I'm probably just tired

It’s so bizarre to try and explain your love for a celebrity and why something horrendous happening to them (like losing a parent) affects you so much. But like, this person, without question /is part of my life/. They’re in my car with me when I drive to work, they’re in my living room when I’m watching an interview. A piece of them that they spent time and effort to create is with me, it’s making me react, it’s making me feel things. When they talk about the song I drive to work to, I relate to it, I understand it, it connects me to them. When they joke in an interview it makes me laugh, when they tweet about about a feeling I /get/ it.

This love you might have for a celebrity, it’s hard to describe. It’s not the kind of love you’ll have for your family, it’s not the kind of love you’ll have for your best friend. It’s not the kind of love someone in /their/ family or friend circle will feel for them. It’s very different, but it’s still love. It’s there, I can feel it, I know what it is. Love is abstract, you can’t stick a thermometer in my heart and go “nope it’s not love”. It just is. 

In a way, all these little pieces that they’re sharing with the world become part of your life, they’re things you know and feel familiarity towards. Sometimes, when you’re having a bad day this person, without even knowing, might be the only reason you smile. When you’re so anxious the thought of just seeing another person makes your throat close up, they might be the reason you laugh. It’s bizarre because they aren’t consciously aware of it, they don’t know how these things they share are affecting other people. 

So it’s like, Louis, I don’t know you, we’ve never spoken, you wouldn’t recognize me in the street. There’s a whole, huge part of your life I don’t have a clue about, But you’ve been apart of my life for 4 years, you’ve been with me through moments I didn’t want anyone else around. There’s a warmth in my chest because of songs you’ve created and words you’ve said, things you’ve done and faces you’ve made. There’s familiarity, there’s happiness, there’s laughter and /emotion/ in my life because of you. 

 And because of the way you’re a part of my life, in a rather unconventional way, you’re a friend. There’s a relationship that can’t be explained because you have to experience it to understand it, but it’s there, it’s real. And in the same way you make me happy when you laugh or when you sing, I feel sad when you’re sad, my heart aches when you’re hurting. And part of that might just be a symptom of humanity, a reaction we all might have when we hear bad news.

Most of it though, most of it is that because of the person you are, the way you’ve chosen to be, I felt something that drew me to you. That feeling has expanded beyond just a love of what you create, but it’s grown into a love for who you are as a person. most people can’t grasp that, and it’s very challenging to articulate, but it’s there. And so, I want the world for you, I wish I could lessen your pain because without even knowing, you’ve done it for me.

THEY ARE TELLING A DIFFERENT STORY WITH MALEC. HOLY SHIT. YES, WE GOT JACE BEING VERY HETEROSEXUAL AND WITH LOTS OF GIRLS THIS EPISODE, BUT UM, WAS THERE EMOTION? NO?? LIKE WHY IS EVERYONE LOSING THEIR SHIT OVER JACE SLEEPING WITH AND HANGING OUT AT A BAR WITH RANDOM WOMEN? I GENUINELY DON’T GET IT. WTF DOES JACE HAVE TO DO WITH MALEC? WE HAD THREE MALEC KISSES AND AN ALMOST KISS, WHICH FOLLOWED A REALLY BEAUTIFUL MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO. WE HAD BOTH MAGNUS AND ALEC TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER TO SOMEONE THEY TRUST. WE HAD MAGNUS ADMITTING THAT HE IS VULNERABLE AND AFRAID OF LOSING ALEC. THE ONE THING WE DIDN’T GET WAS AN EXPLICIT SEX SCENE. SO YOU GUYS ARE COMPARING THAT TO JACE??? I AM LITERALLY IN AWE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I SEE ZERO CONNECTION BETWEEN THE TWO. JACE WAS AN EMOTIONLESS SHELL THIS ENTIRE EPISODE, AND SOMEHOW YOU’RE ANGRY THAT MALEC DIDN’T GET ENOUGH COMPARED TO HIM? “MALEC-MANIA” DOESN’T JUST MEAN THEM IN BED TOGETHER. WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THEY HAD SEX OR NOT. I CAN’T HONESTLY BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING AND COMPARING THESE TWO VERY UNRELATED ASPECTS OF THE EPISODE. WTF. I’M ALREADY SO TIRED OF SEEING THIS BS ON MY DASH. I’VE TRIED TO BE CALM AND HAPPY AND NICE AND POSITIVE. BUT SERIOUSLY, CAN WE STOP ALREADY?

Remember when the Shadowhunters fandom was positive and happy and filled with love? Yeah, I miss that fandom.

(I’m not saying people can’t be upset that they were tricked into thinking there’d be a sex scene, but I don’t understand how people can relate this to Jace as if Jace wasn’t a mess this entire episode.)

I hate how there’s this double standard in all kpop Fandoms where it’s either like “why are you not trying to learn korean do you not care enough” or “eww you’re trying to learn korean are you a koreaboo??” It’s really tiring tbh

4

#dgraymanweek || Day 1: The Voice of Darkness

⤷  Option B: Manga/Anime 2006 or Anime 2016

2

Oh shoot back at it again with that personality switch au

okay you know what pisses me off? the fact that every other love interest kara has had, it has ended because of things that happen have even to her and mon-el

with adam, she didn’t think it was meant to be because they were always interrupted (via kidnapping or other means). with james, it was the same damn thing. they were getting interrupted constantly. that led her to think that the universe was telling her not to do it, that she wasn’t ready and needed to focus on her

now, i’m not knocking that. i’m knocking the fact that that same shit happens with mon-el. their first kiss was under a poison/drug induced mon-el who pretended it never happened. their other “flirtations” were interrupted or kara showed obvious disinterest. and their latest “thing” was interrupted again. but kara will bend over backwards to make this work, right? because he’s basic straight cis white boy #3 and that’s who she’s meant to be with because oh don’t the cw just love their basic white boys who give nothing to the plot but take everything from the leading ladies and the men of colour who should be getting the screen time (and the girl), and also the lesbians

6

When you marry your brother but it feels more like an adoption of some wild child and you’re a stupid useless teenager trying to raise a stupid useless teenager into a respectable young man.

I really love the Brandenburg-Prussia era so i did some doodles using  ヒラ’s old Brandenburg OC design since my friends really love it..

I’m seeing a lot of angry posts on my dash right now, and I just want to say, just in case this applies to any of my followers:

If you voted third party, or were eligible but didn’t vote, this wasn’t your fault.

Like, they gutted the Voting Rights Act. We ran an unpopular candidate and underestimated her opponent. We have this absurd electoral college system that means you can win the popular vote but still lose. And some small bit of blame probably also goes to the over 50 million people who voted for Trump. There’s a whole complex system of stuff that lost the election. Jill Stein or whoever is nothing compared to that.

“Third party voters” is the excuse Democrats use literally every time they lose an election because blaming the Left is easier than thinking about the real problems we’re facing.

Because I’m feeling sappy and thankful...

I just wanted to like thank you guys for giving me a chance and sticking with me since I started writing on here for you guys. Never did I ever imagine I’d end up with 2,365 followers on here, never did I imagine that I would make such incredible friends and have a group of followers who genuinely care about me and are excited for my next story. 

I’ve been writing and reading fanfiction for years, I have always written it for myself as a way to practice my skills but I never intended to ever share it with anyone. As a reader of fanfiction I have always found writers that I love, found stories that are an incredible adaptation of the source material and have anxiously awaited the next update or the next story from a writer. I never thought that I would be a writer like that for other people. Every single time I have someone tell me that they have notifications on for me, they ask to be tagged in fics or they just tell me they enjoy my work I get so unbelievably happy. 

I have been lucky that my work has been so well recieved by you guys and I am grateful to you all every day for sticking around and not being scared off by my ideas. I’m blown away when I’ve gotten some nasty anonymous messages and then so many of you quickly jump to my defense and tell me not to listen to them. You guys are the greatest and I am just so damn lucky. 

There are a few people I wanted to thank in particular:

@daveeddiggsit I started reading your work long before I even made myself another tumblr (I had deleted my old spn one) and found you by looking through the hamilton tags. I was blown away by you and immediately bookmarked your blog on my phone so I could check for updates and new stories every day. I never imagined that I would end up being such good friends with you. Thank you for being there when I need you, being someone to scream about Daveed with and just being an amazing friend

@imaginebeinghamiltrash thank you for being such an amazing friend. We talk daily and I absolutely love talking to you as much as we do. You make me smile, you cheer me up when I’m sad, you remind me to sleep and eat when I forget and you help me when I doubt myself. Never stop being as amazing as you are. 

@and-peggy-yall you are the past version of me, one of my closest friends on this website and I love you so much. You’re always the best to talk with, you made me sob because of the outsiders which I still love and hate you for introducing me to it. You’re so supportive and I can’t thank you enough for being such a great friend. 

@hamiltonsquills you are there for me every single time that I talk about being unhappy about something on this blog and I love you for it. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and caring so much about me I love you mon cher. 

@wrotemywayoutimagines my darling little sibling, thank you for always being there when I need you, thank you for standing up to hateful anons for me and just being an incredible friend. 

@love-doesnt-discriminate thank you for being there every time I need encouragment or cheering up. You are an incredible friend and I love you for it. 

@adothoe thank you for being someone I can have fun with and joke with. Thank you for being an incredible person and friend. I love you. 

@secretschuylersister thank you for being the kindest person, for helping me when I was insecure about my writing and always having something lovely to say about me and my writing. You are amazing person and I love you

@fragmentofmymind thank you for being there for me, for being super, super nice and approachable. Thank you for being such a great friend, i love you. (Also i know we haven’t talked in a little bit I feel very bad about that and will message you soon just know that I love you)

@musicalmiranda Thank you for being someone I can talk about obsessions with books with and being there to encourage me when I needed it most. Thank you for being a great friend.

@tempfixeliza I know we’ve only spoken the one time but I can’t tell you how grateful I was when you came to me and helped me when I was so insecure about my writing. It was incredibly kind of you and I’m very grateful for it. 

@anonnymousefangirl thank you for being there to stick up for me, indulging me with STTTG questions and being there for me when I need it. You’re amazing and I love you.

2

Happy birthday !!! @dreamy-94

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(honestly, it’s like 2am and i apologize for this terrible excuse for a birthday present I promise ill draw something better later

Me in 2011: #me #same

Me in 2012-2014: tagging every remotely funny post with #me and #same is overdone and annoying. There’s nothing humorous about it anymore because absolutely everyone does it. It’s washed up and tiring. 

 Me in 2015: #me #same

9

VIXX-OTPS has reached its third year and has achieved 20,110+ followers! I hope you all enjoyed the 15-day countdown this year and thank you very much for these 3 years! ♥ I hope we would be able to celebrate again next year~

Lmao people like to say shit about bisexuals leaving them for someone else because they’re greedy and can’t choose a side but really you just can’t admit that someone didn’t want to be with you for very real reasons and therefore you decided to defend yourself by going after the easiest part to dismantle about their identity, which is their bisexuality because everyone was bagging on them anyway.

And as lesbian/gay people you’ve obviously never had the validity of your sexuality questioned or undermined by a more solid and authoritative group, so you wouldn’t know what that’s like or how detrimental it can be….hmmm