I-wanted-him-to-seem-more-alive

it was like the whole world was spinning around me but i was never moving
like a bad song on repeat but you dont even have the energy or the will to change it
the sadness is all you could concentrate on 
i was living but not really alive and i was breathing but only because oxygen still went through my lungs and forced me to inhale and exhale
i had days where a box of cigarette was my best friend and my lips pressed against the little shot glasses with vodka in them, seemed more appealing than using my lips for kissing that boy im apparently 'seeing’ now
i didn't want to be seeing him or anyone 
i wanted to be happy, i wanted someone to listen to me and be there 
i was so sick of being there for others but when i needed anything i felt like a burden 
you had such big brown eyes and i swore i liked green eyes before i saw yours 
you became my cigarettes and i enjoyed pressing my lips against yours instead drowning myself in vodka every single night i felt like washing the pain out
i got hooked on many drugs after we died out not because i was sad
i was numb to sadness by this point
but simply because vodka wasn't strong enough anymore to wash you away 
i wanted you to stay, i wanted you to love me and never be able to die without me by your side
i realized quickly that your smile wasn’t because you loved who i was as a person
but because i was pretty
i didn't want to be pretty i wanted to be someone you cannot un-love
i wanted strangers to notice, you were in love with me
but now i am beginning to understand that you could never love someone who found more comfort in drugs then any kind of friendship
i turned into someone who was addicted to toxins because it removed me from the world 
i forgot about the sadness 
i was coughing out blood the next day but your name was the only thing i could think about 
i was on my bathroom floor but i fucking wish i was in your arms 
but who was i fooling 
you were with her
i dont know if you love her 
but i know for sure she wouldn’t die for you 
i think real love is when you’d give up everything for the other 
and god knows i’d stand in a burning house for you 
tell me where did i go wrong 
was it my bitchy temper 
did i try to much
did i love you too much
i didn’t know there was such fucking thing
i guess ill go back to where i began
before i ever met you
i never want to meet another “you”
now i can’t commit 
i can’t believe someone could ever truly love me 
because you made me feel unlovable 
oh well 
at least drugs dont leave you, like lovers do 
i learnt this the hard way but the love i have for you is the strongest drug i’ll ever be on.
—  ~j 

“mercy saved genjis and reapers lives!!” 

1) tbh we only know that she saved genjis life. i dont think the stuff she did to reaper could possibly have been absolutely necessary to keeping him alive, it seems more to me like she was experimenting and used him as a way to test something new. which. is exactly why i joke that she probably never took the hippocratic oath. so like it seems like mercy ruined gabriels life and thats why i dont like her

2) she saved genji and yeah hes okay now but do we even know if he had any say in what was done to him?? probably not. this goes for reaper too and thats why i dont like mercy part 2

Making Him Human

What does it mean to be human? Cole wonders. He has asked it and searched for it, and yet, the boy has found few answers. Being alive, it seems, is not so easily explained.

To Cassandra, being human is to have faith—to believe in something that is greater than oneself and one’s own purpose.

For Varric, being human—being a person, being real—means telling stories (and forgetting the ones, in a way, that have the power to hurt you).

When he asks Solas, the elf does not answer him but he thinks, later, that being alive is about loving and hating the world with equal passion, with the whole of oneself: and that Solas is more human than he cares to admit.

To Sera, being a person means making a mess of it, of beating and bruising, and carving a lot of the little you get.

Blackwall thinks being human means making mistakes (and that forgiveness is what is more difficult).

Vivienne thinks little of being human, but does admit that reaching the peak of human potential holds its merits, has its power, has its gains.

Dorian does not agree with the former opinion. To him, being human is not about hierarchy or being better than somebody else. People cannot help but be who they are, Cole. Being human means being true that to self, whatever its flaws, and in learning and in growing, and in never giving up on what you truly desire.

The Iron Bull does not think it needs to be so complicated. In the qun, he explains, you are what you are: you are what you are good at. Being a person is how you have been made. You are a human because you are born human; you are an elf because you are born an elf; etcetera, etcetera. It is the same as saying that Bull is a warrior because he is a warrior. Cole doesn’t have to make it so complicated.

(And yet, he still does.)

What does it mean to be human when Cole has never felt real?

The Inquisition has helped people—Cole has helped people. Once, in the Hinterlands, a mother told them as much when they returned her lost babe to her arms, and she said, “Thank you. You’ve helped more than I could have hoped. I will always remember you.” But…

How can Cole be human when he makes them forget?

Humans are all about memory. They remember their first kiss, their first dance, and the time a loved one died that first time, and they buried them in the garden, amongst the flowers and a box of their favourite things. They remember what it felt like when the blade first pressed deep; they remember the things they did wrong, and they hold these wrongs inside of themselves like black treasure, counting out coins, using their sins as false currency. Humans hold themselves together, at the worst of times. But they hold others, too, at their best.

Humans are about touching and not touching: touching lips, touching hands, and not touching that topic, but touching things they have been told they should not touch. They touch in small spaces and break in small spaces—and when they touch, humans pretend that their hands do not leave marks on their skin.

Cole has seen bodies that have been touched by humans, too hard. They have bled, turned purple, yellow, white, blue—become nothing (although Cole will never forget them). He has seen bodies, too, that were not touched enough and have withered as a result, hidden away like owls at the light of the sun. In this, Cole knows how to be human most of all. But…

“I do not know that I can ever be human,” Cole tells the Inquisitor. They are sitting on the Skyhold wall. The sky is dark as his heart feels dark: spirit-fine and clouded with his questionings. “Broken. Beaten. Forgettable. Bruised. I do not make a good human at all.”

“None of us do,” the Inquisitor tells him, softly. Then, they hold his hand—which Cole can feel: he can feel their hand touching his hand, and he remembers that they, at least, will remember him, as they always remember to remember him, and that’s what makes him feel good, makes him feel better, makes him feel… real.

“We humans get by the best that we can.”

For Cole, that is enough to heal it. 

"Will you kiss me?"

Something I wanted to do for Bi-Visibility Week! 


Ohm had disconnected a good minute and a half before, Evan was keeping track.

The silence was haunting, and Evan kicked himself for what seemed to have been the eighth time since he said those damning words.

“If we make it out of here alive, will you kiss me?”

What in the name of anything, made him say that? How could he slip up so badly?

Delirious still hadn’t said a word in the minute and forty-six seconds, and Evan was pretty sure his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He thought of ways to make it seem more like a joke than it was, but he was coming up empty.

“So, you want me to kiss you now or later?”

Evan groaned loudly, despite Delirious’ teasing tone.

“Please, just please forget I said anything. It was only a joke.”

“Was it?” And was that hope in his voice?

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Serial Killer Obi-Wan??

I saw an American Psycho photoset before, talked with my wives @sanerontheinside and @eclipsemidnight, and ended up going “Obi-Wan as a serial killer” and this is what my brain spat out in less than five minutes… nrgh.

Also @deadcatwithaflamethrower I’m getting major Venge vibes from this gfdi


“Are you going to kill me?” Qui-Gon asked, leaning back loosely in his chair. The handcuffs around his wrists had rubbed the skin raw - something his captor had frowned at when he’d noticed - and were now padded with two handkerchiefs. 

“Do you want me to?” Qui-Gon’s captor asked back, staring at him with an unblinking gaze. Eyes green-blue with a hint of humour, Qui-Gon found them far more human than he was comfortable with. 

“Not particularly I’ll confess,” Qui-Gon replied, a wry lilt to his words. He quite liked being alive if he were honest. His captor seemed amused by his honesty.

“Then why did you ask me as though you knew my answer?” Qui-Gon blinked. There was a slight edge of hurt lingering in those words from his captor. 

Unexpected. 

“My apologies,” he said, inclining his head slightly, “I didn’t intend to offend you with my question." 

His captor smiled, a soft look that was so at odds with the image Qui-Gon had built up in his mind of his killer. But killer’s as skilled and organised as this one were often the best actors. 

"That’s why I’d never kill you Qui-Gon Jinn,” his captor said, voice fond as he reached out with a gloved hand and brushed back a strand of Qui-Gon’s hair. 

At Qui-Gon’s confused gaze, his smile widened as he explained, “you’re so damned polite that I don’t think I could live with myself if I were to kill you.”

omg guys how has no one ever written an aladdin au in a Middle Earth setting where Erebor never fell???? I mean come on, Thorin is the sheltered prince who has never even seen the stars and Bilbo is the orphan who has had to turn to petty burglary to get by.

Thorin wants nothing more than to escape palace life, which feels more and more like a prison cell with every new suitor Thrain presents him with, and Bilbo longs for a life in which he doesn’t have to wander Middle Earth, stealing food to stay alive. Of course Thorin runs away and meets Bilbo on the streets of Dale and he doesn’t tell him who he is but Bilbo seems to actually like him just for him and yeah basically they almost fall in love but then they’re both captured by Erebor’s guards and taken back to the mountain where Thror, mad with gold sickness, hires Bilbo to enter the cave of wonders to fetch him the legendary magic lamp.

Cue Bilbo finding a genie and wishing to be a prince so he can marry Thorin and then a load of lies and misunderstandings happen and Thror goes even crazier and tries to marry Thorin off to Thranduil instead or something idk but my point is it would all end up happily with Bilbo turning back into a simple hobbit and Thorin wanting to marry him anyway

Also there is probably a magic carpet ride in there somewhere. Because I want Bilbo to show Thorin the world and sing about it okay let me dream

Best part about the Hidekane ship is that whether it’s Human Kaneki, Kuroneki, Shironeki, Haise Sasaki we know for a fact that Hide will love him no matter what. Sasaki could live the rest of his life without getting his memories back and Hide will still love him and if the CCG ordered him to stay away Hide will comply because Kaneki is alive but I can’t say he is happy.

Speaking of which. The theory that Hide made a deal with the CCG to keep Kaneki alive as long as Hide stays away and doesn’t bring back his memories seems legit so I’m going off of that theory for this. If that’s the case, does this show us a bit of selfishness on Hide’s part? We know he has sacrificed so much to help Kaneki but now he’s keeping Kaneki alive despite Kaneki not truly being happy. Hide wants nothing more for than Kaneki to be happy but I think Hide wants Kaneki to live because he makes him(Hide) happy. Hide probably knows that they won’t torture him so leaving him in their care is better because he will continue to live. Or maybe Hide is leaving Kaneki with the CCG until he finds a way to save him himself. Until Hide knows he’s strong enough to protect Kaneki

Respond:  Nami will be important part of the upcoming wedding

As we all know the situation gets even more tense now that Luffy and Nami got overpowered by Big Mom’s enraged army. Things are still not going well, Sanji is one step closer to seal his fate and Mugiwaras still have a long way to go if the want to get him back alive.  I know I’ve been writing a lot about it but the more I read this current storyline the more I am certain that in the end it will be Nami who’ll save Sanji.  

There are so many reasons to believe it and despite I try to shorten it a lot, this is going to be quite long post so be prepared !

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Thoughts on the 03 x 23 Promo

Red looks so sad here when he tells (Cooper?) that Alexander Kirk took Elizabeth away from us so he is going to kill him. He just seems so empty when he says it.

And then in the Global promo Red tells Cooper that our time has come to an end. I believe Red is planning on leaving the task force after he kills Kirk. There is no reason for him to stay any more. I am just worried about him as he really acts like he has nothing to live for.

Above Red tells Dembe “I want to know where”. Are they talking about where Tom is taking Agnes or has Red discovered Lizzie is really alive and hidden somewhere? And if so, is Dembe in on it with Mr. Kaplan?

Above Red, Dembe, and Mr. Kaplan are chasing down Agnes. They obviously don’t trust Tom at all. He snuck off with her.

Above is where I believe Red finds out that they faked Lizzie’s death and hid it from him. Is he talking to Mr. Kaplan or Dembe here? Or is he talking to Lizzie? I hope the former because I would be much happier if Lizzie didn’t know, but even if she did she would have done it to protect Agnes only. He will forgive her.

I believe that Red sees Lizzie in the above gif. He looks like he is feeling tons of emotions - even in this less than 1 second scene. Whatever happens at the end of the finale - it will be emotional. And I am hoping that TPTB will let us end with positive emotion after all the hurt Red has been through. And hopefully some #Lizzington. Please!

The first time Castiel sees Dean after hearing he’s alive, he feels a spreading ache in his chest. Emanating from just left of the center, it pushes against his ribs so hard it might as well bruise. 

Dean watches him, mouth twisted into a smirk that seems more sewn into place than out of genuine amusement. “So, a human, an angel and a demon walk into a bar,” he says. 

In a moment, Cas is standing only a few steps in front of him. His hands, still dangling uselessly at his sides, itch to reach up and cup the human’s–the demon’s–face, to somehow express his urge to comfort Dean through touch. But, even now, Dean is off-limits, so Castiel just flexes his fingers instead. “Dean, how–?" 

Dean shrugs, turning his face away. "Guess this is what happens when you play with yourself too much. Might not be blind but I still got the shades.” He points at the darkness tinting his eyes. “Think they’d work as sunglasses? Or are they just there to creep people out?" 

Castiel ignores Dean’s question, opting to remain silent instead. He studies Dean’s face, takes in the cuts carved into his freckled skin. One above each eyebrow, just shy of cutting through the short brown hair. One sliced along his cheekbone, another, this one more jagged, beneath his lower lip. 

Unable to bear scrutinizing the injuries any longer, Cas lifts his gaze to Dean’s eyes again. They’re unsettling–unflinchingly boring into Cas, blackness concealing what emotion should be visible in them. 

"Are you okay with this?” Cas asks, hesitantly, quietly. 

Dean seems to consider the question for a moment. “Nope,” he decides. “Nope, I’m not really okay being something I’ve been taught to hate since I was a kid. Not in the fucking slightest, actually. Because it kinda sucks ass to learn that, yep, there’s yet another thing I can hate myself for. Whoop-de-fuckin’-doo.

He stops. Takes a breath. Smiles. “But unless you got an idea of how to, I dunno, stop me being part of the species that’s hurt almost everyone I care about, I don’t see much use in being loud about how I’d stab myself in the fucking chest if I weren’t scared I’d come back as something even worse than this. Never have been too vocal about that stuff before, anyway.”

Dean steps forward, hands shoved in pockets, eyebrows raised and head tilted to the side. “So, Cas, got any pearls of wisdom on the subject? Any way to help me not be…” He gestures to himself, “…this? One of Crowley’s little ducklings?" 

As Castiel looks back into the glistening, inky black of Dean’s eyes, he realises he doesn’t have an answer.

Something else he realises is that humans have a name for the pain in his chest: they call it heartbreak. 

I AM NOT OKAY AT ALL WHATSOEVER. JENSEN IS SO HAPPY AND FLUFFY AND HIATUS SEEMS TO BE TREATING HIM SO WELL. I JUST WANT HIM TO FEEL LIKE THIS FOREVER, I FEEL SO ALIVE RIGHT NOW. HES ALL SMILEY AND HE GETS TO SEE MISHA SOON WHOM HE HASNT SEEN IN PROBABLY 5 WEEKS NOW OMFG CAN U IMAGINE HOW MUCH PENT UP COCKLES THERE’S GONNA BE AT JIB THIS WEEKEND. *locks self in room with laptop* I AM NOT MOVING FROM THIS POSITION.

I want more Greg in S4.

I mean, he was so terribly unappreciated in S3 that my heart is bleeding. How did he feel during MHR, between S2 and S3? He seems so totally unmoved when he speaks to John or Anderson. Rationalising. Is is his reaction to losing Sherlock, his protection against the world, or Sherlock simply not being important enough?

What did he do after he met Sherlock alive? Got stoned? Smoked the whole packet of cigarettes? Forced Sherlock to explain the thing to him? Or maybe he just didn’t let go of him for, like, five minutes? I can’t believe that a man who is so emotional about things, so normal, just accepted the fact that his friend was alive again, all of a sudden.

What was he doing during the wedding, apart from making an idiot out of himself and drinking? Did he notice anything weird about Sherlock? For God’s sake, in the first episode he had already known him for 5 years (if I remember correctly what he says). I don’t know how long S1 and S2 took together but let’s say, 2 years. And 2 years between S2 and S3 so 9 years. I know they don’t think Lestrade brilliant but he’s not an idiot either, otherwise Sherlock wouldn’t like to work with him (and he does). After 9 years you know a man well enough, even if he is Sherlock Holmes, to tell when something is wrong. And yet, we can see no involvement of his. He’s not the type to just let things slide like that.

Earlier, we also see him speaking with Molly about Sherlock being John’s best man, which suggests some sort of warmer relationship between them but we don’t know his reaction to Molly’s fiancé apart from looks. We know nothing about what has happened in his life when Sherlock was busy in Serbia and John was busy falling for Mary, and Molly was busy with Tom. I mean, he’s like an extra in S3. All he does is hanging around and going to pubs—in MHR and HLV as well. He’s not important in Magnussen’s manipulations or anything, even though he was important to Moriarty—so Sherlock holds him in high esteem and cares about him, despite what he might show outside.

We get the continuation of ‘Greg’s his name’ but no real involvement of Greg either. We don’t know if it’s a game between him and Sherlock or if Sherlock really doesn’t remember his name because it’s information of no relevance since he’s Lestrade. We don’t know his feelings about it. Is Sherlock irrelevant so he doesn’t care? Surely not. So?

He’s so badly 2D and left out in S3 that I want to cry. Not to mention that we know exactly nothing about his private life. We even know about Anderson and Donovan—but not Gregory Lestrade. Seriously?

I’ve always seen him as someone who cared so badly about Sherlock, who tried to keep him in check, someone who stuck around even when he was being constantly pushed away, who could be trusted, who was ready to protect, who guided Sherlock through the meanders of social life and kept others away from him when that was needed. Someone who wasn’t appreciated even though he did a lot. But that lack of appreciation was supposed to come from Sherlock himself, not from the writers! 

anonymous asked:

So how would the Allies, Romano, and Spain reach were they in a nuclear apocalypse and they had lost their special someone? (Its for fanfic I'm writing and I need insight please)

APH America/Alfred:

He would have to take some time to himself to get over his loss. He loved them and they were one of the few things keeping him alive. He’d become irritable and even more stubborn. He’d become the character in the movie who seems like an asshole but then you learn why he’s always pissed off and can’t seem to stress safety enough. 

APH China/Yao:

He’d start keeping to himself more. He doesn’t want to become close to anyone since he’s afraid it’ll happen again. His heart would be closed off to everybody and it’d take a while for him to open up to people again. 

APH England/Arthur:

He would become more cynical than ever. Nothing was ever a positive and he stopped caring whether or not he lived. Sometimes, he’d just lay awake at night, missing them. He’s never seen wtih a smile on his face. 

APH France/Francis:

Now he becomes slightly more badass. He’ll pick up Francois’ habit of smoking but not very often, only when he needed to calm down. He’s constantly practicing shooting, knowing that he might have to kill someone if he needs the supplies and they aren’t willing to share. He becomes battle hardened and now it’s almost a part of him. 

APH Russia/Ivan:

Incredibly broken. Most days, he’s living on for them, doing his best. Sometimes, he’ll just have a breakdown. They were special to him and he was living for them just as much as he was living for himself. He’d do his best to be happy, aware that they wouldn’t want him to be sad but he can’t help it sometimes. 

APH Romano/Lovino:

His anger is projected on everyone for a while. He’s always yelling and always stressed out. He isn’t aware of it sometimes and he’ll just start punching stuff. His pain tolerance grows so quickly (he’s always punching things to stop yelling at people) that one hit could knock you out. He’s extremely rough but that becomes his way of showing affection to the new people he’s met. 

APH Spain/Antonio:

He wouldn’t want to have changed too much but that can’t be helped. He’d be more prone to being sad and he doesn’t want to hear negative things very often. He’s a lot more cautious and doesn’t want to do anything too risky. 

Red Devil Theory

I have one theory on who can possibly be the Red Devil in Scream Queens. 

 Boone and Pete. 

In the end of the episode, we see the Red Devil go to the morgue and pull Boone (Nick Jonas) out who was up to that point allegedly dead. He is revealed to be alive and seemed to have planned it. 

The reason I think he’s working with Pete (Diego Boneta) who at this point we haven’t seen them together in the same scenes because they both hate Chanel or have something against her. I believe they could be switching off being the Red Devil and with Pete having the mascot costume  as seen in the second hour of the Pilot it seems more convenient for him to be the Red Devil 

Pete wants to take down Chanel’s sorority so it makes sense for him but I also think that he still is very angry about Chanel not returning his feelings for her. Also, we saw how Pete could just easily break in to an office and the Red Devil breaks into the Kappa house. At that point, Boone probably was the Red Devil when he hung Pete up just to get Pete off the list. Boone’s motivation is wanting Chad and Chanel is the only one at this point in the way. 

With that in mind Boone might want her out of the picture and with Pete he decided to collaborate on kiling people close to her to set her up. It’s also very possible that Pete could be the baby from the girl who died in the beginning given his age. 

“It’s not that he’s rude, you understand—he’s unfailingly polite, funny, generous with his time and wonderful company.  It’s simply that, when he begins a sentence, you’re locked in for the paragraph, and if you try to interject, often he’ll just keep talking while you talk.”

“And yet there is a clear and wonderful flip side to all this concern of his, which is unbelievable enthusiasm. As much as he seemingly worries about everything, he’s excited and thrilled about everything else.” 

“To him, it seems, everything is neon bright.  The barbs may sting more sharply, but his sun must shine that much brighter.” 

“It’s not hard to imagine how this sensitivity feeds into his acting. He feels more, notices more, hears more. He’s a human tuning fork.” 

“Every atom of me wants to be a part of it. Because I am alive.” 

(Quotes from GQ article, January 2014.) 

The Inner Workings of Bisexuality

The Inner workings of Bisexuality

Commission for Anonymous: Harry Potter/Scott McCall

Stiles is convinced that Scott’s most recent breakup (with Kira) has broken him. Derek wants Stiles to understand bisexuality exist. Scott just wants to be left alone with his new boyfriend. Peter is amused about the whole thing and happy to be alive. Slash. Scott/Harry. Stiles/Derek.

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Into The Labyrinth

@godsheritage

What happened exactly…? Last thing the girl remembered was she was chasing after Kirbopher. But…that didn’t make any sense. How did Kirb end up in the real world? More importantly…what did he want…?

Her eyes slowly began to crack open. Stephanie sat up, rubbing her head slightly. “What the hell…?” She looked around to find what seemed to be a distorted city. Looking down to the side, she noticed an all too familiar face.

“Michael?!” She went over to him, putting her ear to his chest, then sighed with relief. “Still alive…”  He didn’t seemed to be injured, which was good. Steph but a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. “Michael…you need to wake up. I don’t think this is the best place to nap…”

anonymous asked:

Yall have y'all's heads so far up valdayas ass yall don't realize they're JUST FRIENDS. they've know each other for years & yall get excited for a Xmas tree outing? Maybe he didn't have nothing to do, & just tagged along. Lol what would a grown ass man want w/ a child. I'd love for him to be w/ z but I just don't think he sees her like that. Plus she seems more into that Trevor guy.

First off: Excuse me? My head’s where? Who the fuck do you think you’re messing with? I’ll eat you alive little duck.

Second off:

You think she’s a child? She’s fucking 18. Legal. Plus she’s hot as holy hell so you can go jump in a swamp for all I care. I can explain this to you but I can’t understand it for you, so you might want to put your big-girl ears on.

“She’s a grown grown woman, she’s just playing a role right now”

“I love this girl, man, I really do”

HAVE A MERRY HOLIDAY SEASON. PLEASE DON’T COME BACK. MUCH LOVE -CASSIDY