I'll write more thoughts on this later

2

BK: During Aang and Zuko’s heyday, the ability to bend lightning was an incredibly rare skill usually reserved for the inner circles of Fire Nation royalty and high-ranking military officers. Now, in the thick of the Avatar world’s own Industrial Age, we see that this skill is, while not widespread, common enough that it is practiced by blue-collar workers changing up massive batteries in the city’s power plants. This kind of work is incredibly taxing on a person’s chi reserves; that’s why the plant bosses tend to get desperate, strapping young men like Mako to sign up for the grueling task. Mako designs by Jin-Sun Kim and Ki-Hyun Ryu. Color by Sylvia Filcak-Blackwolf. Background design by Eun-Sang Yang. Painting by Emily Tetri. 

[x]

Maybe heartbreak works the same as smoking. You know, the first time it happens, when you smoke your first cigarette, it hurts like hell, it makes you cough, tears fill your eyes, it feels like your chest is on fire and your lungs are burning. Then, you try again later, and it still hurts but you knew how it would feel so it’s more bearable. You try again, and again, and time after time, you get used to the burning feeling when you inhale the smoke. And eventually, it stops. The pain stops, you’re so used to it it doesn’t hurt anymore, and you can swallow the smoke without feeling anything. So maybe heartbreak works just the same. Maybe you get used to it, maybe it hurts less and less as the days go by, maybe you end up feeling nothing at all.
—  But right now, it feels like my first cigarette

Sometimes I think back to like, high school and when I would be home from college. I’d sit with my mom and watch TV and she would always, always see something with two guys in it and continuously ask me which I thought was better looking, and I would always freeze up and try to change the subject and and it made me so, so uncomfortable for reasons I couldn’t really explain at the time. It wasn’t that I couldn’t objectively look at two guys and have an opinion on who was more good looking. It was more that I wasn’t paying attention at all. They didn’t interest me. Mom would go farther and ask me who my celebrity crush was and I honestly couldn’t answer. I’d end up listing actors I liked or ones I knew were pretty objectively good looking, like Chris Evans, and I’d feel relieved when she accepted that answer and left me alone for a bit. But it would always come up again, even after I told her I hated when she asked me that (for a while at least) and it was something I absolutely dreaded. 

I got asked about crushes a lot too. I went through probably all of high school without having something I recognized as a “crush” besides the “crush” I had on one of my good male friends because I had it ingrained in my head that you were supposed to have a crush on your male friends (because men and women being friends??? what??). Needless to say it wasn’t very long lived at all and I forgot about it very quickly, only to start questioning why I had a “crush” on him in the first place later on. Thinking back to college I had none, besides the brief flitting excitement of “someone’s paying attention to me” when one of the instructors (college aged) danced with me in my swing dance class that passed almost as soon as it came. Any time I thought “oh maybe this one” I’d almost immediately lose interest after talking to or observing them. My excuse was always that I didn’t want to deal with drama, that I was focused on school, that I just wasn’t interested and that once I graduated, of course I’d be more interesting in dating a guy. Of course.

Yet sitting here now, years later, I can look back at all the big and little crushes I had on girls over my entire life that I didn’t start to recognize until maybe my junior or senior year of high school and then pushed to the back of my head when I wandered back into the closet at the end of my freshman year of college. 

I mean, I’ll probably ramble more about this later. It’s one of the things in my life I feel really strongly about and something I wanna prevent other girls from dealing with if I can. But what all these words basically come down to is, it can be so, so hard for lesbians and other wlw to even figure out that they aren’t interested in guys and to figure out what being attracted to women even feels like. And that even after figuring all that out there are the intrusive thoughts and doubts that can take so long to push away and come to terms with. With outside pressure from the media and the world and families and that nasty little thing called compulsory heterosexuality it can be a long, draining roller coaster ride and there might always be moments where you doubt yourself and your feelings but I can promise you that at the end no matter what you figure out about yourself, it’s worth it and it does get better over time. So hang in there, because you’re all wonderful and beautiful and great and it’ll be okay. 

Just a note if you are here looking for wax/wane: updates are most likely going to be biweekly from now on. In the meantime, here’s some fan art…Myka’s season 4 hair is surely a creature all on it’s own, no? (That stylist really didn’t get her hair at all…)

This drabble didn’t fit the prompt I was trying to fill but I thought it was kind of cute so I’ll post it anyway. Also, I’m in a really wintery mood. In which Will is not a winter person.  (Poor Will is in for a rough winter, if things continue as they are.)

Nico stared warily down at his boyfriend, exasperated.  He’d found Will laid out spread eagle in the snow wearing only jeans and a light jacket, a tranquil smile on his face.  According to the kids from the Demeter cabin, he’d been there a while.

“What are you doing?”

Will’s eyes lazily blinked open.  “Soaking up the sunshine.  Only so much of it this time of year,” he grumbled, flopping his head back against the snow.

“I know you’re a son of Apollo, but I don’t think that makes you solar powered,” Nico deadpanned.

Will hummed.  “All humans need their vitamin D.  Why do you think I worry about you spending weeks on end in the Underworld?”

Nico rolled his eyes.  They were not having this argument now.  “They put Vitamin D in milk these days, you know?  And it’s probably a hell of a lot healthier to drink milk then risking hypothermia by lying for hours outside in freezing temperatures for no reason whatsoever.“

Will made a face.  “Don’t lecture a doctor about health.  I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re going to get sick.”

Will held up a finger.  “On the contrary, being cold doesn’t make you any more likely to get sick.  That’s just an old wife’s tale.”

“You’re really an idiot.”

“Hmm…. love you too.”  Normally, this would have caused Nico to grow adorably flustered and lose his train of thought, but today the son of Hades hardly so much as flinched, his eyes narrowed in annoyance.  

“Just get up.”

“But-”

“You’ve been out here for over an hour.  I’m sure you’ve gotten enough vitamin D.  So get up.  Now.”  

Will moaned softly.  Honestly, he’d stopped feeling cold a half hour ago. Now, his body just felt blissfully numb.  If he closed his eyes and focused on the sun, he could almost imagine he was sleeping in a soft bed of grass on a warm summer day.

“Pretending that it’s summer is not going to make the winter go away.”

Will emitted a pitiful sound at the fact that Nico had somehow read his mind. He hadn’t realized they were that close yet and it was actually kind of cute, if not a little annoying.  

Nico chose that moment to decide he was done being patient, and grabbed Will by the jacket, tugging him roughly to his feet.  The son of Apollo put up little resistance, slumping against him.

“You’re a toddler,” Nico hissed, dragging the other toward the Hades cabin.  Will had little choice but to follow him, defeated.

When they got inside the warm cabin, Nico immediately grabbed a blanket and wrapped it snugly around Will’s shoulders before the other could protest.  They sat side-by-side on Nico’s bed while Will shivered miserably.

“I hate winter.”

“You don’t say,” Nico replied, an amused lilt to his voice.

Will groaned and dropped his head onto Nico’s shoulder, attempting to bury his face in the crook of the other boy’s neck.

The son of Hades patted him on the back.  “Hey, only four more months.”

Will whimpered in despair.

Jonathan Strange and mr. Norrell, episode four: All the mirrors of the world

So. I haven’t written a review of this episode yet, mostly because I needed to take a step back after watching this to think - why do I write these? What do I want to say? I knew that I was going to say so much of the same things in this review that I also did in my others. So I’ve been thinking a little about what it is I really want to say, what is it that I talk about again and again in these reviews, and can I just… get it out of my system?

So here you go. I’m getting stuff out of my system. Mostly about Stephen Black. Not much about the episode at all, really. Beware of book and show spoilers below the cut. Like, hella spoilers. We’re talking the ending here.

Keep reading

When I first met you, you were nothing more than another random guy. Now, almost a year later my days begin and end with thoughts of you. Now, almost a year later, I’m so much in love with you that it breaks my heart to think of a day when you’re not in my life.
— 



~Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #158

02/21/2015

12:37 am

She was sobbing. The tears spilling down her cheeks and soaking into her scarf as they found their home there.
“I thought we would have longer. I just wanted a little more time. Time to memorise everything, so I could recall the little things later” she thought to herself.
But he had already gone. She was left with nothing but a tear soaked pillow and a broken heart. No memories to unfold and keep her company at night.
—  M.C.E No recollection. Just the broken pieces of my once intact heart to prove you ever were here at all.

I lay awake on my back, staring at cracks in the ceiling. It’s 2:17am, and I’m still waiting for sleep to take over me. And it’s usually these times that you pop into my head, your beautiful hazel eyes and shiny black hair, the thought of you still makes me smile. More than a year later, I admit I still wonder about you, try to answer my own questions- what could have been, what might have been, where did we go wrong, why did you give up. I never come to a conclusion.

I go through all my happy memories of you, of us, in my mind. It’s like a movie, a beautiful fairytale just like our love was, and only this time, I’m a spectator instead of the lead. It’s like a tribute, I’d like to believe. Maybe a memoir. And it always ends with a hope that you’re doing okay.

I shuffle, turn to my left where my phone brightly reflects today’s date. 15th April. I sigh, and close my eyes and answer my own question again. It would have been 5 years today.

—  15.04 // a date I’ll never forget
I love everything about him, his warm lips, his loving eyes, but I know that he is blinded by some other girl more beautiful than I’ll ever be. I should forget about him, I want to forget about him, but how could you forget someone you love?

It was a Saturday night, the one where I should’ve told you I loved you, but I found it easier to sit in fear than to let those words slip off my tongue. It’s much more difficult to be brave than it is to be scared.

It was a Sunday night, about a year later and we were both sitting on the front steps. I asked if you remembered that Saturday night. You nodded your head and I told you that I wish I had said I loved you. You sat there for a moment, looking back into the past, and told me that you would’ve said the same.  

It was Friday afternoon a few months later and we’re sitting on the kitchen floor. We were laughing over something stupid and we both had smiles on our faces. We loved each other again you could see it our eyes, but we are both too damn scared to say those words to each other.

It’s a Monday morning about nine months later and you’re walking out the door. You said you’ll see me in a year and you give me a hug. I look up at you and gather all the courage I have and tell you I love you, that I always loved you, that I never stopped. You tell me you know, and that you love me too. 

You walk out the door because regardless of the fact that we love each other you still have to go. You’ll be back in a year and you say you’ll write me, and that when you come back if we still love each other we can give it a shot. I know that I will still love him, but I can’t help but think that I should’ve told him on that Saturday night.

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #107
It’s going to hurt. You’ll be okay. You’re going to loose people you never thought you would. And that blonde boy, whose 17? Yeah pay attention he’s gonna be important later on.
But more importantly baby girl, don’t pick up that blade come December. Take it from someone whose been there, literally. But after four years it’s not worth it. Love yourself. More then anything. Love yourself.
—  A letter to my 13 year old self

This is Haziqa! My SharrYamu child! (wow it’s been 84 years since I’ve drawn an oc!). Her name means brilliant,skillful or exclent,so I thought it fits perfect to the daughter of two amazing warriors.

Haziqa is a magician just like her mom. She greatly enjoys learning about magic, but what she truly likes the most is to fight with it. She never admits it, but she actually loves showing of her abilities,and would absolutely deny that if someone brought up the subject. Aside of that,Haziqa really admires her parents,even though they’re a nuisance with their constant quarrels or their overprotective attitude towards her (mostly sharrkan)  and wants to surpass them sooner or later. Because of that, she’s working really hard on her abilites. Despite that she excels as a magician, she’s pretty good with the sword thanks to Sharrkan, who passionately wanted to teach her how to use a sword, at least to defend herself and make her body stronger. It’s not like he understimates her magic abilities or the strength of her borg, but you know.

Anyway,Hazi is a very calm and sweet girl with lots of patience, and It takes some time to annoy her. If you’re starting to bother her, she’ll kindly tell you to stop with a serious but soft tone of voice while smiling at you. But if she gets angry, she truly gets angry. Hazi’s also perfeccionst, stubborn and a very down to earth person. 

It’s a month later and you still fill my thoughts, your laugh, your smile, your voice, everything.

It’s a month later and I still get sad when I see a picture of us, of how we used to be, of how I wish we were.

It’s a month later and although we still talk everyday I miss you so much, I miss you more than I realise half the time.

It’s a month later and I still read our old conversations, I know I should delete them but I can’t bring myself to do it.

It’s a month later and I still cry at the fact that I can no longer call you mine.

It’s a month later and I still love you…

—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #1

Sorry I don’t compliment problematic people.

But seriously Swan you are just such an incredibly creative person. It’s so great talking AUs with you because I’ll just come in with something and you will have already thought out all the repercussions of that scenario and it will always be 1000x better than whatever I had in mind. You are just such a quick and original thinker, and I love how your writing shows all these different facets of the characters through these fantastic and engrossing worlds and fantasy concepts. Not to mention the fact that you are such a funny person! Your description of the Gods AU Laurens is still so horribly beautiful to me and all the ficlets you’ve written for the various AUs always leave me wanting more (and most likely a little teary). I am a proud employee of Monsters AU Inc and I hope I’m doing your company proud.