i’ve been really absent these last few weeks and i’m sorry. i’m just lost. i’m so lonely and sad and unhappy. i crave human interaction and intimacy because literally the only people i talk to is my family. all of my friends live crazy far from me. across different corners of the country.
idk i just want to feel safe and happy and content with how i’m living my life but i just feel hopeless and useless and SO SCARED that i’m not going to amount to anything ever. also my mom only talks to me when she wants to remind me i’m on a diet. and she’s one of the only people i talk to. so clearly i’m in a great headspace right now.
i just want to graduate college and live near my best friends and have a job that makes me feel safe. i want to fall in love with someone and cuddle with them and open up to them and be comfortable aroundthem. i want to be intimate.
i want more friends. tbh i have all the friends i could ever need but they all live a 16 hour plane ride away. my anxiety made me cut myself off from all my high school friends. none of my college friends give a shit about me. i want to be happy again.
OH AND i want to stop feeling sorry for myself. lmao.
I was trying to walk home from work (which is like 20 minutes from my house) and some guys crossed onto my side of the road holding n they were holding loads of booze n stuff n asked if i wanted to come n party with them n i said i was going home and one guy asked for a hug and i just laughed it off n said no and kept walking and they followed me and the same guy asked if i would give him my phone number i lied and said i had a boyfriend so the guy fucking comes up behind me and kicked at my feet and shoved me down to the ground and told me that im not even that pretty and i could hear his friend telling him to leave me alone n then they left I’m fucking sobbing i feel awful i hate men
So, I’ve been dealing with this for the past week. I am unmercifully reporting all artwork I find that is not posted by me. I was made aware of someone who stole my Nathalie comic I did forever ago. I made the mistake of asking them to take it down instead of immediately reporting it. They responded that they would give me credit, so it didn’t matter. I insisted that they remove it, as they did not have my permission to upload it and if they wouldn’t remove it, I would report it. Their response? It was my fault for not watermarking it in the first place. Obviously, talking to them was a mistake.
As you can see from the screenshots above, every time I have reported it and it has been taken down, they put it right back up. This time, without credit at all. I’m frustrated but I am stubborn and very very petty. I am going to keep reporting this person.
I have never been involved in a fandom before. This is the first time I have actively shared anything on line. For the most part, the Miraculous Ladybug fandom has been supportive and sweet. I have so many wonderful followers who leave nice messages and are invested in me as an artist. I’ve never really had that before and it means so much to me.
However, I am not tolerating any reposts at all anymore. It is my fault for not watermarking my stuff. Until only recently, I just barely managed to remember to sign my artwork. Going forward, I’m sticking a watermark on it. It sucks that its necessary, and its not going to stop the reposts. Its only going to give me credit where people won’t.
I created a usage page for people who wanted to use my art. I love dubs, I love amvs, and I love when people want to use them creatively for that. Most of the people asking to use my art won’t read it. And they won’t follow it. Going forward, its not allowed anywhere except where I allow. I’m tired of recieving private messages that basically say, “Hey! I love your art! Can I post it _____?”
This person is still doing it. They won’t stop. And the mentality that my art isn’t my own because I didn’t stick my name all over it is ridiculous. Even more so that art is free to use just because it is online is disrespectful. One thing I did find hilarious was this:
This is their profile on Wattpad (I went looking to make sure none of my art friend’s or any more of mine was stolen). I can’t understand how you feel so entitled to art that you ask that your words aren’t stolen yet reporting you is unacceptable.
I will keep reporting my artwork. And I will keep producing artwork. And I be protective over my artwork.
To my followers that read through this:
Those of you that follow me because you are invested in my art, Thank you. Your support and encouragement is so wonderful and important to me. Also, don’t harass this person. I will continue to report them and take care of it myself.
To those of you that followed me to use my art and to repost it: Unfollow me and block me. I’m tired of being used for your popularity. I’m selfish and my art is for me. I didn’t draw it to bring you followers.
Busy weekend finishing up commissions from the past few weeks. I also whipped up my friends birthday present and he manages to somehow see this prematurely, even tho he’s never on Tumblr anymore…. whoever shows him is dead to me *suspiciously glares at followers*