With all the drama with cassandra clare yesterday I’ve seen some people claiming that malec wasn’t underrepresented or neglected and I’m sorry but that’s not true. Here I’m going to try and explain why I think clare didn’t do a good job with represenation in her books. Warning for spoilers for all the books. I’m putting this under a read more because this got incredibly long.
I’ll tell you what I remember, seeing as you asked. That after we made love that night in my parents’ house, you asked me to get out of bed, naked. Remember how I felt? I mean we had just had sex, so that’s as intimate as I thought it got, but it’s funny that I don’t remember that part as much as you making me stand in front of you with nothing on and we were freezing cold and I felt so exposed, like I felt you could see inside the guts of me. And remember, I cried? And you were like, Shh, shh, don’t. You’re beautiful, and I can’t believe I’m writing this now, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget your voice when you said that. I think I loved you at that moment.
But then Joe happened, and you didn’t ring or anything. You didn’t let me see you exposed from all your pain. You hid and you left me there, starkers, and for so long, for so, so long, I felt raw. Don’t ever ask anyone to do that again, Tom. Don’t ever ask them to bare their soul and then leave it. It’s fucking cruel and no matter how much pain you were in, you had no right. Because sometimes it makes me want to shudder, because sometimes I still think I’m there in my bedroom standing naked, except it’s like the whole world can see me, and they’re laughing like sometimes I remember people laughing at me behind my back in high school. And it makes me just want to cry with shame.
If you think I’ve forgotten anything about that night, you, most gorgeous girl, are laboring under great misapprehension. I remember everything. I remember your petticoat.. slip… whatever the hell it’s called, and how you let me take it off. You made me close my eyes and that was even more of a turn on.
You’ve always seen through me and that’s freaked me out. You saw the stuff I didn’t show other people. The part of me that sometimes can be a bully, because I come from a family of it. Learned behavior because I think my dad was taught by Bill and Bill was taught by his father and sometimes I feel it inside me as well, except we’re not actually comfortable with it, but it’s there and it frightens all of us. And that night you saw the fear. You made it go away for just one minute and then Joe happened and I couldn’t speak anymore and the numbness-please, God don’t ever let me feel that numbness again. I think I was scared that you wouldn’t be able to make the numbness go away and if my mum and dad and Anabel couldn’t, and then you couldn’t, I didn’t know whether I could handle that.
I know I stuffed up and I know your peacekeeper probably treated you like gold and I’ve treated you like crap but I want you to know that I remember the conversations we had in Year Twelve, when you told me you wanted to do a cultural studies degree because you believed in trade, not aid, and you believe that the only way was to ask the questions and listen to the needs of the people and I remember thinking that exact moment, I want to change the world with her. And I remember feeling that again in Georgie’s attic. That’s a powerful gift you have there Ms. Finke. To make the laziest guy around want to change the world with you. So next time you remember standing in your bedroom naked, know that it is the most amazing view from any angle, especially the one where we get to see inside.
I know this sounds incredibly cheesy by now, but I think some people forget this, and I want to remind you of them. Because it is important.
You’re only human.
You know what I mean by that?
It means there’s so many things you alone can accomplish. Look at the list of things we humans have done so far. We’ve created electricity. We’ve traveled to the moon and down in to the depths of the sea. We found new creatures - we’ve destroyed creatures.
You’re a walking potential.
What I also mean is that you’re not perfect. And that’s fine. It’s okay. Your imperfection is what people love about you; what I love about you.
What does it also mean to be human?
Well, zillion years ago, there was a collision, creating an expansion of universe of time and space. There were millions and billions of stars, and in the creation of us, our parts had to come from somewhere. And where did that all come from? From the beginning of time. Stars.
Therefore you’re made out of stars. Your body contains star dust. YOU are one with the cosmos.
You’re greater than you see yourself to be. Don’t forget that. No matter how insignificant you feel, how disgusting and atrocious you feel your existence to be, remember this; Everything that made you to be who you are is not the physical act of a man and a woman to have sex. You are the product of the infinite galaxy, another star waiting to be light up.
HI THIS FIC IS REALLY REALLY LONG I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO END UP REALLY LONG. this is for you, dwightdangershrute , you told me to write whatever for your christmas present so I went with long-distance Kawoshins. MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLING!!!!
When Shinji first posted a question on his math homework on the college forums, he didn’t expect an answer within a half hour, and certainly not an incredibly detailed one.