A/N: I apologize to whoever requested this, I know it took a long time for me to write it. Honestly I had never thought about this pairing before so it took me some time to come up with a concept. I hope you like it.
Looking down at your field notes, you smiled. Three years.
It had been exactly three years since Namjoon had started your program and you
watched him become more and more comfortable right in front of your eyes. He
was still incredibly snarky, but as the years went by, you saw him bring people
back into his life. His parents slowly became a regular duo to visit him, he
spoke openly about his struggles, and with some help from the guys, and you
were able to get him to feel comfortable without the gang brooding over his
It had been three years since you looked him in the eye and
put up a wall. You admitted to yourself that you needed time to be afraid,
Namjoon had broken a trust and you didn’t know if you would be able to move
forward. But now the two of you stood on the other side as different people.
You heard a knock and Namjoon stood in the doorway.
Hey, how are you
today? He asked with genuine curiosity. He no longer treated the world as
his slave, but rather appreciated hearing about everyone. He saw himself as
equal. You smiled.
Pretty good. Look at
this. You said and placed a document in front of him. He scanned it.
This is my file. He
responded and you nodded.
But look at the
sentencing line. You guided his gaze with your finger.
It’s blank? He
looked up and you smiled even wider.
The courts deemed you
as fit to go back into society. The program is over! You exclaimed and gave
a little victory dance, but Namjoon stood still. What’s wrong, Namjoon? You’re a free man! C’mon! Don’t make me look
like an idiot dancing alone! You tried to convince him, but slowly you
stopped clapping and jumping around. Namjoon looked from the sheet to you and
back to the sheet.
But what about you? He
asked and you tilted your head.
What about me? If this
is about my job, they will assign me a new patients and I’ll continue to work. You
tried to explain, but Namjoon shook his head.
Every day I try to
better myself so that one day I can be the man you need me to be. He said
and you sat down at your desk.
The man I need you to
be? You asked for clarification and Namjoon sat across from you.
I did a horrible thing
to you three years ago, I hate myself for it. He spoke about how he hurt
you and you looked down. There were a lot of obstacles that came with that
incident, but you continued to persevere and found the ability to forgive him
years ago. But now he was sitting in front of you with a look of concern on his
face. I want you to be able to see me as
more than a patient, I want you to look at me with more than just friendship. He
said and you realized what he was getting at. Your heart sped up as he spoke,
it was hard not to fall for Namjoon, but you still were hesitant, so instead of
running into his arms, you sat back in your chair and closed your eyes for a
moment of reprieve.
It’s true that three
years ago you hurt a part of me that will never truly heal. You broke my trust
and killed an innocent side of me, but from that I have been able to learn more
about myself. I have been able to learn about how to truly forgive, I will
never forget it because it shaped me into who I am today, but I am grateful that
it happened. Like any difficulty in life, that incident is something that will
continue to help me. You said and Namjoon watched as you sat back up. But I want you to spend more time learning
from yourself. Right now, we are still very different people. I want you to
learn what it’s like to be on the outside, I want you to see what it’s like to
be just a normal citizen. Then maybe one day, we can try to be something more. Namjoon
I will try to become
the person you want me to be. He said and you shook your head.
I want you to become
the person that’s already inside of you. I don’t need you to shape yourself as
anyone other than who you are. You responded and Namjoon nodded, taking the
settlement papers and walking out of the room.
The two of you became friends, as Namjoon transitioned into
the real world again, he would turn to you with his struggles. You saw a raw
side of him, one that he rarely showed anyone, and you felt special to see him.
More time passed and the incident became more of a memory, a nightmare that
sometimes plagued your sleep, but you stopped associating Namjoon with the man
that hurt you that night. The Namjoon that stood in front of you today was one
that would take a bullet for his friends, a man who would help an elderly man
or woman cross the street, a man that would help teach children to read. The old
Namjoon had died years ago.
Namjoon came to your apartment, a year after his release and
you smiled as he let himself in. Hey,
Y/N! Look at this! He showed you an article that showed a picture of the
Pieta, a small engraving had been discovered on the side of the statue and people
were beginning to wonder if Michelangelo had written it secretively. You rolled
A secret engraving? You
laughed. I don’t think Michelangelo would
do that, maybe a crazy tourist? Shaking your head, you went back to
cleaning up the apartment.
Become reborn. Namjoon
read off the message and you looked over your shoulder at him.
Maybe he was talking
about you. You responded and Namjoon looked at you.
You think I’ve been
reborn? He asked, raising an eyebrow and you nodded.
You truly are a
Renaissance man now. You laughed and Namjoon swatted you with the paper.
Hey! I was being
serious! He exclaimed and you chuckled.
So was I! You aren’t
the same guy I met years ago. You said and Namjoon nodded.
Good. His response
made you look over at him quizzically. You wiped your hands on a towel and
Why’s that good? You
questioned and he looked you dead in the eye.
Because I finally feel
like I’ve been reborn to be a man that’s worthy of you. He said and stepped
forward. He gently placed his hand under your chin and guided it up, looking
you in the eyes for permission, you nodded slightly before closing your eyes. A
feather light kiss fell onto your lips and you smiled as he deepened the kiss.
Namjoon had his own
Renaissance. You thought to yourself, before losing yourself in the sweet
Author’s Note: I like it. I think it shows that people can change and life can move forward … I understand it’s controversial, but I like it.
For the nice person who requested this smut, I reaaallly hope you like it. You’re my first requester :)
Smut Jungkook x Reader Word count: I have no idea, a lot?
(I saw this pic after I wrote this but damn it was perfect…)
“KOOKIE!!” you called out into the empty open air of his bedroom where you lay upon the neatly made covers of the bed, staring at photos of tattoos and piercings on the bright screen of your phone.
“YEAH?!” His call echoed softly to you through the walls of the house. He was undoubtedly on the other side, practicing hard for their upcoming comeback, as usual.
“COME HERE PLEASE, I NEED YOUR HEEELP!” you yelled. For the past month you had been craving a new tattoo or piercing. Sometime the urge made your skin itch, that’s how strong it was. As they say, you don’t get just one. The only problem was, you couldn’t decide on what to get next. Your ears were already pretty full of metal so maybe a body piercing? But, you really wanted that lotus tattoo on the very bottom of your neck, between your shoulders, too. AISH! the decision was so hard! You needed Jungkook’s help. With heavy steps, Jungkook bounded into the room, his face was flushed and his body held a thin layer of perspiration on it, and his large white t-shirt clung to the muscles in his chest and arms. He looked incredibly sexy with his damp black hair falling into his eyes just a little bit.
“Are you okay, (Y/N)?” he asked, his voice full of concern, as he made his way over to you. You ignored his question and grabbed his hands instead, pulling his tired body onto the bed next to yours.
“Jungkookie-ah, I need your help!” you pleaded.
“I can’t decide whether to get a tattoo or another piercing next. I’ve been thinking about it for a month now and I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. What do you think?”
He looked at you, slightly amused and a tiny bit annoyed.
“You pulled me away from practice for this?” you looked at him innocently as he laid there, eyes closed, exhausted.
“Ah, Kookie, you’ve been practicing all morning and half the day. Look, the sun is already getting low. You needed a break anyway.”
“You’re right, okay then show me what you want.” He said. He was sprawled out on his back, hands motioning for you to hand him your phone. You drew your body closer to his, your upper body covering his slightly, resting there, and showed him the lotus design on the screen. Your breasts were pressed against him and you could see that he had noticed from the way he blushed and tried to focus on your phone. His reactions to your body always made you feel mischievous and you loved to tease him.
“If I get this, I was thinking about putting it on my lower neck…” you said as you swept aside your hair to show him your bare skin.
“…or maybe I could put it on my lower back instead… “ Your hands moved down and lifted the edge of your shirt up just enough to tantalize Jungkook. You glanced back at him through your eyelashes, to see him breathing was slightly faster than before and his eyes were glued to you.
“Mhmm, that.. would be good.” He breathed. He pulled his eyes upwards and looked at you finally. His excitement made you smile as you rose to your knees and turned to straddle his hips.
“On second thought, maybe I’ll just get another piercing… maybe a body piercing?” his eyes flashed and he gripped your hips as you settled your weight onto him.
“Jagi, you know how much I like piercings.” He moaned.
“Where do you want me to get it, Kookie?” you asked, your voice breathy and seductive. His eyes flashed again and he immediately went form cute and flustered to sexy and lustful. He sat up and slowly pulled off your shirt as he trailed soft kisses up your belly.
“How about here?” he kissed right on your belly button and flicked his tongue over it, making you shiver. Your hands rose up to his neck and you ran your fingers through his soft hair, gripping slightly and he pressed more suctioned kisses onto your torso. His hands drummed up your sides, leaving trails of fire, and he poked his fingers underneath your bra, pinching and rolling your nipple as he did.
“Or maybe here?…”
“AH! Jungkook!” you gasped. His fingers worked on you and you could feel yourself soak through your underwear. He swiftly unhooked your bra and you dropped it somewhere in the room, not caring where it landed. His large hands caught your breasts, one in each hand, as he massaged them before placing his mouth over your right nipple. You closed your eyes and threw your head back, moaning, as you automatically ground your sex into his growing erection. Jungkook growled, his hands gripping your hips tightly, and softly bit on your sensitive nipple, rolling it between his teeth. The pain turned into a different kind of pleasure and you felt a new wave of wetness rush forward.
“Ahh, yes, that feels so good.” You whispered. Jungkook released your nipple and stared you in the eyes, biting his lip, as his hand reached into your jeans and smoothed over your swollen clit.
“I think I’d like a piercing here, too…” You’re body collapsed on itself from his sweet touch, shuddering, only held up by his hand and chest. a strangled sound escaped from you as he continued his torture. In an instant, he had you on your back and bottom-less, fully naked underneath him. The muscles in his arms rolled as he ripped his t-shirt over his head, shaking his messy hair from his eyes. you sat up just enough to untie the string at his waist and sucked at the skin above each of his hip bones. Jungkook drew in a rattling breath and pushed you back down, breaking the contact from him.
“I wont be able to last if you get me this excited, jagi..” His cock jumped inside of his boxers in agreement. Jungkook watched your face as he reapplied pressure to your clit, swirling his index finger around in a continuous pattern that made your toes tingle with a cold, icy sensation. Your muscles tensed and relaxed with each wave of euphoria that washed over you and soon the bed was marked with a small wet patch. Each breath became faster and higher as you neared your release.
“I’m..im gonna-” before you could finish, the feeling subsided as he took his fingers off of you and replaced them with his pointed tongue. Jungkook avoided your hypersensitive bundle of nerves as he licked at your opening, dipping his tongue in slightly every so often. He would flick your clit occasionally, each time causing your body to twitch with electricity. You couldn’t take his teasing anymore.
“Just FUCK ME already, Jungkook!” you demanded.
“I thought you’d never ask. I almost drowned, you’re so wet…”
“Just shut up alrea- AHH YES!” he didn’t let you finish your sentence as he sharply thrust into you easily, aided by your natural lubricant. He stilled his hips and rested inside of you for a second, trying to calm his excitement.
“God, you’re so tight…” he panted. You impatiently rolled your hips upwards, trying to gain friction. in his moment of weakness, you decided to switch positions and trapped him underneath you, immediately moving on him at a steady, slow pace as you adjusted to his substantial girth. A string of curses left his lips and his fingers dug into your skin, leaving crescent moon nail marks on your hips and waist. each thrust became deeper, harder, and faster as his hips bucked into you every time you sank onto him. You steadied yourself with your hands on his chest and hovered slightly above him while he drove into at a blinding pace, his cock assaulting your g-spot relentlessly. His thumb came to your clit and sloppily rubbed it until you were nearly screaming. Your body became numb and bubbly with your nearing orgasm and Jungkook flipped you onto your back once more. He grabbed your leg and brought it up above you, using it for leverage and also opening you up to reach even deeper as he pounded into you.
“I cant hold back much longer (Y/N), you need to cum soon.” he warned. His new position hit you at the perfect spot and his frantic hand on your clit drove you to your climax. You came on his cock with a loud cry as your walls pulsed and contracted around him. His paced became erratic and turbulent and he groaned,
“Shit, I’m gonna cum..”
With a strained “(Y/N)!” he came into you, mixing with your essence and slowly rode out both of your orgasms. His body shuddering, he pulled out and collapsed next to you, completely exhausted from both the training and the sex.
“well that was…”
“Intense.” he finished. You still felt floaty and warm as you swept his hair off of his sweaty face and kissed his lips deeply, poking your tongue against his lightly. His arm wrapped around your waist and pressed you against him, your warm bodies flush against each other.
“You should definitely get a piercing. I kinda like the idea of nipple rings..” he admitted, smirking.
“I was thinking the same thing.” you blushed, suddenly embarrassed.
Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door that made you jump in fright. Taehyung whipped open the door, one hand covering his eyes and he said, “JEEZUS! You guys were LOUD! Hurry and come back Jungkook, we need to practice ‘Run’ again.” Teahyung left the room then, running down the hall with a crazy cackle. Jungkook sighed heavily into the air,
okay so I’m not sure if this is good, Kookie is hard for me to write about sorry but Tae at the end, omg I love him I think he would actually do this too maybe.. lol got me like
// story time - I usually bring grandma potted plants for mothers day. This is because they won’t die right away, and I know she likes to garden.
I bought her pink roses in a bouquet this year just for something different and JFC her face lit up! FFS, I didn’t think flowers would do that - or maybe they’re her favorite flower and I didn’t know either way, the end
I just wanted to share how happy grandma was - it was really cute
Ok, so about the nomanita post, I thought like you that probably Nomi doesn't wat to keep her surname because of her family. But really, I thought better and I imagined this: Nomi and Amanita discussing last names and Nomi saying "I don't care to keep mine I could take yours" but Amanita being all "you CANNOT change your last name, it means too much because you survived your own family and you love your sister" so they decide on Caplan-Marks. Does this makes sense? I just love nomanita so much
Yup it perfectly makes sense! I think that they would either do that or maybe join their surnames in a ship-like new surname lol :P Carks? Maplan? Who knows xD
one idea of mine that i think would be fun to do for maybe a week is start a blog called “anti-sjw-retirement-home” or “senior-citizens-for-real-justice” or something similar and it’s basically the same thing as your average real justice parody blogs that dnt have any triggering content, it’s just disjointed grumbling abt “le sjws” except the mod’s names are things like “mod agnes” and “mod henry” and they talk almost exclusively in obsolete slang from the 1940s. in general it would just be silly but another layer to the joke is that anti sjws hold completely archaic views, hence the old people theme.
Sorry if I ask too much, but how many characters are gonna be in Sonic Skyline? Like are you gonna add all Archie characters in or something? Also is Lemon The Parrot gonna have a skyline form? I think he is really cute and I would like to see him in the skyline art style XD
EDIT: ahh forgot to answer how many characters…
Main Sega Sonic canon characters..
the main 5, plus Team Dark, plus Team Chaotix, Marine, Blaze, Silver, Mephiles, Tikal, Chip and Chaos, Vanilla, Big Froggy, Maria, Honey the cat, Mighty Ray, Team Hooligan, Team Babylon and maybe Wendy Witchcart and MAYBE her minions..
i’m not going to put all Archie Sonic characters.. only the main freedom fighters (Sally, Antoine, Bunnie, Rotor, Nicole and Uncle Chuck) and Shard wich is theoricaly Metal Sonic 3.0… and their design is already done (except by Shard’s)
and that would be enough for ever and ever
about Lemon: since the begining i did not wanted to introduce any of my fan character to the au.. you know.. to make it look more to the SEGA’s rules.. XD but now i think i would like to do it someday.. maybe as a cameo character..i have already an idea of what his role would be ..
mouth pinched into a thin line when Kira followed up her less-than-cheerful
greeting with, “Stephen’s attitude is beginning to get out of hand.”
sighed heavily and rubbed a hand over his face. “What do you suggest?”
shrugged, and the movement made her chair squeak. “I’m not sure there is
anything else we can do in regards to him. I’ve had his parents come in for a
family counselling session, but kids at this age get their morals and beliefs
mainly from parents, so they did nothing but cause more problems.”
scowled down at his lap. “Yeah, I didn’t think that would do much. Maybe we
need to come at this from a different approach.”
perked up and smiled, and seeing the genuine look on her face improved Stiles
mood, a little. “What are you thinking?”
shrugged and leaned back into his chair situated across from Kira’s desk. “Well,
we’ve tried attacking the problem head-on by working with the instigator. Maybe
we should be working on the victim’s side.”
victims… werewolf kind?” Kira blinked, confused.
eyes lit up, an idea hitting him suddenly. “Yes! Educate rather than punish!
When there was that rash of cyberbullying a few years back, instead of just
tracking down the bullies, the school had a program for all of the students to
raise awareness of what bullying does. That’s how we need to approach this!”
Stephen is the only one causing problems towards the werewolf students,” Kira
for now,” Stiles countered. Kira nodded her agreement. “Besides, the school’s
history curriculum is sadly lacking in regards to werewolf culture. It would be
a good thing for the students.”
How would the princes react when they saw MC with her handsome ex-boyfriend.
Hm. I think this is something I’ve answered before - or at least something similar to it as it is a jealousy headcanon. I’m too lazy to look right now so I’ll answer it just the same. Who knows? I may be wrong. xD
Wilfred: He’s the silent type through and through. He wouldn’t confront her or anything about it. He might sulk a bit until she explains why she was with her ex, but I don’t think he would actually do anything, except maybe glare. If the ex tried to make a move on her, that’s when he would react.
Keith: Keith would move in like a tornicane. (Tornado + Hurricane) He’d be all huffy and oozing his alpha-male aura. Think of an angry cat with its hair bristling and standing on its tip toes. He’d probably demand why she’s with her ex and what on earth the ex would want to do with her. After being chided, he might bite his tongue, but then he’d stand behind her and hug her close - just in case the ex had any ideas.
Roberto: Roberto might be sad at first since he might misunderstand. Still, he wants to give MC the benefit of the doubt so he goes over and puts on a smile like nothing’s wrong. Once he knows what the deal is, he’ll be relived and reassuring. But that won’t stop him from being touchy feely and super affectionate in front of the ex, ‘cause you know how affectionate he is.
Glenn: Glenn would be super pouty about the whole thing. He’d want to go over to her, but he wouldn’t want to be seen as immature so he’d stand off at distance. All the same, his annoyed aura would be felt by all and force the MC to acknowledge him. He’d definitely feel better after she explains everything, then hold her hand and not let go.
Joshua: Joshua would also be another one to have an alpha-male, cat-like reaction to seeing the MC with her ex. He’d demand to know why she was talking to him when she has no reason to. He’d be all like, “He’s your ex, there’s nothing to discuss with him. Why are you talking to him?” Just being a dork in general and all that. He’d hold on tight to her for the rest of the day. xD
Edward: Edward would hide his jealousy with a smile and be very cordial. He’d definitely have faith in the MC and wouldn’t be too worried. He wouldn’t show his feelings openly because, again, it wouldn’t fit his image and he thinks they’re unsightly. He’d ask her about her ex in a roundabout way and once she lets him know the details, he’s not as concerned. He reassures himself that he did the right thing in not getting overly emotional about it and is happy once again.
They were only a month into the new semester, and Yoongi was already burned out. He’d managed to get through his freshman and sophomore years with minimal effort and was not at all prepared for the onslaught of work that his junior year brought. He’d been drowning in papers and theories since the first week. He needed to relax.
But he also needed to get his work done. So that was how he found himself approaching the old student center on the far side of campus at 11:30 on a Tuesday night. He’d finally finished everything he needed for the next few classes and, even though it wasn’t the most orthodox time to shoot some hoops, Yoongi wasn’t going to let that stop him. He deserved this.
The student center was open until 1 in the morning and Yoongi planned to be there until he was kicked out. He hoped to have the court to himself, since there was a new, upgraded gym on the other side of the campus. That’s where most people went. Yoongi chose the old center exactly for that reason. He didn’t want to be dodging people’s shots. He wanted to get lost in the rhythm of the game. And he wanted to do it alone, in the peace and quiet.
When Yoongi pushed open the main door to the student center, he seemed to be in luck. It looked deserted. He crossed the dim lobby to the gym and nudged his shoulder against the gym door. It didn’t budge. Yoongi reached out to shove it harder and his gaze fell to the notice taped there.
‘If using the gym after 11 pm, please see student worker for access.’
Story Element: Fantasy Combat/Training Institution
Anonymous asked: Do you have any advice on writing a detailed training routine/curriculum for a fantasy educational and combat institution? The only thing I’ve got is that each student’s final exam is a battle against the headmistress, where one or more of their senses are rendered useless depending on their learning style. (Ex. visual learners are made blind by magic, or the battle environment is rendered completely black and white.) I need more creative ideas…
To begin with, I think I would do it with maybe three general training and combat courses that everyone took, and then choose two specialized courses for each specific learning style. You could do any number you want, but five gives you plenty of material and shouldn’t be too much for the reader to keep track of.
To come up with the three general courses, you’ll have to figure out some important things that all of your fighting techniques have in common. Fitness is probably one of them, so that could be one of the three general courses. You don’t have to call it “fitness” but ultimately it would be a class where they do things to promote their physical fitness, like: running, cardio workouts, maybe yoga to make them more lithe, weight lifting, perhaps some obstacle courses, and that sort of thing.
You’ll also need to decide what they’re fighting with. Are they fighting with magic alone? In that case, one of the three general courses might be general magic skills, learning spells, technique, etc., and then one specialized course could focus on learning spells and techniques specifically helpful to one of the personal learning styles, and then the second specialized course would be putting everything together–where they actually use a combination of fighting techniques along with their spells and specialized spells.
I’ve been reading predictions saying how Karma is going up to kiss Amy but to me, it looks like might start to walk past amy a bit towards the last .00001 second. Or maybe I’m seeing things.
I was thinking that she might walk past and maybe shove Amy like in this Emison scene:
I honestly don’t think Karma will kiss Amy; it wouldn’t make sense. As for slapping, i don’t think Karma would do that either. Maybe she does walk past Amy and that’s why Amy says “There’s no fixing this, our friendship is over”. But then I saw this:
So then maybe Amy does something to get Karma to talk to her because they are still friends idk. Anyway, this episode looks like it will be mostly Karmy but honestly I really hope we get a least one more Reamy scene besides that morning after scene. And although I reeeeally want Karma to know Reamy slept together, it would be really sad for her to find out on this episode since she is already heartbroken.
“It’s not my proudest moment,” he says, not meeting Tony’s eye in a way that kind of scares him.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Tony insists, reaching out for those fragile looking hands. “I’ve seen all sides of you, and i’m still here. I’m here for all of your proudest moments and your major fuck ups.”
When Loki doesn’t answer him, he adds, “unless said fuck up is murdering me. I’m not here for that.”
“Anthony…” Loki breathes, finally meeting his gaze with that complicated expression that Tony still can’t categorize properly. Is he happy? Is he mad? God only knows. Literally.
“What?” Tony smiles innocently at him. “You don’t seriously think i’m going to stand by and let you gut me, do you?”
“You do not honestly think I would gut you, do you?”
“Maybe, if I pester you enough about that time with the lime-green sock and your—”
Nails dig into the palms of Tony’s hands in warning, making him giggle, because Tony has those things called callouses so good luck with that, and because Loki was hardly even trying.
Oh yeah, he was totally feeling threatened.
“You swore not to speak of that anywhere where those two may listen in.”
“I promised no such thing,” Tony replies, then winces when the nails dig in deeper, and quickly makes to amend himself. “Oh, yeah, right, I did say that. Yep. So, about this not-so-proud moment?”
Loki lets out another breath, this time some foreign-alien-probably-swear-word sliding out with it. His gaze hasn’t drifted away or lowered in shame again, which is a little more reassuring since Loki doesn’t usually do that. He meets you head on, challenges you even when he’s dead fucking wrong.
So to see the god duck his head, hide his eyes behind his hair, to shuffle his feet like a toddler caught climbing on top of the fridge was… okay, maybe that’s a bad example, Tony was an odd baby.
The point was, this kind of reaction from the one and only Loki, God of ‘Don’t Give a Fuck’ was absolutely terrifying.
So when Loki begins to talk, Tony sits right down and gives the nervous looking man his actual full-on attention.
“I have lived proudly, I shan’t deny that,” he admits, looking down at his thin fingers that had, at some point, curled around Tony’s instead of digging into his palms.
“I have lived less so, of course, under certain thumbs of powerful beings. A father, a king, a war lord…”
“SHIELD,” Tony adds with distaste.
Loki spares him a smile.
“The lesser of three evils.”
“Depends on the evils.”
“Odin? Th… Thanos? I should think they rate higher,” Loki points out, his lips pinched and white.
Tony stares at him, unblinking, mutters an, “You win,” and nods for him to continue.
But Loki doesn’t, not for a while. He sits back, keeping their hands connected, and stares down at Tony with another unreadable expression. Tony was undoubtably the best at reading Loki’s moods, next to Thor, who was the best at misinterpreting them, but the god still succeeded to hide everything in times likes these.
It was the small shift in posture, a drop of tension from his shoulders, that told Tony that Loki was about to dish it out at last.
“When I was younger, I believed strongly in justice. No—” Loki puts up a hand to silence him, “—not your mortal sense of justice. Something more… Ah, well, primitive, by one’s usual standards. I believe you once called it 'an eye for an eye’?”
Tony nods, more to himself than anything. He vaguely remembers that conversation, the sex afterward being much more memorable.
And eye for an eye, indeed.
“I believed in a balance, much more literal than your society’s systems have chosen. There was the people, the spirits, the politics, the power, and the truth.” Loki pauses, lips forming an odd smile with an old sadness to it. “Truth above all, and the rest trickled down to the things of a lesser importance. Politics had always been at the bottom of my tower, and along side it, people.”
“People weren’t important to you?”
“People did not provide this Justice accurately.,” corrects Loki. “Politics fail the balance, people abuse it, souls are lost to it, power corrupts it, and truth… truth was its only shining star amongst the murk. Because truth could always be balanced.”
At Tony’s incredulous snort, Loki pulls him closer and touches their hands to his chest.
“Truth is raw,” he says. “Do you feel my heart beating? That is truth. There is no lie in the most basic forms of life. A tree grows, snow falls on a mountain top, animals fight and eat and mate. These things thrive on their honesty, and are a part of the balance that we will never achieve… because we lie.”
“But aren’t you, like, the 'God of lies’? What are you telling me here?”
“I’m telling you my gravest mistake, Anthony. My largest 'fuck up’.”
With a sharp sigh that sounded no where near relaxed, Loki begins more slowly.
“One day, many, many years ago, while I still believed in balance and truth above all else, I met an elf. He was no one special, in the end, simply a pivot on which my life would turn, but his name was Trill and he was clever.
He also found great amusement in this little, naive prince wandering out in the world, and decided to show him how to manipulate it to suit his needs.”
Loki clears his throat and glances away again.
“I have never told anyone this, and I wish to never have to repeat it again. So listen well, and I… can only hope you remain as you are. As I said, truth is balance when on equal ground. But even then, it can still destroy.”
“Would you just tell me already?” Tony huffs, freeing one hand to tip Loki’s head back to face him. “This was probably eons before I was even born, why would I care?”
“Because this is where that side of me came from.”
“The 'side’ of you that’s a part of you that I already know about and have gotten over along with the window throwing, almost-Coulson-killing, city ruining, poison-coffee-ing, lime green sock—”
And he does, but he smiles at Loki with more confidence than the god seems to expect. In fact, he really was under the impression Tony was going to up and leave him over whatever this was. It was equal parts fascinating and disturbing.
Oh well, he thinks, the truth will set you free. Or balance you, or whatever.
“I was told, by this elf, that things were not as it seemed. That a tree could lie, healthy bark hiding a rotten core. That animals could disrupt the balance, taking a life in needless violence…” His voice softens to nearly a whisper. “A father eating his young, for example.”
Tony’s heart does a painful thudding thing in his chest, and his grip tightens around Loki’s hands.
“I told you he was a pivot, but I did not say that was the moment my life pivoted,” Loki says with a pained smile. “It wasn’t until that faithful day in the weapons vault, with my skin just changed back to what I knew to be my own, that I saw it. I saw that ugly, broken world at last, and I embraced it fully.”
“You lied before, though,” Tony interrupts. “You told me this before, you tricked the Frost Giants to break into Asgard or whatever.”
“Yes, I lied a lot, even as a child,” Loki agrees, shrugging awkwardly. It was a habit he seemed to be picking up from Tony—to both his horror and pride—and was slowly working it into his repertoire of gestures.
“I lied to complete the balance. A mound of gold for a girl? No, too unbalanced. Her life meant more and Odin thought not. But for the Ring? Yes, the Ring was worthy of her life, and so it was because I interfered. Was Thor ready for the throne? Was this an equal price to pay; his nativity, that would tear our realm apart, weighed against his honor?
I thought not.
A realm is not worth Thor’s trust, and certainly not his pride.”
Tony hums in agreement, finally beginning to understand where this was going.
“No wonder we get along. It really is an eye for an eye, or, you know, a ring for a girl, a back-stabbing, murdering, son of a bitch father figure for world sort-of-peace.”
“And Pepper,” he adds quickly, ignoring the way Loki’s eyes narrow at her name. Three years and he still did that, greedy much?
“Yes, we do share the same… Priorities at times. Myself, of course, having pivoted once again.”
“Oh?” Tony muses, wiggling his body a little. “Did a little personal do-si-do?”
At that, Loki smirks and leans in, yanking Tony nearly into his lap.
“No, I met you. I had gone beyond the balance and into a spiral of irreparable destruction and chaos. I had lost sight of truth and beauty and you, Tony Stark, showed up and told me the truth.”
“You have no throne here,” Loki drawls. “Sound familiar?”
“A little more Shakespeare, but yeah, I was threatening you.”
“You were honest,” the god remarks, sliding his hands free to wrap around Tony’s back. “You told me why I was wrong, you walked up to me, foolishly, and told me I would lose… and I did.”
“So I was a pivot… Because I threatened you and you threw me out a window and went off to stab Thor and, sorry babe, lostmagnificently?”
“If you must put it in such simplistic terms, then yes, you were and still are, a turning point in my life.”
Tony lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, and hides his face in Loki’s neck. It was his favorite hiding technique, perfect thanks to hight differences, and also because this way he could admit things without facing Loki head on.
Like the coward that he was.
“I’m here for this,” he whispers, hating how wobbly his voice sounds.
“You are here?” Loki replies, sounding equally as shaken, if not surprised. “I fear it is a rather grand responsibility, being so transformative.”
“I can handle it, you should have seen my metamorphosis. This isn’t even my final form.”
“Norns, what is?” Loki chuckles in his ear, lips brushing against the sensitive skin below it.
Tony thinks while he snuggles into Loki’s body to get comfortable. The god shifts, unasked, and suddenly it’s perfect and nothing’s in the wrong place.
Like puzzle pieces.
No, cogs working together in the grand machine.
“Probably a giant moth,” he mutters, eyes closing as Loki huffs with laughter.