I'm-gross

I don’t know why but like… The idea of gentle feedisim? just enthralls me. Just, a loving feeder cuddling with their cubby partner, and giving them compliments and calling them beautiful n’ shit. Having little nicknames like ‘bunny’ and 'sweetie’

I just cannot get over the thought of two datemates sittin’ on a couch and watching some good anime and genuinely enjoying one another. The feeder kissing and rubbing their partners tum when they’re too full….
-///~///-

I’ll be 19 in less than 3 weeks and I have had a crush on the boy I am dating since I was 13. We have been together for almost 3 years but I have admired him 6!!! We have been best friends for 5 of those 6 years. He is an aerospace and mechanical engineering major and I am an art major. A rocket scientist and an artist living in a constant state of harmonious inspiration and questioning emitting an air peacefulness and comfort and acceptance to everyone around us constantly making the other better

b l o o d

there is blood
in my mouth

[it’s everywhere]

i spend days
walking the streets
with my jaws
clamped tightly
trying to stop
the blood spilling out

[but it’s everywhere]

i don’t talk much anymore
the blood has replaced
the words
my heart beats a little too quick
it is trying to pump
all that fucking blood
into my mouth

[everywhere]

she is so lovely
but i have revolted her
i tried to kiss her
& my sweet sticky blood
dripped on our clothes & skin
touching me sickens her

[she doesn’t want me anywhere
the blood is everywhere]

hopefully it will choke me
in my sleep tonight
i am repulsive
remove all blood & love
& her world would be right

so I’ve just accepted I’m not over my ex but also learned that constantly snooping on his life is unhealthy because I need to let him live his life and move on with mine so I’ve deleted him from Facebook and deleted our text convo and I have to remember that I’ve moved on from someone I never thought I would once before and that I can do it again, just gotta be strong and patient yo