Well. Okay. So yeah.
I do not know where to start from but off lately everything around me has been a mess. I don’t know if it’s cause I care a little too much or if it’s cause of others or if it’s just me but it has been killing me. Being deprived of trust way too many times for any normal person is like this disaster no one would want to face. I’ve been deprived of trust a lot many times yeah but yes there is this one person,im not being able to let go of him. I mean his thoughts. I dont know why. I do want to let go of him real bad but I am not being able to. I must find it real easy to hate you after all that you have done but I can’t find myself doing so cause I do know that you love me too. Yes he is now known as my ex boyfriend,yeah. 16 months after I ended it why is it that I still sit here thinking about how we were? Perfect. Calm. Innocent. Why can’t I think about the stuff that made me break up with him. His insecurities. His temper. Just why?
It was a long distance relationship for two fucking years yeah but then, I was happy then, for some weird reason and I really want to be that happy again but sometimes you know like this saying, “You are allowed to miss a person but you are sure you don’t want them ever in your life”, I guess no not guess I’m sure you belong there but still.
It’s just my stupid heart craving your arms around me again. Or maybe just your voice to be heard.
Also is it weird if I said we met like just three times in those two fucking years and on the whole we spent maybe 70 minutes together overall and that I still remember how you smell.🙈
You have all my firsts. Kiss. Hug. Boyfriend. And a lot more. How I wish I could take it all back.
Little did I know I made you my addiction. Regrets.
it's destiny that you're next to me, i'm in love with you

RucasFanfictionWeek2016: Day 4 (Fluffy) - Who crawls through someone’s window at 4am to go for ice cream?”

Super short because I’m super tired but this was one I was really looking forward to writing. Who doesn’t love a late night ice cream date?

"Lucas, if my parents catch us they’re going to do a lot more than steal our shoes,” Riley hissed as she followed her boyfriend up the fire escape to the roof of her building.

“Don’t worry Riley, we’re technically not leaving the building and your parents are probably fast asleep by now.” Making it up to the top he turned to help her over the ledge of the roof.

“As we should be. Who crawls through someone’s window at 4am to go for ice cream?” Her voice was frustrated from having been abruptly woken just a few minutes earlier, but she couldn’t keep the grin off her face at the sight of Lucas standing in front of her.

He looked so different from when she’d last seen him only five weeks ago, with his hair sticking out slightly longer and a light trace of stubble on his jaw. Looking at him now it wasn’t hard to remember that he was fourteen months older than her. He would be eighteen soon, he was practically a grown man. Suddenly she felt insecure about her Cuddle Bunny pajama bottoms.

“Again, technically I didn’t crawl through your window,” he chuckled, leading her to the bench on the other side of the rooftop. “I stayed outside the whole time. I know better than to press my luck with your dad. I swear he has a sensor that goes off every time I step foot in your room.” They both laughed as they sat down and Lucas began pulling the ice cream containers from the paper bag he’d been carrying. “I just missed you, and I wanted to see you as soon as we got home. Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not. I missed you too,” she replied easily. He and his parents had gone to visit their family in Texas for the last half of summer vacation and had only flown in late last night. He had to have literally come straight to see her. The thought made her heart warm with love for this sweet boy she had been lucky to call hers for the last nearly two years.

Lucas smiled as he passed the smaller container and a plastic spoon to her reached out hands. She had been texting him all week about the unbearable heat wave that had hit New York; even the nights required her family to blast their air conditioning. He’d gotten the idea to stop by the all night ice cream shop a couple blocks from his apartment while they were still on the plane ride home.

“You remembered the gummy bears!” she cried happily, bouncing up and down a little with excitement as she woke up a little more.

“Of course.” He cocked his head to the side with a laugh and wondered how she thought he could forget.

“Thank you,” she mumbled through a bite of ice cream. She leaned up and pressed her cold lips against his cheek. His stubble scratched her face, and while the sensation was new it wasn’t altogether unpleasant.

They stayed up there until the sun began to rise over the horizon, eating their frozen treats and talking about what they wanted to do during their last week before the new school year. When the sounds from the streets below them started to get louder Lucas knew it was time to get Riley back to her room. Even on summer vacation Mr. Matthews was an early riser and he really didn’t want to risk getting on his bad side.

With a short kiss and a promise to see her later in the day, Lucas finally stepped back to begin his dissent down to the street.

“Good night Riley.”

“Good morning Lucas,” she giggled, before disappearing back through her window.


“I’m quite domestic, I like to just stay at home. I do see little rumours on twitter and stuff about fans thinking I’m a robot and I’m not real and I don’t really exist because I don’t really go anywhere, but that’s because I’m quite boring when I have time off. I like to stay at home and just relax and do normal things, chill out with my family. Mainly doing a lot of artwork, stuff like that. Write songs and chill out. I’m just a normal 20 year old, I think. I’m just having fun.”

In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.
—  Terry Pratchett  -  “Soul Music”

it wasn’t even on the lips!!!

Hold onto your voice. 
Hold onto your breath.
Don't make a noise, don't leave the room until
I come back from the dead for you.
I will come back from the dead for you.
This could be a city.
This could be a graveyard.
This could be the basket of a big balloon.
Leave the lights on.

You Are Jeff
- Richard Siken

fma meme » seven quotes {7/7}

↳ “Everything we see, everyone we meet, is caught up in a great unseen flow. But it’s bigger than that. It’s the entire world, the entire universe even. And compared to something as big as that, Al, you and I are tiny, not even the size of ants. Only one small part within a much greater flow. Nothing more than a fraction of the whole. But by putting all those "ones” together, you get one great “All”, just like Teacher said. The flow of this universe follows laws of such magnitude that you and I can’t even imagine them.“


“[Rose] was - ah - a girlfriend, really. I know we don’t say it, but she sort of was.” - David Tennant, Raleigh Comic Con, 14/03/2015.