asylos  asked:

If you're taking the AU ideas as prompts, 9 :) Enjoy the last of your spring break!

You live in the apartment next to me. We’re not supposed to have pets, but I KNOW you have a cat. I’ll make you a deal, I won’t tell, if you let me pet it.

Sephiroth hated his neighbors mostly on principle. Even if they weren’t terrible neighbors he would find some fault with them and twist it into a reason to hate them and never interact with them. 

The first had been a terrible hag who had an ugly laugh and also smoked, making sure to blow it out in the direction of whatever window he had open while she bitched about everything (including her asshole neighbor who couldn’t see her advances)

Second had been a lovely couple…who had very, very loud sex…at various hours of the day. Most often at 3 A.M. 

Last had been a very hyper college student whom he was positive had stolen from his apartment (though he was unsure how or when). 

His mother told him to stop bitching. 

“You wanted out of the house remember,” she told him, “and it’s funny how all of them end up leaving, but you’re still there.” Sephiroth was quite possessive of his apartment. He had it exactly the way he wanted it to be. 

His bed against the wall, and his writing desk by the window. The kitchen peeked out behind the door, and his bathroom had a large enough supply closet to use as a walk-in closet instead. He actually liked this place and it was well within his price range. 

He just didn’t like the other people around him. 

The newest tenant hadn’t quite been there long enough to become a nuisance, but it was only a matter of time. He seemed disheveled a lot of the time, and extremely tired. But he was quiet when he was home and polite when he left early in the morning for his daily run…or get more of his loud, clanky cereal that he ate quite often. 

The only thing Sephiroth could think to bitch about was that he had a tendency to talk to himself and seemed unaware of how thin the walls were. He kept it to a quiet murmur though, so Sephiroth decided it was a fair enough to not complain about it and appear the asshole of the situation. 

You are an asshole though, Sephiroth’s mother reminded him. She told him that often enough…in her very endearing way. 

Sephiroth jumped a little when he heard a phone ring. He rolled his eyes when he realized it was next door. His neighbor answered quickly and with a lot of fake brightness. 

And then Sephiroth heard the loudest outburst from his neighbor so far. 


Sephiroth stared at the wall for a long while, wondering what was up. Then his phone began to ring. 

His landlord, a usually absentee man who only cared when rent was due was calling. 

“Exterminating termites in one of my other buildings,” was the explanation, “so myself an an inspector will be coming along to make sure your rooms are all up to code.” Sephiroth agreed and stared at the wall a little more. 

Why would the landlord freak out this one so much? 

Sephiroth ran through the list of simple rules in his head. No drugs, pay on time, no pets, no long term guests, no…


Sephiroth sat up and opened his window, peeking out to where said neighbor was frantically picking up his kitchen. His eyes narrowed when he picked up a bag, far too bright and cheery to be cereal. 

He also recognized a common pet food logo. 

It wasn’t loud cereal in a metal bowl…it was pet food. And he wasn’t talking to himself, he was talking to his. 

Sephiroth jerked back inside when said neighbor threw open his window with a litany of curses. But he was certain. His neighbor held a contraband animal in his apartment. 

It would have been reason enough to hate him, to gleefully wish for eviction. Except…

Sephiroth was at his neighbor’s door in an instant. Never, even during his most annoyed states, had he come to this point. 

The frantic looking blonde stared up at him. 

“Um…hi?” he asked, “can I help you?” 

“We haven’t met yet,” Sephiroth said, “but I live next door.”

“Oh…right,” the blonde said, “I’m Cloud…and this is kind of a bad time so-”

“I know you have a cat,” Sephiroth said. Cloud paled. 

“Oh…I’m not sure what you’re talking about so-” 

“These walls are thin,” Sephiroth said, “Extremely so.” Cloud now turned red with embarrassment, but didn’t back down.

“Look, I might be a little weird, but I don’t have a-”

“It’s escaped from your bedroom,” Sephiroth pointed out. 

“Shit!” Cloud cried whipping around. An orange tabby looked at Sephiroth curiously from around the corner. 

“I…I…” Cloud backed towards the cat and scooped it up. It tried to wriggle away from him, much more interested in the stranger. 

“And I know the landlord is coming,” Sephiroth said, “But…I would be willing to help you, given one condition.” 

“Umm…” Cloud looked lost, but finally looked back to Sephiroth, “What condition?” 

“I want to pet him,” Sephiroth said. Cloud blinked. 


“Yes.” Sephiroth stared longingly at the cat, who merped at his owner in pure annoyance. Simply exquisite. 

“I guess it’s okay,” Cloud said, “he likes attention anyway.” 

“May I?” Sephiroth asked. He waited for the nod before reaching forward. He relished the little sound the creature made at his touch and he quickly found a spot that made him purr. 

Satisfied, he pulled away. 

“Thank you,” he said, “now about helping you…”