I-shit-you-not

Quick Story

Someone asked me to share an embarrassing moment involving “my size”, oooooh boy okay.

I was going to visit someone and stay with them; long story short: I tried crawling out of the bed I was sleeping in one night, aaand I broke the bed. Awkward af.

Plot of the Ahsoka Novel
  • Ahsoka: *lands on planet*
  • Ahsoka: *Immediately finds the only gay girl on the planet*
  • Gay Girl: *Immediately starts crushing on Ahsoka*
  • Ahsoka: *Is oblivious*
  • Gay Girl: *Defends her woman against all challenges*
  • Ahsoka: *Rescues Gay Girl*
  • Gay Girl's Sister: Fuck the Jedi!
  • Gay Girl: I'm tryin'!
  • Ahsoka: *Rescues Gay Girl Again*
  • Ahsoka: *Feels guilty about having to lie to gay girl*
  • Ahsoka: *Is forced to flee the planet*
  • Ahsoka: *Goes and recruits the entire rebellion to rescue gay girl*
  • Ahsoka: *Fucking destroys an Inquisitor with her bare hands and takes a pair of kyber crystals off his still smoking corpse to build lightsabers to use to rescue gay girl*
  • Ahsoka: *Kicks the ass of an entire imperial garrison to rescue gay girl*
  • Ahsoka: *evacuates gay girl's entire planet to save them from Imperial Reprisals*
  • Gay Girl: I could kiss you!
  • Ahsoka: Huh? (No, serious, this is *actual dialog*)
  • Gay Girl: *sighs* I'm never going to see you again, am I?
  • Ahsoka: Given my history with girls, only if you decide to murder me, or frame me for murder.
FIDGET SPINNERS IN ROCKET LEAGUE!
  • Josh: Yeah, I'm not leaving Sidemen FC. I'm not a traitor.
  • -5 minutes later, after the game has ended-
  • Simon: Wait, I got MVP, so I get to choose! I'm gonna stay on the YouTube Allstars.
  • Simon: Who's gonna be on the YouTube Allstars with me?
  • Josh: I've joined YouTube Allstars.
I JUST WENT FUCKING 55MPH IN A 35 ZONE TO GET HOME AND WATCH SUPERNATURAL

*light turns green*

*Floors it*

*light turns red anyways*

*me* GOD MOTHER FUCKING DAMMIT COCK FUCKING WAFFLE TURN FUCKING GREEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

*turns green*

*smiles*

*sings* Goin on a trip in our favorite Chevy Ship zooming through the night, with demons in sight.

*brother* What the crap

tf just happened

ok so bear with me ok im still so weirded out by what happened. so right. on with the story

i was out grocery shopping and just as i was about to re-claim the stuff i left from the baggage counter, the boys (there were 3 of ‘em) there started snickering just as i was walking up to the counter

so, being the friendly person i am (i like smiling at strangers ok), i was kinda smiling as i handed my claim number. but then i noticed they were shoving each other and whispering go on, go on til finally, one of the boys said, “are you single? youre cute” at that point my smile just dropped but apparently encouraged by my silence he went on to ask for my number too. at that point, i seriously just wanted to get out of there but they wouldnt hand me my stuff till i gave my number

at this point i was so uncomfortable and they were just honest to god leering at me; BUT THEN i felt an arm going around my shoulder and this really really cute girl just says “hey babe, whats wrong?”

AND OMG THE LOOK ON THE BOYS’ FACES WAS PRICELESS

after that they finally gave me my stuff without apologizing and the girl accompanied me until we were out of sight, keeping up with the charade. when we were out of there, she turned to me and apologized APOLOGIZED if ever she made me uncomfortable but she saw the trapped look in my face when i was facing those guys so she just wanted to help me. all i could say was, “i wasnt uncomfortable and thank you”

she winked WINKED like wtf is that? at me and left

just like that

i shit you not i thought this only happened in movies like WTF i had to pinch myself

i didnt even get her name.

i’ll drop by that grocery again.

fuck.

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Highborne Ruins - Eldre’Thalas

Sidenote: The city has been spelled with the ‘t’ in ‘thalas’ both capitalized and lowercase. The importance of one or the other is unclear, however the spelling of Eldre’Thalas where it is capitalized seems to be the official one.

One of few royal cities in Azshara’s empire, Eldre’Thalas was built during her reign twelve thousand years ago to protect Queen Azshara’s most prized arcane secrets. This ranged from processing her most important demands to the safekeeping and storage of her precious tomes. Led by Prince Tortheldrin and Azshara’s greatest revered arcanists, the House of Shen’dralar, Eldre’thalas was established by expeditionary forces in the lush jungles of Feralas.

Eldre’thalas appears to have more of a druidic and naturalistic direction than many other Highborne cities of its age. Granted, all night elf cities were shaped in concert with nature and built with dozens of gardens, however Eldre’thalas has the touch of nature magic in its very existence. In addition to many elven statues, there are figurines of deer, bears, and owls. Eldre’thalas had an Ancient protector, Tendris Warpwood, whose very heart was inexorably entwined with the fate of the city. The official art of Eldre’thalas shows wandering treants, some of which inhabit the conservatory in the eastern wing and Milicent Serene, Highborne naturalist, created the Fruit of Fertility which protected Eldre’thalas and made it flourish. Eldre’thalas may, as a result of its unique direction, have been a useful location for the combined study of arcane and natural magics even before druids existed.

Geography

Eldre’thalas is a massive, multi-tiered sprawling expanse of gardens, districts, and corridors (sometimes hidden) that connect every part of the city. There are three official districts in addition to the central colosseum. The north and western districts, the Gordok Commons (named for the ogres that now inhabit it) and Capital Gardens respectively are connected to the Athenaeum, the library that serves as the very purpose of Eldre’thalas’ existence. The eastern district, the Warpwood Quarter exits through multiple passageways, such as Lariss Pavilion which opens up well outside the boundaries of the city.

In similar fashion to other decrepit Highborne cities, some areas of Eldre’thalas have been renamed in favor of their intruders. The Gordok Commons and Warpwood Quarter were claimed by outsiders and likely no longer sport their original names (although the Warpwood Quarter may have been named for Eldre’thalas’ protector, Tendris Warpwood). The function of the northern district is unclear, but the eastern district has a conservatory, a pool (either for bathing or as a moonwell, perhaps), and the Shrine of Eldretharr. The western district, the Capital Gardens, was likely a great place for socialization. It’s dominated by a massive garden and plethora of benches which make up the Court of the Highborne.

The Athenaeum

The Athenaeum is indisputably the most valuable part of Eldre’thalas. It is the library that holds much of Queen Azshara’s tomes in addition to compendiums detailing the known history of Azeroth. It may also be a place of science, considering the Highborne armillary sphere on display. It shares its model with the Highborne Astrolabe, however it looks like an armillary sphere which is a model of the celestial globe.

All books stored in the Athenaeum are protected with the Mark of the Athenaeum which prevents any unauthorized viewings. Even if one were to break the seal, it is implied that only people with the “requisite intellect to consume the knowledge” can read the sacred books. This may just mean that it depends on the reader’s skill level and has nothing to do with one’s magical aptitude.

The books are arranged according to the Dewey Decimal System.

Eldreth

The same prefix, “Eldreth” shows up in regards to Eldre’thalas many times. Eldreth Row and the Shrine of Eldretharr are subzones of the massive city. Ghostly inhabitants are called “Eldreth Sorcerers”. It is likely some Darnassian word with an unknown meaning, however ‘thalas’ alone translates to kingdom. In the translation of Eldre’thalas, ‘Eldre’ would then be its own word, meaning that Eldreth, at least where the name of the city is concerned, does not apply.

Eldreth could be a name for the inhabitants, similar to how people who live in America are called Americans. It could simultaneously be a word used to denote things that are “Eldre’thalas” in design, like how one will refer to certain items as “American”. Eldre’thalas is inhabited by the Shen’dralar, however they are not a race so much as they are a house: the House of Shen’dralar. This may have been Prince Tortheldrin’s royal house, which would include his servants and most loyal followers. The Eldreth, in this case, would be the lower caste civilians of the city, later to be sacrificed by the Shen’dralar in order to prolong their lives after the Sundering. That would explain why any living Highborne from Eldre’thalas never call themselves Eldreth, but instead Shen’dralar.