• Sweeney Todd:People are shit
  • Mrs. Lovitt:My pies are shit
  • Sweeney Todd:The Judge is shit
  • Mrs. Lovitt:My business is shit
  • *gasp and look at each other*
  • Sweeney Todd:r u thinking what i am thinking?
  • Mrs. Lovitt:romantic getaway on the beach?
  • Sweeney Todd:wait what?
  • Mrs. Lovitt:what huh i didn't say anything let's make human meat pies hahaha ily

[[ “Like a gift from the heavens
It was easy to tell
It was love from above that could save me from hell
She had fire in her soul
It was easy to see
How the devil himself could be pulled out of me
There were drums in the air as she started to dance
Every soul in the room keeping time with their hands”


 Never before have i shipped a poke-pairing so hard.

Argyris belongs to aurealillium]]

snowing-willow asked:

Okay, so... I've followed you for awhile (love your work) and I've played Dragon Age and know the whole story. HOWEVER, could you please explain Garrus? Or the fascination with him. I probably sound very stupid but I've never played Mass Effect, nor do I know anything about it so... Why is he so sexy to everyone? I don't understand.

(Thanks for reading! <3)

Um, where to start? I’ve never had to consciously put organized thought into it, but I’ll try.

WHY GARRUS IS THE ONLY (TURIAN) MAN FOR MY SHEPARD, A SERIES OF POINTS BY TINYFIERCE

Let me preface this by saying that these are only my personal reasons, and that they might not be the same - or even close to - anyone else’s. And this list is by no means comprehensive, just summing up the big ones for me.

Point the first: I am a total sucker for the friends-turned-lovers narrative

Shakarian is a classic example of this romantic trope, and I welcome it with open arms. The friendship starts off as a partnership/mentorship of sorts, when Garrus joins the crew as a young, idealistic C-sec officer full of drive and faith in the system. He very clearly looks up to Shepard, who breaks all the rules and kicks some serious ass doing so. And as they track down Saren together, they definitely have the potential for the bond of ultimate bros. It takes a lot of trust for my Shep (a vanguard, for ease of illustration) to take the mid- and close-range battle positions and leave the cover/sniping to someone else. Garrus is that someone.

By the second game, Shepard is dead and Garrus’ method of mourning is a far cry from weepy acceptance and moping - he follows Shepard’s example, taking things into his own hands and sticking it to the scum of the galaxy with a ragtag band of mercs. When they meet again, they’re equals, and he’s a total BAMF. 

Shit goes down between them in ME2, reflecting the changing nature of their relationship. He’s a bit older, a bit angrier, and he has an axe to grind. But he’s still himself and it shows in the conflicts and discussions they have. Sidonis is the big one, and Garrus reacts to Shepard’s decisions accordingly.

He’s still the most loyal motherfucker, though. They have a shared history of hell and high water, and even seeing Shepard with Cerberus, his immediate response is “I know you. You probably have a damn good reason.” The other romanceable squadmates don’t share that faith - Kaidan and Ashley drop Shep like a hot potato, and Liara, well… Liara’s involvement and resulting trust issues are a whole other kettle of fish.

So after all of that, Shepard can walk into anything with Garrus - even having sex and possibly love outside their respective species. One line in particular, when he expresses concerns about the logistics and suggests she find something a little closer to home, sticks out: “I don’t want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust.”

And it’s at the word ‘trust’ that he’s 100% on board. Like, ‘yeah, this is what this is about. Trust, and the two of us.’

They were friends, and they’re going to try this new thing with the best person they know. Can’t get better than that.


Point the second: His sense of humor

His dry sense of humor, especially as it develops throughout the games, is pretty on par with what makes me (and also my canon Shepard) laugh. Some choice examples: 

(When Grunt is brought to Tuchanka for his adulthood ritual)
“So this is adolescence? Can’t we just take him to Omega and buy him a few dances?”

(Tuchanka again)
Garrus: “Hospitals aren’t fun to fight through.”
Shepard: “What is fun to fight through?”
Garrus: “Gardens, electronic shops. Antique stores, but only if they’re classy.”

(On Illium)
“Wait, We can disobey suicidal orders? Why wasn’t I told?“

(On the Citadel)
Shepard: “I suppose we could catch a Hanar poetry reading.”
Garrus: “No offense, but if the end of the galaxy is coming, I’m not going out on the phrase ‘This One feels like a flower.’”

Also, the jokes he cracks with squadmates are always pretty good. Snappy, dry, and sarcastic. Good humor cocktail.

Point the third: Cool and smooth in combat, awkward as fuck in love

This is another thing that hits me right in the heart-place. When fighting, Garrus is surehanded, even cocky about his abilities. He’s skilled. He knows it. And he never hesitates. His combat banter reflects that, as do his interactions with the crew. Smooth fucking operator with a gun and a stealth cloak, that’s Garrus Vakarian. But when it comes to Shepard:

Garrus: yeah, you know, tied with the best hand-to-hand combat specialist when we sparred, nbd
Shepard: we should fuck
Garrus: …?
Shepard: (hits him with a brick)
Garrus: ohhhhhhh

And it’s not that he doesn’t want to be with her. Far from it, as can be seen from the changes in his expression and tone when telling her that hells yes, he wants to try. But his fledgling attempts at romance?

Garrus: [okay try and be romantic]
Garrus: Murdering things metaphor. But for sex.
Garrus: [fuck]

Garrus: [keep the talk sexy]
Garrus: I’ll look up some vids on interspecies copulation data.
Garrus: [nice, asshole]

Garrus: [steamy talk is part of human foreplay, casanova that shit up]
Garrus: That thing you have is… nice. And that other body part looks… supportive.
Garrus: [goddamnit vakarian]

It’s hilariously endearing to see him so far removed from his element, yet so earnest. And Shepard doesn’t make fun of him or turn him down, instead just grinning along with it and knowing that being able to read him like a book is a beautiful thing.

He does gain some confidence and a few good moves by ME3, but he still has the occasional slip-ups and classic Vakarian-In-Love moments that characterize his romance.

Point the fourth: The voice

The developers chose to use flanging for Turian voices, which is a) cool as shit and b) very pleasing to my ear. Garrus in particular has a rich voice, and the tones they use are really great for his deadpan delivery.

Though I suppose the voice is more about Turians in general rather than Garrus specifically, but his voice is very appealing. His actor also did a bang-up job, and that kind of rough, gravelled quality is something I really enjoy.

Point the fifth: Respect

This is an important, if not the most important aspect of his romance for me, though it may seem counterintuitive: if you decide that the Garrus train is not for you, he hears the word ‘no’ and is a total fucking mensch about it.

I think the best illustration of this is when you first recruit him back in ME3, and if you romanced him in ME2, he knocks on that door. Remember being together? He does. It was a good thing, and he wants to keep it going.

But maybe you don’t feel the same. Maybe you romanced someone else on ME1 and that torch is still burning now that they’re back in your life. Maybe you just want to focus on the mission. Maybe the answer is ‘no,’ and you don’t have or want to give a reason.

Totally understood, he says as you tell him it was what it was. No pressing, no ‘but whyyyyy’ or stomping or anger, just do what you need to do and he’ll be with you 100% of the way. 

That is a rare bird, indeed. Rare space bird.

To sum up: Garrus’ writing hits all of my ‘hells yes’ humor, consent, and intimacy buttons. Shep and Garrus forever.

(Hope that answers your question!)