I'm really sorry

which of the ace attorney characters you should fight

Phoenix | Who wins: You
He’s a huge wimp, so he doesn’t stand a chance. However, there’s at least a 70% probability that he’ll cry, and you’ll feel like a bully, so really, why would you?

Maya | Who wins: ?
Hey, she’s small and short but who the fuck knows what kind of spirit she can summon. Maybe she’ll summon her sister and her sister would kick the shit out of you for even thinking about this. Maybe she can summon some dead Olympic karate champion, I don’t fucking know. You probably shouldn’t try her.

Pearl | Who wins: ??
She slapped a grown man so hard he fainted when she was EIGHT. On the other hand, the man was Phoenix, so the outcome of this fight is debatable.

Edgeworth | Who wins: You
FIGHT HIM. Do it. Punch him on sight. Break his nerd glasses. Rip his cravat. Stuff him in a locker. He belongs in a locker. He’ll probably sue the shit out of you afterwards but I promise it’s worth it. Please fight Edgeworth.

Franziska | Who wins: Franziska
DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH

Gumshoe | Who wins: You
Yeah, he’s huge but he’s going down. The question is, why would you do that? Why are you such a terrible person? Leave Gumshoe alone, he’s trying his best.

Apollo | Who wins: Apollo, probably
I know he seems small and unintimidating but really, dude’s been slamming his fists into solid wood for a year now and doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest. He might start yelling, and then you’ll have to say goodbye to your eardrums too, so even if you do win, at what cost would that be? Don’t fight Apollo.

Trucy | Who wins: Not you
She can throw knives with alarming accuracy. She probably has saws and swords in her magic show props and you bet your arse they’re all showing up in the magic panties faster than you can say ‘allakazam’. It would be extremely unwise to pick a fight with her. She’s sawn men in half before and would again.

Klavier | Who wins: You, most likely
There’s a big chance he’s taller and stronger than you but who cares. Just punch him. Don’t tell me you never wanted to do it. What’s he going to do about it, anyway, write a sad song? Punch Klavier Gavin in the face while you have the chance. Even if he fights back, you have already won in spirit.

Ema | Who wins: Ema
Look, I don’t know what exactly she can do. She probably can’t fight very well. But if you try to do it I sense a visit to the coroner in your near future.

Athena | Who wins: Athena
She can pick up a man larger than herself and throw him over her head. I don’t think anything else needs to be said here.

Blackquill | Who wins: Blackquill
Trust me, I would love to say ‘yeah, he’s a nerd, fight him’, but there’s no winning for you here. He might be a nerd but he’s also 188 cm tall and he has a sword and a hawk. He spent seven years in prison. And he’ll probably find out your biggest insecurity within a matter of minutes and make fun of you for it. Besides, what’s wrong with you? Dude’s life is hard enough as it is. Just leave him alone, it’s not worth it.

Fulbright | Who wins: Depends on whether it’s really him
But I suggest you punch him, just in case. You never know.

I’m terribly sorry but I need your help again

As some of you might know I have been having a lot of trouble with my old apartment and I got myself into a small dept, because my insurance wouldn’t pay up. Now the thing is as follows: Because I have to pay off this dept I am very short of cash for food and whatnot. To be honest, I have nothing left anymore after having paid the latest instalment. My fridge is absolutely empty and there’s still far too many days until I get my next paycheque… which will probably also end up being used entirely for rent and the next instalment. I can’t ask friends, because they all still live with their parents and don’t have anything themselves either. I don’t even dare to ask. I feel horrible asking this of you people as well but this time I really want to pay the favour back to you. So if you can spare anything that you’re willing to give me, you can choose something on the list below. I know, I don’t have any outstanding talents but that’s what I can offer you in turn for your kindness. Just leave me your name or something I can identify you with in the message box of the paypal donation form and then message me what you’d like in my tumblr inbox with your name or form of identification and I’ll do my best to fulfil your wish. 

So here goes: 

  • Personal fansigns
  • A short version cover of any song you’d like. 

  • A digital or traditional drawing (I suck though so no guaranties on how it will turn out. haha) 

  • A personal letter that I’ll send you 

  • A gif or challenge that I’ll record myself doing


If there’s anything else that comes to your mind that I can do, please leave me a message and I’ll see if it lies within my capabilities! 


If you can spare anything or are interested, here’s the link to my paypal donate page: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=VCNTXJXCJZ6WW

Thank you for your time and putting up with my shit. 

Achilles: So it’s gonna last forever
Or it’s gonna go down in flames

(just kidding, Troy, you’ll burn)
(and so will you, Agamemnon)
(douche)

You can tell me when it’s over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-conquests
They’ll tell you I’m insane
But you know I love the players
And you love the game…