ITS MY LIFE SO I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

anonymous asked:

Is One Direction done? Since Liam's leaving, and Harry wants to act... I never got to see them live.. I never got to tell them I love them.. I never got to tell them how they saved my life... Its not fair.. They can't do this.. I love them.. 😭😭😭

They’re done for now, at least. Or on a break, sabbatical, whatever you wanna call it lol. 

It’s very fair, actually. This isn’t about us in a sense.. It’s about them. They should be allowed to pursue what THEY want, and go after what makes THEM happy. We had a good run with them as a group, it’s their turn now to be free and chase more dreams. So let’s not be selfish.. and wish them all the best :) 

My LGBT friends, we need to talk

I think we all know that being discriminated against for your sexuality and/or gender really fucking sucks. I’m sure a few of you have experienced it at least once in your life and know how much it can hurt. Its definitely not a good feeling, so why do exactly that against straight and cis people? They were born this way just like the rest of us and are human just like the rest of us. What happened to treat others the way you want to be treated?

We may have been badly discriminated against in the past, but two wrongs don’t make a right. No matter what you were born as, we all matter.

Looking for an extra moderator for this blog!

You may have noticed that my posts aren’t coming out as regularly as they use to and that’s because life has been very busy lately. Not only that but this blog has grown so immensely these last few months (which i am so excited for by the way) that between my own writing, working, studying and my social/family life it has become very though to spend the time that i want to on this blog. Don’t get me wrong, i love helping you guys out and plan on doing it for at least the foreseeable future! But i think its time to, in order to keep the quality of this blog as high as it possibly can be and to keep it more consistent, i invite someone in to help me out. And what better way to do it than inviting one, maybe two of you on this blog! After all it is your questions and your requests that make this blog this great.

So if you are interested in interacting with writers from all around the globe and contributing to this blog than contact me via chat and we will talk about maybe taking you on as a moderator!

Some things you can gain by signing up:

  • Having a lot of fun interacting with a ton of writers.
  • An original post for you to do as you like with.
  • A place where you can advertise your future published work.

Hope to hear from some of you soon!

I’m 6 weeks self destructive behavior free, that’s one and a half month. I’m currently very stable, maybe the meds are finally working, I’m really excited for my life when I’m back home and I can’t wait to go to NYC but first I want to get done as much school stuff as I can!
Anorexia wise I’m feeling much better, body image is better and I’m eating all meals + what I want to eat and I was thirsty today and I choose tonic water over normal water like its normal to do so which it is!!! I’m so proud of my progress!!!

Mambo N.666 (Ghost parody of Mambo N. 5)

One, two, three four five, everybody in the bus so c’mon lets ride

To the clergy store around the corner

The boys say they want some sin and juice but i really don’t wanna

Virgin kill like i had last week

I must stay deep cause talk is cheap

I like Alpha, Earth, Omega and Water

And as i continue, y’know they gettin’ hotter

So what can i do? I really beg you, Dark Lord

To me flirtin’ is just like a sport

Anything fly, its all good let me dump it. Please set it in the trumpet

(chorus)

A little bit of Alpha in my life

A little bit of Air thats by my side

A little bit of Omega is what i need

A little bit of Earth is what i see

A little bit of Water in the sun

A little bit of Special all night long

A little bit of Emeritus, here we come

All the fangirls/boys so you better run


(skipping 2nd verse cause its unusable)

(chorus again)


I do all to fall in love with a Ghoul like you

Cause we can fuck and we can kill

You and me gonna go to Hell


(i came up with this in the car. Ghost, if you see this, make this song a reality <3)

Sequel to The Long Dark in the works

So, I’m 10.000 words into a sequel to The Long Dark. I wrote most of these 10.000 words yesterday and today when I should have been working on my PhD thesis. That’s not a good thing.

But I couldn’t help it. The story has grabbed me like an anaconda and won’t let go. I’m writing snippets everywhere, thinking up dialogue in the shower… I can’t sleep at night because I’m being woken by complete sections of prose that demand to be written down. I swear, this fic has a life on its own.

I wanted to do a bit of light comedy, but to my surprise it’s gone pretty dark very soon. I asked myself how I could tear apart Thorin and his lady without resorting to cheap drama, considering they are very much in love at the end of that fic. I wanted to explore what would happen if they had a difference of opinion that went so deep there was no middle ground – how do they work around that to find their way back to each other? Well, I found a way. So they both spend most of those 10.000 words being exceedingly miserable, and I’m trying to marry that with the light comedy I initially wanted.

It’s sort of working so far. I’m such a sucker for hurt/comfort it’s not even funny, and I haven’t written it in this fandom yet. So I’m really, really excited to get to the comforting part. And the make-up sex.

anonymous asked:

Like the bpd anon, I think I have avpd (again all the symptoms) with some possible disorder affecting my mood (could be bpd or schizophrenia) how would I bring it up to a parent (mom probably) that I want to see a professional or how would I tell my doctor about my problems?

Hi friend! 

I suggest you look through the mental illness tag at our blog, as well as read this script I made for you. 

  • “Hey, can we talk? It’s serious, and I’d prefer if you didn’t interupt until the end.. I’ve done some research about some different things I’ve experienced, I think its symptoms of avpd. ‘Explain what it is and your symptoms’ I really think getting a diagnosis or opinion of a doctor could help lessen the symptoms and make my everyday life easier. “

I’ll break this down into important points so that you can personalize it as you want: 

  • “It’s serious, please don’t interupt.” They might do so anyways, but by mentioning this they will at least do so less. 

  • “I’ve done some research because I noticed that my experiences wasn’t normal.” 

  • “I believe its symptoms of avpd”

  • “’Explanation of what it is and why you think you have it.’” 

  • “Getting a diagnosis or opinion of a doctor would help me immensely ‘examples of why’” 

  • “I need help, and getting a official diagnosis would help me.” 

Again, I suggest you look through the mental illness tag as well as reading this script. I hope it goes well, good luck! 



~Jan

anonymous asked:

Can you talk more about your favorite signs?I see why you like scorpio, but why the others? <3

Of course!

I also love Aries, Aries is a big part my tropical (Venus/Mercury), sidereal (Sun) and my draconic chart (Moon).. I just think it’s a great sign I can’t explain it as well as Scorpio. I’m Libra Rising in tropical and last year I made a concerted effort to get into my Aries side and it really changed my life, for so long I hadn’t let myself be ‘selfish’ (I now see that I wasn’t being selfish, I had just been made to think that doing what I want was selfish). Aries is such a confident sign faithful in its own inner power. I love the child-like side and I love the warrior side. I don’t think I would have been able to go through some really hard times in my life without the power of Aries. It’s hard for me to describe what I love about it, I think it’s the sheer masculinity. It’s bloodthirsty lol

And so I was saying Cancer is slowly becoming my third favorite, my favorites change all the time and recently I’ve been getting into the sign of Cancer. It’s my tropical Midheaven, my Moon is in the 4th house in Whole signs and I’m 4th house dominant, in draconic I’m Venus and Mercury in Cancer. I love the 4th house, I’m very connected to my past and my past lives.. in a dream I explained to someone that I can’t read the future but I can read the past and I can psychically pick up on people’s relationship to their families, I had never thought of that before consciously but I do think it’s true, I can usually pick up on people’s relationships to their parents, I just think it’s very fundamental to the personality… I just love the energy of Cancer, it’s home, it’s the soul, the emotions, the crying baby in need of love and the parent nurturing them… it’s a psychic sign, the lunar sign, etc. I’ve always been sensitive and emotional and it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I learned to embrace this and not see it as a negative, it’s truly not, my life is enriched because of it.

FNS YUTOYAMA MOMENT

Like guys do u remember when Yama said that he can’t look at Yuto during concerts and performances because Yuto make him shy all the time? Now that’s what he meant, he was Calm and nervous when he was next to Yuto and when their eyes met together Yuto laughed and Yama went all red and shy, now I understand why they don’t look at each other eyes in performances.

Yutoyama is real.

  • Me:*Waiting for past life memories*
  • Brain:...
  • Me:*Continues waiting*
  • Brain:Oh, did you want something?
  • Me:Yes, I'd like to have memories of my past life now.
  • Brain:Let me see what I can do.
  • Brain:...
  • Brain:Okay, I can't do past life memories right now, but, guess what! Here's some super shitty memories from your childhood that may or may not be beneficial for you at the moment! Haha, aren't I great?
  • Me:This is not what I asked for! You're so unreliable!
  • Brain:Wait, I definitely do have past life memories, though.
  • Me:Really?
  • Brain:Yes.
  • Me:...
  • Me:*Waiting for past life memories (again)*
4

tagged by the beautiful @damnjooon for the selfie w ur bias tag !!

here u can see me, an emo, sporting my mcr shirt in dedication to the resurrection of the emos that occurred yesterday

i’m gonna tag @rapperjimin , @hittthetuan , @7theathens , @butterflyixing , @sh0you , @oh-damn-its-chanbaek , and anyone else who wants to show off how good they look w their faves~ and don’t feel obligated to do it !

anonymous asked:

hello! I'm a junior in HS and I realized that I want to major in art education. how can I convince my family to be okay with this decision? I mentioned it to my parents once, but they don't seem very fond of it. theyre very controlling when it comes to what I want to do in life. I told them I would also major in dental hygiene (which I'm starting the program this year!) just so they won't worry about me possibly living pay check to pay check or not finding a job (I've acknowledge the field cuts)

If your parents don’t respect the teaching profession, there’s probably not a whole lot I could personally do to change their minds. But I will have to respectfully disagree with them…I am VERY fond of it! And while it does have its downsides (yes, the not-so-great pay is one of them, and depending on the area, the struggle of finding a job), it’s rewarding in other ways, and I’m very glad that I am a part of it. I’m sure dental hygiene has its own challenges as well. No job is perfect all the time, so ultimately it comes down to what you will find to be most fulfilling (be it emotionally, time-wise, financially, whatever is the most important to you is what matters). I get the concern, but in the end it should be your choice because it is you who will be the one in the career.

Also, for the record and for any future questioners, I’m REALLY not a good person to ask for advice on how to change someone’s mind about something, because I honestly am very spiteful when it comes to people trying to tell me what to do. (Story time: when my husband and I moved to the area where we live last year, “concerned locals” tried to tell us that we should live in X city instead of Y city, because X city was “dangerous” and “sketchier”…so we’ve decided that we’re going to live in X city even harder now because screw ‘em, that’s why. I actually didn’t care which city we lived in until someone told us we should move and now I’m like the #1 champion for my city out of pure spite.)

I want to ask but i don’t want to know the answer. I want to talk to you. I want to spend time with you. I want to matter. I don’t want to need people. But I’m so fucking alone i don’t know what to do anymore. Everyone leaves and even though its a fact of life I’m sick of having to start from scratch again knowing it could end at any moment. Right now i just want to stop taking the medication and just see what happens. If I don’t make it through then its meant to be. Its so conflicting and every day to keep making the choice to be better but not knowing what “better” is and everything being wrong. Nothing feels right anymore and its all unfamiliar and terrifying. I can’t make sense of my brain and that’s the hardest part, how do you start to work things out when you can’t think. I hate it. Nothing is right.

gosh I hate this. I hate always being unsure if I should be feeling the feelings I have. I hate always thinking “is it irrational to feel this way? am I overreacting? or is this perfectly normal? do I have a right to feel like this?”

anonymous asked:

i accept the fact that they're grown and stuff so don't get me wrong they can do what they want but it also its that kind of love for them that i got that when i hear stuff like this it just makes me wana cry tbh and wish i havent heard it at all

Hey, it’s okay. Like I’m not going to lie; I’m going to feel the slightest pang of pain as a fangirl when one of them dates but it’ll be over in like 0.5 seconds since they’re people too, and I have my own real life to live (aka must find my own romance lol). Also, like I said, I only summarized what I saw on Internet, so we’ll never really know the truth if there is even a truth. 

anonymous asked:

What you'd say to a black queer friend struggling with no self-love or esteem? You have kind eyes. Sure you'd have something to say.

I don’t think I’m qualified to answer this question in its entirety if I’m being honest, but I will say self-esteem is my biggest challenge in life so that part I can speak to…

You have to learn a few ways to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and not abandoning yourself. For me, it’s about keeping the idea of moving forward at the forefront of my brain and constantly asking myself what I can be doing in this present moment to propel myself closer to where I want to be by taking one action… and not get stuck in self-destructive or negative thoughts. That way I can tune out superficial things like how I look or what people think of me and make sure I’m doing the things I need to be doing to keep my life moving toward where I want it to go.

I WAS TAGGED BY @illucesco to do this and i tag no one but you can do it if you want!!

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?: edward and its alright i guess

2. Have you had your first kiss?: mhm

3. What is your life goal?: help as many people as possible before dying

4. What’s your worst fear?: i dont want to talk about this

5. Name a list of shows that have changed your life: honestly watching avatar the last airbender as a kid and whatever anime shows i watched with my sister or best friends in that time period shaped me so much. no wonder im so shitty

6. What would you name your children?: Mashed Potato Johnson

7. What’s your best subject?: English and History

8. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?: oh my god

9. Are your parents together?: yea

10. Favorite singer(s)?: ummm panda bear, chelsea wolfe, daniel tompkins, elizabeth frasier, courtney barnett, kevin shields, jonsi

11. Do you see yourself being famous some day?: maybe

12. Favorite song right now?: cult of Luna/julie christmas - Cygnus

13. List all the tv shows you are watching: umm game of thrones

14. What was the last movie you saw?: DRIVE

15. Which tv character do you relate to most?: oh man idk……..i would tell you but id be really embarrassed

16. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?: the future tbh

17. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?: it depends cause i would love both for different reasons

18. What teacher inspired you the most?:
my middle school spanish teacher. he helped me out so much musically and introduced me to soooo much inspiring music that i still listen to. also he was a god at almost every conventional modern instrument and taught me a lot of what goes into being a professional musician

19. what is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?: idk look for more warning signs in people before you trust them with important things

I am just so exhausted with adulting lately, who the fuck designed the home buying process anyway.

Listen to old lady kira mae, children, let me share my wisdom, DON’T BUY A FUCKING HOUSE. EVER.  People will say, “oh, but when you have your own home you can do whatever you want!” well thats bullshit, I already do whatever I want and I do it stress free while I rent.  And on top of that, good luck finding these fictional houses where you can do whatever you want because in reality, there’s this horrible thing known as a Home Owner’s Association and they actually own your house, apparently, because you get to pay them once a month to tell you that no, you can’t paint your house tangerine orange and you certainly canNOT plant azaleas at this time of year, don’t be absurd.