Blitzen appreciation post

- fashionable


-loves Hearth

-misses his dad

-calls people only 4 years younger than him “kid”

-overuses the word “buddy”

-color coordination

-enchants a very big bag


-really doesn’t enjoy being a demigod

-”born with a target on his back”

-loves ducks

-bad under pressure (”defaults to waterfowl”)

-thinks he’s awful at crafting but managed to build Hearth the sunbed to save his life

-learned a language solely to make friends with Hearthstone

-suggests the runes meant “toolshed” instead of “bloodshed”

-will fucking fight Junior

-is offended magnus thinks taylor swift is a human (definitely likes taylor swift)

-joined the service of an immortal severed head for reasons we still don’t really know

-tall enough to pass as a very, VERY short human & is proud of it

-doesn’t like his overbearing mother


-loves fashion & values being neat but lived on the streets for two years (still for reasons we don’t know enough about)

-runs his own shop

-constantly filled with self-deprecating thoughts

-talks to Hearth even when Hearth can’t see his lips (”move over, you tent hog” “stop stepping on my toes. have you put on weight? no, lead with your left foot, you silly elf. there you go”)

-gives hearth his jacket in the tent

-”my elf”

-tells hearth it’s ok to let him die instead of going back to his abusive family

-once charged into battle wielding a traffic sign that read “make way for ducklings.” expected to die, but tried anyway

-best boy who isn’t appreciated enough

Downton Abbey movie plans “imminent” according to insiders
Signs are that the Crawley clan will be gathering for a big screen outing reuniting Maggie Smith and Hugh Bonneville
Downton Abbey movie plans “imminent” according to insiders

By Ben Dowell
Monday 16 January 2017 at 6:00PM

The Downton Abbey movie plans are moving apace and that the indications are that Crawley clan WILL be getting a big screen outing, understands.

A production source has disclosed that writer Julian Fellowes remains very keen, “the financing ducks are being lined up very nicely" and that an announcement could be “imminent”.

For the rest of the article ….

‪ via @radiotimes‬

Why the Duck Stamp is really so important to me

I was asked today why this is such a big deal to me.
I was a child of the 80s, and growing up in this time I was very sensitive to environmental issues. The “big” environmental issue that I was exposed to was the “save the rainforest” movement of the time. Being a child, I had simplistic views on these things. Why, yes, I surely would like to save the rainforest. “I’ll do that,” I thought. I will tell people to recycle and not cut down trees. Easy. And then I grew up and saw how complex and difficult conservation really was. The situation with the rainforests, and any other parts of our earth that are being consumed at an alarming rate, is extremely complex.

I started to become discouraged and sad. I could do everything I was able: recycle, consume less products, live as sustainably as I could, “vote” with my lack of spending on some products, donate money and time as I was able to, and promote awareness to others; despite this, realistically, my impact was so tiny as to be non-existent. This is something I really warred with (and still do), on a personal level. The more aware and learned I became on these issues, the driving factors, and complexity of “fixing” them, the more helpless I felt.

When I was a child, I wanted to be so many things. An artist, a paleontologist, a biologist, a forest ranger, a veterinarian, an ornithologist, a geologist, a conservationist, etc. In the end, I couldn’t genuinely be all of them of course, and my path took me down the artist route. 

When my art route in life took me to winning the duck stamp, suddenly I was involved with the USFWS. Suddenly I was involved with biologists, and conservationists, rangers, and a mix of everyone I “wanted” to be. Suddenly, something I did was having a genuine impact on conservation; millions of dollars were being generated from a stamp with my painting on it, which preserve national wildlife refuges all over the US. Even though this money would be generated no matter whose art is on the stamp, even just being involved in some small way made me glow inside.

It’s rare for any artist to win this stamp. So, now I am back to struggling with how to make an impact. I will keep trying, though, despite occasionally being mocked, put down, or sneered at. Anyhow, that’s why this duck stamp thing is so important to me. It’s one of the last big funding sources for conservation here in the USA. If you can spare the cost, consider getting a duck stamp. I don’t care whose art is on it; your support has a genuine impact.

This will be the 2017-2018 Federal Duck Stamp by Jim Hautman

How To Be Like Naruto Characters

Naruto: Be very loud and energetic. Wear lots of orange while saying “Dattebayo” after every energetic and motivational sentence. Most importantly, never give up-ttebayo!

Sasuke: Be a really cold and angsty teenager. Almost emo but not quite and answer with grunts with occasional real words. Don’t forget about the duck butt hair.

Sakura: Be strong willed and a hard worker. Don’t be afraid to get feisty and hit things. Know your priorities and have a big heart for anyone in need. Never be afraid to show people who’s boss!

Hinata: Be very shy and timid. But that doesn’t mean that you are always afraid to do what’s right. Follow your heart and remember that love overcomes everything. And Wear sweaters. 

Shikamaru: Be lazy and do as little work as possible. And when you really don’t want to do something but you know you have to, just answer with “How Troublesome.” 

Rock Lee: Be very energetic and passionate. Be respectful towards everyone, even your enemies. Don’t forget to live by the Power of Youth! Also, green jumpsuits will help.

Kakashi: You can’t. It’s just a natural God given talent.

chicken egg:

  • like a small, round stone
  • not very see-through, light can’t really go through it
  • comes in many sizes and colors

duck egg:

  • looks kind of plastic-y, like a ping pong ball
  • light passes through pretty easily
  • sort of a white-ish color, usually pretty big

there wasnt any point to making this post, but i noticed that the candies i was eating reminded me of duck eggs because of the light going through them so i decided to type down the differences ive noticed betweens the bird eggs at school. dont really know what the differences are in taste, however

imagine loading up a square enix game, as you are a very big fan of them, and you open up to see an anime boy sided with goofy and donald duck, sometimes pete the cat and mickey mouse as well

Fruit Basket

Upon seeing the look on his partner’s face, Mycroft rolled his eyes.  “Really, Anthea, this great big palaver over a one-night stand?”

Anthea cast a throwing star at him.  It very closely shaved the left side of his head, just above his ear. Time to go to the barber, then. “Darling?”  He tried once more, only to have to duck six caliber-45 bullets. He started but continued his pursuit.  “Anthea, please!” 

Eight throwing knives now seemed to pin his shadow on the wall behind him.

Out of weapons, his partner was now punishing him in the worst way possible: with tears.  Mycroft never did learn how to deal with tears.  “I’m… sorry,” he ventured when he got to her at last, putting his arms around her.  “I didn’t know how else I could make it up to Lady Smallwood.”

He received a strong punch to the gut for his trouble.  That and a hissed, “Couldn’t you have sent her a fruit basket?!”

If all the home stuck ancestors had really large horns
  • Handmaid: Help my head is very heavy.
  • Summoner: How do I get through doors?
  • Psiioniic: I could stab you and my head is also very heavy.
  • Signless: My horns still suck.
  • Disciple: I can stab you and Psiioniic thinks he has a problem.
  • Dolorosa: One side of my head is more dangerous than the other.
  • Redglare: I would stab you but I'd have to lean my head at a really awkward angle to do it and also my head is heavy.
  • Mindfang: I have a built in cup holder but don't touch it or you'll die.
  • Executor: If I run out of arrows I'll just break off my horns but they won't fly very far and would be hard to break.
  • Grand Highblood: I AM BIG GOAT.
  • Dualscar: If you're behind me and I lean back you die.
  • Condesce: Doors and other places where I have to duck???
Bloodbag (pt2): Bellamy Blake imagine

(part 1)

The ground was your home. You were a grounder, a warrior in blood. Every since you were old enough to walk you were trained for battle. Life was survival for you and your people.

Your body was the definition of being a warrior. You many have not been tall or big compared to everyone but you were very skilled. You had many warrior tattoos inked over your body in fine art.

A sheet of sweat covered your body as you dodged another punch before throwing a swift punch at the warrior. After finally being freed from mount weather you trained as much as you could. You wanted to get your commander position back, you wanted to be back as one of the top warriors. Your healthy was finally getting better such as your strength.

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If you are ever worried about security, get a goose. Just one goose. Two geese and they will not care as much. It must be one. Earn his respect. Teach him you are the Big Goose. Hold out your arms and lean forward when he hisses at you. Do not be loud or angry, just be bigger. He will understand.

You will earn not only his respect, but his love and loyalty. He will learn from you who is allowed in the yard. He will signal when guests are over. He has no fear so he will protect you from anything. Be kind to him.


the ‘loon’ from finding dory irks me a lot

from a design standpoint i dont really like the pinheadedness, if anything loons are well known for their streamlined faces, this looks like a weird pigeon thing but whatever

but the big thing, that also looks like pixar didn’t do their homework, are the legs. loons don’t have gull feet like these still show. loon locomotion is neither like ducks or gulls, they have their own bone structure and unique way of moving.

loons cannot stand or walk, their legs are set too far back so they can only paddle awkwardly on land

theyre also very weird underwater and have strange feet

i just think its weird pixar left this out because irl loons are already living comic relief animals theyre so awkward. it would also be a good opportunity to educate people that no, that loon isnt limping, thats just how they walk

Little domestic old Bosselot things:

Ocelot making coffee for the two of them every morning. Big Boss used to make it sometimes, but Ocelot complained and compared it to motor oil.

Big Boss dozing off while reading a book or a newspaper or just standing around and Ocelot gently waking him up.

Ocelot comforting Big Boss as he sits on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, totally unable to get it up.

Ocelot giving the best massages to a very sore, very tired Big Boss. He’s got a collection of therapeutic oils and lotions. Sometimes Big Boss returns the favor.

The two of them taking trips all over the US and sending postcards. Every Christmas and Thanksgiving, they visit the rest of the family for a big get-together.

Ocelot snuggled up to Big Boss on the couch as he watches game shows and yells at the TV.

Going to the grocery store together and Ocelot ducking his head down shamefully as Big Boss argues with the teenage cashier over the price per pound of vegetables.

Ocelot and Big Boss falling asleep together after dates of dinner and dancing because they’re happy and ALIVE.

Assorted lines from the werreflectionz about section:

  • also: the scorpion king imprinted me on my mommy via car 
  • we sample everything at different times there is no cohesive goal or arrangement.
  • amazon optimus prime
  • the amount of coma is determeined by the amount of friends i have
  • she cannot feed herself… she has sexual anoroxia
  • she absorbes Anything in proximity… and it goes in her thouts and influences
  • the dead will save me….. if u listen and keep reading i will be oka
  • if i use tumblr 30 seconds more then it blocks me out of tumblr…. can u bee it away?
  • a duck must either destroy all the pretty and beawtiful prospects surrounding me. (I am very popular) or sabotage the system to make room
  • if u are asexual or a big hairy dick u are a duck
  • dont come here! its a trap! the in the air is torture!
  • speaking of killing. i died twice.
  • rumour is her body is made entirely of george washington wata
  • i have A galaxy blackface!
  • and gurls…… u could not easily enter the hizzzouze
  • dna of underage white gurl who stole my iphone 4c with hayley and taylor words and everything
  • watch out the hard drive will kill you
  • the iphone death was not taken in account as much as other things 

I feel like I’m reading a bot’s dying dream of Taylor Swift, the Mafia, underage white gurls, and a whole lot of crazy psychic shit going down in New Jersey, and then it occasionally gets hijacked with lists and info dumps. I don’t know what the hell’s going on here, but this is a goddamn EXPERIENCE.

I promised a chicken fic if that KGB chicken post goes over 200 notes. It’s now in 383, so here it is: The Chicken Affair (2K). It’s a story of four mornings during a mission. And a chicken. Beta thanks to @mollokoplus as usual. Other Tumblr fics.

The Chicken Affair

Illya walked down the creaking stairs. He ducked just in time not to hit his head on the very low door frame out of the staircase. He stepped into the kitchen and there was a chicken sleeping in the bread basket in the middle of the big wooden dining table. He frowned, walked to the table and picked the chicken up. It woke, flapped its wings furiously, cackled loudly. Illya kept his hold, tucked it under his arm, opened the door to the yard, and threw the chicken out. He brushed a few feathers off his shirt and started making his coffee.

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Orchestra Instruments according to trumpets

Violins - tune hoggers, they play all the fun stuff you know you’d get to play if it was band, but pretty decent when you get to know them.

Second violins - cute smol violins, shyer and less full of themselves but don’t know how to tune #sorrynotsorry

Violas - are they even instruments? Very cute awkward people who get very defensive over their instrument and abilities.

Cellos - may as well be gods. Backbone of the orchestra. Very sexy. Much love for cellos. Cello = bae.

Double Basses - weird. DBs are some of the weirdest people I’ve ever met but you have to love them they’re jokes.

Oboes - look very awkward when playing a tuning note. Cute lil ducks. They won’t talk to you first.

Cor Anglais (english horn) - what even are they. Never actually met any but I’d imagine they’re like geese.

Bassoons - big daddy ducks. Always talking about reeds. Quirky but cool.

Flutes - either a complete bitch or the loveliest person you’ll ever meet. Very music. Much flutter. Love chromatics.

Clarinets - hella awkward or hella jokes. Much intersectional banter. Play cool twiddly bits or semibreves the whole time.

Saxophones - gtfo. No one invited them into the orchestra. Now fuck off. Go one. Off you fuck. Hipster cool honk machines though.

Trombones - slidey widey fun times. Coolest crew in the orchestra. Most likely instrument to turn up high (except for maybe percussion).

French horns - curly wurly smol tubas. Exceptionally smol mouthpieces. Weird and cool. Good at making trumpets jealous because John Williams exists and gives them all the solos.

Tubas - wolf pack. Huff puff machines. Lungs of steel. Crave solos but complain when they get one.

Trumpets - QUEENS. Too cool for all of you. Like talking all the time. Either have egos the size of a planet of the size of an amoeba but pretend. Think they are the coolest section. Are the coolest section.

Percussion - v attractive people. Always down to chill. Cool kids.


Walt Disney Presents: Education for Death: The Making of a Nazi

Yes, you read every single one of those words right.

Can we talk about Walt’s cojones?

I don’t get to say that sentence very often.

But Walt had some big ones.

Just…the sheer nerve of this video is simply amazing!

Disney actually made several Anti-Nazi propaganda videos during WWII. The timeline is crucial. The company made these during the actual war!

Here’s another one where Donald Duck’s a Nazi: x

Could you just imagine if Disney still did this?

If they made videos about North Korea and Kim Jong-un?

I just…it’s unbelievable!

Things that make noises in the dark

Kittens that have dared each other to run through your house, the West Wind whilst it is falling asleep, your various guardian angels having cups of angelic tea in the kitchen and reminiscing, adorable families of fieldmice taking the little ones out for a field trip, cheeses pogoing to very quiet cheese punk, the dark which is whispering to another bit of the dark that it is in love with the dark and generally being a bit goth which is probably ok as it is the dark after all, clouds of sleepy butterflies looking for somewhere to hibernate, ducks, the ghosts of a prehistoric family who have been making prehistoric afternoon tea on this spot at midnight for about half a million years, warm brown furry spirits with big eyes who will sing in harmony but only when they are sure that everyone in the house is asleep and dreaming, a parliament of owls in night session, the distant farts of sea monsters, books ruffling their pages at other in order to win the most literary mate, the cat.

Please smile guys....

//I’ve noticed that a lot of people seem very sad right now, and I wanted to do something to try and make everyone feel a little better, even if it’s just for a few seconds, so, I’m putting all the funniest gifs and pictures I have (from multiple fandoms) and putting them in one post in the hopes of making you guys smile ^-^.