I-DONT-KNOW

I typed out a really long post just now announcing an indefinite hiatus, but I take it back, because I don’t actually want to leave, I just want to strip things back a bit. I don’t mean to go full ham but some warning needs to be given before I change anything.

The long and short of it is:

  • I’m not going to feel bad about Chu being ridiculous and unbelievable, because she was never supposed to be realistic. this is what I tell myself nyeHehheh
  • I’m going to stop diluting her and reigning her in; she’s been getting a bit dull and lethargic. I’ve been doing that a lot because I’m personally paranoid about what other muns will think of her actions. I shouldn’t be bothered about this, though; if someone confuses her thoughts for mine, or assumes we agree on anything, they’re the fool. I’m sorry Chu pls don’t hate me
  • Continuing from the above, from now on, if you talk to her like a little bitch, she’ll treat you like one. I know she’s difficult at times, but Chu is not naturally hostile, and if your muse hasn’t seen her being a brat first hand, there’s absolutely no reasonable excuse for them to be talking to her like they just scraped her off their shoe when they literally just met and have no previous association (unless your muse just does that as a normal part of their character, of course). 
  • I’m probably still going to be slow as hell because I won’t be able to just switch her back on ;,c

All ship statuses are zero’d, if anyone still wants to do this, it needs to be re-negotiated because these are only small alterations to her character but they’ll make a difference.

Finally, thank you so much to all the people who are still here even though I’m nothing but a head of cabbage in an outfit just trying to administrate the adventures of a bag of trash in a better outfit. 

I really would have just deleted without some of you (you know who you are, you buncha scrubs, don’t make me get all Gwyneth Paltrow about it), which, I don’t know if anyone would care, but it shows you how much of an effect people can have without even meaning to, and I do appreciate it. <3

I’m going to go and maybe think of some ways to patch up my relationship with said trashbag now. umbasa

i might take a hiatus because i’ve been feeling kind of frustrated and i don’t know, i don’t get that much joy out of blogging anymore and i wish i did… i also don’t feel like i have a super strong relationship with you (my followers/mutuals) anymore and that makes me sad and i don’t know how to fix it so i might just leave so i don’t have to think about as much anymore.

i think that i have a lot of symptoms of being abused as a child but that might just be the emotional abuse i got in like,,, 8th grade? but it doesnt explain everything and i dont think i want to know if theres anything else. but it could also be just anxiety manifesting weirdly or me being constantly suspicious of the people around me? this is so hard? im so confused and im probably just making this up lmao

The Signs (based on people I know):

Aries (brother): A dreamer. Lost in his ambitions and relentlessly motivated. Won’t give up at the first sign of trouble. His charisma draws people to him like a magnet. Which is great, because he’s a natural leader. He’s also wildly passionate. It’s contagious. This leads to both intense moments of hilarious, overwhelming joy, and epic tantrums and arguments. He can also be selfish. He cherishes his place in the universe and wants to make the most of his time here. A lot of the time that means looking out for himself and his wants, desires, and needs.  

Taurus (childhood friend): Loyal. She found her people in life and stands by them. If she thinks you’re special, she won’t give up on you. Her loyalty also spreads to her opinions, values, and beliefs. In other words, she’s stubborn as hell. Once she’s decided, there’s usually no swaying her.

Gemini (ex friend): A little wild. She loves the spotlight, talking, and connecting with as many people as possible. She’s intellectually driven. She’s witty and imaginative. She’s also pretty superficial. She really values being the center of attention and often does anything she can to stay there. She’s cunning, impulsive, and restless. Pretty scary when she’s mad, as you know she’s scheming. But she’s also beautiful. The way she knows what to say, her talent, her smile. Devious little girl.

Cancer (a friend who’s always fascinated me): The most perfect girl I’ve ever known. She has the most beautiful personality and cares so deeply about everyone she comes across. She’s humble, loyal, and so dependable.  She feels so deeply that she can often fall into moody spirals. But she never brings anyone down with her. She’s a protector, a nurturer, the greatest friend you could ever wish for. A beautiful soul.

Leo (the boy I like): He’s the sun. Bright, radiant, and alluring in every way. He’s the social center of every space and people naturally gravitate towards his warmth and charisma.  He’s a beacon, and he knows it. There’s no doubt that he’s self-absorbed. But he’s also ambitious, generous, and so encouraging. He definitely cares about the people in his life, he just cares about himself more. He has places he wants to get to. He has stages he needs to command, and he’ll do what he needs to get there.

Virgo (me): I’m meticulous, I’m observant, I’m nervous, I never stop working. I like spending time with myself, I like making lists, I like doing things the way I want them done. And I can be arrogant. Sometimes I think I’m the only person who can do it right. But I care so deeply for people. I empathize, and I want to help. I want to sort through problems. I like leaving my friends, my family, and my work better than I found them. Everything I do is within myself. I rarely seek guidance, and I only speak when I feel I have something valuable to say. So I drive myself crazy worrying and stressing over these minute details. These things that don’t matter, but I can’t seem to look past. Problems and feelings build up because I don’t say anything. I don’t like conflict. My mind is always in use and I don’t know how to relax. I’m weird, and I love the process.

Libra (my best friend): Social, hilarious, and commanding. She thrives in exciting situations. She loves adventure and the beauty in the world. Everyone loves her. Everyone. She knows how to adjust to any personality, and can connect with anyone on some level. She definitely knows how to work a room. She can also, at times be finicky and unreliable. She follows her passion and is prone to sporadic changes of plans. She has an excellent intellect but still remains easy going and relaxed in personality. Truly a balancing act.

Scorpio (an old friend): Extremely observant. She remembers the small things. If you’re nasty to her, she’ll go as far as to seek vengeance. But the small acts of kindness never go unnoticed either. And she’ll repay you with her time and love. She’s loyal to the extreme. And in certain situations can become obsessive and jealous in relationships. I feel, at times, this person has been misunderstood. What some have seen as fanatic, crazy behavior, I always saw just saw as passion. She’s definitely a wild card.

Sagittarius (an old crush): He can come off as unemotional, and uncaring. But really, if he doesn’t see anything in you, he’d just rather be alone. He’s not one for shallow relationships or small talk. And I think most of the time, he just values his alone time. He likes adventuring by himself and having time alone to think. But when you do break through and get to know him, he’s encouraging, funny, and will do anything to make you smile. He selects his people to love carefully, but loves fully once he does.

Capricorn (my mentor): This person has always been patient and understanding with everything I’ve done. He’s great to talk to when you’re down, and always has something helpful and insightful to say. He’s sympathetic, but not overly emotional. He’ll draw out a practical solution, and give intelligent, well-thought out advice, but doesn’t dwell on feelings for too long. He’s intriguing to me. I know there’s always something going through his mind, and I soak up every moment he chooses to spend with me. Probably the most mysterious person I’ve ever known.

Aquarius (the girl that’s always terrified me): She’s wild, rebellious, and uninhibited. Everything that I’m not. Every interaction with her has been filled with sarcasm and wit. She has a hard, unemotional exterior that pairs perfectly with her defiant ways. She’s beautiful, unpredictable, and probably a lot of fun.

Pisces (most of my friends, oddly enough): My Pisces friends are accepting, compassionate, and true people lovers. They’re sensitive and fantastic advice givers. I’ve noticed that I can’t let them take on too many of my problems, or they’ll become wrapped up in the issues as if they’re their own. Their empathy is probably their best quality. They’re also incredibly easy going. They’d much prefer a low key night in than a wild party. They always trust their gut. They go where the wind takes them, and makes decisions based on what feels right rather than the cold, hard facts of a situation. Day dreamers.

Jasper: “Sooo… This is what you read, huh?” Peridot: “Aw c'mon Jasper! Give it back!…and get off from me… I can’t breath.” Jasper: “He he but Peridooot… This is Sooo dirty, babe. I can’t believe that you looking this” Peridot: “ WHAT!? Wait, what are you talking about!? Its just Tumblrr, Damn! Jasper: "Yer are veery nasty, little peridot <3” Peridot: “Oh gosh… Just get off.” (ò\\ó) *What are you looking, little peridot?* Haha a stupid dialogue, I know :z (Sorry for my inglish)