IF MY SISTER HAD LIVED

@ailuridude21 don’t usually do on the spot requests, but I will draw blazamy any time, any place, for any reason

anonymous asked:

So, I have PTSD, basically. My therapist and doctors agree it's valid and like. I found my older sister. Lying dead. In my living room floor. I had to call police and paramedics and I was by myself for hours dealing with these things until other people got there. All these fucking kids acting like they have PTSD piss me off so bad because PTSD isn't fucking easy and it's been a year (Friday was the anniversary) and just seeing blueish skin sends me into panic attacks I'm still recovering lmao

I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I really hope that you’re able to heal from something like this happening in your life.

PTSD isn’t something that people should just claim to have, it honestly makes you a pretty big asshole if you claim to have illnesses like these, they aren’t something you should just throw around and say you have. -Mod A

anonymous asked:

I know this is probably really rude and could potentially upset you a lot, and I'm sorry, I don't want to upset you but I've seen you mention her a few times and was wondering how did your sister die?

It’s okay. I often forget that I have a lot of new followers since her passing and a lot of people probably don’t know about it. She had type 1 diabetes and didn’t take care of herself and she went in to kidney failure over the last couple of years. In February she went in to a coma, then she started to wake up but was in a vegetative state because she had severe brain damage from repeated diabetic comas. April came along and she still had made no progress and her state was considered permanent so my mom and other older sister Jasmine, had to go out (she lived in CA) and make the unfortunate decision to end her treatment because there was 0 quality of life and she could still feel pain, and was in a lot of horrible, excruciating pain. Her doctors said she would have died within a few months anyhow because of the condition her kidneys were in and she wasn’t eligible for a transplant. So, yeah. She died April 6th. 3 weeks before her 34th birthday. It still fucks me up and I feel like I’ll never really be able to cope with it and I live in constant fear that a mistake was made and if they had just given her another month or two months…she would have come through. It’s shitty and I don’t have much closure.

fruitmelt  asked:

for the aesthetic ask, space and black nail polish :D

ohh thank you!! 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

At my parents house, I don’t have a desk or a workspace anymore! My old room had one but since my sister is living at home while going to uni and I don’t I switched rooms with her so she has a desk! 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

1. swim with sharks
2. see the northern lights
3. go to the valley of flowers in August bc it’s supposed to be breathtaking