The Pan-Handler is a superhero who works by night, lurking in the shadows to protect citizens from LGBTQ+ discrimination. Yielding her dual pans as weapons, she uses her super strength and invisible tenancies to destroy anyone who attempts anything against her beloved community. 

Look out, world… You’ve been pan-handled. 

sometime I just think about how easy it would be to market superheroes toward little girls and I am filled with rage

like do these people not realize how fucking easy this shit would be

there’s the dazzler she’s like a popstar and a superhero do you know how many 4-12 year old girls would dig that shit

there’s the wasp and her superpowers are seriously like zapping jerks, flying, and being cuter than everybody else. also she’s a famous fashion designer. and she’s better than you. (like she shrinks and stuff too but mainly her power is being better than you)

she-hulk is like this nerdy chick with the power to get bigger and greener and be spontaneously tougher than everybody in the vicinity like I don’t even know a little girl who wouldn’t slit someone’s throat for the ability to be stronger than all the boys when they pissed her off

little girl likes magic? scarlet witch

little girl likes science? invisible woman

little girl likes spies? black widow

little girl likes aliens? karolina dean

little girl likes bionic arms? misty knight

little girl likes flying horses? wow. guess who has one of those? valkyrie. valkyrie does.

My point is that’s it’s so fucking easy so chop-chop, Marvel, get on it. Seriously, I went ten years of my life thinking superheroes were boys. That’s ten years of you not profiting off of my inability to refrain from buying even the crappiest merchandise you offer if it has a character I love on it. Little girls are an enormous market; they will buy all your shit if you just suggest to them that maybe they’d like to.

or you could just keep on not profiting when you could be making money selling literally any object that has enough space to plaster a female superhero’s face on it. that’s cool too.


and you call yourself a spy Natasha

The Portrait

Based on the prompt: “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”

Fifteen years ago, when nine year old Derek was sat down by his parents and informed of his duty as a prince to his kingdom, he didn’t fully grasp what it meant to be engaged. There was brief talk of marriage that he’d let fly right past him, so far in the future it wasn’t a concern, and the vague knowledge that he was spoken for, but it had little impact on his life at the time. 

He was told his betrothed had just turned three, like Cora, which brought up the memory of his little sister throwing his favorite book in a full toilet just the week before, and then he dismissed the entire issue from his mind when Laura called for him to join their game of hide and seek. He had more important things to worry about than some baby in another land, ruining other people’s prized possessions.

Ten years ago, they received word that Queen Claudia had passed, and fourteen year old Derek had dutifully signed the condolences his mother penned from the family, but it hardly affected him beyond pulling him away in the middle of his sword training. It was a distant death in a distant northeastern kingdom, affecting people Derek had never even seen before. He returned to his training alongside his best friend and future guard Boyd, and that was that.

The same happened nine years ago, upon the marriage of King Jonathon and his new wife, Queen Melissa; he signed the longwinded letter of congratulations, sat through a brief lecture on the importance of keeping up on these things and staying informed of these types of changes for political reasons, and then dashed back outside to where Boyd was waiting with their horses, forgetting it all in seconds. They were a distant family he had no personal connection to, he couldn’t say he felt strongly either way about their brand new union.

Eight years ago, the reality of his situation came crashing down on him with the arrival of a portrait.

The Portrait was the only portrait of his betrothed that was ever sent, and Derek was grateful for King Jonathon’s foresight. The first was upsetting enough on its own, as was the realization that Derek was going to be joined in holy matrimony to its subject, and he didn’t need the customary annual portraits to remind him of his fate. He tried to be less shallow about it, look for the inner beauty and the whip-smart mind his mother always praised after her visits to the north, but there was no getting around it. 

His fiancé was terrifying.

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  • 愛愛愛に撃たれてバイバイバイ - EP

Track: Ai Ai Ai ni Utarete Bye Bye Bye
Artist: FLOW
Album: Ai Ai Ai ni Utarete Bye Bye Bye [Single] Samurai Flamenco OP2


The NA brothers in the Hetalia superhero AU: Alfred has electricity manipulation (which has a variety of applications ranging from generating lighting to manipulating bio-electric currents in the body), and Matthew has phasing/intangibility (the ability to pass through solid matter).

The Avengers Au based on The Dead of July by Whimsicule

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.