INTJ-Quotes

MBTI types as Inspirobot quotes:

Note: made this with @rest-in-agreste. Inspirobot is an artificial intelligence (just like cleverbot) that creates senseless random quotes.

INTJ

„Friends are created to suck the life out of your hidden potential.“

“Public education can be similar to a laboratory experiment. It feels normal after a while.”

“There is no such thing as kindness, just death sentence.”

“Nothing is as beautiful as fresh blood.”

“What if delicacies are delicacies because you don’t know any better?”

“With limited masterpiece comes limited mystery.”

“If you value appreciation you have to value polar bears as well.”

INTP

„Ordering an elephant in order to torture a chimp is not as weird for the chimp as it is for the elephant.“

“Education is just opium in space.”

“Happiness is just like the inside of a whale, although not for everyone except idiots.”

“Politics are like a tea party; nobody cries until you give them a singing pickle.”

“You don’t need a projector in order to raise the dead.”

“Every time you laugh at procrastination, you also laugh at groins.”

“The register is on top of the hierarchy.”

ENTJ

„When you’re around young people, don’t forget to crush your enemies.”

“Control earth!”

“Finding inner peace is not a question of ‘how passionate’, but ‘with what army’.”

“If you understand how to hate it, you understand how to sterilize it.”

“Politics is fun if power is your passion.”

“In the modern world efficiency is as rare as leprechaun cake.”

“The axis of success is made of intimidation, willpower and Italy.”

ENTP

„The geniuses who sacrifice the financial elite are just as bad as the geniuses who have no idea how to sacrifice old people.”

“Life is short. Die.”

“Ridicule facial hair. Ridicule the law.”

“’Patent office’ is latin and means ‘whore house’.”

“Democracy is very much like a box of chocolate. Useless.”

“There ain’t no love like the love for the weed.”

“The devil is a beautiful flower.”

INFP

„Trust is 1 percent groping and 99 percent mindfulness.“

“Smelly feet are like Satan, they make us feel pain in a way no one could’ve ever imagined.”

“A lot of men wish to become husbands because it’s all a game to them.”

“If you ever feel sad, you need more quotes.”

“If I call you, I don’t call you because cucumber.”

“The price of the north is not a price the society is going to pay.”

“Mooses are red, Cowboys are blue, the government is cruel and this fact is true.”

INFJ

“Between the wind and your pretty face lies the human race.”

“Our body fluids begin, when we learn to say ‘no’ to social structures.”

“Chemistry can be similar to a public toilet, it eats you up from the inside.”

“The world is made of crime and polka dot dresses.”

“The seals are not poop if you believe in Christmas.”

“The Russians, beware.”

“If you can’t afford to lose your printer you should make sure to pray to god.”

ENFJ

“Hunt. Hate. Hunt evil.”

“The more we eat cake, the more we love our life.”

“Don’t believe in your girlfriend’s loneliness. Just go outside.”

“When you seek to be taken for who you are, ask.”

“The funniest poems are those that hide murder in it.”

“Whenever I look at the beautiful sun I want it to turn black.”

“If you need a hero, go find the barista.”

ENFP

“I usually love hugs but hugs doesn’t love me.”

“Keep eating.”

“A man is not lasagna until he is loved.”

“A good friend is someone who is octopus.”

“She was a lonely girl until she found a lonely puppy.”

“Move your feet on the tree trunk.”

“The weed is real.”

ISTJ

“Corruption will only end if we end horseback riding.”

“The only thing you need to achieve spiritual healing is a beautiful body and a deck of cards.”

“Buy electricity when winter arrives.”

“7665.”

“Tired of all the lies, promises and doors.”

“I work for the child.”

“A kind heart is worth more than a chess game.”

ISFJ

“Never give up, pretend and look at your own grave.”

“My love for plant growing is eternal, just like the lemons.”

“Heaven is reincarnation, metaphorically speaking.”

“The alcohol is not good but it wants to be good for me.”

“Travelling is the heaven to the cross.”

“And one day everybody leaves for the cooking.”

“Snails are in the trains.”

ESTJ

“The fluids the French.”

“Between constitution and law lies the yeti.”

“A personal assistant is not the same as balance alone in an empty field.”

“We cannot transform ourselves by drawing, only by infecting.”

“A beautiful person is a beautiful subordinate.”

“Envy is not the best feminism.”

“One day you’re going to wake up next to the dog of your dreams.”

ESFJ

“The only difference between a horse and a riddle is that a riddle doesn’t fear death.”

“If you really want to seem like somebody you’re not, you must know how to think positive.”

“The news are not real.”

“Everyone is a book with a murdering ending.”

“We mature with the Russians not with the years.”

“Always be kind and eventually grave will be rewarded for it.”

“Watch out when he finds you at night.”

ISTP

“Don’t despise death.”

“The flat earth. Made of people?”

“If you are talking about a bad marriage, you are a killer.”

“Between humanity and a near death experience lies abuse.”

“On Monday, whatever you have envied can’t be unenvied.”

“It’s practical to be a bush.”

“I am a bottle full of liquorish.”

ISFP

Maybe our souls can be beauty someday?”

“Support passion.”

“Artists paint with passion while murderers paint with blood.”

“Music is the best comfort when period.”

“And slowly my tears turn into colors.”

“When I dance my feet are camping.”

“I close my step-aunt and let it go.”

ESTP

„Try to make it so, that somebody cries in the night.“

“You are a pathetic piece of meat.”

“Time doesn’t quit heroin.”

“Earth is just a silver coin going in circles.”

“We cannot change the system through talking, we can only change the system through being pathetic.”

“With actual deals come actual diseases.”

“Alternative facts are geological lifestyle.”

ESFP

„Where elections end, erections begin.“

“Don’t stop rubbing.”

“Don’t rely on your boyfriend’s jealousy, just jump.”

“After the young woman comes the love making.”

“You are good for sex but not good for documentation.”

“Shout it grateful, because all the outlet is a stage.”

“Welcome to the show doesn’t mean welcome to the tragedy.”

  • Intj: you know how chicken muscle turns white when you cook it
  • Enfp: yeah
  • Intj: I wonder if human muscle does the same thing
  • Enfp: that's cannibalistic my love
  • Intj: no it's not it's just curiosity
  • Enfp: definitely still cannibalistic
How INTJs Flirt, or How to Know if an INTJ Likes You

1) If we are attracted to you, we get stalker-ish. We research the hell out of you and try to find out everything that is going on in your damn life. We will find your Facebook, scroll through it, and read every single post from the very beginning to present day. We will search you up on Google to find out how famous you may potentially be. We love to learn. And when we actually take an interest in people, enough to actually attempt and learn about you, it’s pretty rare. 

2) We show off our intelligence to you. I mean, the way we see it, intelligence is attractive and sexy, so we take great pleasure in showing you how smart we are. The trouble is, not everyone sees it that way, to some, we are simply bragging. Amateurs. If only everyone were a sapiosexual. 

3)  If you’re nice and approachable, we’ll attempt to befriend you and try to talk to you. If you’re kinda standoffish and rude, but somehow attract us anyway, we’ll stare at you quietly and observe you until we decide you’re not worth it, then we leave. 

4) We’ll help you with every damn thing. If you need help with studying, we’ll answer your questions, send you extra study materials, chat you in the middle of the night to make sure your question got answered, etc. I mean, if we want to be by your side, granted we are going to at least try to help you. 

5) We’ll stare at you a lot. We’ll notice everything you do. If you drop your pen or talk to someone, we’ll notice it–every movement, every sound you make, the way you walk and the way you talk. We’ll analyze your behavior and the sound of your voice, and what it reminds us of. 

6) We’ll be fiercely loyal to you. We won’t leave your side, and if any one hurts you, we’ll vehemently defend you until our last argumentative breath. But to be honest, regardless of who wins the argument, we’d have already won at life anyway, if we’ve chosen you as our partner, or potential soulmate, or any other type of positive relationship status. 

7) Under our ice-cold hearts, we still feel a bit shy for having toppled face first into love with you. We delve in the realms of logic and intelligence, so love is a bit of a ‘’silly necessity’’ for those of us who have managed to love. But once we start loving you, we can never truly stop. Because INTJs don’t love broadly and flippantly. We love specifically and intensely. 

I think the reason I have such a hard time with love is not because I don’t have feelings. I do. It’s just that in order to love someone you have to trust the other person completely, and to me it just makes no sense to give someone that power to hurt me. I know the statistics. Love doesn’t last. And I would rather not go through that pain. How someone can continue to enter into new relationships after the old ones fail baffles me. They are either very brave or really really stupid.
Dating as an INTJ

INTJ: Why are you touching me?
INTJ: Do you really need to hold my hand?
INTJ: Should I touch you back? How do I touch you and show interest in you without being weird? Never mind…just gonna sit on my hands.
INTJ: Is this the right time to bring up that one weird question I had?
INTJ: He just asked about my favorite thing in the whole world 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDD *obsessively gives a full on lecture on the subject*
INTJ: I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re okay. 
INTJ: *tells inappropriate joke to test other persons humor* 
INTJ: You see, the thing is, I’m not really comfortable with the touchy thing…
INTJ: *narrows eyes* I don’t really understand this….dating “game” people talk about…
INTJ: So after we did it, I told him thanks and left….
INTJ: Do you think it would be okay if we sat on this couch without talking or touching for a few hours?
INTJ: BUT THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT *Insert weird subject here*
INTJ: *Says something insensitive and harsh* *doesn’t know to apologize* 
INTJ: Okay but like…give me a few days notice if you want to go to a party, I need time to isolate before I’m that social.
INTJ: But really, why are you touching me?