The two Jehovah’s Witnesses that always come to my door are alarmingly buff. Like, muscles-straining-through-their-white-dress-shirts buff. I don’t even have a joke to make about this, guys. I just feel like you should know that I am plagued by these righteously jacked proselytizers and that, for whatever reason, I’m constantly running into them at the grocery store and they always ask me how my cat is doing. It’s really somethin’.

do you ever think about what a weird fuckin generation of old people we’re going to be

like y'all will be in a retirement home and the nurse is gonna come around and say “okay everyone it’s time for bed”

and then, without warning, that one fucker in the back is going to suddenly mutter “sned. snail bed.”

and everyone is gonna fuckin lose their shit and start shouting about sneople and snakes and old sally in her wheelchair is gonna abruptly shriek “WEEEE AAAAARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS” and that sets everyone off into the rest of the song

meanwhile the two elderly weebs in the corner are yelling “BELIEVE IT BELIEVE IT HERE I AM WITH MY NINJA CLAN” and some asshole proclaims everyone’s going for a cheeky nandos with the lads then the roommate you thought died last week is gonna crash through the door and announce “SURPRISE BITCH I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME”

and you watch all of this unfold, sitting back in the rocking chair where you quietly chuckle under your breath, “let’s mcfreakin lose it” as you calmly knit a pepe scarf.


“I only wanted to relief you from your pain”

that’s what she said

The things that revolve around Mark and Tiny Box Tim (Timothy?) are very inspiring. Can’t blame my obsession toward plague doctor. 

The only problem is, again, this guy’s hair. 


‘Um, I really like the moment with Daryl and Rick sitting beside the car the morning after he bit the neck outta that guy (Joe). I just like that moment because Rick has become the brother to Daryl that Merle couldn’t be. I really like that moment.’

Norman Reedus talks about his favorite personal scene on The Walking Dead during his Men’s Fitness Magazine photoshoot

A poet told me that if I give this up, I will give anything up. If I give this to you, I will have given you everything. I keep thinking that I’m staying away for you but maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s for me too. Maybe I still want something to hold onto.

I guess that’s selfish, which I am told “love” isn’t. I guess that’s why we aren’t in it anymore.

My phone lights up in the dark and I get out of bed to look at the stars. I keep your name curled up at the base of my tongue just in case I ever have to use it. I hope that it’s you, but it never is. It’s an email from the bank, a Twitter notification. I am plagued by late night snapchats from people who have never heard me talk about you before.

You are getting married in eleven days and sometimes when I want to text you about it, I write about it instead. You are either sick of reading about yourself by now or you don’t pay attention to my poems anymore. I don’t know which is worse. Sometimes instead of picking up the phone, I pick up the last poem you wrote for me. The one where you lay everything out eloquently: “YOU have a heart like an animal in a snare” “YOU are going to die alone” “YOU are empty”. YOU YOU YOU. Me, me, me. Someone told me once that it helps to remember why we stopped talking in the first place. They weren’t wrong.

My phone lights up in the dark and I get out of bed to look at the stars. I take a walk. I think a lot about the moon. About how if I am small then you-and-I are smaller still. A blip somewhere on some cosmic radar. Something that has already happened. Something that is somewhere finished and tucked away. If we both look at the same moon and you still don’t want to call to say goodnight then maybe we’re not looking at the same moon anymore. Maybe the moon has nothing to do with it. Maybe you’re not the same person. Maybe I’m not.

My phone lights up in the day and there is no moon to contemplate. How easy it would be to make a misdial that rang in your kitchen. Instead I grab a coffee with another girl. I put my phone away. I pour myself like sugar into everything she has to say. I don’t try to make metaphors out of anything. We stop by a book store and I go straight to YA or sometimes I’ll search through children’s books for things that would have caught my eye when I was younger. I remember that this is a habit you used to look at with disdain. I hold it close. I buy more than I can read in a week.

Sometimes when my fingers itch for the phone, I pick it up. Letting myself get that far already feels enough like a battle half lost and won. I call a friend instead and talk to them like a sponsor. I say, “I’m thinking about using again.” They say, “baby, you don’t want to go down that road.” I say, “I know, I know, I know.”

I take out your contact information and put it back in again.
—  “11 Days (Instead Of Calling You)” Trista Mateer

When I am plagued by doubts, let my heart go to Christ.

When I feel inadequate, let me understand my worth in Jesus.

When I have moments of weakness, let my strength come only from Emmanuel.

When I rise and when I sleep, let it always be about Jesus.

When it comes to anything, let it always lead me to Christ.

—  T.B. LaBerge // Go Now

[Where is your Boy by fall out boy plays in the distance]

I had this prom au stuck in my head so I had to make something quick to get it out. Mont. You’re so smooth. In a criminal way. 

ATM: Runestones of the Sornieth Magi
A chart of runes for the High School AU. To use these, mages drew these adjacent to each other or organized them into a shape to be connected with lines. They can be made using any medium, but only a true believer can harness their power. These are not all of them, but they are the most well-known. The explanation for each are under the cut.

Keep reading

How to Lucid Dream for Magickal Purposes

Lucid dreaming can be used for divination, astral projection, and communicating with the spirit world. I am a Lucid dreamer, and after learning about the link between lucid dreaming and hag syndrome (a terrible thing I am plagued by) I did a lot of research about it. I found some scientifically backed ways to learn to lucid dream.

1.) Every morning, take a few minutes to reflect on what you dreampt. Most people remember dreams immediately after waking up, and then forget them shortly after. If you don’t normally remember dreams, taking a few minutes just after waking up to think about them can help you develop the ability to remember your dreams! Write down details, do your best to remember everything you can. The more often you take time in the morning to try and remember dreams, the more naturally it will come to you. This is also useful for dream interpretation!
2.) As you fall asleep each night, try to focus on what you would like to dream about. Don’t start out trying to do anything magical with your dreams, just tell yourself a story you’d like to act out. Imagine yourself flying, on an adventure, on a date. Completely immerse yourself in the fantasy as you fall asleep. Think of the details, focus on your senses. What do you hear? How does the grass feel under your feet? What do you see? This is also helpful for people who suffer from anxiety and toss and turn all night thinking about past or future stresses. Instead of pouring over the conversation you had 3 years ago, you can imagine you’re flying on the back of a dragon. This is another thing that gets easier the more you do it. The first few times you may find your mind wandering to other things, or just feel awkward. Keep trying!
3.) After a while of trying steps one and two, you will find yourself dreaming closer to what you imagine at night and remembering it more vividly in the morning. The next step is the one that is the hardest to start, and usually ends up being like switch flipping: taking control from within the dream. While dreaming, try to alter small details. This will take time, don’t be discouraged! You can get there. Eventually, you will be lucid dreaming with the best of them, and can utilize this skill for different types of magic.

Lucid dreaming is scientifically linked to sleep paralysis, or hag syndrome. It has to do with REM sleep. If you don’t know what it is, it is when you lay awake, eyes open, completely paralyzed with the sense that there is something horrible in your peripheral vision (yes, you hallucinate) attempting to harm you. They used to believe that hag syndrome was when a demon or an evil spirit attacks or possesses you. If you believe lucid dreaming helps you navigate the spirit world, i suppose that makes sense. I experience it a lot, and it is terrible. It would feel immoral to post about lucid dreaming without including a warning about the increased likelihood of hag syndrom.

Solas romancing Lavellan makes me so happy but it’s always so funny because he spends his entire time being like “I shouldn’t do that I am plagued with guilt and dread that my actions will cause her permanent harm.”

And I know that it’s joked about a lot that he’s just really damn thirsty, that he really wants the booty or whatever, but the reality is, Solas is so starved for attention and genuine affection that he feels completely head over heels in love with her simply because she… treats him like a person. Treats him like a person and values his opinions, even if she doesn’t always agree with them, and uses them as a factor in her decision making. 

He talks to a romance Lavellan on several instances if you flirt with him about how “no one sees him for anything other than a pair of ears save for her” and how “he hasn’t been able to trust anyone in a long time”. The first flirt with him is about protecting him from the people who would kill him or capture him for his race and magic, things he cannot help but have. Other flirts are about helping him make friends and how he’s intelligent and has insight and strength no one else has. Insight that makes him a valuable partner and friend. 

There is actually remarkably little that is sexual about Solas’ devotion to Lavellan. I love “Solas is thirsty” jokes as much as the next person, but I also never want to lose sight of the fact that he fell for her because she is “unique”, a “rare and marvelous spirit” who shines more brightly over the ages than anything else in his bleak life. 

Solas is lonely. He is sorrowful. 

And for just one moment, one instant in his very long life, she broke through that and let him have someone else and be happy.

Solas loves her deeply and truly and could never express what she did for him, how much she means to him, because she helped to heal a bit of what hurts inside of him. 

I don’t want to lose sight of that. 

Mink doesn’t say “I love you” he says “I’ve put on weight” which roughly translates to “I am no longer training every day to fight and kill the man who massacred my people. I am no longer stressed and unable to eat. I am not plagued by dreams of screams and fires that wake me at 3am each morning, and on the rare occasion I do have nightmares my husband is there to hold me and remind me that I am safe and there are no flames at the window or chains at my ankles. I am eating three homemade meals a day and going to work with my crafts and I am spending my evenings sitting by a fire with a book and the man I love. My husband makes the best pies and I can eat an entire one by myself if he doesn’t stop me. He makes me smile in a way I never thought I could. I hope to grow older and fatter with him from here.”

In which Kiyoko gets Tsukki to be her escort to some third year formal event or something because think about it - he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, he can intimidate any annoying suitors that keep hitting on her away and he can pull off a vest and tie to match her dress. They probably ended up causing many people to trip that night haha.

…lol idk, I just wanted to draw Karasuno volleyball club’s gorgeous bespectacled duo. WHYYYY are the both of them so pretty uuuugh I am plagued by the possible interactions between the two of them why aren’t they even shown interacting at all in the manga/anime I cryyyy