Sometimes I feel hollow inside, like an empty drum. I work, I talk to people, I laugh, I do things to keep busy… but it all feels so empty. It’s a purposeless routine… I have no real direction and I can’t see my life changing any time soon. I know this is better than the constant agony I used to feel when you first left but sometimes I wonder – Is this what ‘getting better’ is?… Is this all it will ever be… this emptiness?
I know you shouldn’t believe that a person can complete you. You’re supposed to be a complete person on your own… and I was… I always have been… But I wasn’t a HAPPY person. I just sort of ‘existed’ and did things because that’s what you’re supposed to do…
But I never felt inspired by anything and I was never really happy until I met you. And it’s hard to let go of that. It’s something so many people take for granted every day and I absolutely cherished every second of it… but losing it was hard. And I’m doing my best… I tell myself “head up, don’t cry, and look ahead not behind” but even my own laughter sounds different now… false and hollow as it echoes around my empty chest.
And those are times it’s hardest not to miss you, when I’m smiling or laughing on the outside but feeling so little on the inside and I ask myself; is this really getting better? Or is this just the numbness you feel when you’ve felt too much pain for too long?
Summary: in which reader and Daniel are friends with benefits but end up catching feelings that aren’t sexual
Message?: THERES NO SMUT BECAUSE IM YOUNG YOU PERVERTS lmao
“He’s got Kang Daniel disease,” the doctor announced on SNL’s new sketch.
I laughed, picking up the remote and changing the channel, muttering, “I’ve got Kang Daniel disease.”
“I’m feeling so energetic,” Jaehwan sang as my TV landed on music bank.
“Why is everything about that bloody boy!” I shouted, turning off the TV and storming into my kitchen where I sat on the table, contemplating what to do.
I can’t keep going to Daniel everytime I get bored. It’s weird and unnatural.
But it’s very right…
“Y/N?!” I heard Daniel’s voice from outside the front door, “Y/N! Please let me in! Someone’s coming!”
I ran to the door, unlocking it as fast as I could and seeing Daniel in, not caring how much rain he dripped in my apartment.
I ran to the bathroom, grabbing a towel off the heater and walking back to see Daniel standing in my kitchen, dripping with a bunch of flowers at his side, also dripping everywhere.
I threw the towel at him and he smiled, putting the flowers on the table before shivering into the warm blanket he’d just wrapped around himself.
“You alright?” I asked as he sat on one of the stools at my breakfast bar.
He continued shivering, his teeth chattering as he spoke, “I was coming over… and… and I heard someone scream ‘Kang Daniel’ before realising… re-realising that I can’t go anywhere without people seeing me.”
I smiled, “I can’t go anywhere without seeing you.”
“What?” he asked.
“I’m trying to peacefully watch TV, then, ‘Kang Daniel disease’,” I laughed.
He chuckled, “SNL?”
I nodded, dishing him up some of the ramen I’d made myself earlier.
“Thank you!” he exclaimed, immediately eating up the entire bowl.
“Why were you coming here anyway?” I asked, perching on the end of the table, eating gummies.
“I don’t even know anymore,” he said, stealing my gummies.
“Yeah you do,” I said, snatching the bag back, “what is it?”
Daniel sighed, pushing the empty bowl away from him, “I was thinking.”
I took the bowl, chuckling as I walked to the sink before starting to wash it up, “that’s dangerous.”
“Seriously,” Daniel said, “I was thinking about us.”
“What? About how wrong this is?” I asked, leaving the bowl in the sink and turning round, wiping my hands on the nearest towel.
I looked at Daniel, dimly lit due to the broken light in the kitchen, a towel wrapped round his neck, his wet hair sticking to his no-makeup- face and his wet, black t-shirt sticking to his toned torso.
“You think so too?” he said, running his hands through his wet hair, making it stick up.
“I mean, I know many people talk about it being a thing, but,” I sighed, “but I don’t like it.”
Daniel shook his head, “I don’t even know how we got here.”
“Who knows?” I chuckled.
“So what are we?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Friends?” I said.
He nodded once, standing up, “that’s what I thought.”
“What?!” I exclaimed.
He had started to walk away after picking up his flowers but stopped, turning around.
“That’s it?! You came all the way here in the pouring rain, risking gettin caught just to clarify what we already know?!” I exclaimed, my voice getting louder and louder as my heart rose higher and higher in my throat.
“What else?” Daniel asked.
I looked down at the wet flowers, motioning to them, I spoke again, “what are those?”
“These?” Daniel asked, holding them up even though they were lilting.
I nodded, trying to read his face as he looked at the flowers.
“Just in case,” he said, a sadness evident in his voice.
“Just in case of what?” I asked, knowing what would push him over the edge and tell me what was really up.
“Just in case you said something else,” Daniel sighed, beginning to walk away again.
“Like I love you?” I asked, tears now gathering in my own eyes, “like instead of fucking me in bed, please cuddle me? Like when you asked ‘what are we’, just incase I said ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’?”
Daniel stopped once again, looking behind him but not bothering to turn.
“Look if you know that is what I want and it’s not what you want, shut up, I’ll leave and never come back, you can find someone else to pleasure you,” Daniel snapped.
“I don’t want to,” I said, smirking as Daniel’s hand reached for the door, “and I know you don’t want me to either.”
“This isn’t about me anymore,” Daniel stated, “we’ve already sorted that.”
“And I’ve sorted my views Daniel.”
“That you want to be friends,” Daniel swallowed, “and that’s fine.”
I chuckled, “Daniel you don’t listen, do you?”
“I’d rather leave at this point,” Daniel said.
“But don’t,” I instructed, “stay and listen.”
“2 minutes,” Daniel said, sighing as he turned around and looked at me.
“I’ve already said Daniel! I don’t want to go off and find someone else to pleasure me! Nor do I want you to pleasure me anymore! All those things I asked about those flowers, I’m not teasing you! If that’s what you want then this is one of the happiest days of my fucking life Daniel! All those things I listed?! They’re what I want! Someone in between all this mindless fucking, I’ve fallen in love with you Kang Daniel!” I shouted, before breaking down, “why can’t you see that?”
“You’ve fallen in love with me?” Daniel asked, his voice cracking.
“Yes you idiot,” I smiled, tears falling down my face.
“Could I stay over tonight?” Daniel asked, his voice softer and calmer than it had been since he arrived.
“What for?” I chuckled.
Daniel chuckled, looking at his feet, “to see what it’s like to stay in the same bed as you with my clothes on.”
I laughed, dabbing at my tears, “that’d be interesting.”
Daniel smiled, taking his shoes off once again and walking up to me, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close before kissing me, differently than he ever had before.
He pulled away, both of us breathless but not like we had been before.
I’m currently at college studying music, I’m like the biggest music nerd you will ever meet, I play a bit of everything but mainly guitar, piano, ukulele and sing.
I spend a lot of time reading cause I hate knowing that I’m looking at my phone all the time, which is why I love snail mail, it just seems so much more personal. As well, I love languages and at the moment are learning German.
Honestly though, I love seeing people talk about the things they love so literally talk to me about anything and I’m so up for a conversation about it.
Preferences: I would prefer someone close to my age so like 17-21. I would love to do snail mail but I really don’t mind, email me or message me on any social media.
So, today during my massage, my MT and I were talking about how other people do things that we find unreasonable or just plain stupid, but that obviously the people doing the thing must think that they are reasonable or they wouldn’t be doing them.
We talked about an acquaintance of mine who is now in jail for doing stupid shit, and both thought that certainly being put in jail must raise some ‘red flags’ to him that his behavior is not reasonable. We agreed that sometimes we can even look back at our own lives and wonder why the hell we did something, which, in hindsight, was stupid, but must’ve seemed reasonable at the time.
Anyway, I got to thinking about myself and certainly realized that the weight I’ve gained over the last year or so needs to be a RED FLAG for me. What I’m doing isn’t working and I need to change my behavior. While over-eating isn’t going to land me in actual jail, it is certainly a constraint on me, I can’t move like I used to, I feel tired and lethargic instead of energetic, I feel depressed instead of hopeful and vibrant, so, in a way, it is a jail.
Why is it so hard to see our own red flags, and, then, having seen them, why is it so hard to DO SOMETHING about it? It’s easy to see red flags waving around other people, but so hard to see the ones right in front of our faces.
I’m going to commit to seeing my own warning flags and getting back into the green, back to feeling hopeful and happy and energetic. I really am tired of being tired.
Apparently a new RTTE trailer shows dragon winged people. Thoughts on this?
I was totally waiting for this ask to enter my inbox heeheehee.
My thoughts are mostly “Sure, why not?” with a bunch of XD XD XD XD’s after the cheeky question. I imagine there are going to be a number of individuals who feel hesitant about it for various reasons, but me, hey! I’m not going to judge it before I see it! I think it could be fun! FLYING DRAGON WARRIOR WOMEN. I mean, when you say it like that, doesn’t that sound major cool?
I am rather excited about seeing it’s women who are gliding on these wings. It’s something that should be a minor detail, but given as how ROB, DOB, and RTTE haven’t shown many women, it’s become a refreshing observation to me now. As I’ve commented in seasons past, the television show hasn’t given us many background (or foreground) female butt-kickers to enjoy on screen. It looks like these goddesses warriors of the sky are going to tip the balance some in favor of giving me badass ladies as I’ve wanted for years. We’re not seeing painfully stereotypical defenseless women here in this screenshot. THese are women in POWERFUL ARMOR and women doing some AMAZINGLY GUTSY STUNTS up in the sky. Not just anyone goes up in the sky like that. These women are specialists, these women are skilled, these women are paving out new opportunities!
Not everything about their garb is technically “practical” given as they’re wearing full plated metal armor while gliding in the sky - something that would weigh them down. But if they’re gliding shortish distances, maybe they can get away with the armor (regardless, this is fantasy, so I’d rather see badass heavily armored ladies than skimpy bikinis, heehhhhh). And if they’re gliding in to do heavy fighting, they’ll need armor to protect themselves! If it’s Gronckle iron or some other light alloy, we could get some explaining power in there, too. There’s also something to say about how their hair is very practical worn - buns, tied back, etc. - and I also appreciate that women, who are statistically a little lighter and smaller than men, are the ones who are gliding, where larger size could possibly be a disadvantage.
I’m rather curious about who these women are. Their armor is yet again a distinct style, though if I have to compare it to anyone’s armor, I’d say it’s the closest to Heather’s. Given as Heather grew up in a random unnamed Viking tribe, I don’t imagine these people came from Heather’s foster family group. But Heather also did a bit of traveling in her years, would have seen a variety of armor aesthetic styles, and… well… basically… who knows? The appearance similarities could be (and likely are) entirely incidental.
Are they protagonists who side with Hiccup? Given the armor differences, I don’t think they’re Defenders of the Wing coming to Hiccup’s aid. They have to be someone new. Are they the antagonists mentioned in pre-S5 summaries? Their facial expressions don’t “suggest” antagonists, but who knows? Either way, I’m game for flocks of power women in armor doing dramatic stunts in the skies.
To respond to some qualms I imagine individuals might have, since I know lots of people are going to react to this screencap with “ehhh” or “please no”:
First, there’s nothing about people gliding on dragon wings that actually takes away from Hiccup’s ingenious gliding device from HTTYD 2, which is where I think most people might have an “objection.” Hiccup’s development of gliding wings is already well in progress by RTTE; the basic mechanism of jumping off a dragon and gliding on his own is already established, and he just needs to do some tweaking to get his flight suit the way it is by the second movie. His flight suit is nothing like the gliders that the people in the screenshot have; the flying squirrel-like contraption that can be released directly from his clothing and used as gliding fabric is a wholly new, inventive, and Hiccup-esque idea that no one else has.
I’m guessing the other common objection other individuals might have is that it seems “unrealistic” or too much of a “copy” of what we see Hiccup invents. For me, neither of those things are a concern. Again, I feel that the flying squirrel-like clothing Hiccup invents is nothing like what I’m seeing in the screencap, and besides, the fact Hiccup developed it independently means that he’s still as inventive as ever. The fact that other people groups can be inventive and come up with novel ideas on their own is… well… it’s not that surprising, given as the Barbaric Archipelago is exploding in dragons. With the large number of small, semi-isolated people groups across the region, it’s not surprising they’ve all come up with their own unique ways of adapting their culture to dragons, be it with religious reverence, war-like vengeance, dragon riding, dragon traps, dragon hunting, wares crafted from dragon parts, live dragon fighting matches, dragon architecture, dragon-inspired swords, dragon-inspired gliders, or even, as we see in “The Serpent’s Heir,” living on dragons. To me it’s just good-natured fun to imagine how different people groups, civilizations, militias, etc. might look at the dragon and become inspired by them. So again… why not? More people than Hiccup have a right to be inventive! Even in the books, there are people like Norbert who are more inventive than Hiccup.
There’s nothing that concerns me too much about “realism” so long as the story makes “sense enough.” We are watching a television show where non-Viking-like Vikings are riding giant firebreathing (or ice breathing or acid-spitting or…) winged lizards. And for what it’s worth, the book series has always been charmingly less realistic than the movies… full of anachronisms like steamboats and clashes with the somehow-contemporary Roman Empire. There’s even a scene where thousands of insect-sized dragons cover Hiccup like a suit of armor and fly Hiccup into the air so our protagonist can pretend to be Thor God of Thunder. Another time, Alvin the Treacherous survives falling into the lava of a freaking volcano because he gets trapped in a gas bubble. Nothing realistic about it, but still whimsical, still fun, still good-natured, and still captures the fun spirit of a world with Vikings and dragons.
One invention by one people group in a television show written for largely juvenile audiences… isn’t going to upset me or something. It’s not like we’re depicting something really racist or misogynistic or horrendous that would get me upset for a reason. I’m totally chill with this. Television shows and movies and stories are sometimes wacky, but they’re all written to be adventuresome, creative, storytelling fun. And for people who might say “Well doesn’t this take away from the quality of the movies?” ….friendly newsflash, a television show adaptation from a major movie is always “not-as-good” as the movie itself. Doesn’t mean it can’t be fun! I prefer to enjoy my recreational television and find fun positives about it rather than get caught up on minor details that really aren’t that important to my health, life, future, and well-being. ;)
I say don’t dismiss it before you see it! And you don’t have to like everything about a television show. That’s totally chill. I don’t like everything about everything myself. XD I just ask you not to crap on things others might enjoy. :) Fandoms shouldn’t be groupthink where we’re all forced to like the same things. We’re allowed to like something and we’re allowed to not like something and we’re allowed to express what we feel regardless because our personal emotions are legitimate and real. I do think that whining hurts the fandom community and fandom temperament, though, so I personally recommend people talking about things they don’t like with constructive criticism.
Sorry about pointing out potential negative fandom dynamics. <3 You all are awesome and I’m happy to be in the HTTYD community with ya’ll.
I personally am fine with this and am interested to see what the writers do with these flying dragon warrior ladies! To reiterate on a more positive front…
1). Female warriors taking the front in RTTE at last!
2). Their armor is major cool looking and has a nice aesthetic to it.
3). This is a bunch of ladies in armor flying on dragon wings! I mean, when you actually think about that, isn’t that sort of cool? Flying dragon warrior ladies?!! I mean, what’s not to like about any of those words in that phrase - “flying dragon warrior ladies”? XD XD XD
This is a touchy topic to cover but I feel like its important. Depression isnt something you can get over, its an emotion that just engulfs you with horrible feelings. Its not just being sad, its not taking care of yourself and looking at the world around you in a negative way. It doesnt go away either. I’ve been depressed my entire life and there was no way, shape or form have I seen it disappear. Ive always had to hide it or at least forget about it. But this has lead to more problems like my anxiety and panic. This is the main reason why I made this blog. To go to a place where i can talk to lovely people and look at things that make me happy. Thats why I love talking to all of you and helping with your problems. But i also have a problem with messaging back and im so sorry. I have this mood a lot where i just dont want to talk and just listen to music and think. Dont think im ignoring you please. I do also have a lot of messages i cant get to and im so sorry. I love you all so so much. Have a wonderful sunday night 💜💙🐱
This is a ramble, read it or not but it concerns the newly screwed up Zelda Timeline. Correct me on any false things I may have said!!
There are A LOT of reasons why Breath of the Wild does not fit into the Zelda timeline correctly, but here are the main ones that I have heard people talk about and just some things I’ve noticed put into a summary.
To start off, the game seems to be an expansion of the original Hyrule in Ocarina of Time. So, seeing this, you must be thinking that this game does not correlate with the Adult Timeline (Windwaker, etc.) and instead, the Child timeline (Oot, Majora, Twilight, etc.). It even references to the original Temple of Time, Zora’s Domain, Death Mountain and many other things that exist in the Child Timeline. Overall, you may have thought that the Link in Botw is a descendant of the Hero of Time and the Hero of Twilight. Seems legit, right? Well here’s where things get very complicated and confusing to many players including myself.
In the first memory that is gathered by Link, Zelda is making him anofficial knight. In this speech, she references to the SS hero, Oot hero and the TP hero, and not the hero from WW. So again, the idea of the game being somewhere in the child timeline is conspicuous.
However, if you have played Wind Waker, you know that the Rito tribe is in theory an evaluation of the ancient race of Zora’s. This is confirmed by the ancient sage ‘Laruto’ when she tells Medli that she is a descendant of Laruto herself, even though Medli is a Rito and not a Zora like Laruto. Therefore, confirming the evaluation. There are many things that contribute to this theory/mostly confirmed fact, but I’m not going to explain it all, there are many videos on YouTube explaining it.
So after knowing this, it’s very confusing as to how the Zora’s and Rito exist in the same Hyrule (Sidon, Revali, etc.). Where does the game lie now? Is this Link a descendant of The Hero of The Flood? Does it have a timeline of it’s own? Did the timelines merge together somehow?
Another thing crossing over from Wind Waker is the Koroks. Again, in WW, it’s explained by and ancient sage 'Fado’, that the Koroks are an evaluation of the Kokiri children due to the great flood of Hyrule. If this game really does take place in the Child Timeline, then what happened to the Kokiri children? They had no reason to evolve into Koroks like in the Adult Timeline, so that again, is another confusing thing that I have yet to understand.
Another unanswered question is: who in the goddesses name is the hero from 10,000 years in the past prior to BOTW. This hero is referenced more than once within BOTW, and was apparently the first hero to witness the Devine beasts and the new guardians made my the shiekas, and that’s how Ganon was defeated 10,000 years ago prior to BOTW. But who is this hero? Why was THAT not the story of the game? Why is this story not following directly after one of the video games and references to some random hero no one knows about? These are all questions I am sure everyone wants answered, but so far, Nintendo has only confirmed that BOTW takes place after OOT (wow, thanks for the groundbreaking news Nintendo…). Any who, these are just some things really confusing me and some questions that are VERY unanswered. There are more things that contribute to everyone’s confusion, but I think these are the obvious ones.
do you take credit for inventing the term 'adulting'? I never heard people talk about adulting or saying things like "I can't adult today" or even generally express the similar concept before this blog existed.
Yep! I did (sort of) invent it. I thought I had, anyway, though I found one person used it in the same context about four years before I started the blog.
It’s weeeeeeird to invent a word, then have it become popular, then have a lot of people misinterpret or generally hate it.
hey, guys! i know i’ve mentioned this before, but i’m just settling into college life, which is why i’ve barely been on the past week or so. it’s been crazy busy. but i wanted y'all to know some stuff:
i’m so much happier here. i’ve posted before on here (probably more than i should’ve, tbh) that i’ve gone through some rough stuff emotionally/mentally over the past few months (and to a greater extent, years), a lot of it having to do with the fact that i drifted from my friends and also had almost no lgbtq+ community/resources, so i didn’t really have much of a support network in my hometown, especially when it came to being gay.
now things are a lot different. i’m meeting so many new friends and people, i can be out, i feel really safe, i feel like i can talk to people about things. my mental health since i got here has been…really good. better than it’s been in a long time. (of course, who knows if i can maintain this when classes actually get underway, but i can handle academic pressure pretty decently, so i’m optimistic. maybe i’m naive, but hey, i’m not going to worry about that right now.)
i’ll be totally honest: i don’t know if i’m ever going to be posting quite as frequently as i did before. it really depends how things shake out when classes start. i’ll almost definitely be posting more than i have over the past few days, but college life is crazy busy. and…for a long time, this website was how i got pretty much any support/interaction. and, well. i’m in a better place now. (if you’re one of the good friends i made on here: don’t worry, i love and cherish our friendship just as much as before. i might be spending less time on here, but that doesn’t mean you matter any less to me.)
that’s really it for now, y'all. as always, much love.