I-NEEDED-A-DARE

If you don’t think McGonagall was invited to James and Lily’s wedding you’re wrong
  • She was in her office working late one night when she heard tapping on the window; it was an owl, carrying a letter labelled « Minnie »
  • So of course she knew who it was from
  • ngl she teared up a little at the thought that Lily and James were getting married, in spite of the war, and that they’d invited her to the wedding
  • She wondered for a (very short) while if it would be appropriate for her to attend her former students’ wedding, but oh who was she kidding - this was James Potter and Lily Evans, of course she was going
  • She showed up in a long bottle green silk dress, and a high bun with green feathers sprouting from it
  • Of course Sirius was the first to spot her when she arrived
  • He offered her his arm (« you look ravishing tonight, Minnie ») and escorted her to her seat
  • She didn’t even try to conceal her tears during the ceremony
  • she was so proud
  • later Marlene dares Sirius to ask McGonagall for a dance
  • Sirius looks offended
  • « I don’t need to be dared to ask Minnie for a dance! I was going to anyway! »
  • « Minnie, would you care to dance with me? »
  • « Mr Black, I hardly think this would be appropriate! And may I ask again that you stop using that name! »
  • « Come on Minnie, you know you love it. One dance? »
  • *deep sigh from McGonagall*
  • « Alright, Black. One dance »
  • Sirius winks at James as he dances with McGonagall
  • James is dancing nearby with Lily
  • He looks so betrayed it’s comical
  • « Excuse me Lily I must go dance with Minnie right now »
  • Lily rolls her eyes
  • « sometimes I wonder if you don’t love her more than you love me » she groans
  • but she smiles and goes off to dance with Alice
  • James approaches Sirius and McGonagall and clears his throat
  • « excuse me, Minnie, do you think I could have this dance? »
  • Sirius looks bewildered (« uh, mate, can’t you see I’m dancing with Minnie?? »)
  • « Ah, yes, Padfoot, but this is my weeding. I do what I want »
  • To their surprise, McGonagall nods, « you know, Black, Mr Potter’s got a point.. »
  • James smirks at Sirius, who stares at them for a second then stomps away mumbling to himself like the drama queen that he is
  • McGonagall may tell James how proud she is of him while they dance
  • James may find his eyes to be a wee bit watery for a second
  • After a while, Sirius reappears
  • James starts to make a speech about how Sirius should quit trying already (« I am the groom, Padfoot, therefore I am the one who gets to dance with Minnie » *severe eye-rolling from McGonagall*)
  • but Sirius cuts him off by saying « Prongs, I didn’t come here to ask Minnie to dance with me. I came to ask you. »
  • « Oh. Well in that case » — he turns to McGonagall — « Minnie, if you’ll excuse us »
  • James takes Sirius by the waist and they start dancing
  • Almost half an hour later, Lily sits down next to a grinning McGonagall and sighs « you know, sometimes I wonder if he doesn’t love him more than he loves either or us »
Imagine working as a waitress for the Joker and him becoming obsessed with you in a different way than with any other woman before.

A/N: Eh you know I had to. I like this Joker I just wish there was a little more footage for us to be able to capture his true character. It’s certainly unlike anyone that has ever been portrayed but I don’t think any of the previous Jokers were really the same. To me they all are different sides of the same coin, so I don’t think it’s fair to say who’s better or not.

You sighed completely worn out from work. You threw your keys and bag on the table next to the door and took of your shoes, leaving them next to the door as well. You walked into the darkness in your apartment, it wasn’t all that big for you to get lost anyway and the small light that shone through the curtains was enough for you to see at least the outline of most of the objects that were in your place.

You made your way to the kitchen, taking off your hoodie in the meanwhile and throwing it on the couch. You were only in your jeans and a bra but one thing you loved about this apartment was the that it was warm during such nights of the winter when you needed it. You filled a glass with water and downed it all in one. You paused for a moment, the events of the day running through your mind.

Sure, your life was not the most exciting one. You weren’t Wonder Woman, nor would hang out with Batman and up to about half a month ago your life could be considered actually peaceful despite what your work was. But you should expect it to happen, you should have seen it coming: You worked as a waitress in the Joker’s club, he was bound to see you sooner or later.

You weren’t a criminal, nor were involved in anything that had to do with him, you only wanted to make money to help your family. Sure working for the Clown prince of Gotham wasn’t the best way to do so but the only thing you did was serve and it did pay enough for the few hours you spent in there. He did come often, not as much as Harley, but still was there quiet often and you were always glad when at the end of your shift you could count yet another night he had not taken notice of you. It was all going great. And Actually everything was going well, until you were asked to serve him. It was just giving him his drink, what could possibly go wrong you’d thought? Well, everything did after that.

You caught his attention, much to your surprise, and there was no getting out of his mind after that. You didn’t talk much and you didn’t even try to impress him. Hell, you’d be crazy if you tried to, knowing what the blonde could do to you much less all of his other enemies. But somehow you were caught and it was obvious from the first moment. How? The most simple sign was that every time he came, and he would come more often now, he asked from you to serve him. Only you. And what seemed even more surprising was that he’d try to make a talk. At first you didn’t really to talk but you knew you couldn’t avoid it, there was something in him that made your curiosity peak. The mere way he spoke it just made you want to know all the more what was going on through his mind.

But you never got too close. You didn’t dare do so. He was the Joker, and you were just simple you. Getting involved in all of that wasn’t something you wanted, no matter how much the man attracted you. He was a criminal for the love of, the least worst thing that could happen to you was death, quick and easy.

You sighed, shaking your head as you made your way to your living room. A movie could make you forget about the man that seemed to occupy not only your dreams but all day in general. You stopped dead on your tracks when you noticed something on the coffee table, though. You approached it carefully, thankful that there was enough light through the curtains to help you see it. You frowned as you extended a hand and picked the… flower up. It was a rose. White rose.

You blinked several times, having a deja vu feeling. You looked around you in case there was something else you were missing. Last time you came to find flower in your home it was red roses, a big bouquet of them with a let on top of them. It was from him, of course. And of course you didn’t accept it. Not just the flowers but what the letter had along with it.

“You know-” a voice made you jump and your eyes widened as you backed away as fast as you could, trying to fight where the damn switch for the light was “-it was kinda rude what you did.” you knew the voice and the fact that he was standing in the shadows didn’t help at all.

“It hurt my feelings.” he said in tone that you couldn’t tell if it was mocking you or he was serious.

Either way you cheered slightly in your head when your hand came in contact with the switch and you turned the lights on. You blinked several times until your eyes adjusted but at least you now were able to see him. You weren’t really in the mood to play in a horror movie at the moment either. But maybe, just maybe, part of you regretted the decision.

“Wow” his eyes widened and a wicked wide grin spread on his face “Nice choice of color, gotta say lace looks really good on you kitten.” he said with a small growl, approaching you and you felt your face heat up. You hurried to grab your hoodie to wear it but before you could do another move he had snatched it from your hands.

“Nah uh” he pointed a finger at you “Don’t be a bad girl, you still gotta make up to me for what you did with the flowers.”

“Mr Joker-” your voice was low as you took a few steps back.

“Nah nah nah nah. Goooood- will you please not do that? It sounds sooooo… wrong! Gah wrong!” he whined slightly, shaking his head with a deep frown “It’s J, dollface. It’s Mr J. I’m your Mr J.” he breathed out, giving you a grin; flashing his sliver teeth at you.

“Mr J, What are you doing here?” you watched him carefully.

“Uh well, as I said you really hurt my feelings there princess.” he pouted, giving you a somewhat sad but still playful look “I sent you the flowers cause I wanted to but you oh you-” he laughed “You! You! You! You little-” he stopped himself as he grabbed your chin with his hands his smile vanishing “You returned them to me.” he let a small growl “Not very nice of you!” he grinned again and you swallowed thickly.

“It wasn’t about the flowers- you know what it was about.” you didn’t dare look him in the eyes but did when you heard him scoff.

“If I want to give you money then I will, there’s nothing wrong with that.” he raised his hands in the air.

“Money you have stolen!” you didn’t even believe you were raising your voice at him “And I know that the money I’m being paid with are not legal either but- I’ve earned those. I-” you swallowed calming yourself down. He may have acted nice around you before but you shouldn’t forget he was the Joker. One moment he could be sending you flowers and gifts and the other have a gun over your head.

“Thank you for that, I appreciate that you wanted to help me with my family.” you decided to be honest “But the money I am being paid for my work is enough already, I don’t need anything more.” you dared look him in the eyes and for the first time ever since you first met him he was looking at you seriously; a kind of emotion you had never seen before was there.

One more reason why you wanted to know him more.

“You-” he breathed out, bringing a hand up to hold your chin with two fingers and more gently “Oh I like you.” he grinned widely, running his hand up to cup your cheek.

“You’ve got morals- oh I I I I I liiiiike that!” he laughed and you let a small whimper for a moment. You had yet to see him go crazy in front of you.

“Tell me though, little angel.” he got closer to you. You took a step back only to have your back pressed to the wall, your eyes going wide when he pressed his body close to yours; a satisfied predator like smile on his face.

“Is that what really holds you back? Is it me, the big bad demon scaring you? Is all this darkness that surrounds me that scares you? Do I scare you, dollface?” he tilted his head to the side as you only bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from whimpering.

“Tell me-” he growled “Are yous cared of me? Are you scared of what I can do to you?” he whispered in your ear, his hot breath fanning over your cheek.

“Please, Mr J.” you whispered, shutting your eyes; feeling your heart hammer as his bare chest pressed against yours.

“Please what?” he pouted, pulling away to look at you “Oh sweet cheeks-” he breathed out as he traced his fingers over he features of your face, them lingering a little more over your lip as he tried to open your mouth with his hand.

“You, oh you little angel-” he laughed, that maniac laugh that echoed through the entire apartment “No. No. No. No. No. No. No!” he exclaimed “You are not scared of me… are you?” he looked through his dark eyes. Gosh you hated to admit it to yourself but you could get lost in those eyes. There were times where, you had taken notice of it, they were light blue and calm like the sea others they were curious as he watched your every move, trying to take in as much as possible as if he was studying you and others he was looking at you hungrily, and they were dark and filled… with lust, like now.

“No” he chuckled “No, you are not scared of me. You’re scared of this-” he grinned as you shivered when his other hand ran up your thigh, to your hip and stomach and up to your chest. You swallowed thickly, eyes wide and a squeak left your lip when he parted your legs with his thigh and pushed your hips with his against the wall.

“You’re scared of how you feel for me, aren’t you little one?” his breath fanned over your face and you held your breath as his lips brushed past yours. You shut your eyes for a moment as he pushed your hips with his backwards and you tried to swallow down the moan that threatened to leave your lips .

“I- I don’t want any trouble, Mr J.” you whispered “Please” you whispered, opening your eyes to look at him.

“Oh but you’re not going to get in any trouble little one, not while I am here.” his hand moved down to your ass “Not while you have me.”

“How do I know I have you?” you whispered and he tilted his head to the side “You’re the Joker, you don’t belong to anyone. Only to yourself. You’re- you’re not loved, you don’t get loved.”

“Oooh I like that you know where I stand but- but princess this- it’s all my decision. I plan and I execute according to my plans. I do what I want, not what others ask.”

“But you said it you- you don’t do what anyone does. Why should I believe you belong to someone- much less me.”

“You- you- you are right! Exactly- but you- oooh you my angel are just that. You are me- or what I at least used to be. I’m yours, all yours and you will soon realize it for yourself.” he pressed his body closer to you, as if it was any more possible.

“But what about Harley? I- I don’t want any trouble with her Mr J.” you whispered, already knowing you were going to give into him anyway. You didn’t want to lose who you were, much less your sanity, but this man had such a strong pull on you it was impossible to think about anything else but him.

Harley won’t dare touch you as long as I am here, dollface. I’m your J, only yours. I don’t do what others tell me no, but you-” he let out a breath, teasing you with his lips… and hands “Oh you can do anything you want with me.” he he breathed out as his lips ghosted over yours “Now- tell me this: Do you… want me princess?”

You didn’t dare say the yes out loud but at the same time you didn’t dare not say it at all.

“Answer me (Y/n): Do you want me to be yours? All yours?” he purred seductively and you swallowed thickly.

“Y-yes” it came out in a a squeak and he grinned.

“Would you take me any way you can? Do you want to take me any way you can (Y/n)?” his voice was low and husky.

Your eyes roamed his face for a few seconds as his also moved back and forth and without saying another word you grabbed his face and crushed your lips to his harshly, letting all the emotions that had built up inside you for all this time.

Problem Solving

Obi-Wan: [annoyed and fatigued] Anakin, what the HELL are you doing? I should have known that when they told me the Republic had fallen, you were somehow involved.
Anakin: [boastfully] I’m being evil! Look at this place! LAVA! FIRE! MY NEW EMPIRE! And you? You are a dead man, Kenobi.
Obi-Wan: [exhausted sigh] Ohhhkay, Anakin, we’re done with this. How long has it been since you slept? You need rest. C’mon. Let’s go.
Anakin: [confused]…what?! What are you talking about I AM A WICKED SITH LORD MY HEART IS MADE OF DARKNESS. Aren’t you fearing for your life?
Obi-Wan: [unimpressed] …Uh, sure. I’m terrified. Anyways, General Skywalker, it’s bedtime. [walking over and picking up Anakin off the ground]
Anakin: [eyes widening as Obi-Wan throws him over his shoulder] E-excuse me? I’m Darth Vader you can’t just – 
Obi-Wan: Oh but I am. That’s what makes this so bleakly amusing.
Anakin: I don’t believe this, I don’t need a nap how dare you! Put me down I demand that you – oof!
Obi-Wan: [throwing Anakin onto a bed on the ship] I’ll see you when you wake up, Anakin. [closing the door behind him]
Anakin: Wh-what?! HOW DARE YOU MASTER, uh, I mean YOU JEDI SCUM I AM VERY VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS OPEN…open the door…hey, this is that one really soft blanket…ANYWAYS I AM STILL VERY ANGRY.
Obi-Wan: [outside the door] Yes, I imagine you must be. Did you notice all those pillows in there?
[silence]
Anakin: Yes OK this room has adequate pillows. If one were to be…going to sleep…which I am…not. [snoring]

Adapted from a conversation with @gffa

One-Shot Master List for Mobile

Bruce Wayne

  1. Cuddles
  2. Big Fight
  3. 5th Anniversary
  4. I Need my Shirt Back
  5. Teenagers
  6. Double Dog Dare
  7. The Picture
  8. Cute
  9. The Opposite of Cute
  10. Bad Dream
  11. Enviormental Hazzard
  12. Out on Assignment
  13. You Get the Car
  14. No More Batman
  15. Fancy Meeting You Here
  16. Not a Sidekick
  17. Failed Birds and Bees
  18. Number One Guy
  19. Running Wild
  20. Burden of the Crown
  21. Mr. Sunshine
  22. Sucked Back In
  23. Secret Revealed
  24. The One With Running
  25. The Original Batgirl
  26. Breakfast on the Patio

Dick Grayson

  1. Chapped Lips and Cold Hands
  2. Let’s Take a Ride
  3. Baby Now that I Found You
  4. Don’t Let Go
  5. Cold Shower
  6. Under the Stars
  7. I Never Thought You’d Ask
  8. You Really are an Idiot
  9. Practice Makes Perfect
  10. Acquaintances with Benefits
  11. You!
  12. Queen of the Klutz
  13. I Can Take Care of Myself
  14. Special Time
  15. The New Nightwing
  16. No More Wasted Timed
  17. The Riddle
  18. Elephant in the Room
  19. Sick Night
  20. Don’t Touch Me
  21. Tackled
  22. Oblivious Identity
  23. Present
  24. Ginger Ale
  25. The Text
  26. The Date
  27. Bed Time
  28. Flying Grayson
  29. Fishy Fishy
  30. Burn Out

Jason Todd

  1. Tax Purposes
  2. Undress
  3. Wonderful Diabolical Woman
  4. Star Gazing
  5. Middle Child Syndrome
  6. I Killed  Somebody
  7. You’re Pre-Med Right?
  8. Water Aerobics
  9. Sister
  10. Mocking Jay
  11. Rings and Boxes
  12. Cookies
  13. It’s Not Right
  14. Bun in the Oven

Tim Drake

  1. Can I have a Cup of Coffee
  2. Did You Have Fun Last Night
  3. Two Orders Please
  4. Hot Topic
  5. Flying Bagels
  6. Kiss in a Bookstore
  7. A Summer to Remember
  8. Smart Choices
  9. You’re My Boyfriend
  10. Nightmare No More
  11. Coffee

Damian Wayne

  1. Sleepy Time
  2. Sick as a Dog
  3. That’s All I Ask of You
  4. Youngest
  5. Home

Alfred Pennyworth

  1. Grocery Store

General Batfam

  1. Sleepy Time
  2. Family Vacation
  3. Sun, Sand, and Sea
  4. Too Far
  5. Kiss Cam
  6. A Stern Talking To
  7. Batmom and Beyond
  8. Delivery
  9. Flash Point Paradox
  10. Son of Batman
  11. 3rd Times the Charm
  12. Stalker
  13. Always a Paradox
  14. The Incredibles
  15. Sleep
  16. Two Worlds
  17. Panic Attack Princess
  18. Bring Her Back

Barry Allen

  1. Puppy Eyes
  2. Doppelganger
  3. Let’s Have a Baby
  4. Cell Migration (Sequel to Let’s Have a Baby)
  5. I Can Live with That
  6. Tell Me a Joke
  7. A Ride on the Nope Train
  8. Apocalypse

Wally West

  1. Big Brother
  2. Hickey
  3. Little Part
  4. Changing Planets
  5. Daily Lessons
  6. Wrong Freaking Hole

Vic Sage Kaldur

  1. The Question
  2. Light a Fire
  3. You Get Holidays
  4. Not Likely

Clark Kent

  1. Supermom: Part 1
  2. Supermom: Part 2
  3. Discovery of Self
  4. Stupid Sparks

Kaldur

  1. Catfish
  2. Escort

Misc

  1. Wings: Part 1
  2. Wings: Part 2
  3. Old Life

Headcanon that Meg is like a cat when it comes to cuddling.

Like, she and Castiel are done having sex and Meg is like: “No, don’t cuddle me! I am a strong, independent, FEARSOME DEMON and I need no cuddles! DON’T YOU DARE CUDDLE ME, CLARENCE!”

And then Castiel wakes up the following day and Meg is all up in his personal space, sprawled on top of him with her hair smothering him. And if he happens to make a mention about it, Meg will say she does it for the body heat because Castiel hogs the sheets (he doesn’t).

anonymous asked:

mom. mom you gotta help me. i have a dog. and he's sleeping on my legs. but i need to get up. mom please advise me on what to do. i cant move him hes a sleeping animal i need help.

Dont you dare move until he woke up

ASKs received these months (1/1~3/15)

I’m sorry for answering so late , just have too many other things to do QwQ
If you are desperate to get answer sooner, feel free to give me messages!

Below are my answers! (arranged by orders)

Keep reading

As a reader: OMG THIS ONE-SHOT IS SO FREAKIN GOOD! I NEED MORE!! NOW! HOW DARE THIS WRITER NOT WRITE MORE!!!

As the writer: OMG somebody liked my smol story! Wait…write more you say? Turn this into a multi-chapter fic you ask? Uhh…

Originally posted by gifs-from-the-seaside-ca

Adult Truth or Dare

You honestly didn’t know how you’ve gotten yourself in the situation you were in just now… kneeling between Marks legs and pulling of his pants. Well actually you knew how, you just didn’t imagine it would come to this.

The evening started out by you and a group of your closest friends meeting up at Arin and Suzy’s house for a night of games and drinks. This group also included Mark who you had a giant crush on but didn’t dare to admit so.

After a lot of games and a few to many drinks someone had suggested to play adult truth or dare which at the time seemed like an hilarious idea. But since no one knew how to get the game started Suzy quickly downloaded some random app and typed in all the names of the people that were playing.

Keep reading

PROMPTS

  1. “For fucks sakes guys, we aren’t dating!!”
  2. “Why would you prank me like that?!”
  3. “So you love me?”
  4. “If you die on me, I’ll kill you”
  5. “Did you just flirt with me?” “Yeah, I have been for the past 8 months. Thanks for noticing”
  6. “Please don’t leave me”
  7. “I love you but if you do that again, I’ll murder you”
  8. “Can you stay with me please?”
  9. “Do you want a lift?”
  10. “You’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you need”
  11. “I dare you to kiss me”
  12. “I hate you” “Sure you do”
  13. “You’ve been my best friend for years and I’ve been in love with you for years”
  14. “So do you come here often?”
  15. “Can I draw you please?”
  16. HE’S your brother?”
  17. “Shut up” “Make me”
  18. “I love you but I can’t be with you”
  19. “If we get out of this alive, wanna go out with me?”
  20. “I scared s/he will take you away from me”

Send a number and a character. Also if you want an exact concept then send that too

CHARACTERS I’LL WRITE FOR

  • Richie Tozier
  • Eddie Kaspbrak
  • Mike Halon
  • Bill Denbrough
  • Stanley Uris
  • Henry Bowers
  • Patrick Hocksetter
  • Mike Wheeler
  • Lucas Sinclair
  • Will Byers
  • Dustin Henderson
  • Steve Harrington
  • Billy Hargrove
  • Finn Wolfhard
  • Noah Schnapp
  • Gaten Matarazzo
  • Caleb McLaughlin
  • Joe Keery
  • Dacre Montgomery
  • Jack Dylan Grazer
  • Wyatt Oleff
  • Jaeden Lieberher
  • Chosen Jacobs
  • Nicholas Hamilton