I-knew-I-would-regret-this

  • Aries:When I first saw you, I knew you were the most beautiful being I would ever lay eyes on. Your laugh is contagious and I can't help but feel like I'm flying when I'm with you. Never change.
  • Taurus:You are a rock for me to stand on when I can't do it on my own. You are the most patient person I have ever known, and more forgiving than I thought possible. Growing up under your care was a blessing.
  • Gemini:I trusted you, and you ruined me. One day you will think of me and regret every time you pushed me down. One day you will see that I am more than you ever expected me to be, and my life will have more meaning than you gave me.
  • Cancer:Your voice was like music and you touched me with a gentle hand and soft words. I thought you were my cure, the medicine that would make me feel alive again; but with your poison running through my veins I can tell you now that I have never felt so much pain. It's been 3 years but I still wince at the sound of your name.
  • Leo:You showed me what love looks like and I will never forget the kindness with which you treated me. Sometimes I can still taste you on my lips and I wish you knew that I still think of you.
  • Virgo:I have yet to meet a Virgo who will have an impact on my life.
  • Libra:My feelings toward you are those of envy, I admit that I resent you. You had the approval that I have sought for 18 years and I fail to understand why you are good enough, while I am not.
  • Scorpio:It's been a while, but I still think about how we used to be. Although I have been stung by your words, I remember the laughter we shared and the all the times you were there when I needed someone.
  • Sagittarius:You save me daily and for that I can never show enough gratitude. My heart swells when you say my name, and you say it so beautifully. When I look at you, everything feels alright, and I know I'm safe. You are the most gentle person to have ever touched my skin; I hope you never let me go.
  • Capricorn:You came into my life at a time where I needed you the most. We all needed you, and suddenly you were there. It was unexpected but welcomed, and you continue to make life bearable for me. When you're around, thoughts tumble from my lips; thoughts I didn't even realise were relevant to me. Your support means the world to me, so thank you.
  • Aquarius:You are one of the strongest people I have had the privilege to know. You pulled yourself up from a dark place, and I admire you so much for that, and I wish I shared your strength. We are not often sincere with each other - it's easy to joke about our pain when you don't want to feel it. But I remember when we drank our sorrows and laid under the stars in the middle of the road, and you gave me guidance and hope. I may not say it, but you are so incredibly important to me.
  • Pisces:You took on responsibilities that should have never been asked of you, and you never complained in the slightest. When you're hurting, you put on a mask, so carefully constructed; but you can't cover the way your voice shakes, and I know you too well. You deserve the wonders of the universe, and one day you will have your own galaxy, I promise you
Steroline Fanfic | Drunk Confessions

Anonymous said: Stefan leaving drunk confessions on Caroline’s voicemail

Stefan knew that when he woke up the next morning, he would regret it as he had regretted it every day since he had begun to leave her voice messages, but he could not help it.

At first, the first days, the messages were normal, simple, direct.

Hey, it’s me again. You okay? Everything’s normal here, I guess. Will you be back soon? I miss you, we all do. Call me please.

Now, things had changed, because Stefan had expected that she would be away three days, not two weeks.

It was the same routine every day. He woke up, spent the day doing trivial things, and got drunk in the library every night. Damon did not even stop him, because when he had tried, Stefan had pushed him against the shelf of books, laughing like crazy. So, he decided to leave him a few days.

Stefan took the bottle from the floor and lay on the couch, taking a long sip. Then he let it back on the ground and laughed bitterly, remembering the day that Caroline had been fixing the teddy bear in that same couch.

He reached out to take his phone and found it under his pillow. He looked for her contact, stopped 10 seconds to contemplate her photo, and pressed the call button. Of course, she would not answer.

Hey, it’s me. Do you remember the day you found me drunk at the party and I had no memories? Do you remember that I said you were much hotter in person? I meant it. If you knew all the pictures I had studied. I have them now kept in my drawer –Stefan chuckled, as if that was the most fun in the world.- Why are you so hot, Caroline? That doesn’t help and…

The time for the message was cut and Stefan grunted. He dialed her number to leave her another message.

It’s me again. Do you remember that dance and when you forced me to dress like James Dean? Don’t tell anyone but I asked you to dance because I had a crush on you and I couldn’t bear to see you with Tyler. I couldn’t understand why someone like you could be with someone like him, you know? I didn’t even feel guilty for wanting to kiss you –Stefan laughed again and time ended.

“Stupid phone.”

Stefan dialed her number.

Hello, your beloved Stefan here again. Do you remember when Tyler learnt about Klaus? You don’t know how much I enjoyed punching his face. But if I’m honest, I also felt a little jealous, you know? I didn’t understand what was happening, I couldn’t understand why sometimes I thought of you as more than my best friend and… I dunno, I also got crazy when you left with Enzo to find Tom.

Another message.

You remember the night of the travelers? In the car? God, Caroline, you don’t know how much I wanted to kiss you. Your blond curls, your freckles, your red nose and lips because of the cold were driving me crazy.

Another.

What about the night in the cabin? You wanna know why I stroked your cheek? It was a stupid excuse to touch you, because I was dying to do it, and I think I finally started to understand why everyone falls crazy for you. It’s inevitable, you’re you, you know? Why are you so perfect? It’s annoying.

Another.

When you and Enzo found me, I froze. I didn’t know what to do, how to act. Everything I had push away returned because of you when you showed up. See? You’re able to see through me and that scares me, Caroline. It scares me and I like it.

Another.

I have to confess another secret. The day I went to ask you for help with Ivy… The towel, that stupid towel is stuck in my mind. That day I tried not to think about it, I was too angry, you know, acting like a dick. But I wish I had removed the towel, I wish I’d have kissed you, I wish we’d have left Ivy in that trunk.

Another.

The day we looked for Enzo and fought in the woods, I wanted to kiss you. It’s funny, because you were driving me crazy with your words. And I just wanted to taste your lips! What were you doing to me?

Another.

I wish I had kissed you in the hospital, I wish I had kissed you at Thanksgiving, I wish I had kissed you in front of your door when we came back from Duke, I wish I had kissed you at the florist, I wish I had kissed you in the woods when we found Ms Cuddles.

Another.

You know how the kiss in the cabin tasted? Like you. You, Caroline, had me wrapped around your little finger and I wasn’t even aware.

Another.

I wish I had said what I really felt at the funeral. I wish… I had stopped everything.

Another.

Is it normal that I wanted to kill Liam? Because I really did. Every time I imagined that you were kissing him instead of me…

Another.

You know, it wasn’t like I had wanted. But when I tasted you for the first time, Caroline… God, when I tasted every part of your body… There’s nothing sweeter. I miss your skin, I miss the warmth of your body against mine.

And finally the last one.

We have to fix this, you have to give me a chance to tell you how I feel, Caroline. Come back, please.

i want you to know 
that it might have been easy to forget
but i want you to know
that i did regret

all those nights i spent
my teenage years in front of a writing pad
all i did was
to pen down the color of your eyes

the color of your eyes
are my warmest nights 
and my happiest days
it’s my favorite color

i knew you would not take the fall
that’s why i hid behind a pair of eyes
that knew you 
but would never talk to you 

i knew only a few things
that you loved her 
and you wrote about her
but she never felt the same

i don’t know whether you got over it
people say you’re married now
so i guess so  
but i wonder

i wonder if you know the color of her eyes
the feeling to go to bed 
and know 
the one that you loved got away

i only knew a few things
but at 18 
it doesn’t take much to fall in love
i think you know that

but i hope
you’re happy
please be happy
with all you’ve got

you might think that love is a game
and you won 
when you walked down the aisle
but i know the nights speak otherwise

you would ask me 
how i knew this 
how i knew you still loved her 
i have lived the nights too 

just know 
that you are loved 
and maybe you will never forget
but all bruises are lessons 

and there are lessons 
that make you 
and break you
but you’re still here 

i just want you to know 
that all i hope for 
is you have peace 
when you close your eyes

and now i go to sleep knowing
you’re trying 
and for me
that’s all that matters

—  k, letters she wrote part 3.
It’s not okay that you hurt me, but I am okay. I deserve more, and I know that now. And maybe you knew that inside, that you couldn’t give me that yet. So you set me free. We would’ve been so great, you would never have wished for more than I would’ve given you. But you never gave it a chance. So now you’ll never know what could’ve been. Maybe someday you’ll regret it, maybe someday you’ll think it was the best decision you ever made, but maybe someday you’ll see me walking, smiling and happy, alongside someone who’s also smiling and happy because he has my heart. Maybe then you’ll stop and realize what you’re missing, because someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go.
There is this period of John which is all pre-Beatles, pre-huge fame, pre-drugs – and it is another John completely – that was always there right until the end. He got much sweeter, too, once he settled in New York. Once he was reunited with Yoko, and they had Sean, he became this sweet personalty again then when he was more comfortable with himself. But the acerbic John is the one we know and love, you know, because he was clever with it, so it was very attractive. But, for me, I have more than a slight affection for the John that I knew then, when we were first writing songs, when we would try and do things the old songwriters had done. I slightly regret the way John’s image has formed, and because he died so tragically it has become set in concrete. The acerbic side was there but it was only part of him. He was also such a sweet, lovely man – a really sweet guy.
—  Paul McCartney, The Independent, 23 November 2012

“If I were to be completely honest with you, I’d say that I’ve kicked myself a thousand times for not appreciating the time when I could call you mine. I would have to admit that I think I am the biggest moron on this planet for not treating you the way I should have when you were in my life. When I think about us and the things I did I regret 80% of my actions. Looking back now, I think I knew I was hurting you and that I was making you sad but I was too selfish to care.

When I look back, I see all the things I did wrong. My biggest mistake was giving more of my attention to the other females in my life than I did to you and though you never complained I knew it killed you. Though there was never anything romantic and they were just friendships to me; I should have made time for you rather than watching you wait for me; never complaining but I knew it hurt you. Or at least now, in retrospect I can see that it’s possible that it would have but you never complained, you never allowed me to see you sad or upset.

I still don’t understand how you were to patient with me and my BS. Another woman would have yelled at me or dumped me instantly. I am 100% certain of this, you know I had dated a lot before you perhaps more women than I can count so I know what I’m talking about so it baffles me that you handled everything I threw at you with grace and such courage and strength. You are five years younger than I am yet I feel as if you are five years older than I am. Anyone else your age or even a couple years older would have never been able to deal with it the way you did.

Some days I am still haunted by our last conversation. By the "final breakup” I will never forget telling you about her and I expected you to swear at me, I expected you to yell at me or fight with me or even fight with her. I expected you to be angry at me or to tell me that you hated me after all; I broke your heart on your birthday. I expected something big, something dramatic but what you did, will forever haunt me. I will never forget your last words “If she makes you happy, and if she’s the one you want then I think you should be with her.” Then I told you I was about to go out with her and all you said to me was “Okay, have fun.” And like an ass I left you sitting there on the one day I should have made you happy and I ran off with a random person, someone who I should have never allowed to separate us.

I remember trying to get you to fight with me after that, to have you insult me or swear at me or tell me you hated me, anything really so that it would ease my guilt a little but you never did. I think that’s when I began to realize I may have made a mistake but when I decided to come back for you, it was too late. I wish I had come back sooner, I wish I came to you sooner but for your sake I know now that it was all for the best. You were right- turning me down when I came back to you.

When I look at you now, your eyes light up when you talk about him and your voice changes. He makes you happy. He makes you happier than I’ve ever seen you in all the years I’ve known you. Even when you talk about him in his absence, honestly.. it breaks my heart to say it but even his absence makes you happier than my presence ever made you. I’ve seen you love before me and I’ve seen you love me and now I’m seeing you love after me and of all the times; this is the first time I’ve seen you happy. The other times, you loved us because we needed you, you loved us because no one else would but this time.. this time.. you love him simply because you want to love him and because he makes you happy.

For your sake, I want this to work. For your sake, I hope this one lasts because I know you believe in forever and even though I never believed in it.. I would go back and have you as my forever if I could. I’m happy to see you writing again, I know you stopped writing with me and that was my fault so I’m happy to see that he pushes you to follow your passions. I know there can never be anything between us ever again and I’m okay with that as long as you remain as happy as you are now. I’m thankful that you found him and you know I'm antagonistic but for you I’ll pray  for the first and last time in my life I’ll pray to a God that I probably don’t believe in. I’ll pray that this time you get your happy ending. You deserve it after putting up with my and my nonsense for all these years.“

— 

- A conversation I had with someone who once held my heart.

~Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #209

04/23/2015

9:15 pm 

josephfuckingmorgan replied to your post: what’s this rating thing you’re doing? the URL/ICON/THEME

you’re def going to be rating blogs for the next century.

I know omg I still have like ten and they just keep on coming

FOR OVER A CENTURY I’VE BEEN RATING BLOGS.
…sorry that was just necessary. it’s what popped into my head when you said century~ 

showmethataobooty asked:

(Shattering time) "Mink..." Aoba frowned. "I have cancer and I understand if you don't want to be with me... I wouldn't either." His face had been gaunt for days his body pale and thinner then normal. Mink convinced him to see a doctor and now he regrets going. He didn't want to hurt Mink but he knew he had to tell him.

“Aoba….” Mink said his name after he finished speaking. He felt his entire world shatter around him. His precious Aoba… The person who told him to continue living… The one he would make his second journey with.. Was probably going to die. “Of course I won’t leave Aoba…” Mink hugged his lover close, making sure he was gentle on his now fragile-looking body. “We’ve been too much for me to leave… I’ll stay with you, even if you’re in the hospital.” He reassured him, burying his face into his hair. “W-what cancer is it…?” He asked, trying to hold in the tears that threatened to fall down his face.