Things college students say: first week

A: wow, why are you dressed all fancy today?
B: (in a blouse & jeans) i wanted to make the first day of the semester special!
A: It’s thursday.

Honest question: What do you change more often, your bra or your hair colour?

A: Oh cool, you’re in this class too? Why didn’t you tell me?
B: I just decided on my schedule yesterday

I really need to finally do the dishes. *holds up two rags* which one looks cleaner?

A: You took this class last year, right? Was it hard?
B: I don’t remember
A: Was the material good?
B: I dunno but i can find it on my hard drive if you want
A: …..what grade did you get?
B: I’d have to look that up.

Ugh. If one more idiot ends his lecture with ‘We see us then next week’ I’ll personally start giving mandatory english lessons just for profs

My code for this project was so good, they asked me to present it! I should drunk-code more often

A: Hey, do you guys still have my moving boxes?
B: Yeah, they’re our kitchen at the moment. How soon do you need them?”




-Aunt May. the ultimate cock block

-being with Peter when Tony shows up and Tony making all sorts of comments about how Peter not only has a hot aunt, but a hot girlfriend too?

-staying in New York while Peter goes to ‘fight team Cap’ because you have school

-Peter would totally be skyping, texting and calling you 24/7

-maybe even during the fights

-”wait a sec metal arm guy, my girlfriend is calling. hey Y/N! what am i doing right now? well theres this guy with this huge metal arm and- wooooah! stop throwing things at me! can’t you see im on the phone?!”

-”hey babe, you know that old movie with the giant things that walk and the spaceships that wrap stuff around their legs? yeah! Starwars! i should have remembered the name, thanks babe.”

-i dunno, he seems like a ‘babe’ guy

-adorable awkwardness

-but you fit so perfectly together when you hug

-he’d love giving you piggy back rides

-adorable cuddles

-he would love burrowing his face against your neck and kissing your neck and just… neck.

-if you ever wanted to put yourself in harms way he would totally just spider web you to things.

-”its too dangerous.” “nah i’ll be fine… Peter. did you just spiderweb me to the door?” “yes???”


-him teaching you computer stuff

-”you sure you’re not bored by all this computer stuff?” he would ask. you would say no. 

-holding hands

-long walks around Queens because yes

-he would know all the super cool places

-Aunt May would loooove you

-you’d be invited to every dinner at that house

-Aunt May would make you little food take home bags

-OH MY GOSH! you and Peter would be ‘love bugs’ (get it? because he’s a spider *insert troll face*)

-endless honey moon phase

-being dorks

-being nerds

-being who you are with each other, no need for false fronts

-i love you, i love you, i love you


requested by anon

Edited verison to fix some stuff I wasn’t happy with c:

“And Phil’s done! I’m really annoyed though because I drew it on such a small canvas by mistake so it’s all small and pixely when you zoom in. Ah well, what ya gonna do? xD I dunno weather I prefer this or the Dan drawing, I’m pretty proud of both to be honest considering they’re my first ever digital portraits. This did take longer though as I purposely chose a more challenging photo. amazingphil 

Tag Phil so he can see this? I really want him to <3”

beatles quotes

Press: Does it bother you that you can’t hear what you sing during concerts?
John: No, we don’t mind. We’ve got the records at home.

Press: How do you feel about teenagers imitating you with Beatle wigs?
John: They’re not imitating us because we don’t wear Beatle wigs.

Press: The French have not made up their minds about the Beatles. What do you think of them?
John: Oh, we like the Beatles. They’re gear.

Press: Why is it that you, Ringo, get more fan mail than the others?
Ringo: I dunno. I suppose it’s because more people write me.

Press: Ringo, what started your practice of wearing four rings at once?
Ringo: Six got to be too heavy.

Press: Do you often see your father?
Paul: No actually, we’re just good friends.

Press: Some people say your haircuts are un-American.
John: Well that’s very observant of them, because we aren’t American, actually.

Press: What do you think you’ve contributed to the music business?
Ringo: Records

so here’s something I don’t get. in fandom, when people make a post about how great and/or totally canon their ship is, often they’ll support their claim by saying something along the lines of “see how much they care about each other??? they care TOO MUCH to be JUST friends.”

and I dunno. that bothers me. is there some imaginary line, then, some limit of how much a friend is allowed to care before suddenly their affection is romantic? are you saying that, as an aromantic, I will never be able to love my friends as much as a significant other might? that if I say I would go to hell and back for my friend I’m either lying or in love with them? that no matter what I do, the love I have for my friends will never be enough simply due to its nature?

I just don’t get why friendship is made out to be such an inferior thing.




  1. you carry stars in your pockets like you have stretched the universe tight around your soul. when i fall, they spill out of your pockets as you try to help me up and i spend years in my head trying to make constellations until my eyes hurt. when i close them, you are still there.
  2. your touch is as soft as the feathers on my back; i sit on the bathroom counter and daydream even though it’s night. you tape the gaps in my wings, and i try to ignore the way your fingers burn. 
  3. you kiss me like you have forever and a day and i only have a few hours. i am a dripping candle and you the sun, so bright i can hardly bear to look at you, but you kiss me again and i forget every warning my father told me.  
  4. there is no happily ever after; there is only you, with fire in your veins and hands dusted with the ashes of what is left of me.
fucking roasted
  • *Alfred and Arthur walking the streets of London*
  • *Random businessman walks up, doesn't recognize Alfred*
  • Businessman:Cheerio, Arthur! good to see you! Arthur, mate, you would not believe the day i just had, hashing out a business deal with the thickest Americans i ever saw. Ugh, even thinking about it kills off a few more brain cells. Dunno why God thought making an entire country of people that bloody stupid was a good idea, but hell, they're a poor buncha suckers i'll tell you what.
  • Arthur:*Looks at him like he's lost his mind, and looks back at Alfred, who looks like he could really do with a bit of murder right now.*
  • Arthur:uh, chap, you do know who this gentleman with me is, ri-
  • Alfred:*whips out an absolutely flawless English accent* -No, love, I've got this. Oh mate, you don't need to tell us that, those poor bastards couldn't find their collective way out of a wet paper bag.
  • Businessman:I know! and they're so fucking fat!
  • Alfred:Oh of course! Living there is like being guaranteed a heart attack at twenty-two. Land of the fat, home of type two diabetes.
  • Businessman:Exactly! And not a brain cell between the lot of them.
  • America:Denser than pig shit, those poor blokes.
  • Businessman:I know, right? I pity them all, but damn they're a damn good easy source of income. Arthur, I like this friend of yours. Your name, sport?
  • Alfred:*shoots business guy a nasty evil grin, and the accent is fucking gone* Alfred F. Jones, representation of the United States of America, pleasure to meet you.
  • Businessman:...... w-what? *Looks like he could shit himself.*
  • Arthur:.... *trying so hard not to laugh*
  • Alfred:Thanks for this insight into my stupid, fat, gullible country, man. I'll be sure to try and fix that, and to protect those poor moronic Americans, I declare that business deal of yours null and void, along with any others that might have come in the future. A man of your obviously advanced intelligence shouldn't take advantage of my wee little imbeciles, right?
  • Businessman:I-I, I didn't, I d-didn't know sir-
  • America:*another nasty smile* -Oh I know you didn't. Now you do.
  • Businessman:S-sir, I, I was just....
  • America:Kidding? That's cool. I wasn't, now get out of my face before i show you exactly what I can do with these 'stupid, fat, gullible' fists of mine. And I'd pull your business out of my country, if I were you. Just saying. Buh-bye now!
  • *Businessman scurries away, Al and Artie walk away too*
  • Alfred:Asshole...
  • Alfred:....
  • Arthur:...
  • Arthur:I love it when you get all devious like that, gets me all tingly inside
  • Alfred:Happy to please babe

For the people complaining about the Musical like…..calm down. “It’s gonna be hard to take the show seriously” no it isn’t. Let them have fun with it, DCTV was blessed with an assload of multitalented actors and now they’re gonna give a treat to the fans who wanted this to happen. You don’t have to watch it, it probably won’t take away from the plot of the show. A lot of the actors are excited to do this and I’m excited to see what they do with it, to see how they’ll have fun with it. I dunno…I just feel like…there’s nothing problematic about it? It’s not offensive…what harm can really come of seeing Jesse motherfucking L. Martin in a musical again?? I mean…like forreal don’t watch it if you don’t wanna see it but like let other people enjoy this. 



So going off of humming-fly‘s comic, Ford seemingly overcomes his madness and joins his brother and a boat trip around the world. And everything is all behind them.

or is it? maybe his madness just grows, and he just learns to hide it better. liiiiiike acting like you don’t have a car in the world? or maybe wearing tinted sunglasses perhaps? those pesky bags under your eyes tend to give stuff away.

just some musings on the sea hobo au. see previous

What the hell, Stan?

So, I was really hyped for the new episode “Northwest Mansion Noir”, but I was even more hyped to see Grunkle Stan, cuz, ya'know, I need my daily dose of Hunkle. 

Now, these are my thoughts throughout the episode (regarding Stanford).

Me: We didn’t see him in the trailer, but I know he’s gonna be in the episode, he’s been in every epi so far. Nnngh, can’t wait!

Me: Aww, look at that satisfied lil’ bastard, his face is adorable. I’m guessing Stan’s gonna join him or claim back his chair?

Me: No? Okay, well, he’s gotta at least check out what all the commotion and cheering is about.

*No signs of Stanford so far*
Me: Well, that’s odd. Oh, he’ll give the twins (+Candy, Grenda) a ride to the NW mansion! Any second now we’ll see his red STNLYMBL drive through the gates and hit a fancy statue that Stan’s not gonna pay for, right?

*gates close*

Me: Aaallllllrrrrrrighty then, no STNLYMBL….But he won’t let the kids go to the biggest party of Gravity Falls without a semi-responsible grown up, right? …..Right?

*No Stanford*

Me: Apparently, he will. And he did. Goddamnit, Stan!

Me: Uh, maybe, he’s…in….the….flashback? I mean, he’s old! Not exactly 150 years, but, um….I….He..uh…timetravel?


Me: *sigh* No timetravel……Where the dickens in he then? Is he outside the gates with the other citizens of Gravity Falls?

Me: What the fudge, man? Where are you?

Me: The gates are open! Surely, he won’t miss out on this! The Northwests are RICH! Stan could steal a fortune! He’d steal everything!

*Still no Stan*


Me: …..wut?…..Wha…why…wat…he….He’s gotta be there, somewhere, ya'know, stealing silverware.*slowly starting to panic*

*Nope, he ain’t at the party*

Me: *eye twitch*…….Okay, okay, everything is okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s like  "The Society of The Blind Eye" where he doesn’t play a big part in the episode, but he’ll definately be in the end credits doing something epic with the portal or whatnot.

*End credits have the agents fighting like a married couple, still no signs of Stan*

Me: ….


*The last frame of the episode is shown, I quickly decode it, hoping for something good*

*end page says: Stan is not what he seems*


Lena: Say it again before I have to leave.

Widowmaker: Hon hon alright cherié.

Widowmaker, in her seductive voice: “Omelette du fromage”

*Lena walks off, slight nosebleed, and flustered beyond all reasonable measure*

*Pharah approaches Widowmaker*

Pharah: Why do you say that to her, anyways?

Widowmaker: I dunno. I guess she really likes omlettes.

Pharah: Isn’t that weird, though? At least worth bringing up.

Widowmaker: Fine. And you should have to approach Zeigler about her little Devil outfit she wears when she “disciplines you” everyone once in a while.

Pharah, flustered: How do you-

Widowmaker: The visor. It’s amazing what you’ll see when you swing around town seeing through walls.

Pharah: …

Widowmaker: …

Pharah: Alright then. I’m done here.

Widowmaker: Mhmm.

TUMBLr being closed?

I keep hearing news about tumblr being closed soon enough cuz of yahoo. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m going to do. I’ve posted more art here than any other site I’ve used and I’ve spent most of my time here. I even got new friends and met lots of amazing people here.
How can I cope with losing this?
I dunno where I would even go since I would be starting at zero once again.
No it’ll be worse.
I might not get to see you guys again.
People I’ve followed even. I might not get to remember them cuz I can’t track back.
They would have disappeared from my life…..
If there’s anything I want right now, it’ll be having tumblr stay online and open to everyone.
I don’t want it to be closed. Lots of stuff already happened to me this year and I don’t think I might handle more up problems like this.
Someone save tumblr.

imagine what it must be like to be famous

to have people talking about you 24/7 and following everything you do and drawing you and pairing you with other people and wanting to meet you and staring at pictures of you for long periods of time and want to dress like you and talk like you and act like you

but also hating you and misunderstanding you and criticizing every little thing you do and telling other people how horrible you are and laughing at you looking away when they see pictures of you and judging the way you dress and the way you talk and the way you act

shit’s weird, man


@stardustgalaxy  :Oh man I hope you’re still doing the emoji challenge, your art is so cute~!!! I couldn’t decide between Luffy or Ace for A6… Ahahaha… -u-“ can you do one for A6 please? 

My art is not cute..! It’s manl- Thank you UvU

The rest is for @ace-bae​ and @tsunagirl​ :>

Things I’ve Actually Said on Skype Sentence Starters
  • My fiancée has a nice ass, I do say.
  • She/He may or may not have slapped her/him on the ass nonchalantly.
  • I have access to Klondike bars.
  • I have two gangs actually.
  • Oh my gode.
  • Did you see that risqué goddess?
  • Help me boobs are trying to add me on skype.
  • It’s not my fault I’m the mean asshole who protects everyone.
  • Nerd is a term of endearment.
  • I dunno if you wanna know the extent of creepy but like. CREEPY.
  • Well, I wouldn’t be your type if I was a guy/girl.
  • Okay, I have a LOT to say about this one bitch.
  • I mean, I’m in a polyamory.
  • I got hit in the face by a gatorade bottle.
  • I am in in bed refusing to grace my family with my glorious presence.
  • Did you know gay guys grab ass way differently than straight guys?
  • Yes, welcome to hell. Do you want a name card or plate?
  • Yes. This old woman is cute.
  • I’m an exciting grandma.
  • Grandma is sexy and she knows it.
  • Grandma’s have a very late rebellious phase.
  • I obviously went through a gender change and had many facelifts.
  • It was a bit shady and in the back of an RV, I have my regrets.
  • I may or may not have had a fling with Santa.
  • Grandma’s a slut, dear.
  • I’m not committed enough to drop a few thousand on a nice computer.
  • Ignore them, they are lil’ fuckbois.
  • Holy hella they are hot– I’m like, ten times gayer than before.
  • Holy lord jesus, light the way, boy do I need the trinity today.
  • What was heterosexuality again? Oh right, it doesn’t exist in my vocabulary.
  • I found more nudes and I’m steadily going more gay.
  • This is why women are gay. These women.
  • Laughing my damn ass… in?
  • Humans aren’t supposed to be this perfect.
  • I’m half Canadian I can’t punch you.
  • I’d slap you if I weren’t half Canadian.
  • I’m a slut for minor characters who die traumatically.
  • My friend wants me to dye my hair blue… Why? It’s the warmest color.
  • Being ‘cute’ is the reason I’m single, I’m supposed to sexy and/or hot.
  • Believe it or not– I’m a teenager stuck in an adults body refusing to grow up.
  • Now I know why all my friend drag me to those damn movies. They fucking hide in my shoulder.
  • I mean I know they drag me to haunted houses so when they are just done they can hop on my back and hide while I hiss at pervs.
  • My class mate just called me to yell at me in French and then asked if she got it right.
  • I exploded hot dogs like.. We put them in the microwave and they just… ‘Sploded.
  • I have a pound of beef jerky to aid me in my struggles.
  • No cannibalism, I am not food. I like to breathe.
  • Cortana is the new bae. CortanaForQueen2k15.
  • Don’t ask me– I’m high on oxygen.
  • Yuri manga is literal gold like– Yaoi ain’t got shit on this stuff.
  • There’s this zombie in this book… It said, “Do you know how I like to eat people? I like to eat the scrotum, and then the brains.” And now I’m feeling very violated and I’m a woman.
  • You’re not allowed to confuse me with emotions and boob.

Person: Do you even like Jared Padalecki? What’s you’re favourite character of his then?
Me: …. I dunno. Probably Dean.
Person: Ha! See I knew you weren’t a real fan. His characters name is Sam. Dean is his brother.  
Me:  ಠ_ಠ