face. Even quickly turned on some cheesy French music and turned to Isak. “God morgen!” The small table was filled with bowls of fruit, there was a tray of cheese laying next to a baguette. “What is all of this?” Isak asks. Isak knows that Even likes making breakfast on Sundays, but this is so much more than he normally does. Even picks up a strawberry and walks towards Isak with a goofy smile on his face. “You don’t know?” Even acts slightly offended, but he soon smiles. He stops in front of Isak and holds the strawberry up to his mouth and Isak takes a small bite. Isak can’t help but let out a small chuckle. He looks up at Even with such a look of love in his eyes. “Today,” Even starts, “marks one month in this apartment.” Even has an eye squinting smile and he grabs Isak by the waist and pulls Isak closer. He dips his finger in some whipped cream and bops it on Isaks nose. They both let out big laughs as they hold each other in their arms. Even gives Isak a big kiss on the lips, and Isak can’t help but smile into the kiss. Even then moves his lips to Isaks nose and kisses the whipped cream off. Even moves his head back and says, “You taste good.” Isak’s eyes widen and he can’t help but blush. Even lets out a laugh at Isaks reaction. “I love you.” Isak sighs in content and gives Even another lazy kiss. “I love you too.”

Sleep Routine

Isak and Even moved in together. And Isak got his normal sleep routine back. At night they climb into bed and Isak assumes his position in the nook of Evens neck. Even has his arm around Isaks head and he’s just softly petting Isaks hair. Because Even knows how little sleep Isak got before. Every night Even plays with Isaks hair until he falls asleep, and then he allows himself to drift off. Even cares so much that Isak gets enough sleep that it’s become part of his night time routine. Change out of clothes, brush teeth, play with Isaks hair. And then they wake up in the morning in the exact same position they fell asleep in. They sleep so soundly when they’re with each other that they don’t even move. Even wakes up to see Isak still sleeping. Some days Isak is up first so he just stares at Evens beautiful face for as long as he can. Every morning when they wake up, they stay in bed for just a little while. It’s part of their morning routine. A five minute cuddle time filled with lazy morning kisses and small touches. By the time they decide to get up from the bed their limbs are so tangled together they’re not sure whose legs are whose. Then they both get up from their bed and comfortably walk around the room to get dressed. Even sometimes turns on music so he can serenade his boy. But other times they just get ready in silence, appreciating the others presence. They are just so comfortable around each other that they don’t feel like they need to constantly talk to know that they love each other.