it’s not like i’m on fire. i sort of miss being on fire. when i was on fire at least i knew it wasn’t just me, that my illness was alive, scorching. there were claw marks in everything. it was so bad it was a brand. everyone could see, you know? but now i am just lazy. now there’s nothing but empty. now i’m an adult and i’m handling thing. the fire is still burning, it’s just that most people die from the smoke inhalation, you know? like i look fine. but my lungs don’t work. i’m saying i fucked up and my future is dying. my dreams are curled up somewhere, smothered. i’m handling it really well. everything looks good. i think. it’s just i can’t even feel what’s been happening. it’s just i think i should feel what’s been happening, and i would be scared about what this means, but i can’t be. did you know you can be in the burning house and also outside of it at the same time. my therapist says this is disassociation. i tell her. if some part of me is in and some part is out, we both win. it’s just it got too heavy to carry so i left my heart in there. it might actually even be a good thing. i don’t know. i can’t tell. i can’t feel anything.
He didn’t ask, but Cassian rarely did, but she knew that
look meant he was curious. “I’ve only been reading for less than a year, every
so often a word trips me up and today I am just too lazy to go look it up.”
Cassian looked at her, with what she could best describe as
shock, “Tamlin taught you how to read?”
She couldn’t hold back her laughter, “Cauldron no, Rhys
He chuckled before he said, “You poor thing, did he make you
write those stupid sentences too? Those
were the worst. Rhysand is this, Rhysand is that, I wanted to kill him.”
In her best Rhys voice, “Rhysand
is the most cunning High Lord, or my all-time favorite, Rhysand is the best lover a female can ever
“Well Rhys has always been a prick, mine were more along the
lines of Rhysand is the best fighter.”
She shows him the word colonel.
“In all fairness that word does not follow any pronunciation
rules, it is pronounced kernel.”
At dinner that night Cassian couldn’t help himself, “Could
Rhysand the best lover a female could ever dream of, pass the potatoes?”
Anyone else ever get that imposter syndrome-type feeling with their Mental Health Issue™? But like with the negative stuff? Where you’re like “hey maybe all those doctors and psychiatrists and counsellors and special education teachers and pharmacists and other people with big fancy medical degrees were wrong and I don’t have ADHD and I really am just a lazy unmotivated piece of shit.”
And because I know you all crave the UsUk the first pictures of @seloria (Us) and @unique-gentleman (Uk) as low-key (well not so low-key) Hitman!Jones and Assassin!Kirkland However, there will be more photos in the future I am just a lazy bum right now
For @beyondmythought-s who is one of the sweetest human beings that I know. This isn’t your prompt cause I’m trash but I hope you enjoy Jonsa and puppies instead.
“What are you doing?” She jumped, spinning around, a snarky response on the tip of her tongue but her words quickly died at the sight of who it was. Jon was staring at her, his eyebrows quirked up and an expression of bemusement clear on his face. She silently cursed. Of all people to see her now. It had to be Jon. “Well?”
“Nothing!” She said quickly, trying to block his view of the scene she had just witnessed.
“Liar,” was his only response. He moved closer, pushing past her to see what had her so transfixed but loudly cursed at the sight before him. It was Lady and Ghost, surrounded by five little puppies. She was tempted to say that they weren’t Lady’s but it was clear as day who the parents were.
“I was going to tell you,” she said weakly. Jon did not seem to hear her, his mouth wide open and his eyes popping out. She had to stop herself from wincing. She knew that hiding this from him wouldn’t go well. In all truth, she hadn’t meant to hide this. She was going to tell him but one day turned into two and two days turned into a week. How? She did not know. All she knew was that she was in a whole shitload of trouble and had absolutely no excuse for all of this.
“How? I thought? You said. He’s not supposed to be able to have babies!” This time she actually did wince. She had promised that she would take Ghost to the Vets to get neutered and she had been meaning too. Well on her way to the Vets, right outside the door. Ok, half an hour away tops but she had been meaning to go. One look at Ghost’s sad face had, had her peddling back and away from the Vets. It felt cruel to have him neutered like that. It would have practically been illegal if she had gone through with it.
“I was but then something came up.” Jon’s gaze moved away from the pile of puppies and onto her. She laughed nervously and moved away from him. “April Fools!” She shouted desperately, searching for some type of get-away. If anything, Jon looked even less impressed than before.
“Sansa, it’s May,” he pointed out, rubbing a hand down his face. That certainly fell flat.
“Oh Jon, look at how happy they are,” she said, tired of tiptoeing around the topic. Jon’s stare slowly moved towards the furry pile. Lady was asleep but Ghost was beside her, awake and seemingly in awe of the puppies before him. He bent over and licked the head of a pale grey puppy. Jon smiled, a small one but there was a glimmer of pride. She moved towards him, wrapping her arm around his waist. “Our babies have had babies.” He snickered at that, bringing closer into a hug.
“I guess they have,” he said softly, his eyes now gentle and warm. She sighed happily and leaned into him.
“Does this mean we can keep them all?” She asked, peeking through her eyelashes. Jon sighed loudly but nodded. She squealed loudly but quickly shushed at Ghost’s warning stare. She pressed a kiss to Jon’s side. He snickered loudly but wrapped his arms all the tighter around her.
“Our kids have kids,” he finally said, his voice disbelieving and full of awe.
Hello there! I've come with a follow - because this blog is really great - and a question. I want to write a character with ADHD, do you have any advice on how to properly go about that?
Be mindful. ADHD is a real thing—real people are affected by it. Thus, be careful on how you portray your character. Don’t use it to make a character “different.” Don’t ignore facts because they “don’t fit” your character. Don’t give in the stereotypes seen in popular media and dramatize those.
ADHD should not be the defining factor of your character. I suggest to build your character without the label “they have ADHD.” Get their background thought out (at least the general story of it). Give them relationships—what do they think of their parents? Are they romantically involved? Do they make friends easily? Give them an education; give them interests and hobbies and skills; give them a personality with quirks and faults. After that, research on ADHD and look at how ADHD can affect your already developed character. If there are some facts about ADHD that might go against your character’s traits, understand why and think of how to handle them. Don’t ignore these conflicts. Yes, ADHD affects people differently, so it’s possible some symptoms or traits won’t be apparent in your character, but never ignore these facts. Address them. Understand why these symptoms aren’t there.
Drop out of art school and realize you never really belonged there in the first place because Mommy and Daddy can’t fund my first apartment when I’m ~*just trying to figure myself out.*~ I believe that I can do more, more than I’m doing now and more than what the girl down the street is doing. She’s fine, but I could be better! I wanna be better! But envy can’t fuel you and work ethic doesn’t exist when you are Clinically Depressed. How long have I been depressed? The school psychiatrist wants to know. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know what it feels like not to be depressed, ma’am. The first time I cut myself I was 13 years old, and I still to this day don’t know why I started doing it. I don’t know why I do the things I do now. Why I can’t move forward. Why I can’t do Normal Adult Things. Is my depression that paralyzing or am I just a lazy fuck? Feels better to say that I am the way I am because that’s just how my Broken Brain is, but I know it’s not that deep. I know I am not that deep.
Okay so I'm in a bad mood today and I need to vent so...
Here is a list of things that I want people who don’t have a mental disability to shut the fuck up about when talking to people who do:
1. Our sleeping habits.
Yes you may be able to go to bed at 10 and be able to sleep, but it takes me a minimum of 3 hours on a good night to get to sleep because I have ADHD and my brain can’t just shut off.
2. Our workload.
So you have a full time job and have a pet and kids and have a ton of housework to do? Good for you. I’m exhausted after having one meeting a week and just being able to feed my pet every day is an achievement. I am not lazy, I just don’t have the energy or the mental capacity to put myself under as much stress as you can!
3. Our social skills (i.e. “That’s not appropriate” or “you don’t say stuff like that”)
People with Autism don’t generally know how to be anything other than honest. We also don’t know necessarily what things upset people or worry people because they don’t affect us in the same way and I know from experience I don’t always realise I’ve said something wrong.
Fun fact: the way I compare socialising whilst having autism is to a broken coffee filter. Sometimes it works okay and you get a nice cup of coffee, sometimes it doesn’t work at all and while you may want to and try your very best to make coffee all that comes out is beans and while I know it makes you mad I literally can’t help it, other times it’s sort of in between and it’s a lot of strain to make it and there may be a couple of beans there and your coffee may be goop but it’s close enough to coffee again even if it’s not what you are overly happy with.
Would you shout at your broken coffee filter if it didn’t always work 100%? No, you wouldn’t, because you know that it has a “problem” which causes it to malfunction 2/3 of the time! Don’t shout at us or tell us off just because you don’t get exactly what you expect from us, we’re trying!!!
4. Our effort or commitment
We’re not lazy. I don’t know what it’s like to have OCD or Downs Syndrome, or anything that isn’t Autism and ADHD really, but for me I can’t focus on things and I get pressure headaches when I try, which means I now know that if I’m struggling early on I have to stop and take a step back. I need to finish tasks before I move onto the next one which can be as simple as reading a book, and it will take priority over other, apparently more important tasks. I have a routine that I have to keep to and if I haven’t gotten round to the thing you want done yet it’s not because I’m being lazy or putting it off, I’m just trying to fit it into my regular routine without messing that up. And I’m sure there are issues that people with other disabilities can add to this as to why they can’t do certain things that may be simple to anyone else.
Please just leave us the fuck alone. Not everyone can do the things you can and we feel shitty enough about it without you guys getting on at us for it, okay? 👌