I'm sorry! this went kind of long

unteachable || gabe&aria

So, quite honestly, carnivals had never really been Aria’s thing. She was more the girl to stay inside when any get-together involved, well, more than three people. So that was probably the reason why, as she slipped through the crowds littering the streets that night with her hands shoved into her pockets and her jacket wrapped tightly around her petite frame, she gained a few strange looks. It wasn’t that big a town; everybody knew everybody, which meant that she wasn’t exactly surprised at the amused glances she got; and some almost pitying, more than anything, due to how reserved she’d been in the past few years. Ever since her dad died she’d been even more of a hermit, if that was possible. And her dad’s band used to play on the stage in the town square, every annual town carnival; so understandably, although her mother and her brother had braved the tradition pretty soon after his passing, she’d usually stay cooped up indoors with her blinds drawn and the TV on loud enough to disable the sounds of her own thoughts.

No, it wasn’t surprising - but it was still embarrassing. And that was why her head was down, gaze fixed on the floor as she swerved in between drinking townsfolk to make her way toward where she knew her family were at a local friend’s house. However, that probably wasn’t such a good idea now she thought about it, after a callous misjudgement of distance sent her crashing into a taller, stronger individual on her way.
Shit,” she breathed out before she could really stop the vulgarism, her eyes widening as she quickly looked back up to apologize. “I’m so sorry, I-I wasn’t looking. Gosh, I’m sorry.”

Admirer || Closed ||

Admirer || CLOSED || @kyloisaben

Its been a week since she realized that she had a stalker. She told Finn, she didn’t like the word. She preferred.. admirer. As long as the admiring wasn’t too extreme. She believed his name was Ben, a familiar face she saw every day since she moved but never really noticed him. Not his fault really, her mind was always too scattered with dealing with her almost full schedule of classes and two jobs to pay off said classes to notice anyone who wasn’t hello in your face. She was lucky to pick up Finn, a friendly junior who showed her around the first day.

He was the one to point out Ben. The dorms Rey took residence, was the mixed dorm, which landed her three doors up from Ben. Apparently, Finn had been approached by the senior on his way to study with her. Ben had told Finn to not get any funny ideas, a whole spiel. Finn, was concerned, even suggested she stay at his frat house till she could swap dorms. But for Rey, she was able to squeeze the life out of this situation and find the good in it. Her defense: he meant good. Probably. Finn didn’t think so, but knew better then to argue after Rey had set her mind.

All week she had been studying him right back, scanning faces as she walked to class or did homework in the library. She was unnerved that she almost always found him, standing barely out of sight between the bookshelves or getting coffee every morning at the diner she waitressed in on Wednesdays and weekends. If he wasn’t there, he was walking past the mechanic shop, stealing glances as she worked on cars. Still, unnerving.

“Is that him?” She was pulled from her thoughts as her manager spoke, Mr Hux, his red hair laying perfectly so as she peeked past her, out the diner.

 Rey looked through the order window, hearing the bell jingle as Ben walked in. She spied him for a moment, before she looked down to herself to tie her apron on tightly. 

“Hm.” Mr Hux gave her a disgruntled noise, as if to say he disapproves. She ignored her boss though, and went on with starting her shift.

Stepping out to the bar, she began. She booted up the coffee makers, and wiped the counters, before she poured an inconspicuous coffee, two creams, three sugars. Walking around the bar, she placed it in front of the familiar face.

“I can only guess you wanted your usual.” She said, initiating his order first. Usually, it took him a few minutes to get his confidence to call her over so he could order. Besides his other stalker-like tendencies, she could have seen his shyness as cute. 

20. Sober and Thinking Clear

It was hours later when I finally found some time to myself on one of Phil’s balconies, most of the guys had either passed out, went home or were still going hard in the living room and I was neither one of them for once. Sober and thinking clearly…kind of rare on nights like these but I feel like it’s necessary. It was windy but I had a smoke in my hand gradually making the cold go away but it was always there. I could feel my phone ringing in my pocket but I didn’t even bother checking it knowing exactly who it was and I didn’t have the energy to talk to her.

I heard the glass door slide behind me and Ryan walked to me standing next to me leaning on Phil’s railing. “We never got a chance to regroup”

“What- after you shoved me into the kitchen?”

“If I didn’t then you wouldn’t have went in” He shot back and it was probably true. I just shrugged taking another drag. “So how did it go? I noticed there wasn’t any shouting, pan throwing or any storming out in fits of tears so I can only think positive things”

“She doesn’t know if things can ever be good between us again…” I blew out the smoke “She said she needs to think about it. I can’t complain, things have been pretty shit between us for a while.”

“Hmm.” Was all Ryan said gazing out into the night sky. 

Really? Hmm? That’s all you have to say?

Hmm?

“What?”

“I need a little more from you. I need actual words not fucking mumbles.”

“Fine. Okay

I just let out a laugh resting my free hand on my head. “You’ve been shoving your advice down my throat these past few months without a second thought and now of all nights you choose to shut up?”

Ryan raised his eyebrow patiently. “Is this your way of asking for my opinion?”

“…yes.”

“I’m just curious…what is your opinion of when things were good between you two? When you first met? When you lied to her about having a girlfriend. Was it when she found out about Amelia or was it in San Diego when you guys were friends for like a day? Though I don’t think that counts but whatever.” I bit my tongue, he had a point. “I think this promo tour is a good thing so she can think and so can think too, about how things would actually work between you two because it’s failed so many times already. You need to think about what kind of way you want her in your life.”

“Damn…you sure can dish it out.”

He just shrugged with an easy smile “If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen." 

-


"Oh man! Did you see the crowd? They were dancing and everything; they even threw their bra at you, dawg!” Phred wiped the sweat off his forehead with a big smile as we came off the stage of France’s X Factor, those guys are always crazy.

“Yeah, I never really forget when a bra’s thrown in my face mid melody” I said throwing my towel over my shoulders. I loved performing, it was hands down my favourite part of being in this industry, it made the other parts worth it. The paparazzi…the long nights in the studio.

“Hey!” Brian called out cupping his phone “Raye says hi” And he was gone. It’s been over a month and I haven’t spoke to Tina at all, I’m trying to be okay with it but it’s harder than I want to admit, even though these past few months we barely spoke to each other but at least I saw her but since I went on this tour - nada, nothing, zilch, zero. But I know it’s for the best, she needs time to think and I need to be in the right frame of mind for the rest of this tour. We’ve got at least a few weeks left before we’re done, all these added dates and events in other places, London, Germany, Spain blah-blah. But it’s hard thinking about that now when there’s a big chance Raye’s probably with Tina and I don’t have a fucking clue what she’s been up to.

But I had one thing though, it was pretty roughed up from being shoved from bag to bag with those certain pages being worse than others - some drinks being spilled on it during those weird drunken moments when I have the urge to read Tina’s article again. It was Mode magazine when she had her first article, it was about some charity thing called…M…S…something? I can’t remember but it was a good article, it even gave me the urge to donate some money. 

But the one thought I had every time I read it was: she did it. She really did it.

“So I got in contact with one of the studios here and they said you’re more than welcome to use it to record If I Knew but they asked if you can pose for some promo pics…” Ryan came up to me “Hey. You alright bro?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re talking to me. I’ve known something’s been up since you singlehandedly wrote a song on this tour. A pretty good song, I expect Bedroom Bandit material on these tours”

“You promised to never talk about that song. You, Ari, Phil and me. You never mention that song again.” I warned him.

“Alright, fine. But you need to stop with these random faces of deep thinking. It’s suspicious.”

“You say it like I’m not capable of deep thinking” I laughed “…you don’t think I’m deep enough for that, do you?”

“So about the studio?” He changed the subject “I’ll get a car to drop you and the guys to the studio. Lay off the cigarettes.” He tapped me on the shoulders.

“You know the album’s basically done after I finish this song?” I asked. “A year of blood sweat and tears went into that record. We need to celebrate.”

“Fuck yeah.”

“We’re gonna paint this town red.”