THE ASK romanaofheartshaven JUST GOT MADE ME THINK OF THIS THING IVE THOUGHT ABT BEFORE, with the whole soulmate au where you don’t see any colour in the world until you meet your soulmate, and then when they die the colour goes away again ( mostly literally, in the doctor’s case probably also figuratively – i.e. them being gone from his life if not actually DEAD ).
I have thought about this with the doctor before ; about how many times colour would have come into his life and how many times it would have gone away. how, for instance, when Jamie’s ( and Zoe’s but mostly Jamie’s ) memories are removed at the end of the second doctor’s run it was so painful not because of the forced regeneration that came afterwards but because he saw the colour bleed out of the world the instant Jamie’s mind was erased of him. how when three realises he loves the brig but the world has been monochrome ever since the beginning of this incarnation and he knows the brigadier will never love him back. How when he regenerates into four and sees Sarah Jane for the first time in that incarnation and finally there is colour again and he realises for the first time that love is more complicated than he originally thought. I think abt nine meeting rose after the time war and he is so breath taken by so much colour after such a bleak, grey devastation that he can’t help but come back and try again even after she says no the first time.
I think abt four looking at romana when she looks like princess Astra and being so flabbergasted that she is THERE and there is COLOUR why is there colour now when there wasn’t before???? and when he realises its romana he is like “REALLY? HER?” because they were so often at odds in her last regeneration but it turns out to be true, oh so true. I think abt 11 loosing the ponds ; together they had made his world so VIBRANT and once they’re gone his world is such a dark grey that it’s nearly black. he cloisters himself away so that he never has to go through the pain of losing somebody he loves again. he thinks he’s safe in victorian london, but then comes along clara oswin oswald and she catches his attention with her sudden burst of colour, and when she dies he should be devastated at the loss but he knows now she’s out there somewhere else…… but when he meets clara prime he’s so disappointed ; everything is still grey. it’s what makes him suspicious originally, that bitterness in him, but he gets over it eventually. he’s pretty much come to terms with their relationship when he regenerates and all of a sudden she’s there again, bright and vibrant as he always knew her to be. but she doesn’t seem to see the same in him and he wonders if perhaps she doesn’t see the same– if maybe other species and gallifreyans don’t always line up, if he’s just stark and bleak to her. ( he’s not. )
I think abt his relationships with people who brighten up only certain colours ; Jo is yellow, nyssa purple, Donna reds and oranges. in some ways his world is never truly grey, but sometimes he has trouble seeing that through his grief and heartache.
IDK I JUST THINK ABT THIS A LOT AND I AM AT WORK AND WRITING IT OFF AND ON AND THERE ARE SO MANY INCONSISTENCIES AND THINGS MISSING like idk what’s going on with river and the TARDIS and basically I have to flesh this all out more but it is important to me and I wanted to write it out at last at least a bit.