Ugh. Rant. Using this blog as an emotional outlet for a second.
You ever have this problem where the state of a relationship is really not your fault, but still feel like the main person actively trying to rebuild it & make progress & show love & forgiveness & understanding & attempt & attempt to keep patience through the pain & try to talk through stuff (like you know they’re trying too but you’re both reeling in fear) & then also, at the same time, have to apologize ‘cause any expression, even the jestful expression, of your hurt feelings over how things have transpired or the rejection you’ve felt or the insecurities you’re experiencing seem to hurt/offend the other person? Like, sorry I’ve made you mad or stressed you out w/ my heartbreak, dude. I’ll try caring less next time? Idk?
Like I’m just all of the:
And they are all:
And I’m all:
And they are all:
And then I’m just:
I think I need a hug. Or just a really long, productive, understanding talk about things & stuff. Or both. Someone hug me?
It’s not a gift for most of us, it’s a fight! I remember as if it was yesterday. I was in the 7th grade when my dad looked me in the face and said: “You could probably be so pretty if you lost quite a bit of weight.” I was 13 back then, just getting into the whole difficult stuff that comes with puberty. And it hit me really hard. Like: I’m not even pretty enough for my parents how will anybody else ever find me pretty or attractive? In some way it kinda broke me. I tried to lose weight but it never really worked until a doctor told me that I have a hormonal disfunction that makes it hard for me to lose weight. I probably never will be skinny or as thin as most people find beautiful but I’m healthy, I go outside and stay active.
It took until I was almost 22 that I reached a point where I could say: You know what? I don’t care. I’m chubby, squishy, my arms are flappy, when I sit down I have several rolls and I can’t see my feet because my boobs are too big XD
Do I feel uncomfortable in just a tank-top? YES; DEFINITELY!
Do I look better when I wear layers, like shirt and jacket, than naked or in tops and skirts? YES, DEFINITELY!
But I’m sick of hiding and I’m sick of not feeling like a valid human being. So I just do what I want to do. That’s the whole secret. Just take what you have and rock it as good as possible.
And I thank you a lot for your message because messages like this help me a lot on my way and it shows me that it’s good that I’m not perfect because like this its probably way easier for me to help you guys out there to not give up. :)
Hello to all my new followers!!! Can’t wait to take you on my med school journey with me :)
Just thought I should give a small introduction. I’m about to start med school in July (woo!) at a Texas school. I went to a small liberal arts school and graduated in 2014 and I took a gap year. Most of my gap year was spent being an ED scribe but currently I’ve been subbing at a local elementary school.
I really really really love TV (current shows including The Mindy Project, OITNB, House of Cards, Fresh Off the Boat/blackish/The Middle/Modern family, Call the Midwife, Outlander, Grey’s Anatomy and old favorites including Scrubs/Parks & Rec/30 Rock/ HIMYM, etc. etc. I could go on forever). I realize I watch way too much TV and probably won’t be able to keep up as much in med school.
So sometimes I post about that and I try to use gifs from my fav shows :) I also love hiking/cooking (really mostly eating though)/traveling and now this feels like some sort of dating profile… oops. This tumblr is a mix of posts about my life, med school things, studyspo, and things I like.
I’m not going to pretend like I know a ton about med school (haven’t started) but I would love to try to answer any questions you might have, especially regarding the application process :)
Oh for fuck sake I’ve just walked all the way to tesco with £10 of my dads money and £5 of mine, I’ve gone to pay and for fuck sake it’s gone. It was on me when I went into the store so now somebody’s either took it or I’ve dropped it even thoguh I have no holes in my pockets. Been to customer service and looked, there’s nothing there. I’ve now basically just chucked £15 down the drain and now I look fucking stupid crying on thw way home. Good joe, Zoe. ermahgerdfangirl Idk if I can get you a present anymore, sorry
Say what you will about spuffy in s6, I certainly hate the way it went down. But in the beginning of the season Spike is actually genuinely concerned about her. Most of her friends are just waiting for things to go back to normal, but Spike is actually concerned about her, and attempts to get her to open up about her problems.
Does this concern get completely overshadowed by the whole mess later, yeah obviously. He´s still a soulless vampire, not exactly the great white knight. They´re still over all dysfunctional. But that doesn´t change the part that it was there in the beginning, before it all went to hell.