I was feeling awful

No reblogs

I remember when I was in the hospital a social worker came into my room to talk to me. She asked me where I worked and I said Walgreens and started bawling. 

And it’s pretty embarrassing in hindsight. Because like, it seems like a silly thing to cry about. And she basically said as much when she responded “at least you have a job, a lot of people don’t”. 

But it still feels wrong because like, it’s totally acceptable to hate where you work. And I mostly hate that I’m forced to work retail to survive. It’s more that than anything. But it’s also really sad because I went to college and am in so much debt and I’m still stuck at the job I had before I got my bachelors.

It’s like… people always say it’s sad that people who went to college end up with the same jobs as everyone else…. but then it’s not ok to be sad about your own situation? You’re not allowed to cry about it you’re told you have to be happy anyways. It’s so fucked up.

IDK I can’t get that interaction out of my head.

i love my sister to death but she always have to make me feel stupid. I cried in front of my dad earlier because of this… and my dad is the way that he is. he wants me to tell him things.. but he can’t do anything.. he gave me a hug and a beer and cheered me up a little. and I appreciate it. my dad is s lot like me. we don’t talk that much. so I know, that he did all he could.

but it truly pains me, that my sister addresses that I’m not in the living room, when her and her boyfriend comes over; and then when I am, me and my opinions are belittled and i feel so useless and stupid.. Anything I say, isn’t good enough for her. Her opinion fucking stands. And it outranks mine. and it’s really unfair… I’m an adult. We’re both adults. she’s one of my best friends and I TRUST HER. so, why does she do that…? i love her.. but my opinions, thoughts and interests, aren’t important enough, to be taken seriously… i’m shot down at the dinner table. and i just have to embrace the pathetic glances my dad sends me, as i power through the rest of the evening… he knows.. but there’s not much i can do, unless i say something. but what am I supposed to say…?

semi hiatus...

so if it by any chance tells you how low my mental state, energy, and motivation are i wasn’t even able to pull myself together enough to make this post until now.

i’m putting all three blogs on semi-hiatus because of some ooc personal issues, and i can’t seem to get anything out. however, you will find me on silvermirdan more than any other blog, because surprisingly, through all this, my muse for him is still strong.

i apologize for everyone i owe stuff to, but…i’ll be back, most likely in a few days. i’ll be up and running and feeling better, i hope.

sorry again.

anonymous asked:

Gonna sound horrible..but I'm scared my baby will be ugly...I know it's vile for me to think that but I can't help it! I feel awful but I can't help thinking if it's ugly when it's old enough to go to school it will get bullied. I'm an awful person.

Funny story when I was pregnant with Chloe my cousin told me “If she’s ugly I will tell you” and when she was born, my cousin was in the room and started crying “she isn’t ugly she’s so beautiful”.  It is our running joke, my cousin just had her baby and I made sure while she was pregnant I would tell her that if her baby was ugly I would tell her.

Anyway, that was just a story.  I know that is a legitimate fear but I am sure that your baby is going to be so beautiful.  There is no way to comfort you right now, you will worry about every single thing until they day your baby is born and then you will find new things to worry about!

raisingahandful

anonymous asked:

I see all these girls on Instagram if die to be friends with and I try to be friendly and talk to them etc but I feel like l never be friends with them 😔 I honestly just wish I could have internet friends that get me and that I can visit some day to meet and laugh with and have experiences with Ugh I honestly feel trapped where I live and wish I could just move away Not in the sense of running away from something but I genuinely feel I don't belong here and need to get away

Aw baby I’m sorry, I definitely understand this. I think we ALL see these other people on Instagram, Tumblr, Youtube who seem to have it all, sometimes I’m thinking “All these people are having so much fun in Thailand and I’m stuck in Indiana, most of my friends are out of the state, I don’t get to wake up and spend my mornings surfing/laying on the beach, why does everyone else seem to have vegan friends but me” but then I stop and think. Do I know everything about the people on the internet? Lol no. There are so many things about people that we don’t see, and a lot of times those are the negative things. So it’s easy to get sad and upset when we see the highlight reel of other people’s lives and think That’s what I want, when in reality it isn’t the COMPLETE vision of the person’s life.

And on the subject of making internet friends - it can take time, and will usually happen when you least expect it. The friends I’ve made online have always come from random things when I was just commenting my thoughts or trying to send something positive to someone. I personally think it would be very difficult to make a friend solely through Instagram. I think Tumblr is the best platform as you can message each other and reblog things from each other. Keep at it on social media, though. I made my tumblr over four years ago (wow) and it’s just recently been getting more followers, I’ve just recently been connecting with people more! So don’t give up, ok??

As for feeling trapped where you live - SAME. I don’t like Indiana and I want to be somewhere warm, tropical, more exciting. I decided a long time ago that I don’t HAVE to stay here for the rest of my life. And I’m not going to - my goal is to move to California after undergrad and/or possibly Hawaii! I’ve decided those goals are GOING to happen eventually no matter what. I will be living in California or Hawaii. Saying it like that makes it a lot easier to handle being in Indiana for the last few years, and the next few years. Knowing that it is temporary, knowing that this is the time I will use to be with my family and grow as an individual and get an education. Then, I will be FREE to explore the world and hopefully meet even more like-minded people as there will be more vegans in California and Hawaii than there are where I live now. Set a goal for somewhere you’d like to travel/live, and make it not just a dream but a DECISION. Therefore, you will be serious about making it a reality and will be able to live your life knowing that soon, you will be in an environment more suited to your needs and passions

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i went back to the neighbourhood where i grew up (mostly, i’m still growing) and it was fun but i miss it so so much

~Stitched Together Outtake~

author’s note: I’ve been missing this story like crazy, so I only saw it fitting to write a little outtake from it. This little segment takes place after the last chapter, but 3 years before the epilogue. If you missed reading Stitched Together as much as I missed writing it, then I know you’ll enjoy this little snippet. Have fun, and read away :)

Listen to Rescue Me while reading. 

Keep reading

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Pardon the poor examples, but I am currently looking to do commissions.
I’m veronica, I’m mentally ill / developmentally disabled which makes it difficult for me to get a job.
I am looking to save up money to afford a therapy pet, which includes vet expenses and supplies, and a trip to visit my girlfriend who lives a full 24 hour drive away. 

reference sheets for characters / ocs $10
simple background + $1
detailed background + $5
coloured image + $2
extra character  + $1
if there’s something you might want that there isn’t an example of here, feel free to message me and we can work something out!!

If you’re interested, you can contact me via my ask box and my email  veronicaktchng@gmail.com

Even if you don’t intend on commissioning me, any reblogs are appreciated!! Thank you for your time!!<3