I-found-this

(I am waiting on my mom to get out of her doctor’s appointment. I overhear a conversation between a 17-year-old patient and the doctor.)

Patient: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I MIGHT BE PREGNANT?!”

Doctor: “Well, ma’am, you said you haven’t been having your period, and you have been having sex with your boyfriend, so it is highly possible.”

Patient: “But I’m a lesbian! I can’t get pregnant!”

Doctor: “Oh? I apologize. I thought you said you had a boyfriend. Well then, we should try other tests. And I apologize to you and your girlfriend.”

Patient: “Ew, what? I do have a boyfriend! Why would I date a girl?”

Doctor: “Then you aren’t a lesbian. And you are probably pregnant.”

Patient: “I am a lesbian! My mom told my boyfriend and I that she wished I was a lesbian so I wouldn’t get pregnant. My boyfriend and I decided that I was a lesbian, so mom wouldn’t have to worry.”

Doctor: “Miss, that is not how it works, and not what she meant.”

Patient: “Screw you! I know my mom better than you do. You just lost a patient since you don’t even know lesbians can’t get pregnant!” *storms out*

Source: Not Always Right


10

Bilbo and the Dwarves, while in search of Smaug’s treasure, dream of what they will do with all that gold. (x)

vine

FANDOM PLEASE

On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 2

Hey, when I tried submitting this as a link, the “Submit” button disappeared. Could you make this a link and remove this comment, please? Also, the link to the page is on the bottom.

(Note: My coworker (who is flamboyantly homosexual) and I are the only two people working at the time.)

Coworker: “Hey ya, how’re you doing today? Is there anything we can help you find?”

Customer: “Leave me alone.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, is something wrong?”

Customer: “I said leave me alone!”

(While the customer browses, I head to the back to get some categorizing done. I come back at the request of my coworker, only to hear the customer yelling.)

Customer: “I will NOT be serviced by some f****t! You people are gonna burn in h***, and I don’t want you taking me down with you!”

Coworker: *on the verge of tears* “Sir, I’m really just trying to—”

Customer: *points to me* “HIM! Let HIM help me! Ain’t no f****t gonna handle my records! You, there! With the beard! Come help me, please!”

(Instead of helping the customer, I wrap my arm around my coworker’s shoulder. Note that I’m not gay.)

Me: “Is my boyfriend unable to help you with your transaction, sir?”

Customer: *looks horrified and sprints out of the store*

(via notalwaysright.com)