I-killed-the-girl

Putting Lipstick On A Pig

by reddit user Pippinacious

Except for the whole murder thing, Courtney James seemed like a lovely young woman. She was bright, articulate, a dedicated college student and well liked waitress at a popular restaurant.

I met her when she was sitting in an interrogation room at the precinct. She was a bit on the larger side, dressed conservatively in pastel colors and minimal makeup, and when I came in, she introduced herself with a polite smile, as if we were meeting for a job interview as opposed to a police investigation. She had declined to have an attorney present, so I got right to business.

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“i’d die for her. i love her so much. i don’t know what i would do without her. she’s going through a lot right now. i wish i could just kiss away the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! if she, you know, i don’t know what i would do. i’d kill myself. i love that girl. i love her. i love her almost more than i love myself” - Johnny Depp on Winona Ryder (1989)

KAI PARKER X READER


Broken

Desc: Can you do a Kai imagine where he meets a girl who has the same past as him (except the whole killing family thing was in self defense) & well shy and quiet she seems to be the only one who sees something in him & stands up for him & laughs at all his jokes & he doesn’t understand why he loves bringing her out of her shell & seeing her laugh at his dorky jokes & basically a imagine where they, two people who have been scorned by love, fall in love & learn to understand it ❤

gif not mine

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She ran into him by accident. It was around two in the morning, and the stars dotted the black canvas in the sky like sprinkles of golden fairy dust. It was cool out, the gentle breeze just enough to bring goosebumps to her skin, and it smelt of the fresh pine trees of the forest she was running through. Her hair was pulled atop her head in a loose and messy knot, oversized sweater hanging over her palms, her eyes hooded and lips chapped. The girl’s battered combat boots smacked against the leaf strewn ground, her breath heavy, leather bag dangling off her shoulder as she sprinted like her life depended on it. 

“Aghh!”

The girl slammed face first into something, her hands coming up to massage her face as she groaned out in pain. She inhaled a raspy breath, blinking around in bewilderment when she realized there was nobody and nothing there.

“Hello?” she uttered into the desolate forest.

“Hi.”

The voice was almost inaudible, so faint and nervous she almost missed it. It seemed to come from directly in front of her, and yet when she stared in the direction of the voice, all she saw was the dark outline of a faded oak. Suddenly, a boy melted from the shadows, literally seeping out in human form. He was tall and lanky, with ruffled brown hair and shining blue eyes that were filled with hurt. The moonlight cast shadows across his sculpted facial curves, full lips, and faint stubble. He’d been cloaking himself with an invisibility charm, smart.

“You have magic,” the girl stated in disbelief, tilting her head and looking the boy over with curiosity.

“And that doesn’t scare you?” his voice rumbled low.

She narrowed her eyes, “no.”

The girl raised a hand towards the boy, and a golden wisp of light erupted from her pale fingertips and engulfed the two in an orb of glimmering light so they could see only each other in the folds of the dark night. The boy stared at the girl in awe, his mouth hanging open a little. He looked her over, impressed.

“You too,” he breathed.

“Me too,” she responded, feeling suddenly shy when he looked her over with those startlingly blue eyes.

“And what are you doing running through the forest in the middle of the night?” he asked, brow arched.

“I could ask you the same,” she says, folding her arms over each other.

“No, really,” he asks sincerely.

“You wouldn’t get it,” she clenches her jaw, and he picks up on the little pulse and crinkle in her eyebrows.

“I might just,” he whispers, his eyes flickering back and forth between hers.

She twirls a long curl of hair around her fingertips, eyes planted to the brown soil, heart sinking. The memories pain her to think about, and when she does, the golden orb around them falters momentarily. 

“I’m running,” she admits with a heavy sigh.

“From?”

“My family,” she swallows hard at the lump in her throat, eyes coming back to the boy’s. He doesn’t seem phased at all, but he frowns when he sees her looking so fragile and hurt.

“Anyways,” she shakes her head, snapping out of her trance. “I can’t keep up too long or they’ll find me. So…goodbye, stranger.”

She moves to sidestep the boy, but he grabs at her wrist, shaking his head, “Kai.”

“Kai?” she breathes.

“My name,” his lips twitch faintly.

Her body relaxes, maybe she can stay another minute.

“Well, it’s actually Malachai,” he stumbles softly. “Malachai Parker.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” she says bashfully.

Kai scoffs, “yeah, right.”

“I mean it,” she smiles sympathetically, seeing the look of disgust he has for his own name.

Kai chews his rosy lower lip in disbelief, thinking she’s joking at first, but her facial expression holds still. A breeze swoops gently over them, and he catches a whiff of her sugary perfume, it’s intoxicating, and he wants to move closer to her but he doesn’t.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, letting go of the knit sweater he clung to.

She tells him her name, and asks what he could be doing at such an early hour.

“Running,” he mimics her.

He sees her facial expressions soften, lips bending downwards and eyes saddening. She’s so precious and delicate, nothing like himself.

“From your family?” she whispers, taking a step closer to him.

He couldn’t bear to drag such a fragile girl into his messy life, so he decided to scare her off now rather than later, since lying would only hurt her. And he didn’t want to see her more hurt than she clearly was already. Something about her…he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he only knew she didn’t deserve to be with a disaster like himself.

“No,” he said icily, stiffening his back. “I killed them all.”

The girl froze, heart hammering, instinctively taking a step back.

Good, she was scared. 

“Why?” her voice trembles.

“Because I’m the black sheep,” he laughs bitterly. “I was an outcast in my family my entire life, the broken one, the ‘faulty gemini’. My sister Jo was the perfect one, oh, everyone loved Jo. But not me. No, I was isolated from my own family,” he spits with anger. “I bet it was really nice to stand around and judge me, while they got everything out of life.”

“Why?” she asks again, sounding more curious than frightened now.

Kai cuts her off and draws closer to her, “you should go,” he growls.

“Tell me,” she demands, standing her ground despite every part of her body urging her to run.

She was clearly terrified, but was stubborn enough to try and hide it.

“What makes you think I won’t hurt you?” he says with dark eyes.

“Because I know what it feels like,” she snaps, her face inches from his malicious one.

That expression on his face melted off like ice, and he steps back, “what?”

“Show me,” she responds nervously.

“Show you?” he questions, unable to hold the facade.

He hated the feeling of control the girl seemed to hold over him. Why wasn’t she running yet? Everyone else would have…

“Show me your ability,” she demands quietly, rolling up her lavender sweater and shoving her wrists out to the boy.

“H-how did you know?”

“We’re not so different, you and I,” she says, “just…do it.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he admits with a shake of his head. Funny how quickly he switched from selfish and psychotic to caring and compassionate.

“Kai,” she begs.

He takes a rattled breath, his hands clammy as he approaches the defiant girl. He can feel energy radiating from her bloodstream, and he wants it, needs it, like a drug. She doesn’t look afraid as his slender fingers lock lightly on her wrists, the cool rings that decorated his fingers pressing into her skin. Her beautiful eyes hold to his own, and he keeps them locked to hers as the orange glow burns into her flesh. Her magic oozes into his bloodstream, but it’s different than usual, stronger, he thinks. His mouth tips open as he groans from the feeling he’s missed so much, her energy diffusing throughout his body, and he can’t help but close his eyes from the pleasure. Any second now she should be gasping out for him to stop, crumpling from the pain of his siphoning, but she doesn’t. Then he drops her wrists, snapping back to reality, feeling more alive than he has in ages.

“Why didn’t that hurt you?” he breathes, still on a magic high.

“I don’t run out,” she responds flatly.

“How is that not a gift?!” Kai gasps.

“Because when I have so much it makes me overwhelmed, and I- I can’t control it. My emotions tip even just a little, and my magic comes spilling out of me. The rest of my family thought they could just fix me, because I was some sort of threat to out coven. A-and sometimes I only wanted to help, but it makes me do bad things…hurt people,” she mutters, eyes to the floor. “It’s darker magic, watch.”

The girl stoops low to the ground, where a small pink flower blossoms innocently from the ground. She brushes her fingers to the soft petals, and Kai watches as the plant dissolves into black ash under her finger pads.

“My mom came after me one day,” she shudders, “I didn’t mean to, I was just trying to protect myself.” Her wrist quickly swiped away a falling tear, and she cleared her throat, pretending it was all alright.

He wanted nothing more than to wrap that girl in his arms that instant.

“You don’t scare me, Malachai Parker,” she stands, her body alarmingly close to his.

Nobody ever called him by his full name, this was new.

“You’re not as twisted as me,” he denies. “I’m bad news, a psycho, or sociopath, if you will.”

He runs a hand through his chestnut locks, overwhelmed by the closeness of the girl.

“Stop trying to scare me,” she says. “You’re not like that.”

“And how would you know?”

“You’re not bad, you’re just…broken. I know that feeling.”

Her eyes reflect the golden sparkles around them, hair cascading across her perfect face. Her ability to care confused him.

Kai scoops down to the ground, touching the pile of ashes where the flower was moments ago. His eyes close as he uses his siphoned magic to revive the flower, and soon he’s plucked the rosy thing from the ground and is facing this girl again. She looks at the flower with admiration, the faintest of smiles on her little lips. Kai picks off the stem, and brushes back the girls hair affectionately, sliding the pink flower into the crook of her ear; it suits her wonderfully. Her cheeks blush noticeably, and she chews nervously at her lower lip. He can’t help but trail his fingers across her perfect skin, surprised that she didn’t pull away; nobody ever let Kai touch them. He liked that feeling a lot.

“Look at us,” he says, “two broken pieces.”

“Maybe two broken pieces make a whole one,” she laughs suddenly.

He loved that tinkling bell-like laugh so much, he wanted to hear it again and again.

“You know you’re like, really pretty,” Kai blurts without thinking.

She smiles a radiant smile up at him, “don’t tell me Malachai Parker is actually feeling,” she jokes.

He shoves her playfully, but grabs each of her arms afterwards so that she’ll stay close to him. When he pulls her back, her chest goes thudding against his, and she instantly resumes her nervous stance.

“Hey,” he says, his fingers crawling under her chin and lifting it up so their eyes meet. “You have too much power contain, and I don’t have any at all, maybe if we work together we could balance each other’s faults, you know?”

“Work together?” she blinks up at him. “Not, alone?”

He bends over her, the electric currents of her skin against his driving him crazy with longing. Her lips were so close, begging for his.

“Not alone,” he breathes.

“ I’d die for her. I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s going through a lot right now. I wish I could just kiss away the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! If she, you know, *gets teary eyed*, I don’t know what I would do. I’d kill myself. I love that girl. I love her. I love her almost more than I love myself”
- Johnny Depp on Winona Ryder (1989)

***

“When I met Johnny, I was pure virgin. He changed that. He was my first everything. My first real. My first real boyfriend. My first fiancé. The first guy I had sex with. So he will always be in my heart. Forever.”
-Winona Ryder on Johnny Depp

Onibi Series: Recap

A while back, I answered a question for tumblr user @outerkat that gave an explanation of known information about the characters of the Onibi Series. That information is now outdated, so it’s time for an update!  (As usual, this post was made with the help of @shishikusas​. Bless her heart this fandom would get absolutely nowhere without her.)

This is what we know as of mid-2017.

The canon order of the songs is still:

1. The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion

2. The Fox’s Wedding

3. The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance

4. Demon Child in the Clear Mirror (at the same time as #3, in a different location)

5. Beheading Dance

6. Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku

7. Will-O-The-Wisp

8. Star Lily Dance Performance Capital

Time for characters!

Mai Shishikusa

She has two designs. The green-haired one with the bow was how she was first drawn, and its only purpose was to make her recognizable as Gumi. Her canon appearance is the one with long brown hair. 

Mai is a member of the esteemed Shishikusa clan, and after being mistreated by some men when she was very young, she ate them and left one of their heads at the scene. She later devours her own mother, Ryou, during her (Mai’s) birthday party. Delectably morbid.

In The Fox’s Wedding, she is kidnapped by Akari’s brother (we call him Takahiro but he doesn’t have a canon name). She is forcibly fed human flesh (which probably made her cannibalistic tendencies permanent), and it’s likely that she may have been molested at this time, too.

In The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance, Mai goes crazy and begins to devour more and more people.

She is seen as a doll in Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku. Also, Masa has confirmed that Mai and Akari are the characters seen in Beheading Dance.

Star Lily Dance Performance is a dream, a figment of Mai’s imagination. She dreams of a place where she and Akari can be happy together, to comfort herself before she dies.

Akari Oborodzuka 

Her name has been occasionally translated as Zhu Li. Like Mai, she also has two designs. She is the character with red or white pigtails, and her canon design gives her short white hair. I believe that she is, symbolically, the “Kitsune” mentioned throughout the series.

Akari is a member of the Oborodzuka Clan, and is the sole member that is not physically disabled somehow. She endured abuse from her family because of this, and eventually gained the power to make other people hurt themselves.

She imprisoned a violent and evil character named Tsukuyomi inside of an altar in the basement of her home, and I’m fairly certain that this altar is what was commonly being referred to with that recurring line, “Open it?” Tsukuyomi was actually the founder of the Oborodzuka clan, if I’m not mistaken, and is freed centuries later in another Masa series known as Maha’s Story.

In The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion, Ryou Shishikusa kidnaps her and tortures her until she dies. At the end of the song, Akari curses her family, saying that this “strange habit of eating people” must be continued for a hundred generations or something like that. This seals Ryou’s fate, and Ryou is later eaten by her daughter Mai as part of this curse.

In The Fox’s Wedding, Akari is alive again. She isn’t involved in Mai’s kidnapping, but I think the two of them might have been secretly married at this time.

Akari is also seen in The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance and Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku, but I’m not certain what her purpose is in these two.

Whether or not she is actually there or only being dreamt of in Star Lily Dance Performance is debatable, but the former is the more comforting option. ;w;

Shikyou the Amanojaku

Shikyou is the Antagonist of the Onibi Series. Her name was only learned recently. This is the Amanojaku mentioned in (you guessed it) Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku.

Shikyou is somehow controlling Mai’s fate. Masa said that Mai and Akari were “doomed never to meet.” It’s incredibly likely that Shikyou was behind this, which would explain why she screams and appears to be very distraught in The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance. If those two hadn’t met, many lives would have been spared from Mai’s cannibalistic tendencies.

Because it was likely a character named Emi that helped Akari and Mai meet each other in person, Shikyou and Emi are enemies.

What confuses me is that even though she seems to be trying to protect the people of Castle Town and must therefore care about humanity, something on Masa’s blog also says that at some point in history, she went on some kinda killing spree? Shikyou’s motives are questionable, to say the least.

Emi

For a while we thought that she was the purple-robed Gumi, but that turned out to be Ryou. The lovely @shishikusas talked to Masa, though, and helped clear it up! Emi is the Miku seen in Onibi, but she was given an original appearance in the video for the remix of The Fox’s Wedding!

Emi is, symbolically, the “Doll” mentioned throughout the series. Her ancestors were evil gods, and thus, everyone came to hate her. She bears a grudge against these people, but tries to ignore their feelings at the same time.

She appears ONLY in the song Onibi, and is not to be confused with the other blue Miku character, Kaori.   

All we know other than that is that Masa described her as one of the story’s “Main Heroes.” I think that she’s behind Mai and Akari being able to meet.

Ryou Shishikusa

HOO BOY where do we start with this crazy bitch. Here’s what my dear fact checker had to say about her:

Ryo Shishikusa is Mai’s mother, born into the Onidzuka clan but marrying into the Shishikusa clan through daimyo Tomonari Shishikusa. She has one sister, unnamed, who had a daughter after multiple miscarriages (this daughter is Kaori, the one referred to as the “demon child”). She has a tattoo of a spider on her waist and uses a special knife called “Devil’s Blade” to kill people.

She and Tomonari run a theater in Castle Town (Namitsuki). A lot of Castle Town’s entertainment comes from here. One thing that happens below the theatre is gambling, which Ryo and her husband do with human beings. Evidently, the clans of Castle Town take part in illegal human trafficking of young girls, keeping them under the theater and treating them like animals. 

One day, Tomonari comes to Ryo and says that the other daimyos are becoming bored with the performances and that, for the next performance, someone will be killed for the audience. Ryo hates the idea, but it is business.

Their prisoner, Akari, is thoroughly disgusted and calls Ryou a monster. She says that Ryou is “unable to come back, like us.” Grace and I think that this means Akari has the ability to return from the dead, because that would certainly explain why she is alive later in the series.

Anyway, Ryou tortures and kills Akari before a live audience. After Akari is dead, the blog says (roughly) this:

“I looked aside and saw the surprised faces of the Daimyos. They opened their mouths when they saw me.

Hmm…? 

It’s hot. 

My face and my hand… are very very hot. 

I was surprised by what I saw on my hand. It was bright red. The small knife in my hand and even my sleeve were red, also, and from the cuff dripped… blood? 

That’s it. I remembered. I tried to kill this girl. 

I looked up at the girl again. Her head was completely downwards and I could see the intestines as I looked at her belly. 

This …was me? I trembled. My heart began to beat almost fast enough to break it.. Unconsciously, I spread my hands and turned to the Daimyo. 

‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha!’ I was laughing.“ 

So yeah Ryou makes a lot of stuff go wrong. Her actions, and probably Emi’s, are what eventually lead to the chaos caused by the meeting between Mai and Akari.

Kaori Onidzuka

This little cutie, formerly referred to as “Etsuko” by the fandom, is Mai’s cousin.

All we know about her is that she may or may not be into killing and torturing animals and that she is the one typically referred to as “Demon Child.” 

Really tho there is like NOTHING on the onibi blog about Kaori so there’s not much to talk about.

Tomonari Shishikusa

This man is a daimyo, husband of Ryou and father of Mai. He must really care for his family, because it was his idea to start killing people for entertainment as a way to bring in more money and he threw Mai a rather luxurious birthday party when the day came. 

So Akari’s curse might not be the only thing that pushed Mai to cannibalism. Evidently, those that turn cannibal sometimes devour parents that pampered them too much. 

The blog says that he and Ryou were having a very important talk with Mai shortly before she devoured them both. Tomonari was eaten first, with Ryou bearing witness just before Mai ate her as well.

Daiji Masaoma

This guy is Mai’s bodyguard. At some point he is found with a large portion of his shoulder eaten away, so it’s likely that he was killed by Mai. we crack ship him with takahiro

Kanishiro Oborodzuka

Here’s what we know about him:

  • He kidnapped Mai from her own hometown, so he’s probably a badass.
  • He has snake eyes.
  • After he kidnapped Mai, he forced her to consume human flesh from the back of a truck.
  • He probably did other unspeakable things to her, but there’s no telling

Here are the headcanons:

  • He does have a physical disability, like his family, but it’s deafness instead of bent/backward limbs or an inability to walk.
  • Therefore, he communicates through others with sign language.
  • He is Akari’s brother, and has red hair like hers.
  • He’s sadistic and cruel, but not as much as Ryou.

But yeah for a minor character, he does play kind of an important role in the story. We’ll probably be hearing more about him later on.

Shizune

She is Mai’s adopted sister, from the Oborodzuka clan. Apparently she found the dead bodies of her parents after Mai had eaten her fill of them.

OKAY SO

Remember, this is the updated info! My old post that says Emi is purple Gumi is WRONG. Hope this helped clear things up!

anonymous asked:

Do you have any pics of Brooke/Chloe??? Or art??? Ik what most characters look like, but not the ladies

chloe (katlyn carlson) on the left, brooke (lauren marcus) on the right

christine (stephanie hsu) on the left of jeremy, jenna (katie ladner) in the bg on the right

you can also watch the making of video where it shows the cast members as well :0c

1. I killed a girl today. I saw the light of her eyes burn out like a candle in a grey storm. I did not grieve. I did not weep.
2. I kissed a boy today. I kissed him because he wanted to. I kissed him and felt sick, every bone inside of me shivering. Every muscle aching. I kissed him because you, daddy, told me that someday a boy will come and make me happy. I kissed him because I had to and broke under the hard pressure of his touch.
3. The girl who died was me.
—  three secrets I‘ll never tell my father | r.m
Breathless (1)

Bucky x Reader

Summary: She’s breathless, and not in a good way.

Word Count: 1.8k+

Warnings: swearing i think, mentions of starvation, violence, torture, death. ANGST.

Originally posted by coporolight

Looking at him took my breath away, and not the good kind that most people associate breathlessness with. I couldn’t breathe. It was as if a pile of rocks sat in my chest. Each breath hurt worse than the last. My body was shaking with unadulterated fear. I was face to face with the monster under my bed, the star of my nightmares. The same stormy blue eyes that shot me in the shoulder all those years ago.

I honestly thought I was going to puke. My hands were clammy and I felt light headed. Tears threatened to spill over my cheeks and I take in a bated breath. My surroundings fade and it feels like I’m floating.

His blue eyes are no longer menacing and cold. Instead, they’re soft but haunted. It still doesn’t make me feel any better being around him. His eyes brightened at the sight of me for a moment and it unnerved me. His face falls and he takes a hesitant step towards me.

“Y/n? Is that really you?” he asked, his eyes search mine for a trace of the girl that was imprisoned with him. I know he can’t, because that girl no longer exists. Not since he shot me, at least.

I crossed my arms and straighten my posture. “You’re not a very good shot,” I spat, pulling the shoulder of my shirt down, revealing the nasty scar that stretched from my shoulder to my neck. He winces.

“Y/n!” Steve hissed, scowling at me.

“Fuck off, Steve. Did you know I was his first and failed mission?” I sneered angrily. “I was the test subject to determine if he was the Soldier. Spoiler alert, he failed.”

“Because I was still me, dizzy doll! I couldn’t shoot you. I wouldn’t kill you. You’re my girl!” Bucky interjected.

I look away and a tear slides down my cheek. “Your feelings for me set HYDRA up with decades of torture. They had no point for me so I was expendable. Every new method they came up with to torture you with, started with me.”

It was 1949, four years after the war ended and I found myself in post war torn Austria. I had just finished my degree and a promising job offer led to to the ruined country. I was too excited to see the skepticism in the offer. It was deep in the mountains and I had no knowledge of how to transport to and from the closest town nearby where I was suppose to be living. That was my first mistake.

The men who I’d later discover as HYDRA agents would drug me on the car ride there. I’d be striped of my belongings and nearly starve to death for the next week until they moved me into the cell block Bucky was occupying. I was scared and weak, terrified that I was going to die.

I was freezing in the clothes that I wore. I wanted to make an impression, so I wore a nice, bright yellow dress with my lab coat that would be my only source for warmth. I was getting sick. I coughed up a lung every now and then and my skin was hot to the touch, even though I was shivering.

And then by some miracle, they moved me. They viciously dragged me down multiple corridors until I got lost wherever we were. If they thought that I was ever planning on escaping, having multiple hallways with just as many others was the trick at capturing me, that’s for sure.

The doors in front of us opened with a scream and I shake against their grasp. They throw me into the room blindly and I fall with a loud crack. My knees crumble and my palms burn against the rough concrete.

I managed to get onto my feet and back myself into a corner. I ducked my head into my knees, quietly muttering prayers that I learned over the years. My eyes close and I shake with each word that tumbles out of my lips.

“Why did they bring you here?” a voice hissed out in another part of the room. It’s rough, raspy.

My eyes snapped open and I’m met with a worse for wear looking man. Despite our conditions, he looked fine. He was muscular and from the looks of it, he was wearing clean clothes. I scan the cell and notice this cell is ten times better than the one I was in.

It had a bathroom area and a small cot for a bed. It was an ideal hostage room unlike the one I was in. The cell I was in only had a bucket for a toilet and I was confined to the floor as a bed.

“I-I don’t kn-know,” I rasped out in between a coughing fit. My throat burned and it took everything in me not to throw up. “They j-just threw me in here. I’ve been isolated for a w-week.”

His cold eyes soften and he grabbed the cup of water to his right. He walked over to me before gently grabbing my hand, placing it in my hand. I thank him quietly, drinking it slowly. My eyes met his again again and for the first time I notice how beautiful he is.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Y/n,” I mumbled, shaking in the rags of my lab coat.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/n. I’m Bucky.”

After we met, I found solace in him. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and the months turned into a full year of imprisonment. It was a slow and torturous year, but I had Bucky. He kept me safe and warm.

He’d sooth me whenever I’d forget myself. He knew me better than I knew myself in just a year span. He’d remind me of who I was and run his cool metal fingers through my hair until I fell asleep in his embrace. No matter how many times HYDRA attempted to erase who I was, Bucky was always there. They could never erase him from me, and he brought me back to the ground.

One day after an attempted mind wipe, I was worse for wear. They threw me back into the cell roughly and I had no energy to lift myself up onto my butt. I was weak and feeble, shaking in response from the energy coursing through my body.

Bucky hurried to my side and held my head in his hands. My eyes closed as I listened to his soft strong voice. He was lulling me to sleep before my eyes opened again. Our eyes meet and my hand reached up, tangling my fingers in his hair.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m so weak and–and broken. You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

“Shh,” he murmured, “You’re not weak or broken. They’re trying to break you, but you’re not broken. I don’t mind takin’ care of you. You remind me of sickly Steve. I like takin’ care of you. I care about you.”

He holds me and pulls me into his lap. My hand brushed against his cheek and he leans into my touch. His fingers play with my hair and our foreheads touch.

“Y/n,” he breathed, “I really want to kiss you,” he confessed.

My heart leaped out of my chest and I turn my head, pressing my mouth against his. It’s firm and full of everything each of us want to say but there were no words for it. He holds me close and I cling to him. He seemed to be the only thing anchoring me.

“James,” I whispered against his lips. He hums in reply. “James, whatever happens to me, it’s okay. I can’t keep going like this. If HYDRA for whatever reason decides to kill me, I want them to. I can’t live like this anymore.”

“No,” he begged, holding my face. “I can’t lose you too.”

“Bucky, I can’t keep going like this. I want to die. I can’t handle another minute of HYDRA. You have to understand. I’m begging you to understand.”

“Y/n,” he croaked, “I can’t let them kill you. You’re all I have.”

I smiled softly at him, running a finger over his cheek. “It’s okay, Bucky. I’ll still be with you here,” I press my hand against his chest.

A handful of days pass before anything happens. It’s the middle of the night and I’m ripped off the home I’ve made in Bucky’s embrace. I cry out and he reaches for me, but he’s beaten into submission at the sound of a gun cocking. I freeze, adjust to the bright light in the room.

Agents surrounded us. My eyes met Bucky’s and his plead with mine. Mine soften, knowing what’s to come.

One of the head agents enters the room, a red book in hand.

“No,” Bucky cries, struggling against the agents in the room. “No, please.”

“Bucky,” I coo, forcing him to look at me. “It’s okay.”

Tears slide down his cheeks and a sob rips through his chest. I watch the agent open the book, thumbing through the pages. I tone the agent out, focusing on Bucky.

He’s gone moments later and his orders are given. He takes the gun and moves it to my direction. His eyes are cold, but it doesn’t frighten me.

“It’s okay,” I murmured in reassurance. “It’s okay, Bucky. Do it, please.”

He looks at me and raises a brow. Something in him clicks, but the gun still goes off. I crumbled to the ground, pain ripping through my shoulder. I was still alive.  

“No. No, no, no,” I chanted under my breath as they dragged me away to privately discipline him. I never saw him again until now.

“I asked, no, begged, you to shoot me. I was miserable. I was weak. I was dying. I wanted to be put out of my misery. You know better than anyone else how that feels,” I spat angrily, feeling my face get hot as tears slid down my cheeks.

“I loved you, Y/n! I couldn’t have you dying on my conscious!” he cried.

“Oh, and I’m sure you could have Howard and Maria on your conscious then, huh? You don’t love me,” I argued. “You think you do, but you don’t. I was the only companion you had. You don’t love me.”

I know it’s a low blow, but I don’t really care, not yet at least. I’m hurt. I’m scared. It’s the first time since he shot me that I’ve seen him.

His face fell and Steve growled my name. I ignore him, storming off to my bedroom. I slam the door shut and slide to the floor. My body shakes as sobs rip through me and I climb onto my bed, pulling my knees to my chest, crying myself to sleep.


yEAH NEW SERIES!!!! this one is going to contain a shit ton of drama. no one’s gonna be happy and it’ll be awesome. you’ll shoot me, but it’ll be awesome. and there’s gonna be a love triangle with a very over looked avenger ;))) send me asks of who you think it’ll be!!!


PERMANENT TAGS: @jessevans @fuckmewintertucker @ria132love @anastasiaannaa @bubblyaschampagne @kindnesswins @queen-valeskaxx @lilasiannerd @sammnipple @blueeyedboobear @mcuimxgine @marvel-fanfiction @blueskies-love @super-soldier-wifey @broken-pieces @xxchexchickxx @castawayreject @iamwarrenspeace @melconnor2007 @nerdyandproud9 @frostbyte-horan

(reposting for @dahalloween’s day for spirits and possession - an old ficlet, but one i never posted to tumblr. Cole tells a knock-knock joke.)


Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

He doesn’t know. Varric’s head is full of people who are real and not real and all of them hurt, and Cole doesn’t know how to untangle it. But the knock-knock jokes help.


“Okay, kid, try it again like we practiced.”

“Two pairs beats one pair. Four of a kind beats two pairs. She slips the ace of dragons into a thigh-high boot, calls to the barman for another round. Blondie stares at the table, angry, always angry.”

“Focus, kid. You can’t beat four of a kind with bad memories.”

He says the memories are bad, but he doesn’t want to forget them. He wants to spin them into stories, familiar faces hiding behind fake names. Maybe if he tells the story enough times, it’ll have a different ending.

Maybe this time when Blondie tries to give him an old and tattered pillow, he sees a message in it. This time he says the right words, and tomorrow Blondie’s dark mood is gone and they’re all back to playing cards. It was just another of Blondie’s bad days. They happen. They pass.

Cheer up, Blondie. You’re making me cry just looking at you.

I almost killed a girl.

You’ve killed two hundred and fifty-four by my last count. Plus about five hundred men, a few dozen giant spiders, and at least two demons.

It’s not the same.

Why? Because this one you feel bad about? Maybe that’s the problem.

Those were the wrong words.

The Hinterlands are burning, and Varric’s adding it to Blondie’s score. Or maybe his own score. He should have found the right words.

Another one for me! How many have you got, Hawke?


“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Cole.”

“Cole who?”

“It’s me, Cole. That is my name.”

“No, no. You’re still not getting it. Sorry, kid.”

But hearing the name helps the hurt, because he’s Cole, which means he’s real, he’s a person. And sometimes when Varric looks at him, he’s seeing someone else who was stuck halfway between person and spirit.

Varric asks him how he can fight with all that hair in his eyes, and he raises a hand and pushes it back, but then he stops because Varric’s seeing someone else raising his hands, tying his hair back. Nevermind. Stick with the hat. The hat looks good on you.

In Varric’s memories, he’s keeping the gangs away from the clinic door, and making sure Blondie actually shows up for cards with the guys, and they talk and they joke and they laugh even when it’s just Varric doing the laughing, and he makes sure Blondie remembers to be a person too, not just a cause.

Even when it makes Blondie angry. He is Justice, he says. You can’t claim to support one and not the other.

But Blondie and Justice are as different as the older brother who both is and isn’t here anymore, and Varric doesn’t give a shit about the cause, he just wants his friends to be safe. Well-placed bribes and balls of twine. People and demons always end in trouble. Too many Daisies in this garden.

“I am good, Varric. I am me,” says Cole. “You don’t need to worry, but thank you for caring.”

“Al…right? Well, let me know if you ever… er… yeah.”


Cole understands how to tell a knock-knock joke. The punchlines are all there in Varric’s head. But hearing a punchline isn’t what Varric needs. Varric needs to help him be a person.

The jokes work better this way.

“Try it again. You’ll get it.”

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Me.”

One of Those Nights:  A Kol Mikaelson Imagine

So this is based on the song One of Those Nights by The Cab, which is really awesome if you don’t know it. Hope it’s okay for you guys x 

I’ve been let loose and now I’m crawling up the walls

Word is I got away and now I must be caught

The first thing you felt at hearing that Kol Mikaelson was on the loose was fear. Pure, irrational, or maybe rational, fear. 

Why? Because you knew he’d be looking for you. And when he found you, you didn’t know whether he’d kiss you or kill you. 

After all, you had abandoned him in his time of need. You’d abandoned him when his brother had taken that diamond from him, and you’d watched as Klaus plunged that dagger into his heart, making no effort to save him from what would become a slumber of almost a century. 

You knew he’d been back for almost a week now. But there was silence. No calls, no letters, no knocks at the door. 

It was driving you crazy. 

And then the invitation arrived.

Don’t leave
Take it from me, I’ll be more than a King
(I can’t take that, I can’t take that)


“What’s that?” Caroline pulled at the card buried between piles of books. You’d become friends with her during the year you’d spent in Mystic Falls, living with the Salvatore brothers who had become your companions after you’d almost killed Stefan back in 1945. 

“Oh that? That’s nothing.”

“That’s an invitation to the Mikaelson ball. And it has your name on it, Y/N.”

“So? Everyone in town’s invited. It’s not a big deal,” you shrugged off the fact that the invite had your name scripted on it, in fine, elegant handwriting that you recognised as Elijah’s. When you’d seen it, your heart had hurt immensely, remembering that not only had you left the man you loved,the man who had promised you the world and made you feel like royalty, you had left good friends behind in doing so. 

“No-one gets an invitation as personal as this, Y/N,” Caroline stopped, her eyes widening as realisation dawned on her, “Wait, do you know them? Wait, did one of them turn you? No, no, let me guess. Klaus? It was Klaus wasn’t it? Or maybe Elijah, you’re both civilised like that-”

“It wasn’t Klaus or Elijah, Caroline,” you sighed, accepting that you just had to tell her the truth. 

“It was Kol.”

I’m going crazy and I’ve been awake for days
My mirrors are stained with painted portraits of your face

Kol Mikaelson was currently lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. It was a bed he felt was half empty, and whenever he slept in it, he couldn’t help but picture the figure that should have been beside him, his arms wrapped around her waist, her hair tickling his skin. 

Y/N was all he saw when he closed his eyes at night. She was both a dream and nightmare rolled into one. 

He should have been pissed. He should have wanted to rip her throat out. He should have wanted to make her suffer. 

But he didn’t. 

In fact, for the first time in his life, Kol Mikaelson was scared of seeing her. He knew she was in Mystic Falls, and he knew that Elijah had given her an invite to the ball later that night behind his back. 

And he was scared of what would happen if she actually turned up.

Don’t Leave
Take it from me, you’re my dirty disease
(I can’t take that, I can’t take that)

Buttoning up his shirt, and fixing his tie, Kol allowed his mind to wander for a brief moment. 

He thought back to the day he first saw her, the way she had smiled at him from across the hall, her eyes sparkling as they met his. She’d giggled when he grinned back, giving her a wink, and he remembered how he’d fallen head over heels in love with that teenage innocence that was so common among women in the 16th century. 

He’d bought her a dress a few days later, well, more like compelled one from some spoiled brat who wouldn’t stop fawning over him. She’d worn it for their first dance later that evening. 

“I see you like the dress I got you.”

“Indeed, how did you know this is my favourite colour?”

He had smirked. 

“Intuition.”

My flat line inhibition
Is my ammunition
I’m just fighting to get by

Just spit me some direction
I’ll be your infection
How could you leave me behind?

Caroline was going through your wardrobe, which you had reluctantly let her do after she told you she would have your back at the Mikaelson ball. 

The closet itself was full of four hundred years worth of dresses, some you had bought yourself, some you had borrowed from Rebekah and never given back, and some that Kol had given to you as presents. His way of showing his undying love for you, apparently. 

Undying love that was probably now dead. 

“This one’s perfect. What do you think?”

You looked up at the dress Caroline was holding, your heart sinking. She had to pick that one. 

You looked at it, admiring the fabric and the colour in the same way you had the first time you had seen it sprawled across your bed all those years ago. A small note had been beside it, that you had read with glee, not knowing it would spark four hundred years of passion. 

Wear this tonight and save me a dance - KM

“I don’t know, Car. Maybe another one?”

“Don’t be like that. Come on, you’ll look amazing. So many guys will want to dance with you that Kol won’t have a chance to even talk to you. It’ll drive him mad. Consider it your ammo.”

Sighing, you took the dress from her. Her plan did make sense. 

Only, you weren’t so sure if you wanted it to go ahead.

I’m a mess and you’re worse
Just give me time to give you a waste of time

One of those nights
When you leave me for no reason
I’ll give you a reason

Kol was standing on the staircase, listening to the speeches both his mother and his brothers had prepared, feigning interest. 

There had been no sign of Y/N, and part of him was relieved. The other part was distraught, and was trying not to lash out by killing someone on the stairs. 

If he was a mess, he could only imagine what state she was in. He knew her better than anyone, and he knew that the arrival of the invite would have made her nervous. He’d always been the one to comfort her in times like these, but that was difficult when he was the one she was scared of. 

And then he saw her. 

She had the blonde girl that Klaus was interested in by her side, and she looked stunning. The first thing he noticed was the colour of her eyes, the same shade that enhanced his dreams. And then his eyes fell on the dress. 

It still suited her perfectly, and like always, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

She looked up to see him, fear lacing her eyes. So Kol did the only thing he could, the thing that always reassured her. 

He smiled. And he was surprised to see her smile back at him. 

So he took it one step further. 

“I know you can hear me,” he mumbled. 

“I can.”

He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed the sound of her voice until she spoke. The familiar lilt in it drove him insane, and it was taking all of his willpower not to grab her and take her to his bedroom. 

“Are you going to kill me, Kol Mikaelson?”

“No.”

“No? I left you when you needed me, you have every right to.”

He smiled again, embracing her naivety that had made him laugh throughout the centuries. 

“Why would I want to kill the girl I love?”

He watched as her face transformed from wrinkles of confusion to a relieved smile. 

“You love me, huh?”

“Always have.”

“Well, for the record, I kind of love you too.”

Their eyes once again found each others, and the past century was erased in an instant. Kol felt his heart beating faster as she bit her bottom lip, knowing that she was well aware of what it did to him. 

“Nice dress,” he mumbled back to her, the speeches still continuing.

“Thanks. Found it in the back of the closet.”

He suppressed the urge to laugh at her sarcasm, knowing that his family would not be pleased at the interruption. So instead, he said four simple words. 

“Save me a dance.”

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