Bengals and Lox

Bengals and Lox by Tumblrless Anon

(based on this post)


“Yeah? Oh wow, where’d these little guys come from? Hey you, come'ere–yowch!”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ve been declawed, sorry.”

“Emma, it’s not your fault, unless you ordered a box of kittens…Emma. You didn’t. I mean, they’re cute, but do we really need … Emma. Twelve kittens?”


“Emma. You didn’t actually order–”

“No!  I mean, you’re right, they’re cute, I’m sure we can find homes for them–”

“I wouldn’t mind keeping a couple.  You think Mulan and co. would take one?”

“Neal, Philip had a hard enough time with the wisecracking dragon.”

“Yeah, but a cat’s just, you know, normal. Unless Aurora’s allergic or something.  Or the kids. Never even thought about that.”


“When there’s three people doing the true love thing together and they all start having babies, it’s harder to cross check for allergies.  Still, we’ll hit ‘em up.”

“Yeah. Granny might like one, do you think?”

“Emma, where’d they come from?”

“… So remember when Belle had Ellie call and ask what her big brother wanted for his birthday?”

“Aside from your new outfit last night? Which was–”

“Yeah, okay, glad you liked it–”

“Hang on, going for the camera. I didn’t know you could go red like that–”

“Get back here!”

“Okay, okay.  So, Ellie. Isn’t she a little young to be buying birthday presents online?  A candy bar from the corner store, sure, but these guys came with an invoice.”

“Yeah, I, um, maybe told her to order a dozen real New York bagels.”


“Yeah.  Neal, I spent a year in New York, too, you know. People here don’t know what they’re missing.”

“That’s really sweet.  Still doesn’t explain the cats.”

“Did you read the invoice?”

“Yeah.  Purrfect Pet Boutique, New York, New York.”



“It’s a fancy cat breed.  Happy birthday?”

“Sure is.  I have more cute than I know what to do with, *and* a dozen purring fluffballs.”

“I am not cute.”

“Sure you’re not.”


“The hell was that?”


“Your dad’s here? Does he want a kitten?”

“No.  Must be his birthday present.  Why he can’t just use the mail like everyone else, I dunno.  Belle and Ellie do fine.”

“He poofed your birthday present onto the kitchen table?  Around here it might’ve been a rogue magician–Oh my god.”

“What–pfft.  He didn’t.”

“There’s a note. Come on, read it, this’ll be good.”

“Happy birthday, Bae. Belle informs me that we will soon be receiving a new kitten, and that allowing a five year old her own credit card was perhaps not the best idea.  In the meantime, please enjoy the enclosed as an apology;  I ordered extra lox as I am sure your new houseguests will appreciate it. ~R~”

Worth of a Man

Summary: Feeling unworthy, Castiel distances himself from the reader.
Prompt: My biggest fear is that eventually, you’ll see me the way I see myself.
Pairing: Human!Castiel x Reader
Word Count: 1030
Warnings: Brief mentions of a bar fight and resulting injuries. 

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