I'm not the best at writing anger

If Michael could tell his younger self one thing, anything, it’d be don’t tell him.

He’d explain that there are a thousand ways for a heart to break and Jeremy Heere will make you learn all of them, starting with oh god, Michael, I’m so sorry. That some love songs are never meant to be sung, that some truths are better off buried six feet under. That the relief of finally saying it out loud is not worth everything that comes afterwards.

If Michael could, he’d tell his younger self everything. How one ugly truth took root in the garden of their friendship and overtook the soil, strangling their happy memories and drying out their intimacies and filling the land with bitter weeds. How their relationship turned into a rotten wasteland, full of landmines and skeletons, so toxic that Michael no longer remembers what it’s like to breathe without pain. How the best thing in Michael’s life turned into knives in his back. How love disfigured itself into hate and fury and wishing he were dead.

He’d say that he regrets it, all of it. That he’d take it all back, if he could.

(If Michael could tell his younger self one thing, anything, it’d actually be don’t fall in love with him

But some things just can’t be stopped.)

Look, I know everything’s pretty much going to hell in the B.A.P fandom right now because of this whole controversy about this ‘2017 World Tour’ but I just want to say a couple of things.

It’s okay to be angry and frustrated at TS. There are many, many reasons why B.A.P shouldn’t go on world tour. They have been doing countless activities and have just come back from a Japan tour, are now working on a comeback, and now there’s another tour. They do need their rest, because TS make them do so much already.

Not only this, but B.A.P want and need to promote in Korea. They need to gain more popularity and another world tour may dwindle that. And the boys have stated that they want to promote in Korea during 2017 and maybe even do individual activities as well.

BUT

We need to understand that currently, we do not know all the information about this. All we have (or at least all I’ve seen as of right now) is a photo. What I first noticed is that the tour is called ‘Party Baby’ and not 'Live On Earth’ like their usual world tours are. This most likely means that it is different to Live On Earth (though these are just assumptions) and so it might be that there are less countries they are going to. I’ve heard of world tours that involve only around six or seven countries before so I’m hoping that Party Baby is like this. I do not want them going on another world tour at all, but at the moment I’m trying not to let myself not worry too much since we don’t know all the facts. Since TS haven’t really said anything yet, we just don’t know what’s going on.

And something that I find extremely important during this time is making sure that B.A.P themselves don’t feel disheartened by the reaction Babyz have shown towards the tour. It’s understandable that we don’t want them to tour because we are worried about them, but some people aren’t conveying this and are saying very simply “I don’t want them to tour”. B.A.P have expressed that they love touring and seeing their fans world wide, even if it is tiring. I’m worried about how the boys are going to feel after seeing the reaction. Touring makes them happy, even if it’s stressful for them, and to see fans so against what makes them happy probably isn’t the best thing. I don’t want them to feel like we don’t want to see them. If you’re going to protest the tour, please at least just convey that you are worried about them.

I really think it would be safe to wait and see what information TS gives us because a lot of us may be wrong about a lot of things. Although, if it ends up being that they are going on world tour to as many countries as they did for Live On Earth I will definitely be mad at TS, I can assure you of that. The boys need rest and I honestly don’t think this is good for them. But please just remember to show that your anger comes from your worry if you protest, because that’s what I’ll be trying to do.

I really just want B.A.P to be happy and healthy.

i should be mad at you
for thinking it’s okay to text me on an average morning
for telling me you’ve missed me for a long time now
for calling me the same nickname you used to

i should be happy
that you’re finally unhappy without me
that you’re finally alone
that the fact that you were better off with me is hitting you hard

i should be disappointed
that you’re only texting me because you’re lonely
that my best friend tells me you still haven’t changed
that our last conversation didn’t mean anything to you

i should be shouldn’t i?
but to tell the truth i’m not
i’m really not
because now
i want you to be happy
i want you to find someone you can trust wholeheartedly
i want you to find something or someone worth living for

i’ve realised that
anger only leads to self destruction
spite ends up being hatred
disappointment only results in deep sadness

i’m no longer mad or spiteful or disappointed;
because you chose your life and i chose mine
you chose emptiness and i chose happiness
or at least my version of contentment
i hope you find yours soon


thank you for helping me realise i’ve changed and i’m happy and i’ve grown

—  the last ever thing i will write about you.

patiience
I’ve watched your eyes turn cold and empty. Your laugh sounds bitter now, more anger and sadness than joy. You used to smile a little too big for your face, now one corner of your mouth goes up and your eyes narrow instead of closing. Your face may be the same, but everything has changed.
—  fire turns to ice and i’m losing my best friend

So apparently there are those among you (pointed glare at dressthesavage) who think I’ve not tortured Maedhros enough? Well, let me rectify that, garnished with some shrivelled up sliver of my soul that died a bit while I was writing this. Just a nasty little torture scene, and its aftermath as poor Caranthir of all people tries to pick up the pieces. Also some implied Russingon, as if that somehow makes it better. 
TWs: torture, non-con, bloodplay, mutilation, self-harm. Probably a whole load of other horrible things as well but those are the main ones. This is probably one of the worst scenes thematically that I’ve ever written, so if you’re not feeling it from this little intro, then for your own peace of mind, don’t read it

x

SUCH PALE HANDS

“Oh, Maitimo,” the Maia cooed. The false innocence in his voice was stinging, and miserably Maedhros stilled upon his lap.

It was a game that the Maia so liked to play.

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emilyplaysgames  asked:

🍋!?

@emilyplaysgames | munday meme (accepting!) 

GOD. Let me tell you—you’d think a character like Masaki wouldn’t complain a lot but. he gets very sad and whiny whenever he feels lonely and bereft of affection and then the next moment I can hear him constantly screaming in my head out of sheer frustration + anger. Like what the hell dude. And sometimes it’s just such a hassle trying to write him because he’ll be stubborn and want to hide away or do something else instead.

So he is an uncontrollable force of nature who does what he wants I guess.

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: gale hawthorne has almost never been fully appreciated in-fandom because here we have a boy who grew up in some of the worst circumstances and always feeling fear because his entire family relied on him to feed them and keep them out of the hunger games his best friend later was forced to enter to keep her own sister safe THEN that same capitol responsible for all of his hardship had his entire home firebombed, and because of this he grew up with a strong anger for his oppressors that gave him that life and ready to fight an entire revolution and give up his humanity IF that meant there was a chance he could have his own children grow up in a better world than the one he grew up in
Hot and Cold

Prompt: DESTIEL AU WHERE SAM AND CAS HAVE BEEN BESTIES SINCE GRADE ONE AND SAM BROUGHT CAS HOME TO MEET DEAN AND DEAN GAVE CAS HIS FAV POPSICLE FLAVOR AND FOREVER AFTER CAS IS ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN WITH SAMS BROTHER AND KEEPS TRYING TO WOO HIM AS THEY GROW UP

Word count: 2,000

Author’s Note:

Thank you, anon. I had way too much fun with this prompt. I hope you like it, and I apologize in advance for the cheesy-ness.

“Warm” regards,

Bones

“Here, I got you strawberry,” Dean said, holding out a popsicle. “Sam mentioned it was your favorite.”

Castiel hesitated before taking the popsicle, both flattered and stunned by this hazel-eyed boy who was too handsome for his own good. “Thanks,” Castiel mumbled and unwrapped his popsicle.

Sam had a curious look. “Cas, this is my brother, Dean. Dean, this is Cas.”

Dean held out his hand to Castiel. A warm, summer breeze blew threw the kitchen window, mussing Castiel’s already messy hair. He shook Dean’s hand, surprised to find it rough with calluses. “Sam’s said a lot about you.”

Dean smiled in amusement. “He’s said a lot about you, too. Funny how you guys have been friends since first grade, and I’m only now meeting you.”

“My parents didn’t let me visit other friends houses until recently.” He shrugged. “They’re pretty conservative.”

“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Dean pulled a cherry popsicle from a box in the freezer and unwrapped it. As he wrapped his lips around the frozen, cylindrical treat, Castiel looked away, his cheeks heating. He caught Sam’s eyes just as they widened in understanding. The heat in Castiel’s face rose to a burning.

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Doribull Thoughts/Defense

Okay, so I am attempting to write a respectful dialogue here, not invalidate people’s legitimate triggers. If you don’t like Dorian/Bull and find it problematic, that is totally fine and you are completely entitled to dislike it based on what doesn’t work for you, or what you find unpalatable (for lack of a better, stronger word), and you are so, so valid in doing what’s best for you by blacklisting it, ignoring it, etc., doing whatever you need to do. I respect that, I do. Tagging this specifically so people can avoid it if they need to.

But I have some serious issues with some of the arguments (and, in my opinion, some assumptions that aren’t supported by in-game canon) that are used to insist that these two MUST have an abusive relationship and this is the only legitimate interpretation, because I, personally, don’t agree, and I find some of the actual arguments REALLY super problematic in and of themselves. So in the interest of discussion rather than argument, I want to articulate why I don’t share this interpretation, and why some of the arguments for it trouble me in terms of Dorian’s agency as a character. This ended up a fucking TL;DR manifesto in length, but I wanted to be thorough and draw in all the canon evidence I could to try and make a case for why I respect the concerns but don’t share them, because this is a subject I don’t take lightly, as I have been in emotionally manipulative relationships myself in the past.

 

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mynmisfr  asked:

Love orphan ontae sibling UA sooo much!!! Will you write more about it? Can I request for this AU? Can you write when Jjong comes to the picture, trying to woo Jinki, while Minho appa and Taemin dongsaeng being overly protective over Jinki, and Gwiboon umma feeling excited to dress Jinki up as they (Jinki and Gwiboon) are still awkward around each other? Well, more likely Jinki feels awkward around his new parents but Minho and Gwiboon are so open up to him already. Is this confusing? Sorry....

I feel like this isn’t exactly what you asked for since it’s more focused on ontae than jongyu but I hope you still like it! :3 (i also did not read it again so excuse any mistake)

First Part here (x)


Jinki shuffles in the vast living room quietly, trying to go over his practiced wordsin his head.


“Hey you okay there buddy?” Minho asks when he sees him standing there and Jinki looks up toward the man sitting on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table.

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