I try to remember that every day

one of these days i gotta fully express why riteru is my favorite ship but it’s hard because in order to do that i have to try and remember every little thing but the BASIC point is that ritsu and teru are in a sense, inversions of each other. which is why they have a lot in common, and why they would absolutely be good influences on one another once they actually decide to open up

5

Learning to love myself everyday. I’m trying to see myself the way others say I look. I don’t remember the exact moment I decided a wasn’t good enough but it was long ago. I’m trying to except years of negative thoughts that distorted the way I look at the world. I see so much beauty in everyone else but can’t pick out one thing about me. When I see a picture of me or my reflection I pick it apart and over-analyze it. Finding every flaw and then decided if it’s good enough to keep. I used to hate being in my skin everyday. I still have my days that’s for sure but I’m starting to see some good. I’m starting to get better. I’m starting to love being alive again. I’m on my journey to get better and although there will be ups and downs I’m determined not to give up.

Today’s sketch turned into a tiny comic about crows. I think I’m going to try making small comics every day just to get accustomed to the process of making them. I really enjoyed this entire drawing, and I want to do more comics ANYWAY, so it seems like the logical thing to do. Crows do exhibit this sort of behavior. They will remember people’s faces or traits about them, and will tell other crows if that person treats them poorly.

1. you have made it to 20! what a whirlwind year it has been but if you can survive 2016 you can survive anything.


2. remember that love trumps hate any day, everyday. just keep spreading love and being the best person you can be.


3. last year was definitely not your year for romance, try it this year though. I have a feeling a lot of love is coming your way.


4. school is a priority, do not ever forget that. you are so fortunate to be able to even attend college so just try your hardest in each and every class.


5. DO NOT SKIP YOUR 8AM! you signed up for it, you now have your afternoons free to study as you please. it’s an important class and really an hour difference of sleep is not going to kill you.


6. go to bed early, you’ll thank yourself when that 8am roles around.


7. take care of your body. eat healthy but eat good. make sure you are hydrated and exercise on the days that you can. you know that you always feel so good after you exercise.


8. keep meeting new people and keep making friends. talk to people in your classes, make new friends and study buddies.


9. when you are not feeling good on the inside remember to just take time to unplug and go outside.


10. remember your worth. this can be applied to friendships, to relationships and even when you are with just with yourself. you are worth so much and you have purpose, you are just starting to figure out new parts of your journey, don’t be so hard on yourself.


11. you can change your mind.


12. don’t let people make you feel bad for not wanting to do what you used to do, for changing and growing.


13. do not be afraid to let this love inside. when people give it to you sometimes you make up excuses to not take it. don’t do this, embrace the love and keep giving yours as well.


14. last year was so hard there is no doubt. but baby he doesn’t think about you anymore and you were not worth anything to him. that was not love and there is no love there. he is in the past, he is not your future. just let it go. let him go. no more.


15. you make each day what you will. it’s up to you and you are writing your story, you get to decided the paths that you take and the people you get to take it with. mistakes happen along the way and you can recover. you are in charge.


16. just spread love. give it to yourself in abundance and give it to the people you meet and want to keep getting to know. 


17. be who you want to be in 2017. there are so many possibilities and so many different outcomes and lots of things that we do and do not have control over. make sure that the things you can control that you do. make sure that you spread love and light. we all are going to need it.

—  17 things I want to remember in 2017

Fun things about mental illness: Having been ill for most of your life, so that you don’t even know what being healthy is actually like and always being completeley suprised when you realize that some things aren’t “normal”.

It isn’t normal to hate yourself so much - Okay.
It isn’t normal to hurt yourself to feel okay - Seems understandable.
It isn’t normal to try to kill yourself every now and then - I get that.

But:

It isn’t normal to want to lie in bed and not do anything all day? This seems strange.
It isn’t normal to rely completely on others for happiness? Good to know.
It isn’t normal to react extremely intensively and impulsively to any minor thing? Can’t imagine…

And so on.

I don’t even remember a life without mental illness and every time I really realize that, it makes me feel worse.
But I know there is no way that this will ever change.

Okay it’s 2 in the morning and I’m watching Miraculous Ladybug for some reason and for ages I’ve been trying to remember why Alix’s shoes look familiar to me, and it’s just hit me

When I was 9 years old I had a pair of Heelys that looked EXACTLY like this, right down to the green squares and the pink laces

So what I’m saying is ALIX’S SHOES ARE ACTUALLY HEELYS, THAT’S HOW SHE’S SO GOOD AT SKATING

youtube

during these trying times, i’d like you all to remember this iconic video

I found a gif with this on it and I almost started crying. Countdown to the Comet was when Nicktoons ran every episode for three days. I remember watching this. I remember being eight years old and waiting for this. I remember the countdown ticking down to five minutes. I remember seeing Zuko and Iroh’s reunion for the first time and my mom trying to hide the fact that she was crying. This brought up so many emotions because it put me back at an almost exact time. I can’t tell you how much I want to watch this like this again. Not knowing how Aang will master the elements, learning along with Zuko about the White Lotus, being flabbergasted at who Bumi really was, hanging off the edge of my seat when you hear Jet’s voice on the ferry, not knowing that Pakku and Kanna were in love, wondering how Zuko got his scar, watching Katara take down Hama, realizing who Suki was at the same time as Sokka on the docks, watching Zuko’s redemption arc, meeting Toph, watching Katara’s power grow, learning about Kya and Lu Ten, not knowing what black snow means, hating book one Zuko. Rewatching this reminds me how many great moments and plot twists and cliff hangers I’ll never get to experience again. I want to fall in love with it again.

I’m not sure if you still remember me, but let me introduce myself again to you. We used to love each other before. You used to trace my spine and lighten up my world with your smile. We were perfect back then, but everything was ruined. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to win you back. I just want to exhaust the remaining things about you, inside.
You know what, I still hate you after all those years. It’s been six years, to be exact. And every single day, I hate your existence. When there’s a time that I reminisce our past, it makes me feel sick. I don’t know what made me fell in love with you in the first place and how everything went from good to worse. You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.
I hate you for being so selfish and never tried to shut your mouth and let me win an argument. You didn’t hold my hand and stop me from leaving for that night. You just let me walk away and made me feel that you never loved me. You think only about your happiness, you never paid attention to my details. You never asked if I’m still happy, you think only about yourself.
I hate you for painting my world with your colors and made me used to love them. And now you were gone, it makes me insane because I see them every day. I tried to hide everything through smiles, but my eyes never stopped bleeding them. There’s no way I could escape because you planted flowers inside my chest and it continues to breathe your stupid name. I couldn’t breathe on my own.
I hate you for making me believe in your promises that you will stay, no matter what happens.
I hate you for being a part of my life, for scarring my heart with your love. You build walls around me with your kindest words and now that you were in love with someone else, I don’t know how to climb up, explore the world and start all over again. I’m afraid to jump on my own because you made me believe that fear won’t exist if you were here. I’m still afraid.
I hate you for making me in love with your favorite song. After six years, it’s still playing in my head.
I hate you, let me move on.
—  E.J. Cenita, A Letter For Someone I Hate The Most
No Entry, or Perception

JD-

A bit of context on my life over here, I’m usually told that I’m given the “muggle spouse” treatment- ie most muggle repellent charms are built with caveats that allow for rare exceptions.

Note that I said ‘most’. Places of high importance like Hogwarts and Diagon Alley were charmed with enough expertise to foresee such events, but lesser known attractions don’t always put in the legwork…

Long story short, Jessica went to show me her favorite bar… And as much as it pains me to say it… I don’t see it, at all. It’s just an empty alleyway, and every time I try to walk into it I suddenly remember that I’m late for some nonexistent appointment and start walking away.


There goes my sense of free will for the day.

My skills are
1: getting obsessed with a blog/person over night and devoting my life to them.
2: Trying to write stories about said person and failing.
3: Wanting to be friends with person who runs the blog but is sure they will not like me.
4: letting my anxiety fuck with me even though I’m on the internet.

And it was only the beginning of his activism!

Samuel L. Jackson is one of my favorite actors. Not only because of his lines, he is woke af! And he is one of the few black actors who achieved mainstream success and never let that change him or forgot where he came from! I guess it is very hard thing to do because money and fame could spoil any person.

I’m sure white people try to kiss his ass every day, but he remains true to his convictions and remembers his and our past.

everyday i wake up and sit in my bed for many hours trying to tell myself: get up there is a brand new day waiting for you, just go and embrace every second of it, but then i remember how my heart is heavy and cant get over what happened. i miss how i used to be “pain free”, but now look at me, “can you recognize me?”… because i cant.
—  fairy1192
Imagine: Being the Jokers Daughter and going with him to buy the Purple Lamborghini

You and your father sat in the back of the SUV, when you saw the peer you knew you it was almost time. You couldn’t wait to see the new car. Your father told you every inch was custom made for him. You pictured joy rides and heists and batman chasing it, you were practically bouncing up and down in your seat. After days of trying to convinced your father to let you come with him he finally gave in. He put his hand on your shoulder and turned you away from the window to face him.

“Sweetheart remember what I told you. These deals are filled with nasty guys. Stay close to Frost and I…. but especially me.”

You rolled your eyes at your father, being over protective as usual and smirked at him “but you’re in this deal, are you saying you’re a nasty guy?”

“Besides me always besides me. And wipe that smirk off your pretty little face.” He pinched your cheek before leaning forward and whispering something to Frost.

You saw two men standing by your fathers boat waiting for his arrival. The men were menacing looking and their stares made you uncomfortable at first. They quickly turned their gazes away from you when your father put his arm around you. Being the jokers daughter had its perks and down sides, the immediate respect you got was a perk.

Your father and you boarded the boat with the men as Frost took the steering wheel and headed towards the other side of Gotham. You watched as the three men stood on the front of the boat discussing business you didn’t care about. You just wanted to experience the actual deal go down and get the cool car.

When the boat docked and everyone stepped out, you were led behind what looked like an abandon club. You tugged on your fathers jacket.

“The cars behind this thing?” you asked suspiciously. Your father chuckled at you inquiring.

“Yes sweetheart it’s all apart of the cover, ya see?” He pointed to the shiny vehicle as you turned the corner.

There it was. The purple lamborghini. It was decked out in pink lights for the trim, gold jesters on the wheels, white interior. You pictured your parents laughing away in it. You pictured you sneaking it out for a night on your own. Your eyes glistened when you looked at its perfection.

“Don’t get any smart ideas kid.” Frost nudged your shoulder and the two of you smirked at each other.

“I’ll just blame it all on you Uncle Johnny.” You nudged him back and he laughed a bit of a nervous laughter knowing you actually would and even if you didn’t the Joker would never blame his daughter.

“Well Mr. J? Is it everything checking out?” One of the men asked.

Your father waltzed around the car tapping the top of his cane with his finger. The men looked nervous not knowing if they were about to die or be thanked.

“Well well well, it’s purple and has four wheels….. but why oh why is the interior white?” He tapped his cane on the ground and stepped towards the men who were now shaking at the knees. “Ya know I prefer black interior” The Joker stepped closer to the men with that certain look in his eye you knew all too well. You tried to play it cool but you couldn’t contain your excitement. 

“Oh daddy it’s perfect! Just thank the guys so you can take me for a ride! I prefer the white and so will mommy!” You wrapped your hands around your fathers waist and hugged him.

“Ya hear that fella’s?” He returned the favor and hugged you, sliding his glove along your hair. “My princess just saved your main artery… why don’t you thank her huh?”

The men looked at each other and took deep breaths. “Thank you Miss” they said at the same time. “If you would like Mr. J, we have a party planned inside. A thank you for doing business with us. If you and your daughter are interested?”

The clown prince snarled in their direction. “Oh that won’t be necessar-”

“Lets go!” You interrupted your father and grabbed his wrist leading him inside. The men stood speechless for a moment at the way you were able to control him.

Inside the club was decorated in a rundown aesthetic. With caution tape and broken windows. But people were dressed up, all over the place, drinking, and dancing. You couldn’t believe it. Not only did you get to go see a deal with your father but to an after party. He pulled you right into his hip and whispered in your ear.

“Especially stay close to me in here.” You pushed him away slightly wanting to enjoy yourself. Your father walked up to random people he seemed to know and mingled… as the joker did.

You followed behind him browsing the sights. He sat down in a booth with another man and started talking more business. He kept his eye on you out of the corner of his eye. Eventually the man pulled out a suitcase exposing gold bars and cash, he took his attention off of you and called Frost over to him. Now was your chance to slip away.

You snuck through the dance crowd grabbed champagne off of the waitresses tray. You wondered through the club sipping the drink until you reached the door you came in. Another lil peak wont hurt you thought. You slipped out the door and saw the lambo. You couldn’t get over how perfect it was for your clown family. You walked over and ran your fingertips along the paint finish.

“Don’t touch what you can’t afford!” A voice called out to you. It was the man from the boat who invited you and your father to the party. He dangled the keys in his hand. “I was waiting for a moment you weren’t with the clown.”

“A moment?” You took your hand off the car and placed both around the handle of the glass.

“I saw the way you were looking at the car” he stepped closer to you “the way your eyes lit up when you went inside the club. Mr. J don’t let you out very much does he? How about that ride you wanted?”

You were embarrassed at your obvious lack of experience when it came to these things. Your parents kept you under their thumb. Not letting you indulge in the same pleasures they did. “Well it is exciting to get out ya know, but the Joker would kill ya if you drove his car before him.”

“Oh I know.” The man stepped even closer until your bodies were almost touching. “But a pretty thing like you shouldn’t be locked up. You’re like a flower that needs to boom.” He reached his hand up to your chin and lifted your head. You smacked it away and took a step back.

“I’ll bloom on my own time.” You started to walk away from him. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back suddenly making you drop your glass.

“Oh I don’t think so.” He put his fingers to your lips and you froze in fear “Getting the Jokers daughter? The ultimate forbidden fruit is too much to pass up.” You tried to push him off and gave him the right hook. He stumbled back for a moment before grabbing you with both hands. “Oh an such hard candy too” he leaned in for a kiss.

Gun shots rang through the air one after the other like rapid fire. You heard the bullets hit the new car and saw the man drop to the ground. You were finally free of his grasp and put your hand on your chest to steady your breathing.

Your father kept shooting as he walked over to the man who had taken hits to to the knees but was still trying to crawl away. Your father shot his feet several times stopping him before turning to you. He opened up his arms and you leaped into them.

“Princess this isn’t what I call staying close to me.” He whispered in your ear trying to lighten the mood after seeing you so terrified.

“I’m so sorry daddy I thought I was alone out here I just wanted to-”

“Shhh shhh sweetheart” the Joker cut you off and rubbed your back to keep you calm. “The only one that needs to apologize is him. That’s no way to treat a lady.” He looked down at the man bleeding out on the ground. And certainty not!“ He kicked the man in the ribs “My!” Another kick followed my a crack. “Daughter!” He gave his rib cage a final blow before turning back to you.

“You’re not mad at me? But the car…” you pleaded with him.

“I cannot physically be mad at you.” He growled showing his metal teeth. “And the only thing I own that I care is in perfect condition is you.” He kissed your forehead.

“Did you just compare me to a car?” You scolded him.

“Now princess excuse me, daddy is working” the joker stepped over to the man barely alive and put his foot on his throat. He pulled out his razor and flipped it open. “Now… what did I say about that main artery?” He roared with laughter as the man screamed.

Once it was over your father pulled the car keys out of the blood and opened the passenger side door for you to get in. As he stepped on the gas he grabbed your hand in his.

“You know I keep you under watch to protect you? You get that now?” He looked over at you and squeezed your hand, you knew he meant what he was saying.

“Yes daddy, and all it took was just one little homicide to prove it. Aren’t ya proud of me?” The two of you laughed the laugh father had passed down to daughter.

8

I remember in middle school and high school being so concerned with what everybody else thought. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I wish I could’ve just let it slide and not cared about it. I think I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. If someone doesn’t like you, you don’t have to be mean to them. Whatever people tell you, don’t take it to heart. Just be the bigger person, let it slide, and find something every day that makes you happy.

My Backpack Essentials (College)

Aside from textbooks and class materials, here are some things that I have found to be incredibly useful for long days at school:

  • Planner: My planner is what keeps my life from spiraling into an abyss of confusion and stress. I use it to jot down and keep track of any deadlines or events that come up.
  • Small notebook: Mine doubles as a bullet journal as well as a notepad for thoughts and ideas. In addition to my planner, I like to write out a tentative, detailed schedule / plan of action for each day - Crossing out tasks is one of the most satisfying feelings ever. One of my goals for this year is to write more, so having a notebook on hand keeps me accountable. I’m less prone to forgetting or losing inspiration if I write a thought down right away rather than try to remember it later. 
  • Pencil case: I keep pencils, pens, erasers, highlighters, post-it notes, and paper clips - basically every utensil that I would need for class or a study session. I hate having to dig through my backpack for a pencil, so having it all in one place is nice.
  • Lotion & lip balm: When my lips or hands are dry, I tend to focus on the discomfort of it, which prevents me from paying attention to class or whatever I’m studying.
  • Hand sanitizer: Some people are sick. Some people are gross. Colleges have a lot of people in a small area. Sometimes bathrooms run out of soap.
  • Feminine hygiene products: Mother Nature is full of surprises. Even if you don’t think you need to have some with you at all times, a friend might and you’ll be a superhero.
  • Tissues: Sniffling like a bunny in class because your nose is runny isn’t fun.
  • Water bottle: Staying hydrated is the key to good health, good skin, and staying awake. If you’re feeling burned out and unfocused, chugging some cold water could help. I like to keep a reusable water bottle so I can refill it at water fountains. 
  • Travel mug: I love having caffeine or just some herbal tea with me for long study sessions. It’s a lot cheaper to make your own coffee/tea or to fill up your mug at the dining hall rather than go to Starbucks/your campus coffeeshop.
  • Medicine & band-aids: Vital for headaches, cramps, colds, allergy season, accidental boo boo’s, etc.
  • Floss: This sounds strange, but there have been so many times where something has stubbornly gotten stuck in my teeth at the worst possible moments (think before speeches, presentations, interviews). 
  • Headphones: Awesome for walking to class, concentrating while studying, and avoiding people you don’t want to talk to.
  • Glasses: I wear contacts, and glasses are great for when your contacts get dry and uncomfortable or you accidentally rip one.
  • Cash: I don’t recommend carrying around a lot, but there are some places that don’t accept cards. 
  • Homework/study material that don’t require extreme focus: Bring some assignments or notes to review that aren’t too labor-intensive for those chunks of time between classes or your commuting time. I find it difficult to sit down and work on something “big” if I only have a 30 minute time slot, but a lot that can be accomplished during that time! I recommend looking over notes, watching tutorial videos, or looking at flashcards. 
  • Laptop/tablet: None of my classes allow having a laptop in class, but I use it all the time for homework and studying. 
  • Snacks: Food = energy and motivation.

I hope this is helpful for some of you! Best of luck and happy studying :)

i want every creator that doesn’t have a circle of friends to help spread their work to know i’m rooting for you. 

i know you’re too shy reach out, you’re too busy to make the connections, you just want to share your hard work, you want your work to stand on its own without politics and favoritism to sway opinions. 

i also know you feel really alone most days. 

try to remember your work is valid. it is good. it is worthy. 

please don’t stop. 

they might have “popularity” but you have something far more important: talent, skill, passion, and beauty. the truly gifted creators were never recognized during their time. the popular ones are all but forgotten now. 

please don’t stop creating. you are amazing.

As I lay here in your arms, I remember the nights I endured before you. I think back to the constant trembling, how at a time like this I’d be curled up in my bed, my eyes the equivalent of bursting pipes after holding in my sadness throughout the day. If I was lucky, I’d have time to muffle the sobs. I wasn’t always lucky. I remember breaking when the ones before you left, walking out of the door with pieces of me in tow. But for the first time since then, I feel like I was never broken in the first place, just bent out of shape. Every time your arms tighten around me, I straighten out. It’s almost like you know, almost like you care enough to notice when I don’t seem whole and try to help, just like I would for you. Perhaps this is what love is supposed to be like.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Request: Someone who completely changes your view on love. Someone who wipes away all past doubts.
5

“When I make a movie I always have to have a theme, preferably in one word that I can - when I made The Conversation the theme was privacy. When I made The Godfather the theme was succession.

And I taught my children to try to know what that big theme is because…you have to answer so many questions every day, like should she have long hair or short hair? Should she wear a dress or a skirt? Should he have a car or should it be a bicycle? And you know the answer so you just fire them off. But once in a while you don’t know the answer. And that’s when you say, well, what is the theme?

I remember in The Conversation when we went picking sort of trench coats for the character that Gene Hackman - and I didn’t know which one. I didn’t want him to look too much like a detective. He wasn’t really a detective. And then I said to myself, well, what’s the theme? And I said privacy. So there was one coat that was a plastic coat that you could see through. So I chose that.”

– Francis Ford Coppola speaking with Terry Gross

Stills from The Conversation (1974, dir. Francis Ford Coppola)