I'm crying and I made myself sad

I had the weirdest dream that involved some of my friends. It was actually really cool but then got kind of sad. All of the decisions I made in that dream to protect my friends and myself are the same kind I would make in real life, and I ended up not being able to see the one person I cared about most because I couldn’t protect him as well as I tried and it was sad, dream me was alone and crying about it at the end.

I am in bed, hoping to sleep soon. Today has been a long day, especially with me not sleeping much last night. I am super tired.

I was super sad over dinner. My friend and I were talking about our former cats and I made myself cry by talking about Moo. Only a few months until it has been a year. I feel like I should be over it by now. He was just a pet, right? But really, I don’t view him that way. I never did. He was an eccentric dude that always wore a fur coat. And I feel like maybe I could “get over it” if I knew he didn’t suffer in his final hours, but there is no way to ever find that out. I just wish I could find peace about it. Some days I think maybe I have, but other days prove that wrong. I know some of you have told me there will always be times when you expect to see your former pets. I just feel like I can’t deal with it when I see he’s not there. I did everything I could for him in his final hours but I still feel like I didn’t do enough.

I dunno. Today has been weird.

I’m sorry, I’ve been kinda MIA lately...

I’m so sorry. I’ve hardly been on here, apart from a reblog or intagram photo here and there. (I haven’t made GIFs in ages!) And I know it sounds crazy but being on here just really reminds me of Canada/Vancouver, and it just makes me really sad. I’ve had a really touch time going back home after making so many great friends there. And just as I was getting more work on set, I was forced to leave. 

I’m gonna try my best to get things goig again as soon as possible. And GIF requests are open, if there are any. It might help. 

Once again, I’m sorry.