I swear that would literally be me

i think…….i just found the right therapist…….she’s a nun lmao i was too afraid to swear when i was talking to her but i was like “yeah god isnt my…..thing” and she didn’t care and her office is this amazing renovated old house and it’s like what u would imagine someone’s grandma’s living room to be like…..and the front porch on this house…………bye. also she seems to always have appointments literally 15-20 min after i clock out of work which is…….perfect bc therapy is exactly what the fuck i need after work. she was awesome i think she can actually help me this is a miracle

1. Her eyes glow when she’s happy and her smile is contagious
2. Even on my worst days she can lift me up
3. My arm takes the hit (literally) when she’s excited but I would gladly let it bruise if it means she’s happy
4. The world is dull when she’s not around and I swear it’s raining outside when she’s sad
5. She could go on about k-pop bands I don’t know and I’ll let her ‘cause let me tell you she is the most adorable person when she talks about things she’s passionate about
6. She’s weird in the best ways
7. She could be the lamest person in the world
8. She’s not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows but whatever mood she’s in, I’ll love her till the sun no longer shines for us because-
—  This is who you are in my eyes
//The shattered flower

Calum ha been looking so sad lately and it makes me feel sad. Like he’s drinking and smoking more and he doesn’t seem as happy as he used to be and honestly I just wanna be there for him ya know? Like I literally just want to give him a really big long hug and tell him that it’ll all be okay. I want him to vent and like be able to talk to me ya know? it’ll probably never happen because he doesn’t even know that I exist but it would be really nice if he even saw this. I just want him to know that he’s not alone and that there are so many people out there that love and care for him. Just wanna make sure he’s okay. I swear if I ever get to meet 5sos I’m going to treat them like I’m their mother omg I’d be like “Okay are you guys getting enough to eat? Are you sad? Is something making you upset? Do you wanna talk about it? Like I’d be THAT person lmfao. But yeah. And also I would just like to throw it out there that even though smoking isn’t good for you Calum is allowed to do whatever the hell he wants too.

give me modern vexleth AU where they are both nature bloggers and they randomly meet up while hiking the Bruce trail ((vex swears there’s been a bear following her but she keeps her food secure and an eye at her back and nothing has happened yet))
and then they realize they’ve been mutuals for literal years
and they fall in LOVE on a BEAUTIFUL HIKE and it’s full of tent sharing and skinny dipping and marveling at how the sun hits faces at just the right angle and taking sneaky portraits of each other

Sentence starters based on what I have said in the past:
  • "I choose not to gain weight. I don't like the idea of it, so I don't do it."
  • "I am but an awkward beta fish."
  • "Anyone ever get those farts where it feels like you're blowing fire out of your butt-hole? I just did one of those."
  • "It's times like this where I hate my existance."
  • "Yes, I think drinking my Warheads spray candy would be a lovely idea. YOLO, man."
  • "I swear if I have to eat oatmeal tonight-"
  • "Tumblr will be the death of me, I swear."
  • "I am literally buying all this stuff for two pieces of paper with the number 20 on them."
  • "I wonder how far I can put my finger down my throat until I throw up..."
  • "I just realized I will never be able to touch my right elbow with my right hand."
  • "Who squirted hand sanitizer all over the place?"

anonymous asked:

i swear im not trying to come off rude or anything but i feel like you act like you know the characters better than other people, like saying dating this character would involve this and that, when you cant really know that.

Those things are literally just my headcanons. They’re things I imagine to be true. They’re not me saying ‘oh this character would do this’ it’s just me saying 'these are things that I personally believe the character would do’. I’m not sure how that comes across as me claiming to know the character better than anyone when everyone has different headcanons and can believe literally anything about a character but regardless, a headcanon is a headcanon and we each have differing ones. X

In the trash - Bucky Barnes

Summary: Reader decides to try and scare Bucky

Prompt: “Stop laughing and help me out of the trash can. I think my foot is stuck in a coffee cup.”

Warnings: Swearing as per usual

Originally posted by 107th-infantry

So here I am. Sat in a bin. A literal bin. All Sam’s idea to prank Bucky. If I was honest, I’d say I was scared. Bucky was a deadly assassin after all. Sam told me that hiding in a bin outside the coffee shop James goes to every morning would be the perfect prank. To jump out at him when he walks past. What I didn’t know was that Sam had told Bucky. It was all just for Sam to get me into a bin and humiliate myself. 


I’ve been sat here an hour. For fucks sake. How long does it take for Bucky to get to the coffee shop. The shop isn’t even ten minutes away. I already had rubbish being thrown in and landing on me. It stunk. After another half an hour I gave up. Throwing the lid up and standing as best I could to get out. I couldn’t. I was stuck. A groan fell from my lips, along with a whine. I then heard laughter.

Looking up, my eyes caught on the metal armed assassin sat on a bench a few strides away. Coffee cup beside him. Arms folded against his chest. In all honesty he looked good, he always did. I whined again and flipped him off, pulling one foot out and putting it down onto the pavement. My other leg was caught on something. “Jaaaames!” I exclaimed, he just continued to laugh. It was nice hearing him laugh. But at this current time, it was just plain annoying. 

“Stop laughing and help me out of the trash can. I think my foot is stuck in a coffee cup.”

I saw him roll his eyes and stand up, heading over and placing his hands under my arms. Picking me up and placing me down on back on my feet again. “You stink.” He sing songed, there was a glimmer of happiness in his eyes. That was always rare but I liked seeing it. Especially because I had made that happiness show in him. I stuck my tongue out at him, to which one of his metal digits poked my tongue. A yelp left my lips as I jumped back, causing him to laugh again. I hadn’t seen Bucky this happy in a long time. Not since he locked Sam in the bathroom for the day. Which in all honesty, was hilarious hearing Sam’s complaints through out the day, then the numerous phone calls until the battery in his phone drained. 

“When we get back I’m showering then you’re watching a movie with me. Understand Barnes?” I chuckled, James just jokingly saluted. Rolling my eyes, I just grabbed his hand and dragged him in the direction of the tower. “You know Sam told me that you were there.” I heard him chime, groaning I huffed. “No, but you have to help me get back at him for that.” He rose a brow. “And what’s in it for me eh?” 

“A kiss.” 

“Can I get that now?”

“Kiss on the cheek for now.” Then I leant up and kissed his cheek before proceeding to drag him toward the tower again. 


So I’m an expensive cheap-ass and this is how I buy a lot of my stuff. I look up what I need, try and find a store that will pay me to shop, do a lot of price matching, then I see if I can get a discount giftcard for that store.

I planned my vacation through this (my total will be higher once I check out of my hotels), ordered stuff for my new place that was needed (I literally got 75% off total a Greek shag rug that got here last night), buy Sephora, Amazon, general grocery giftcards and then use the links to get more back, etc. You can link your card to them and shop in stores you might just walk around when you get to the mall. If you use my referral link you get a 10$ giftcard that gives you some store options to pick from.

Buying giftcards off giftcardgranny you can make an account and get a sort of ‘cash back’ program. You get points for buying giftcards through them and just being logged in during. I only found this option maybe the last few weeks. The whole site is basically a collection of where the giftcards are, on what sites, and which ones have the highest discount option.

My best friend works at Walmart so I’ve been having her buy Walmart giftcards so she can use them for her lunch breaks with her discount. 3% off doesn’t seem like a lot but if she saves a dollar or two then that’s her lunch for another day.

Living social and groupon should get mentions. They actually both give cash back through ebates but I’ve been using them alone for years. I’ve really been using the hell out of both of them for this vacation but you can get discount food, haircuts, I used it to get cool sculpting in Denver. Also most of the places if you call ahead they’ll take cash at the online rate and some of the more expensive vouchers might even give you another treatment/session whatever. If the promotion expires before you use it then it just becomes like a giftcard for that business. They work about the same way but some have better deals in different cities than others so I check both.

It might sound like I’m plugging for them but I’ve only been using ebates for like 2 months or so now and giftcard sites/livingsocial doesn’t have referral bonuses. Even if you’re hella broke its good to use. 1% back at Walmart or Etsy online will add up to more than you had for shit you were already going to buy and then you can get giftcards to make it less on top of that. I make almost all of my purchases online so I deff benefit on the high end of it but if you just put the widget on your browser it’ll do the whole thing for you. I really wish I knew about especially the giftcard buying when I was broke. It’s a few extra steps but to me it’s totally worth it.



http://gr.pn/2azlbFO https://m.livingsocial.com/cities/1-washington-d-c/deals

anonymous asked:

I swear if I didnt know any better i would swear you were Jared himself. I know you arent him obvy but you guys are so similar. espcially with the way you both type.... on that facebook post Jared did the quotation mark thing "thing" like u do all the time. And what Jared was saying about fame has been stuff u been saying for a while now. u guys literally used almost the same words. you make me suspicious.



- K

arcanaxcix  asked:

Everyone thinks Jason would be the one making McCree jokes & puns & memes but that's really Tim because tHIS NERD LOVES COWBOYS. Dick loves Widowmaker for being a really cool shot, that's literally it. Jason is actually torn between Mercy (NO ONE LOOKS OUT FOR ANGEL MOM, I SWEAR) & Bastion (*SCREAMS*) And Damien is the chillest with (Mei-- NAH) Zenyatta and everyone but no one is honestly surprised. Bruce defeats them all with skills & W I N S T O N. Or 76. Give him anyone & he'll beat your ass




he’s so dramatic

I really don’t understand why so many Louis fans feel the need to be so mean to Danielle?

You don’t like her? That’s fine. But it’s no reason to tear down every single thing the girl does. I’ve literally seen people trashing everything she does. From the way she dresses, to the way she use social media, to the way she talks, to her career. Everything. I swear the girl could die and people would say that she had a tacky coffin.

I know so much of it has to do with believing Louis is in the closet. I know how much everyone cares about Louis. But being mean to his girlfriend doesn’t solve anything. It’s hurtful. And shameful.

My sister once told me being mean to someone in situations like this is pointless because “there’s no prize for being right.” Being mean and being right will earn you absolutely nothing in this context. It’s much better to show kindness and find out you’re wrong.

I’m not blameless, and I’m not perfect. But if I witnessed this type of behavior in real life, I’d say something. The internet is no different.

I truly want to thank everyone for like, literally everything. The kind messages, the help you’ve all given me throughout the year, and just everything in between. This has been a strange time in my life, and perhaps in everyone’s life, but all the kindness I’ve seen will never be forgotten, I swear. If I could make it up to every single one of you, I would, I do not deserve such sweetness, but you all still give it to me. Thank you so so much.

man these freelancing sites are like “you should charge below minimum wage” i’m literally a fucking software developer here you want me to ask for minimum wage for part time freelance gigs with 0 job security or benefits i would literally be better off working retail what are you ppl on i swear to god

i’m almost 300 pounds. if i were a gem steven universe writers would have me safely tucked away in a bubble and demonizing sideplot before i could even make this post lmfao meanwhile i want to kill myself and my biggest delusions during manic episodes are that i’ve hurt or lost my friends lol!

fat people aren’t inherently violent or evil or foolish or shortfused fuck this show and fuck the fact that they got rid of two gorgeous characters with so much potential to do good for fat kids literally in back to back episodes, every large character is a stereotype, every character that looks like me is binned after like 10 lines

ok one more i swear to jesus himself

omg omg please tell me everyone else that’s played zen’s route also got that super sugary sweet phone call i did where i was like


that’s it

i’m done

i’m going to die of sugar overdose

where ok ok ok like if you respond with muah right omg

o m g

someone pls i’m drowning in feels i literally cannot even deal with it dear god like how was his response so fucking innocent yet lewd at the same time/????///?/? why would you do this to me WHY

and then at the end of the call where he’s just like ok i’m going to count down from three i was like FUCK YOU CHERITZ YOU LITERALLY KNOW NONE OF US ARE GOING TO HANG UP ON HIM YOU EVIL FOLKS YOU

and he’s just like it’s lonely to hear the dialtone o m f g o m f g you demon man how dare you fuck up my life like this

this is why i should never date fictional boys ugh shoot me

ok also i’m sorry was i really just given “my babe’s love is so ginormous it just oozes out of the messenger” as a legitimate conversation option because

obviously i picked it but-

waitingformybucky  asked:

Wait, not showering is a symptom of depression? That explains a lot, everyday I find out about more symptoms of depression and I'm becoming more and more convinced I have depression because I have a lot of those symptoms. It would be nice if someone took me seriously about it for once.

There’s so many less talked about symptoms for these things I swear literally any time I think something is slightly out of the ordinary, I’ll google it and it will turn out to be a symptom of either depression or anxiety. I straight up thought I had a serious personality disorder for ages because I don’t form attachments to people but turns out that’s just a less common symptom of anxiety?? Who fuckin knew??