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Hey hey! I had a SUPER fun time recording this and almost a better time editing it. Let me know what you think! :) HOPE YOU LIKE IT  <3

Devil Side-Chapter 23

Summary: Bucky wakes up in his hospital bed and Steve breaks the news. Bucky POV

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Violence, reference to a kidnapping. mortal wounds. Super Angst. 

Word Count: 1143

Bucky Pov.

He woke slowly to the sound of monitors beeping. The stiffness in his muscles was intensely painful. A dull ache burned beneath his clavicle and lower ribs. His head was foggy with the number of painkillers the nursing staff had pumped into him. The serum burned through the medication in record time, forcing the nurses to up the doses they gave him.

It didn’t stop him from remembering.

Tears prick the corners of his eyes and roll silently down his cheeks. His baby. His sweet little girl. He failed to protect her.

It was his one task as a father. Protect your child.

He turns on his side, ignoring the painful pull of his stitches. He brings his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs. He shakes violently with the force of his sobs. Every tear a jarring memory.

Flashback:

He knew instantly something was wrong. The park was too quiet. There were no families. No playing children. He curled his metal arm around Reyna protectively, trying to discern figures in the tree line. He could see nothing. All he could here was the crackling of twigs underfoot as whoever was watching him shifted position.

He chose not to fight. He chose to run. A firefight or knife fight could easily get Reyna killed.

He turned his back on the tree line and held Reyna close to his chest. He walked slowly to the entrance of the park, his senses on high alert. He kept his cool, noticing how even Reyna stayed uncharacteristically quiet as they moved. He counted fifteen pairs of boots behind him. His adrenaline spikes. He shifts Reyna from his metal arm to his flesh arm, and rolls his shoulder, working out the kinks in the metal. He stops and readies himself.

His attackers stop behind him.

Bucky grimaces and gives his daughter a kiss on her forehead, brushing a thumb over her cheek. “It’s gonna be okay,” he says gently.

Her big blue eyes look sadly up at him, and not for the first time Bucky wonders whether children understand more than they let on. She always seems to understand exactly what he’s saying.

“Hand over the lass if you please, Sergeant Barnes.” The thickly accented voice is vaguely familiar.

Bucky tries to place it but draws a blank. Turning slowly to face the nameless man, he sneers, “I suggest you and your lackeys take a long walk over a short cliff, pal. You ain’t laying a filthy finger on my girl.”

The man in front of him smiles. The sharp sting of a taser whites out his vision. When the pain stops Bucky roars in anger, but he’s remained on his feet. When Reyna whimpers and pats his cheek as if to ask if he’s okay, he clicks his next from side to side and kisses her hair.

A deadly smile painted on his lips when he turns his gaze back to the group. “Alright you, bastards. Come and get me!”

***********************

“We’re gonna get them back, pal,” Steve says softly from behind him.

Bucky frowns. He hadn’t known Steve was back. Bruce must have recalled them from the mission they were on. His mind goes blank for a second before he dares ask the question, “Them?”

“Reyna and (Y/N),” Steve says slowly.

Bucky’s heart turns to ice. He sits bolt upright in his bed, his eyes wild with horror. “Whaddya mean?”

Steve’s face pales, his eyes widening as he realizes his error. He swallowed once, twice, before he sighs in defeat. “(Y/N) was taken last night. She emailed me the list the of demands the kidnappers sent. They wanted her, and only her. If she handed herself over to them without a fight they would return Reyna within five hours.”

“No,” Bucky states, ripping his IV line from his arm. He throws the covers off his body and gets shakily to his feet. He falters briefly before stalking out of his hospital room, nearly ripping the door off its hinges in his haste.

His mind repeats no over and over as he stalks the halls of the tower. He screams your name. His heartbreaking further with every passing second.

No one stops him. They let him pass, their heads bowed in silent mourning. They understood. They had all lost someone in the line of duty. It came with the territory, unfortunately. Still, it didn’t make it any easier to watch a fellow agent break as they realized someone close to them had been taken from them.

Tony steps in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. Natasha is standing beside him, her eyes dull and red-rimmed. Steve is behind Bucky with Bruce, having followed him through the tower. They all approach him without saying a word, laying hands on his shoulders, lending support, and comfort. They were all broken.

All except Tony, who seemed more hopeful than grief-stricken.

A few moments pass before Tony speaks, giving his friends time to process the events before he told them what he had found. For once the sass is missing. “She swallowed a tracker before she left the tower,” he says quietly.

Four heads snap to stare at him in disbelief.

“We can track her?” Steve asks, his words almost running together in his excitement.

Tony nods, a wide smile on his face. “F.R.I.D.A.Y calibrated her exact position five minutes ago. I was on my way to tell you when I ran into Nat and Barnes.”

“We need a plan,” Nat interjects.

“If there ever was a time for a code green this is it,” Bruce supplies.

“We need back up. I’m not risking anyone. We go with a full guard.” Steve agrees.

“I’ll fire up the Iron Legion.” Tony adds.

“Boss, you have a call from a downtown fire chief. A child matching Reyna’s description was left at their door thirty minutes ago with a note pinned to her chest. They want identification,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs Tony.

“Is she alive?” Tony asks sharply.

“Not a scratch on her,” she replies.

“Send me the exact location.” Tony turns his attention to Bucky, who had gone a sickly grey color. “Barnes,” he says while snapping his fingers in front of Bucky’s face. “Barnes!” he yells.

Bucky startles and focuses on Tony.

“You gotta keep it together, tin can. Your kid and your girl need you. You can’t afford to freak out. Bury it and sack up!”

Bucky inhales shakily. He pushes down the fear and horror, squares his shoulders, and sets his jaw in a hard line. “I need guns,” he says slowly.

A stray agent pipes up beside him. “How many, sir? I’ll prepare your tactical gear.”

Bucky stares at the woman contemplatively, then nods to himself.

“All of them.”

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I’m sorry to be that person but harry is so happy away from 1d and that makes me so happy. he got to make this record on his own time, not on a tour bus. he got to write and speak from the heart and not have to listen to input from 4 other people. that part in BTA where he’s like “first we’re going to do Harry’s idea, and then we’re going to do another one of Harry’s ideas” is so endearing bc obviously he didn’t have full creative control before and now he’s THRIVING bc he does. yeah idk this is a little fake deep but it’s beautiful to watch him grow as an artist

“Do you understand now” prompt

Kat has had boyfriends before.  She has had sex with men before.  She had experienced every single heterosexual experience she could and was totally fine with all of that.  Were they the greatest moments in her life? No.  Did she enjoy herself? Sure. Most of the time.  In fact the brief relationships she had with men were nothing short of pleasant.  Were they the things that movies and epic romance novels were made out of? No.  But maybe that wasn’t for her. Maybe those moments and experiences were for other people.

Kat was totally fine with that.

She would just have her flings, and go from dude to dude and that would be enough for her.  

Love and commitment was terrifying to her, so it really didn’t matter if she would never experience that.

Really, it was all good.

But when a mysterious, confident, beautiful, and female artist walked into her life one day…suddenly she was not fine, and nothing was “all good”.  

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anonymous asked:

how long can someone reasonably be dissociated if they don't have did? so there's not an alter or anything, they're just kind of tuned out. is a few weeks or a month too long? how about a day or two?

Generally speaking, someone without DID who is dissociating for a long time is going to have moments of…. lucidity? Non-dissociation? But the answer to ‘how long can a person dissociate most of the time?’ is a pretty long time.

My record was pretty much… a semester? A couple of months?

I had moments of lucidity though. I once wrote a poem, and I won’t share the whole thing- but it included this little snippet:

(warning, I did spoken word/performance, and tbh the first part loses some effect because I can’t write… how I speak.)

‘Hh- Hh- Hh-

Hot.

Hot?

Hot.

I am staring at a ruby H,

icy water beating through my clothes when I come to.

I do not know what time it is.

I do not know where I am.

I do not know how I got here.

I am a ghost of myself,

and for one horrifying moment,

I am lucid enough to know this.’

And basically the whole piece was about time traveling, about these moments in my life where I went back (flashbacks) and the moments in my life where I suddenly realized I didn’t know.. when I was. About the days where someone would ask when was the last time I ate and I would be genuinely confused because ? we just ate lunch together? only to find out that was yesterday.

Just remember when you’re writing your piece that there are consequences to being that dissociated. Things that aren’t automated or prompted… might not happen. (Like eating. Though the prompt might simply be ‘walking in the house oh there’s a microwave I guess I’m supposed to do something with that aren’t I?) Some people are able to make sense when speaking while heavily dissociated (the more often someone dissociates the … more likely that is in my experience)  others are going to come off scrambled. Even someone who is pretty good at conversing while dissociated might come off odd at points because of… a lack of awareness of something that went down in the media/or something they would usually take note of but were too dissociated to notice. Or taking too long to respond because that info is just…. beyond that haze.

Hopefully that helps a bit,

TS

50,000 words!!

Won NaNoWriMo in record time, Day 16.

I could keep writing on the next book, but I’m going to focus on editing and revising this book for the rest of the month.

(With the exception of our annual Drunken NaNo party this Saturday, where I will be writing instead of revising).

10

Tianjin Binhai Library by MVRDV + Tianjin Urban Planning and Design Institute

MVRDV in collaboration with local architects TUPDI has completed the Tianjin Binhai Library, a 33,700m2 cultural centre featuring a luminous spherical auditorium around which floor-to-ceiling bookcases cascade. The undulating bookshelf is the building’s main spatial device, and is used both to frame the space and to create stairs, seating, the layered ceiling and even louvres on the façade. Tianjin Binhai Library was designed and built in a record-breaking time of only three years due to a tight schedule imposed by the local municipality. Next to many media rooms it offers space for 1,2 million books.

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It’s time to wake up the dead and dance. Watch the new video for HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’TStream/download the song everywhere - if you’re not seeing the song up on Apple Music yet, it will be available internationally soon!

UK & Europe the next wave is here. The M A  N    I     A Tour will be crashing your cities next year. Asia, your wave is coming soon (get a sneak peek below) 

UK, pre-order M A  N   I    A for first shot at tickets during the pre-sale starting on Wednesday, Nov 22 at 9am GMT (if you already pre-ordered the album from the UK store, or our webstore, you’ll receive a code to the email you purchased the album with). Unique codes will be sent out on Tuesday, Nov 21st. 

If you’re unable to pre-order + everyone in Europe, sign up to the mailing list by Tuesday, Nov 21st to get a code sent to you on Wednesday. Mailing list pre-sale starts Thursday Nov 23rd at 9am GMT. 

General on sale for the UK/EU shows begins Friday, Nov. 24th at 9am GMT. 

UK/EUROPE

27th March - Birmingham, UK @ Birmingham Arena
28th March - Cardiff, Wales @ Motorpoint Arena
29th March - Manchester, UK @ Manchester Arena
31st March - London, UK @ The O2
3rd April - Paris, FR @ Zénith
4th April - Amsterdam, NL @ AFAS Live
6th April - Berlin, DE @ Max-Schmelling-Halle
7th April - Hamburg, DE @ Mehr! Theater
8th April - Munich, DE @ Zenith
10th April - Düsseldorf, DE @ Mitsubishi Electric Halle
12th April - Brussels, BE @ Forest National

ASIA

xx/xx/xx - Tokyo, Japan
xx/xx/xx - Osaka, Japan
xx/xx/xx - Osaka, Japan
xx/xx/xx - Nagoya, Japan
xx/xx/xx - Singapore

Bruises On Another (part three)

Originally posted by nwetss

Prompt: Steve doesn’t know where they come from, and he isn’t exactly sure why they’re there. All he knows is that his body is littered in bruises, and there’s something different about them. They aren’t just bruises, and they certainly didn’t come from a trip in a step or clumsiness. No, Steve knows there’s more behind the marks that litter his body.

THIS IS A SERIES: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight

Pairing: Slow!Burn Steve x Reader, Billy x Reader (it’ll make sense)

Warnings: marks, bruises, pain, physical abuse, etc. I mean no disrespect to anyone or to upset anyone, this story starts off rough but I can say that things will get better.

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

OH! And just to be clear about a few things, as i’ve mentioned (literally right below this) this is a soulmate AU. I don’t write these often so i’m not sure how they exactly work, but the way i’ve written mine is Steve and the reader aren’t just connected through the marks and bruises but almost like spiritually i guess? When they first meet, something like wells within them. And when Steve sees her with Billy, he doesn’t know why, but he almost feels a sort of jealousy and almost wanting to protect the reader. And later on in the story, you’ll see the reader a bit jealous of Steve as well. That’s because they have a connection, they just don’t know it yet.

P.S. This a soulmate AU.

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bolded is who I couldn’t tag!


“Y/N! Just the girl I wanted to see!”

You turned around at the sound of a voice, find none other than; “Billy.” You’d met him yesterday in your social class and because you were the new students, your teacher had paired you together. The boy had seemed nice enough when first speaking to him and he definitely didn’t know how to quit, so you weren’t all that surprised to find him by your side right before lunch.

The mullet haired boy reached your side in record time, squeezing past other students in the hallway. You felt yourself flinch from contact as Billy wound his arm around your waist and pressed you against his side. You tried to ignore the pain that grew as he hit a fresh bruise from the night before and when you glanced at him, you hoped he hadn’t noticed your flinch but you could tell by look on his face he had. “I didn’t mean to upset ya’, darlin’.” He said, staring at you with feigned worry; you just didn’t know it at the time.

“No,” you responded softly, shaking your head. “No it’s fine. I’m just… just a little bit jumpy.”

Billy nodded, as if he understood and leaned back as you both made your way through the halls. You tried to ignore the dark looks you received from other girls as you made your way to your locker. From what you’d heard at your two days in Hawkin’s High School, Billy was the new it guy, everybody wanted to be with him or be him. So the looks made sense, you just didn’t understand why Billy was so fascinated with you. 

“Ignore them darlin’, they’ve got nothing on you.” You glanced over at Billy surprised, feeling your cheeks burn red in shock at his comment. As you glanced at the many girls, you didn’t completely agree with his statement. “Don’t look so shocked.”

“No, it’s just-” you said again, shaking your head. You went to say more but found yourself lost in your thoughts and instead glanced back down at the floor. “Okay.” You submitted. You sighed in relief when you reached your locker and Billy stepped away from your side to instead lean against the locker next to yours. You couldn’t help, though, feel his gaze grazing your body the entire time like a predator would look at it’s pray.

You pulled down the sleeves of your sweater, and focused your entire attention on slipping your textbooks into your locker.

“So, you hear about Tina’s party this Friday?”

How could you not? You might not be very social but that’s all you ever heard when walking in the halls. Of course, even though you’d been given a slip, you made no plan of going considering you knew your father would never allow you. Hell, if your father knew that you were speaking to a boy like Billy now… there’d be a huge price to pay. Still you nodded in response to his question, sensing where it’d lead.

“Wanna go?” It seemed Billy didn’t like to wait long when pursuing the girls he showed interest in. 

You paused after that, knowing that your father would say no, you just didn’t know how to tell Billy that. “I-I’m not too sure… My father-” You were cut off by Billy’s hand reaching out and practically petting your cheek; you froze in surprise from the movement, unsure of how to react to the bold move. 

You met Billy’s eyes and found yourself stuck as he smile sultry at you and leaned in closer. With his hand still on your cheek, you found yourself frozen as you found your father’s eyes in Billy’s. You felt yourself grow petrified and hating the way any man or even woman who threatened even the tiniest bit could grow control over you. It made you feel weak and pathetic, but yet you only continued to stare at Billy. “Come on, Y/N.” Billy mumbled, and you found yourself no longer able to hear the loud crowd of kids around you. “I think you’d look cute in a costume, so what do you say?”

You opened your mouth to say something but another’s cut you off; “is there a problem?”

You moved your gaze over to the newcomer and found none of than the familiar pair of brown eyes you’ve been trying to avoid. It seemed that Steve’s presence was enough to get Billy to step away from you, and soon you found the mullet-haired boy standing in front of you, blocking you slightly from Steve’s eyesight. It was then that you noticed the two girls behind Steve, one you recognized as the girl who’d helped you the day before; Nancy.

“Harrington.” Billy greeted and you could just practically hear the smirk forming on his lips. “Nope, no problem here.”

Steve glared at Billy before you found his eyes on you; “Y/N?”

You paused, shocked that he’d even considered an answer from you. Normally everyone did the talking for you, and you weren’t really allowed to speak for yourself. But before you could respond, Billy spoke up; “I said there’s no problem, Harrington. Why don’t you stay out of other people’s businesses.” 

“I’m sure Y/N can answer for herself.”

Suddenly all eyes were on you, including Billy’s and you swallowed the lump in your throat. You met Billy’s gaze and saw your father, so instead of saying what you should’ve of, you mumbled; “i’m fine.”

You missed the way Steve’s gaze fell and his tense shoulder’s slumped. Pressing a hand against his chest, Billy took a step forward; “see? Everything’s fine.” Steve glanced at you one final time, and it seemed like he was going to say more before Nancy stepped up and grabbed his arm. “Steve, let’s just go.” She whispered to him and you found your eyes stuck on her hand on his arm, your brows furrowing. 

Eventually Steve relented and you watched him step away from both you and Billy, now gripping Nancy’s hand. You barely noticed Billy turn back to you, until his hand softly grasped your chin, and brought your attention towards him. “So? What do you say?”

In your mind, you couldn’t help and think about the way Steve had grasped Nancy’s hand and the feeling that burned within you. Without thinking, you nodded; “sounds great.”


Friday reached sooner than you thought it would and before you knew it, it was the night of the party and you hadn’t even mentioned the idea to your father yet. You were sat in your room, and you’d just made dinner for your father. You knew he’d be in his room for the rest of the night and hopefully wouldn’t come and see you at any point, but knowing him he usually didn’t.

You stared down at your attire, the same thing you always wore and wondered why you hadn’t thought this through further. Not only now did you have to sneak out for the night, through your window, you didn’t have a costume either and you knew Billy would question it when he arrived. You’d even told him that day a different address then your actual house so your father wouldn’t see his headlights.

You’d never snuck out before and honestly you were greatly questioning your decision to say yes. You didn’t really have a decision, thinking about it now,but the thought of sneaking out, and not being there if your father was to come into your room greatly scared you. You’d never hear the end of it or never feel the end of it if he were to catch you, especially if he found out a boy came to pick you up.

You bounced your knee in spot from your position on your bed, glancing at the time every few minutes. You were suppose to meet Billy outside your neighbours house at six thirty and it was now six twenty-five, meaning you should probably start heading out. Ignoring the feeling that welled within your stomach, you slowly and quietly opened your bedroom door and glanced out into the hallway. Where, thankfully, you could see the lights from the tv in your father’s bedroom flashing, meaning he was distracted.

You took one final deep breath, closing the door quietly behind you and heading to the window. You slid open your window, ignoring the fear that welled within you and stepped out onto the the roof. You crawled on top, closing the window just before it fully shut and begun crawling out to the edge of the roof. Carefully you swung your body out so you hung by the roof and dropped onto the grass in front of your house. Once you were safe on solid ground, you gazed up into your bedroom to see if the light had turned on or any indication that your father had noticed you leaving, and sighed out in relief when you saw nothing.

Nodding to yourself, you faintly let a smile slip over your lips at the fact that you’d managed to sneak out and not get caught; yet. Making your way through your tiny front yard, you stopped in front of your neighbours just as Billy’s car appeared. You swallowed the lump in your throat, ignoring the voice in the back of your head that told you this was mistake and made your way to his car.

You slipped into the passengers seat and almost immediately noticed the frown on Billy’s lips when he saw your attire. Pulling at your oversized sweater you frowned; “I don’t have a costume.”

You met Billy’s eye and watched him pause in thought for a moment, and thats when you noticed his costume. Billy wore a leather jacket with no shirt underneath the jacket, paired with black jeans. You hated to admit it and even felt ashamed, but he looked good.

“You got a shirt underneath that sweater?” Bill asked, stunning you for moment. Though, eventually you nodded. “Great. Take the sweater off.”

“W-What?”

“The sweater.” He grinned at you, a hint of lust behind his eyes. “Take it off. I’ve got a plan.” You paused once again, unsure of what you should do. If you took off your sweater, Billy was bound to see the marks on your arms but from the look in his eyes, it seemed he was determined and wasn’t going to let you go in the clothes you wore. Sighing, you slowly pulled off your sweater, handing it to Billy as he threw it in the back and reached for something else.

All you wore underneath was white t-shirt and on your legs, you wore black jeans. Crossing your arms across your chest, you tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that welled within you, and waited for Billy to get whatever he was searching for. Just then he threw a dark coloured jean jacket a top of your lap and smirked your way.

You slipped the jacket over top of yourself, it was much too big but it covered your arms and Billy never managed to see the bruises which was plus. Turning to Billy, you felt yourself smile a little as you saw his gaze.

“There. Now we’re matching.”


Part 4?

Let me know below!