Phil: NUT 🥜 😤⁉️ I love CRUNCHY NUT👏👌🍯 Stealing cereal is my pasSION 💦👨🏻🍳 I always Eat Dan’s but I don’t understand ❌ Why do we share everything except CEREAL ❓👬👨❤️👨 I’ve spent the majority of 2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣6️⃣ with someone 😪💍
if they broke up, phil would act like nothing was wrong and his life was great on social media and then dan's salty ass would be on twitter vague posting every single day like "i jus think it's funny how..."
phil: i love cereal but now i have to buy my own but im still happy
dan: it’s jsut really funny how like soemone can jus act so happy when i was the fcking one to give them cereal and water their houseplants haha that relatable feel amirite ! #allmenarehorrible #iwanttodie #fuckyouphillester
I always think of LynZ as this Goddess who’s perfect in every way and super badass but then I remember how everyone in MSI says she falls and trips all the fuckin time and runs into walls n shit and she talks to her cats and also puts ice cream sandwiches in her fuckin cereal
Hey! This might become a little drabble series if anyone is interested.
Summary: SingleDad!Herc meets the reader at their local supermarket.
The creepily smiling family stared at you from the soup can. You stared right back, then sighed.
This is just until you get through college, then you can leave (Y/N).
The intercom above scratched out a summons, and you prepared yourself for battle. But you sighed with relief when the voice was requesting a manager instead. You moved your stack of products along the aisle, and started to set out some pasta boxes before you heard a ruckus, then a shout.
“Please, Jamie, put it back. We’re not getting it.“ A tired man’s voice echoed over to you, and you paused.
“But why!?” A boy’s voice whined back.
“Because I said so. Now come on.”
“No!” A patter of feet followed this declaration, and you blinked as a small child darted towards you from around the corner. You quickly stepped into the middle of the lane and stopped him.
“Hey, hey, slow down bud. You alright?” He glanced up at you with tears and snot flowing down his face.
“No, coz’ Dad won’t let me get any Poptarts!” You nodded in mock seriousness.
“How dare he?” You reached into your work apron and pulled out a candy. “Here, it might not be a Poptart, but it’ll do.” The boy, Jamie, reached up and took it from your hand.
“Thank you, lady!” He beamed up at you, then scampered off. You chuckled, then got back to work.
A few days later, you were putting milk into one of the fridges when a little face peeked through the cartons.
“Hi, pasta lady!” Jamie greeted, and shoved his face into a small gap. “Whatca doing?”
“Nothing much, just putting these away.” You showed him a carton.
“Oh, you’re putting away cow juice? I love it! Especially with cereal. Do you know tha-”
“Jamie!” His father’s voice cut him off.
“Oh, I have to go. It was nice seeing you again, Pasta Lady!” Jamie waved, and ran to catch back up with his father. You shut the door, and wondered just for a second what his father actually looked like.
“Thank you, please come again!” The man walked away with 10 packs of Mountain Dew and 8 bags of Doritos, and you worried for his health.
“Miss Pasta Lady!” Jamie’s voice crashed through your train of thought like, well, a train.
“Hello, how are you doing buddy?” You leaned over the cash register to smile at the boy.
“See, dad, this is the lady!” He tugged at his dad’s pant leg. His dad laughed, and ruffed Jamie’s hair.
“This is the person you keep talking about?” He finally raised his eyes to meet yours and froze.
“Hello, sir, your son didn’t do anything wrong, I promise.” The man tried to sputter out a response, but came up blank. Jamie stepped up to the plate, however.
“My dad thinks you’re cute!” You blinked as a blush overtook your face.
“Oh really?” You wiggled your eyebrows at Jamie. “I think your dad is cute too.”
The man, who you thought may have died, spoke up.
“I’m Hercules, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise.” You threw him a small smile. “Now may I help you with those bags?”
Herc walked out of the store with Jamie’s little hand in his.
“She was nice dad. Are you gonna kiss her?”
“I don’t know, kiddo.” But Herc clutched the receipt you had given him, which might’ve had your number on the back. “But I’ll certainly try.”
Inspired by Dean’s and Heize’s “And July” MV. Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS INTELLIGENT LITTLE FLUFFBALL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN SUGA!
P.s - The ending isn’t that great but I hope you have fun reading this.
You weren’t a fan of pranks. The whole of concept of pranking didn’t sit well with you. Yeah it was fun watching people trick each other but you never wanted to be involved in such antics, and luckily Yoongi thought the same too. But you never understood why the two of you got dragged into a legitimate prank war and were so entangled in it that neither of you backed down.
It was a just another normal, busy day for the boys and yourself. Being their manager, you were running around the waiting room rechecking everything while Jungkook, Jin and Namjoon got their makeup done. Taehyung and Jimin were goofing around like they usually did and Yoongi and Hoseok caught up on their much needed sleep.
What poor Jimin didn’t realise that the water fight he was having with Taehyung had woken Yoongi up. The even more unfortunate Tae slipped on the water and fell on the floor; the bottle from his hand flew and landed on Yoongi’s lap, drenching his hair, face and shirt in the process.
Time froze temporarily for the three of them. Jimin hurriedly pulled Taehyung to his feet as the two of them stared at the scene before them in shock. Yoongi, now fully awake, turned his face to look at the boys with a surprisingly calm expression. But the maknaes knew better. They knew their hyung way too well to be familiar with that calm facade. Taehyung gulped and opened his mouth to defend himself. Yoongi shut his eyes in annoyance, huffed and raised his finger to shush the child.
Just then you ran into then room, phone in a hand and a water bottle in the other. Jimin, on noticing your presence, whispered something in Tae’s ear at which both snickered evilly.
“Who was the cause of this?” Yoongi asked, his demeanour eerily calm.
“NOONA!” Jimin and Taehyung yelled simultaneously, pointing at your disoriented self.
“Jagi?” Yoongi said, looking at you in shock.
“W-What? Yah don’t be believe these kids,” you exclaimed, glaring at the mischievous boys. When you didn’t get in reply from your significant other except for a death glare, you knew he fell for the trick.
“Don’t tell me you believe them Yoongi-yah!” you scoffed disbelievingly.
“I’m not saying anything Jagi but all i can tell you is,” he paused as he stood up, walked to you, pulled you by the waist and whispered in your ear, “better watch your back.”
You were way too disoriented to even stutter a word. Partly because your boyfriend who usually wouldn’t fall for such tricks, actually believed these kids and the other reason being, even after three years for dating this boy, being in such close proximity left you feeling breathless.
You turned to Taehyung and Jimin and whacked both of their heads before walking away, muttering to yourself about how it was time that the Bangtan members would grow up.
You should’ve listened to Yoongi. You should’ve taken his warning seriously. But it was too late. You had already taken a spoonful of the salty cereal. You paused as your eyes widened the slightest but noticing the satisfied smirk on Yoongi’s face, you let your lips stretch into an uneasy smile, trying to hide your distaste.
“It tastes wonderful Jagiya. So much love in the morning, eesh I’m not used to all of this,” you said, plastering a fake smile on your face as you tried to consume the rather brackish cereal.
“I’m glad you liked it so much. I don’t mind doing this daily, just for you,” Yoongi smirked, a smug look on his face.
“Just wait baby, I’m getting your Jordans next,” you whispered through a mouthful of your breakfast and feigned happiness.
“Sorry I didn’t quite catch that,” your partner asked.
“Nothing babe, just thanking the heavens above,” you paused, looking at the ceiling to prove your point and turned to the boy in front of you, “for such an amazing and thoughtful boyfriend.” You lips slipped into yet another sickly sweet smile.
You bit your tongue trying to stifle your laughter when you heard Yoongi yell frustratedly from his room.
“What did you do Noona?” Hoseok asked, “he’s been screaming and cursing like this for thirty minutes now.”
“Nothing serious Hobi,” you said feigning innocence, “I might’ve put glue in his shoes.”
Hoseok gasped in surprise. “Noona you know how much he loves those shoes right?” he said, genuinely worried about you now.
“You’re making me feel guilty now Hobi,” you frowned but then remembered about your ruined breakfast, “but he knows how much I love my cereal. He called this on himself.”
“Y/N-AH COME HERE NOW!” Yoongi yelled from his room, his voice resonating throughout the dorm.
Hoseok and yourself cringed at the his annoyed voice but you made no movement to go and see your struggling partner. Instead you curled against the pillows of the couch and looked pleadingly at Hoseok.
He simply shrugged and pulled you to your feet. “I can’t help you Noona. Go see what he wants or else he’s going to get even more angry.”
After that you were either treated like a ghost or teased horribly by Yoongi. For two weeks that too. No kisses, no cuddles, and lord have mercy, no hugs. But you were already planning your revenge.
It was a few weeks later. They were in Daegu for a showcase and with just an hour left for Yoongi’s birthday, you had planned something that would help you get back at him for those weeks of torture and well, something equally sweet.
With the help of the other boys, you had set up everything. You had kept five alarm clocks, all under Yoongi’s bed, set to ring at midnight.
Sure enough, five minutes after twelve, sleepy and a very displeased looking Yoongi barged into your room. His annoyed expression melted into a small smile when Namjoon and the other members rushed to him with a cake as you and Hoseok started singing “SOPE-ME”.
You could see Yoongi visibly cringe at your voice but he laughed nevertheless. After your short and unharmonious performance, you let everyone wish Yoongi personally.
You watched from the back, as the boys took turns to wish him but Yoongi’s eyes never left yours for way too long. When it was your turn, you lightly pecked him on the cheek and hugged him.
“That was so disgusting but I really liked it. Thank you so much jagi,” he whispered. You could feel the sincerity and love from his voice which made you smile. “But babe I think you should stick to mild rapping at home.”
You laughed- hugging him even more tightly- and whispered,
i always tell people my favorite quote is “keep your bad vibes out of my cornflakes, i’m not interested” bc thats the only thing i think of, but i think my favorite quote is honestly patrick stump’s tweet “if you are what you eat then i’m mostly cereal”