This is my first post as the business I am scantily throwing together in the in a flurry of low expectations and even lower standards, and as a sentimental man I feel like the first post should be super-duper important.
But all I can say is, what the fuck is with guys claiming to have abnormally huge dicks? It wouldn’t even remotely change the fact that you’re a rampant dickhole of a person, and having a fifth limb as a penis would be a logistic nightmare. Every time you got an erection with someone in the bed, you’d lose blood from all your major organs. You’d be half fainting around the room as a looming dune-worm would be flailing madly, smashing up the furniture and terrifying absolutely everyone.
You know what’s better than claiming you have some deathworm from fucking Dimension X lurking between your legs? Anything. Anything at all. Mostly, just not being a complete hooting Fuckhole Fergus of a person. Stop that. Just get people flowers. That’s nicer. So much fucking nicer.