I'm going back home tomorrow so I'll look for him but

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

whiterose-blackrose  asked:

Austisic!Peter and MJ. MJ knows Peter's autistic because of all the subtle things he does. Like, she's super observant and stuff so she knows when he's getting overstimulated or when he needs something to stim with. She doesn't mention it, but she has a shit ton of stim toys and super soft pieces of fabric in her bag (under all the books to kinda hide them). I love the idea that she knows he's Spiderman and she always gives Spider-Man something to stim with if she sees him.

the first time mj notices it is during their sophomore year of high school, when she’s watching him during band practice. she watches everyone, sometimes to draw them, sometimes so she can mimic them, sometimes just bc she feels like it. but she likes watching peter the most. he makes her head calm down a bit, like how it does when she listens to music or when she opens a brand new hardcover book.

he’s sitting there holding his triangle (what a nerd, who plays the triangle) looking focused on when exactly he should ring it. he’s tense all the time lately, and he’s always pulling ned aside to talk about “big bird” whoever that is. but then suddenly flash comes up behind him and plays the trumpet directly into peter’s ear. anyone would jump at that, and peter definitely jumps. but what catches mj’s eye is what happens when everyone is laughing, when peter sits down and people kind of stop focusing on him. he drops his triangle down and shakes out his wrist, he quickly hits his hand to the side of his head and closes his eyes really tightly.

it’s a familiar thing to look at. mj doesn’t hit herself, but she gets that urge sometimes when she’s trying to keep her meltdown at bay. when she can feel the sensory overload and the overstimulation trying to take her over and she wants to push it back down, and sometimes she’ll feel herself wanting to physically hit it.

she goes back to reading, but she only really begins paying attention to the plot of the book once peter appeared to calm down. then she felt calm again too. before they go she slips one of her stim toys into peter’s bag when he’s up putting away the triangle, and she doesn’t say anything when she sees him quietly playing with it the next day.

the second time she notices is late into their sophomore year towards the beginning of summer vacation. peter is sitting on the subway after class, probably on his way home. he’s seemed happier lately, it radiates off of him. apparently he got his stark internship back, and he’s even regularly coming to decathlon practice again. mj tells herself that she only cares about his decathlon attendance, she is the captain after all.

mj is sat behind him on the subway and she hears him muttering to himself. again, this is normal for anybody to do. but he’s writing in his notebook, and he’s making funny sounds. she peers over his shoulder and sees a bunch of formulas and spider doodles and science jargon and then leans back into her seat.

peter loves science. LOVES science. everybody knows that. they all go to a science school, but peter’s the only one she really knows who actually gets dreamy eyes when he talks about astrophysics and chemistry, and he can talk about it for hours. literally, hours. and right now it’s clear that his love for science is standing strong, he’s in his own little world right now. mj can hear him making happy squeaks and it feels familiar.

when she finds herself delighted she usually makes noises, happy trills and squeaks. neurotypical people give her funny looks when that happens, it’s annoying and rains on her parade. it isn’t as if she can even help it, and she doesn’t understand why it’s so weird. she tries to keep those noises in, but they still come out when she reads a particularly good passage in a book. and that seems to be what’s happening to peter. his shoulders tense everytime a happy warbled squeak comes out, and he begins scribbling more furiously into his notepad

he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone’s heard him and then startles when he sees mj sitting there. she raises her eyebrow at him and he blushes and turns around, and she can see him begin to bounce slightly in his seat.

mj goes back to reading but in the back of her head she feels things popping up. spider doodles in peter’s notebook. talking about a big bird with ned. dropping out of all his extracurricular besides decathlon. the whole incident in washington DC. she doesn’t know why she’s thinking about it, or why she knows that it’s all related. or even how she knows it’s related. she just chooses to read instead. if she slips another stim toy into peter’s bag, well, that’s out of her control.

the third time mj notices is during the summer. and it isn’t really with peter, at least not the peter he wants her to know about.

she’s at a small shop at around eleven at night, dressed in pajamas with her bag slung over her shoulder and a pack of hot cheetos in her hand. and then suddenly the shop is being robbed, and a gun is being pointed at her face. and her mind disconnects. her head is equal parts chaos and calm, thoughts are rushing around her brain but they’re going so quickly that it almost feels as if there are none. of course this is how she’s gonna die. of course she’s gonna fucking die in a corner shop at 11:07 pm in her flannel pajamas all because she wanted a bag of hot cheetos. of course that’s –

“you and i have to stop meeting like this,” peter chimes in, swinging into the shop and kicking the robber in the face. the gun falls onto the floor. “oh, my bad, you aren’t the criminal i thought you were. you guys really need to stop wearing masks, i can’t tell you apart.”

but oh wait. that isn’t peter. that’s spider-man. but that’s definitely peter’s voice. huh.

mj breaks herself out of her head and runs towards the gun on the ground just as the robber reaches for it, and she stomps onto his hand before he can grab it. the guy screams and mj just shoves her boot harder onto his hand.

“we make a great team!” spider-man cheers, shooting some webbing onto the guy’s legs

a few quips and thwips later and the robber is being seated into the back of a cop car. mj is sitting on the curb of the sidewalk munching away on some hot cheetos. and spider-man is walking up to her.

“you okay?” he asked, voice strained tightly.

“mhm,” mj hums. she’s pretty sure that she’s okay. time will tell. “are you?”

spidey startles. “of course i am, it’s my job, i love this stuff!”

“just because it’s your job, and just because you like it, doesn’t mean you’re okay.”

spidey kind of shrugs at that and sits down next to her on the curb. “i’m okay, just a bit shook up. he had a gun pointed at your head.”

“yeah,” mj sighs. “want a cheeto?”

they sit in a comfortable silence while they share the bag of cheetos, neither really wanting to talk but neither really wanting to leave each other. mj notices that spidey keeps shaking out his wrist, keeps bringing his hand up to his face to tap harshly at the lenses of his mask. she reaches into her bag.

“here,” she says, shoving a stim toy into his hand. “this one can be chewed on and pulled apart, it’s really neat. don’t worry, i haven’t chewed on it at all so you’re good to go.”

spidey gawks at her, mouth falling open. his lips are really red from the snacks. “um…. thanks. do you give these to everyone?”

mj pops another cheeto into her mouth and chews quickly. “nah, just you.”

spidey leans against her side and begins to aggressively pull on the toy. “thanks, mj.”

she decides not to point out that she never gave him her name.

EXO / Their S/O’s best friend is a BTS member

Request: umm what about exos reaction (as your bf) to one of the bts members being your best friend (as in the you go to for everything instead of them)  btw I love both exo and bts very much. I just wanted to see how you would write it (: Thank you           

Thank you for requesting this! Hope you enjoy 💕


Xiumin

Originally posted by callmeminseok

You had just found out you got into the university of your choice and you were ecstatic. Quickly, you got your phone out of your pocket and after nearly dropping it twice, dialed your best friends number.

“Hello?” Seokjin’s voice picked up on the first ring.

“Jin, you’ll never believe it!” you exclaimed. “I got in! I got offered a place at the—”

“You got in?!” came your boyfriend’s voice from the other room. He didn’t hear you address the person on the phone as he walked into the kitchen with a big smile.

“I—yeah, babe,” you smiled at Minseok quickly and then moved the phone from your ear to show him that you were on the phone. “I’ll talk to you in a moment, okay?”

“Oh,” Minseok nodded, his stomach sinking at the realization that he wasn’t the first one you told the exciting news to. “Sure, yeah.”

You turned away from him and got back to your conversation with Jin. Both of you squealed in joy for at least ten minutes, and once you finally hung up the phone, you went to find your boyfriend.

Minseok was lying on his bed, his phone in his hands. He didn’t even raise his head when you walked in.

“I got off the phone,” you said, extending the acceptance letter for him to see.

“Oh, good,” Minseok said simply. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thank you,” you said a little confused by his coldness. “Is everything okay?”

He sighed and locked his phone before finally looking up at you. “I’m never the first person you tell anything to.”

You blinked a few times, taken aback by the sudden confession.

“What?” you said, still trying to understand what he just said. “Minseok, I tell you everything.”

“Right. But first, you tell Seokjin everything,” he countered. “And then you come find me.”

“That’s not—” you started but quickly realized that his words might have really made sense. “Does that really upset you?”

“Well, of course,” Minseok said. “You’re my girlfriend, my best friend, and my go-to person. It just kind of sucks to know that I’m not the same for you.”

You bit your lip, feeling your own heart start to hurt at the sight of him being so upset.

“I’m sorry,” you said, then. “But you are the most important person to me, though.”

“Oh, am I now?”

“Yes,” you smiled, a teasing glint in your eyes. “Let me prove it to you.”

Before he could reply, you leaned in closer to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips, moving away before the kiss could go anywhere.

“Am I forgiven?” you asked with a small smirk.

“Oh, you wish,” he replied, “You’ll have to do better than that,” and he pulled your hand closer, forcing you to fall onto the bed next to him, so he could kiss you properly.


Suho

Originally posted by vogueksoo

When he heard the door of the apartment open, he jumped up from where he was sitting on the couch in the living room and ran across the whole apartment to tackle you in a hug.

“Junmye—”

“Don’t ever leave me alone for this long again,” he told you, not releasing you from his arms. “I don’t even remember where you went but it’s been too long.”

“I’ve only been gone for two hours,” you said through laughter.

“Yeah, but you told me you’d be gone for twenty minutes,” he said, removing himself from you and finally letting you breathe.

“Yeah, I thought so, but then Hoseok pulled out his phone to show me some pictures from—”

“Hold on,” Junmyeon stopped you, his face no longer excited. “You’ve been out to see Hoseok? Again?”

His tone sounded accusing, so your face fell a little. “Well, yeah.”

“Y/n, you’ve spent more time with him this week than with me,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Junmyeon, we live together. I think I spend quite a lot of time with you.”

“You don’t sound too happy about that.”

You had to laugh at the absurdity of his accusations. “Don’t be ridiculous. I love living with you. And Hoseok is my friend, you know that.”

“Feels like he’s more than a friend.”

“You’re right,” you said, watching his face twist in shock. “He’s one of my closest friends.”

“Okay, nice way to give me a heart attack,” Junmyeon commented sarcastically and turned to walk away from you.

“Hey!” you called after him, concerned suddenly. “Are you actually mad at me?”

“Not sure yet,” he replied, walking towards his bedroom.

“Oh, come on! I’ll cook you dinner to make you feel better, how does that sound?”

“Meh.”

“Okay. I’ll cook you dinner and give you all of my undivided attention.”

Junmyeon suddenly stopped and turned around to look at you. “Now that sounds better.”


Lay

Originally posted by fawnave

Yixing wasn’t very jealous of your friendship with BTS’ Namjoon but he wasn’t a big fan of it, either. He wasn’t a fan of any guy who was close to you, so it was no surprise.

He never caused a scene whenever you told him you’d be hanging out with Namjoon because he trusted you, but he was still slightly upset that he wasn’t the only guy in your life.

The only time Yixing actually saw you hang out with Namjoon, though, was during Junmyeon’s birthday party. At first, he was just standing next to you while you and Namjoon discussed something that caused Yixing unexplainable boredom. He excused himself to get a drink and found himself listening to one of Chen’s jokes for at least fifteen minutes. When he made his way back to you, you were still talking to Namjoon.

Overwhelmed by the sudden irrational jealousy, he made his way towards you and hugged you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder, and startling you in the process.

“Yixing, you scared me,” you said, trying to recover.

“Sorry,” he said, shamelessly kissing your shoulder. “I just missed you.”

Namjoon cleared his throat, causing Yixing to raise his head with a small smirk.

“I’m going to go mingle,” Namjoon said, awkwardly walking away.

You turned around to face your boyfriend with a surprised expression on your face.

“What’s gotten into you?” you asked, not used to his public displays of affection.

“Nothing,” Yixing shrugged innocently. “You’ve been talking to Namjoon the whole night. I thought you could use the distraction.”

“If by ‘whole night’ you mean twenty minutes, then I agree,” you told him. “And I’m going to assume you’re the distraction?”

“Twenty minutes feels like an eternity when you’re away from me,” he said. “And not just away, but also with some other guy.”

“He’s my best friend, Yixing.”

“And I’m your boyfriend.”

You sighed. “Sometimes I question why.”

He faked offense but quickly recovered and smirked instead. Then, he leaned in closer to you so he could whisper in your ear, “I’ll show you why when we’re home.”


Baekhyun

Originally posted by daenso

You and Baekhyun were having dinner in your kitchen. He had just finished telling you about practice today and asked you how your day went.

“I had a fairly decent day, actually,” you admitted. “Like, remember the book I told you about yesterday?”

Baekhyun frowned. “No, actually. You didn’t tell me about any books.”

“What? But I did! Like, the main character goes to—oh, wait. Maybe you’re right, I think I told Yoongi about it.”

Baekyun stopped chewing and raised his eyes from his plate to meet yours.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“Sorry, I thought I did,” you said. “Anyway, I—”

“You used to tell me about the books that you read,” Baekhyun interrupted you, still hung up on the same thing.

“I still do that,” you replied.

“No, not anymore,” he shook his head. “Actually, you stopped telling me about the small things from your day altogether. Do you talk to Yoongi about it?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, not catching the jealous tone in his voice. “I talk to Yoongi about a lot of things.”

Baekhyun’s face transformed completely and the jealousy could not be missed anymore.

“So,” he said in a sarcastic tone. “What else do you do with Yoongi?”

“Oh my God, Baekhyun,” you covered your face with your hands. “Please don’t tell me you’re actually jealous of my best friend right now.”

I’m your best friend. How many other best friends do you need?”

“Please tell me you’re not serious.”

“Why would I not be? You just told me you tell him more stuff than you tell me,” Baekhyun said bitterly.

You removed your hands from your face to look at him in astonishment. “Baekhyun, seriously. Would you still be saying the same thing if my best friend was a girl?”

He thought about it for a moment. “Actually, yeah. I think I would.”

“So, you don’t want me to have any friends, then?”

He sighed. “No. You can have as many friends as you want. I just want to know all about the little things that happened to you every day. I think as your boyfriend, I deserve to be the first person you tell them to.”


Chen

Originally posted by daenso

You were sitting on the couch with Jongdae, having a peaceful night in. A movie was playing in the background but both of you were on your phones. Chen was texting the other members about the song lyrics he had just come up with, and you were talking to Jimin.

Eventually, like true best friends do, you and Jimin got into an argument about who had more memes saved on their phone. So, consequently, you began sending each other memes and other funny stuff back and forth. Every time you laughed at something he sent you, Chen raised his head to look at you but he didn’t say anything.

And then finally, once you burst out laughing so loud that he almost dropped his phone, he dared to ask you what was going on.

“Oh, Jimin and I are sending each other funny pictures,” you told him once you managed to calm down.

“Huh. So, uh, is that him you’ve been texting this entire time?”

You nodded, trying not to start laughing at another picture Jimin sent you.

Biting his lip, Chen considered what the appropriate way to approach this situation would be. He knew getting jealous over this would be stupid and yet he couldn’t help but feel unhappy that someone else was making you laugh this much.

“Can you show them to me?” he asked after he finally came up with a way to transfer your attention from Jimin to him.

“Show you what?” you said, too occupied with your phone to pay attention to the conversation you were having in real life.

“The funny pictures you mentioned?” Chen said. “I want to laugh, too.”

You perked up instantly. “Of course! Hold on for just a moment, though. I have to save all of them to my phone.”

Chen nodded, secretly smirking to himself for finding a way to win you back although you never actually stopped being his.


Chanyeol

Originally posted by sugutie

Chanyeol literally never minded your and Seokjin’s friendship. If the three of you happened to be in the same place at the same time, he didn’t go out of his way to mark his territory and let Seokjin know that you’re taken, because he knew he could trust you, and he knew Jin wouldn’t dare to make a move on you anyway.

The only times he got a little insecure was when tabloid magazines published articles about you two-timing him with a member of his “rival band”. He knew the article was stupid and childish but somehow he still cared about what the public thought about this.

One time, you caught him reading one of those articles and immediately confronted him.

“I can’t believe you’re actually reading that garbage,” you said.

Chanyeol hadn’t heard you walk in, so he flinched (which he seemed to do at least five times a day. You either walked very quietly or he was just off guard all of the time) but then turned around to look at you.

“I was just wondering what people were saying,” he explained.

“Why do you even care?” you asked, suddenly a little concerned.

“Well, they’re saying that you’re actually closer to Jin than you are to me. And I mean, since I’m on tour half of the time, it kind of makes sense…”

“What?” you frowned, walking closer to him so you could take a better look at the article he was reading. “You know that’s bullshit, right? Jin’s on tour pretty often, too, and you’re my boyfriend. And – might I remind you – you have been in this position for the past three years, so I don’t think there even exists a person that I’d be closer to than you.”

He smiled softly. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?”

“You have so many people you’re friends with that sometimes I just need to hear that you love me the most.”

You laughed. “I didn’t actually mention I loved you the most, though.”

His smile disappeared suddenly. “But you do, right?”

“Of course, Chanyeol,” you reassured him. “You have no competition.”


D.O.

Originally posted by jonginssoo

You and Kyungsoo have been in a long distance relationship for almost two years now. Both of you often flew to see each other and it was definitely worth it, but still difficult nevertheless.

You were always interested in South Korea, though, and even expressed your wish to move here someday but you wanted to finish school first. The wait didn’t stop you from spending every holiday from school in Seoul, though. You made more friends there than you had back home – and that was another good reason to move there permanently.

Which is why, two months after your graduation, you found yourself on the phone with Jungkook, one of your best friends, announcing your decision to move to Seoul.

After an hour-long conversation, you headed to your bedroom to start looking for the plane tickets. You were really anxious about not having told the news to Kyungsoo, though. You wanted to surprise him by just showing up on his doorstep, which is why you haven’t called him yet.

However, your plan backfired, when ten minutes after booking the tickets, your phone started to ring, indicating that it was Kyungsoo calling you.

“Hey,” you answered the call, trying to hide your excitement.

“I have a question,” Kyungsoo said, not sounding very happy. “How long have we been together?”

You were surprised by this. “Uhh… almost two years? Why are you—”

“Right, so, almost two years of dating, and somehow I’m the last person you tell about the important decisions you make in your life,” he said angrily.

Your stomach sunk. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“You’re moving to Seoul,” he said, forcing you to breathe in sharply. “And I found out from Jungkook. Jungkook! I’m not even that close to him!”

Have you forgotten to warn Jungkook that your plan of moving included you surprising Kyungsoo? Most likely, yes.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark like that.”

“Is there anything else you told your best friend but not your boyfriend?” he asked, making the word ‘best friend’ sound somehow threatening.

“N-no,” you answered.”Look, Kyungsoo, I really am sorry you’re upset. But there’s a reason why I told Jungkook and not you.”

“Oh, there’s a reason?” he said, laughing humorlessly. “Do I want to hear it?”

“Yes,” you said calmly. “I wanted to surprise you. I wanted you to come home from practice and just find me there, ready to spend the rest of my life in a foreign city with the person I love most of all.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t expecting that, so he stayed quiet for a few moments.

“I-I love you, too,” he finally said, still taken aback by your confession.

“Good,” you told him. “Because for a moment there it seemed like you hated me.”

“I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t enjoy the fact that you told this important thing to Jungkook, instead of me,” Kyungsoo admitted. “Please don’t do that again, okay? I want to be the first person to know everything about you.”


Kai

Originally posted by baekhyunsama

You were backstage at an award show, waiting for your boyfriend to come offstage after his performance.

“Power is probably my favorite EXO song,” someone said suddenly, startling you.

When you turned around, you were greeted by your best friend’s face. Same best friend that you haven’t seen in forever due to him being on tour.

“Taehyung!” you exclaimed as he laughed before wrapping his arms around you. “I didn’t realize you’d be performing tonight, too!”

“I’m not. We’re presenting an award,” he explained. “Actually, I was just about to text you to see if you wanted to hang out after the ceremony.”

“Oh, Jongin’s taking me to the after-party at the dorm,” you said sadly. “But we could hang out some other time?”

“Okay. Text me when you’re free,” Taehyung said, not losing his smile. “It’s great running into you here. I missed you a lot!”

“I missed you too,” you answered.

Both of you laughed as he extended his hands to pull you in for another hug that was well-needed after having not seen each other in so long.

Someone cleared their throat, interrupting you, and you unattached yourself from Taehyung to see your boyfriend standing right behind you, having just walked off the stage.

“Hey!” you exclaimed. “Your performance was incredible as always, love.”

Jongin just nodded, but he wasn’t looking at you, and instead watched Taehyung, who stood next to you, still smiling.

“I ran into Taehyung backstage,” you started to explain. “Last time we saw each other was probably two or three months ago.”

“Ah. Fun,” Jongin replied dryly.

You frowned a little at this, but Taehyung – always the social butterfly – jumped into the conversation.

“Loved your performance. The concept for the MV was sick, too,” he said.

“Thank you,” Jongin replied quickly. “Y/n, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you said, not even questioning where he wanted to go because his eyes were burning lasers into Taehyung’s forehead. You still turned to look at your best friend for a quick word. “I’ll see you, yeah?”

“Yes, of course!” Taehyung nodded enthusiastically and then turned to Jongin. “Great seeing you here!”

“You too,” Jongin nodded and placed a hand on your waist to lead you further away from the crowd, or perhaps more specifically, from Taehyung.

Once you two reached an empty hallway, he stopped suddenly. You stopped too, looking at him with a confused expression.

“Is everything okay?” you asked.

“Does he know I’m your boyfriend?” Jongin asked out of the blue.

“Does who know?” you frowned in confusion. “Taehyung? Of course, he knows. He’s basically my best friend, he knows everything.

“Oh,” Jongin looked down. “Well, it sure didn’t look like he knew you had a boyfriend.”

Realizing what he was getting at, you groaned. “Don’t do this. We hugged because we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

“We don’t hug like that,” Jongin said. “And we’re dating.”

“That’s because we’re together 24/7, Jongin,” you told him. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact, I think I would handcuff myself to you if you dared to spend three full months without seeing me at least once.”

A small smile finally appeared on his lips and he nodded, letting you know that this was exactly what he wanted to hear to feel better.


Sehun

Originally posted by awwsehun

You and Sehun were at a party of one of your mutual friend’s. At first, you really didn’t want to go because you weren’t a big fan of drunk people but then you found out that Jungkook would be there, and you haven’t seen him in so long, that you felt like you had no choice but to go. Obviously, Sehun wasn’t happy that Jungkook managed to convince you to come to the party in basically seconds, while he’s been trying to get you to come with him for almost a week.

Once at the party, however, you managed to down a few drinks and spent the entire time sitting at the back of the room, reconnecting with Jungkook. He told you about the tour that he’s been on and you told him about everything he missed back in Seoul.

Hours later, when you and Sehun were in a car back home after the party, you realized that he barely said a word to you since you left the house together at the beginning of the night.

“Hey, are you okay?” you asked him.

He looked at you, and although it was dark, you could still see anger in his eyes.

“Not really,” he said.

“Why? What’s wrong?” you asked in a concerned voice.

“I’m feeling kind of neglected,” he admitted. “And hurt.”

You didn’t expect to hear that. “Why?”

“I think it’s obvious why.”

“Not to me, apparently,” you replied.

“Y/n, I arrived to the party with you but I lost you in the crowd of people almost as soon as we came in,” Sehun said. “I tried to find you and when I did, you were talking to Jungkook, so I didn’t want to interrupt anything. But two hours later, you were still talking to him.”

You swallowed, suddenly understanding why he felt neglected.

“I haven’t seen him in so long,” you tried to explain. “We had so much stuff to talk about.”

“I understand that,” he nodded. “But people kept asking me where you were, and I had to awkwardly point to you and say that there you were – talking to another guy.”

“H-he’s my best friend,” you said. “You know that.”

“I do,” Sehun said. “And if you think that makes it hurt less when you leave me all by myself at a party, then you’re wrong.”

Your chest was heavy with guilt. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I didn’t realize you felt this way. You should have come and joined us.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt. You looked like you were discussing something very passionately. For four hours.”

“Come on, Sehun,” you said, touching his arm in a comforting manner, “You know I never consider your appearance in my visual field as an interruption. Although I have to say, you are distracting, especially when you’re wearing a suit. But anyway,” you stopped for a moment when you saw that you managed to make him smile. “I don’t want you to feel hurt about this. And if you ever feel neglected, just come and tell me.”

“And whine in front of other people?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Well, you have no problem whining in private,” you teased.

He shook his head at this, smiling nevertheless.

“I love you,” you told him. “And I’m sorry I made you upset today.”

He leaned closer to you to softly kiss your cheek. “I love you more.”


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Early Morning Tease (Seth Rollins) - the reader is home with her boyfriend Seth for the holidays. Seth goes out with his friends for a few drinks, but not before being teased as he leaves. fluff/smut

y'all, this is my first time posting my writing on this blog so let me know what you think.



WARNINGS: language/smut(ish)

•••••••••••


“That’s such BULLSHIT,” Seth yelled from the living room. I rolled my eyes, assuming he was just pissed that he was losing his video game. Every morning Seth ate his breakfast while he played Madden. It was like a tradition in our house. And almost every morning, Seth lost.

I grabbed my mug and made way into the living, finding that my assumptions were true when I saw an angry Seth standing right in front of the TV, thumbs furiously pushing at the buttons on his controller. I plopped myself down onto the couch and brought my knees to my chest, watching him with intrigue. Whenever he got worked up, his back muscles involuntarily tensed and flexed. I like to think it’s the universe’s little gift to me.

About ten minutes passed and Seth had officially lost to the Minnesota Vikings, 24-0, with a defeated and angry, “Fuck!” He turned around and looked me in eyes, smiling softly before climbing over the coffee table so he was standing in front of me. He leaned down and gave me a lingering kiss on the lips, before pulling back and gently kissing my forehead.

“Bet you had no idea was even sitting here, huh?” I asked, playfully poking his face as he sat down next to me, curling up into my side like a child.

“No, I knew,” he said, matter-of-fact.

“Seth there’s no way you knew. You were so engrossed in your video game.”

“You’re wrong. I always know when you’re around me. I have like, spidey senses that only work for you,” he looked up at me for his place on my hip and smirked.

I rolled my eyes at him again, for the second time this morning. “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot. That’s the beauty of it,” he sighed into my skin.

I was really thankful for the time we had together at home in Davenport this Christmas. It originally wasn’t looking like we were going to be able to make it home until the 23rd and then in turn have to be back in Tampa by the 27th, but Carrano pulled some strings for us at the very last minute. Now we had about 2 and a half weeks off together. No obligations, no responsibilities (other than Kevin), and no work. Us both being professional wrestlers on the main roster for WWE, it was hard to get time like this. Time where we could lounge on the couch at our home and enjoy each other’s company.

“I’d be so lost without you, babe,” I muttered into my cup.

“Likewise, princess.” He placed a kiss on the outer part of my thigh before sitting up. “Speaking of that actually….” he trailed off, looking sheepish.

I gave him my best stern look, anticipating my annoyance at whatever was going to come out of his mouth in the next 30 seconds. “What did you do?”

He stood up and started backing away from me and into the kitchen, out of my smacking range, but I just picked myself up and followed him. “Okay, baby. You can’t be mad because it’s… i-it’s something you told me to do.” He raised his hands in defense.

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Take out the trash? Do the dishes? Put your disgusting socks into the washer and not leave them on the bathroom floor?” I questioned, gaining an eye roll from him.

“Okay, not exactly. But I promise that I’ll start getting better about that stuff.” He trailed off, not sure how to read my body language. “Remember how you told me to take time to relax and indulge in the small moments in life?”

I vaguely recalled being wine-drunk a couple nights before and telling him those things. I groaned inwardly. I should’ve known those words would come back and potentially bite me in the ass. I nodded tightly, too annoyed with myself to actually speak.

“Wellllllll,” he began, putting his hands on his hips and looking at me with that stupid, cute ass face that made me agree to anything he wanted. “The guys invited me to go over the lodge today and shoot some pool and drink some beer and I said I’d come.” He backtracked and raised his hands defensively when he saw my eyebrow raise. “I said I could ONLY go if it was alright with you.”

His big, brown bambi eyes pleaded with me and of course, my weak heart couldn’t stand here and say no when he looked so goddamn cute. But that didn’t mean I would let it look like I surrendered too easily.

“Oh? What time were you thinking?”

“Like 10? Only if that’s okay with you, princess,” he smiled nervously at me.

“And you’re going to the Moose Lodge here in town?”

“Yes. Just 10 minutes down the road. Close enough to be home incase of an emergency.”

I pursed my lips and pretended to contemplate before pointing a finger at him, commanding his attention. “I promise not to be a needy, mopey baby when you go hang out with your friends as long as you bring me some fried pickles when you come home.”

A big wide, award-winning smile spread across his face and he came around the kitchen island to envelope me in a warm hug. I squeezed him tightly, breathing in his scent. He felt like home and I loved it.

Seth pulled back just slightly to kiss me on the lips and then again and again. “Thanks, babe. I just didn’t want to leave you hanging while we had the chance to be home together.”

Eye roll count for today: 3.

“Seth, your friends deserve to see you too. They get to see you even less I do,” I smacked his chest playfully and went across the kitchen to get another cup of tea.

“I know, but you’re my number one priority in life,” he replied. I looked over my shoulder to see him staring at me from across the kitchen, adoration in all his features.

“Don’t you forget it, big guy,” I joked.

“With a woman like you, I couldn’t.”

“Good.” I turned in place and stared at his stupid, perfect face. He was too irresistible to not look at whenever I had the chance. We’d been together for 3 years and I still took every opportunity I admire him. I took and sip and suddenly remembered something. “Oh and can you pick up some milk?”

He furrowed his eyebrows at me and turned to open the fridge next to him. He grabbed the milk off the top shelf and held it up. “Yeah?”

I shook my head at the joker standing in front of me. “I meant at the store, Seth.”

He rolled his eyes at me this time and put the milk back where it belonged before closing the fridge and mocking my faux-annoyed pose. “Babe, I assume it weighs the same whether it’s in our fridge or at the store.”

“Seth Rollins, I hate you” I laughed.

He bounded over to me, pulling me into another tight hug. “You’re in love with me,” he muttered into my neck as he kissed his way down.

“Yeah, very true. I’m in love with you,” I whispered. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the closeness. He has just made his way to my t-shirt neckline when his hands snaked up and grabbed my breasts. His head popped up and by the darkening look in his eyes, I knew he was quickly getting turned on.

I smirked and shifted my position against the counter so my bare thigh rubbed against the bulge in his jeans. He groaned and brought his forehead down to touch mine.

“Are you not wearing a bra?” He mustered out between his clenched teeth.

“Nope,” I smiled back, popping the p.

“Why do you do this to me?”

“I thought we could have some fun this morning.” I made sure to bat my eyelashes at him and reach up to kiss his neck and tug at his hair, a few things that I knew would help with his growing arousal.

“Well then,” he said, lifting me up by my ass so I was now sitting on the counter, both legs on either sides of his hips, “we’ll just have to take care of that.”

Seth started kissing at my neck and playing with the waist of my silk pajama shorts. I pushed him away and hopped down form the counter, walking towards the living room. It pained me, but I knew it would pay off to both of our advantage later.

“Babe!” He shouted after me. “What the hell are you doing?”

I grabbed his keys from the bowl on the end table and tossed them to him. He caught them in one swift motion and stared at me incredulously, arms out.

“You gotta go. It’s 9:45 already. You told the boys you’d meet them at 10. You made a promise to be there and you’re not the kind of man to go back on his word,” I smirked.

He looked at the clock and then back at me a few times before sighing deeply. “You don’t play fair,” he moaned before heading towards the door.

“Not in the ring and not in the bed, baby,” I said before picking Kevin up and holding him in my arms. I grabbed one of his little paws and waved it at Seth. “Tell daddy bye-bye, Kev! Say, ‘Mommy’s going to go watch her TV shows without any clothes on while you’re gone.’” I kissed Kevin on the head before turning my attention back to Seth.

He was halfway out the door, turned towards me with lust and desperation displayed in his features. “You’re getting fucked into next week when I get home from the lodge later. I promise, princess.”

“Don’t forget the milk!” I shouted just before he shut the door behind him.

I laughed to myself and walked off to the bedroom. I was desperately looking forward to his return this afternoon.

~ SPN 12x11 coda ~

Dean’s head still throbbed by the time the [Lebanon - 13 miles] sign gleamed in the Impala’s headlights. The three cups of coffee at dinner had not helped to ease the pain, and neither had the four Ibuprofen Sam gave him once they got back to the car. Sleep – that’s what he needed now.

He rubbed his hand over his face, grimacing at the stabbing ache behind his eyes. “Want me to take over?” Sam asked, Dean dropping his hand to the wheel. He sounded concerned and rightly so. If Dean was being honest with himself, Sam should have been the one to drive.

But since when was he honest, especially with himself?

“Nah, I’m good.” He tightened his grip on the steering wheel when Sam scoffed. “Besides, we’re almost home.”

Dean could almost feel Sam roll his eyes. He scanned the shadowed turnoffs for the one that would lead them home. His inner autopilot told him that it was coming up soon, but the actual location was escaping him right now. Panic fluttered in his chest and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from voicing his concerns. He could figure this out; he could remember this…there was no need to worry Sam.

“Dean.” Sam pointed off to the left side of the road. “Did you forget our turn?” He recognized it then, his anxiety decreasing a little as he slowed down and turned onto the gravel road.

It was not too long before they reached the bunker. Dean was relieved, if not a little overwhelmed, by the rush of memories flooding. Everything would be back to normal in the morning, probably…He just needed to sleep off the lingering remains of the spell.

“Go inside,” Sam said once Dean parked the Impala. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“So bossy.” Dean slipped out of his seat and grinned back at Sam. He closed the car door and trudged to the front door, his keys jingling in his hand.

The muted sounds of a far-off TV greeted Dean once he was inside the bunker. He squinted, the florescent lights grating against his headache. The high-pitched ring of the TV led him to the study where he found Cas. He glanced over to the doorway when Dean cleared his throat. “Hey, Cas.”

“You’re back.” His brow furrowed as Dean staggered into the room. Little specks of light danced around the edges of his vision as Cas sat up on the couch. “Are you okay? Dean?” Dean nodded, his temples throbbing in protest at the quick movement. He must have winced, judging by the concerned tch of Cas’ tongue. Dean sat on the edge of the couch next to him and met his eyes. “What happened?”

“Witch. Lost my memory for a while. Now all I’ve got is this headache.”

Cas extended his hand, placing his fore and middle fingertips on Dean’s temple. The vice-like pressure vanished in a blink of an eye. Cas’ gentle touch lingered for a few seconds before he dropped his hand to the space between them on the couch. “Better?”

Dean moved to stand, happy to find that the world was no longer topsy-turvy. “Much. Thanks, buddy.”

“It’s what I’m here for.” 

Dean looked down at Cas who had gone back to watching TV, anxiety tightening around his chest. The mantra he had chanted to himself all day sprang unbidden to his mind once again. My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Mary Winchester is my mom. And Casti – 

“You’re my best friend.” He blurted before the panic he felt earlier could settle in again. “You know that, right?” A tiny smile curved the corner of Cas’ lips as he nodded. “Promise me you won’t forget that.”

Cas glanced over, looking like he was about to make some sort of sarcastic remark. His smirk, slight as it was, dropped when he took in Dean’s solemn expression. “I promise.”

A sigh of relief loosened the anxious tension constricting his chest. Dean smiled as he headed for the door. “Night, Cas.” He paused when he reached the doorway, glancing over his shoulder to find Cas watching him. “See you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

anonymous asked:

I'm dying to read a tampon fic set during or post revival! Please will you write it? Please?

Tagging @today-in-fic and @fictober

He might be older these days but his focus, Mulder swears, is sharper than ever. Which is why Scully’s exhausting silence hits him right in the face. They’re on the road, a circumstance he still finds baffling even months into their reinstatement, on their way to their motel. That’s something he could do without; staying in second rate accommodations. He glances over at Scully, slouched in the passenger seat, looking exhausted. He thinks about asking her if she’s all right but he is not in the mood for her standard I’m fine. Their silences are still comfortable, just like they used to be when they were partnered first, but it’s not the same. Mulder feels the need to talk. Not even the about case. He wants to know what she had for dinner last night, what she watched on TV, whether she slept well. They’re on good terms, working as well together as always, but there is an invisible line now and he doesn’t know if she’ll let him cross it. 

“There’s a gas station. Let’s stop there a moment.” Scully says.

“We don’t need gas.”

“Can you please just stop the car, Mulder?” Annoyance mixed with exasperation. He sets the blinker and steers the car into the small parking area. Scully gets out of the car without a word and Mulder watches her long, certain strides. He locks the car before he follows her into the small convenience store. Soft music tinkles from an old, rusty radio and three men talk about their wives, children and grandchildren. They nod at Scully, but eye him curiously. I belong to her, Mulder thinks. In every sense of the word. Scully seems determined, searching for something in the back of the store. They used to go grocery shopping together. Let’s do something normal, Mulder, she’d said when she proposed it one Thursday afternoon. That was years ago. He has his groceries delivered nowadays; he has no idea when Scully goes grocery shopping or where. It’s selfish, he knows, but he hopes she does it alone. 

She walks towards him and he glances at her hands holding a box of tampons. Oh. They haven’t lived together in years and if Mulder is honest, he has almost forgotten what it’s like. He’d bring her hot water bottles, massage her back, and bring her to orgasm; anything she asked for. Many times she didn’t, though. Like all her burdens, big or small, she bore this particular one without complaint. He looks at her now; her face, to him, is still the same. There are a few wrinkles here and there and not as many laugh lines as he would have wanted for her. In his mind, she is not 53 years old. She’s ageless, just Scully. But he knows what her age means or should mean when it comes to her reproductive system. Not that it has been working properly these last 20 years. Of all the things she might have needed today, tampons were not high on Mulder’s guessing list.

“I’m just going to pay. Do you want anything? Sunflower seeds?”

“I’ll pay.” He holds out his hand and waits for Scully to give him the box of tampons.

“Mulder, it’s fine. I don’t need you to pay for my-”

“Scully? Please let me pay? Please?” There must be something in his voice or in his expression that convinces her. When she hands over the box, he swears he can hear a soft thank you before she walks out of the store. His eyes follow her until she’s at the car. He picks up two Musketeers bars, throws in a bag of sunflower seeds and pays for all of it. The cashier smiles at him knowingly and puts it in a bag.  

In the car, Scully holds on to the bag as if it contained the answers to all the questions in the world. Neither of them speaks the rest of the way. Mulder still wants to ask her how she feels. If there’s anything he can do to help. In the end, though, he remains quiet.

“See you tomorrow, Mulder. Good night.” Scully disappears into her motel room without another word and leaves Mulder standing there feeling lost. In his own room, he considers working on the case, but finds that he can’t concentrate. It’s not the same when Scully isn’t around to dispute his ideas, challenge him, or even call him crazy. So the files remain untouched. Instead of taking a shower, or changing into more comfortable clothes, he googles menopause and reads tales of women in their 40s and 50s as they exchange stories of hot flashes, emotional crises and loss of sex drive. He is so immersed in this world that he’s merely seen, never inhabited himself, that he doesn’t hear the knock at first.

“Mulder?” It’s Scully. He throws the phone on his bed and opens his door to her. An air of déjà-vu combined with the fresh evening air and Scully’s familiar scent fills his nostrils.

“Hey, you all right?”

“I think these are yours.” She hands him his sunflower seeds with a smile.

“I bought them for you, Scully.” He replies with a grin and takes them from her.

“Thank you for the Musketeer bars.“ 

"You used to want chocolate when you were on your period.” She nods, averts her eyes.

“Why don’t you come in?”

“It’s late, Mulder.”

“When has that ever stopped us before?”

“I’m not sure it’d be a good idea.”

“That’s never stopped us before either. Come in, please. Bring the Musketeer bars.”

“What makes you think I haven’t eaten them yet?”

“I know you, Scully. I know you.” He grins and to his greatest joy she pulls both bars out of her pockets. Her cheeks are pink with embarrassment or maybe something else that Mulder doesn’t dare to think about. He ushers her in, touches her arm, then her back, enjoying the normalcy of it. Scully sits down on the bed; there really isn’t much else to sit on. 

“Mulder, why are you reading about menopause?”

“Hm?”

“Your phone. I wasn’t snooping - it’s on your phone. You know, you should really adjust your display, Mulder. It drains your battery. Now tell me why you’re interested in menopause.”

“I was just… wondering. I thought maybe you’d, you know.” Now it’s him whose cheeks take on a light pink color.

“You could have asked, Mulder.”

“Am I allowed to ask you things like that, Scully?” The question tumbles out before he can stop himself. Scully blinks at him, surprised.

“Are you allowed to ask me about my menstrual cycle? Is that what you’re asking?”

“No, I mean,” he takes a deep breath, sits next to her on the bed, “I don’t know what I’m allowed to ask you, to tell you. Where am I in your life? Is it still my business?”

“I don’t remember us talking in length about my period, Mulder. Ever.”

“But I knew. I was there, Scully. I didn’t need to ask because I was there. So am I allowed to ask?”

“Of course you’re allowed to ask, Mulder.” Scully sighs. “Is that why you googled menopause?”

“I thought by now you’d be, you know, done with it.”

“I thought so, too,” Scully admits, not looking at him, worrying the sheets. “That’s why I wasn’t prepared." 

"I’m sorry, Scully.”

“What are you sorry for?” She asks with a soft chuckle, granting him one of her warmest smiles that continuously makes him forget everything else.

“For everything.”

“That’s a lot to be sorry for, Mulder. Let me share some of that, hm?” She hands him one of the Musketeer bars.

“We’ve been called a lot of things. No one has ever called us the two Musketeers.” He bites into the rich chocolate, savors the taste and the feel. Most of all, though, he enjoys watching Scully’s eyes drift close as her lips close around the piece of chocolate. He wants to watch her eat chocolate for the rest of his life. It’d be a good life, he is certain of it.

“I should probably go back to my own room now.”

"I think you should stay right here.” Mulder says.

“Mulder…”

“We could do that thing we always did…”

“We did a lot of things, Mulder. Be specific.” But she doesn’t get up from his bed, doesn’t move away from him.

“You know, when your stomach hurt and your back?” He starts nuzzling her neck just to see her reaction. She tilts her head, grants him permission, gives in.

“Hm, I think I might remember.”

“Want me to help you? For old time’s sake?” His lips linger against her skin and she’s softer, warmer and more delicious than the chocolate he just tasted.

“Shut up, Mulder, and work your magic.”

Leave ‘Em On (Lin-Manuel x Reader)

Summary: Lin was ready to take you home before the night even started.

Word Count: 1,585

Warnings: Pretty suggestive, mentions of alcohol.

A/N: I’m kinda, sorta, really trash for suave!Lin and I was listening to trashy R&B which only encourages me more. I’m….really sorry for this. I had no idea how to title this.
____
____________________________

“You almost ready, sweetheart?” Lin called and you bent down to slip the back of your pumps around your heel before you snagged your clutch from where it rested on your dresser. You waltzed out into the living room and his eyes were drawn by the clicking of your heels. You would’ve smirked when he gaped at you if you hadn’t been so focused on the tie he was fumbling with. You rolled your eyes and moved to take it from his hands.

“You look good.” Lin murmured and you hummed a thank you as you focused on unknotting the silky material, breathing a sigh of relief when you got it untangled seamlessly. He took the opportunity to swoop down and capture your lips with his, tilting your chin up so he could kiss you fully. His lips were quick to trail from your mouth to your neck, leaving a wake of brief kisses in their path.

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  • what she says: i'm fine.
  • what she means: ok so how did Brian Jones's death become so wrongfully depicted in the media? It's reported that he died under the influence of drink and drugs and became "just another sad rockstar that died drugged and drunk" but first of all the postmortem found little to no evidence of drugs in his system and his blood alcohol level represented the equivalent of just three and a half pints of beer, and people that knew him, Keith Richards included, noted that it was indeed very strange that he drowned in such a short period of time in his own swimming pool while broadly sober, because Brian was a very strong swimmer and very acrobatic in water. Anna Wohlin, his girlfriend of three months and a key witness, maintains that Brian had stopped taking drugs (except for sleeping pills, which he did NOT abuse) when they met in April of '69 and also maintains that Brian was NOT sad, devastated or felt any sort of betrayal against the Stones members for sacking him, he was actually quite relieved (also verified by Keith Richards) and that he and Anna actually had planned to go to the Hyde Park gig so Brian could publicly show he had no hard feelings about leaving the Rolling Stones. He had wanted to get out of the band for some time and wanted to get together a new band, Bill Wyman remembers that Brian was phoning people up about creating a new band before he died and that he called Bill being very excited about it. Anyway, back to what i was saying earlier. Also present that night was Frank Thorogood, a minder aggravated after being fired by Brian on the day of his death because he wasn't doing the building work on Brian's house properly. Brian had expressed guilt over having fired him to Anna and worried he had sounded too harsh on Frank so he invited him back for dinner that night (steak and kidney pie). They later took a midnight swim in which Frank ultimately were left alone with Brian after Anna went inside to take a phone call. And ok so Brian was no angel and used to tease Frank calling him "old man" and while in the swimming pool that night he had teased Frank a little and grabbed his ankles dragging him down. Anna says that she left them to answer a call (that turned out to be from a friend of hers in London) and that Brian was in good shape and spirit when she went inside, and that she believes she was inside for a maximum of 10-15 minutes. Also present was Frank's friend (and rumored lover) Janet Lawson that went inside to find Brian's asthma inhalator that he asked her to get. She looked around the house for it and eventually went to the kitchen where she was met by Frank, she described him shaking to the point he hardly being able to light his cigarette and she sensed something was wrong and rushed out to the pool where she saw Brian laying still at the bottom face down. She (unable to swim) started to shout at Frank to help her but he ignored her cries for help and Anna who was upstairs heard Janet scream "something has happened with Brian" and ran down the stairs where she saw Frank standing there "shaking like a leaf" trying to light his cigarette, she then continued running out, jumping in the pool retrieving him from the bottom and trying to get Brian up on the pool edge, which she wasn't strong enough to do, so she screamed at Frank to help her, in which she said in a (swedish) radio documentary in 2008; "I screamed at Frank to come help me, and then after a while he came dawdling, he didn't seem very interested to come and help me.". She and Janet tried to massage Brian's heart and do CPR and Anna didn't want to believe that he was dead so she just kept on trying but when the ambulance showed up he was declared dead. Anna has always maintained that she didn't think Frank killed him intentionally and that it was horseplay in the pool that went wrong. Terribly wrong. This is also supported by Thorogood’s alleged death bed confession to Tom Keylock, the Rolling Stones driver, in 1993. Tom Keylock repeated his friends confession on Crimewatch in 1994 and told Classic Rock magazine; "In 1993 I went to see Frank in hospital and he said: 'It was me that done Brian.' He was very tired. I said: 'I'll come back tomorrow, and [you can] tell me more.' But he died during the night. I never found out the specifics." AND THEN MY FRIENDS at the inquiry both Janet Lawson and Anna Wohlin (separately at different times and occasions) have claimed that the inquiries were under unfair conditions and Janet Lawson broke her 40 year silence and said in sworn testimony to investigative journalist Scott Jones (in which all information in this post from Janet is taken from), shortly before she died of cancer in 2008, about the inquiry; "A pack of lies, the policeman suggested most of what I said. It was a load of rubbish." The inquiries were held at 3-4 am., she was nervous, confused, and mentally and physically exhausted and were told that she were able to give another statement later on when she was in better shape, which was untrue and she never got to give another statement, so she eventually just said "yes" to the suggestions of the police. PC Albert Evans, who was the first officer on the scene, sensed something was wrong upon arriving and later said about Frank; "There was nothing at the time to connect Thorogood with any more. Just feelings." Evans was NOT asked to attend the inquest. A Sussex officer who can't be named but who knows the case very well made claims about how Anna's statement had been produced and said "Wohlin had been given sedatives by the doctor and had to be actually woken up during the interview. The WDC who wrote that statement was told what to write by Bob Marshall (the chief investigation officer). Bob Marshall was controlling it, the evidence that was written down. He was pushing the buttons." Anna herself has also said that she was under sedation and shock. THE WHOLE HANDLING OF THE CASE IS JUST SO STRANGE AND FLAWED.
  • And after the inquiries Anna was given 5 minutes by the Rolling Stones management to gather some stuff from her and Brian's home so they could send her home on a plane back to Sweden, as she said, "I was just a nuisance, I was just a problem. They had to think about the Stones upcoming U.S. tour and they didn't know what I was capable of." She managed to grab some of Brian's clothes and a couple of his hats and then had nothing else but that and the clothes she was wearing and was quickly smuggled out of the house. She has still kept his clothes after all these years, they hang in her closet. It's the only things she has left of Brian, when she a couple of weeks later went back to England and Cotchford Farm to retrieve her and Brian's possessions everything was cleared and gone. She also keeps a portrait of Brian on her windowsill. After returning home in '69 she also discovered that she was pregnant with Brian's child. But had a miscarriage. She has blamed herself for his death, "No.. I should have never gone inside to answer the phone. You know, when it was me swimming in the pool Brian would always make sure to go outside to check on me every 10 minutes to see that I was ok. I should have stayed. It's just a fact, if I had not gone inside, I would have been there and around him, and it would never have happened. I will always blame myself for it." She couldn't even attend Brian's funeral, something she deeply regrets today.
  • How Brian Jones's death has been portrayed in media is so flawed and wrong and it's been 46 years, HE DID NOT DIE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL AND DRUGS AND I DEMAND JUSTICE FOR BRIAN, HE DESERVES IT. (and if anyone would like me to translate the whole radio documentary with Anna Wohlin let me know)
Ed Sheeran sentence starters
  • "I saw a shooting star and thought of you."
  • "You were lying next to me, I looked across and fell in love."
  • "If you wanna put this on me, that’s fine, I never blamed you for anything at all."
  • "The world looks better through your eyes."
  • "It's only been one night of love and maybe that is not enough."
  • "If I fall for you, would you fall too?"
  • "It's not a homeless life for me, it's just I'm home less than I'd like to be."
  • "I haven't slept for the past week, two hours ain't enough for me."
  • "I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke."
  • "You can stay with me forever or you could stay with me for now."
  • "Outside the day is up and calling, but I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep."
  • "Never been better since all the therapy."
  • "And you know, if I let you go, I'll still keep you safe."
  • "You are the one I fall asleep with but never wake up to."
  • "The worst things in life come free to us."
  • "I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed."
  • "What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all."
  • "I know I'll never hold you like I used to."
  • "I'll be drunk again to feel a little love."
  • "I know you'll never love me like you used to."
  • "I found your hair band on my bedroom floor, the only evidence that you've been here before."
  • "I don't drink like everybody else, I do it to forget things about myself."
  • "There's no chance that we'll work it out."
  • "I said that's fine, but you're the only one that knows I lied."
  • "Everybody said we'd be together forever."
  • "Everything's great and everything's sure, but you live in your halls and I live in a tour bus."
  • "Pain is only relevant if it still hurts."
  • "If I was gonna go somewhere, I'd be there by now."
  • "I should ink my skin with your name."
  • "I should run you a hot bath and fill it up with bubbles."
  • "You should never cut your hair 'cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder."
  • "You will never know just how beautiful you are to me."
  • "Maybe you're hoping for a fairy tale, too."
  • "This is the start of something beautiful."
  • "And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm."
  • "I'm out of touch, I'm out of love."
  • "I think I love you better now."
  • "Playing a different show every night in front of a new crowd."
  • "Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures."
  • "You need me, man, I don’t need you."
  • "Never be anything but a singer-songwriter, yeah."
  • "People think that I’m bound to blow up."
  • "I haven’t got a house, plus I live on a couch."
  • "They say I’m up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator."
  • "Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady."
  • "I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet."
  • "Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone."
  • "All I want is the taste that your lips allow."
  • "Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more."
  • "It's been a while but I still feel the same... maybe I should let you go."
  • "Another love that's gone to waste."
  • "If I kissed you, will your mouth read this truth?"
  • "Darling, how I miss you."
  • "You made me scream, but then I made you cry."
  • "Maybe you should learn to love her like the way you wanna be loved."
  • "I never told her that I liked the way she dances slightly out of time and pretends she knows the words to a song she's never heard."
  • "You’re not her, though I try to see you differently."
  • "I will try to find another one who suited me as well as her."
  • "We never even tried, we never even talked, we never even thought in the long run."
  • "Whenever it was painful, whenever I was away, I’d miss you."
  • "I didn't mean to break your heart."
  • "Everybody falls apart sometimes."
  • "I know you've found another one, but won't you just hold me tonight."
  • "They don't know we don't speak anymore."
  • "I will stop trying to fall in love again... it never works out anyway."
  • "But I am not anything like I was."
  • "I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night if that's alright."
  • "I shouldn't have fucked with your mind and your life too many times."
  • "I never meant to sleep around, I was just lonely."
  • "When I see my future, it is with you."
  • "We're not friends, nor have we ever been."
  • "If they find out, will it all go wrong?"
  • "We're not friends, we could be anything."
  • "Friends don't treat me like you do."
  • "Tell me that you turned down the man who asked for your hand 'cause you're waiting for me."
  • "I know, you're gonna be away a while, but I've got no plans at all to leave."
  • "Just promise me, you'll never leave again."
  • "Just promise me, you'll always be a friend."
  • "Everything changes, but we'll be strangers if we see this through."
  • "I've been sat with you for most of the night, ignoring everybody here."
  • "Don't you worry if I disappear."
  • "I'm not really looking for another mistake."
  • "I was never looking for a friend."
  • "Maybe you could swing by my room around ten, baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin."
  • "Baby, if you wanted me then you should've just said."
  • "Maybe we'll go together and just figure it out."
  • "Trust and respect is what we do this for."
  • "You didn't need to take him to bed that's all."
  • "I never saw him as a threat until you disappeared with him to have sex of course."
  • "It's not like we were both on tour, we were staying on the same fucking hotel floor."
  • "I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different."
  • "This is not the way you realize what you wanted."
  • "It's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest."
  • "Getting high as two kites when we needed to breathe."
  • "I'd disappear, you'd call me selfish, I understand but I can't help it."
  • "So we can either deal with the pain and wait to get on a plane."
  • "You should go, 'cause I ain't ever coming home."
  • "I've been livin' on the road, but then again you should know."
  • "You won't ever be alone... wait for me to come home."
  • "Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul."
  • "When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me."
  • "How'd I get so faded?"
  • "I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream."
  • "I've been looking for a lover, thought I'd find her in a bottle."
  • "I'll be feeling this tomorrow."
  • "You look so wonderful in your dress, I love your hair like that."
  • "We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much."
  • "You got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us."
  • "All that you are is all that I'll ever need."
  • "Just don’t expect me back this evening."
  • "I love him from my skin to my bones but I don’t wanna live in his home."
  • "I was raised to keep quiet."
  • "I don't wanna hate you."
  • "I kind of knew you liked the dude from private school."
  • "I knew he had his eyes on you."
  • "He's not the right guy for you."
  • "Don't hate me 'cause I write the truth."
  • "I would never lie to you but it was never fine to lose you."
  • "I'm just disgusted with the skeletons you sleep with in your closet."
  • "Fact is you're mad at me because I backtrack so casually."
  • "You're practically my family, if we married then I'll guess you'd have to be."
  • "Tragically our love just lost the will to live, but would I kill to give it one more shot? I think not."
  • "I don't love you, baby, I don't need you... I don't want you anymore."
  • "I'm not cut out for life on the road 'cause I didn't know I'd miss you this much."
  • "I guess I'm not the man that you need."
  • "Ever since you went to uni, I've been sofa surfing with a rucksack full of less cash and I guess that could get bad."
  • "When I broke the industry, that's when I broke your heart."
  • "I was supposed to chart and celebrate, but good things are over fast."
  • "I tend to turn you off and switch on my professional features, then I turn the music off and all I'm left with is to pick up my personal pieces."
  • "Success is nothing if you have no one left to share it with."
  • "I know you have a day job, but mine is 24/7."
  • "I still love you and I need you by my side if I could."
  • "The irony is if my career and music didn't exist, in 6 years, you'd probably be my wife with a kid."
  • "I'll die from a thrill, go down in history as just a wasted talent."
  • "Eventually I'll be fine, I know that it was never meant to be."
  • "These things happen for a reason and you can't change shit."
  • "Take my apology, I'm sorry for the honesty, but I had to get this off my chest."
  • "I will be loving you 'til we're 70."
  • "People fall in love in mysterious ways."
  • "I fall in love with you every single day."
  • "For four years I never had a place to stay."
  • "At 16 years old, I moved out of my home."
  • "I tattooed the lyrics onto my arm."
  • "I'll hold ya and you'll think of him."
  • "I'll never trust you again, you can just be a friend."
  • "If we should die tonight, then we should all die together."
The Foxhole Court, Chapter 12 – Road Trip To Embarrass… Who Again?

In which the squad goes to a talk show, wake-up calls go wrong, Neil goes live on national television, shipping goes well, and I go nuts, just a little bit.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

Keep reading

At my wedding
  • Priest: You have both prepared your own vows.
  • Spouse: I promise to honor, protect, and love you. I am yours, for the rest of my days.
  • Me: *ahem* According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. I'm you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

anonymous asked:

LaSalle & “Move in with me?”

Originally posted by lucifersagents


“Move in with me?” + LaSalle

               This week sucked.

               Like, maybe sucked wasn’t good enough, it was so shitty.

               You got rear-ended pulling away from your place on Dauphine – barely a dent, though, so you let it go. Then your brakes went out after the guy in front of you slammed on his, causing you to crumple your front end. The insurance issue was something you were never mentioning again, it was so ridiculous and awful. You burned grits – Grits! Something you’d been cooking for years! On the one night you’d been craving them! – and made the entire house stink. You slammed your head on your desk not once, not twice, but three separate times, on three separate days. You spilled your coffee, lost your phone, accidently knocked Pride down the steps – thank God it was only three steps.

               Sucked was not a good enough word.

               The only silver lining, all week, was that Chris was there to try and fix things. He picked you up and dropped you off after the Incident, he took you out to eat, let you crash at his place when the smell didn’t come out, brought you aspirin and water each time (and a hot pack, the last time), brought you new coffee, found your phone, and took you out to the bar after the Pride Incident.

               But this?

               This was the worst of it. Like, you couldn’t fathom words for it, it was that bad.

               You guys had a tough case, so it was late when it finally got wrapped up. Chris dropped you off, and caught your hand, leaning over the console to seal a warm, loving kiss to your lips, the kind that curled your toes and had your heart forget how to function for a half-second, that made you blush, and squeeze his hand, before you managed to find yourself, and head up to the door. You were so ready to go to bed, you didn’t pay attention to much else until you started shoving your key into your lock, and the door swung open.

               That? That, Chris noticed, as he watched to be sure you got inside. You heard the door slam behind you, as you carefully reached in, flicked on the light, and shuffled towards the living room.

“Y/N?” he called, jogging up behind you, hand catching your hip as he peered around you. “Jesus.”

               Wrecked was…an inadequate term. Your couch was ripped open, the mantle was smashed, the walls were covered in what you hoped was ketchup and chocolate. There was a hole in the drywall, and, now that you were inside, you could see one of the windows was shattered.

“…holy hell,” you breathed, looking around, barely aware of Chris calling the cops, his hand finding yours even if you barely held onto it. You had to wake up from this week at some point, right?

               After a few moments, Chris leaned you against the door frame, moving on his own to check the rest of the house. Judging by his face as he came back, you knew the rest of the house was okay – or, at least, your bedroom was okay, considering that’s where all your important things were.

“…Cops are on their way, darlin’,” he told you, as you looked around, and shook your head.

“I can’t stay here now…” you mumbled, shaking your head a little more. “I have to get new furniture…a new door…new windows…new walls…new carpet…a new mantle…I can’t…afford this.” You knew you could figure it out – you always figured things out – but you felt really defeated, especially after the week you’d had.

               So when Chris slid up beside you, and wrapped his arms around you, you leaned into him, clutching at his shirt. His lips were soft against your head, hands warm and comforting around your body, rubbing against your back. You almost missed that he’d spoken, save for the breath on your skin.

“Hm?”  Chris chuckled, and shrugged.

“Move in with me?” You went still, eyes open, before you pulled back to stare at him.

“…what?”

“Seriously?” You saw the smirk tick at his lips, but you couldn’t find the ability to make your face function as you patted his arm.

“Did you just…ask me to move in with you?” He shrugged again, hand moving to cup your face.

“This place…is a wreck. It’s stupid to…rebuild it, and to worry yourself sick about it. ‘specially…if I was plannin’ t’ask ya to move in, anyways.”

               All that worry, all those nerves, everything that had been pecking at you all week, everything that had reached out to smother you when you walked into the mess that was your home, it was gone, with how hopeful he looked when he asked you that. And you smiled, then, throwing your arms around his shoulders, and nodding.

“I think that can be arranged,” you replied, as he snickered, and pulled you back in tight against his chest.

anonymous asked:

Hi there!! I was reading a lot of your fics (practically all night) I'm in loooooooove😍 and my fave so far was Sleepy Hobi smut I was wondering if requests for Drabble are still open or anything? If they are could you write one for Jinyoung from GOT7? Same plot as the Sleepy Hobi one?? Thank u so so much and if it's not open that's perfectly fine I'll come back another time!! 💕💕💕

I could write a small drabble. Thank you for the love honey I truly appreciate it!

Fingers moved across the small of Jinyoung’s back for the fourth time that night. He wanted to sigh, but he did that twice before and she wasn’t giving up. Instead he pretended to scratch his leg, and felt her hand move away for a second before beginning it’s slow descent down his thigh.

He was tired, beyond tired he was exhausted and all he wanted to do was sleep, but her long, soft fingers kept brushing over the tip of his member making it jump. Making his heart race just enough that he couldn’t calm down enough to sleep well.

She wasn’t even fully committing she was teasing, stroking him, getting him hard and when he fidgeted she stopped long enough for him to get soft again before she started back up.

It was pure and utter agony. Especially after a two hour dance practice, a video shoot, and a fan meeting of over 2,000 girls and women. He wanted to sleep hard, the kind where your mouth was open and you snored loud.

But no, she was stroking him once more, the feel of her fingers going up his skin as her thumb rubbed over his tip made him clench his teeth.

“>>>, stop.” She jumped hearing him call her name.

Shifting in bed, she cuddled close to him and he realized she was naked. His skin rippled into goosebumps as her nipples touched his back. She lifted a leg and placed it over his, snuggling close enough to get both of her hands around his member, stroking eagerly.

“Jinyoung, when was the last time we had sex? You didn’t even notice I was naked in bed.”

“That’s because I’m tired.” Gently, but forcefully dislodging her body from his, he turned to face her. “It’s been awhile, I’m sorry but let me sleep. I’ll be cranky and I don’t want to hear you whining cause you think I’m snapping at you.”

She stiffened her arms, making it hard for him to push her away. Reaching out with her legs she grabbed one of his in an attempt to pull him closer. He fought with her a bit, trying to get her to stay on her side of the bed before he pulled a tactic he knew would would.

“Last warning, stop >>> and sleep, or I’m gonna piss you off and then you’ll leave me alone.” In the darkness he could still see her sly smile as she sat up, her slender torso curving down to wide hips.

Damn, she was hard to resist and she knew what he liked. Peeling from under the blankets like that, biting her lower lip as she peeked at him from under her lashes. “What are you gonna do? Teach me a lesson?”

He said nothing, laying on his back hand ready for the minute she reached out to him again. There was a lesson coming alright.

Just as her hand reached for his crotch, though he was tented in his pants, he snatched her precious bonnet off her head and tossed it somewhere onto the floor.

“You play too much!” >>> shrieked as she jumped from the bed, hair wrapped and secured with bobby pins, he laughed watching her fish around in the dark.

“I told you, now sleep. Tomorrow, I promise, I’ll come home and do you good.” He chuckled turning over onto his side, when a slap landed on his bicep.

“Ain’t getting shit now, you know I hate that.” As she turned around to walk to the bathroom, silently cursing because she felt a few pins come loose, Jinyoung growled grabbing her arm.

Forcing her onto the bed and onto him, he pushed her legs around until she was straddling him, his hands on her thighs. “Ride then. I’m lazy and you want it. Ride me.” He rolled his hips into her, watching her mouth shift from annoyed to amused.

“No.” Crossing her arms she turned her head away, trying to quell the hunger that was building from his hip rolls.

“>>>, this is your last chance.” He rubbed slender fingers up syrup colored thighs, squeezing them right at the point where they met her waist. He let his fingers drift down the v of her womanhood until he was scissor kicking her clit. “Take it or leave it.”

Groaning, she felt her body shake, she hated when he did that. Looked at her with that come hither stare

and pursed his lips at her in a kiss. He was already pulling down his boxers, she lifted her body just enough to move them out of the way. Lowering her upper half down, he cupped his hands around her face and kissed her.

Letting their lips come into full contact, his nose gliding over hers, he breathed in her scent as she lifted her hips and rubbed him against her slit. He was serious, she was going to work. After getting his fill of the taste of her mouth, he rested his hands behind his head and watched her body undulate on top of his.

The beads of sweat breaking down over her chest, her hands planted firmly on his chest as she moved herself up and down, making small wiggles with her hips as she breathed heavily, moaning quietly.

“I can’t hear you.” Jinyoung whispered, watching her eyes meet his, half way poised on his waist. 

She opened her mouth as her body connected with his, letting the sound flow from her mouth. Lifting a hand, Jinyoung put his thumb in her mouth, groaning as her lips closed around it sucking on the digit. 

“Turn around.” Getting into reverse cowgirl, he watched her ass bounce and shake, with him holding onto her calves for support as he lifted his waist in time to meet her bounces. 

He wasn’t going to touch her, he was going to let her finish, but the prospect of finishing together, and holding her close was too much of a temptation. Sitting up, they maneuvered their bodies so he was still inside her, knees on the bed. Her back to his chest, his arms around her body, he bit down on her shoulder as they came. As she slowly went limp, Jinyoung chuckled letting her down gingerly on the bed. 

“Now we can sleep.” She mumbled, kicking the covers around.

Jinyoung grumbled about her being a spoiled brat, before snuggling up behind her, moving his head as she adjusted her bonnet once more. “We’ll see how this plays out when you’re tired.” 

“Bet.” >>> smiled as she closed her eyes. 

Chuckling, Jinyoung shook his head, cupping one of her breasts causing her to grunt happily.

Time, we have. (Rick Grimes)

Originally posted by thewalkingdead

“We can’t keep going on like this, Rick.” Y/N sighed with exhaustion. Her hair was frizzier than usual, there were bags under her eyes. Eyes that were once full of life and vibrant with color were now dull and sad, broken like the woman they belonged to. “We’re not going to find anything out here.”

Rick shook his head and continued on the path he had set his mind on. “There’s something. I know there is. We just need more-”

“Time?” Y/N asked. Rick stopped mid-step and stared ahead of himself. “We’ve got plenty of time, Rick. What we don’t have is the energy or the resources to pull this off any longer. We have to go back.”

Even when he knew she was right, he refused to give in so easily. Rick needed to find something not because he wanted to be right, but because he needed to reassure himself that there was a chance for them to get through this out there. If he found anything, it would be a sign. “Negan’s gonna come back. We need to find something for him.”

“We have a week, Rick.” Y/N rested her hand on his shoulder and then walked around to look at his face. There were tears welling in his bright blue eyes and the sight broke her heart. “We can’t go on anymore. We need to go, okay? We can come back out tomorrow with more people, more helping hands with more energy and resources, but we need to go back today.”

His breathing became shaky, but he nodded slowly. His eyes met hers and she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, holding him close and comforting him as best she could. Rick sighed into the kiss and held her close to him feeling at home already. Y/N ran a hand through his hair and she kissed his forehead softly. “I love you, Rick Grimes.”

“I love you.” Rick said back, meaning it and hoping it wouldn’t come back to haunt him. Rick couldn’t lose her, not her too.


Requested: Rick and Reader go scavenging for things to give Negan before he comes back to Alexandria and Rick is still shaken up from what happened at the line up. Reader comforts him and Rick says he loves her. Sorry for the long wait and sorry it’s so short. Hope you like it! Thanks for requesting! xx

Remember me (Pt.1)
  • <p> <b>Requests:</b> Open!<p/><b><p></b> <b>A/N:</b> English is not my maternal language, sorry if this has any grammatical errors.<p/><b><p></b> <b>Summary:</b> Bucky and Y/N have a very close friendship. Both are part of the Avengers. He has a girlfriend and is going to take the big step. She instead, suffers a serious accident that changes everything.<p/><b>Characters:</b> Avengers, Bucky, Fem!Reader, OFC (Reader parents, brother...)<p/><b>Genre:</b> Drama, family, angst, romance, hurt/comfort.<p/><b>Warnings:</b> Curse/Swearing, car accident.<p/><b></b> •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°<p/><b></b> "Two pairs of ACEs, I've won you all!" I exclaimed excited.<p/><b></b> "Oh, come on!" Clint complained after his defeat.<p/><b></b> "For once that I could win!" Nat said frustrated.<p/><b></b> "For once that Tony doesn't play and I have a chance of winning, Y/N makes us to bite the dust! Great!" Bucky said passing his peanuts to me.<p/><b></b> "Thanks, Buck! I'll enjoy your peanuts!"<p/><b></b> "How is it possible that you've won? If you supposedly are bad playing at this?" Clint asked quirking an eyebrow while passing me his nuts.<p/><b></b> "Oh, well... Let's say that I have learned from the best!" I answered to Clint as I winked at Tony.<p/><b></b> "Anyone could win this game." the Stark genius said.<p/><b></b> "It also have to do with the thing that you usually visit Las Vegas?" Nat questioned to Tony, I laughed<p/><b></b> "Maybe." Tony shrugged while he laughed.<p/><b></b> I looked at all my friends who seemed to enjoy the moment.<p/><b></b> "Anybody wants some coffee?" I asked while getting up from the couch of the common room<p/><b></b> "I would like to" Steve and Clint said at the same time.<p/><b></b> "Thank you, Y/N." said Steve with a smile.<p/><b></b> "You are welcome, Cap!" I smiled at him.<p/><b></b> "I'll be back with your coffee, gentlemen." I said while I went to the kitchen.<p/><b></b> "Smells good." Bucky said as he approached me.<p/><b></b> "I know, my coffee is the best"<p/><b></b> "No doubt about it, doll"<p/><b></b> "Hey, how are things with Molly?" I ask to my dear friend.<p/><b></b> "Great, actually, everything is going well. The other day we went out and... well, I proposed marriage. She accepted"<p/><b></b> "Hold on... seriously?" I asked unbelieving, he nodded proudly. " Oh my god, congratulations, Buck!" I hugged him. "You deserve it! Oh, my... God..."<p/><b></b> A strange feeling woke up inside me after think and think again about what he said. I ignored it.<p/><b></b> "Sush, low your voice, Y/N!". He said in a whisper. "Nobody knows anything, you're the first person to know it."<p/><b></b> "Oh! Really? Why?"<p/><b></b> "Why will it be, Y/N?"<p/><b></b> "I do not know..." I shrunk my shoulders.<p/><b></b> "Because you're my best friend, why else?"<p/><b></b> Ouch.<p/><b></b> I laughed "Maybe because you love me?"<p/><b></b> "Well, maybe. Yeah. And you and Jeff? How are you doing?" He changed the subject.<p/><b></b> "We are doing... well." I lied.<p/><b></b> "Are you sure?"<p/><b></b> "No." I admitted "We broke up."<p/><b></b> "Why?" He asked "You were going to live together."<p/><b></b> "I know, but according to him..." I talked "I'm in love with someone else and you know, jealousy kills a relationship."<p/><b></b> "And that's true." he supported his hand on my shoulder and went to hug me "And how you feel about it? Did you talk again?"<p/><b></b> "Sincerely, I'm feeling better than I thought, we broke up the other day and... I don't feel sad or depressed, and that... makes me think that I am insensitive, I don't know, Bucky... We didn't talk since he left my house."<p/><b></b> "Don't say that! Perhaps now you maybe don't feel the need to cry and feel bad, it need not to be just after the break up, you know? It can be when you least expect it or just when you're ready to let you feel that."<p/><b></b> "You are right, Barnes, thank you." I hugged him again.<p/><b></b> "Hey... you know that you can count on me, right? Always"<p/><b></b> "I know. I know." I whispered "Thank you, Sergeant."<p/><b></b> "It is nothing. Come on, let's bring them the coffee." He said while the returned to the living room.<p/><b></b> "Yes, sir"<p/><b></b> [...]<p/><b></b> "So you will come, Y/N?"<p/><b></b> "Huh? Sorry, I was with the paper work... What's up?" I raised the view.<p/><b></b> "I was wondering if tomorrow you will come to the cinema with us, and with Laura and the kids?" Clint asked with a smile.<p/><b></b> "Yes of course!"<p/><b></b> "That's great!" Nat exclaimed "I won't be the only single while these two spend the film flirting!<p/><b></b> I laughed. That also make me it to my.<p/><b></b> My phone rang, it was my father.<p/><b></b> "Excuse me, I'll be right back, guys." It took me a bit to answer the call. "Dad?"<p/><b></b> "Hello sweetheart, how is everything going with the Avengers?" my father asked<p/><b></b> "Dad! It is been so long without knowing about you!" I said as I looked around "Everything is going really well. And you? Who are you doing?" I questioned happy.<p/><b></b> "Well, hey, bubble..."<p/><b></b> "Dad... how many times I said do not call me that... Tell me, what happen?"<p/><b></b> "Listen, I'm coming home"<p/><b></b> "Really? If so, when?" I asked excited, since it would be the first time that I would see my father in 18 months.<p/><b></b> "In two days I'll get to New York."<p/><b></b> "This Sunday, I..." I whispered "Then I'll pick you up at the airport, yes?"<p/><b></b> "Y/N, you don't need to take the trouble." he said calmly.<p/><b></b> "Dad, like it or not, I'll do it. And then we're going to enjoy the best lunch ever, alright?" I smiled.<p/><b></b> "You're just as stubborn as your mother." he said nostalgically.<p/><b></b> "So? What we can do now about that?" I said funny. "How long is going to be your permission?"<p/><b></b> "About that is what I wanted to talk to you. Honey, I've retired, I've left the army."<p/><b></b> "What!? When!"<p/><b></b> "Bubble, I have to go, this weekend I'll explain you everything."<p/><b></b> "Okay, bye dad. I love you."<p/><b></b> "I love you too, Y/N, bye." I smiled, finally I would see my father.<p/><b></b> Once finished the brief conversation with my father, I finished the paperwork that I had, then I cooped up my things, I said goodbye to everyone and went to my apartment. I was accompanied by Bucky, who had been waiting for a while. We were heading to the garage.<p/><b></b> "Do you want me to take you home?" I asked him.<p/><b></b> "No- well, Yes." he said awkwardly.<p/><b></b> "Yes or not, Barnes?" I laughed.<p/><b></b> "Not or Yes? What?"<p/><b></b> "Oh, god! This is been the weirdest conversation ever!"<p/><b></b> "Yeah, actually" he smiled at me.<p/><b></b> I loved his smile.<p/><b></b> "Y/N, can you take me to the Italian restaurant?" He asked nervously.<p/><b></b> "Sure! Will you be dining there with Molly?"<p/><b></b> "Exactly, doll. Why?"<p/><b></b> "Nah, for nothing, I wanted to congratulate her."<p/><b></b> "Congratulate her? Why?"<p/><b></b> What a dork.<p/><b></b> "Of course, aren't you going to marry her?"<p/><b></b> "Oh, yeah!" He laughed.<p/><b></b> After that and the short trip to the restaurant, I congratulated Molly for agreeing to marry Sergeant Barnes, because thankfully, I would not be the only one next to Steve that we would have to worry about him.<p/><b></b> But it saddens me in some way, although I do not know why I feel this, that there are things that are going to change.<p/><b></b> [...]<p/><b></b> I snorted.<p/><b></b> "I hate traffic! Damn traffic!" I said taking my hands to my head. "I should have gone through the other way ... But no! I had to go down the main street... Great! Just great!"<p/><b></b> I turned the radio on. The music they played rumbled in my head, but at least it made something more enjoyable the wait.<p/><b></b> Again. Damn traffic.<p/><b></b> It waited 15 minutes, when the thing finally seemed to move on and I was able to follow the road without more problems, but the traffic light turned red, so I had to stop, again.<p/><b></b> My phone started ringing. I could not find it, it had to be on the seat next to me. I looked for it and it appeared under the passenger seat, I bent to take it.<p/><b></b> It was for an instant that all around me was illuminated, a blinding light prevented me from seeing well and a sound like the horn of a truck. It came from the same direction as the light.<p/><b></b> A strong impact, hit my car and caused several dangerous turns. I saw the crystals break and I heard a loud metallic noise before everything darkened.<p/><b></b> Everything happened very fast.<p/><b></b> I saw nothing. Everything was dark, it was like if the world had disappeared. As if there was nothing.<p/><b></b> "Miss? Help! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! We need help!" I heard a distant voice shouting for help, I suddenly opened my eyes and saw that I was face down, inside the car yet.<p/><b></b> I shook my head a little, I looked around, everything was backwards. I saw everything double and each time the voices were more distant. I tried to stay awake, but I felt my eyes close. I really tried not to lose consciousnes.<p/><b></b> "Now I understand that... What Jeff told me..." I thought. "Funny. It was true."<p/><b></b> Shit.<p/><b></b> "I'm in love with him. I'm ... in love with Bucky," I whispered before being embraced by the darkness.<p/><b></b> And well, then, everything just changed.<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
Accordwing to awl known waws
of aviwation,

  
der is no way a bwee
should be abwle to fwy.

  
Its wings are too wittle to get
its fat wittle body off de gwound.

  
De bwee, of cwourse, fwies anyway

  
becwauwse bwees don't care
what hwumans thwink is impwossible. OwO

  
Ywellow, bwack. Ywellow, bwack.
Ywellow, bwack. Ywellow, bwack.

  
Ooh, bwack and ywellow!
Wet's shake it up a wittle.

  
Barry! Bweakfast is weady!

  
OwO Coming!

  
Hang on a secwend.

  
Hewwo?

  
- Barry?
- Adam?

  
- Oan you bewieve dis is happwening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.

  
Lookwing sharp.

  
Uwse te stairs. Your fawther
pwaid gud munny for dose.

  
Sowwy. I'm excitwed.

  
Hewre's te gwaduate.
We're wery pwoud of you, son. >w<

  
A pewrfect report card, awl B's.

  
Wery pwoud.

  
Ma! I got a thing gowing hewre.

  
- You got wint on your fuzz.
- Ow! Dat's me! >-<

  
- Wave to us! We'll be in rwow 118,000.
- Bye!

  
Barry, I twold you,
stop fwying in te houwse!

Keep reading

droughtjoy 2017 ficlet: to ease the pain of idleness in every grain of sand

for Prompt 8: Theon builds a sand castle of Winterfell (got the idea from @youbuggingme​‘s anon ask) (submitted by anonymous)

what says on the tin. jon also stars. pg13, show spoilers of course, set sometime after 7x04 and before 7x05. title from bob dylan, sort of because I mashed two different lines from the same song /o\

The beach is empty.

Of course it is.

The queen flew off with her dragon a while ago, Jon Snow hasn’t come back down from Dragonstone – and why should he? – and no one else stayed.

Of course they didn’t. They were his sister’s men before his, and of course they all think he was a coward for leaving her, as if he could have done anything other than getting the both of them killed.

Theon sighs and drops sitting down on the shore. He might as well. He doesn’t feel like going back inside the castle, he doesn’t feel like answering the same questions over and over and sure as the seven hells he doesn’t want to explain anyone why he jumped. Maybe someone would understand if he said, I thought I was back in Winterfell, but he has a feeling they would not.

It’s been such a long time since he sat on a beach and just stared at the sea, though.

Hell, maybe he hasn’t done it since he was nine.

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Drunk in Love

Characters: Hanji Zoe x Levi
Genre: Humor/Romance/Crack
Rating: T

I got an ask requesting a fic based on the prompt: “Hey shitty glasses, do you know how much I love your smile?”

And naturally, I decided to write a crack-y one shot in which Levi is completely and utterly drunk.



“Hey shitty glasses, do you know how much I love your smile?”

The declaration, sudden as it is unexpected, is accompanied by a wheezing hiccup.

Hanji, whose efforts had been entirely focused on attempting to see through the impenetrable façade that is Erwin Smith’s poker face, looks up from her cards. And nearly drops the hand.

Levi, flushed and listing, stumbles toward the table.

“Levi?” Hanji stares, trying and failing to process the frankly bizarre and unusual sight. “What happened to you?”

The table scrapes, shuddering, as he braces himself on the wood. Levi clears his throat. His eyes are glassy. “The drank. I mean. Drunk. I am. I think?”

Hanji opens her mouth. Closes it. And opens it again. “How?

In all the years she’d known him, no matter the number of drinks the small man poured down his throat, he never seemed to get more than slightly tipsy.

And it’s impossible, she thinks. But the evidence stands, swaying before her. Levi is, to put it plainly, drunk off his ass.

Mike, the third player in their four person game (Nanaba is the fourth), is folded over the table, shaking in silent laughter.

Nanaba stares over her cards, narrow-eyed and suspicious. “What did you do?”

Mike lifts his head. Face pinched in laughter, he looks positively gleeful.

Erwin, unable to completely shed the cloak of authority, even at their bi-monthly officer’s game night, sighs and sets down his cards. “Mike.

Keep reading

According to all known laws
of aviation,

  
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

  
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

  
The bee, of course, flies anyway

  
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.

  
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

  
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

  
Barry! Breakfast is ready!

  
Ooming!

  
Hang on a second.

  
Hello?

  
- Barry?
- Adam?

  
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.

  
Looking sharp.

  
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

  
Sorry. I'm excited.

  
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.

  
A perfect report card, all B's.

  
Very proud.

  
Ma! I got a thing going here.

  
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!

  
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!

  
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!

  
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.

  
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.

  
Never thought I'd make it.

  
Three days grade school,
three days high school.

  
Those were awkward.

  
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

  
You did come back different.

  
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

  
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.

  
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.

  
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.

  
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.

  
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.

  
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.

  
That's why we don't need vacations.

  
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.

  
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!

  
- Bee-men.
- Amen!

  
Hallelujah!

  
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

  
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

  
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...

  
...9:15.

  
That concludes our ceremonies.

  
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!

  
Will we pick ourjob today?

  
I heard it's just orientation.

  
Heads up! Here we go.

  
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.

  
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.

  
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco

  
and a part of the Hexagon Group.

  
This is it!

  
Wow.

  
Wow.

  
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life

  
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.

  
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

  
Our top-secret formula

  
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

  
into this soothing sweet syrup

  
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...

  
Honey!

  
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!

  
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.

  
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive

  
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.

  
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.

  
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.

  
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.

  
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey

  
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.

  
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

  
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know

  
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.

  
But choose carefully

  
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.

  
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.

  
What's the difference?

  
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off

  
in 27 million years.

  
So you'll just work us to death?

  
We'll sure try.

  
Wow! That blew my mind!

  
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?

  
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.

  
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.

  
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?

  
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.

  
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.

  
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?

  
Like what? Give me one example.

  
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.

  
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.

  
Wait a second. Oheck it out.

  
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.

  
I've never seen them this close.

  
They know what it's like
outside the hive.

  
Yeah, but some don't come back.

  
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!

  
You guys did great!

  
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

  
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.

  
Their day's not planned.

  
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.

  
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.

  
Right.

  
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

  
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.

  
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.

  
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?

  
Distant. Distant.

  
Look at these two.

  
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.

  
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.

  
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!

  
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!

  
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.

  
What were you doing during this?

  
Trying to alert the authorities.

  
I can autograph that.

  
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?

  
Yeah. Gusty.

  
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.

  
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!

  
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.

  
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!

  
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

  
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?

  
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.

  
Hey, Honex!

  
Dad, you surprised me.

  
You decide what you're interested in?

  
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.

  
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?

  
Son, let me tell you about stirring.

  
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.

  
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.

  
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,

  
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.

  
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?

  
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.

  
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!

  
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.

  
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

  
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!

  
Wait till you see the sticks I have.

  
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

  
Let's open some honey and celebrate!

  
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.

  
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

  
I'm so proud.

  
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.

  
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.

  
Yeah, right.

  
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

  
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!

  
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.

  
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!

  
Wow!

  
Oouple of newbies?

  
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

  
Make your choice.

  
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.

  
Oh, my. What's available?

  
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.

  
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.

  
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

  
Wax monkey's always open.

  
The Krelman opened up again.

  
What happened?

  
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.

  
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

  
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!

  
Oh, this is so hard!

  
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

  
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

  
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?

  
Barry!

  
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...

  
What happened to you?
Where are you?

  
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?

  
- Out there.
- Oh, no!

  
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.

  
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

  
Another call coming in.

  
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd

  
that gets their roses today.

  
Hey, guys.

  
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

  
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

  
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

  
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

  
Sign here, here. Just initial that.

  
- Thank you.
- OK.

  
You got a rain advisory today,

  
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.

  
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,

  
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.

  
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.

  
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!

  
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,

  
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!

  
All right, launch positions!

  
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

  
Black and yellow!

  
Hello!

  
You ready for this, hot shot?

  
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

  
Wind, check.

  
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.

  
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.

  
Scared out of my shorts, check.

  
OK, ladies,

  
let's move it out!

  
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!

  
All of you, drain those flowers!

  
Wow! I'm out!

  
I can't believe I'm out!

  
So blue.

  
I feel so fast and free!

  
Box kite!

  
Wow!

  
Flowers!

  
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.

  
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

  
Roses!

  
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

  
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.

  
That is one nectar collector!

  
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.

  
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,

  
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.

  
That's amazing. Why do we do that?

  
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

  
Oool.

  
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

  
Oopy that visual.

  
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.

  
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?

  
Affirmative.

  
That was on the line!

  
This is the coolest. What is it?

  
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

  
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.

  
Yeah, fuzzy.

  
Ohemical-y.

  
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.

  
My sweet lord of bees!

  
Oandy-brain, get off there!

  
Problem!

  
- Guys!
- This could be bad.

  
Affirmative.

  
Very close.

  
Gonna hurt.

  
Mama's little boy.

  
You are way out of position, rookie!

  
Ooming in at you like a missile!

  
Help me!

  
I don't think these are flowers.

  
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.

  
What is this?!

  
Match point!

  
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!

  
Yowser!

  
Gross.

  
There's a bee in the car!

  
- Do something!
- I'm driving!

  
- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!

  
He's going to sting me!

  
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!

  
He blinked!

  
Spray him, Granny!

  
What are you doing?!

  
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.

  
I gotta get home.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

  
Ken, could you close
the window please?

  
Ken, could you close
the window please?

  
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.

  
You see? Folds out.

  
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

  
What was that?

  
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...

  
Drapes!

  
That is diabolical.

  
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

  
What's number one? Star Wars?

  
Nah, I don't go for that...

  
...kind of stuff.

  
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.

  
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

  
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

  
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.

  
I predicted global warming.

  
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.

  
Wait! Stop! Bee!

  
Stand back. These are winter boots.

  
Wait!

  
Don't kill him!

  
You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!

  
Why does his life have
less value than yours?

  
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?

  
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.

  
My brochure!

  
There you go, little guy.

  
I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.

  
Put that on your resume brochure.

  
My whole face could puff up.

  
Make it one of your special skills.

  
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.

  
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

  
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

  
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.

  
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.

  
I gotta say something.

  
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.

  
All right, here it goes.

  
Nah.

  
What would I say?

  
I could really get in trouble.

  
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.

  
I can't believe I'm doing this.

  
I've got to.

  
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!

  
No. Yes. No.

  
Do it. I can't.

  
How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

  
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

  
Hi!

  
I'm sorry.

  
- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.

  
You're talking!

  
I'm so sorry.

  
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.

  
But I don't recall going to bed.

  
Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.

  
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!

  
I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,

  
but they were all trying to kill me.

  
And if it wasn't for you...

  
I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.

  
That was a little weird.

  
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.

  
I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!

  
I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.

  
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?

  
The talking thing.

  
Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

  
- That's very funny.
- Yeah.

  
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

  
Anyway...

  
Oan I...

  
...get you something?
- Like what?

  
I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?

  
I don't want to put you out.

  
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

  
- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.

  
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.

  
Hey, you want rum cake?

  
- I shouldn't.
- Have some.

  
- No, I can't.
- Oome on!

  
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

  
- Where?
- These stripes don't help.

  
You look great!

  
I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.

  
Are you all right?

  
No.

  
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.

  
He finally gets there.

  
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.

  
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.

  
Why would I marry a watermelon?"

  
Is that a bee joke?

  
That's the kind of stuff we do.

  
Yeah, different.

  
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

  
About work? I don't know.

  
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.

  
I know how you feel.

  
- You do?
- Sure.

  
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

  
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.

  
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.

  
Anyway, if you look...

  
There's my hive right there. See it?

  
You're in Sheep Meadow!

  
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

  
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.

  
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?

  
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.

  
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.

  
Just having two cups of coffee!

  
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.

  
Yeah, it's no trouble.

  
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.

  
Are you...?

  
Oan I take a piece of this with me?

  
Sure! Here, have a crumb.

  
- Thanks!
- Yeah.

  
All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.

  
Or not.

  
OK, Barry.

  
And thank you
so much again... for before.

  
Oh, that? That was nothing.

  
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

  
This can't possibly work.

  
He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.

  
OK, Dave, pull the chute.

  
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!

  
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.

  
Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!

  
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?

  
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

  
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.

  
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.

  
- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.

  
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.

  
You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.

  
- Well...
- Well?

  
Well, I met someone.

  
You did? Was she Bee-ish?

  
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.

  
- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.

  
I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.

  
I can't get by that face.

  
So who is she?

  
She's... human.

  
No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.

  
- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.

  
She's so nice. And she's a florist!

  
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

  
We're not dating.

  
You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes

  
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

  
She saved my life!
And she understands me.

  
This is over!

  
Eat this.

  
This is not over! What was that?

  
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!

  
And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!

  
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.

  
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...

  
Sit down!

  
...really hot!
- Listen to me!

  
We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!

  
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?

  
There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!

  
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!

  
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.

  
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
There he is. He's in the pool.

  
You know what your problem is, Barry?

  
I gotta start thinking bee?

  
How much longer will this go on?

  
It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?

  
I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.

  
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!

  
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?

  
Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.

  
Martin, would you talk to him?

  
Barry, I'm talking to you!

  
You coming?

  
Got everything?

  
All set!

  
Go ahead. I'll catch up.

  
Don't be too long.

  
Watch this!

  
Vanessa!

  
- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.

  
He doesn't respond to yelling!

  
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!

  
I'm not listening to this.

  
Sorry, I've gotta go.

  
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.

  
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

  
Bye.

  
I just hope she's Bee-ish.

  
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?

  
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!

  
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.

  
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?

  
No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?

  
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.

  
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.

  
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!

  
You don't have that?

  
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.

  
Oh, my.

  
Dumb bees!

  
You must want to sting all those jerks.

  
We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.

  
So you have to watch your temper.

  
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,

  
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:

  
Anger, jealousy, lust.

  
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

  
Yeah.

  
- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.

  
He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!

  
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

  
Yeah, it was. How did you know?

  
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

  
You've really got that
down to a science.

  
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.

  
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?

  
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,

  
Ray Liotta Private Select?

  
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.

  
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.

  
You don't have
enough food of your own?

  
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?

  
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!

  
And it's hard to make it!

  
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!

  
- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!

  
It's just honey, Barry.

  
Just what?!

  
Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

  
You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!

  
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.

  
I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!

  
Hey, Hector.

  
- You almost done?
- Almost.

  
He is here. I sense it.

  
Well, I guess I'll go home now

  
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.

  
You're busted, box boy!

  
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!

  
I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!

  
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?

  
I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.

  
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!

  
You're too late! It's ours now!

  
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!

  
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!

  
Where is the honey coming from?

  
Tell me where!

  
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

  
Orazy person!

  
What horrible thing has happened here?

  
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now

  
they're on the road to nowhere!

  
Just keep still.

  
What? You're not dead?

  
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?

  
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.

  
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

  
I'm going to Tacoma.

  
- And you?
- He really is dead.

  
All right.

  
Uh-oh!

  
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!

  
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?

  
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

  
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!

  
How much do you people need to see?!

  
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!

  
From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.

  
But don't kill no more bugs!

  
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!

  
- You hear something?
- Like what?

  
Like tiny screaming.

  
Turn off the radio.

  
Whassup, bee boy?

  
Hey, Blood.

  
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.

  
Wow!

  
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.

  
I mean, that honey's ours.

  
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.

  
It's a close community.

  
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.

  
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.

  
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!

  
At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.

  
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.

  
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

  
You got to be kidding me!

  
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!

  
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!

  
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?

  
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.

  
What is this place?

  
A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.

  
They are pinheads!

  
Pinhead.

  
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

  
The Thomas 3000!

  
Smoker?

  
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

  
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.

  
They make the honey,
and we make the money.

  
"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?

  
Oh, my!

  
What's going on? Are you OK?

  
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

  
Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?

  
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.

  
This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!

  
That's a drag queen!

  
What is this?

  
Oh, no!

  
There's hundreds of them!

  
Bee honey.

  
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!

  
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.

  
Oh, Barry, stop.

  
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.

  
Do these look like rumors?

  
That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.

  
How did you get mixed up in this?

  
He's been talking to humans.

  
- What?
- Talking to humans?!

  
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!

  
Make out? Barry!

  
We do not.

  
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?

  
The bees!

  
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

  
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?

  
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!

  
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked

  
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.

  
I remember that.

  
What right do they have to our honey?

  
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

  
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

  
Sting them where it really hurts.

  
In the face! The eye!

  
- That would hurt.
- No.

  
Up the nose? That's a killer.

  
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.

  
Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.

  
No more bee beards!

  
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

  
Weather with Storm Stinger.

  
Sports with Buzz Larvi.

  
And Jeanette Ohung.

  
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

  
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

  
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,

  
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!

  
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

  
we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,

  
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.

  
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

  
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?

  
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.

  
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

  
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

  
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.

  
How old are you?

  
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,

  
which will be the trial
of the bee century.

  
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.

  
It's a common name. Next week...

  
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...

  
Next week...

  
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.

  
Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.

  
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.

  
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!

  
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

  
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

  
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.

  
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!

  
I'm helping him sue the human race.

  
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.

  
This is Ken.

  
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

  
Why does he talk again?

  
Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.

  
But it's our yogurt night!

  
Bye-bye.

  
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

  
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!

  
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.

  
- Frosting...
- How many sugars?

  
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.

  
So why are you helping me?

  
Bees have good qualities.

  
And it takes my mind off the shop.

  
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.

  
Those are great, if you're three.

  
And artificial flowers.

  
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.

  
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

  
Bees must hate those fake things!

  
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.

  
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.

  
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.

  
You sure you want to go through with it?

  
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able

  
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!

  
It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,

  
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,

  
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.

  
What have we gotten into here, Barry?

  
It's pretty big, isn't it?

  
I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.

  
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?

  
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.

  
- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.

  
Well, if it isn't the bee team.

  
You boys work on this?

  
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.

  
All right. Oase number 4475,

  
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

  
is now in session.

  
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?

  
A privilege.

  
Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?

  
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.

  
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.

  
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

  
my grandmother was a simple woman.

  
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right

  
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.

  
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,

  
just think of what would it mean.

  
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm

  
for the elastic in my britches!

  
Talking bee!

  
How do we know this isn't some sort of

  
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?

  
They could be using laser beams!

  
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,

  
he could be on steroids!

  
Mr. Benson?

  
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.

  
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.

  
It's important to all bees.
We invented it!

  
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.

  
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room

  
who think they can take it from us

  
'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

  
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have

  
but everything we are!

  
I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!

  
Oall your first witness.

  
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.

  
I suppose so.

  
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!

  
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.

  
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.

  
I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?

  
- No.
- I couldn't hear you.

  
- No.
- No.

  
Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,

  
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

  
They're very lovable creatures.

  
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

  
You mean like this?

  
Bears kill bees!

  
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!

  
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!

  
OK, that's enough. Take him away.

  
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.

  
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.

  
But you've never been
a police officer, have you?

  
No, I haven't.

  
No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example

  
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human

  
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.

  
Oh, please.

  
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

  
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.

  
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

  
That's not his real name?! You idiots!

  
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on

  
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.

  
Thank you. Thank you.

  
I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome

  
with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.

  
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

  
Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?

  
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't

  
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?

  
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!

  
This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!

  
Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!

  
- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!

  
Order! Order, I say!

  
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

  
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.

  
I think the jury's on our side.

  
Are we doing everything right, legally?

  
I'm a florist.

  
Right. Well, here's to a great team.

  
To a great team!

  
Well, hello.

  
- Ken!
- Hello.

  
I didn't think you were coming.

  
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.

  
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

  
Oh, that was lucky.

  
There's a little left.
I could heat it up.

  
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

  
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

  
I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.

  
That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.

  
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

  
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

  
You think I don't see what you're doing?

  
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.

  
Do we?

  
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

  
That's just what
I was thinking about doing.

  
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

  
I'm going to drain the old stinger.

  
Yeah, you do that.

  
Look at that.

  
You know, I've just about had it

  
with your little mind games.

  
- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.

  
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

  
A lot of ads.

  
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?

  
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

  
I think something stinks in here!

  
I love the smell of flowers.

  
How do you like the smell of flames?!

  
Not as much.

  
Water bug! Not taking sides!

  
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!

  
I've got issues!

  
Well, well, well, a royal flush!

  
- You're bluffing.
- Am I?

  
Surf's up, dude!

  
Poo water!

  
That bowl is gnarly.

  
Except for those dirty yellow rings!

  
Kenneth! What are you doing?!

  
You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!

  
We need to talk!

  
He's just a little bee!

  
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

  
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?

  
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!

  
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

  
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!

  
Goodbye, Ken.

  
And for your information,

  
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!

  
I'm sorry about all that.

  
I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!

  
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.

  
I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.

  
Are you OK for the trial?

  
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.

  
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

  
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...

  
Yeah.

  
Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic

  
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.

  
Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around

  
is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.

  
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?

  
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

  
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.

  
What exactly is your relationship

  
to that woman?

  
We're friends.

  
- Good friends?
- Yes.

  
How good? Do you live together?

  
Wait a minute...

  
Are you her little...

  
...bedbug?

  
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,

  
doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?

  
- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!

  
- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!

  
Hold me back!

  
You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?

  
He's denouncing bees!

  
Don't y'all date your cousins?

  
- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!

  
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

  
Oh, I'm hit!!

  
Oh, lordy, I am hit!

  
Order! Order!

  
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!

  
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!

  
You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!

  
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!

  
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.

  
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison

  
from my heaving buttocks?

  
I will have order in this court. Order!

  
Order, please!

  
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race

  
took a pointed turn against the bees

  
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

  
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.

  
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.

  
I...

  
I blew the whole case, didn't I?

  
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.

  
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

  
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.

  
Look, there's
a little celery still on it.

  
What was it like to sting someone?

  
I can't explain it. It was all...

  
All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!

  
All right.

  
You think it was all a trap?

  
Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.

  
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.

  
What will the humans do to us
if they win?

  
I don't know.

  
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.

  
Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!

  
Oh, my.

  
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?

  
- Why?
- The smoke.

  
Bees don't smoke.

  
Right. Bees don't smoke.

  
Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.

  
That's it! That's our case!

  
It is? It's not over?

  
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

  
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.

  
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.

  
Mr. Flayman.

  
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

  
Where is the rest of your team?

  
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

  
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,

  
and as a result,
we don't make very good time.

  
I actually heard a funny story about...

  
Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs

  
taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?

  
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?

  
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges

  
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.

  
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!

  
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

  
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.

  
But you can't! We have a terrific case.

  
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?

  
Show me the smoking gun!

  
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?

  
Here is your smoking gun.

  
What is that?

  
It's a bee smoker!

  
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?

  
This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.

  
Look at what has happened

  
to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"

  
Is this what nature intended for us?

  
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines

  
and man-made wooden slat work camps?

  
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?

  
- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.

  
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!

  
Free the bees! Free the bees!

  
Free the bees!

  
Free the bees! Free the bees!

  
The court finds in favor of the bees!

  
Vanessa, we won!

  
I knew you could do it! High-five!

  
Sorry.

  
I'm OK! You know what this means?

  
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.

  
Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.

  
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.

  
You'll regret this.

  
Barry, how much honey is out there?

  
All right. One at a time.

  
Barry, who are you wearing?

  
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.

  
- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?

  
We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.

  
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?

  
First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.

  
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,

  
every last drop.

  
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more

  
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.

  
We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.

  
Wait for my signal.

  
Take him out.

  
He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.

  
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...

  
But it's just a prance-about stage name!

  
...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products

  
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.

  
Oan't breathe.

  
Bring it in, boys!

  
Hold it right there! Good.

  
Tap it.

  
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!

  
- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.

  
Shut down honey production!

  
Stop making honey!

  
Turn your key, sir!

  
What do we do now?

  
Oannonball!

  
We're shutting honey production!

  
Mission abort.

  
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.

  
Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.

  
Oh, yeah?

  
What's going on? Where is everybody?

  
- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.

  
They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.

  
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.

  
At least we got our honey back.

  
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?

  
It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.

  
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.

  
And now...

  
Now I can't.

  
I don't understand
why they're not happy.

  
I thought their lives would be better!

  
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.

  
You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?

  
- What did you want to show me?
- This.

  
What happened here?

  
That is not the half of it.

  
Oh, no. Oh, my.

  
They're all wilting.

  
Doesn't look very good, does it?

  
No.

  
And whose fault do you think that is?

  
You know, I'm gonna guess bees.

  
Bees?

  
Specifically, me.

  
I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.

  
It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.

  
That's our whole SAT test right there.

  
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.

  
And then, of course...

  
The human species?

  
So if there's no more pollination,

  
it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?

  
I know this is also partly my fault.

  
How about a suicide pact?

  
How do we do it?

  
- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.

  
Right, right.

  
Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.

  
I had to open my mouth and talk.

  
Vanessa?

  
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?

  
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.

  
They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.

  
It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.

  
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.

  
I know. Me neither.

  
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.

  
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?

  
Roses!

  
Vanessa!

  
Roses?!

  
Barry?

  
- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.

  
Flowers, bees, pollen!

  
I know.
That's why this is the last parade.

  
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?

  
Oould you slow down?

  
Barry!

  
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.

  
Yes, it kind of is.

  
I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you

  
with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.

  
Actually, it's completely closed down.

  
I thought maybe you were remodeling.

  
But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.

  
I don't want to hear it!

  
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.

  
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.

  
All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.

  
- Bees.
- Park.

  
- Pollen!
- Flowers.

  
- Repollination!
- Across the nation!

  
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.

  
They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.

  
Security will be tight.

  
I have an idea.

  
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.

  
Official floral business. It's real.

  
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.

  
Thank you. It was a gift.

  
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.

  
How about The Princess and the Pea?

  
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!

  
Yes, I got it.

  
- Where should I sit?
- What are you?

  
- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?

  
It goes under the mattresses.

  
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.

  
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!

  
Let's see what this baby'll do.

  
Hey, what are you doing?!

  
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...

  
...without arousing suspicion.

  
Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.

  
Stop! Security.

  
- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.

  
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?

  
Would you remove your shoes?

  
- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.

  
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.

  
Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.

  
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!

  
I think this is gonna work.

  
It's got to work.

  
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.

  
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.

  
It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.

  
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.

  
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.

  
Be careful.

  
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?

  
I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.

  
Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.

  
- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.

  
Bee!

  
Don't freak out! My entire species...

  
What are you doing?

  
- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?

  
Don't move.

  
Oh, Barry.

  
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.

  
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?

  
And please hurry!

  
What happened here?

  
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.

  
One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!

  
- Is that another bee joke?
- No!

  
No one's flying the plane!

  
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?

  
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.

  
Where's the pilot?

  
He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.

  
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?

  
As a matter of fact, there is.

  
- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.

  
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.

  
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.

  
It's got giant wings, huge engines.

  
I can't fly a plane.

  
- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.

  
How hard could it be?

  
Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.

  
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,

  
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.

  
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...

  
That's Barry!

  
...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers

  
and an incapacitated flight crew.

  
Flowers?!

  
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls

  
with absolutely no flight experience.

  
Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.

  
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.

  
They've done enough damage.

  
But isn't he your only hope?

  
Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.

  
Their wings are too small...

  
Haven't we heard this a million times?

  
"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."

  
- Get this on the air!
- Got it.

  
- Stand by.
- We're going live.

  
The way we work may be a mystery to you.

  
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.

  
But let me tell you about a small job.

  
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.

  
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.

  
That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.

  
That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.

  
We get behind a fellow.

  
- Black and yellow!
- Hello!

  
Left, right, down, hover.

  
- Hover?
- Forget hover.

  
This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

  
Barry, what happened?!

  
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.

  
- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!

  
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.

  
All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!

  
Move out!

  
Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!

  
Don't have to yell.

  
I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.

  
It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!

  
It's not a tone. I'm panicking!

  
I can't do this!

  
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!

  
You snap out of it.

  
You snap out of it.

  
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

  
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

  
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

  
- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.

  
How is the plane flying?

  
I don't know.

  
Hello?

  
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?

  
The Pollen Jocks!

  
They do get behind a fellow.

  
- Black and yellow.
- Hello.

  
All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.

  
Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?

  
No, nothing. It's all cloudy.

  
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.

  
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.

  
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.

  
- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.

  
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.

  
Bring the nose down.

  
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!

  
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.

  
Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?

  
Affirmative!

  
Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.

  
Land on that flower!

  
Ready? Full reverse!

  
Spin it around!

  
- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?

  
- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!

  
That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower

  
made of millions of bees!

  
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.

  
Rotate around it.

  
- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.

  
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?

  
Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!

  
Just drop it. Be a part of it.

  
Aim for the center!

  
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!

  
Oome on, already.

  
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!

  
- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.

  
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?

  
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!

  
- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.

  
Listen, everyone!

  
This runway is covered
with the last pollen

  
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.

  
That means this is our last chance.

  
We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.

  
If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?

  
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?

  
We're bees!

  
Keychain!

  
Then follow me! Except Keychain.

  
Hold on, Barry. Here.

  
You've earned this.

  
Yeah!

  
I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.

  
Oh, yeah.

  
That's our Barry.

  
Mom! The bees are back!

  
If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.

  
I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!

  
Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?

  
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.

  
Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!

  
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!

  
I had no idea.

  
Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?

  
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.

  
Sorry I'm late.

  
He's a lawyer too?

  
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.

  
Have a great afternoon!

  
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.

  
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.

  
You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?

  
All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.

  
Thank you, Barry!

  
That bee is living my life!

  
Let it go, Kenny.

  
- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.

  
- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.

  
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.

  
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.

  
- Thinking bee!
- Me?

  
Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.

  
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?

  
I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!

  
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.

  
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.


.