I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.
deanna: *talking to michonne* find out what you want. perhaps a man. a man with a heavy southern accent. a man who has some children who love u. maybe his name starts with an R idk. maybe he used to have a sexy beard i mean who knows
Someone just reblogged one of my posts with the tag “Roomba lady.”
Someday, I will be “Crazy Roomba Lady,” like a crazy cat lady, except with tiny not-too-bright robot vacuum cleaners and it’s all the same because I’ll be stepping on my pets and everyone will be coughing up hairballs anyway.
Someday I will be “Crazy Roomba Lady” and the fact that I made this post means that day is now.
oh man ALSO from the LAN party- this little Steam notification got stuck on my desktop so that even when I hid the main Steam window it was still on my screen, and of all the places it could have gotten stuck at it was oN TOP OF MIKE’S FACE AND IT’S JUST
im sitting in economics class and we are talking about the FICA Tax and my italian friend starts laughing and the whole class starts staring at her and then she stops for a second and says “in italian fica means vagina”
[Lip injures himself trying to get away from Karen’s house after Ian & Lip get caught getting blowjobs from Karen by her father] *someone knocks on the door* Lip: Oh shit! I’m not here! I’m not here! Ian: You don’t know us Fiona! Fiona: What. Have. You. Done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!