I think Ill delete my blog then

hey fam, ill probably delete this by the time morning rolls around, but i got some semi-serious shit to talk about. i run multiple sideblogs that are mainly for filtering purposes, but its come to the point where this blog is really my ‘personal’ blog anymore. im trying to cater to what i think my followers want in my desperate ongoing and never ending attempt(s) to try and please as many people as i can.

this leaves me in a position where i am not allowed to make Actual Personal Posts, about me, and my life, and how im doing and how i feel about things and what not. lately ive thrown three (3) more serious posts into the mix that highlight how im very glad that all of you are here and alive and existing (and how im happy all of you are just simply, With me) and how much i appreciate my friends and mutuals. however, its come to a point where im too embarrassed to literally make any post that might not be appealing or pleasing to everybody. im too shy to post what i want, im too nervous to be myself. my Actual Self.

I haven’t had a crush in so long and… idk. i feel like with my depression and everything else I’ve kind of hardened myself and i kind of find myself thinking that I’m above any kind of emotion or vulnerability… liking someone is kind of like… the first time in a long time that i’ve felt such a vulnerable emotion and actually let myself recognize it. Like it’s incredibly humbling and … humiliating? to be honest? because I have a lot of problems with pride and holding myself on a pedestal like I’m too good for certain things and if I don’t live up to that impossible image I’ve created for myself then I feel worthless…but I mostly feel happy about liking this person? so it’s kinda weird like him being so amazing and wonderful (he actually is like words can’t describe how incredibly just GOOD he is) + this being the first time in literal years I’ve liked someone + this weird affect liking him has had on my mental state is creating like… i don’t want to say obsession but like… a weird fixation… and im sure its not healthy but honestly idgaf! so im gonna probably post abt him a lot and im not sorry

okay so update on the deleting thing:

im gonna change my url/about/name/etc once my brain calls down enough to think of new ones and then try and hold off on deleting til i get the chance to talk to someone i trust about it.

thats like. 2 people one of whom i don’t really talk to any more and the other is really busy rn so that might take a while

ive already remade once on a completely new account/new email/etc, changed my text tag to a different name, softblocked anyone who followed me who wasnt a mutual, got rid of my vent and stopped really making personal posts and im still not safe. this isn’t even really a safe space anymore anyway cuz i can’t use it as one but

if i end up deleting then i won’t remake cuz theres no point since that didn’t help last time.

ill probably keep my main account whatever happens cuz there’s nothing personal on there so ill still be able to see/reply to posts and stuff i guess but yeah

.

Short Hiatus
  • Yup! A quick hiatus until the 29th of April/Friday!
  • Im going on a quick hiatus until the 29th of April. Although it seems like I've been on one for a while, due to not posting anything XD. I feel that it's important to take a hiatus sometimes, just to refresh yourself and catch up on things. Ill be catching up on schoolwork (finals will be here soon ;-;) and practicing art. I want to thank you all for sticking around with me; its amazing to think 100 people enjoy my blog >w< though that is not a lot, it still means a lot to me. I know I say thank you a lot, but I truly do mean it. So, thank you for your support! Couldn't get to where I am without yall! Love you guys! And see you soon!

ugh okay sorry about that shitstorm guys, ill be back to regular posting soon enough and ill delete all the shitty messages on my blog that i posted

if this persists i might remake my blog (even though i would really prefer not to) because people keep reblogging a post i have no control of anymore and a lot of people are saying things about me that are really upsetting, but hopefully itll just go away

sorry for all this, thanks a lot to those of you that sent me very friendly messages through this, i didnt answer them but it really means a lot, thank you guys so much

and if any of the people who are talking about me right now are reading this, im not going to interact with you anymore so please just leave me alone

blade-hurricane asked:

Why dont you just redesign the symbol instead of taking off blue? I mean he's your character

he may be my character but his outfit and design for the RWBY blog was based on Assassins Creed…im surprised no one has a problem with Maria since I even stated shes from bloodborne the old hunters and not my actual OC…

idk the more I think about it the more the blog was probably a bad idea, it sounds fine on paper but when you put it into action its not really well thought out. well see how I feel but if I cant think of a way to save it or replace characters…

ill probably just delete the blog and not bother with it and just stick to RWBY fan art and not bother with an actual comic blog. 

well i deleted almost all my extra urls (kept past ones and a couple i still really want to use, but i wasnt hoarding anything interesting) but i still have literally exactly 50 blogs that i have actually made posts on at some point in the last 3 years… i have more actually-used sideblogs on my previous account that i didnt link to this one… and yet somehow ive never hit post limit in my life… fuck i think sometime this week ill have been on tumblr for 5 years.. awful

kinda tagged by @softesthope

NICKNAME

Buka 

STAR SIGN

Gemini

HEIGHT

163cm

SEXUAL ORIENTATION

panro/aro asexual (still confused)

HOGWARTS HOUSE

idk never did any of the test

FAVOURITE COLOUR

pastels. pastel pink,green,yellow,blue…

TIME

20:48

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP

welll…. from 2 to 16

LUCKY NUMBER

16?

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED

pracownik socjalny po ang - social worker in english

FAVOURITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER

TWILIGHTTTTT

NUMBER OF BLANKETS

Two - one brown, when its colder (and also on my bed) and one red with white raindeers

FAVOURITE BAND/ARTIST

AJJ or The Front Bottoms

DREAM TRIP

I hate traveling 

DREAM JOB

Drawing things for ppl

WHEN DID YOU CREATE THIS BLOG?

july 11, 2014.dec 30, 2014 i think?

NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS

263

WHAT DO YOU POST ABOUT?

aesthetic,pets, my pets, my little pony, steven universe,beign gay and mentally ill

WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO GET A TUMBLR?

first i had blog with asian fashion, then i had a diary (for like 2 weeks lol) I deleted it and made this account, idk why

DO YOU GET ASKS ON A REGULAR BASIS?

Nah, only sometimes, but I get rely excited when I do!

WHY THE URL?

bc thats my name! and Buka was already taken,so

TAG 20 PEEPS:

@autisticdash @irl-pinkie @00dani @hamsterplush @puellus-maga and anyone who want to do it!
love u al!!

STOP SAYING SHES NICE AND SWEET STOP STOP STOP SHES GONNA BE THE REASON YOURE A FUCKING DRUG ADDICT AND YOURE SELLING YOUR FUCKING BODY I HATE HER I HATE HER SHES GOING TO FUCK YOU UP SHES NOT SWEET I WOULD NOT LIKE HER AND I DONT FUCKING CARE THAT YOU DONT LIKE MY BOYFRIEND THAT DOESN T GIVE HER THE GODDAMN RIGHT TO TALK SHIT WHILE HES SITTING RIGHT BY ME I DONT CARE IF SHE WAS JOKING ITS FUCKING SHITTY SHES FUCKING SHITTY I MIGHT BE A LITTLE TIPSY RIGHT NOW BUT SHES STILL FUCKING SHITTY BUT YOUVE ALREADY FUCKED HER AND YOURE GONNA TAKE HER TO THE DANCE I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER SHES A TERRIBLE FUCKING INFLUENCE AND I DONT FUCKING WANT YOU UP HERE IF YOURE SMOKING WEED AND HAVE A FUCKING SUGAR DADDY OR SOME SHIT

jppcouto asked:

sry i didn't know that edit of Roy was yours. I just reblogged it from some blog. Should I delete it? or... where i can find your original post instead?

Its okay dont worry about it

my actual edit was on my old blog which was archived i think?

and if you feel uncomfortable keeping it on ur blog u can delete it. its already made its way around but ill probably repost my better version of it since someone saved that as a jpg and it doesnt look as good when they posted it.

stopping

hi, im very sorry for all of you who care but i’m stopping.. i’m not deleting so my blog will keep existing and maybe ill come back one day, but for now, im changing to @aendrewminyard . if you like tfc, trc, mythology and other aesthetic stuff you should follow me on that account.
i just dont enjoy blogging about 1d as much as i used to. hope y'all are okay and happy!

anonymous asked:

Hi! You know that wizard Niall, assistant Harry and a cat named Ptolemy series. Do you know where I can find it? Has it been deleted???

i do remember that series, i loved it so so much. sadly i think the author moved blogs and ended up deleting toward the end of last year??  i still have the original posts on my blog (i found them using /search/wizard); however, i don’t think there’s any way to view them past the read more since the blog’s not there anymore.