I think I'm gonna try and do one or two of these a day 'cause they don't take long

if zootopia had a gag reel
  • Flash: ...9...
  • Judy: THD03.
  • Flash: ...T...
  • Judy: HD03.
  • Flash: ...H... *his gadget crashes* ...this...is...the...third...time...this...happened...
  • Judy: *groans* I need more coffee for this scene...
  • -----
  • Gideon: Baa, baa, whaddya gonna do, cry?
  • Judy: Hey! You heard-- *her police cap slips completely over her head and she trips and falls over*
  • Gideon: ...Y'all, we'd better help her out before she actually does cry.
  • ----
  • *shortly after Mr. Manchas started going feral*
  • Judy: ...Mr. Manchas...?
  • *they open the door, finding that his tail was caught between his floorboards and he was desperately trying to get it out*
  • Mr. Manchas: ...It happened again, I know!
  • Nick: ...I don't know what I expected.
  • ------
  • Nick: ...Carrots. You saved my life.
  • Judy: Well, that's what we do at ZPD--EEEEEYAGH--
  • *they start falling, but the vines had been long enough that they were cocooned and still hit the ground with a loud thud*
  • Bogo: *rushes towards them* That--wasn't part of your act, right?
  • Nick: *visibly dazed* I'm seeing quick brown foxes jumping over rabbits...
  • -----
  • Nick: *starts petting Bellwether's head* So fluffy-- *accidentally rips off a huge chunk of her wool*
  • Bellwether: ...Still typing here. Totally not noticing you just did that.
  • ----
  • Bogo: ...You're fired.
  • Judy: What? Why?
  • Bogo: Insubordination!
  • Judy: *holds back laughter* S-sorry--I just can't--the word "insubordination" is just too funny--
  • Bogo: *looks at the camera* This is the fifteenth take. I cannot work like this--I'll be in my trailer--
  • ------
  • Judy: No, I am a cop. And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car. So intimidate me all you want, I'm going to-- *sneezes at Mr. Big*
  • Mr. Big: ...It's all right. Many an animal gets the sniffles here.
  • -----
  • Judy: ...I don't deserve to wear this badge.
  • Bogo: Hopps.
  • Bellwether: Judy-- *forgets her lines*
  • Bogo: Bellwether.
  • Judy: Bogo.
  • Bellwether: Judy.
  • Nick: *offscreen* Nick!
  • -----
  • Nick: Look, you gave her a--a clown vest and joke mobile and two--two--two uh, what--yeah, no, sorry, I think I'm the one who needs that clown vest and joke mobile. *pokes his own nose* Honk honk.
  • ------
  • *Judy's train into Zootopia breaks down multiple times in the middle of its journey.*
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the polar region* Well, at least I can always stop by for some ice cream.
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the desert region* At least I can sunbathe here.
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the rainforest area* Wait, we're filming Mr. Manchas' part already?
  • ------
  • Clawhauser: *sipping loudly on his soda while Judy looks at the case file*
  • Judy: *is trying to hold back laughter*
  • Clawhauser: *unexpectedly burps really loudly* S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that--
  • Judy: *falls off her chair, laughing*
  • -------
  • Bucky: Hey buddy, turn down the depressing music!
  • Judy: *turns off her alarm clock*
  • Pronk: Leave the meter man alone! Didn't you hear the conversation? She feels like a failure!
  • Bucky: Oh, shut up!
  • Pronk: You shut up!
  • Bucky: You shut up!
  • Pronk: You shut up!
  • *they suddenly belt out Black Eyed Peas*
  • Bucky and Pronk: Shut up, just shut up, shut up--shut it up, just shut up, shut up--
  • Judy: *looks at the camera* Tomorrow's another day. Cut!
  • -----
  • Finnick: *from underneath the stroller* She hustled you-- *realizes his voice is actually high and pitchy* Wait--what--Nick, what did you do--
  • Nick: A little helium in your trailer, friend. Besides, you gotta be real convincing as a baby, don't you?
  • -------
  • Bogo: Two days to find the otter. Or you quit. That was the deal. Badge.
  • Judy: *is snickering*
  • Bogo: What now?
  • Judy: I-I'm sorry--I thought you said "baa". Like, baa baa Bogo, have you any wool? *falls in laughter*
  • Bogo: ...Excuse me while I actually facepalm here for a bit.
  • ------
  • Nick: All right, get in here. *steps back a bit as Judy goes in for the hug*
  • Judy: *lunges in for the hug and finds nothing, then falls on her face*
  • Nick: Sorry, just had t'get that out. *picks her up and actually hugs her* See, this is why we work so well. She knows my jokester side too well and just goes with it.
  • Judy: *muffled chuckling* ...I'm gonna fill your trailer with helium later, I swear.
  • -----
  • *while on the cable car*
  • Judy: ...Thank you.
  • Nick: *humming* What can I say, except "you're welcome?"
  • Judy: *chuckles* Should've never showed you that movie before filming. You've been humming it for days now.
  • -----
  • Judy: What are you gonna do? Kill me?
  • Bellwether: *chuckles* Of course not. He is. *pulls out a water pistol and splashes Nick's face* Wha--
  • Nick: *falls over, laughing* S-sorry, it was too easy--switching your gun to a water pistol--
  • Bellwether: *looks at the camera* Cue to Nick not being able to find where he hid the actual thing.
  • -----
  • Scientist: Mayor Lionheart, please. We're doing everything that we can.
  • Mayor Lionheart: Really? 'Cause I have a dozen and a half animals here who've gone off the rails--ails--ah, *stutters* Sorry, sorry, going too fast-- *chuckles* Wasn't quite my tempo back there...
  • ------
  • Bogo: *playing with the Gazelle app on his phone*
  • Clawhauser: *bursts into the room* Chief Bogo!
  • Bogo: *freaks out, throwing his phone out the window*
  • Clawhauser: ...You got another phone, right? And you still have my number on it?
  • -----
  • *Nick and the rest of the cast are backstage, taking a selfie with Gazelle and her tigers*
  • Nick: All right everyone, say, "sequel"!
Ed Sheeran sentence starters
  • "I saw a shooting star and thought of you."
  • "You were lying next to me, I looked across and fell in love."
  • "If you wanna put this on me, that’s fine, I never blamed you for anything at all."
  • "The world looks better through your eyes."
  • "It's only been one night of love and maybe that is not enough."
  • "If I fall for you, would you fall too?"
  • "It's not a homeless life for me, it's just I'm home less than I'd like to be."
  • "I haven't slept for the past week, two hours ain't enough for me."
  • "I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke."
  • "You can stay with me forever or you could stay with me for now."
  • "Outside the day is up and calling, but I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep."
  • "Never been better since all the therapy."
  • "And you know, if I let you go, I'll still keep you safe."
  • "You are the one I fall asleep with but never wake up to."
  • "The worst things in life come free to us."
  • "I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed."
  • "What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all."
  • "I know I'll never hold you like I used to."
  • "I'll be drunk again to feel a little love."
  • "I know you'll never love me like you used to."
  • "I found your hair band on my bedroom floor, the only evidence that you've been here before."
  • "I don't drink like everybody else, I do it to forget things about myself."
  • "There's no chance that we'll work it out."
  • "I said that's fine, but you're the only one that knows I lied."
  • "Everybody said we'd be together forever."
  • "Everything's great and everything's sure, but you live in your halls and I live in a tour bus."
  • "Pain is only relevant if it still hurts."
  • "If I was gonna go somewhere, I'd be there by now."
  • "I should ink my skin with your name."
  • "I should run you a hot bath and fill it up with bubbles."
  • "You should never cut your hair 'cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder."
  • "You will never know just how beautiful you are to me."
  • "Maybe you're hoping for a fairy tale, too."
  • "This is the start of something beautiful."
  • "And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm."
  • "I'm out of touch, I'm out of love."
  • "I think I love you better now."
  • "Playing a different show every night in front of a new crowd."
  • "Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures."
  • "You need me, man, I don’t need you."
  • "Never be anything but a singer-songwriter, yeah."
  • "People think that I’m bound to blow up."
  • "I haven’t got a house, plus I live on a couch."
  • "They say I’m up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator."
  • "Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady."
  • "I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet."
  • "Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone."
  • "All I want is the taste that your lips allow."
  • "Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more."
  • "It's been a while but I still feel the same... maybe I should let you go."
  • "Another love that's gone to waste."
  • "If I kissed you, will your mouth read this truth?"
  • "Darling, how I miss you."
  • "You made me scream, but then I made you cry."
  • "Maybe you should learn to love her like the way you wanna be loved."
  • "I never told her that I liked the way she dances slightly out of time and pretends she knows the words to a song she's never heard."
  • "You’re not her, though I try to see you differently."
  • "I will try to find another one who suited me as well as her."
  • "We never even tried, we never even talked, we never even thought in the long run."
  • "Whenever it was painful, whenever I was away, I’d miss you."
  • "I didn't mean to break your heart."
  • "Everybody falls apart sometimes."
  • "I know you've found another one, but won't you just hold me tonight."
  • "They don't know we don't speak anymore."
  • "I will stop trying to fall in love again... it never works out anyway."
  • "But I am not anything like I was."
  • "I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night if that's alright."
  • "I shouldn't have fucked with your mind and your life too many times."
  • "I never meant to sleep around, I was just lonely."
  • "When I see my future, it is with you."
  • "We're not friends, nor have we ever been."
  • "If they find out, will it all go wrong?"
  • "We're not friends, we could be anything."
  • "Friends don't treat me like you do."
  • "Tell me that you turned down the man who asked for your hand 'cause you're waiting for me."
  • "I know, you're gonna be away a while, but I've got no plans at all to leave."
  • "Just promise me, you'll never leave again."
  • "Just promise me, you'll always be a friend."
  • "Everything changes, but we'll be strangers if we see this through."
  • "I've been sat with you for most of the night, ignoring everybody here."
  • "Don't you worry if I disappear."
  • "I'm not really looking for another mistake."
  • "I was never looking for a friend."
  • "Maybe you could swing by my room around ten, baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin."
  • "Baby, if you wanted me then you should've just said."
  • "Maybe we'll go together and just figure it out."
  • "Trust and respect is what we do this for."
  • "You didn't need to take him to bed that's all."
  • "I never saw him as a threat until you disappeared with him to have sex of course."
  • "It's not like we were both on tour, we were staying on the same fucking hotel floor."
  • "I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different."
  • "This is not the way you realize what you wanted."
  • "It's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest."
  • "Getting high as two kites when we needed to breathe."
  • "I'd disappear, you'd call me selfish, I understand but I can't help it."
  • "So we can either deal with the pain and wait to get on a plane."
  • "You should go, 'cause I ain't ever coming home."
  • "I've been livin' on the road, but then again you should know."
  • "You won't ever be alone... wait for me to come home."
  • "Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul."
  • "When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me."
  • "How'd I get so faded?"
  • "I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream."
  • "I've been looking for a lover, thought I'd find her in a bottle."
  • "I'll be feeling this tomorrow."
  • "You look so wonderful in your dress, I love your hair like that."
  • "We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much."
  • "You got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us."
  • "All that you are is all that I'll ever need."
  • "Just don’t expect me back this evening."
  • "I love him from my skin to my bones but I don’t wanna live in his home."
  • "I was raised to keep quiet."
  • "I don't wanna hate you."
  • "I kind of knew you liked the dude from private school."
  • "I knew he had his eyes on you."
  • "He's not the right guy for you."
  • "Don't hate me 'cause I write the truth."
  • "I would never lie to you but it was never fine to lose you."
  • "I'm just disgusted with the skeletons you sleep with in your closet."
  • "Fact is you're mad at me because I backtrack so casually."
  • "You're practically my family, if we married then I'll guess you'd have to be."
  • "Tragically our love just lost the will to live, but would I kill to give it one more shot? I think not."
  • "I don't love you, baby, I don't need you... I don't want you anymore."
  • "I'm not cut out for life on the road 'cause I didn't know I'd miss you this much."
  • "I guess I'm not the man that you need."
  • "Ever since you went to uni, I've been sofa surfing with a rucksack full of less cash and I guess that could get bad."
  • "When I broke the industry, that's when I broke your heart."
  • "I was supposed to chart and celebrate, but good things are over fast."
  • "I tend to turn you off and switch on my professional features, then I turn the music off and all I'm left with is to pick up my personal pieces."
  • "Success is nothing if you have no one left to share it with."
  • "I know you have a day job, but mine is 24/7."
  • "I still love you and I need you by my side if I could."
  • "The irony is if my career and music didn't exist, in 6 years, you'd probably be my wife with a kid."
  • "I'll die from a thrill, go down in history as just a wasted talent."
  • "Eventually I'll be fine, I know that it was never meant to be."
  • "These things happen for a reason and you can't change shit."
  • "Take my apology, I'm sorry for the honesty, but I had to get this off my chest."
  • "I will be loving you 'til we're 70."
  • "People fall in love in mysterious ways."
  • "I fall in love with you every single day."
  • "For four years I never had a place to stay."
  • "At 16 years old, I moved out of my home."
  • "I tattooed the lyrics onto my arm."
  • "I'll hold ya and you'll think of him."
  • "I'll never trust you again, you can just be a friend."
  • "If we should die tonight, then we should all die together."

anonymous asked:

I apologize for going anon on you, seeing your inbox note. I'm aware I probably won't be answered. Earlier on Twitter you talked about popularity and social media. I have a personal situation and I wanted to know your thoughts, even if it might be harsh. I know notes =/= worth. I like what I make. I was also bent on improving. Yet it hurts when I barely get recognition when I've been in a fandom for years. I don't feel like I exist. -

- Plus I’ve become a little jealous over someone with same interests yet they’re popular. I try to avoid them, but I see their stuff everywhere. Their existence reminds me of my own ‘failure’. It’s not that I want to be wildly popular. I wish more people cared. I do feel as though communities aren’t as supportive as they could be. Thank you for taking the time to read this.           

I really don’t make a habit of answering anons, but if you have something that’s sincerely upsetting… well, it’s very hard for me to ignore that. We’ve all got weaknesses and sometimes it’s really super hard to talk to anyone about them.

No worries anon, I think this is something a lot of people struggle with. I don’t claim to know the answer, but I can certainly give you my two cents.

For anyone who doesn’t follow my Twitter (it’s a mess, I don’t blame you), this is the thread they’re referring to:

In addendum, it’s really easy to say things like recognition don’t matter. Numbers don’t matter. Twitter doesn’t lend well to talking at length about sensitive subjects, so I didn’t really delve into that part of it.

If I sounded like I don’t have my own problems with envy, don’t be fooled! I think even at our best, we all experience envy of others. No one is perfect, and we all crave what we lack, even if it’s not from a place of malice or ill-will.

It’s a really rough struggle, I’m not gonna lie. Things like natural advantages/disadvantages can take their toll (natural talent is a thing, friends), things like dumb luck can be downright infuriating. And a lot of times, that’s what it boils down to - because everyone works hard when they’re passionate about something. Sometimes, it’s about being in the right place at the right time, being born into an optimal environment, having the right resources, being in the right fandom, stumbling into the right group of friends, etc. Hell, the professional world is more often about networking than anything else, and that’s kind of a version of that.

Long story short, there are too many things out of your control. Which to me, is yet another reason why you shouldn’t beat yourself up over lack of popularity. Not to say that hard work and self-improvement should be thrown out the window, that’s not the point I’m trying to make; I’m just trying to say that there’s so much more that needs to be taken into consideration before you beat yourself up over low followers/likes/etc. (Not that you should ever beat yourself up for that)

So I suppose my advice is this: go out and make friends. Tailor your experience so that you no longer care about those numbers, or at least care less. Baby steps. Get more excited about sharing your work with close friends than posting on your blog and watching notes come in. Show your work to people who really matter to you - more often than not, a few kind words from them will mean more than 100,000 likes from some random strangers. If you think a community isn’t very welcoming or accepting… then look elsewhere! Other social media sites, other fandoms if you have to. No two places are the same.

Get more excited about self-discovery. Get more excited about self-improvement, learning something new. Your world is about you, your thoughts, your experiences. Not the opinion’s of random people on the internet. If you love something, if you enjoy something, they don’t matter.

It’s often a very slow process, learning to let go of envy and jealousy. I’ve only loosened my grip on it, it’s still there. I still feel petty and gross whenever I see an artist half my age and twice as talented, and I wonder, what sort of luck did they have? What silver spoon were they born with? Must be nice, I think bitterly, and then I catch myself and have a nasty taste in my mouth until I can let it go. Remind myself they’re a person too, and never wished to be better/more popular/successful to put others down.

Nobody is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and at the end of the day, only you can make the art you make. No one else can, not even so-called master artists. They don’t have your mind, your eyes, your touch. Only you can bring your art into the world.

Life is fleeting. Enjoy yours as best you can, be happy. There’s more to life than comparing yourself to others. More to life than art, even. There’s tasty food to be eaten, new places to visit, new friends to make.

It’s little things like these that help me loosen my grip on envy’s hand.

And on a lighter note… do you even want to be popular on this hellsite. ‘Cause let me tell you a thing, back when I had, I think I peaked at around 80k (maybe 100k) followers on my old blog? The amount of harassment I got was ridiculous. Turning anon off at that point didn’t even work, I’d get just about everything under the sun on par for internet culture. Popularity means visibility, and holy shit that isn’t always a good thing. I’m 10000000% happier in my tinier fandoms, and I hope I stay here.

Make Happy Starter Pack
  • Mix of comedy, deep stuff, out of context stuff, and potentially NSFW-ish sentences.
  • "Ladies if you feel me, say hell yeah!"
  • "Fellas if you feel me, say hell yeah!"
  • "Virgins, if you haven't felt a person, say hell yeah!"
  • "If you like drinking booze, let me hear you say hell yeah!"
  • "If you like smoking weed, let me hear you say hell yeah!"
  • "I can't wrap my mind around exactly why I'm here."
  • "I know you paid money."
  • "I should be funny."
  • "Look at the world. I don't know why I'm here."
  • "I would love to tell you that everything is fine."
  • "You wanna be happy... Well, get in line!"
  • "It gets old after a few minutes."
  • "Let's get this show started."
  • "I already fucked it up."
  • "Haters gonna hate. Lovers gonna love."
  • "You have to reject both sides of the spectrum to leave a healthy middle."
  • "Stop participating."
  • "Not a participatory thing going on up here."
  • "Did you not think I was gonna use this, idiot(s)?"
  • "It's not a prop."
  • "I've got a lot of problems in my life."
  • "I got no one to talk to."
  • "There's everyone and then there is just me."
  • "If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it?"
  • "God only knows, why he cursed me to be ________/(a straight white man)"
  • "I state my problems, other people roll their eyes."
  • "Three trips to the mall, zero _______ in my size."
  • "I've never been the victim of a random search for drugs."
  • "You can't say my life is easy."
  • "I know the road looks though ahead."
  • "Can't you just leave us alone?"
  • "Also, 'no' to the things you asked for."
  • "They are being greedy and they know it."
  • "Everyone thinks that I got it easy."
  • "Just because it's true, doesn't mean that it's right."
  • "So pull up a chair and put down your pitchforks."
  • "We still do, but it's not as fun now."
  • "If you were offended by that, it was ironic."
  • "Isn't that fun?"
  • "I meant the whole opposite of it."
  • "White guys... it's easy to be a white guy."
  • "We deserve a cheer once in a while."
  • "We invented a lot of stuff."
  • "Everything but peanut butter."
  • "Your grandkids are going to see this."
  • "Put the lights down."
  • "Their faces creep me out."
  • "I'm not perfect, ok?"
  • "Twice in a week? What is this?"
  • "Do you want to sing a song with me?"
  • "Hey, _____, guess what?"
  • "You're a (insert insult here)."
  • "So I was interrupted the other day-"
  • "Can you turn the lights off at least?"
  • "Why was it on a record player?"
  • "It's gonna outlive me."
  • "Do not give those dumb fucks any credit."
  • "It's all me baby, all me."
  • "How dare you make that joke so late!"
  • "I like poetry."
  • "Do not veer credit to people outside this building!"
  • "Two examples is enough."
  • "I'm right in the sweet spot."
  • "I could give that money to a homless person. But I don't do that very often."
  • "Tomorrow is a relative term. We're not getting there."
  • "You don't know where I'm going, so don't act like it."
  • "You're not ahead of me."
  • "I will retain the element of surprise."
  • "I'm trying to break out of that."
  • "This might not work."
  • "________, I heard you had sex with an older woman last night?"
  • "How does he do it?"
  • "I'm not honest for a second up here."
  • "I think country music gets a bad rep."
  • "A dirt road, a cold beer, blue jeans, a red pick-up."
  • "No shoes, no shirt."
  • "Sort of a mental typo."
  • "I could sing in mandarin."
  • "I own a private ranch that I rarely use. I don't like dirt."
  • "Now it's time to talk to the ladies."
  • "Good girl in a straw head."
  • "Thought it was a human woman."
  • "That is a scarecrow."
  • "I'm wanting you. I hope you're feeling me."
  • "You don't know what land you're in...?"
  • "They are lying to you, that's all."
  • "You deserve better."
  • "I'm not saying I'm it, but I'm the person that says you deserve better."
  • "It's the end of culture."
  • "We lost."
  • "How is this entertainment?"
  • "I saw a gorgeous dick. I was in a public restroom."
  • "You're not picturing this."
  • "I need to earn it."
  • "You need to earn it."
  • "There's more where that came from."
  • "Ladies, I know where that came from."
  • "You want a guy that's sweet."
  • "This ugy only exists in your mind."
  • "Guess what? You're right."
  • "If you want love, lower your expectations a few."
  • "Prince Charming would never settle for you."
  • "Just pick a guy and love him."
  • "Just pick a girl and love him."
  • "You wan't a girl that is noce, a girl that is not."
  • "A real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl!"
  • "She's real, but last week she died."
  • "You might think you dick is a gift, I promise it's not."
  • "I won't settle for less than perfect."
  • "Deep down we know we don't deserve it."
  • "We all deserve love."
  • "We all suck, but love can make us suck less."
  • "It's the very best part of being alive."
  • "Original does not mean good."
  • "Anyone can do anything."
  • "What is it good for?"
  • "I don't want to get political..."
  • "They just liked the lights, I didn't even need to do jokes."
  • "Yeah, you like that?"
  • "Honey are you ok?"
  • "Are you drunk?"
  • "What's behind your back?"
  • "It's a jar of peanut butter. Alright? Sue me."
  • "Why are you holding a jar of mayonnaise."
  • "I'll clean it up."
  • "You'll make it worse if you try it."
  • "Who are you talking to?"
  • "You just gestured to the sink."
  • "I bought something."
  • "Sit in silence."
  • "Nothing tastes better than not getting sued."
  • "You don't want that desperate sort of cloying thing."
  • "I'm just overpaid, ok?"
  • "I sound mean and rude."
  • "Let a professional hear it."
  • "Stick your tongue in a plug."
  • "Hold your breath until it's gone."
  • "Take your pants off!"
  • "You think it's ok because I'm a dude?"
  • "You think it's ok because he is a dude?"
  • "It's over."
  • "We shouldn't fight to stay together just to fight again."
  • "We need to take a break from us to make it right again."
  • "Honestly are you fucking five?"
  • "I've got my father's temper. I'm emotionally inarticulate."
  • "I'm hurting inside, I'm trying to hide it."
  • "I thought you were lashing out in anger."
  • "I deserve better than you."
  • "Sorry, you're not what I need."
  • "What am I talking about, you know?"
  • "It's about... but for real, what is it about?"
  • "No one gives a shit about what we think!"
  • "The arrogant is taught."
  • "It's prison. It's horrific"
  • "I know very little about anything."
  • "He talked about his problems."
  • "I thought... maybe I could do this."
  • "Can I say my shit, _______?"
  • "I got lots of shit to say."
  • "I can't fit my hand insdie a pringle can."
  • "It's way too small."
  • "You think you can. I know you can't"
  • "Just... make them wider?"
  • "I wanna have a daughter."
  • "But that is priority numero uno."
  • "I don't go to the gym 'cause I'm self concious about my body."
  • "I'm self concious about my body because I don't go to the gym."
  • "Irony can be so painful."
  • "Dude, you should have warned me."
  • "No one wants to have a messx burrito."
  • "I wouldn't have gotten the _______ if I knew it wouldn't fit."
  • "I wouldn't have got half of it."
  • "I'm ok with small mistakes."
  • "I don't think that I can handle this right now."
  • "I can sit here an pretend that my biggest problems are pringle cans and burritos."
  • "The truth is my biggest problem is you."
  • "I want to please you but stay true to myself."
  • "Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of you needs you, part of me fears you."
  • "I should probably just shut up."
  • "You can tell them anything."
  • ""I hope you're happy."
  • "Oh, good, it's just us."
  • "If you hated it, it's fair."
  • "On a scale of one to zero, ________?"
  • "Are you happy?"
  • "But what the fuck kind of question is 'are you happy'?"
  • "Oh god, my dad was right."
  • "You're everything you hated. Are you happy?"
  • "Hey, look, Mom, I made it! Are you happy?"

anonymous asked:

I'm mainly surprised cause there are somethings we've all seen kaisoo do that just, you don't see friends doing? Those fucking stares???! Like is that just admiration? I'm mostly surprised cause there is a plethora of kaisoo evidence and then boom kaistal shoots out every now and then and now blam they're dating. It also looks super staged, like the baekyeon thing, with making Kai do photo shoots and such with Krystal. Idk really but this is all fishy, but I mainly wanna hear it from Kai.

Well, I won’t say that I’m not surprised myself. One day everyone was following their usual lives and, yeah, but the next second the news get everyone by surprise. 

Honestly, I thought if it was a good idea sharing these thoughts or not (it isn’t), but I’m gonna do it anyway, since you asked. But, I’m warning you:

  1. It’s a theory;
  2. It’s an EXTREMELY delusional theory;
  3. It’s probably (99,9%) wrong, so don’t be serious about this;
  4. I don’t want to invalidate Ka***al relationship or anything that’s going on around them;
  5. DON’T HAVE YOUR HOPES UP BECAUSE IT’S JUST A THEORY AND I DON’T KNOW THEM AT ALL 




Well, do you remember that rumor thar began to surface in middle March about a media report of a same sex idol couple being revealed? 

One news media outlet has an exclusive report on evidence they’ve collected of a same sex couple within an idol group. It has been customary for reports on celebrities coming out of the closet to be banned from being reported but after  waiting on the piece of news for months, the outlet has decided to break that custom. 


The same sex couple that they will be revealing are two members in the same group and are trending idols that are expected to cause a ripple in the industry.

Honestly, this is vague as fuck. Could be any rising group nowadays (I won’t tell any names, but can think for a minute). Could be inside a boy group OR a girl group. This could be a rumor as well. But, since this theory is extremely delusional, I’m gonna presume that piece of information is real.

Two days later I was talking to a friend about this and we started to discuss, if it was a couple inside EXO. It would be a possible choice, since they’re trending and, if it was revealed, it would cause a ripple in the industry. She wondered if, it was Kaisoo, SM would use this in their favor. I disagreed, and I answered that, for SM at the moment, it would be better fake a couple with one of them. Why? 

Because a fake couple involving two people of the same company is easier to control. It’s easier for them to tell the ppl involved how they must feel, what they must say and their limits.

SM always wanted to show Jongin as a ladies man. Like, back in 2013 where he made a VCR with a girl during a concert or he kissed another in the cheek during Wolf’s Drama. But, at the time, fans were crazy and didn’t accept that, so he didn’t show himself in such position for a while.

Until Choko Bank. 

In my opinion, this drama wasn’t only made to present Jongin to the public as an actor, but to make the company (SM) see the fans reaction of him with a romantic interest. He didn’t kiss her in the end, but he almost did. But, fans weren’t screaming or revolted like they were in the past. So, maybe it was a sign that, if he appeared with a date in real life. 

In March, those rumors came out (the same sex couple). And, now, twenty days later, we’re seeing Kai and Kr**** as a couple (i’m trying not to talk her name for it not appear in her tag, but I think it will appear on it anyway).

If you analyze it coldly, the news release wasn’t too close to make it suspicious or too far to give time to the “media source” reveal the couple it wanted to. Probably they’ll never will, but whatever. That’s not the point.

Now, taking about the pictures. They were taken in February 17th, when EXO went to LA because of the concert. Okay. Now, think. Dispatch had those pictures since February 17. Why didn’t they release them right away? Why did they wait for so long? What were they waiting for? I mean, they don’t have much more “evidence” than those pictures to show. 

Second: SM confirmed Ka***** relationship less than an hour from Dispatch’s announcement. It’s quite fast, if you allow me to say. When you compare it to Baekhyun/Taeyeon’s case, SM took some hours to confirm it. If you think about it, it’s almost like they were expecting it to happen. 

So, that’s what I think: if they are dating for real, SM knew of this pictures and, after a small talk with Dispatch ($$$), they requested them to hold them for a little longer? Why? Because of Exoluxion.

The timing was too perfect to be true. The tour ended, and the Epilogue SM prepared ended as well. The fans didn’t see that coming. NO ONE saw that coming until it was too late. Because, if it was, at least urgent, Dispatch would have released it right away or they would wait more to show more pictures of more dates or more proof. But they didn’t do it. 

So, independent of if they are dating or not, one thing is right: SM had the control of this information for sure, and just to know this, means that something is fishy, like you, anon, said. 

Even if it doesn’t involve Kaisoo at all or how their relationship works, it IS fishy. And what I learned from all those years inside Kpop, is that you can’t trust SM at all.

But, if it’s 100% true, I’ll support Jongin’s happiness, it doesn’t matter who he is with. Kyungsoo makes Jongin happy, and even if it’s not in a romantic way, I have the feeling that they’ll still be connected somehow, and I hope that a romantic relationship doesn’t change how beautiful Kaisoo’s dynamic is.

anonymous asked:

What were you referring about Maison's birth? (in your answer to Dacii) Don't answer if you don't want to, I'm just being curious...

Misha said this during aecon4

I told production, you know, ‘I’m having a baby’ —Maison, my daughter— ‘I’m having a baby in September, so do me a favour and try to write me light in those episodes, so you can maybe move stuff around.’ The episode right before the baby was due, the episode where the baby was due, and the episode right after that, were the heaviest episodes that I’ve had all season. And then after that, it was like, ‘Ah, and then he’s off for five or six episodes.’ I was like, ‘Thanks a lot, guys! Super helpful.’

So, my wife, her water broke, and I called the studio and said, ‘Hey guys, the water broke, I’m not coming in today.’

And they were like, ‘Oh, God. Well, if the baby comes, maybe you can come in later today?’

And I said, ‘Okay, but I think I’m probably gonna try to take the whole day off.’

And they said, ‘Well, we’ll check in with you around lunchtime.’

So they called like, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ It was really funny, because the producer kept calling, and trying to be like, ‘Ahh, how’s it going? How’s the baby?’ But he didn’t give a shit. He was just like, are you gonna come in later today or not?

So the end of the day came, and the baby hadn’t come, and we called the midwife. And production called and said ‘What’s going on?’

And I said, ‘Well, the baby still hasn’t come.’

And they said, ‘You’re gonna be in tomorrow, right?’

And I said, ‘I… I mean, I think so? I’m gonna call the midwife.’

I called the midwife and said, ‘The water broke, is this, you know, is this normal?’

The midwife said, ‘Definitely. The baby will definitely be born by tomorrow.’

So I called them back and said ‘Guys, don’t worry. I should be in tomorrow. Baby’s gonna be born tonight.’

Overnight… baby wasn’t born. Next morning, production calls, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’

‘Uh, well, it’s going good; it’s not going great, I mean, the baby’s not born yet. So I’m not coming in.’

And they said, ‘Well, maybe you could come in, and then if the baby starts to come, go home.’

And I said, ‘…no. Not coming in.’

And they said, ‘Okay. But it’s gonna be definitely born today, right?’

And I called the midwife and said, ‘Is it definitely gonna be born today? ‘Cause everybody’s getting kinda nervous.’

And the midwife said, ‘Absolutely.’

I called back, I said ‘The baby is definitely, definitely— the baby promises it’s gonna be born. Because apparently, in 99.9% of cases, with women who have already had a baby, once the water breaks, it’s born within 24 hours. So we’re safe.’

Apparently, we’re the .1% that that doesn’t happen to, because the next day, the baby still wasn’t born. And they were freaking out. And I was freaking out, ‘cause I mean, it’s one thing, on a production, to miss one day. To miss two days is not cool. To miss three days, they start calling the insurance company, because they literally have to stop production and it’s a big deal for them. You know, it costs them maybe a couple hundred thousand dollars a day.

And so they say, ‘Well, can they… could they surgically remove the baby?’

And I’m like, ‘No, we’re not gonna surgically remove the baby! Just, just be patient.’

They’re not patient. So, finally the baby was born, but I missed three days. And then as soon as the baby was born, they were like, ‘Great! Can you come in now?’ And I did. That was good. That was fun. Although other than the studio breathing down our necks the whole time, it went very smoothly. But the studio was very stressful to deal with.”

x

a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 12)
  • "You can have my heart."
  • "I think we're doomed."
  • "I'm sorry, but it's too late and it's not worth saving."
  • "You know that I'm in love with the mess."
  • "I think I like it."
  • "I think we're doomed and now there is no way back."
  • "I know you're right behind me."
  • "Don't you let me go tonight."
  • "Say you'll be there."
  • "Why do we waste time hiding it inside?"
  • "I want you to be mine."
  • "You know the way I can't resist you."
  • "If we try once more, would you give me it all?"
  • "I'll tell you flat out, it hurts so much to think of this."
  • "I've thrown away so many things that could've been much more."
  • "I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored."
  • "You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light."
  • "I love you. Oh God, I love you."
  • "Life is now worth living, if only because of you."
  • "Who the fuck do you think I am?"
  • "You ain't married to no average bitch, boy."
  • "Don't hurt yourself."
  • "You ain't trying hard enough."
  • "I'm just too much for you."
  • "If you try this shit again, you gonna lose your wife."
  • "I was sitting waiting, wishing."
  • "This world is cruel."
  • "I'm just a fool learning loving somebody don't make them love you."
  • "Must I always be waiting on you?"
  • "Must I always be playing your fool?"
  • "I gave ya friends all a chance."
  • "I can't always be waiting on you."
  • "I keep playing your part, but it's not my scene."
  • "I've had enough mystery."
  • "I'm not you and if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel."
  • "Waiting on love ain't so easy to do."
  • "I wanted that heat so bad, I could taste the fire on your breath."
  • "I wanted in your storm so bad, I could taste the lightning on your breath."
  • "The world is so pale next to you."
  • "Your hair is coxcomb red, your eyes are viper black."
  • "You said every road is a good road."
  • "Every love is your best love and every love is your last love."
  • "Every kiss is a goodbye."
  • "Yeah, you still kiss me, but it's just on the cheek."
  • "You pull away so easily."
  • "You even stay over, but now we stay in our clothes."
  • "I'm only there so that you're not alone."
  • "I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk."
  • "I'm not afraid. I'm not."
  • "I'll show you my true colors."
  • "No, I won't apologize."
  • "It's like I've waited all my life."
  • "All the pretty girls like Samuel."
  • "It's more than he can handle."
  • "Life is anything but fair."
  • "You’re the only one I’m in love with."
  • "You’re the only thing I’m interested in."
  • "You’re the only one I miss like this."
  • "We’re still two lives in ruin, we’re still boats anchored at sea."
  • "Don’t you ruin."
  • "Here I am, I’ve got to tell you while I can."
  • "You’re the only one I’ve been waiting for."
  • "You’re the only one I have to have."
  • "Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman."
  • "Somethin' 'bout you makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't."
  • "I live for danger."
  • "All girls wanna be like that; bad girls underneath like that."
  • "From the moment I first saw you, I was yours and you were mine."
  • "Deep down we both knew you were trouble by design."
  • "Baby, don't you play with fire."
  • "It's too late to say goodbye."
  • "We both knew it was trouble."
  • "Now I'm under your spell."
  • "Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby."
  • "As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine."
  • "Nothing's gonna take you from my side."
  • "Give me the way it could have been."
  • "Give me it all."
  • "I called you up three times last night."
  • "Running through the streets, bloody from a fist fight."
  • "Keep you warm, keep you there, wanna keep you all."
  • "See you there, wanna see you some day."
  • "As you look back, I'm pulling away."
  • "All that remains are words in the rain."
  • "Give me a goodbye said out loud."
  • "I know you could be here with me."
  • "I'll be right there."
  • "I feel there's a fork in the road."
  • "I took a pill in Ibiza to show Avicii I was cool."
  • "Fuck it, it was something to do."
  • "I drive a sports car just to prove I'm a real big baller 'cause I made a million dollars."
  • "You don't wanna be high like me."
  • "You don't ever wanna step off that roller coaster and be all alone."
  • "All I know are sad songs."
  • "I'm just a singer who already blew his shot."
  • "I can't keep a girl, 'cause as soon as the sun comes up, I cut 'em all loose and work's my excuse, but the truth is I can't open up."
  • "People still think I'm a star."
  • "Hold up, they don't love you like I love you."
  • "Can't you see there's no other man above you?"
  • "What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you."
  • "How did it come down to this? Scrolling through your call list."
  • 'I don't wanna lose my pride, but I'mma fuck me up a bitch."
  • "What's worse, lookin' jealous or crazy?"
  • "Let's imagine for a moment that you never made a name for yourself."
  • "We were made for each other."
  • "It is such a shame you let this good love go to waste."
  • "It's always up and down with you, this game you play is kinda twisted."
  • "I could leave it all behind, trouble is I know I’d miss it."
  • "Even though you play me like an Xbox, I don’t want you to take your hands off."
  • "I'm all about you."
  • "You always make my heart beat faster."
  • "I don’t want you to take your hands off me."
  • "You don't want to act like you care."
  • "Are you gonna give up so easily?"
  • "I thought I meant more, I thought we were strong."
  • "Babe, I've been stressing about us all day."
  • "Guess you bit off more than you could chew."
  • "I've got literally nothing to say to you."
  • "You wanna promise me you'll never go, then you wanna leave."
  • "Don't text me, you're pathetic, bitch, please."
  • "You don't get a goodbye."
  • "You don't get another shot to make me everything I'm not."
  • "I'm a girl on fire, I'm a girl who dreams."
  • "You're a boy who needs to stay the hell away from me."
  • "It was loneliest with you there."
  • "This is the only way you'll hear from me."
  • "You thought you wanted her and got what you deserved."
  • "Used to want you but I don't now."
  • "I can be cruel just like you."
  • "You hit me up again to tell me I'm the one."
  • "Was she worth letting me go?"
  • "I need you right here by my side."
  • "You're everything I'm not in my life."
  • "We're indestructible, we are untouchable."
  • "Nothing can take us down tonight."
  • "You are so beautiful, it should be criminal."
  • "I'll promise you this love will never die."
  • "No matter what, I got your back."
  • "I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that."
  • "Believe me when I say you're the one."
  • "They'll never forgive us for the things we've done."
  • "Everybody said that we would never last, and if they saw us now I bet they'd take it back."
  • "In a simple skirt you caused a ricochet of courting boys that watch you walk away."
  • "I don't live my life like you do."
  • "Every time you leave, I wanna go."
  • "Don't be so blind."
  • "Am I your one and only desire?"
  • "Am I the reason you breathe or am I the reason you cry?"
  • "I just can't live without you."
  • "I love you, I hate you, I can't get around you."
  • "I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you."
  • "I just can't take any more, this life of solitude."
  • "I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you."
  • "I feel like you don't want me around."
  • "I guess I'll pack all my things."
  • "I guess I'll see you around."
  • "It's all been bottled up until now."
  • "Why would you tear my world apart?"
  • "I see the blood all over your hands."
  • "Does it make you feel more like a man?"
  • "Was it all just a part of your plan?"
  • "She liked black caddies, listened to Puff Daddy and danced until her legs were sore."
  • "He loves her definitely maybe."
  • "I see you everyday,I'm too scared to go over."
  • "I wonder what she'd say, I barely even know her."
  • "How much longer will this keep getting stronger?"
  • "I wonder when you'll realize that she means a lot more to me."
  • "He's picking me up at 6 again and I don't wanna disappoint my boyfriend."
  • "She's telling all the girls about all the things that he bought her."
  • "He had his hands on every single girl he laid his eyes on."
  • "Even when he kissed her, he was looking over staring at her sister."
  • "I'm not the type to get my heart broken."
  • "I'm not the type to get upset and cry."
  • "I never leave my heart open, never hurts me to say goodbye."
  • "Relationships don't get deep to me, never got the whole in love thing."
  • "Someone can say they love me truly, but at the time it didn't mean a thing."
  • "I stray from love."
  • "It cut me like a knife when you walked out of my life."
  • "I've got all the symptoms of a girl with a broken heart."
  • "No matter what you'll never see me cry."
  • "I should've never let you hold me, baby, maybe why I'm sad to see us apart."
  • "I didn't give to you on purpose, can't figure out how you stole my heart."
  • "I never meant to let it get so personal."
  • "Am I the reason why you tossed and turned last night?"
  • "Everything was such a blur, it didn't come out right."
  • "All of a sudden it's cold and we're falling apart."
  • "I guess we're really over."
  • "I'm not over it."
  • "You make me feel like I'm desperate."
  • "I'm not desperate."
  • "Little bit possessive, little miss obsessive, can't get over it."
  • "That side of your bed is still mine."
  • "I've never been a fan of long goodbyes."
  • "It's like a fairy tale without a happy ending."
  • "Tell me that you care."
  • "I try to make it through my life; in my way, there's you."
  • "Just don't deny it."
  • "You tried to break me."
  • "If you were dead or still alive, I don't care."
  • "Everything's so blurry."
  • "Everyone's so fake and everybody's empty and everything is so messed up."
  • "My whole world surrounds you."
  • "You know that I'll protect you."
  • "I wonder what you're doing, imagine where you are."
  • "Everyone is changing."
  • "Let me know just how you feel, 'cause I am lost without you."
a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters
  • "I'm insecure and I care what people think."
  • "We're stressed out."
  • "Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days."
  • "Wake up, you need to make money."
  • "You used to make me feel like I could walk on water."
  • "You're the reason why I can't listen to the same songs I used to."
  • "I write songs about you all the time."
  • "I bet I don't run through your mind."
  • "I've given up on you.
  • "It still hurts to know you're not alone."
  • "Lately, my dog's the only one around that listens to my problems."
  • "It's been a lonely year."
  • "I'm just happy being with you."
  • "Quietly, quietly, the two of us are entangled."
  • "You don't realize the way I am."
  • "This silent love leaves a silent scar."
  • "I don't feel anything when I look at your face."
  • "That's nothing compared to what I had done in the past."
  • "Wild horses couldn't drag me away."
  • "You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress."
  • "Please remember me, fondly."
  • "We'll meet again."
  • "Fuck the man."
  • "I heard from someone you're still pretty."
  • "And when the morning came I was ashamed. Only now it seems so silly."
  • "Never meant to last."
  • "An angel kissin' on a sinner."
  • "Girls like girls like boys do."
  • "Always gonna steal your thunder."
  • "Imma take your girl out."
  • "Don't tell me what I feel."
  • "Kissed your girls and made you cry, boys."
  • "Tell me if you feel it, too."
  • "Hello there, the angel from my nightmare."
  • "We can live like Jack and Sally if we want."
  • "I would ask for advice, but I just do what I like."
  • "You're a waste of my time."
  • "I smoke cause I'm stressed. I try to get high, but it gets me depressed."
  • "I've fallen for her, more than once."
  • "My daddy is dead, I've got no man to follow."
  • "And I know that I'm shallow, but why shouldn't I be?"
  • "I don't want any trouble, it just chooses to find me."
  • "I've been thinkin' about fallin' in love."
  • "I've been thinkin' about you."
  • "I’m afraid somebody else might take my place."
  • "All my friends always lie to me."
  • "You’re too mean, I don’t like you."
  • "Fuck you anyway."
  • "You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs."
  • "You make me wanna die."
  • "Keep on dreaming, don’t stop breathing, fight those demons."
  • "I got a hunger and it won't go away."
  • "I want it all to remind me of the first time."
  • "I think I like you, but it's complicated."
  • "It's always better when we're together."
  • "You look so pretty sleeping next to me."
  • "I belong with no one."
  • "You belong with me."
  • "Run off to school like a good drama queen."
  • "Do you care where you're going, or know where you've been?"
  • "Our faith is placed in second chances."
  • "You're the star of the story you don't care about."
  • "Just a little girl in a bigger world turning upside-down."
  • "You keep it all inside so that nobody knows."
  • "All these boys are thirsty for your outsides."
  • "You never care to ever let the right ones in."
  • "Baby, I'll carry you all the way home."
  • "I just wanna love you, dear."
  • "I understand you, just take my hand."
  • "I found God. I found him in a lover."
  • "He's off to pay his crimes and he's got no time for mine."
  • "It's tearing me apart."
  • "It's ruining everything."
  • "Were you lying all the time?"
  • "Was it just a game to you?"
  • "You know I'm such a fool for you."
  • "You got me wrapped around your finger."
  • "I thought the world of you."
  • "I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong."
  • "It was always me and you."
  • "This body is yours."
  • "Your mess is mine."
  • "Luck be on my side tonight."
  • "You're the reason that I feel so strong."
  • "You still make sense to me."
  • "Boy, look the other way."
  • "That's not the way that friends behave."
  • "I always knew that I would love you from afar."
  • "She's got darling hazel eyes."
  • "It shouldn't come as a surprise."
  • "Why do you go wasting your time on me?"
  • "I'm eager to please."
  • "I'm scared that you’re gonna slip away."
  • "I don’t think she knows how she changed all my plans."
  • "You act like you don't know me."
  • "My god, you tempt my anxious mind."
  • "We are bitter losers, snarling through our smiles."
  • "We are wild."
  • "We’re fucked, but we say that we’re fine."
  • "We long for journeys and the roadside."
  • "Every little thing made me miss you more."
  • "I'm just trying to make a getaway to you, and I'd have gone a thousand miles more."
  • "And I looked at you, you were so damn cute."
  • "I know you're thinking of me."
  • "You're everything that I hoped for."
  • "I'm all the shit that you go for."
  • "Stop kidding yourself now."
  • "I never found a way to let you know."
  • "I also never found a way to let you go."
  • "Right now I’m feeling rough."
  • "Come settle in with me."
  • "I will not open myself up this way again."
  • "Feels like I don't know you."
  • "I've strayed from who it was that you knew."
  • "You were trying to make it work."
  • "You were sleeping in my shirt
  • "Sometimes things don't come full circle."
  • "I was hoping that you cared."
  • "I was distant, I was scared."
  • "There's no way to go back now."
  • "Just love me when you can."
  • "I'll wait patiently."
  • "I'll wake up every day just hoping that you still care."
  • "Surely even I deserve the best."
  • Just when I believe you've changed for good, you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would."
  • "When I run out of second chances, you give me that look
  • and you're off the hook."
  • "Oh, what am I still doing here?"
  • "It ain't right to just love me when you can."
  • "Slow down, you are out of control."
  • "One of us is right, and one of us is wrong."
  • "It could be so easy if it didn't feel so wrong."
  • "What if I was younger?"
  • "I never should have asked, it was a long time ago."
  • "There's things I wish I knew."
  • "We're a million miles away."
  • "With you, my dear, I'm safe."
  • "You will be gone and I won't see you anymore."
  • "You left my love on the line and said that you were leaving."
  • "I saw you in the arms of someone else."
  • "I cry myself to sleep and you thought I was happy."
  • "I was lonely, had nowhere to go."
  • "I heard that you moved on."
  • "Everything has changed."
  • "Sometimes you've got to bleed to know that you're alive."
  • "The songs on the radio are okay, but my taste in music is your face."
  • "You fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time."
  • "I heard you were lying about how brave you are.
  • "I heard you were still trying to get back to the start."
  • "I'm gonna miss you."
  • "Gonna miss you, girl, and all of the things we could've done."
  • "I move so fast, how could you be with me?"
  • "I wish you well. All the best."
  • "I spent an hour with you, should I want anything else?"
  • "We were sixteen, maybe less, maybe a little more."
  • "I walked home smiling, I finally had a story to tell."
  • "Time has bridled us both, but I remember you, too."
  • "You confuse me with your riddles and your sudden generosity."
  • "You really shouldn't get this fucked up."
  • "I'm tired of being careful."
  • "Let me under your skin."
  • "Why do I always spill?"
  • "God, I wish I never spoke."
  • "Think I got myself in trouble."
  • "Should've never said the word 'love.'"
  • "I'm sick of all the games I have to play."
  • "I've got your picture, she's got you."
  • "Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces."
  • "Everyone thinks that we're perfect."
  • "Go back to being plastic."
  • "Smile for the picture."
  • "We were too wasted to close the window."
  • "Do you want it? Do you want me?"
  • "You are where I want to be."
  • "I can drive."
  • "Who is she?"
  • "I used to know know to leave the boy behind without having to watch him go."
  • "Going on, my first impression, I recall you wearing white."
  • "There was something sweet in the air, babe, that summer night."
  • "There will always be another time for us to fall in love."
  • "The first times always cut the deepest."
  • "She is something to behold, elegant and bold."
  • "I could easily lose my mind."
  • "The way you kiss me will work each time."
  • "Eyes, innocent and wild, remind me what it's like."
  • "Pulling me back into the flames and I'm burning up again."
  • "I never understood what was at stake."
  • "Well now you've come and gone, I finally worked it out."
  • "I never should have told you."
  • "I never should have let you see inside."
  • "Don't want it troubling your mind. Won't you let it be?"
  • "You cool me down."
  • "Do you love me now?"
  • "I'm not so used to doubt."
  • "Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth."
  • "You're the only one that wants me around."
  • "I don't believe in you and I."
  • "I'm not yours anymore."
  • "You're always leaving me behind."
  • "I feel like a fool."
  • "I ain't got nothing left to give."
  • "You are mine, I am yours. Lets not fuck around."
  • "You are the only one."
  • "Yours is the first face that I saw."
  • "I realize that I need you and I wondered if I could come home."
  • "Remember the time you drove all night, just to meet me in the morning."
  • "I thought it was strange, you said everything changed, you felt as if you'd just woke up."
  • "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you."
  • "I don't care, I could go anywhere with you and I'd probably be happy."
  • "Maybe this time is different."
  • "I mean, I really think you like me."
  • "You pull away so easily."
  • "I'm only there so that you're not alone."
  • "So I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk."
  • "I want a lover I don't have to love."
  • "I'll meet up with the band in the morning."
  • "Love's an excuse to get hurt."
  • "We both go together if one falls down."
  • "I talk out loud like you're still around."
  • "Do I let her sleep or should I wake her up?"
  • "We were lovers in a past life."
  • "I'll make you mine, time after time."
  • "We can keep in touch if that's what you want."
  • "You say I don't have the time for you, but I do."
  • "I am what you need when you can't find it somewhere else."
  • "I am what you want when you don't have anything else."
  • "I came here with a load and it feels so much lighter now I met you."
  • "Honey, you should know that I could never go on without you."
  • "You're the one that I wanted to find."
  • "Anyone who tried to deny you must be out of their mind."
  • "I know it's too late."
  • "I should have given you a reason to stay."
  • "We're not the same, dear, as we used to be."
  • "There was little we could say, and even less that we could do."
  • "Nothing was left for you and me."
  • "Someday you will be loved."
  • "I cannot pretend that I felt any regret."
  • "The memories of me will seem more like bad dreams."
  • "I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet."
  • "You told her that you loved her, but you don't."
  • "She was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me."
  • "I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking as we moved together in the dark."
  • "All I see are dark grey clouds in the distance moving closer with every hour."
  • "Was something wrong?"
  • "You're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now."
  • "No, we can't talk about it now."
  • "One last touch and then you'll go, and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more."
  • "It was vile, and it was cheap."
  • "You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me."

anonymous asked:

Hi Lance!!! So I'm heading into grade 9 pretty soon, and honestly I'm really nervous :P Everyones been telling me different things about it so I don't really know what to think of it anymore. I was just wondering if you have any advice?? Thanks friendo ✌️ stay cool

⋆ there is no pool on the roof

⋆ technically it’s best to get all your supplies shopping done before school starts, but??? idk, before the garrison i learned to just get the basics (like notebooks, pencils, a planner and etc.) and then wait til after the first day to buy more specific stuff. ‘cause sometimes the supply list will be outdated or something and there’s nothing more aggravating than having your teacher tell you you didn’t really need a bunch of shit you paid a good benjamin for. some teachers will be all “wh at?? you don’t have the thing and we’re already two hours into the school year!!??” but, you won’t be alone. trust me. it’s okay to wait.

⋆ also, read your syllabus if you get one, like… syllabi are good reminders as to why you even bother, and what you’re supposed to get out of each lesson, on days when school feels annoying and pointless

⋆ ik some teachers will tell you not to “read ahead” but?? read ahead. even do your homework ahead if you can, like bruh… if you’ve got the time…

⋆ a lot of people are gonna be asking you your name, where you’re from and what you like to do on the first day, so try and have a few answers prepared

⋆ if you didn’t have lockers in middle school, it’ll take some getting used to, but definitely use your locker. you don’t want to hurt your back carrying a bunch of shit around all day. eventually you’ll figure out how to make it to all your classes on time and when to take your locker stops, but that’ll take practice. and teachers will only forgive you for being late at the beginning of the year, so start practicing right away

⋆ it helps to wear a watch and carry your schedule in your pocket the first few days

⋆ it takes a while to get used to a new floor plan too, so don’t get too scared about getting lost, just ask for directions, everyone will understand

⋆and idk if your school’s orientation happened already but, if you can, try to walk around the building a few days before school starts, and memorize all the exits, the caf, and the bathrooms

⋆ practice your locker combo a few times before putting the lock on your locker

⋆ joining clubs and sports is a good way to make friends AND keep you interested in school, you’ll be less likely to skip a long day of boring classes if you’re looking forward to video game club afterwards ygm

⋆ sophomores (in general) are not your friends istg… if anything, the upperclassmen above them are safer allies tbh

⋆ don’t date a senior. just. do not do that.

⋆ do not

⋆ unless they’re some 15 yr old jimmy neutron, any senior trying to date you is trash do NOT, you deserve better than that

⋆ dab right outta there

⋆ follow the dress code, but if teachers start shitting with you, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself… some adults are just bitter and annoying and creepy and need to be reminded you’re here to learn not seduce anybody

⋆ school nurses are always evil, idkw… just,, don’t take their shit personally

⋆ if you need them always carry menstrual supplies w you??? even if you don’t your friends might

⋆ also bring snacks w you, and some deo, and a flashlight.. just in case the power goes out idk, i always did

⋆ high school is awesome bc you get to finally start working towards being who you wanna be!! don’t be afraid of switching classes or clubs or even friend groups, now’s the time to start getting a feel of who you are and what you want to do in life without too much to worry about getting it wrong

⋆ be cool to people. all people. always. being a jerk or supporting someone that’s a jerk?? is so ugly?? and could really hurt someone

⋆ report bullying, like seriously. you’re too important and have too much shit to strive for to let someone waste your time trying to drag you down to their level

⋆ don’t befriend someone cause you feel you “have to”… be it just because they’re popular or just because they have no one else. always make sure your friendships are a give and take, and that you actually like your friends and that they like you too

⋆ buy out the time to get extra help after school, for homework or test prep, and or even just to ask questions about the day’s lesson if you missed something. like, really make the most out of all the opportunities offered to you

⋆ either check your syllabus or text a friend for missed assignments when you’re sick. you don’t want to end up doing a shitload of work all at once if you don’t have to

⋆ don’t be an asshole to the substitutes, uncool

⋆ also make sure to ask for help if your environment at home isn’t all that supportive?? school could be your ticket out of there, you never know

⋆ GO EASY ON YOURSELF AND HAVE FUN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

⋆ you’re still a KID so make sure you’re getting your rest and giving yourself room to fuck up sometimes. the most important thing is that you’re doing your best ✌✌✌

⋆ stay safe 💕

5SOS PREFERENCES #106: AU - HE'S THE BAD BOY AND YOU'RE THE GOOD GIRL - PART 5...
  • A/N: Well, I'm guessing this will be the final part. But, it might not be the end just yet. Stay tuned on my blog for more information.
  • Luke: The bell rang, announcing that the last class of the day was over. You took your time retrieving your stuff, seeing as you hadn't much to do that Friday afternoon. Slowly, you made your way out of the classroom. "Took you long enough", out of the corner of your eye, you saw Luke's tall frame leaning against the wall. "What are you doing here?", you asked, trying your best to not sound rude. "Waiting for you", he swiftly took your books, holding your hand with his free one. "Why?", you said, forcing your body not to tense up at his sweet touch. "Because I wanted to", he shrugged, intertwining his finger with yours. You looked at your hands, then at him. He looked so beautiful, almost nothing like the bad boy you used to see in him. But, you knew he was still there. You knew he hadn't changed at all. And you knew that people weren't only staring at you two because they thought you were an odd couple; they were also thinking 'that's the next girl that's gonna have her heart broken by Luke Hemmings'. And you knew better than to fall into his charms, but his voice was like an anesthesia that made your brain lazy and your bones numb, and it was dragging you directly to him. You hated yourself for being like all the other girls that fell for him - you were smarter than them. You knew what was going to happen. But, you didn't mind one bit. You were going to enjoy it while it lasted, and most surely cry when it was over. But, you still didn't have to think about that. "So", you said, putting his arm around your shoulder in a way that you were still holding hands and coming closer to his body, "How were your classes?".
  • Ashton: It didn't take long for Ashton to get to your house. What took you long was gaining courage to sneak out while your parents were sleeping - which he made pretty clear on the way to the party. And now, you were pressed against a wall, feeling like a fish out of the water. You weren't sure what you had expected from the party. Actually, you did know exactly what you had expected. But, now you felt like an idiot for thinking that Ashton Irwin, the bad boy, would spend the whole party talking to you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the good girl. It was only obvious, you now realized, that he was going to leave your side the moment you walked through the door and flirt with random girls all night long. What were you even doing there? You watched as a girl left Ashton alone and walked up to him. "Ashton", you said. "Yeah, babe?", he asked, wrapping an arm around your waist. "I think I'm going home", you struggled to get out of his grip. "What? Why?!", he asked. "'Cause I'm not having much fun", you said, "I don't even think I should've came in the first place". "C'mon, (Y/N)", he put each hand on one side of your waist. "No, really, Ashton. All you've ever done since we got here is ignore me and flirt with random girls". "Are you jealous?", he smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Fuck you, Ashton", you rolled your eyes, turning around to leave him. "Wait, are you forgetting I'm your ride back home?", you heard his voice in your ear and felt his front pressed against your back. "I can get a cab", you shrugged. "You don't even know where we are", he had a good point - you were absolutely lost, "I'll drive you home". You knew that if you gave in now, you'd probably end up making out on the back of his car, and then texting each other the whole night long. You wanted to leave alone and go home to think it all through - but you knew Ashton was right. You couldn't leave alone when you had no idea where you were to begin with. "Fine", you huffed, walking off with him.
  • Michael: The dinner was mostly Michael eye fucking you and you avoiding his gaze. Yet, you were lucky enough to be told by your mom that you had to wash the dishes. And, obviously, Michael volunteered to help you. "So, (Y/N)", he said, putting a few plates on the sink, "Do you plan on getting on detention again tomorrow?". "Will you please just shut up?", you pleaded angrily. "Why do you keep ignoring your feelings towards me?", he chuckled, pressing his chest against your back, taking your hair in his hand and putting it all on one side of your shoulder. He started pressing a few kisses on your neck, rising to your earlobe. "We both know I turn you on", he nibbled on your earlobe, hands moving downwards on your body. "Michael", you said sternly, "Stop". "Are you sure you want me to stop?", he pressed a few more kisses to your neck - making sure to leave some marks. "Yes, Michael. Stop", you abruptly turned around. You hadn't quite calculated how close to him you would be when you turned - and it was very close. "Okay", he said, towering you and leaning down. The next think you know, you're sitting on the kitchen stand, Michael standing in between your legs. "I fucking hate you", you said in between kisses, tugging harshly at his hair. "I hate you more, princess", he smirked, pulling your hair a little at it's ends. "(Y/N), are you done yet?", you heard your mother's voice before you could push Michael away. "Uh, I", you stuttered, whole face turning red. "Oh," your mom said, feeling just as awkward as you were, "I'll come back later, then". "Fuck you, Michael", you turned to look at his smirking face once your mom had closed the kitchen door. "Better yet, let me fuck you", he moved closer to you, putting his hands on your knee. "No, really. Fuck off", you pushed his chest. "Are you sure you want that?", he raised his eyebrows. In your head, you concluded that the damage was already done. So, you could enjoy his lips for a little longer. "Fuck it", you mumbled, pulling him closer by his shirt.
  • Calum: "Great show!", you greeted Calum after his band gig, pecking his lip. "You thought so? Thanks", he smiled at you, pinching your bum lightly. "Yeah, I really liked it," you wrapped your arms around his neck. "How about you give me a small treat for it, huh?", he smirked and you blushed lightly, "C'mon", he dragged you to a door - which you assumed that was the backstage. He shut the door and locked it, pressing you against it a second later. One of your hands was playing with his hair, the other pulling him closer to you. His hands made their way to your bum, and you jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist. You weren't sure when you and Calum had gotten so intimate - that's 'cause you haven't. You wanted to believe that you weren't just another random girl for him. You wanted to believe you were different. But, you knew better than that. You knew that it would only be a matter of time before he was making out with another girl backstage after one of his gigs. Yet, why couldn't you let go of him? Spare the pain your heart was going to feel later. If you knew he was no good and you were nothing to him, why couldn't you just tell him to fuck off and walk back home? Because you wanted to be with him. You loved the way he kissed you; talked to you; touched you. You tried to shrug off the fact that you meant nothing to him when he meant so much to you. You tried to create an illusion that you were different to him, and he was falling for you just as hard as you were falling for him. But, you knew that if you created that, you would be even more heartbroken when it was over. So, you got it into your mind that you were nothing to him and that it would eventually end. "So, do you want to go back to my place or should I drive you home?", he broke the kiss. You knew what the right answer was. You knew, and it was on the tip of your tongue. It's now, you thought to yourself, spare the pain you're going to feel later - end this now. "No. I mean, we can go back to your place", you said.

plots made while guiltily streaming fifth harmony's new album, reflection.

going nowhere—"where you going, where you tryna go,baby?"

muse a and muse b have been in a relationship for total of four years. they seem to have it all together-they hardly even argue, they talk things out, they compromise, they have this undying love towards each other. that is, in public. behind closed doors it’s nothing but tension and arguments. muse b has found out muse a has been playing around behind their back, and they’ve laid down an ultimatum-either get themselves together or get out of their life. muse a is having a hard time choosing which greatly upsets muse b and causes some arguments, and muse b thinks they’re gonna stay, but they can’t be sure.

brave honest beautiful—"you got a smile worth fighting for."

muse a is muse b’s role model. muse a may not be the most attractive person around, but they’re confident, smart, and have a great since of humor. they can’t dance at all, but you can bet they’re the first person on the dance floor at any party. muse b only wishes they had half the confidence muse a did, and has been admiring them from afar for a while, but can’t muster up any courage to talk to them. one day at a party while muse b is trying to blend in with the wallpaper, muse a saunters up and strikes up a conversation. muse b can’t believe its even happening, but muse a starts hanging around them constantly and is calling them all the time. cue a beautiful friendship, and possibly the start of new romance?

sledgehammer—"but every minute that i’m with you, i feel the fever and i won’t lie."

 muse a and muse b have been flirting at the diner muse b works at for over a month now. muse b knows what muse a always wants and sometimes throws in something extra they think they would like. sometimes after muse a gets off work they stumble in the diner around closing time and shares a meal with muse b ( splitting a burger, fries and a chocolate shake every time ). one day muse a reveals that they’ve just broken up with their significant other because they’ve had some intense feelings for somebody else- that being muse b. so they start dating, but find that despite their flirting, they’re completely different people and it’s hard for them to make things work. but the feelings are still intense and they don’t want to let go of each other.

this is how we roll—"can't stay in the house cause the party don't end!"

 muse a and muse b are complete party animals. don’t ever ask if they have a free weekend because the answer will usually be no-they have parties to crash and clubs to attend. usual weekends for them include going clubbing friday night, hanging out with friends on saturday while getting way too drunk, and back into the club on sunday before getting serious for the week. they meet at a club one on sunday and get a little wild with each other that night that has them in the same bed by morning. lo and behold-muse b is actually muse a’s straightlaced boss who muse a thinks is completely evil. that makes for an awkward morning at work.

everlasting love—"my ever- everlasting love, and i'm never ever giving up 'til you're laying next to me."

it may sound silly, but muse a has had a huge crush on muse b since kindergarten, but have never had the courage to speak up, or have always been a little too late to confess. they’ve watched muse b grow up, go through relationships that haven’t worked, and regardless of the fact that muse a knows they aren’t muse b’s “type”, they’ve always held out a hope that one day they would get together. after seeing muse b have nasty public breakup and start spiraling out of control, muse a steps up to comfort them and help them get back on track-and just maybe get muse b to fall in love with them.

like mariah—"your loving takes me higher, you set my heart on fire, when you touch by body got me singing like mariah."

meeting up by pure accident, muse a and muse b end up sleeping together after a pretty strange night. they actually know each other (vaguely), but have never seen each other in a sexual light. but after that night (and morning) can’t seem to see each other in any other way. despite the fact that they’re from completely different circles and if people found out it would get seriously nasty, they secretly keep meeting up for a quick hook ups and small dates. 

reflection—"boy, i ain't talkin' about you, i'm talking to my own reflection."

 muse a is a player, no jokes about it. they jump from this person to the next without a second thoughts. muse b had been the faithful partner of two years, and knew that muse a had been cheating on them with multiple people. after not being able to deal with halfhearted apologies of never cheating again, they break up with muse a and focus on themselves. fast forward a year later-muse a is still up to their old ways, but muse b has turned themselves around. they’ve gotten a brand new look that has dates chasing after them, and are doing good loving themselves these days. muse a, after recognizing them on the street, wants to get back together with them, but muse b doesn’t have the time for them anymore. but muse a is determined to get their old partner back-even if it means changing everything about themselves.

So I’m loving every theory involving 57 and aliens and shit. Keep it up, guys!

But I’ve been thinking about this little Epsilon prediction since last season, so I gotta call it!

Under the cut for some pretty heavy spoilers and speculation

Keep reading

Unintended Chapter 5

5- ROOF TILES AND PIANO 

summary: Foreston Academy was the very last resort for angry, lonely Dan Howell. He never could have imagined meeting anyone like Phil Lester, and Phil never could have known that befriending his new roommate would change his life entirely.

Is there such a thing as being too forgiving?

betas: comefeedmyobsession and kaleidanscope

wc: ~5.5k THAT’S LITERALLY LONGER THAN MOST OF MY NORMAL PHANFICS WHY

warnings: bad chapter name i mean wow zelda couldn’t u think of anything better than ‘roof tiles and piano’ smh

Dan curled up against the wall, the drummers in his head banging harder and harder, the agony splitting his skull as his red eyes blurred with tears.

Maybe it would hurt less if he stopped crying. But Dan couldn’t stop crying.

Four days. That was a new record for him. One of them wasn’t even a schoolday.

He didn’t know what to do- the world around him had seemed to start imploding, wave upon wave of horrible flashbacks and thoughts and sickening fears overwhelming him until he felt his head could burst with the pain.

 

‘We’re putting Buttercup down,’ he hissed, sharp Southern accent cold and emotionless.

'Please. Father, please, no,’ Dan is on the floor before him, face screwed up and red and his knees on the cold marble floor.

'Perhaps you should learn that there will be consequences to your atrocious behaviour in the future, Daniel!’

'Please, Father! Please!’ His voice is just a choked sob now, because he is breaking- his only friend- he can’t- he wouldn’t-

'She’s not done anything!’

'But you have. And you need to learn.

Besides… I never liked that damn dog anyway.’

 

Dan saw two long black-clad legs walk past him and sit on the bed. Two minutes later they were up again. And then Phil was pacing.

Dan wondered if the sound of his desperate sobbing was annoying Phil, and started to feel sorry that he had woken him up last night to see him in this pathetic state.

'I’m sorry,’ he managed to choke out. His vision was too blurred to see legs too clearly, and his viewpoint too low to see anything above the boy’s waist, but he saw Phil stop pacing and turn to face him.

And then Phil was crouching level with him a few metres back, and Dan could see the blue shining eyes beneath the blurry splash of black that defined the top of his head.

'You should be,’ Phil said slowly, and then sighed as Dan dissolved into fresh sobs, body shaking with fear.

Phil didn’t really understand- Dan had beaten people up before- and he didn’t enjoy it as such, but it made him feel good. It was the only way he could ever get any control or respect, and commanding an audience of people as large as there was today made him feel as though he was actually of some importance- for once not clutching at loose footholds that let him slide helplessly down the cliff face when they crumbled- for once, he was not the useless one, the unimportant one, the pathetic one.

So he wasn’t sorry for that.

He also wasn’t sorry for the way he had behaved at the school. The teachers had dragged him off, and told him that he was disrespecting the long and gracious history of the school. This school is here to understand you, they had said. This school is here to help you and let you be who you truly are, they had said. But Dan didn’t want to be who he truly was. Dan despised the person he was. So he wasn’t sorry about that.

He had treated Phil like shit, he knew. He understood that the boy was a genuinely nice person, and although he wasn’t fully clear why Phil had tried to be his friend even after Dan had made it clear that they weren’t to associate, Phil had changed things the night he took Dan down to Firespot. Phil had put the idea into Dan’s mind that perhaps he could be happy with these sorts of people. Perhaps even that he could not be considered pathetic.

The following day had shown that that couldn’t be the case. And so Dan wasn’t sorry about how he had treated Phil.

Much.

He was crying now, horrific sobs crumpling his body in pain and causing him to gasp and snort and all the other vile noises that you make when you’re breaking inside, and Phil looked uncomfortable, and Dan just wished he would leave. He wished Phil hadn’t heard him last night, and he wished he had just told Phil to go back to bed, and he wished he had just kept himself where he belonged- nowhere near someone like Phil. Because now he was stuck in this confusing mess and Phil wasn’t leaving the room and yes, he was sorry that Phil had to listen to his sorrow.

But really, this situation was all Dan’s fault. Dan knew that he was wrong. Dan knew that he had acted like a dickhead. And Dan knew that he had acted irresponsibly. And most of all Dan knew he had acted cruelly. What he had done to Chris had been wholly unnecessary. Having woken up to the horror of another boy lying so close to him, he had exploded at the sight of Chris and PJ acting so intimately as he entered the canteen, and the situation had spiralled so out of control that here he was now, the school a short conversation away from ringing his parents.

And when they did that, his life would be over.

His punishments had gotten worse and worse over the years as he consistently broke the rules, but Dan genuinely couldn’t think of anything else they could take from him.

Dan had nothing else he cared about any more. And so the sickening tarry pit of fear in his stomach was not because of any of these things.

It was because he knew that when his parents found out, they really would hate him.

And for that, Dan hated himself. Dan had hated himself for quite a long time now.

'Dan.’

Dan owed it to Phil to reply, so he choked back his next sob with an ugly squeak and, still staring down at the carpet, replied, ‘I’m sorry, Phil. I’m so sorry.’

'So, what’s happening?’ Phil asked awkwardly. Dan could see that Phil was still furiously angry. But it was like he was programmed to be almost unbearably nice and kind, and so just couldn’t let Dan sob his heart out without at least trying to do something. Which used to infuriate Dan. Now it just made him realise even more how horrible and useless a human he was. ‘Are you going to get excluded?’

'What makes you assume that?’

'You seem devastated. And from what I’ve seen of you so far, you wouldn’t be this cut up about hurting Chris.’ There was an awkward pause as Phil watched Dan dissolve back into self-loathing. 'I’m sorry. That was harsh.’

Phil’s voice was wooden and Dan just looked away.

'I do care,’ he whispered.

'I know you do,’ Phil replied gently, and they both knew that he was lying. 'Do you want a tea?’

Dan twisted around so he was looking up at Phil angrily. ‘Alot of fucking good a tea is gonna do me right now!’ He shouted, voice cracking on the words.

'I was just trying to be nice!’ Phil almost-shouted back, 'I don’t have to do anything for you! I shouldn’t even be speaking to you, after what you did to one of my best friends!’

'Then don’t!’

For a second it looked like Phil was going to storm out again, but something in his expression changed and he stopped still, every muscle tensed up. ‘Why are you like this, Dan?’

Dan clawed his way up the wall so he was face-to-face with Phil, their noses inches apart. ‘Why am I like what?’ He spat.

Phil didn’t answer, simply glaring hard at Dan, Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat, and Dan could see every little imperfection on his face and every colour in his eyes- turns out they were not completely sky-blue as he had thought, but rather an ocean of different colours that swam around with expression and emotion, lit bright from behind by all the care that Phil put into everything and everyone, and the passion with which he stared back into Dan’s eyes now.

'You don’t understand anything,’ Dan hissed. 'You’ve had such an easy life. You’ve gone to one school, you’ve had friends and classes and you’ve behaved and you had parents that gave a shit about you and-‘

He choked off and looked away, glaring down at his feet, furious at himself for giving Phil so much of himself, before quickly treading as hard as he was able on Phil’s foot and running out of the room as fast as possible.

***

 

'Mate, don’t worry about me. I’m Northern. Made of some tough stuff!’

'I’m from up north aswell!’ laughed Phil, 'but I wouldn’t be overly chuffed with a broken leg!’

'Well, I’m not saying I’m happy about it,’ Chris said, rolling his eyes,'but y'know, it’s not actually broken…and it’s quite soothing in here after having to share a room with Peej snoring his head off!’

'Oi! Watch it! You may be an invalid but it doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you!’

'Ooh, I’d like to see you try!’

PJ raised his eyebrows. ‘Make me.’

'God guys,’ Phil moaned, 'do you want me to leave you to it!?’

'Mmm, please,’ giggled Chris as his painkillers came into effect and his head dropped onto the pillow, 'you might not wanna be here when Chris and I,’ he yawned, eyes screwed up with sudden tiredness, 'get frisky!’

'I might go back anyway,’ Phil said, turning to PJ (who was making gagging motions in response to Chris’ comment) as Chris drifted off, 'time’s ticking on.’

'I think I’ll stay in the hospital wing a little longer with him,’ PJ replied, nodding. 'You seen Dan?’ Phil nodded affirmation, 'he deserves to get kicked out for this. Actually, he should be getting police attention. He’s insane.’

'He’s screwed up, Peej.’

'What do you mean?’

'I think his life’s been a mess. I keep getting little hints off him before he clams up. Something… There’s something wrong.’

'A tragic history may explain a crime but it doesn’t excuse it.’

'Where did you get that pearl of wisdom from?’

'Dunno. Can you stick a cup under that leak when you leave? The rain’s getting in. Would have thought the hospital wing would have slightly better roofing, if I’m honest.’

 

Phil turned round quickly as he left, and he could have sworn that PJ was holding Chris’ sleeping hand.

 

***

 

It was raining outside and Dan was just in a black tshirt and jeans. Atleast his dark attire would mean he was less likely to be spotted outside out-of-hours, he thought.

Not that he could really get into much more trouble than he was already in.

His hair was already plastered to his head, rain running down his face in icy rivulets and merging with his stinging hot tears.

He reached up to brush away the water in his eyes but his arm was just as wet as the rest of him and the gesture was pointless and he was trembling with cold and fear and his mouth was dry and his head was splitting in half and half again.

By the time he reached the clearing in the trees that contained the dead embers of Monday’s bonfire, he didn’t realise that his feet had taken him all the way to Firespot.

His clothes were all plastered to his body and his hair drooped pathetically over his face.

As he approached the edge of the clearing again, he automatically gravitated towards the spot he had sat with Phil only two nights ago, curling up on the sodden wood and breathing in the smell of the rain and the damp leaves and mud and tree bark.

 

***

 

When Phil reached his happy place, he almost jumped out of his skin.

There was somebody there already.

 

After leaving the hospital wing Phil had realised he wasn’t ready to go back to the room, so after borrowing PJ’s waterproof mac and cuddling up in it, he had headed outside into the building storm.

Now his fingers were numb with cold and his face spattered with rain, but he felt calmer and less confined. He had been looking forward to arriving at his beloved Firespot and being able to sit down, completely alone with his own thoughts, to mull over how he felt about everything.

And yet, there was somebody there.

Phil crept over, feet squelching in the mud, and realised before he got to him that curled up on the seat was the defeated figure of Dan. Of course it was. Of course it was.

Phil walked away from the place that made him happiest.

Just at that moment, he couldn’t deal with it all.



***

‘Dude you’ve been playing the piano for over an hour and it’s now 3am so I just came to tell you to shut the fuck up.’

Dan spun round to see Chris limp out of the shadows behind him, face and hair partially veiled in blackness.

‘How did you even hear me?’

‘The hospital wing is directly above the music suites, and seeing as my leg is in fucking agony, it may not surprise you to know I’ve had some difficulty sleeping. Basically, the dorms are at the other side of the building, but the hospital wing is conveniently placed over here. Peej is still asleep because he’s a heavy sleeper. Also… I’m not sure how many loons frequently play music at such obscene hours in the morning.’

Dan looked away, trying to hold back the tears. Of course it would be Chris to come and find him. Of all of the hundreds of pupils in this school, of course it had to be Chris.

‘What the fuck is going on with you?’ Chris approached him slowly, carefully, as though he was a bomb that could explode any second. Dan guessed after all that was exactly what he was. A thing to be feared. Unpredicatble, uncontrollable, and hated by everyone.

He didn’t wipe the salty tears away quick enough for Chris not to see.

‘How long have you been like this?’

‘Like what?’ Dan’s hands were still resting on the cold ivory keys- the one single place he felt he was capable of expressing himself.

‘Like…’ Chris waved his arms around as he tried to articulate his thoughts, ‘Like… Well, so… Hating everybody… The people who want to give a damn about you…

‘So… Stupid…’

This angered Dan. ‘Stupid? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? How am I stupid?’ Dan had no redeeming qualities- he knew that- he was a fuck-up in every way, a by-product, good at nothing… But he was sure that he wasn’t stupid. Intelligent- not overly. But not an idiot. After all, he was able to see his own flaws- wasn’t that a thing that made you smart?

‘Yeah, you’re stupid. You’re a goddamn idiot, Dan. Phil… And Peej, and even me, we wanted to help you. We decided to be your friend, and you were a wanker. And then guess what? Phil still took you down to Firespot, and you did it again. Infact, then you decided to out-do yourself. Really,’ he guestured down at his crippled form, and Dan wondered how much he hurt. Probably not as much as Dan himself. ‘You’re stupid because you think David’s crew are where you belong. You’re stupid because you think they actually give a shit about you-’

‘No.’

‘What do you mean, no?’

‘I mean, no. You’re wrong. David and his gang don’t give a shit about me, and I do know that. Nobody gives a shit about me. You have to understand. I accept that. If I wasn’t me, I would hate me too. No, no, I do hate me.’

‘Oh shut up with your self-pitying crap, Dan,’ if Chris had been less exhausted and in agony and if Dan hadn’t been the reason for both of those things, perhaps Chris would have been gentler. But Chris was a good person, and he was pissed off with Dan. ‘We tried. Phil tried so fucking hard. And you still think we didn’t give a shit about you?’

‘You don’t after what I did,’ sighed Dan, staring at his hands, still resting on the piano keys.

‘That wasn’t the question!’ Chris flared up, voice an angry loud-whisper. ‘You’re making all of this about self-pity! If you had stopped being such a wuss, you could have just told those guys to shove off. And then you wouldn’t be in this state!’

‘But I couldn’t. I didn’t. You’re right- I am pathetic.’

Chris allowed himself just a second to howl into his hand in frustration. The darkness in the room filled out between them.

Dan broke the silence that followed with a soft, sad note on the piano, followed by another, followed by another. As he begun to spin the threads of a melody, he looked up at Chris, who slowly nodded his head in silence.

Soon, Chris was sucked in by a gentle, soothing flow of music, the notes swirling around him and taking over all of his anger and frustration, letting it leak out like a poison as he sunk into the tune.

‘What’s that?’ Chris asked when he finished, letting out a deep breath he didn’t know he had been holding in.

‘Uh, it’s called “Dearly Beloved”, from the game Kingdom Hearts? It was kinda like a shittier version of Final Fantasy. But the music was good.’

‘Mhm,’ Chris said, nodding his head as he he looked over at Dan slowly. ‘You’re not okay, are you?’

Dan stared down at they piano, and a glistening tear fell onto one of the keys.

‘I’m going to get Phil. You need to talk to him.’

Dan leapt up and grabbed Chris’ arm. ‘No! Please, no! He hates me.’

Chris rolled his eyes. ‘We both have reason to hate you, dude. And I’m helping you.’

Dan’s voice was low and confused. ‘Why?’

‘Because you need help.’

‘I don’t.’ His voice was now almost inaudible.

‘You’re a mess. And it’s not me you need.I know you need Phil. I can see it every time you look at him.’

As Chris started to stride towards the door of the music suite, Dan dropped onto his knees, eyes once again filling with tears.

***

‘Dan?’ Phil’s voice was soft over the sound of the breeze and the night and the shushing of the stars, because that’s what the silvery night does- it make you feel like you need to be quiet. ‘Dan? Are you up here?’

Phil looked around, head filling with hundreds of panicky situations and reasons why he could fall to his death any moment, and his feet were rooted to the spot, slate tiles slanted scarily beneath him and reflecting the moon’s silver with the rain of the night, his feet six floors further off the ground than he would have liked them to be.

And then at the other side of the sloped roof, Phil saw the silhouette of a boy stretched languidly out under the stars, hair being played with by the wind and skin being tickled by the moonlight.

Phil closed his eyes and took a deep breath, placing one foot forward and then when he felt safe enough, another.

Chris had followed Dan up here. He had said the boy needed Phil.

After everything, was Phil willing to give up his time for this boy? Certainly not his life, right?

Of course he was. Dan needed his help. And who would Phil be if he denied his help to someone?

And then the moon drifted slowly behind a grey cloud.

The darkness was all-consuming, and so was the absolute fear that gripped at Phil’s heart.

The sole of his shoe didn’t have enough grip to hold him in place as his arms flailed and black hair flashed in the wind, and he let out an earsplitting scream as he slid backwards across the tiles-

‘I’ve got you- I’ve got you! It’s okay. Shhh, Phil, Phil, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-

Phil’s breathing was rapid and horrified and brain haywire as he started to grasp the fact that he had almost fallen to his death.

His eyes travelled up the one outstretched arm that was holding him stable on the slippery slate tiles, past his forearm, still in PJ’s rented raincoat, his pale trembling arm, clasped in another-

‘Give me your other hand,’ Dan whispered to him, ‘I can’t hold you up for much longer.’

Numbly, head still mostly uncomprehending, Phil pressed his hand into Dan’s freezing cold one, and slowly, the two of them started to steady themselves on the roof.

Phil was trembling all over. He hated heights as it was, and his near-fall had completely shaken him up. He didn’t want to be here. With Dan, who didn’t care about anyone-

Dan; who had saved his life.

‘Don’t thank me or anything,’ Dan whispered, after realising that Phil was much to scared to release his unrelenting grasp on Dan’s hands, ‘It’s my own idiot fault that you’re up here in the first place, I, I, I almost killed you.’

Phil still didn’t say anything.

‘This is all my fault. All you wanted to do was help me. Chris explained. I mean, I guess I knew that, really. I’m not that stupid. I think.’ He paused, cocking a head on one side, as though wondering just how much Phil was listening. Admittedly, the answer was not much. ‘But please, Phil. I don’t know if I can… Be normal. But we like the same music and books and food and oh my god, Firespot, and I don’t know, I just, I know I don’t deserve it, and you can say no and, I just, could you… Give me a second chance? I mean, I know I don’t deserve it, I know, and… Yeah…’

Fleetingly, the thought crossed Phil’s mind how easy it would be to shut Dan up by pressing his own warm lips to Dan’s, to hold his cheeks, flushed with the cold night air, and to let go of his hands just to tangle them in his dark hair.

When Phil caught himself, he had to take in a deep breath of the cold September air.

Delirious with fear… Shock… Gratitude… Or something. Right?

‘Are you okay just to walk down here a little?’ Dan asked, motioning with his head (Phil still had his hands tightly clasped in his own) towards Dan’s spot a little further down the roof. It wasn’t far, but… Dan wanted Phil with him.

If he was going to do this, he was going to do it here. Dan didn’t know why, but the cold roof and the dark damp night air and the isolation of the height calmed Dan. For some reason, Dan was able to think up here.

He had found the way up onto the roof completely by accident. After Chris had left the music room, Dan had realised he needed to flee before he came back with Phil, and so he had run as far and as madly as he was able in the opposite direction from the dorms.

The corridor that lead to the stairs that lead to another corridor which lead to a tiny hidden doorway which lead to the balcony which lead to the roof was clearly not meant to be found by students, so Dan had known he wouldn’t be disturbed.

He hadn’t counted on Chris following him.

But for some reason, when Dan had seen Phil stumble out onto the roof, things had become clearer in his head; he knew that he had to stay at Foreston; he knew that he had to stay with Phil, with Chris, with the ‘misfits’ of Firespot. For the first time, Dan realised that it might not be a terribly bad thing to not fit in perfectly. In fact, he wondered if trying to fit in was where he had been going wrong all along.

And so he had resolved himself to tell Phil. Tell Phil everything, if he wanted to hear it.

And Phil was here, and now they were sat with their legs hanging over the edge of the roof, hands intertwined and hair blowing lightly in the breeze, and Phil’s blue eyes fixed on his own brown ones, and Dan tried as hard as he could.

‘I’m not going to ever try and excuse anything I do,’ He said as he watched Phil’s and his own legs swing back and forwards together in time, the dark gardens of the school far below their feet, ‘But you said you wanted to know what was wrong. And… I guess I was terrified of making my parents hate me. Well, I mean, I think they already do, but…’

For a second it looked like Phil was about to interrupt, so Dan looked up at him in earnest, begging the midnight-haired boy not to stop him.

‘I’m kinda just in the way all the time. Like, I don’t have any siblings or anything, and I never had any friends round either, unless my mum tried to force me. But I wasn’t all that good at making friends… I don’t know, it all sounds so stupid! I’m just a dickhead, I just-’

‘Dan,’ Phil’s hand gently squeezed his own and then he let go, wrapping his arm around Dan’s waist.

Automatically, Dan leant into him.

‘Have I done too much to be forgiven?’

‘I don’t know. You sprained Chris’ leg. Or something, I’m not sure. He’s not gonna be able to walk properly for a few weeks, so he’s not best pleased, I’ll give you that. I just… I want to like you, Dan. A lot of the time, I do. I want this to not be you, to not be your fault…’

‘But it is.’

‘But it is.’

Dan pressed his face hard into his hands before scraping his fingers back over his scalp and through his tangled, windswept hair.

‘Please don’t hate me,’

‘I don’t hate you, Dan!’ For some reason, Phil looked genuinely shocked, even a little angry, ‘We’re going around in circles here! If I hated you, would I be here? I want you to be you, the real Dan that I know is inside there, the one that sings his lungs out to Muse, and the one that wants to be a good person and do something with his life, and the one that runs across a steep wet roof because he thinks his friend is going to fall off-’

‘Anyone would have done that.’

‘No they wouldn’t.’

‘I don’t deserve another chance.’

‘If you keep saying that, I am going to get so annoyed that I might just swandive off this roof of my own accord.’ Phil growled in reply.

The rain had stopped by then but the night was still thick with the memory of it; the roof tiles slick and shiny and the leaves on the trees heavy and dripping and Dan’s hair damp and curling.

And the night’s storm had left its legacy on the morning with the thick black clouds that filled the sky, the heavy silent night pressing down all around them, not uncomfortably so, but overwhelmingly, deafeningly silent. The blackness was oppressing and inky, torn apart only by the golden glow of streetlights far away towards the road, and the tiny pinpricks of light that dotted the Foreston gardens.

It was now that hour where everything is dead: infact, it was no longer even night, but the miserable time of morning where the only people that were awake in England were the ones sailing their lorries down the motorway in the black, eyes drooping and misty with lack of sleep and radio station turned up loud with garish club remixes to try and keep them awake. Back at Foreston, Dan talked. He spoke in a low voice that barely even classified as a whisper, his tone raw and his speech filled with constant pauses to take rasping breaths. He tried to keep those breaths as quiet as possible, as so not to break the thick darkness around them, and he started to tell Phil everything.

He even told Phil about how he had been expelled from his previous two schools- the posh, private boarding schools that had thrown him out after he got too out of control. The threat his dad made to him the night before he left for Foreston Academy- if he got expelled again, he would be sent off to a behavioural camp.

Dan told Phil how his father was always true to his word.

Phil had a raincoat on, dark and crinkly and shiny with wet, and Dan pressed his side into it, the material transferring all the rainwater straight onto his jumper, causing him to shiver as it soaked right through. Dan had been drenched earlier in the night after his stupid venture into the woods, but he had seized the oppurtunity to dry himself off and change when he noticed the room was empty.

But he didn’t regret cuddling up to Phil, because as he continued to talk, and the black-haired boy listened in perfect silence, he felt a hand tentatively wind itself in his.

And when Dan looked up into Phil’s face, the boy gave him a look as if to say ‘Is this okay?’

And Dan tried to give him a look back that adequately conveyed the message, ‘yes, yes. All the yes’s in the world, yes.’

 

Eventually, Dan’s story was over, and he was overwhelmed with a guilt and embarrassment for having talked solely about himself for so long. But Phil gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

Dan placed his hand on the cool tile beside him to steady himself, and almost overbalanced as it slipped in a puddle.

Phil caught him in under one arm, eyes wide.

And so, for some strange reason that Dan couldn’t quite comprehend, but which filled his heart with warmth and hope nonetheless, Phil sat there on the edge of the roof with him for the rest of the night as Dan told him all about his pitiful life and shortcomings and failings, and then Phil told Dan about his dreams and aspirations, and Dan slowly started to unfurl, telling Phil more and more about himself, until he finally reached the point where he felt the boy knew him better than anyone else ever had.

And when they sat there in silence to watch the sun rise, Dan put his head on Phil’s lap not because he was cold, but simply because he wanted to listen to the slow beat of his heart, and melt into the soft comfort of his enveloping arms.

6. headphone sharing - masterpost

 

a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 8)
  • "I wish I was your cigarette."
  • "I can't count the things that I wanna do to you."
  • "I can't even say what you're putting me through every night."
  • "You're leaving town for a long time."
  • "You don't have to die alone tonight."
  • "I'll make a living telling people what they want to hear."
  • "It's not a perfect plan, but it's the one we've got."
  • "Take me to your best friend's house."
  • "I loved you then and I love you now."
  • "Let's stay up all night."
  • "Love’s a fucking bitch."
  • "I really feel that I'm losing my best friend."
  • "I can't believe this could be the end."
  • "It looks as though you're letting go."
  • "I don't need your reasons."
  • "You wanna argue all day, make love all night."
  • "You're overprotective when I'm leaving."
  • "You had me from the start, won't let this end."
  • "I usually love sleeping all alone."
  • "She's just happy that the crew's back in town."
  • "I wanna be in the game."
  • "I wanna know your middle name."
  • "Right now, you're killing the game."
  • "Everybody's gonna go big tonight."
  • "I'm stupid - I'm staying."
  • "You're my drug."
  • "You're drunk, you need it."
  • "We're bound to linger on."
  • "You wasted your time on my heart."
  • "You're gone... come back."
  • "Stay gone, stay clean."
  • "I need you to need me."
  • "Don't stop imagining. The day that you do is the day that you die."
  • "We were all having fun."
  • "Thought I'd never fall in love, then there was you."
  • "One look and just one touch, and I knew she was the girl for me."
  • "I never met a girl like you that makes me want to settle down."
  • "I don't want to be a player no more."
  • "I'm already taken."
  • "I've seen your eyes before."
  • "I don't want anything more."
  • "I remember you, and all the things that we have planned."
  • "I will come back for you."
  • "He and I had something beautiful, but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last."
  • "I loved him so but I let him go 'cause I knew he'd never love me back."
  • "I am healing, but it's taking so long."
  • "He's gone and you are wonderful, it's hard to move on."
  • "I'm better near to you."
  • "You and I have something different and I'm enjoying it cautiously."
  • "I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard to get back to who I used to be."
  • "I'm so close to being yours."
  • "I only know that I belong where you are."
  • "I like you a lot, think you're really hot."
  • "Let's go see The Killers and make out in the bleachers."
  • "I'm not loose, I like to party."
  • "I like boys and that is that."
  • "Watch your heart when we're together, boys like you love me forever."
  • "I'm not scared of love."
  • "You make me strong."
  • "Think of how much love that's been wasted, people always trying to escape it."
  • "There's nothing I'm running from."
  • "Do it again, again and again."
  • "Say my name, say my name, say my stupid name."
  • "It's stupid how we always seem to do it again."
  • "You're so stupid and perfect, I hate you, I want you."
  • "Friends, lovers, or nothing; we can really only ever be one."
  • "Anything less than 'I love you' is lying."
  • "I let my true love die."
  • "I had his heart but I broke it every time."
  • "You're not exactly the guy I can bring home to my mama, but what she don't know won't hurt her."
  • "You get under my skin, such a sweet sin."
  • "They say you don't deserve me, but it really don't disturb me."
  • "Why do all good girls like the bad boys?"
  • "Tell me why the dark side just captures my eye."
  • "I know that you're a villain but I can't stop this feeling."
  • "You're cocky and its working."
  • "You know how much you want him."
  • "You're constantly just denying."
  • "He's just another girl addict."
  • "He's dirty to the bone, beware of the dog."
  • "I got into trouble with him, I got in a bubble with him."
  • "It feels like heaven when I kiss the devil."
  • "She don't want to be saved."
  • "It's all about the two of us."
  • "A one night stand just ain't enough."
  • "There goes my baby."
  • "You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls."
  • "You're my number one, baby, and you come to rock my world."
  • "A little conversation goes a long, long way."
  • "You've gotta a lot of nerve coming here."
  • "I can't have you, it isn't fair."
  • "He never really saw me."
  • "I wanna break your heart, I wanna let you know what it's like to be so dicked around and miserable."
  • "You spit me out then leave me; do I make it so easy?"
  • "How long 'till I breathe again?"
  • "I cry on curbs by your apartment."
  • "I can't seem to walk away."
  • "I can't make you feel this way."
  • "Make up your mind, don't you want me?"
  • "I just want you, do you want me?"
  • "One day, I'm gonna find a way to make you stay in my arms."
  • "I hope my smile can distract you."
  • "I hope my fists can fight for two."
  • "I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared, but no one would listen 'cause no one else cared."
  • "Every song I hear on the radio will always be about you."
  • "You're a galaxy away, you're off somewhere in outer space."
  • "I'm stupid enough to wait for what's impossible."
  • "I love you, but my heart's an idiot."
  • "Why love you? You will never love me, too, and I'll end up broken."
  • "If I have to, I will wait."
  • "You're probably on your flight back to your home town."
  • "Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?"
  • "I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine." "Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to, 'cause I want to hold yours, too."
  • "We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds."
  • "I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you."
  • "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life."
  • "It's time to be a big girl now and big girls don't cry."
  • baby: i- i- i-
  • mother: Your first word? What are you trying to say?
  • baby: It's the summer of 2001, Joe meets Patrick and he's like "Yo, I know about music" and Patrick's like "Yo, I know more about music" "That's impossible. Do You wanna start a band?" And Patrick's like "Yeah... that's cool." And then he's like "Yo, this is a book store it's not a music store!" And then they met at Patrick's house. And Patrick's wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin' drums for some fuckin' reason! And Pete's there, for some reason! They start playin' music together. And they're like "Oh let's play some fuckin' covers from some other bands!" It was like, Green day and fuckin' Misfits and fuckin' Ramones! Pete said to Joe "Yo we gotta change this shit up! Yo we've played all these bands, let's play shit from Fall Out Boy." And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope. But we need a fuckin' drummer!" Because Patrick's playin' drums and he's a singer! And he's like "Yo! I got a soul voice!" And there like "Wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!" And he's like "Yo watch this! YEeeeeEeeeeEeeaaaAAAH!" and they're like "Oh my God! That sounds like soul!" So they put it in the song and it was like "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!?!!!?!" And then they're like "Yo, this is fuckin' perfect. This is Fall Out Boy." And they made records like, Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend. It's called Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesent matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "Yo what the fuuuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin' dooooope!" So they made a record, and it was called Take This to Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like... Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto... The fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something. And they were like, "Yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin record it." And he did it, and he killed it. He was like, bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out! "We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. Cause these guys know what the fuck is going on." And they were like "Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard. We will sign you guys." Pete was like "Yo! We got this record that's fuckin' dope dude!! It's called, Take This to Your Grave." Hey, it's gonna be called from under the cork tree, its gonna be fuckin huge. And then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called... This is called Thanks for the Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar We're Going Down.." And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts. Like one, two, three! Three, two, one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE! From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records!!! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like "That's gooooooooood!" Pete was like "Yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!" Joe was like "Yeah its cool man, whatever... I don't give a shit." And then Andy was like "Eh... Cool!" And Pete was like "Makeup is fuckin' great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful." Pete was like "Oh my God I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic!" And then I saw the dick pic and I was like "Eh, it's not bad. It's not a bad dick. Let's be real." Panic! at the Disco made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like "Yo fuck you guys!" They were like "Yo! Panic has the cover of Rolling Stone!? Yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna go fucking miles above! We're gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!" But they didn't! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like "Oh shit we got every continent." And they didn't actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like "WHAT THE FUCK!" Oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent. It's like fuck you! So From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves it's so big! So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick's like "Yo were gonna name this record From Under the Cork Tree and from Infinity on High." Pete was like "Yo, Folie à Deux means, the theatric of two." Fall Out Boy was like "Yo, we gotta take a break" meaning, Pete was like "Yo, we gotta take a break bro" and Patrick's like, "I need time for my music! YAAAAAAHHHH!" And Joe's like "Yo, I need time to find the fuckin' art dude I gotta find some fuckin' meau-metal." And Andy's like "I'm just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands." And they were like, "Alright, this break's been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. We gotta fuckin' come back dude. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. It's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record... Save Rock And Roll." So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everyone's like "What the fuck? You're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and Pink!" Pete was like "Yo, we're gonna end up in tour with Panic! at the Disco and Twenty Pilots." And that's all. And that's all that matters. And that's how the fucking story goes.
4

This took a lot of soul searching to get up the courage to post.

Last November or so, I experienced one of the worst breakouts I’ve ever had in my entire life. I had no idea why it was brought on and I tried any possible way to fix it: diet change, exercise, you name it. I visited a dermatologist for the first time and then I was on medication and topicals like nobody’s business. The medication really didn’t help at all and the topical burned my skin and it just kept getting worse. 

The first two photos above were taken in December. They don’t even do it justice to show how bad and painful it really was. Even worse than the physical pain was the emotional toll, because it did absolutely nothing to help my already poor self image. I couldn’t even bother to form a half-positive thought in any way, shape, or form. When the breakouts still wouldn’t calm down I became even more desperate to stop whatever the hell was happening. I went in to see my actual doctor in early February, who recommended I try using birth control as a way to balance out my estrogen and progesterone levels. Apparently, my skin receptors are increasingly sensitive to testosterone and latch onto it very quickly (possibly a slight abnormal level of testosterone in my body), which causes the more frequent breakouts.

It actually started working. It took a little more time, but it did what the bloody dermatologist failed to do (god bless my real doctor). Slowly, it all started healing. It had scarred pretty heavily pre-birth control, but at least the breakouts were going away.

The lower left photo is me from last night, sans makeup and all ready for bed (Loki shirt and all). It’s been a little over three months and my face is probably as normal as it’s going to get, but it’s a million times better than what it was before. I think it could actually be considered a decent face now. The lower right was taken on my birthday, which is probably the best I’ve looked in a long while.

So, what is the point of all this? 

Well, for one, this is a shout-out to everyone out there who is struggling with/has struggled with severe acne. Believe me, my friends, I know first hand how awful it feels. It’s the biggest embarrassment I’ve suffered in a long time and I hope that I never have to go through it again. For those who are still fighting this crap, keep fighting it; experiment with food choice and exercise to see if you can get rid of it and if you can’t, go talk to your doctor. They know you best and they can tell you the best route to take. My dermatologist was an idiot and I should’ve gone to my doctor the first time–maybe I wouldn’t have so many scars left had I done so.

This post is also a bit of an overall message to myself and others who need it right now, because I think we all could use a little reminder: things get better. It takes a hell of a long time and it’ll feel like it’s dragging on, and you might gather a few scars along the way, but slowly, things will take a turn for the better. I don’t believe it myself most days because it’s still hard for me to have a decently positive thought in my head, so sometimes I just have to pause for a moment and look back on those photos. I can remember how bad it was and remind myself that no matter how shitty things might be right now, they could always be worse. There’s lots of things about me that still need fixing, but at least my face is one less thing I need to worry about.

Hang onto the future, guys. Things get better. 

a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 4)
  • "Nobody's gonna come and save you."
  • "We're going down, and you know that we're doomed."
  • "I was the one you always dreamed of."
  • "How dare you say it's nothing to me?"
  • "Baby, you're the only light I ever saw."
  • "You'll be a bitch because you can."
  • "Go cry about it why don't you?"
  • "But we get along when I'm inside you."
  • "Do you think about me still?"
  • "No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it."
  • "Since you think I don't love you, I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you."
  • "You know you were my first time."
  • "You're dead to me."
  • "I was walking away, but she's so beautiful it made me stay."
  • "Tell me that you feel this, and I won't give up."
  • "I never seen a man who looked so all alone, could you use a little company?"
  • "There ain't no rest for the wicked."
  • "Let me be the one who calls you 'baby' all the time."
  • "Surely you can take some comfort knowing that you're mine."
  • "Could stare at your face for the rest of my days."
  • "Why do you take it so far?"
  • "You seem to replace your brain with your heart."
  • "You take things so hard and then you fall apart."
  • "You're all on your own and you lost all your friends."
  • "Your heart's too big for your body."
  • "I know you better than anyone else."
  • "I've never loved one like you."
  • "Man, oh, man, you're my best friend."
  • "Ain't nothing please me more than you."
  • "Home is wherever I'm with you."
  • "I don't believe you when you say you want to leave."
  • "Aren't you going to miss me?"
  • "I just want to kiss you."
  • "You really seem like a prize to me, and you are so mysterious."
  • "How do you know me so well?"
  • "Don't you touch my boyfriend."
  • "Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today."
  • "This world is only gonna break your heart."
  • "Please, don't flatter yourself."
  • "I will admit, if you admit it, it's harder than we both thought."
  • "You can't deny the hardest part... I'm not in your arms."
  • "The world will never know we both have tasted tears, my dear."
  • "Don't act like it's okay."
  • "You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me."
  • "This thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up."
  • "Maybe I asked for too much."
  • "I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do."
  • "I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it."
  • "I know I'm not the best for you, but promise that you'll stay."
  • "These streets are filled with memories, both perfect and in pain."
  • "All I wanna do is love you, but I'm the only one to blame."
  • "I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well."
  • "We're not friends, nor have we ever been."
  • "We're not friends, we could be anything."
  • "Friends should sleep in other beds, and friends shouldn't kiss me like you do."
  • "Your negativity was killing me."
  • "I shouldn't love you, but I want to."
  • "I can't look away."
  • "I don't know how to make a feeling stop."
  • "I won't sit around, I can't let him win now."
  • "I've tried my best to let go of you, but I don't want to."
  • "It's getting hard to be around you."
  • "Do you want me to hide the feelings and look the other way?"
  • "Yeah he's a looker, but I really think it's guts that matter most."
  • "All I'm asking for is love, but you never seem to have enough."
  • "I wanna taste you one more time again." "I'm not over you."
  • "Why can't you just love me back?"
  • "You want your independence, but you won't let me let you go."
  • "I would wait a lifetime... I would wait for you."
  • "So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down."
  • "Everything could be everything if only we were older."
  • "I'd do anything to make you stay."
  • "Tell me what you want me to say."
  • "It's a conversation I just can't have tonight."
  • "You want a revelation, some kind of resolution."
  • "We’re fighting again, more than usual."
  • "I'm sorry about being me."
  • "Bring me a cat to be my best friend."
  • "It isn’t like you ever said that you were committed."
  • "I got him where I want him now."
  • "Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change."
  • "There's a million other girls who do it just like you, looking as innocent as possible to get to who they want and what they like, it's easy if you do it right."
  • "You're the nicest thing I've seen."
  • "I wish that we could give it a go... see if we could be something."
  • "I wish I was your favourite girl."
  • "You must try harder than kissing all of my friends."
  • "You're alive, at least as far as I can tell you are."
  • "It's not my fault that I fucked everybody here."
  • "We promise each other it's 'til the end."
  • "I say I don't love you, but you know I'm a liar."
  • "You work so hard to get me just to let me go."
  • "You put me in the spotlight just to steal the show."
  • "Why are we acting like lovers? We don't know each other."
  • "You're beautiful, but cause me pain."
  • "You played my heart like it's a game."
  • "And she's so pretty, and she's so sure."
  • "Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her."
  • "It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone."
  • "Maybe I'm a little bit over my head."
  • "We were all in love and we all got hurt."
  • "We're going way too fast."
  • "It's all too sweet to last."
  • "He's my first mistake."
  • "We gave each other up so easily."
  • "These silly little wounds will never mend."
  • "I feel so far from where I've been."
  • "Maybe you'll remember me."
  • "He's everything you want."
  • "He says all the right things at exactly the right time, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why."
  • "I'm tattooed and fired up and drunk and obscene."
  • "You ask for the truth, but you know you could do so much better."
  • "I love you, I swear it, I would never lie."
  • "I fear for our lives and I fear your closed eyes."
  • "How do I get you alone?"
  • "You don't know how long I have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight."
  • "I loved you before I ever knew you 'cause I loved the simple thought of you."
  • "There is nowhere else that I belong."
  • "I'm so damn scared of dying without you."
  • "Don't lie, I know we're fixing to die."
  • "I only came 'cause you asked me to."
  • "It's such a shame that we can't renew all those feelings that we shared back a month or two."
  • "I kept everything that reminds me of us."
  • "It sounds weird but your picture's still hung up."
  • "I'm not sleeping too well, now I'm sleeping alone."
Second Chance Part 3 - Requested (Ashton)

Hello, so you guys seemed to like the first two and i had a couple of requests for a part three from these lovely people independenthemmings 5sos-is-lifexoxo smalltownfavourites pernillemarkvart so thanks for that, if you havent read the other parts then do!! Part 1 and Part 2, ENJOY!!!!

You look up hearing the bell above the door ring and smile as soon as you see Ashton’s mop of curls, walking in followed by the others, he smiles giving you a small wave before sitting at a booth by the window. You notice Henry pick up a pen when he sees them.

‘I got this one’ you tell him as you pick up the pad and take the pen from his hand, he nods.

'Hey guys’ you smile at the four boys and they all smile up to you, Luke’s eye quickly falling back in his phone.

'Hello, how’s it going?’ Ashton asks.

'It’s good, I really like it’ you explain 'do you guys have much planned for today?’

'We gotta go work but that’s about all’ Calum tells you, you nod. 'So what do you want?’ You ask, scribbling the table number at the top even though you would remember who it’s for. They don’t take long in deciding and you jot it down. 'Okay’ you spin in your heel.

'Actually could I change?’ Michael calls; you turn again and smile biding as you scribble out his order. And wrote his new one down only he can’t decide and keeps saying things then changing his mind.

'Michael if you don’t pick, you will be the reason for me getting fired in my first day’ you smile sweetly through the half joke threat and you notice Ashton, Calum and Luke smirking as Michaels eyes widen and he closes the menu 'okay I will take what I ask for first’ he nods and you scrunch your face trying to be a little sweet as you turn. You pass the slip through the kitchen hatch.

'You get half an hour break now’ Henry tells you, 'Oh great, I’m okay to take it out here right?’ You asks and he nods 'Yep take it where ever you like’ he throws you a quick wink over his shoulder as he makes a pot of coffee. You turn and start to walk over to the guys 'Wait up are you not eating?’ Henry asks, turning to you fully this time. 'I didn’t bring anything’ you put as you tell him and he laughs, but uses his finger to wiggle you closer.

'Someone hasn’t been told of the extras you get working here’ he tells you, changing his voice to sound a little more mysterious. 'When you’re working you can get anything for lunch, breakfast or whatever’ he explains 'so, what can I get you?’ He asks. You tell him what you want and head over to the boys who already have their food, another waiter must have delivered it while you were talking.

'I’m on break mine if I join?’ You ask, they shake their heads and you slide in next to Calum. 'You’re living with Ashton you can have lunch with us’ Calum jokes and you smile a little. 'Yeah I guess’.

'So I was thinking, by the end of the week I will have the money to stay in a B&B or something, so I will be able to get out of your hair’ you explain to Ashton, he puts his wrap in the plate and just stares at you as he chews, his eyes soft as they lock with yours.

'You don’t have to do that; I like you staying with me.’ He tells you then looking over to the boys and shaking his head a little 'it’s nice to have someone around that isn’t these idiots’ he jokes and you smile.

'As long as you’re sure, I promise I will be out of your way soon’ you explain but he shakes his head. 'No rush’ he tells you and you can’t stop the smile that breaks across your face.

'Shit lads we’re late, John is calling’ Luke suddenly speaks up, Ashton shoves the last of his wrap in his mouth, Calum doing the same and Michael takes his in his hand, you stand up to let them out. 'Do you all work together?’ You ask and Ashton nods. 'Yeah, erm see you later yeah, have a good first day’ he tells you waving before rushing out following the others.

A girl slides into the booth seat opposite you and smiles 'How do you know them?’ She asks making you frown a little 'Who? Ashton?’ You ask as she nods quickly 'Oh erm’ you don’t want to tell her you’re a homeless stranger that Ashton picked up off the street. 'Ashton, yeah erm Ash is an old friend, I’m staying with him for a couple of weeks’ you tell him, her eyes widen even more. 'Weird never see you before’ she mutters more to herself which confuses you a little 'Your one lucky girl’ she tells you 'I have to call Jess’ she squeals rushing out if the booth and nearly knocking the plate out of Henry’s hand, he shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he watches her rush out without a apology.

——–

'Hey (Y/N), I’m back, just wondering how long your gonna be’ you just about hear Ashton’s voice over the shower; you turn it off and step out grabbing a towel and opening the door. 'All done’ you smile.

'Oh shit, no, you didn’t have to get out, I didn’t mean that’ he rushes, eyes wide and you laugh sliding past him. 'No I was about to get out anyway, how was your day?’ You ask him when he follows you into the kitchen, you flick on the kettle.

'Erm yeah it was good you know, same old I guess’ he explains.

'Oh Ash, a girl asks how I knew you and the guys, I told her I’m an old friends staying with you for a while, I hope that’s okay, I didn’t want to tell them everything you know’ you explain, he nods taking two mugs from the cupboard.

'Yeah that’s fine, I better let my mum know though, just encase’ he speaks out but it’s more to himself. 'Your mum? Why?’ You asks.

'Erm it’s nothing, I’m gonna jump in the shower’ he tells you 'Okay, erm Ash could a lend your laptop?’ You ask and he nods punting to his laptop in the coffee table. 'Help yourself, what’s mine is yours’ he tells you before disappearing into the bathroom.

—–

'Whatcha looking at?’ Ashton sings as he flops into the sofa next to you, you smile and a little as you continue to read and turn the screen for him to see. 'College courses? Accounting and business?’ He asks and you nod but close the laptop down when he doesn’t really respond. 'Doesn’t matter, it was a stupid idea’ you mutter putting the laptop in the coffee table and tucking your knees under your chin watching the TV.

'Hey, no, no it’s not a stupid idea, I meant yeah it’s gonna be hard work but if it’s what you want I’m sure you will tough through it’ he tries to reassure you, 'You don’t strike me as the type of person to give up, I’m guessing you don’t have any qualifications, but that doesn’t matter you can always do them now and then do the business course, I will support you one hundred percent’ he tells you, his hand rubbing your knee slightly as his soft eyes meet yours.

'Now come in smile, I’m feeling pizza, what do you think?’ He asks and cheeky smile growling across his lips and you laugh a little. 'I’ll eat whatever you get’ you tell him, 'BBQ Chicken or Pepperoni?’ He asks wiggling his eyebrows and you shrug 'I honestly don’t mind’ you tell him, he nods jumping up 'I’ll get both’ and you laugh as he skips over to the kitchen and pulls out his phone.

———

’(Y/N)?’ Ashton’s hushed tone pulls you from your flaming into sleep state, your eyes open a little to see his figure in your door way, you push yourself up a little. 'Yeah’ your voice is groggy and you do a small cough to clear your throat. 'Did I wake you?’ He asks still standing in the door. 'No, what’s up?’ You lye not wanting him to feel bad, 'Can’t sleep, just fancied a chat’ he tells you , you lift the covers on the empty side of the bed as you flop back down and you hear the door closeting and Ashton’s feet shuffling against the floor before the bed dips.

'Your such a liar, I woke you didn’t I?’ He is so close when he speaks you can feel his breath against your cheek, you open your eyes to see him facing you, you smile tiredly at him. 'Its fine, I don’t mind’ you tell him and he nods a little, and you both fall silent.

'Can I say something? It’s a little weird’ he asks, you nod opening your eyes, he only looks at you for a second before lying in his back and staring up at the ceiling and you take the opportunity to look over his features.

'I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I think meeting you was the best thing that’s has happened to me. I don’t want you to think I’ve come in here to get sex for helping you because that’s not it, that’s not it at all. I don’t know what it is about you but there is something, I dunno, I sound crazy.’ He rambles; you can tell he is getting embarrassed.

'It’s okay, I know what you’re saying…I mean I don’t know what you’re saying but I do cause I feel like that too but it makes no sense right? I dunno but I get it, and I don’t think your weird or trying to get sex’ you explain? He shuffles into his side and smile brightly at you. 'Yeah?’ He asks and you nod a little 'Yeah’ he takes a second before nodding and throwing the covers off himself and sliding his legs out if the bed.

'Wait Ash’ you sit up as he goes to leave the bed 'Stay…please’ you asks, he nods slowly and lies back down, you turn your back to him like the night before and he wraps his arms around you, holding you to his chest, your fingers entwining with his as you let your eyes close. He quickly moves up and presses his lips to your cheek, 'Good Night’ he whispers as he moves back to the previous position. And you sigh before falling asleep in his safe, warm arms.

Part 4

From Chelsea