I think I have an unhealthy

I’m so happy Lars is finally beginning to have confidence in himself and is in a place where he can be himself.

IMO, I like to think that thanks to that, he will finally stop idolizing the Cool Kids and will stop seeing them as something ‘special’ (something that always bothered me bc it looked like an unhealthy attitude that Lars insisted so much on impressing them and always put them on a pedestal. In order to please them, he always pretended to be another person and repressed his own tastes and activities, and even for them he ended up hurting others).

I mean, like Sadie said,

“Like, not like ‘he thinks’, but, like - they’re actually cool people.

How’s he going to realize that if he doesn’t give them a chance?”

anonymous asked:

Is there anything Clarke and Lexa don't like about each other? Like does Lexa kind of dislike how Clarke fills the fridge with unhealthy food? Or does Clarke hate how Lexa lets Alex and Jake get away with stuff that they should clearly get in trouble for? Like I refuse to believe they are perfect in everything (and I think it's good to have a few points of conflict)

Clarke doesn’t like the way Lexa pushes herself too hard. Lexa doesn’t like the way Clarke is so openly trusting of others. Lexa sometimes can feel left out with the delinquents. They get jealous easily sometimes. There are plenty of conflict scenarios .

anonymous asked:

What are some examples of glorifying/romanticising suicide, so people like me that don't know can avoid them when writing about such a sensitive topic?

Maybe my followers can chime in via the comments with this one. I can’t think of a book I’ve read that glorified suicide, let alone featured it. I know a lot of people have thoughts on 13 Reasons Why, but I haven’t read or watched it, so I can’t confirm or deny. The only example I can personally think of is when people use suicide as an example of romance: he’s so in love, if he ever lost her, he’d kill himself. Not sure if that glorifies suicide but it certainly presents obsessive behavior and unhealthy attachment as romance. Barf.  

anonymous asked:

I hate that because newt is shown as having some autistic traits people assume that he would be interested in romance. Its all steeped I'm ableism but of course they'll deny it and it just pisses me off so much. Its effing canon so he obviously DOES like romance and is romantic. Just... Ugh

Urgh exactly! It’s so unhealthy and ableist to think that people who are autistic or show autistic traits or are awkward cannot have romantic relationships. That’s so awful I just cannot…

“I want to protect Newt from relationships” - he’s a fictional character, an ADULT fictional character, and this is infantilising him, it’s like they’re saying “he’s too neurodivergent to have a healthy normal relationship” which is disgusting.

Weigh-in Wednesday

September 19th: 278.8 lbs.
One Week Ago: 197.6 lbs.
Today: 193.6

This Week: -4.0 lbs.
Total Loss: 85.2 lbs.

I was REALLY surprised by this. I was sure it would be at 195, but I guess I did lose nothing last week. Idk, the last few days have been weird for me. I think it’s because I’m going to start my period any day now, but I’ve been really emotional and I’ve been noticing some potentially unhealthy behaviors when it comes to food lately. Like, if I accidentally drop a piece of food or share a bite with someone, I think, “good, fewer calories.” Not a huge deal, but I don’t feel like I should be thinking about the calories in a dropped carrot, especially when my calories are already all planned and laid out for the day. Then on Monday, I babysat and they had pizza for dinner. I ate my normal snack that I would have eaten on the way home and everything was good, then when I went to put the pizza away, I instead just started eating it. Then I did it again. And again. Three pieces of pizza doesn’t sound like the end of the world now as I type it out, but I felt terrible about it all Monday night and yesterday. It wasn’t the fact that I ate the pizza, it was HOW I ate the pizza. It was like I went went temporarily insane. Why is it so easy for me to do that?? I’m over it now, but it was a crappy couple of days. My goal right now is to keep my shit together this weekend, since that’s when I’ve been struggling with my eating the most. I’m extremely excited to have hit 85 lbs. lost though! Two people in the last two days have noticed and asked me if I’ve lost weight, so I guess I’m doing something right. Now I’m off to run for 25 minutes because apparently I can do that now. Thanks C25K!

yeah, exactly to both. and i think it adds a huge degree of difficulty to being apart from someone/ending a relationship bc now both of u have to work thru the whole “nobody else for me but you” mentality. i think its so childish and freaky. the only scenario it should be allowed is if you’re married and have a life together n you honestly intend to be together until ur old and dead lol. just sayin, as someone who’s been both ppl in the situation, its unhealthy for ur mentals

I’m as guilty as anyone of forgetting that characters need friends (in my case usually because I substitute them with a family member), but I’d love to see more references to emotional connections to friends.

Instead of having a character run into an ex, have them run into a friend they drifted away from and haven’t seen in years.

Have them follow a former friend on Facebook and think about reaching about, but not being sure of their welcome.

Show characters who can’t listen to a song without thinking of a friend they used to listen to it with all the time.

Show the pain of having an unhealthy or abusive friendship.

Have a character who would rather spend time with their best friend than their significant other—not because they are in love with their friend or because they aren’t in love with their significant other, but because their best friend knows them better.

Have friends who have known each other since before they can remember.

Have friends where, when for one their parents die, they are adopted by the other friends’ parents.

Have friends who enable each other’s bad habits.

Have friends who encourage each other’s good habits.

Have friends where one moved away but they still talk every day.

Have friends who have never met in person but still talk every day.

Have friends who only talk once a week or once a month but still consider each other best friends.

Have friends who can communicate with a look or a gesture.

Have friends who learn another language to be able to communicate with each other.

Have friends who help each other through hard times or life changes.

Have friends who can argue and debate for hours but back down instead of getting angry.

Have friends who get angry at each other but will always defend each other and help each other.

Have friends who are respectful of each other’s different religious or cultural beliefs.

Have friends who love each other.

pidge: keith i have a gay problem and need the help of a gay who is more experienced

keith: ok. what is it?

pidge: i like this girl but there’s no way she likes me back and i dunno what to do about it

keith: nothing. absolutely nothing. you do nothing, and then you do your best to ignore it but it’s just eating at you and it’s so hard to pretend it’s not there so then you watch ten thousand heteronormative hallmark movies but eventually you start getting daydreams about how great your life would be if you actually were dating and how much fun you’d have doing the cheesiest coupley stuff and you aren’t even paying attention to the hallmark movies anymore they’re just lights and sounds in the background of your daydreams but we’re in space so you don’t even have the hallmark movies so you just go straight to the daydreams and you get this idea in your head that if you two date you’ll finally be a happy functional person and you won’t have any more problems ever and you know that’s not true but you still wanna believe it anyway and now the crush is getting bigger and bigger and you’re even more of a mess and you talk to your friend about it since he says he’s always there if you need someone to listen so you think that’ll help a little bit but it turns out it doesn’t because your friend is an asshole and says “well why don’t you just tell him?” but if i could tell him then this wouldn’t. be a problem, shiro!

keith: (breathing heavily)

pidge:

pidge:

pidge: actually i think i’m gonna go to lance

keith: …good plan.

5

Heard about a famous animator recently died from “overworking” and I had to rant/vent on twitter because of reasons.

If you cannot load the images, here’s the tweets in text:

reading abt how animators and artists work themselves to death is a sad reminder that your own health matters more than how fast you work

please take the day off if you are sick. Don’t take on several projects at once. LET YOUR DRAWING HAND REST. Get sleep. Eat food.

My ex was a workaholic and he had such a toxic view on what matters in life. I feel sad for him but I don’t miss his constant guilt tripping

Sure I’m not as productive as I was when I was 22, but I have never felt this good before mentally. Still dealing w my ADHD. But it’s better

Being a workaholic is not a compliment. There’s a diff between rly enjoying your work and have a unhealthy obsession over it.

If your social life, family, health, sleeping habits etc are negatively affected by you prioritizing work 24/7 you should seek help.

And when I say “negatively” I mean on the same level as substance abuse addictions etc. I’ve seen it, it’s ugly.

Being able to say “no” to a job offer, knowing it is gonna be too much on your plate, is important af

A lot of us grow up thinking we gotta perform beyond our own capabilities; this is bad work-ethic. it will burn you out. It’s not worth it.

Types as Disney Villains

NOTE: Continuation to Types as Disney Heroines where I showcased the strengths of each type. This time, I’m focusing on the downsides and what the types may look like when unhealthy or looping.

ISTP - Aloof. Vulgar. Aggressive. Cold-hearted.

Originally posted by southernretardation

“I tire of your arrogance, old man. Bow to me!”


ESTP - Possessive. Boastful. Disrespectful. Immature.

Originally posted by all-things-disney-gifs

“Were you in love with her, Beast? Did you honestly think she’d want you, when she had someone like me?”


INTP - Lazy. Untrustworthy. Awkward. Cynical.

Originally posted by disneydeviants

“He’s gotta have a weakness, because everybody’s got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?”


ENTP - Facetious. Moody. Noisy. Obnoxious.

Originally posted by idlestrology

“Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, I’ll smash it with a hammer!”

Keep reading

A Study in Hypocrisy #1

Or why the Avengers’ relationship to Tony was unhealthy at best, Steve isn’t fit to be a leader, and why I’m Team Iron Man to the end.


WHY STEVE ISN’T FIT TO BE A LEADER

While the Civil War dispute between Tony and Steve might have started because of the Accords, it very quickly turned personal for Steve. He put each and every one of his “teammates” in danger for the sake of one man (more about that later), and even though I love Bucky and everything (I really do!), Steve was extremely dumb about the entire situation. In fact, I don’t think he could have gone about it in the worst way. 

He could have gone to “rescue” Bucky in disguise—God knows that, with his serum and brute force, he certainly could have done exactly what he ended up doing— but he went instead with the American flag all over himself. He didn’t stop to consider the implications, the possible consequences or bulldozing into a foreign country and engaging in a car chase in the middle of a populated city. He didn’t even stop to consider that there was no guarantee at all that Bucky was innocent. 

He could have, you know, talked to Tony. Tony, who has the political experience and the material means and influence to get Bucky the best help there is. Tony, who’s been playing this game for so long, who knows how to get what he wants, who to go to, how to formulate things. Tony, who would have been his most precious ally. 

And he was. Before he found out about his betrayal. Tony negotiated so hard to make sure no one would get hurt. After the Berlin disaster, he managed to get the UN (that’s 117 countries!) to agree to make the past 24 hours legal and to get Bucky to a facility where he would get the best help for his triggers, help that of course Tony himself would be paying for, because let’s be real, the Avengers are funded by Tony at this point, which is yet another thing that doesn’t sit well with me, but I’ll come back to it. 

Back to why Steve isn’t fit to be a leader: the essence of a leader is that they are supposed to do just that. Lead. But to do that, they need to be fair and treat their men equally. They need to be able to put aside their personal feelings and look at situations objectively. Because their duty is to protect their men and have their back, just like they will have his. 

A leader leads, sure. But they must know when to listen, too, and defer to somebody with greater expertise than themselves. In that case, Tony obviously knows better than he does, if only because he read the damn papers. That’s also something that doesn’t sit well with me regarding the rest of Team Cap. Not one of them paused to read the Accords. Hell, Scott had no clue what the hell was going on. He heard “jump,” and he did.

Yet, here comes Steve, putting the lives of not two, not three, but five (six, if you count Sharon) people at risk, all for one man. He drags in Clint and Scott with no regards to their families and personal situations, and all the while keeps information to himself. Do you think Sam knows that he could have avoided prison and exile? Do you think any of them know about Tony’s deal? Do you think Scott actually knew what was going on? Hell no! Because Steve is calculating enough that he won’t lose manpower to such a pesky thing as compromise. 

How about Steve’s constant habit of putting the blame on Tony’s shoulders? “You did that when you signed”? What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re the one who keeps refusing to compromise! 

Steve never treated Tony as an equal. In fact, none of them did. (Again, more on that later.) But the thing is that when it came to a life-altering secret that affected both his teammate and “friend,” and his childhood friend, Steve decided that it was his right to keep that information from both parties, which. 

NO. Being “friends”—and I use the term loosely—with Howard doesn’t give Steve the right to such a decision. This is a traumatic event for Tony, something that affects personally and directly. He had a right to know. And as it has been demonstrated in previous movies that his capacity for forgiveness is immense, he would have had the time to process the information and the Siberia disaster never would have happened. 

Furthermore and finally, Steve Rogers was never actually a captain. The title was just for show, a tool for propaganda when he was sent on a tour to sell war bills. All of his training comes from that short bootcamp for potential serum candidates, nothing more. He’s not actually part of the army, or a ranked officer. The only reason they let him keep the title was because he’d been lucky enough to bring back the 107th when he disobeyed orders, and then proved useful enough to both war efforts and morale. 

Steve Rogers is not a leader. A leader treats everyone equally and gives respect before expecting it. A leader does not keep secrets from his men to serve his own agenda. A leader does not leave a man behind in a freezing, deserted landscape with no way of calling for help. 

If anything, Tony’s the leader of the Avengers. Why? Ask yourselves the following questions: 

  • Who feeds the Avengers? 
  • Who houses the Avengers? 
  • Who clothes the Avengers?
  • Who arms the Avengers? 
  • Who handles their PR? 
  • Who pays for the destruction they leave behind?
  • On the battlefield, who has a global view of everything that’s going on? 
  • Who is so smart that they can predict and analyze battle scenarios, and adapt to the unexpected in a flash? 
  • Who’s considerate enough to leave their former teammate to his retirement because he’s just that, retired with his family?
  • Who cares about everyone equally and would give everything to protect them all? Who goes above and beyond to provide them with everything they need? 
  • Who has the political experience required to handle their supervisors and foreign policy?

That’s right. Tony Stark. 

Not Steve Rogers. 


Masterpost

Part 2.1: Natasha | Part 2.2: Steve | Part 2.3: Thor

A Letter to my Ex Best Friend

Sorry for any grammatical errors. I haven’t edited it yet so I’m sorry in advance lolll. But this is something very personal that I wrote today and hopefully someone else could relate. 

————-

I was going through my memory box today and a lot of stuff that involved you came up.  It brought me back to the good times and I almost texted you but then I remembered that you’re just a stranger now. It’s been a couple months since we last talked. Crazy huh? How in just a year we went from being inseperable to complete strangers. If someone had asked us a year or two ago if we could see our life without each other in it, we would have laughed and said no; Now here we are.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about you or that I didn’t miss you. I do miss you, a lot. So much has happened since we last talked, and I wish I could share it all with you. There has been times where I picked up my phone to text you but then I would remember you’re not that person anymore; And it’s sad because for the longest time it seemed like you’d be that person who stayed in my life for a long while. I miss being close with your family and being able to call your home my home as well. I miss having the privilege of saying I had more than one family. It’s crazy how much can change in a short amount of time.

I hope you don’t hate me for walking away when I did. I hope one day you understand that I had to or else we would have never known just how toxic our friendship had been. There is quite a few things I know I could have done better and shouldn’t have done, same goes for you. We are both to blame for our friendship being as unhealthy as it was. Though it was so unhealthy, we shared a lot of great memories and I’d like to think it was equally good as it was bad.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry we’re not best friends anymore and I’m sorry I had to be the one to walk away. I’m sorry for any pain I caused. I’m sorry I couldn’t be your person anymore. I’m sorry we couldn’t do everything we wanted to. I’m sorry I tried to blame you for our friendship ending. I’m sorry I tried to hate you because damn did I try. I tried so hard and for awhile it worked because hating you and being mad at you was easier than missing you. But I realize that I could never hate you, no matter how mad I am about what happened. I’m sorry this is how it had to end for us, but that’s life for you. Not everything goes the way it should or how you want it to.

But I would like to thank you. Thank you for being my person for as long as you were. Thank you for being patient with me while I learned how to trust another person. Thank you for the memories I will never forget. Thank you for caring enough to break through the walls I had worked so hard to build over the years. Thank you for being the person I could run to for everything and anything. Thank you for being the person I could count on. Thank you for being the person I could confide in without the fear of judgement. Thank you for teaching me how to love and be loved. Thank you for showing me that I can still trust others and be trusted. Thank you for proving to me that people come into our lives for a reason and though they may not stay, the lessons learned are a blessing.

I would like to say I can see us being friends again in the future but I’d only be spitting out false hope. It would never be the same and if I happen to see you one day, I’ll smile and walk away. My heart will break a little and all our memories will hit me like a train but I’ll feel grateful for the time we did have together. Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever and unfortunately I learned you are one of those people. They say some people only come into your life to teach you a lesson and leave, but the most important people leave a mark. Well you left a mark and I am thankful for you coming into my life when you did.

I know you may never see this but I needed to get it off my chest. There were a lot of words unsaid and a lot of words I wish I could have said. I guess I’m writing this to get a small sense of closure for myself.

I hope you and your family are doing well. I hope you get everything you want and more in the life you chose for yourself.

You’ll always hold a place in my heart.

Sincerely,

Your Ex Best Friend

Enough with this anti Otayuri crap.

Let’s start by saying that I’m not a hardcore Otayuri fan; I don’t mind them, I just like Viktuuri better. 

Now, ship hate is nothing new: always has been, always will be -cause some people are just incapable of sharing their opinions without bashing and flaming. You have the right to dislike a certain ship if it’s toxic or unhealthy (like Sasuke/Sakura for me) or abusive (like Sangwoo/Yoonbum for me… still read KS though, I’m a sucker for psychological horror) or illegal (like Sebastian/Ciel in probably every industrialized country in the world, but I mind my own business), or simply triggering. You have the right to state your reasons.

You don’t have the right to be an asshole without a reason though.

Here a piece of advice: you think that Otabek is a pedophile? That Otayuri is unacceptable for age reasons?


WRONG.


If it makes you feel that way, it’s your opinion. Your own perception. If thinking about a relationship between two teenagers of 16 and 19 respectively makes you feel uncomfortable because your idea of age of consent is different from the one stated by the law, it’s a matter of opinion. Every opinion matters, but you have to keep in mind that Otayuri has shippers from all over the world, and the age of consent might vary. 

Here’s some data:

In many countries (at least in most of European/Western countries) the age of consent is set at 14-16. For example, where I come from (Italy, one of the most close-minded country I’ve ever seen, but things are slowly changing, thank God) it’s perfectly acceptable to have sex if you’re at least 14 -of course the consent is invalidated with partners who have custody or some kind of institutional power over you). In Italy you can even have sex at 13, but in this case your partner must be a minor him/herself and 3 years older tops, otherwise it’s punishable. So in Europe Otayuri is generally legal.

I don’t know much about American law, but I know for sure that A) the age of consent varies from State to State, and B) the most common one is 16. Same goes for Canada. So in Northern America Otayuri is generally legal as well. 

Yuri!!!! on Ice is a Japanese show. Kubo Mitsoru is Japanese. In Japan the age of consent is set at 13 (although in some prefectures every sexual act conducted on a minor is considered illegal, while in Tokyo the age consent is 17). Guess what? With some variation, in Japan Otayuri is legal.

In Kazakistan? Here the age of consent is set at 16, regardless of consent and sexual orientation (yes, in some countries taking it up the ass makes a difference, don’t ask me why). I’m getting tired of repeating myself, but according to the law of Kazakistan Otayuri is legal. 

This leaves Russia. “Article 134. Sexual Intercourse and Other Actions of Sexual Character with a Person Who Has Not Reached the Age of Sixteen Years: Sexual intercourse committed by a person who has reached the age of eighteen years with a person who has not reached the age of sixteen years shall be punishable […]”. That means that even in Nohomoland™ Otayuri would be legal. 

So, as you can see, most of these antis are not simply stating their opinion, which would be their right if they were to respect others as well. Otayuri is legal in almost every industrialized country (Arabia and Islamic countries are another matter, and I’m definetly not getting started on that), so why the fuck are people talking about pedophilia?!? Do you even know what a pedophile is? Apparently you don’t, and you’re lucky you don’t. 

A pedophile is the old beggar at the corner of the street who tried to shove his hands under my sister’s shirt when she was 5. A pedophile is a sick person, a dangeros person, a criminal who lusts after children. 

If that’s what you think of this when you watch YOI and see an Otayuri moment, then you’re lucky enough to not know what a real pedophile is. 

Keep in mind that every data I collected is taken from the Internet, since I’m not a law student nor I have access to legal data from the other side of the world, but I tried to be as accurate as possible. What I’m trying to say is that, if Otayuri makes you feel uncomfortable because of the age difference, you don’t have to bash other people because of it: every country has its own code in the matter, although there’s a general tendency, and that has nothing to do with ship wars. And keep in mind that the age of consent matter is an ongoing debate because it has little to do with age per se and more with psychological maturity. I mean, if we were to listen to Mother Nature, women would have the right to have sex at 12, 10 in some cases, since their bodies can bear children, right? 

It. Is. A. Matter. Of. Perspective. 

Personality Disorder: Masterpost

What are personality disorders? How many are there? If you need help to self dx or are just curious as I was while researching this, I hope this post helps you.

Personality Disorders: An Overview

Each of us has a unique personality made up of traits that come from both our genetic make-up and our life experiences and is a vital part of what makes us who we are and how we interact with others.  

A personality disorder is a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A person with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving certain things, such as relationships, people in general and emotions. However, that does not make you dumb, broken or worse.

Personality disorders usually become noticeable in adolescence or early adulthood, but sometimes start in childhood. They can make it difficult for those affected to start and keep friendships or other relationships, and they may find it hard to work effectively with others. They may find other people very scary, and feel very alienated and alone.

In general, individuals with personality disorders may have difficulty sustaining close or intimate relationships. They may experience chronic interpersonal problems, or have difficulties in establishing a coherent sense of self or identity. Others may perceive them to be impulsive, irritable, fearful, demanding, hostile, manipulative, or even violent. Problem alcohol or drug use, mood disorders, certain anxiety or eating disorders, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or attempts, and sexual problems often accompany personality disorder.

The diagnosis applies if you have personality difficulties which affect all aspects of your life, all the time, and make life difficult for you and for those around you.

The different types of personality disorders

Psychiatrists in the UK tend to use an American system of diagnosis which identifies 10 different types of personality disorder. These types can be grouped into three categories, which are usually called ‘clusters’:

♦ Suspicious ♦ - Cluster A ( odd, eccentric )

  • Paranoid
  • Shizoid
  • Shizotypal

The common features of the personality disorders in this cluster are social awkwardness and social withdrawal. These disorders are dominated by distorted thinking. 

♦ Emotional and impulsive ♦ -  Cluster B ( dramatic, emotional, and erratic )

  • Borderline
  • Histrionic
  • Narcissistic
  • Antisocial

Disorders in this cluster share problems with impulse control and emotional regulation. 

♦ Anxious ♦ - Cluster C

  • avoidant
  • depedent
  • obsessive compulsive

One person may meet the criteria for several different types of personality disorder, while a wide range of people may fit the criteria for the same disorder, despite having very different personalities. 

Quick overview of all the different personality disorders

••Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)••

This is characterised by a lack of regard for the rights and feelings of others, and a lack of remorse for actions that may hurt others. People with this diagnosis frequently ignore social norms of acceptable behaviour; they may disregard rules and break the law. Consequently, if you have this diagnosis you may also have a criminal record; you may also have problem drug or alcohol use. Sadly, this kind of behaviour is also likely to result in difficulties in relationships, with rejection (given or received) a major feature.  

Antisocial personality disorder signs and symptoms may include:

  • Disregard for right and wrong
  • Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
  • Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
  • Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
  • Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
  • Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
  • Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonestyImpulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
  • Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence
  • Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
  • Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
  • Poor or abusive relationships
  • Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them
  • Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations

Adults with antisocial personality disorder typically show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. 

Treatment:

Cognitive therapy — first developed to help patients with depression — has recently been applied to ASP.

Medication:

No medications are routinely used or specifically approved for ASP treatment. Several drugs, however, have been shown to reduce aggression, a common problem for many antisocials.The best-documented medication is lithium carbonate, which has been found to reduce anger, threatening behavior and combativeness among prisoners. More recently, the drug was shown to reduce behaviors such as bullying, fighting and temper outbursts in aggressive children.Phenytoin (Dilantin), an anticonvulsant, has also been shown to reduce impulsive aggression in prison settings.Other drugs have been used to treat aggression primarily in brain-injured or mentally retarded patients. These include carbamazepine, valproate, propranolol, buspirone and trazodone.  Antipsychotic medications also have been studied in similar populations. They may deter aggression, but potentially induce irreversible side effects. Tranquilizers from the benzodiazepine class should not be used to treat people with ASP because they are potentially addictive and may lead to loss of behavioral control.

••Avoidant (anxious) personality disorder•• 

Typically, a person with this diagnosis fears being judged negatively by others, leading to feelings of discomfort in group or social settings. You may come across as being socially withdrawn, a ‘loner’. Fear and anxiety may mean that you have difficulty in holding down a job, as well as experiencing difficulties in relationships. This can be very painful for you as you can feel lonely and isolated, while at the same time, fearful of those relationships and situations that might make you feel more included and engaged with a community or circle of family or friends.

You are likely to:

  • avoid work or social activities that mean you must be with others 
  •  expect disapproval and criticism and be very sensitive to it 
  • worry constantly about being ‘found out’ and rejected 
  • worry about being ridiculed or shamed by others 
  • avoid relationships, friendships and intimacy because you fear rejection
  • feel lonely and isolated, and inferior to others 
  • be reluctant to try new activities in case you embarrass yourself.

People with avoidant personality disorder experience long-standing feelings of inadequacy and are extremely sensitive to what others think about them. These feelings of inadequacy leads to the person to be socially inhibited and feel socially inept. Because of these feelings of inadequacy and inhibition, the person with avoidant personality disorder will seek to avoid work, school and any activities that involve socializing or interacting with others. 

Treatment:

Treatment of avoidant personality disorder typically involves psychotherapy with a therapist that has experience in treating this kind of personality disorder. 

Medication:

Anti-anxiety agents and antidepressants should be prescribed for avoidant PD only when another psychiatric problem co-occurs (e.g., anxiety or depression). 

••Borderline personality disorder (BPD)•• 

This is the most commonly diagnosed personality disorder. The term borderline originally referred to symptoms being on the borderline between psychosis and neurosis. Typically, with a diagnosis of BPD, you are likely to have a poor self-image and unstable personal relationships, which are likely to result from mood swings that may involve angry outbursts, which tend to drive people away. Conversely, you may find it difficult to break away from damaging relationships as you are frightened of being alone. Others may find it difficult to relate to you, as your response tends to be unpredictable, or people may be afraid of your anger. While seeking contact and support with others, you may also be quite rejecting of this, which makes it hard for people to engage with, or relate to you. While in some ways inviting rejection, you also find it hard to be rejected and may act impulsively in reaction to this, sometimes threatening, or carrying out self-destructive behaviour such as selfharm or suicide attempts. Life can be very difficult and painful, both for you, and for those who care about you. You may have feelings of emptiness and fear abandonment by friends or partners.      

A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:

  • Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  • A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationshipscharacterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
  • Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
  • Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
  • Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
  • Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness
  • Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
  • Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms

Treatment:

Types of psychotherapy used to treat BPD include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help people with BPD identify and change core beliefs and/or behaviors that underlie inaccurate perceptions of themselves and others and problems interacting with others. CBT may help reduce a range of mood and anxiety symptoms and reduce the number of suicidal or self-harming behaviors.
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): This type of therapy utilizes the concept of mindfulness, or being aware of and attentive to the current situation and moods. DBT also teaches skills to control intense emotions, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve relationships. DBT differs from CBT in that it integrates traditional CBT elements with mindfulness, acceptance, and techniques to improve a person’s ability to tolerate stress and control his or her emotions. DBT recognizes the dialectical tension between the need for acceptance and the need for change.
  • Schema-Focused Therapy: This type of therapy combines elements of CBT with other forms of psychotherapy that focus on reframing schemas, or the ways people view themselves. This approach is based on the idea that BPD stems from a dysfunctional self-image—possibly brought on by negative childhood experiences—that affects how people react to their environment, interact with others, and cope with problems or stress.
  • Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving (STEPPS) is a type of group therapy that aims to educate family members, significant others, and health care professionals about BPD and gives them guidance on how to interact consistently with the person with the disorder using the STEPPS approach and terminology. STEPPS is designed to supplement other treatments the patient may be receiving, such as medication or individual psychotherapy.

Medication:

There are no known medications that can treat BPD as a whole. A mental health professional may recommend medications to treat specific symptoms, such as mood swings, depression, or other disorders that may occur with BPD.  
••Dependent personality disorder (DPD)•• 

With this diagnosis you are likely to take a passive position with regard to your own life, allowing others to assume responsibility for many areas of your life. You are likely to lack selfconfidence, assuming that the needs of others take precedence to yours. You may find it very hard to even recognise that you have rights and needs. This can leave you in a very vulnerable position as you are reliant on others looking out for your needs and not abusing the position you take within relationships. Other people are more likely to identify this vulnerability as they recgonise your passivity and submissiveness .
People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions and feel that others have better ideas. They may be devastated by separation and loss, and they may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship. Other symptoms include:

  • Difficulty making decisions without reassurance from others
  • Extreme passivity
  • Problems expressing disagreements with others
  • Avoiding personal responsibility
  • Avoiding being alone
  • Devastation or helplessness when relationships end
  • Unable to meet ordinary demands of life
  • Preoccupied with fears of being abandoned
  • Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
  • Willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others

Complications of this disorder may include depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and susceptibility to physical, emotional and sexual abuse.

Treatment:

Psychotherapy is the preferred form of treatment for people with dependent personality disorder. Cognitive-behavioral therapy focuses on patterns of thinking that are maladaptive, the beliefs that underlie such thinking and resolving symptoms or traits that are characteristic of the disorder, such as the inability to make important life decisions or the inability to initiate relationships. Improvements are usually seen only with long-term therapy or treatment.

Medication:

Certain types of drugs such as antidepressants, sedatives and tranquilizers are often prescribed for patients with dependent personality disorder to treat co-occurring conditions.

••Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)•• 

This disorder is characterised by extreme or over-dramatic behaviour, with a need to be the centre of attention. If you have this diagnosis, you may form relationships quickly, but be demanding and attention-seeking. You may also flirt or behave provocatively in order to ensure you attract or retain the attention of others. To others you may appear to be self-centred, with shallow emotions. While you crave attention, this may also be difficult as you may feel you have to entertain others, be the life and soul of the party and that you are dependent on the approval of other people.

You are likely to: 

  • feel very uncomfortable if you are not the centre of attention
  • feel much more at ease as the ‘life and soul of the party’
  • feel that you have to entertain people
  • flirt or behave provocatively to ensure that you remain the centre of attention
  • get a reputation for being dramatic and overemotional
  • feel dependent on the approval of others
  • be easily influenced by others

Treatment:

Treatment can be difficult if you have HPD. Like many people with HPD, you might think you don’t need treatment, or you might find the routine of a treatment program to be unappealing. However, therapy — and sometimes medications — can help you cope with HPD. Psychotherapy is the most common and effective treatment choice for HPD. This kind of therapy involves talking to a therapist about your feelings and experiences. Such talks can help you and your therapist determine the reasoning behind your actions and behaviors. Your therapist may be able to help you learn how to relate with people in a positive manner, instead of continually trying to get attention from them.

Medication:

If the patient experiences depression or anxiety as a part of their HPD, their primary care provider might put them on antidepressants or antianxiety medication.

••Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)••

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have significant problems with their sense of self-worth stemming from a powerful sense of entitlement. This leads them to believe they deserve special treatment, and to assume they have special powers, are uniquely talented, or that they are especially brilliant or attractive. Their sense of entitlement can lead them to act in ways that fundamentally disregard and disrespect the worth of those around them.

You are likely to: 

  • believe that there are special reasons that make you different, better or more deserving than others
  • have fragile self-esteem, so that you rely on others to recognise your worth and your needs
  • feel upset if others ignore you and don’t give you what you feel you deserve
  • resent other people’s successes
  • put your own needs above other people’s, and demand they do too
  • be seen as selfish and ‘above yourself’
  • take advantage of other people. 

Treatment:

Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy. Psychotherapy can help you:

  • Learn to relate better with others so your relationships are more intimate, enjoyable and rewarding
  • Understand the causes of your emotions and what drives you to compete, to distrust others, and perhaps to despise yourself and others

Medication:

There are no medications specifically used to treat narcissistic personality disorder. However, if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other conditions, medications such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs may be helpful. 

••Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)•• 

A person with this disorder tends to have difficulties in expressing warm or tender emotions to others. They are frequently perfectionists, things must be done in their own way. They often lack clarity in seeing other perspectives or ways of doing things, and their rigid attention to detail may prevent them from completing tasks. OCPD is separate from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which describes a form of behaviour rather than a type of personality.   

You are likely to:

  • need to keep everything in order and under control
  • set unrealistically high standards for yourself and others
  • think yours is the best way of making things happen
  • worry when you or others might make mistakes
  • expect catastrophes if things aren’t perfect
  • be reluctant to spend money on yourself or others
  • have a tendency to hang on to items with no obvious value. 

Treatment:

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of mental health counseling. During CBT, you meet with a mental health professional on a structured schedule. These regular sessions involve working with your counselor to talk through any anxiety, stress, or depression. A mental health counselor may encourage you to put less emphasis on work and more emphasis on recreation, family, and other interpersonal relationships. Relaxation training involves specific breathing and relaxation techniques that can help decrease your sense of stress and urgency. These symptoms are common in OCPD. Examples of recommended relaxation practices include yoga, tai chi, and Pilates.

Medication:

Usually, a SSRI type medication is prescribed to decrease inflexible and detail-oriented thinking. 

••Paranoid personality disorder (PPD)•• 

People with this diagnosis are often emotionally detached and suspicious of other people and their motives. They may hold longstanding grudges, and believe that other people are not trustworthy, are deceiving, threatening, or making plans against them.

  • People with this disorder assume that others are out to harm them, take advantage of them, or humiliate them in some way.
  • They put a lot of effort into protecting themselves and keeping their distance from others.
  • They are known to preemptively attack others whom they feel threatened by.
  • They tend to hold grudges, are litigious, and display pathological jealously.
  • Distorted thinking is evident. Their perception of the environment includes reading malevolent intentions into genuinely harmless, innocuous comments or behavior, and dwelling on past slights.
  • Their emotional life tends to be dominated by distrust and hostility.
  • For these reasons, they do not confide in others and do not allow themselves to develop close relationships.

Treatment:

talk therapy or psychotherapy are helpful. These methods will:

  • help the individual learn how to cope with the disorder
  • learn how to communicate with others in social situations
  • help reduce feelings of paranoia

Medication:

Medications may include:

  • antidepressants
  • benzodiazepines
  • antipsychotics

Combining medication with talk therapy or psychotherapy can be very successful.

••Schizoid personality disorder•• 

People diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder tend to have difficulties in expressing emotions, particularly around warmth or tenderness. They often feel shy in company, but may come across as aloof or remote, and have difficulty in developing or maintaining social relationships.

  • They almost always chose solitary activities, and seem to take little pleasure in life.
  • These “loners” often prefer mechanical or abstract activities that involve little human interaction and appear indifferent to both criticism and praise.
  • Emotionally, they seem aloof, detached, and cold.
  • They may be oblivious to social nuance and social cues causing them to appear socially inept and superficial.
  • Their restricted emotional range and failure to reciprocate gestures or facial expressions (such a smiles or nods of agreement) cause them to appear rather dull, bland, or inattentive.

The Schizoid Personality Disorder appears to be rather rare.

Treatment:

Cognitive behavioral therapy is designed to change behavior. It can be successful in treating this condition because you will learn how to act in social situations. This may reduce anxiety and reluctance to pursue social relationships. Group therapy is another option and can help you practice your social skills. This will help you become more comfortable in social situations.

Medication:

Medication is generally not used unless other treatment methods are not working. Bupropion may be used to increase feelings of pleasure. Antipsychotic medications can be used to treat feelings of indifference. These medications can also help encourage social interactions.

••Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD)•• 

A person with this disorder typically has problems around developing interpersonal relationships. The condition is characterised by thought disorders and paranoia. To others they may appear odd or eccentric; they may dress or behave inappropriately, for example talking to themselves in public.

  • Unlike the Schizoid Personality Disorder, they also experience perceptual and cognitive distortions and/or eccentric behavior.
  • People with Schizotypal Personality Disorder have odd beliefs, for instance, they may believe they can read other people’s thoughts, or that that their own thoughts have been stolen from their heads.
  • Schizotypal Personality Disorder tends to be found more frequently in families where someone has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia; a severe mental disorder with the defining feature of psychosis (the loss of reality testing). There is some indication that these two distinct disorders share genetic commonalities
  • These perceptual abnormalities may include noticing flashes of light no one else can see, or seeing objects or shadows in the corner of their eyes and then realizing that nothing is there.
  • These odd or superstitious beliefs and fantasies are inconsistent with cultural norms.

Treatment:

Several types of therapy can help treat STPD. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, can help you learn how to form relationships. You can get this type of therapy along with social skills training to help you feel more comfortable in social situations.

Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you address some of the behaviors associated with your condition. Your therapist can help you learn how to act in social situations and respond to social cues. They can also help you learn to recognize unusual or harmful thoughts and change them.

Family therapy may be helpful, especially if you live with others. It can help you strengthen your relationships with family members. It may also help you to feel more supported by your family.

Medication:

No medications are designed to treat STPD specifically. However, some people with this condition benefit from taking antipsychotic or antidepressant drugs if they’re experiencing symptoms that their doctor thinks be improved with these medications. 

scarletnightwalker  asked:

Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. Lately I've come across the healthy/unhealthy personality types. Though I know, that I'm an ENTP, I would like to learn, how you can tell whether they are healthy or not. Would be great if you would explain this. Thanks in advance PS.: I'm not sure, if this is the right place to ask my questions, so correct me if the 'question' section isn't the right one.

It’s the right place. All the mods are pretty chill coz we’re awesome. :)

Unhealthy NTP: never finishes anything or focuses on the details (zero follow through), uses their Fe to manipulate people (you’re soft, and a pansy, and making you fall for my BS is so fun, maybe I can even get you to cry by pointing out how stupid your ideas are!) or intentionally hurt them rather than forge genuine connections or take into consideration people’s feelings.

Healthy NTP: knows which ideas are better than others, in order to focus on bringing them into fruition and either commits to them long-term by selecting a creative partner (Ne/Fe) or giving their ideas away to others who can nail down the details. Is logical but gentle in correcting others, mindful that people’s feelings matter and it’s important for others to genuinely like you in life, in order to get things done (and because it’s the nice thing to do). Realizes they’re prone to hyperbole, short term interests, and exaggeration, and learns to laugh about it, but also acknowledge it and work on fixing it. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NFP: never finishes anything or focuses on details (zero follow through), follows their heart without regard for the consequences, using that to justify hurtful behavior (I don’t care what you think, I fell out of love with you, so I can cheat on you all I want, I’ve done nothing wrong, this is who I am, just deal with it or get out), refuses to take blame for their part of the problem, may intentionally offend others, and doesn’t care about anyone but themselves.

Healthy NFP: knows which ideas are better than others and seeks to bring the best ones into the world through healthy engagement of goals, deadlines, and process of elimination (Te). Sets personal deadlines for self, and beats them, in order to stay motivated. Understands what drives them most, slows them down, or angers them, and commits to doing something about it. Learns such things as “tact,” when dealing with others, but also when and where to defy social norms and stand up for oneself (does that really matter? is it worth a fight?). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NTJ: becomes obnoxious in pushing their “vision” on others or asserting they know everything (including your motives) while devaluing your feelings or beliefs, often sneers at people who make emotional decisions, and sometimes passive-aggressively attacks people’s ego or intelligence that they do not like (okay, stupid, I’m just going to make you look like an idiot, while correcting every damn thing you say, all day long, until you run away and cry).

Healthy NTJ: has a fair, balanced, and open-minded approach to life, is willing to listen to others’ ideas and offer practical thoughts on them, but is neither arrogant nor pushy about their knowledge, expertise, and logical detachment. Chooses when to correct others with care, and never does so to humiliate, only to educate. Respects others’ feelings even if they personally feel that the other person is making a mistake. Focuses on taking their ideas and goals and making them real. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NFJ: total detachment from reality, while stubbornly clinging to the belief that their irrational interpretation is “the truth” (and the ONLY truth) (It DOES make sense, you’re just too stupid to understand it!), and resorting to a “you’re either with us or against us” mentality, which manifests in creating a single universal (sometimes abstract) enemy and trying to recruit others to join their cause against them / you (bad Ni and Fe).

Healthy NFJ: has a fair, balanced, and open-minded approach to life, accepts their interpretation may be unrealistic, but is committed to bringing their ideas and visualizations to life, often by recruiting others to a positive common cause. Uses their understanding of others’ motives to uplift rather than tear down, and becomes a source of compassionate and guiding “wisdom” for friends (I worry about you choosing this path, and here’s why…). Never recruits others in any negative ways against someone who disagrees with them. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy STP: irresponsible, reckless, and hedonistic, engaging in short-term behaviors that leave a wake of destruction behind (broken marriages, families, and violated responsibilities), often using Fe to manipulate people to get what they want (hey, I’m super hot and I’ve seen you ogling my backside, so I’m going to wear something that accentuates it so you’ll give me what I want in return one of these days; I don’t care how wrong it is) and then dumping them like hotcakes.

Healthy STP: knows life has much to offer and not only enjoys it but helps others loosen up and try new things, but commits to the people, beliefs, and jobs that are most important to them, for the long term. Understands and respects others’ feelings and seeks to connect to them through that, as well as develop their own ability to communicate. Learns the art of tact and when to use it (is it worth correcting this person or does it matter?). Tries to think about the long-term consequences of impulse, before engaging in it. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy SFP: irresponsible, reckless, and hedonistic, going through jobs and romantic relationships like wildfire, abandoning people every time they get “bored” or feel unattached; justifies this behavior with selfish reasoning (I just don’t love you anymore, so I don’t have to treat you with respect); unable to be counted upon by other people, since they never show up or follow through; refuses to take responsibility through their actions and doesn’t mind offending others for no reason at all.

Healthy SFP: is good at self-entertaining and eager to try new things, and infects others with a similar excitement; is good at pushing people out of their comfort zones and encouraging them to aim high for their dreams. Has a strong sense of personal beliefs, and is willing to commit to other people, and prioritize them in relationships. Knows when it’s appropriate to defy social convention, and when it’s better to dial back the “but this is just who I am!” and chill. Sets personal goals, deadlines, and achievements, and sticks with things, so they have something tangible to show for their time (Te). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy STJ: refuses to adapt or change even when their world implodes; may try and “force” or “strong-arm” others into their point of view. Has little interest or respect for people’s feelings and doesn’t mind crushing them on their way to success, but may also play the role of a martyr in the process (since NO ONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE AROUND HERE, I HAVE TO DO IT). May become irrational or paranoid with lower Ne, and turn into a pessimist.

Healthy STJ: uses their extensive past experience to figure out what will and won’t work when dealing with life and problems, but is also open to new ideas, trying out new things, and experiencing what “lies beneath the surface” (Ne). Tries not to shut down ideas until they have considered them. Is practical, efficient, and logical, but also respects people’s feelings and doesn’t intentionally try to hurt, shame, or control them. Becomes able to share what they need emotionally with others, rather than playing a martyr (I would like it if you would take the trash out; since I’m doing this other thing, it seems fair, and it would make me happy). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy SFJ: refuses to change or adapt, while clinging stubbornly to their idea of “how things were,” while struggling to control their emotions; may resort to being “fake” in order to manipulate others, to “us vs them” thinking and overt moralizing (if you don’t agree with us, you’d better change your mind or face the consequences, because we can’t let you hold such a wrong point of view and will punish you for it).

Healthy SFJ: uses the past to form impressions about people and situations, but changes those perceptions based on new experience; is open to new ideas and beliefs, and willing to look beneath the surface (Ne), with the aim of making those things “useful and tangible” in the real world (how can this idea apply to life and improve our situation?). Learns the art of “polite affirming correction,” which helps others become better, while not shaming, humiliating, or insulting them for their behavior. Aware not everyone needs to agree, and comfortable with those who don’t; never recruits anyone against anyone else, or adopts a mentality of “let’s get that person, together.” Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes. 

- ENFP Mod

i think in itself the kin/ID communities aren’t bad as obviously i have some myself, some i keep private and some i discuss, but the obsession with finding the perfect/correct person in a sea of people who you know nothing about beyond their kins with the express intention of rekindling relationships of any sort is extremely unhealthy

like seeking those people out, forming relationships based on nothing but past life perceptions of compatibility is very bad for you and setting you up for a lot of disappointment as well as setting one another up for impossible standards and encouraging behaviors to keep one another close ie lying about memories, exaggerating events from those canons, living too much in the past… it’s not good and makes your growth stagnant

How Fusion relationships work

“How many Gems are you now?”
“Six! Maybe more … if we meet the right Gem.”

In the episode “Off Colors,” Fluorite makes it clear she’s a relationship of SIX Gems and is open to more. I was joking around trying to think of what her fusion dance would look like if she added another Gem to this relationship, thinking it would be kind of adorable seeing one smaller Gem dancing to fuse with this huge amalgam. But then I wondered about a few things and I collected enough Thinky Thoughts to ramble for a bit.

For a long time before “Super Watermelon Island,” we fans were curious about Alexandrite’s fusion dance. We knew Garnet, as a Fusion herself, prefers to form Fusions with others when she’s already in her Fusion state–as in, she certainly doesn’t split up first to dance with the others one on one when she wants to form Sugilite or Sardonyx. 

We figured hey, maybe it’s easier to synchronize two Gems rather than trying to synchronize three at the same time, and therefore maybe Alexandrite was formed with Pearl and Amethyst fusing into Opal first before dancing with Garnet. 

In “Super Watermelon Island,” we see that’s not so.

Which is not to say that Opal and Garnet COULDN’T decide to fuse that way, but they didn’t in this case. And we can see that if they’re prepared to do it, a three-way synchronization can work without previously synchronizing the components into Fusions.

Fusions can fuse with individuals. With TWO individuals. And individual Gems can of course make Fusions. So basically, it’s free-for-all mix-n-match however the Gems involved are comfortable doing it. 

And I got to wondering what that means for the Fusions themselves. Fusions are relationships. So theoretically, Fusions are the relationships of the component Gems with each other, even in more complicated Fusions like Alexandrite. But essentially, Alexandrite seems like she is the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl with Garnet, not so much the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl and Ruby and Sapphire. If they were to all four fuse in a single fusion dance, they would still make Alexandrite, but Pearl and Amethyst probably don’t HAVE much of a relationship with Ruby or with Sapphire individually. When Pearl first met Garnet in any meaningful way, she was already fused.

So when Pearl makes Sardonyx with Garnet, that relationship is by definition Ruby, Sapphire, and Pearl’s relationship, but practically speaking, it’s a relationship between Pearl and Garnet. Because her relationship with Ruby and Sapphire is nearly always in the context of them as their relationship. As Garnet.

That may seem like a weird point to press on, but stay with me here. 

Garnet probably doesn’t have much of a relationship with Opal as an individual. She has individual relationships with Pearl and with Amethyst, and together their group is Alexandrite. They’re a four-Gem Fusion, but personality-wise, Alexandrite represents Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst together far more than she represents Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, and Amethyst together. When they start to fight internally, you certainly hear Garnet’s voice coming out, not the voices of Ruby or Sapphire. (And maybe, aside from the potential spoiler-related reasons, that’s why Alexandrite makes more sense with six arms instead of eight.)

Rebecca Sugar has repeatedly said in interviews that Fusions ARE relationships (though they also obviously have their own opinions that can be in contradiction with their components’ opinions, like Sugilite, and can “feel like one being” like Garnet said in “Keeping It Together”). And she’s also said Fusions are an interesting opportunity to explore who people are TOGETHER–the way humans can be together in a relationship and it changes who they are, how they think, how they function as a unit even though they can never be as much of a single entity as a Fusion is. This has me thinking about Fluorite.

She’s an established six-Gem relationship. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that they wanted to live together, but Rhodonite’s question “how many Gems are you now?” suggests she’s been adding them steadily–that it wasn’t all at once. Very much like Amethyst and Pearl having a relationship with GARNET far more than with Ruby and/or Sapphire individually, I imagine that Fluorite’s additional Gems beyond the first ones–including potential future additions–would develop a relationship with the Fusion, not so much with her components. They may not even KNOW much about who they are individually because the relationship is that significant. That the relationship changes them so much.

I mean, you’ve probably met people who are in relationships and have been part of that unit since a very long time before you met them. They’ve grown into each other, become comfortable with each other, and developed a collective “we” identity that connects to their family, their living situation, their thresholds of intimacy, their interests–everything. You would have no way to know the individuals in that relationship how they would be if they didn’t have it–just like it’s hard to imagine who someone might be if they weren’t an artist, or weren’t a mother, or weren’t chronically ill, or weren’t the gender or sexuality they are. You can’t pluck one element out of them and then try to re-imagine them around the hole that leaves–not unless that element actually does disappear and they readjust their identity around it. I think our relationships can be like that too–that they affect our identity.

Humans’ relationships aren’t as literally transformative as a relationship that can literally become its own person, but our relationships essentially have lives of their own too. Garnet didn’t describe Fusion to Stevonnie as “an experience” for nothing. Most of us don’t “feel like one being” as part of a relationship, and there are some ways in which that can be unhealthy for us if we repress important parts of ourselves to become subsumed in something we wouldn’t like if we were fully conscious of what we were doing. But in general, it’s not a bad thing to have one’s relationship regarded as an important element of who they are. It’s certainly part of how the outside world thinks of them and treats them.

With someone like Fluorite, I think it would be super interesting to see how a single Gem has a relationship with an existing relationship and becomes a part of it. But even though I think Fluorite, and Garnet, and even in some ways Malachite, can be regarded and treated as individuals while fused–requiring those who have relationships with them to take them as a whole–you would also have to have at least some kind of relationship with that relationship’s members. You’d understand them as a package deal, but you might have different feelings about its members. Steven, for instance, loved Lapis and disliked Jasper, but understood Malachite as someone he needed to fight.

Now here’s the sad thing. Garnet states that she’ll “always exist in” Ruby and Sapphire, and that she embodies their love (even though they can still experience that love when they’re not fused, too). But I imagine that if Garnet were separated for a long time, Steven would miss her a lot. And I can imagine if one of Steven’s guardians decided to, say, form a new Fusion with Fluorite and stay that way, he would miss her too. You can’t have both the single Gem and the perma-Fusion in your life consistently.

Most of us have been there. “Losing” a person to a new relationship and nothing is ever the same with them again. They give themselves to the relationship, they go everywhere together, and you can’t invite one without them bringing the other(s). Sometimes, you probably miss that person and want them back. But when they’re part of the relationship, that’s part of who they are, and even when they’re not with their partner(s), they’re part of that relationship. Sometimes that can feel sad, especially if it means your special relationship with that person had to end, lessen, or significantly change. 

Fusion relationships are very different from ours in a few obvious ways, but they’re not so fundamentally different that we can’t draw the parallels. Sometimes you wish the Fusion wasn’t there because you think the relationship is bad for those involved, like Malachite. If you’re Steven, you want your Lapis back and you want Jasper out of both of your lives. You might try to advise Lapis, you might try to protect her from Jasper, but she’s the one who has to decide what her relationship is. You can only hope she sees reason, or you could lose her in more ways than one.

With loving relationships, like Garnet, you want them to be together. Not necessarily because you like Garnet better than you like Ruby and Sapphire–it’s fun to see them now and then, sure!

But you know they prefer to be together, and that they experience anxiety and pain when they’re apart, and that they’ve chosen a life together where some of their individuality is given up for that closeness. You respect their decision and have a relationship with their relationship.

For humans, our relationships do not literally combine the traits of multiple people into one person that then has its own conscious will. The individuals in the relationship still function, while “the relationship” has no physical manifestation despite its influence being felt in the components. But it still changes the “color” of their lives together and brings the people involved close together to serve many shared goals, just like a Fusion.

So when a hypothetical new Gem does come along and establish a relationship with Fluorite, I think she would dance with her. Not with her components individually, but with her. We know Garnet as Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship–not as Ruby and Sapphire combined, but as the result of that combination. For a fused Gem, the Fusion is the new identity who can now make decisions and have experiences, even though they ARE an experience at the same time. It isn’t the same as individuals deciding to do the same thing. They made the decision to become the thing that decides on its own. And that Fusion, in the reality of their life together, can sometimes decide that’s no longer what they want to be. Or they can realize they’d rather be this than anything they were supposed to be and that they’d rather do this than anything they were supposed to do.

If a Gem has a relationship with a relationship, it’ll always be with the relationship first. The new relationship will need to be understood as coming into a shared, existing intimacy. Pearl and Amethyst don’t individually get consent from Ruby and from Sapphire when Garnet acts on their behalf to form Alexandrite. Garnet feels and acts differently from Ruby and Sapphire sometimes, and their choice to fuse into her has influenced the subsequent decisions they make as her. 

They may or may not disagree with how Garnet acts sometimes–like, if you were to ask Sapphire or ask Ruby what they would have personally done when Garnet did something different, you might get some answers that are as different as Amethyst and Garnet’s answers would be from Sugilite’s. But within the context of the relationship, with the relationship actively existing, it has the power to influence how the individuals feel. They have a relationship, and then that relationship can feel and think in unprecedented ways–with some of them not being so good. Being in a relationship with an abusive person, for instance, can sometimes make the abused party accept treatment they wouldn’t outside the relationship, or might have thought they wouldn’t tolerate before the relationship was established. And sometimes it’s neutral, like what a married couple decides they want in a shared home is different from what kind of place each might buy individually.

But what’s important about this is that fusion of goals, opinions, and thoughts in human relationships isn’t necessarily a sad thing. It’s a natural thing. We all influence each other. Allowing yourself to be influenced does not mean the relationship has eclipsed your life, or that you’re in an unhealthy dependence, or that you’ve lost your individual will–you’re still part of what you’ve made together. And if you’re happy in your relationship, anyone who comes along afterwards needs to understand who it’s made you, and be accepting of it, and most of all, be willing to have a relationship with your relationship. Not just one of its parts.

the more i think abt this, the more sad i get tbh bc there was so much potential this season that was hinted at in the earlier eps of s4.

for example: if they took the whole nooohelm arc out completely and replaced it with the lesbian vilde arc - we could have had a better relationship/identity parallel between sana and vilde instead of nooohelm’s toxicity. we could have had sana struggling with her feelings towards yousef, who isn’t muslim and vilde struggling with her feelings for girls (specifically eva) + we could have seen sana and vilde clash and grow closer, we could have finally seen sana not tolerate vilde’s islamophobia and educate her. we could have had so so much character development and a stronger, more open girl squad im,,,,

the types as things they've all said to me

ENFJ: “yeah i’ve take the personality tests a few times and it can never type me, i always get like 50/50 on each of the things, so i’m really balanced; i’m EXXX” (bitch MORE than 2 of you have said this to me, you are all problematic and project those questions onto yourselves you fake ass hoes)
INFJ: “i should start a psychic business and pretend to take people’s fortunes because i’m so good at this.” (this was said after she guessed that her boyfriend would get a 96 on his philosophy exam after he had gotten a 97 on the last one, and was exactly correct. tl;dr every INFJ is a demon)
ESFJ: “i get to take care of you and treat you until you’re better!” said with real tears in his eyes after i had rolled my ankle and it was the size of an actual softball. he held my hand as he said it.
ISFJ: “i’m trying my best!” said very flusteredly (it’s a word, shut up) after we poked fun at the fact that he was still 4 labs behind on homework. he was also on youtube at the time.
ESTJ: “joe hasn’t answered me and we’re leaving for austria for spring break in TWO months and i need a plan for what we’re going to do the first weekend ASAP or i’m going to literally kill him with my bare hands.”
i have no more context to add to this, yall are literally just the most extra people i’ll ever meet.
ISTJ: “i feel like…” and then you proceeded to lie to me because none of you have felt anything, ever.
ESFP: “what’s happening?! should i talk to him?! should i ignore it and be oblivious?! idk what to do im not an intuitive!” said when i was pissed at everybody and he accidentally got the brunt of my rage. you are all pure and naive and just want to have a good time and i respect that; you do you, boo boo the fools, just keep doing you.
ISFP: “i’m about to make a transatlantic flight to austria to instill the fear of god into every one of those girls playing with joe’s heart over there.” said about her little brother while still in her horse riding gear, in between walking from the dinner table to her laptop to watch sherlock and dr. who. im 100% not joking about this, her name is Mary Duran and she paints on the side too.
ESTP: “well, enough of that.” said moments after crying for two minutes, and seconds before throwing a lawn chair across the yard and breaking a window because he didn’t know how else to process his emotions. @everyESTP, pls get help.
ISTP: “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A FUCKING BLINKER. USE YOUR BLINKER BEFORE I SLIT YOUR THROAT.” (this is literally every time i’m in the car with him, no matter what, no matter how long; tl;dr every one of you shouldn’t drive, ever.)
ENTP: “but was kant really that bad?” said by some hoe in one of my higher level philosophy classes as he introduced us to Irrelevantland™. stick to your memes and stop antagonizing every person you meet you bored ass mfs.
INTP: “the old lady thinks i’m going to fix our neighbor’s AC, which means i have about 45 minutes to get to a town 34 minutes away to see if the guy has one of the car parts i’ve been looking for. it’ll cost about $200-$220, but i gotta take the money out in small increments around town so she doesn’t get suspicious.” said by my best friends dad, in reference to his wife and his unhealthy obsession with fixing up old, unusable cars.
ENTJ: “socrates was probably the dumbest person to ever live, and i wrote an entire 12 page paper on it and got an A.” (i have no more to add to this; you’re all just as bad as the ESTJs and must be stopped.)
INTJ: “that was a good burn. i think i’m going to like you.” said to me after i said something witty and sarcastic to my ENFP best friend. p.s. every INTJ has an XNFP best friend, it’s just a fact, accept it).
ENFP: “hey remember how you’ve been telling me for the past three months that im overcommitting myself and doing too many things? well today after my seventeenth breakdown of the semester so far, i realized that you might be right.” (said by my best friend. not much else to add to this, really; you’re all insane.)
INFP: “my friend brought me a puppy between classes today and it was only the second of four times i cried today.”