I-just...-puns

Just Another Bucky Smut

Summary: Just a Bucky x Reader smut. There really isn’t much of a story, it’s mostly smut.

Warnings: Dom!(ish)andJealous!Bucky, smut

A/N: My brother walked in and saw me writing this and just sighed so I hope you enjoy the second hand embarrassment that comes with my life.

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A rocky start

Some Context: one of my fellow players in a game is a rock golemn named Scoria. This exchange happened when the GM asked us on skype if we were available to play over the upcoming weekend:

GM: what’s the weekend plans guys?

Scoria: I am ready to roll.

GM: But are you ready to rock?

Scoria: You’re a real gem, GM

Player: stfu

Scoria: I’m sorry, shale we talk about this later?

Player: How dare you

Scoria: I got a bit boulder

Player: I s2g

Me: I think the puns rock. Perhaps you’re just too impatient to wait for a really nice one to crystallize. In the meantime you’ll just be losing your marbles over some lime jokes

Player: Why do you do this to me?

GM: Because we love you. Granite, we’re not very nice people.

Me: I wanted to throw out more puns in response, but I’ve hit a wall. They’re really too hard. Player is right, we should all some back down to Earth and start over, you know, with a clean slate. No more forced rock puns to stalagnate our conversations

Player: F***ING

Me: Uh oh, I’ve sent your and my relationship down a rocky road. Maybe if I’m gneiss you’ll be willing to drop all this grit and work with my based on sediment alone.

Player: z;ldkfjgn;zkjb

Me: I suppose I have norite to ask for forgiveness. Of quartz, I’ve earned your skarn. If you can’t forgive me I’ll just have to boulder on without you.

Player: why do you hate me?

Me: I don’t, I just love puns. But I’m done. I spent a solid 10 minutes reading up on names of rocks. It’s too much effort and I’m not even the rock golemn who should be making these puns.

Player: I’ll just silt over here and be quiet then

Scoria: I was driving!

Me: I’ve put more effort into thinking of rock puns in the last hour then I think you’ve done in entirety of the time you’ve played as Scoria. Not that I’m really keeping Scor(ia).

Randomness From A Skype Group Chat  {Sentence Starters}

  • ❛❛ I am trash Satan. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Only ten alcohol per hour.❜❜
  • ❛❛ Hello, jazz-hater. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Erase your own existence. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Stop leaving, you little punk. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Fuck you, Uncle Shady. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I JUST WANNA MAKE PUNS ❜❜
  • ❛❛ That’s all he learned in juvie: how to fuck someone back to life. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ How have you seen my ass? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Oh man, I’d love to die! ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Bitch, I’m gonna smear blood on your motherfucking macaroni. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I feel like my cat is judging me right now. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ When did wishing to die become such a casual topic in here? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m indifferent to cheerios. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Dying requires effort, for fucks’ sake. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ MURDER IS PLANNED ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Just laugh, I’m laughing about it now. I mean at the time I was crying, but I’m laughing now. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Reasons people should date me: there are no reasons, stay far away. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ If Hagrid and Weird Al had a love child… it would be you. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Hey, bitch, tell me about your fourth cousin Jenny. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ OMINOUS KAZOOING ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Stop it, you’re gonna trigger T -Bag. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ My arm is half-black. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You look like a shady drug dealer. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ One time I was at the dentist’s office and this hot dude came in and my first thought was actually ‘DEATH STAR APPROACHING’. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ My hair looks like Sonic the Hedgehog’s deformed pink cousin has been run over by a truck and used as a toupee. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Just take out the middle man and just die. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Screw joint weddings, hello joint funeral. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You might need to get me a bigger coffin. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I PUT THE ASS, SASS, AND SIN IN ASSASSIN  ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Would prison really be that bad compared to your work? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING DUCK I WILL STAB A HOE ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I can die happy and in toasted cheese heaven. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I did not subscribe to bible meet ups. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I speak no bullshit, my potato friend. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Watch dumb teenage singing with me, ya’ll. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Yeah, no fluff in Prisneyland. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ She is a sad smol murder bird and needs to be loved. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ If I had feelings, I’d be offended. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ We’re not naming our son Bear. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Shit, how do I go home and tell my wife that our adopted kid got eaten. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Give me your disorder, I’ll take it off your hands for you. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Murder is fun. It’s cheaper than divorce. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ This is fox-kidnapping. Put the fox back. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ The snail fucked off. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ DAMN YOUR HOT SHADY ASS ❜❜
  • ❛❛ STOP BEING LEPRECHAUN RACIST ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I am going to murder myself with a kazoo. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Does Britain have its tea? Find out next week. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I leave to eat some goddamn bbq ribs and there is hell. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You’re about as angelic as Lucifer, don’t fool yourself. ❜❜
Dye For You

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Word Count: 2101

Warnings: Language

Summary: Soulmate AU where your hair color is identical to your soulmates. If Person A dyes their hair blue, Person B wakes up with blue hair. You wake up to a rainbow of colors.

A/N: Whenever I can’t think of a good title I just make bad puns. Hah. Enjoy! Requests are open!

Masterlist


“How long do you think it’s gonna take Oak to get shit-faced tonight?” Anthony asked, looking towards Daveed, who sat at the bar stool next to his own.

The guys of the cast had set up shop at a bar after not getting together for a while, and Oak was definitely drinking enough for the entire group.

“It depends. Under two hours. At least,” Daveed replied, gesturing down the bar where Oak sat, flirting with a bartender under the prospect of getting free drinks. Lin stood next to him, watching on.

“Nah. I think he’ll last. Over 2 hours.” Anthony countered, sipping his beer.

“Really? I don’t believe you.” Daveed narrowed his eyes. “Have you seen him? I’m sure he’s already tipsy.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Depends, what are the terms and what happens if I lose?” Daveed replied, drinking out of his own beer.

“He usually ends up hitting on literally anyone when he’s drunk. As soon as he does, we check the time. If it’s past,” Anthony glanced at his phone. “-11 o’clock, I win. If I do, you dye your hair. Temporary, of course. We have a show tomorrow. At least through rehearsal and the Ham4Ham show. I’m thinking pure rainbow. ROYGBIV. It’ll be perfect.”

“That’s harsh. I haven’t met my soulmate, I imagine this would make them hate me. Hopefully, they won’t care. Whatever. I’ll win. And when I do, you have to dye your hair. Deal?” Daveed asked, offering his hand. He was willing to risk a lot for a simple bet, but it was just who he was. Even if it meant risking his soulmate’s hair.

It was a weird quirk of society. Soulmates had the same color of hair. Whatever changes were made to one party’s hair happened to the other’s. For example, if one person died their hair blue, their soulmate’s hair would change blue as well. This made dying your hair very frowned upon, along with any drastic changes to body appearance.

Anthony stopped, thinking for a minute. “You’re on. Deal.” He reached out, shaking Daveed’s hand. The two turned to watch the storm go down. Oak was taking shots; Daveed was confident he would win.


“I’m going to fucking kill my soulmate when I meet them, I swear. My interview’s today! I’m never gonna get the job now, Sara.” You vented into the phone to your best friend, fingers clawing through your hair. You had woken up to find rainbow colored hair covering your head on the day of a very important interview.

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10 Halloweeny Sentai Monsters!

It’s almost Halloween so I thought I would compile a list of my favorite thematic Monsters to appear in Sentai over the past 41 years! Now, some of these are here because they are classic monsters interpreted for tokusatsu and others are here because they are just amazing.

To qualify for this list though, they have to be definitively a monster.  This sadly leaves out Yakyu Kamen (Baseball Mask) from Himitsu Sentai Goranger who I adore. He’s less of a monster and more of a field commander with a giant baseball that shoots baseballs for a head.  Goranger was weird ok.

10) Dora Frankie from Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger

Yes, I am starting this list off with a version of one of the most classic of monsters, Frankenstein’s creation.  Dora Frankie was created by Bandora as part of her first grand scheme to bring Dai Satan, her Master and source of her witchy powers to Earth. He provided a distraction to the heroes until he was beaten.  However, unlike most of Bandora’s weekly monsters, he had other forms including the skinless Zombie Frankie:

And the demonically possessed Satan Frankie

So, for the virtue of basically being three classic horror foes in one, Dora Frankie makes the list!  It’s like a one monster mash maybe starring in a film called Exorcist of the Living Dead Frankenstein!

9) Evolved Bat from Kagaku Sentai Dynaman

There’s nothing really special about this monster other than his design.  He’s a giant cybernetic bat thing with huge fangs.  He just looks really cool and totally Halloween appropriate.  He also has one of my favorite initial concept designs ever:

It’s just too bad more of the paper design didn’t translate to the physical one used on screen.

8) Dracula from Shuriken Sentai NinNinger

What better way to follow up a bat than with a vampire?  And what better vampire than Dracula? This version of Dracula was ostensibly the leader of the Western Yokai who had come to Japan to challenge the NinNinger team. Over the centuries, he had grown more powerful though and so sunlight was no longer a hindrance and he could drain life force directly rather than feed on blood as well as shapeshift to hide among people.  He was still vulnerable to garlic though and a load of garlic loaded gyoza exposed him.

7) Evil Spirit Princess Denus from KyuuKyuu Sentai GoGoFive

One of two commander level villains I am going to add to this list, Denus is a member of the Psyma family of Calamity Demons. She is the demon of Aquatic Calamity and the only member of the family capable of passing for human.  She uses this ability to disguise herself, spy and commit acts of sabotage. 

I just noticed there are three bat-winged villains in a row here.  I must have a thing for them.  Let’s fix that with:

6) Shinigami Boma from Kousoku Sentai Turboranger

A monster sent by the evil Boma Hundred Tribes, this is essentially a Death God or Grim Reaper monsters complete with evil shroud, skull face and scythe! The Grim Reaper is such a visually distinct monster that it really should be used more often.  Just check out the initial design for this thing:

I want to cut that out and use it as a Halloween decoration!

5) Hades Beastman Hellish King Siren Neires from Mahou Sentai MagiRanger

Another monster I just love the design of and another monster with a bony look!  This one looks like a woman in lycra covered by a suit of bones in a vaguely mosquito-like head and bone wings. I guess I am just a sucker (pun intended) for wings on things.

4) President Gravestone from Gosei Sentai Dairanger

A member of the Gorma Idiot 3, three members of the Gorma incapable of taking human form, President Gravestone is a huge walking tombstone with a giant crack running from one side to the other.  He can flip open his head to reveal a lighter that spits flame. As far as villains go, he is much more intimidating looking than an actual threat.

3) Demon Beast Daitanix from Seijyuu Sentai Gingaman

This was the giant space kaiju that the Balban pirates have their castle/ship attached to and use to travel from planet to planet.  For most of the series, it is unconscious beneath the ocean and the pirates are gathering energy to revive it so they can destroy the Earth and return to space.  It’s basically Space Pirate Godzilla.  Man, I wish this thing had returned to fight the Gokaiger team.

Ok, so that might not be totally Halloweeny but it is a classic monster of a sort. So let’s go back to the classics and find us something appropriate

2) Devil Mummy from J.A.K.Q. Dengekitai

Sometimes I pick a monster because of the look or the initial design or even the theme.  This time I am picking this 1970s monster based simply on his name DEVIL MUMMY.  Seriously, this CRIME Monster is not just a Mummy, he’s a Devil Mummy.  I love this name.  It’s just great.  I wonder if he needs a ham?

1) Nai and Mea a.k.a. Vancuria from Mahou Sentai Magiranger

Once more with the vampires and this time my favorite vampire(s) of all time from Super Sentai.  The above two gothic lolita baddies are Nai and Mea (In Japanese Nai to Mea which sounds phonetically like the English word Nightmare). They are actually the split form of the vampire queen Vancuria:


Vancuria grew bored with being alone for eternity so she split herself into two girls so she could always have company.  When things get bad or she needs to battle, she can remerge into one being which gives her much greater power. We mostly see her split form though as she apparently enjoys being two separate beings.

At one point, Nai and Mea even form a band together called ‘Bloody Friday Nightmare’ which they use to lure humans in to turn them en masse into vampires.

So, they are without a doubt my favorite Halloweeny Sentai monsters.  They combine the fun of the season with the sinister aspects and look adorable doing it.  

Reid’s Autistic Traits

I was bored, so I decided to make a compilation of sorts on my favorite autistic character, Dr. Spencer Reid. These have been piling up in my files, so prepare for a gif-style infodump.

Stimming

Self-stimulatory behavior often consists of repetitive movements. Reid is frequently seen fidgeting with his hands and other objects. He almost always talks with prominent hand movements. He also frequently touches his face. Reid occasionally spins in chairs, rocks back and forth, etc.

Missing Social Cues/Confusion in Social Situations

Despite his excellent profiling skills, his interactions with strangers and friends often leave Reid confused and causes him issues when trying to connect with people. He will miss jokes and sarcasm, take things literally, and occasionally gets uncomfortable when speaking publicly.

Infodumping, Hyperfocus, Special Interests

Reid’s special interests, as I have observed them, involve general knowledge seeking, criminology, Halloween, old foreign films, and sci-fi. Reid has a more rare trait of autistic people; savantism. If you believe in quantifying intelligence, Reid has an extremely high IQ (187), He also has an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. When Reid is working a case, he frequently enters hyperfocus, ignoring everything else around him. Reid often goes into long-winded explanations of things and is oblivious to others’ frustration with his infodumping.

Sensory Issues

Reid doesn’t have as many obvious sensory seeking/avoidant behaviors as many other autistics, but it does manifest every once in a while. Reid is often uncomfortable with touching strangers, especially shaking hands. He has shown sensitivity to bright lights and loud sudden noises. Reid’s clothing choices also reflect his preference to be comfortable.

Coordination/Spatial Issues

Reid tends to display spatial awareness, coordination, and dexterity issues. He prefers academic pursuits, and ridicule in childhood further led to his aversion to physical activity/sports. He has also only very rarely been shown to drive a car, and takes the train to work. This may be due to difficulties with driving ability.

Appearance/Hygiene issues

Many autistic people struggle with basic hygiene and appearance upkeep. Reid’s hair, whether short or long, is almost always messy and unkempt. Reid’s clothes are often disheveled as well.

Trouble Regulating/Expressing Emotions

Reid tends to suppress his emotions much of the time, but when he experiences strong emotions they tend to pour out and seriously effect him in ways that don’t effect the rest of the team. Reid also tends to have odd/exaggerated facial expressions which may be a way of overcompensating for his struggles of expressing himself acceptably.

Additional stuff:

Avoiding Eye Contact

Going Non-Verbal (I’ve only ever seen this happen to Reid once)

Resistant to Change

Sitting Cross-legged (I’m not actually sure if this is an autistic trait but I always sit like this and so does Reid so I thought I’d include it)

So yeah, I hope that was informative. It was fun to make this post! Thanks for reading!