Despite the recent confession I made on facebook about what happened to me…I think I’m finally coming down from the high of letting it out.
In 2007, I was stalked, molested, and mentally abused by a classmate. I was looking to make friends with him. He saw a girl he cold control.
In 2008 I went to a new school. Friendless. Alone. I entered a mentally and physically abusive friendship. I allowed once again to let someone control me.
Yesterday, I came out with some of my story on a video.
Yes, I have freed myself of his hold over me.
But. The memories, the ones I still have, knowing I have blacked out most, that is all still very much there.
The sense of closure, telling people you were molested…admitting what happened…it feels so…amazing. But now, now I deal with the aftermath.
While yes, overwhelmingly I feel new, free, I know I am still in a sorts trapped by one persons actions.
From his abuse of me, I became stronger. I gained a voice. From two people who used me, I learned to stop allowing them to take what they want from me. He saw a girl who was naïve, innocent. The other (a very abusive friend) saw a broken girl, friendless and desperate. They used me. Back to back. But they never expected that they could take my broken wings, and give me the reason to fly again.
Yes, I will never fully forget what they did. No, I will not allow the abuse to harbor or stop me. I took their abuse. Mental. Physical. Invasive. Wrong. I turned it to make me the strong force to be reckoned with.
It may have taken me nearly ten years to speak up, but I finally found my voice. I am FREE.
So, this banishment spell was devised in part by nightkunoichi, (she’s amazing; check her blog out) and then edited by me. I was dealing with an abusive ex who I ran back to, over and over again. This spell was to banish him and thoughts of him, and then cleansing myself of his negativity. It was done in a pinch, so it definitely can be improved, but I wanted to share it.
Here’s what you’ve got to do:
1. Get a blank piece of paper. Write the name of the person you want to banish in the middle in black ink. Envision the black ink soaking up all of the negativity and pain that this person has brought you.
2. Using red ink, draw spikes around the name, with the points facing towards the name. Envision these spikes as anger and rage that will lash out and wound him or cripple him from further action.
3. Using blue ink, draw a circle around all of it, so that it creates a container, a cage around the person, the pain of the past, and their possible actions to you. Imagine that this blue ink shield is unbreakable, and if he triggers the spikes, they are trapped in there with him.
4. Use black salt to make a circle around the paper
5. Set your intent completely, and release the spell by setting that paper on fire. That’s right, burn it. Burn it to ashes.
6. Say these words (or something to this effect):
Mind, heart, and soul all agree,
(insert person’s name here) can no longer be part of me,
They are gone and I am free,
With these words, so mote it be.
7. Sweep away or wash away the ashes. Don’t touch them, just get them away.
8. Thank any spirits/deities you may have summoned, and light a smudge stick or some other way to cleanse.
The last picture is the end result before I washed it all away. The best part? A storm was rolling in. I also made a sigil for myself to add to the freedom enforcement.
I hope that this helps any of you fantastic Tumblr witches, and thank you for reading it. If you have any questions or suggestions, my ask box is always open!
So anyone remember that post I made a long time ago about that scifi thing I remembered the plot from when I was like 5 but couldn’t remember what it was from? About the tentacle aliens with one eye and the telepathic genie lady and the dude on the doctor table who was the only one who could see these things?
AFTER YEARS OF TORMENT, I finally posted on the right community online and they fucking FIGURED IT OUT. My agony over this has ended and I am not crazy and did not make this up or dream it! It was not The Crawling Eye or Dr. Who, but rather a 2 part episode of Space 1999 entitled The Bringers of Wonder.
Let me introduce you to those aliens. THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.