I never know who they are I just have to hide them

princess-unipeg  asked:

Is Moon aware of Eclipsa’s monster hybrid child? If she knew she might have only bluffed about St.O’s school and might never actually sent Star there so that both of them would never meet? Did the Commission sent said child to that school and expect her to just die of old age not taking account of her monster longevity? Is Meteora gonna challenge the Butterfly family for the throne now that she knows who she is?

Rhombulus clearly knew something about the Monster Sanctuary, and possibly about the existence of Meteora, but I got the impression no one knew she was Mrs. Heinous, and that she managed (I don’t know when or how) to conceal her identity for centuries. Apparently not being aware about it herself - we don’t know WHEN she lost memories though, if that happened when she was a baby, or more recently, after having already spent hundreds of years hiding.

“I have shit to do, see you never.”

I wish I had these messages saved, but I don’t. This was the last message I got from my first ex in 2015.
I broke up with him in August of 2015, and started dating in late July. My mum, sister and I usually go camping with some family friends, and one of them had a son who brought him. I was really young though, even if it was two years ago. We hit it off relatively quickly, and started dating within a couple days of knowing each other. He never even formally asked me out, it just happened. At this camp site, there was a slope and then a sod patch. Since the adults didn’t go down there and we tried to hide it (very badly, everyone knew) that was where we spend our time together most of the time.

He was very touchy feely, but I didn’t think much of it. He would grab my boobs a lot, but not the nice way. He’d grab them as if they were an ass on my chest, ya feel? He constantly wanted to make out and I wasn’t really digging it but I didn’t want to upset him or something so I didn’t say anything. Once we were making out and he’d try to run his hand up my leg and to my crotch, but I moved it every time and I’m pretty sure I verbally told him to stop at one point. He didn’t stop though. I’ll remember this for the rest of my life and fuck, I even remember what I was wearing when he did it. He fingered my ass through my pajama pants and didn’t ask, but I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say, because he was my boyfriend so I assumed it was okay, so I just let him. I was assaulted. But I didn’t realize until a few months later. We camped for about a week before the camping trip was over.
In the first weekend of August there was a convention and I convinced him to come with me. Whenever I hung out with him during the convention, he was incredibly touchy feely around my friends. I don’t know if he was doing it to show everyone I was his or something, but it made me super uncomfortable. (And even before that, when we got back from the camping trip, every time he texted me and I wouldn’t reply, after a couple minutes he’d text ‘hello?’ or ‘are you there?’ This was another reason I broke it off. ) On the Saturday there was a dance at around 10PM. He was there and while I was talking to one of my new friends at the time (I had just met him at the convention, same day I believe) I mentioned how I just needed to break up with him. And I did.
Months after we broke up, he’d message me ‘hey’ every 2 weeks or so, but I’d never reply. One day I did, and we talked for awhile. After this, I was talking to my best friend about what happened on the sod patch, when I was assaulted. She was the one that told me I had been assaulted. I was so upset, and I wanted to yell at him, but I didn’t.
A little while after that, he messaged me again and I started talking to him, we ended getting in an argument. He believed there wasn’t a grey area between being rude and polite (that’s all I remember from the argument. ) I was so tempted to mention he assaulted me, but I didn’t. At that point he was fed up and sent the message above. I never replied.
Two years later, I still don’t think he knows he assaulted me, but he did and I fucking hate him for it. I want to talk to him, but just to yell at him. I want to beat the shit out of him. He goes to a different high school than me, thank fucking god, but I wish I could tell him what he did to me, even though I know he’ll deny it. Fuck him.

Aries: Sometimes you just have to let things go. Let places and people disappear from your memory. Let people walk away from you, as much as it feels like their ripping part of you out with them. You don’t need them to function. You don’t need them to make the sun rise and set. You don’t need them to see that the stars still shine in the night sky. You only need yourself and a pair of eyes. 

Taurus: You aren’t stuck forever. I know it feels that way. But you are not trapped in this hell. You will get out. Even if you have to claw yourself out with bloody fingernails and bruised skin. But you WILL get out. You will pull through to things much bigger then this. Every new step is terrifying, but you will get there. You will make something of yourself.

Gemini: Stop opening the door for ghosts that you aren’t even sure you want in your life. You can’t revive them just to force them back into a tomb. Make up your mind if you want to be friends with the past, or bury it forever. Either way is totally fine, but every time you half dig up skeleton, you just leave everyone with old wounds. Open up all the old scars and leave fresh blood on the floor. There’s no right or wrong choice, but there is a choice you have to make.

Cancer: It won’t be this hard forever. You won’t need that vice for all of eternity. It’s okay to need a crutch every once in awhile. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to be fucking desperate sometimes. You do not have to always be the strong one. Always be the brave one. Always be the fucking okay one. You can let yourself collapse under the weight of this world every once in awhile.

Leo:  Do not let them use you to bury their pain. You are not their whipping post. You are not their cemetery.  They can not use you when it is convenient for them to hide secrets and agony. You don’t owe them shit. They can not hold you down and force feed you every painful moment they can’t handle.  You are much better then everything their putting you through. 

Virgo : The future is never quite certain. It’s always a little bit terrifying. Always a little bit anxiety causing. You’re making the right steps. Stop doubting your footing. You’ve gotten through the worst of the storm. Time to celebrate, and move forward. Always keep moving forward. Always keep going on even when it feels like terror is around every corner.

Libra:  Set backs are temporary. Pain is temporary. Even baby steps are huge accomplishments. I know it feels like shit right now. Know it feels like the world is ending. But sweetie, you’ve survived the apocalypse before. You can do it again. And again. And then again. As many times as it takes. You are going to get through this rough patch too. Just like all the other times.

Scorpio:  Self hatred and self destruction will never get you where you need to go. You can’t run on spite forever. Eventually the candle of self anguish will burn itself out. You have to start healing. Have to start saying all of the hardest things in life, even though it hurts. Even though it makes you cry. Even if sometimes it feels like you’re going to die. Recovery is hard but dying is harder.

Sagittarius: If they don’t need you, you are so much better then them. The way they see you is not how you are. It is not your fault if they can’t figure out your worth. You don’t need them to thrive. Even if no one sees your beauty, you are still gorgeous. Still shining as bright as the stars. You don’t need anyone to recognize that. You don’t need them admit you shine to be brighter then all of them. 

Capricorn: Your past doesn’t define you, but it did make you who you are. You don’t have to live in it, but at least fucking acknowledge what happened. What brought you here. What gave you those scars, and what gave you those laugh lines. You can acknowledge your past and who you use to be, without becoming that person all over again. You are better then that now.

Aquarius: Coming home is not a defeat. You did something most people only dream of. Sometimes all you can do is grab on to plan B and make it work. Doesn’t mean that you are a failure because plan A failed. You tried your absolute hardest. You still won. So come back. Enjoy the sanctuary while we have it.

Pisces: If you’re going to cut people out, you can’t just be uncommitted. You can’t decide one minute you’re done only to open up the door the next. Make up your mind and stick to it. Bar the doors. Throw out the vodka. Turn off your phone. Wait this out. Take however long you need to break their spell over you.

—  This Weeks Horoscope

Man Up

by reddit user Pippinacious

When the bookstore at the mall put up its help wanted posters, I jumped at the chance to put in my application. Between being an avid reader who had practically lived amongst the store’s shelves in high school and a broke community college student taking a semester off to save money, it seemed still customer service.

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WHY IT MAKES NO SENSE TO HATE ON BTS??!

Jimin is friends with Shinee’s Taemin, Exo’s Kai and Chanyeol, Wanna One Sungwoon. Jungkook is friend with Got7’s Bambam and Yugyeom, NCT’s Jaehyun, Seventeen Mingyu. Taehyung is friends with Shinee’s Minho, ZE: A Park Hyun Shik, BTOB’s Sungjae, EXO’s Suho and Baekhyun, GOT7’s Mark, VIXX’s Hongbin. Jin is friends with B1A4’s Sandeul and VIXX’s Ken. Namjoon is very close to Got7’s Jackson too. Jhope is friends with BAP’s Zelo, Bigstar’s Sunghak, and Ha Sungwoon from Hotshot and also Got7’s JB. Suga is friends with Super Junior’s Heechul. And there are MORE I didn’t mention.

Originally posted by jeonheart

BTS are literally close with all the big male groups rn. They all love and support each other. Most groups meet up during music shows and award shows and get close. V said “When Suho was hosting a music show, we’d say hello a lot, and our promotions often overlapped. If you meet someone a lot for a show, it seems like you just get close somehow. You smile and support each other.” Most of them keep in touch despite their busy schedules and meet up as soon as they can. Jimin, Kai and Taemin even designed their squad logo and Jackets.

Originally posted by yoonmin

So I don’t get it when fans attack BTS! My ask is full now of ARMYs being sad because of fanwars, and this happens more EVERY YEAR around this time *cough* award shows *cough*. How would you feel if the people who like you are also the ones hating on your dear friends? Seriously, Kpop is music too. It’s meant to bring people together not start WWIII. 

Originally posted by biastobeat

Yes, there is competition to win awards and so on but competition is in school, work, and sports … Does it mean you will curse at your classmates if they got better grades? 

Originally posted by hana-mori-posts

Why not instead turn it into a motivation to do better next time while being good sports and congratulate the winner.I mean we should all be like this.

Originally posted by irpsychotic

I know how people online hide behind anonymity and can become bravely rude. I know how anger makes us say things we should have never said. but all fandoms please take note including ARMY: Even if your words get forgotten with time that stain on the fandom’s name and image just gets more apparent and ugly. At the end of the day, are you helping your group or ruining them? 

Originally posted by jinmini

Imagine all the great stages and collaborations we could have gotten and the opportunities we could have opened to our boys if we stood together. 

Originally posted by fansfiction

I always heard "It’s impossible for fandoms to get along”. Did anyone even try? I will not ask for everyone to magically act kinder and support each other just like our idols do. Nor become all friends. Just ONE thing: Let’s ALL be respectful. If you feel stressed go listen to your group’s music not start arguments. I am sure it can be soothing. If after all this you still want to carry the hate I will not fight you. There is “Nothing more left to say, don’t even apologize. No need to see each other ever again, this is my last goodbye”

Originally posted by alwayscasualfan

Have a great week everyone ^^ 

By @mimibtsghost

Keith Kogan: A Portrayal of Homosexuality Done Right

I always tell people that Voltron is a lot more clever than it gets credit for. It can spin a cliche/trope on it’s head beautifully, and while all the characters are easily digestible archetypes (i.e: the nerd, the loner), the creators add layers to them that not only make them feel like real people, but also makes social commentary on those very archetypes.

In no better way do they do this than with the character of Keith.

Before I get into how and why Keith deviates from you’re typical gay male protagonist, I want to establish as a fact that Keith is homosexual.

If you don’t see - what I consider to be - blatant evidence that Keith’s gay, well, I can’t say I blame you. Most people have ingrained heteronormative lenses, meaning they’ll miss the subtext of homosexual characters. Us in the LGBT community are much more attuned to seeing these because, well, for one, we’re queer, and two, because up until around the 1960s, the portrayal of gay characters in the media was illegal and could only be shown subtextually.

So it makes sense that people overlook the very nuanced portrayal of Keith’s sexuality, but if you’re willing to take off those lenses, it’s certainly there.

The first standout appearance of this is in season 1 episode 6: Taking Flight. Or as I like to call it, the day the shows name officially changed to Gaytron: Legendary Homosexuals

I think one of the disconnects for some viewers is that they don’t completely grasp the saying, “Show don’t tell,” the mantra of pretty much every writer. Not always, but typically, showing is better than telling. Or more accurately, telling needs to be used at the correct times and for the right reasons.

So how do they show us that Keith’s gay in this episode? Through three things, body language, actions, and juxtaposition.

You don’t have to be a body language specialist to understand the clear meaning behind Keith’s posture. Leaning, looking someone up and down, and a small, lingering smile/smirk are all subconscious signs of attraction. They’re also common ways of depicting male attraction in the media.

Speaking of depicting male attraction, lets look at how Lance’s flirts in the same episode.

Leaning. Check. Lingering smile. Check. Engaged eye contact. Check. The biggest difference is how blatant they are in their intentions, but that comes down to pure character difference. Keith is self assured and more genuinely confident. He also has a lot of walls up and isn’t so open. While Lance puts on a show/over compensates so that he might appear cool. You can also see this in their respective ‘I’m-checking-you-out’ postures. Lance’s body is open, he’s engaged and his eyes are on Nyma’s eyes. While Keith’s posture is interested, but more in an appreciative way. His body is closed off, and instead of looking Rolo in the eyes, he looks at his - um - physique. This is really fitting for Keith’s character, who again, has walls, and who also puts this mission first, and most likely has no intention of letting this attraction lead to anything other than having a nice piece of eye candy around for a couple of hours.

This is textbook juxtaposition. So moving along now.

I don’t want this to be a shippy post, so I won’t add all the times I think Keith shows attraction towards Lance, but I do want to mention this scene.

The use of the rainbow(the most recognizable symbol in the gay community) over lapping the bi flag colors is relevant for the same reason why the use of purple to symbolize the Galra is relevant. Purple represents royalty, imperialism, but also gloom and danger. The use of these colors and symbols are conscious choices.

While the above scene shows that Keith is attracted to men, this scene shows that Keith is also not attracted to woman.

What I love about this scene is that it’s such a cliche, and like I said up above, Voltron is good at turning those on their head. Here they utilize the tiered and true trope of accidentally falling into each others arms. If this was a hetero-centric Romcom than this moment would’ve been obviously meant to establish attraction, but instead, it does the opposite. Rather Keith personally likes Allura or not, she’s a knock out. So, if he’s attracted to women at all, and isn’t use to having that contact- which hes not - he should be at least somewhat shocked/flustered. If it had been an attractive guy that fell into Keith’s arms, I have no doubt that his reactions would be something beyond that blank stare. Considering he literally gasps every time Lance touches him

The last piece of “evidence” I want to show isn’t as blatant and may just be my perspective, but it’s worth mentioning.

The themes of Keith’s Galra arc are very reminiscent to coming out. He’s discovering parts of himself. He’s internalizing and hiding away said parts. He’s scared of what the people he cares about will think of him when they find out. If this is intentional, it’s brilliant, because while Voltron is set in a futurist world where sexuality is supposedly not an Issue, it still is for the youth of today. Meaning by having these similar themes, Keith becomes more relatable to LGBT people.

This is the part where, if you still don’t think Keith’s gay, I’ll have to calmly yet firmly ask you to get off my fucking lawn. For the rest of you, onward to victory!!!

LGBT individuals have a history of being badly represented in the media, especially now that gay characters have become a marketing strategy for a more progressive consumer base. Their whole character is often reduced to stereotypes or used as a giant walking gay pride flag that reads: look at us, we’re hip and with the times. Meaning, the majority of these characters plots and personalities are based solely on their sexuality. Which is a problem, because not only does it not help to normalize homosexuality, but it’s just not relatable to LGBT people.

I’ll give you an example. My mom’s a lesbian. She married to a woman and has two daughters, one who is trans and one who is bi. But despite how “gay"her life may seem, she very rarely describes herself as that way. She’s not active in LGBT issues. She doesn’t involve herself in the community. Shes not lesbian first and everything else afterward, and she is certainly not alone in that experience. Don’t get me wrong, LGBT individuals are more aware of their sexuality than cishet people, but it’s typically only because others point it out and remind us that its not "normal.” Still, for a lot of LGBT people, our sexuality is just one part of our personal narrative, not the whole damn book.

Another problem with LGBT representations is that their often just built off of stereotypes. Gay men are feminized and their sexuality is typically made the butt of a joke. They are shown as being promiscuous and having commitment issues. These are the standards.

But Keith abolishes all of those, and in such a seamless way too.

While Keith’s character is in no way excessively macho, he’s certainly not feminine either. He doesn’t mind getting sweaty. He’s temperamental and has anger issue. He lived a pretty low maintenance life in a desert shack, sleeps in his jeans like a heathen, and probably uses a dagger to peel oranges. Keith is a masculine character. He’s confident and self assured, but not vain. He’s emotional, but in a very private way. Whereas many other portrayal of gay men depict them as almost theatrically sensitive, confident, but only in their sexual prowess, and self absorbed, but only when it come to their looks and not when it comes to their skills.

This is already an impressive deviation, but what really makes Keith’s portrayal stand out is the way his sexuality is but a mere footnote in what makes his character his character, and how that fits into his personality and story arc so well.

The first thing you have to realize about Keith is that, while he certainly wants to connect with people, it’s not his number one priority. He has barriers. He fears rejection, and despite wanting to feel as if he belongs, its not hard to see how Keith has been conditioned to assume he’ll inevitability be left behind, and therefore places personal relationships low on his list of priorities. Meaning, yes, he was checking out Rolo, and yes, I believe that he’s very very fond of Lance, but I can’t imagine that Keith really sees these relationships becoming something substantial or romantic, and thus doesn’t put too much effort into perusing them. You can really tell what’s important to a character by what they focus their time on. Take Lance for instance, he’s a character who blatantly cares about friendships and has no problem openly flirting. That’s not to say Lance doesn’t care about the war, just like Keith’s reluctance to pursue meaningful bonds doesn’t mean he doesn’t want them. It just means that relationships and love obviously mean a lot to Lance.

So what does Keith focus on? Well, he shows the most focus on relationships in season one, when the connections he had with his makeshift family was the post pressing thing going on. (You cant really form Voltron if you don’t connect with the other members) But after season one, with all the changes Keith goes through, we see a big shift in his priorities. First he finds out about his heritage, then Shiro disappears and he is thrust into leadership, and then most recently, he joins the Blade.

By framing Keith’s character like this, it allows the creators to make his sexuality natural and relatable in a very interesting way. Because as LGBT people know, our sexuality isn’t the most important part of our lives. Just like Keith, we have more to focus on.

That’s not to say that his sexuality will never be shown explicitly. Like I said, I don’t want to get too shippy, but I truly believe that Laith is endgame. So if and when that happens, his sexuality will naturally come into play. Sadly, their will be a lot of people who call it forced because they missed the subtext and are use to seeing gay characters depicted more as spectacles than real people.

Voltron has really done something special here. They’ve create a universe where sexuality isn’t an issue, and they make it believable by never bringing it up outside of naturally occurring, unforced, appropriate context. Even better, because the Voltron universe is so vastly different than our own, it would’ve been easy to make LGBT characters that we couldn’t relate to, but they don’t. They manage this so well that I honestly can’t phantom Keith’s sexuality being anything but homosexual despite the fact it’s never been explicitly shown.

But most importantly, they’re creating a higher standard for LGBT representation. They are normalizing it on a show aimed towards children who are heavily influenced by the media they consume.


That, my friends, is worth applauding.

BTS replaced you. - pt.2

[pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3] [pt.END]


Originally posted by fairybcby

After the conversation we shared I muted the conversation, there was nothing I wanted to hear anymore and nothing I wanted to do but sleep. I was curious of what they had to say, if anything at all but at the same time I didn’t want to know because they probably don’t think it’s a big deal they’ve missed my birthday three years in a row. I sat at my dining room table, staring at the candlelit cake in front of me. It was their favourite, strawberry flavour and just looking at it reminded me of them and how they won’t be here again to share this too large cake for one with me.

For so long I believed that we were best friends, that we were inseparable and nothing or no one could come between the friendship we shared because we had been through so much with one another. But I was wrong. They let her get between us. I don’t want to be a selfish brat that I’m seeming to be, but they just forgot me so easily after spending a week with her, wouldn’t that hurt you? They used to be the first people to say happy birthday to me, even if they were away they’d never forget to FaceTime me at 12am - but this year, even though we were supposed to celebrate, they didn’t call at 12, they didn’t send me a text. Because they forgot, and they left me waiting for them like a fool standing outside the restaurant in the winter cold holding my own birthday cake. They promised. They promised that they were going to celebrate with me this year for sure, they even made sure they had no schedule clashes today so that we could celebrate, but just like that they forgot and I was replaced with someone new, someone better.

People looked at me funny, people who walked into the restaurant, had their meal and came back out to see me still standing there alone - they all looked at me with pity in their eyes. ‘That girl must’ve got stood up’ must be what they were all thinking. Yeah I was stood up by my seven best friends. The entire week they’ve been hanging out, the entire week they’ve dismissed me. ‘If it was important we would have remembered’ ‘Clearly wasn’t all that important’, that hurt to say the least, it only told me how much I didn’t mean to them, making it clear to me that they don’t need me in their lives anymore because they have someone new, someone that let’s them have the personal space that they needed and I understood now. I was only ever thinking of myself and what I wanted. Maybe they didn’t forget, maybe this was their way to tell me that our friendship is over. 

I blew out the candle without making a wish, wishes don’t come true. I’ve wished for the same thing the last two years and each following year I end up getting disappointed. I crawled into bed and went to sleep, eyes slightly wet from crying. But a few hours later, I heard my phone ring; I picked up without even checking the caller ID. 

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Peridot, Lapis and The Land Where Nothing Grows

So yeah. Stevenbomb 8 was about breaking up and grieving. I think Peridot’s feelings regarding her relationship with Lapis, her grieving and her way of dealing with both of those things were explained to us in one of the most beautiful metaphors  she show has used yet: Back to the kindergarden. 

I think that last piece of dialogue at the end of the episode actually reflect Lapis and Peridot’s relationship, as well as the posibility for both of them to move on. Here’s what I mean:

I. RELATIONSHIP: “I was a fool to think we could reinstitute life there”

“Guess the country side here is really beautiful…but who cares?! I wanted to have this for the kindergarden!”

Lapis, as we know, is a deeply damaged individual. She has never actually confronted her traumas, never dealt with her feelings and so we have her circling back to defense mechanisms whenever something slightly threatening shows. Her first instint is to fly the fuck away and never be seen or heard of again because if they can’t find you, they can’t hurt you, throw you to war or trap you in a fusion or a mirror. She has “safe” tattooed on her brain, and while none of these things make her a bad person™, they do make her someone who should seek out help before making harsh decissions. 

Peridot, on the other hand, is shown to have gone above and beyond- not neccessarily a good thing- to make Lapis happy, to make her feel safe, to provide that bubble-like environment that would give her security and would make sure that nothig bad or threatening ever, ever, EVER, touched her again. She found more artistic outlets as substitutes for her creative, curious mind. She stayed away from CG business (mostly), and instead gardened and grew a wall of crops. She made everything domestic, soft and quiet. In her never ending fear (bc Peridot is shown to be fucking frightened of inconveniencing Lapis) of disturbing Lapis in anyway, Peridot behaved like and enabler, lost herself in the bubble that did nothing to prevent Lapis from losing herself as well. 

Lapis and Peridot’s relationship is the land where nothing grows. Is the product of hiding from yourself, running from your issues, numbing your emotions, being afraid of the other. Nothing good can grow there, nothing will bloom in a foundation that lacks equality, communication and trust. 

The moment Peridot gets emotional, Lapis invalidates her. The moment she starts being anything other than the goofy, soft and slightly quirky gem and shows herself as a complex individual with worry, fears and irrational attatchments, Lapis can’t deal, so she snaps. And Peridot doesn’t know how not to be  an enabler either. This was doomed to fail but still they tried. Peridot tried, Lapis too, in her own way, and damn, it still ended.  

Originally posted by ask-futureboyzoltron

II. GRIEF: “once you messed something up, it’s ruined for good and nothing will be able to grow again!”

This one’s pretty self explanatory: Is the classical post- breakup hopelessness. If you failed so bad at something you loved so much, then obviously nothing’s going to work out for you ever gain. Ever. You’re a ruiner so stick it, sucks to be you. 

III. ACCEPTANCE: Even if there was nothing we could do for that one patch of land, there’s still a whole earth blooming all around us!” 

The stages of grieving are well known, and Peridot is just inmerse in her process to actually see a light out, so is Steven the one in charge of exposition this time. 

The key here is “nothing we could have done for that specific patch of land”. So yeah, relationships don’t always work out. Sometimes, regardless of how much love you put in there, how much work and sweat, nothing grows. And that’s ok .

Some people are adequate for you, some aren’t. The same goes for you: It may be not work out due to compatibility issues, or maybe even you weren’t what they needed at a given time, like Peridot and Lapis. I’m sure they loved eachother, but they just weren’t adequate for each other at the moment. Doesn’t mean that any of them are doomed to solitude or damaged beyond repair, it just mean you couldn’t grow something with that specific person, in that particular patch of land. 

Originally posted by doafhat

IV. She’ll survive: “why don’t we try gardening in literally any other place? it’ll be easier than trying in the kindergarden…that dirt doesn’t care how green your thumb is.” 

The clousure of the metaphor is a message of hope: You just invested in one of the lands you could have never helped. That friend or partner that no matter how hard we tried, we could never get them out that hole. Peridot could have never heal Lapis single-handedly, Lapis had to actually want help first. Enabling her tendency to bury emotions was not going to help her. Without communication, without Lapis input and drive to get better, to deal with herself, Peridot could have folded herself in a million ways, and still would not have been able to safe her. 

I’m not saying Lapis is bad, I’m saying her relationship with Peridot wasn’t healthy for either of them. The narrative is saying break ups suck, but are sometimes inevitable. They are not foretelling your whole affective life, they’re not dooming you to loneliness, they’re just a painful but neccessary part of life, and maybe your green thumb did not work for that soil, but hey, it doesn’t mean is useless or broken, we should just garden somewhere else. 

Originally posted by stevenfaces

“He was lost, Cas. Our last hunt, he almost didn’t make it back and said he saw Billie.”

“He saw Billie?” Castiel parroted. They were both still in the war room in the bunker, the aftermath of recent events still fresh and new in their minds as Sam recounted what happened while Castiel had been “away.” 

“Yeah, and it wasn’t great.” Sam bit his lip. “Cas, When Mom disappeared…when you died. I think it broke him to a point where he couldn’t come back from it and deal with his grief. More than one night he’s had nightmares where I’d have to get him out and it’s always your name that’d he’d scream.”

“Grief is a complex emotion that is difficult to understand. The both of you have suffered with it greatly, but I have passed before.” Castiel paused, cognizant the statement should make no sense to anyone else except for the three of them. “He had been in grief then but had managed to find a way out. What made this time different?”

“I saw your wings, Cas.” A voice interrupted them from the threshold of the war room.

It clicked in Castiel’s head then. Understandable. "Dean.”

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CASTIEL AND HIS SACRED OATH - 12x10, 12x12, 12x23

This scene here. This split second glance is so so important. I don’t know why people aren’t talking about it (I couldn’t even find any gifs of it and had to take pictures coz I’m computerly incompitent). But I wanted to give my own analytical response to this millisecond glance, because I think it demonstrates properly why Cas has never done anything about his feelings for Dean. 

First, some context from my behalf: I always assumed Cas had never admitted his love for Dean for one of two reasons, 1) he was an angel, therefore not quite understanding his feelings himself - perhaps confusing them with familial love, Dean style. Or 2) he was afraid his love may not be reciprocated. But after watching 12x10, 12x12 and 12x23, I can thoroughly rule out reason 1. 

Now, I’ll be talking a lot about 12x10 as that ENTIRE EPISODE and THIS LOOK are so closely correlated. 

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I AM NEVER GOING TO BE OVER THIS.

I am never going to be over Loki literally being the most decadent king he can, that he’s literally watching theatre in his bathrobe while eating grapes and drinking wine.  A play about himself, cast in the best possible light, just after we’ve seen the giant statue of him in the main thoroughfare.

I love it because it deliberately evokes thoughts of decadent, uncaring, selfish kings who laze around all day instead of actually tending to their kingdoms and neighbors, actually being leaders.  That this is backed up with Thor basically calling bullshit on the whole “leaving our neighbors their freedom” when they’re getting slaughtered (which we know happens when you take Asgard out of the picture, because that’s exactly what was happening at the beginning of TDW).

But it’s also contrasted against the themes of colonialism and how incredibly complicated a thing that is, the answer in these movies isn’t just to withdraw and keep to their own borders (as they were forced to do when the Bifrost was destroyed or when Loki wasn’t interested in paying attention to them) and contrasted against how nobody really seems to hate Loki anymore, if they ever did, even after the shit he pulled in the first movie.  The reaction to the reveal is a gasp of surprise and then an OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, LOKI.

I love it because it’s hilarious but also because it’s so purely Loki–he’s stable for awhile, but it all would have crashed out from under him, because Loki didn’t want to lead, he wanted to be adored.  He wanted the glory with none of the real sacrifice or hard work or boring parts.  The whole point of this scene is that Loki is not satisfied with what he thought he wanted, he’s not happy with having Odin’s position, he never expresses any real kind of regret at losing the kingship. He’s bored with it, that’s why he’s out there watching theatre instead of actually doing king things, that’s why he’s (briefly) more suited to Sakaar, where it’s all about backstabbing and outmaneuvering each other.

It’s even why he’s not ultimately satisfied with that, either.

He only ever wanted the throne to be seen, to be Thor’s equal in the eyes of Asgard.  He only ever wanted the throne to win, to prove a point.  Once he had it, it was boring and not what he actually wanted at all.  He doesn’t mourn the loss of it, by the end of the movie he knows he wasn’t suited to it and it wasn’t suited to him.  He can be something better now, something more.

He’s never going to be Thor, but he doesn’t have to be.  Thor is meant to be king, he will take to it in a way that Loki never would have, will bear up under it in a way that Loki never could.  There’s no jealousy in Loki when Thor is crowned king of the last of their people, when he takes the interim throne, because Loki was bored by it, he knows his own path better now.

I’m sure he’ll miss being able to direct his own fanfic plays (YOU KNOW HE WAS INVOLVED, “I didn’t do it for him.” wouldn’t have come from anyone but Loki), but there’s no reason he can’t tell it at the next Asgardian feast, because Loki doesn’t have to be king to have Asgard appreciate him (in a way that he understands, because Asgard never hated him, not the way he feared they did), doesn’t have to hide who he is or what he’s like, he can be on the right path for himself now.

He’ll probably still lounge around their ship and eat grapes while telling stories, though, because THAT IS 100% LOKI.

Epoch

Epoch (m) a period of time in history or a person’s life, typically one marked by notable events or particular characteristics.

Words: 11.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, language and angst

Pairing: Reader x Jungkook

Summary: When Namjoon breaks up with you, you’re left wondering what to do. Realizing you’ve been unhappy with your life, you go off to Hawaii. In Hawaii, you meet a cute desk clerk named Jungkook who saves your ass. (Based off of Forgetting Sarah Marshall)


You were waiting for your boyfriend, Namjoon, to come over. He had just gotten back from New York, where he had a few concerts. You worked with him, you were a lyric writer and producer. He had called you last night, saying, that he would be getting in early and wanted to see you.

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eddie but with body dysmorphia

-so eddie has always been small

-compact, if you will

-and he secretly liked being small, being able to fit in people’s (richie’s) arms so well, finding the tiniest of spots to hide during hide and seek

-but one day while after he got to high school, sometime after he hit puberty, something changed in him

-he got taller and thicker and he wasn’t enjoying it

-he started to feel like he was taking up too much space

-he kept these thoughts to himself, as he does with most everything

-but they all notice eventually

-he won’t sit on bill’s shoulders to play chicken anymore

-won’t let stan give him piggyback rides

-before he started seeing himself this way he used to borrow bev’s sweaters all the time but now he refuses because he’s convinced he’ll stretch them out

-he won’t ride on the back of mike’s bike when they travel around town

-and richie especially notices when eddie won’t let him wrap his arms around his waist anymore

-at first richie thought eddie was slowly distancing himself

-trying to slip away

-he was so hurt when eddie refused to cuddle or change in front of him

-he goes to bev, who is obviously one of his best friends,

-“i just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore you know? he won’t let me touch him like ever”

-“richie, can’t you see it? it’s not you, it’s him. he feels bad about himself, he’s got body dysmorphia”

-and of course she then had to explain what that term actually means

-but then it all comes together in the old trashmouth’s head

-“you’re a godsend, marsh. what would i do without you?”

-“crash and burn”

-so he goes to eddie, not knowing if he should confront him straight up or wait til eddie says something himself

-but that’s obviously never gonna happen so plan b

-they’re chilling in richie’s room, doing homework

-richie puts his math book down and starts kissing eddie’s neck

-“rich, stop, i’ve got work to do”

-then he starts playing with eddie’s hair

-“richie you’re distracting me”

-“you’re so beautiful, eds. i love you so much”

-“shut up, trashmouth. don’t call me that”

-richie starts slowly moving his hands around eddie’s shoulders and then slipping them under his sweater

-“i mean it, babe. you’re just so beautiful, i can’t believe i wasted all that time being your friend when i could’ve been-“

-“beep fucking beep richie! i don’t want to play right now”

-“why won’t you let me touch you, eddie?”

-and eddie has to pinch the bridge of his nose

-“i have work to do”

-“i don’t mean just now. i mean ever. we don’t hug, or cuddle or make out, we haven’t been together in weeks”

-“that’s what you’re fucking worried about? that i’m not having sex with you?”

-“no you stupid idiot i’m worried that you’re gonna start hurting yourself because you think you’re fat”

-“what are you even talking about”

-“i’m not stupid, eddie. you’re wearing baggy clothes, you only eat green shit, you won’t let me see you without a shirt on….for some reason you hate yourself and that’s fucking ridiculous because you’re probably the most attractive person i’ve ever met in my life”

-eddie doesn’t know what to say because he never thought richie would figure it out

-“i love you, eddie. you. the way you are. i love your floppy hair and your sparkly eyes, i love how you can be kinda squishy in the middle, i love your arms and your legs….dear god eddie your ass is literally out of this world”

-and eddie laughs through his tears

-“i don’t want you to change, i don’t want you to start to disappear”

-eddie takes richie’s dorky face into his little hands and kisses the tip of his nose

-“i’m not gonna go anywhere. i love you, trashmouth”

-“i love you too eddie spaghetti”

cool i’m in pain

gemstoneblitz  asked:

I hate my art skills....

I’m gonna be clear. This is kinda a point of view of mine, based on my own experience and observation.

You know what’s the problem? The social media itself. 
I’m not going to say it is internet’s fault, because I learned many stuff reading and watching on internet years later.

I didn’t have someone in real life to teach me and I didn’t have internet either. My style was TOO WAY different from what is it now. It was obvious, but I enjoyed so much drawing. It never crossed in my mind that my art skills were terrible. I fillled more than 20 notebooks with comics. 

Even I was teaching my school friends how to draw. AND THEY LEARNED TO DRAW THAT STYLE, EVEN THO IT WAS THIS THING BELOW!!

THEY LEARNED HOW TO DRAW LIKE THAT!!

I CAN EVEN STILL DRAW IN THAT STYLE

BUT WE DID NEVER CARE ABOUT IT
Because we were happy drawing our stories (And the stories weren’t good at all”)

We were happy doing our stuff. And we improved without realizing it. We found a style, we tried to copy it, something started to change, we loved it, we kept drawing, we commited mistakes, we didn’t care, we won contests with THAT style… 

Some people today could say we were living as “ignorants”, but the real thing here is, that we were finding ourselves without caring others’ words. We loved each part of our progress, and of course, that took a lot of years, and still.

Social media wasn’t as important as it is now, at least in my country. Mid-class families started to have internet in their own houses around 2005 - 2006, but social media became really important around 2008… just a few ones knew the existence of the classic memes. Smartphones were only for rich people.  I just got Macromedia Flash mx 2004 and Paint.Net, learning how to use layers on my own. Having such a mess, but proud of my progress, ALWAYS.

I love so much that part of my life for that reason, because it  is not like now.

People need to check their social media everytime. Posting something everytime to get a thumb up and don’t be forgotten. To be someone and meet a lot of people. I’m not saying this last one is wrong, in this world of artists this is pretty important to have interaction since some of us don’t have friends that share our same stuff in our neighbor, city, country, etc.

The point is, here’s a social pressure to hurry, to make something really big, something awesome and having 15 minutes of fame, even years of fame. To make ‘em enjoy, but never enjoy yourself, because there’s no time to think about yourself. 

You must do something that calls people’s attention and hoping your thing become a trend. If you’re not enough good, you can get ignored, or even worse, being hurt by people that can hide their faces and spit shit on your innocence and your ilussions to become a better person, artist, musician, whatever u want to be.

People that will never read a point of view, because everything must be quick, everyone are posting something, everyone are trying to make something big, some of them are doing it with kindness, others just to get attention. I don’t even know if you will read this, I don’t care. Sometimes I think it is a waste of time sharing these thoughts, but I hope someone who is making the same question, this long post can help in something.

I have met very talented people, VERY very talented people, I talked to them, they shared me their drawings. I tried to show them they were good… but they are totally blind and still call shit themselves and their work.

You don’t have any fucking idea how does it feels to hear/read that… And I hope those guys read this. I don’t feel dissapointed, I feel like if a relative of mine was commited suicide. That’s how I feel.

So…

Think in yourself, please. Take your time, and try to not hate yourself. Try to not hate your skills. Good stuff can come to you, when you stop worrying about it and you start to make an effort.


These kind of asks make me feel terrible for people that are not able to understand this… so please. 


Lance's Love Interest

Okay guys. I could write a dissertation on why I think Keith will be Lance’s love interest, but that’s pretty much already been done. So what I do want to talk about is why Lance’s love interest won’t be Allura.


Before I get into this, I feel obligated to say that I’m a big ol’ bi sexual. Meaning that I’m not against this ship because ew girls. I’m not against it at all. Sure, I don’t ship it, but personal feelings about a pairing have no basis in cannon analysis.

Lets start with Lance’s vlog

What I got from the vlog is that nobody lies to Lance like Lance lies to Lance. Like seriously, how Lance can breathe beyond those Layers of Bravado is beyond me. He spends the majority of the vlog talking about how Allura probably does like him because he’s such a lady killer and yada yada yada, bull shit, bull shit, bull shit. You get the picture.


But then there’s this moment.


It’s legitimately sweet. Lance is gushing not about how he’s going to win over Allura or how awesome he is but about why he likes her so much. Only then he catches himself and goes right back into his Wow I’m So Awesome mode.

Then directly after this, he starts talking about how he’s not ready to settle down, which is… strange. Yeah, you could argue that Lance is saying this because he’s young, but the way it’s presented makes it seem like he’s covering something up, especially when you take into consideration Lance’s How to Fall in Love guide.

Lance loves love, not just as an end goal, but as an continuous endeavor. He understands it’s hard work, but he wants to put in that work. Lance wants to be in love.

What I’m getting at here is, Lance really likes Allura, but I think deep down he knows she doesn’t return those feelings. I mean, hes all like, ’Pff, yeah, of course Allura thinks I’m awesome, but sorry babe, can’t hold this stud down’ directly after we see him swooning over her, and honestly, how more obvious can it be that he’s hiding his real feelings/over compensating?

Lance knows Allura probably wont ever return his feeling and us as the audience knows that too. Or at least we should. Seriously, if I could say there was one thing I really have against this pairing, it would be the fact that Lance continues to flirt with Allura despite her obvious discomfort with it. The only reactions to his flirting we’ve ever gotten from Allura are disinterest and down right disgust. Meaning, his feelings are not returned.

Oh, but you might say, well they could be one day, and that’s where I’m going to have to disagree with you. I really don’t think Allura would just suddenly start to have feelings for Lance, not when there hasn’t been an ounce of romantic subtext between them and especially not when taking into consideration some of the comments made by the creators and voice actors.

Jeremy Shada said that Lance still thinks he has a chance with Allura, heavily implying that he doesn’t. The creators said that Lance would end up with someone he needed, not wanted.

Even if you ignore the blatant fact that Lance has wanted Allura from the beginning, it still makes this scene and Lance’s choice of words really interesting.

Lance straight up said that “Sometimes we don’t get what we want” while talking to Blue. And who is Blues new Paladin? That’s right! Allura! She even walked in right after he said it.

I know this has already been said, but just for the hell of it, let me point out that they also said Lance would end up with someone self assured, something Allura is not. She doubts herself more than any other character and has from day one. In fact, it’s Lance - one of the most insecure characters in the show - who gave her the confidence she needed in the season 4 final.

Now I really want to talk about this scene. I’ve heard people say that it parallels the ‘We are a good team’ moment from season one, and like, totally. It does, but apart of what this scene accomplished - at least to me - was solidifying the fact that Allura does not have feelings for Lance.


Lets break it down: There’s the obvious differences between these scenes. Keith and Lance’s has soft background music, unnecessarily long eye contact, fond smiles, a purple background (the combination of their respective colors), and a total mood shift. Its filled with romantic subtext and is also brought up later on several occasions. Lance and Allura’s moment had none of that.

Something less obvious Id like to point out is that if these scenes do parallel each other, then Lance would be the Keith in this situation and Allura the Lance. You may not agree with me, but I’m pretty positive that Keith has been low key pining for Lance since season one, which is fitting, because Lance has been pining for Allura. In Keith and Lance’s scene, Lance is drawn in by Keith whereas Allura merely glances back at Lance and then brushes him off. Insinuating that while Lance and Keith’s scene is a big moment to both of them and could be the start of feelings that Lance may go onto reciprocate, the same can not be said for Allura and Lance’s scene. In summary, Allura - being the Lance in this situation - did not show the same interest that Lance showed to Keith in their scene.

You could say that the situation was dire, and yeah, you’d be right, but for one, they don’t show us parallels for nothing. They’re used as a means to compare and contrast. Two, Keith straight up almost got his ass handed to him in the midst of a battle all because he was too busy making doki doki eyes at Lance. Meaning circumstance isn’t really an issue when dealing with this sort of thing.

The last thing I want to point out is, while Allura never reciprocates Lance’s advances, Lance - in his own self deluded, deny the bi, sort of way - does reciprocate Keith’s. First off, it should be heavily noted that Keith’s interest in Lance is much more subtle than Lance’s interest in Allura, because as we all know, Keith has abandonment issues, walls, and all that fun stuff. He doesn’t parade around his interest because he probably doesn’t see it ever being returned, not realistically.

But he’s wrong and here’s why: Lance feels inferior to the entire team, so the idea that he goes around challenging Keith and constantly vying for his attention out of pure jealousy/a need to prove himself makes no sense. If that were the case, he would behave that way towards everyone. Granted, Lance did think that Keith thought he was better than Lance, but in season two, Lance said, “I guess no one else thinks that” in regards to his marksmanship. Meaning Lance thinks that the rest of the team thinks hes not as talented as them also, and yet he treats them the same way he always has. Lance is literally obsessed with Keith, especially in season one. He’s the embodiment of the boy pulling on the girls pigtail to get her attention.

He also talked about Keith in admiration when he wasn’t around, wearing a similar face to that of the one he wears when hes flirting. Hell, he wears that same expression every time he teases Keith, but when he does it here, paired with this praise, we know it’s meant to be interpreted as a fond expression.

(also note that his expression morphs to this when he starts talking about Keith and only Keith despite the fact he’s praising the entire team)

He admires Keith. He wants Keith’s attention and respect. He flirtatiously banters with him. He goes to Keith when making important decisions about his future and place on the team. He expresses ambiguous jealousy every time Keith is with a girl.

Allura does none of this. So if you want to say that she could possibly reciprocate Lance’s feelings then you have to say the same for Lance towards Keith.

Look, my purpose here isn’t to dissuade anyone from shipping Allura and Lance or to down said shippers. I’m just trying to analyze cannon material and reach an conclusion. So my final theory on the matter of Lance’s love interest is that Lance has feelings for both Keith and Allura. He just doesn’t get that he has feelings towards Keith for the same reason he doesn’t want to admit he knows Allura doesn’t like him romantically. He likes to keep a lot of things tucked away in his head and chooses ignorance over introspection until those thoughts some how make it to the forefront and he’s forced to do otherwise. I think in season 5 the vlog will come into play and we’ll see the summation of Lance’s feelings towards Allura, but I have little to no doubt that it will not go the way he hopes it will.

And hey, if I’m wrong, I’m wrong. More power to you Allura and Lance shippers.

13.05 coda

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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The sun sets early this time of year. The sky starts to change color as Dean pushes the Impala along towards Meadows’ house of horrors; the violent orange of the sunset gleams across the chrome lining the windshield and gilds everything over. Dean glances away from the road for a second when the glare hits him in the eye. Sam had his head turned towards the window, but he looks over when he feels Dean do so, too.

“So, uh,” he says, clearing his throat. “You ended up at the Clam Dive after all.”

Dean’s mouth quirks for a second, but it doesn’t last. “Mm.”

Sam taps his fingers against the door. “Worth the four and a half stars?”

Easing the Impala around a corner plunges the driver’s side into shadow. Dean ticks his head away from the light. “Don’t let the name fool you. That is one classy joint.”

Sam scoffs. “I’m sure.”

Dean doesn’t reply. The sun dips lower on the horizon.

“So, you’re. You’re working through it, then,” Sam says, unable to stay quiet. “Business as usual. It’s… working.”

Dean clenches his hands on the steering wheel and hopes that Sam doesn’t notice. The first stars of the night have started to come out, visible just beyond the stained-purple clouds.

“Yeah. See? Totally fine.”

He doesn’t tell Sam that most of the time he spent at the Clam Dive was at the bar. He doesn’t tell Sam that he only sat by the stage once he was drunk enough to start seeing double. He doesn’t tell Sam that he didn’t have any fun even though he tried all his old tricks and every cheesy line in the book and even pushed some of his boundaries a little farther than usual. He doesn’t tell Sam that he drove the Impala full-blown wasted and didn’t even care because why would it even matter if he ended up –

He doesn’t tell Sam about the death sentence he keeps in his duffle bag. He doesn’t tell Sam that he tried to crawl into bed once he got back to the motel but the thought of doing so made him so lonely that he’d actually rather sleep on the floor.

Point is: there’s a lot he doesn’t tell Sam.

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Bruises On Another (part four)

Originally posted by maxmayfield

Prompt: Steve doesn’t know where they come from, and he isn’t exactly sure why they’re there. All he knows is that his body is littered in bruises, and there’s something different about them. They aren’t just bruises, and they certainly didn’t come from a trip in a step or clumsiness. No, Steve knows there’s more behind the marks that litter his body.

THIS IS A SERIES: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - finale

Pairing: Slow!Burn Steve x Reader, Billy x Reader (it’ll make sense)

Warnings: marks, bruises, pain, physical abuse, force, sexual inclinations, etc. I mean no disrespect to anyone or to upset anyone, this story starts off rough but I can say that things will get better.

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently. 

P.S. This a soulmate AU.

I will NO LONGER be adding anyone to the Tag’s List!


Billy fed you drink after drink, shoving them into your face that you forgot how to think straight at some point. You lost yourself after drink five, forgetting who you were and what would happen the moment your father found out about any of this. Instead you drank whatever concoction Billy handed your way and tilted your head back so the drink burned right down your throat.

You’d never gotten drunk before, since you’d never really been allowed out. But the feeling was all that you’d heard it was and you didn’t, at the moment, regret your decisions. After a painfully awkward long car ride, Billy and you had arrived at Tina’s house where all you could see was teenagers everywhere. You’d hesitated stepping out of the car, not knowing what would happen the second you did. But then Billy had appeared on your side of the car, opened the door and led you through the front doors.

You were bombarded by sweaty teenagers dancing, drinking or making out with others. Some people acknowledged Billy’s presence the moment he’d walked in, and you’d been forced to socialize with others during the occasion. But soon enough Billy had brought you to the ‘punch’ table and started pouring you drink after drink, which is where it all began.

You accepted the now refilled cup of ‘pure fuel’ and brought it to your lips almost immediately, downing more than half of it in the first gulp. You were brought back to the real world then by the sound of Billy’s laughter and gazing up at him over the tip of your cup, you fought the blush that threatened to grow. “Didn’t peg you as a drinker, darlin’.”

You shrugged your shoulders; “never drank before.”

You missed the way he’s eyes widened in surprise and before you knew it, Billy was by your side. “Really?” He asked, looking down at you as he slyly slid his arm around your waist. You let him, leaning into the boy slightly to regain your balance. The whole world seemed fuzzy around you and honestly you didn’t even know if you were seeing straight. “Now that’s exciting.”

You mumbled something but over the slur of your words you’re sure Billy didn’t understand. For a moment it was silent as the two of you just stood there and suddenly a loud echoing noise gained your attention and leaning up slightly from the table, you noticed everyones eyes on a pair of people. You squinted slightly, the room spinning before you were able to focus in and found the same pair of brown eyes that haunted your mind. 

There in the middle of the crowd stood Steve and Nancy, who’s white shirt was dyed red from the ‘pure fuel’. Your eyes narrowed at the sight of them together and before you knew it, they were walking off in the direction of the bathroom. You chose to ignore your bitterness and the feeling of Billy laughing loudly beside you as you turned back to your cup and took a large slip. Suddenly drinking felt more like a habit and you felt your shoulders grow heavy with weight.

The sight of Steve with Nancy, for whatever reason that you couldn’t even explain yourself, sobered you up real quick. And with your sober thoughts now coming through, you realized the severity of your actions-

What was wrong with you?

What were you doing here-

with Billy?

Placing your hands against the table, you steadied yourself as your mind became fuzzy. Thoughts burned through your mind rapidly and you found yourself unable to think straight. The distant sound of Billy’s voice echoed in your mind but you couldn’t exactly make out what he was saying. You didn’t understand what you were doing or who you were trying to be.

Since when did you sneak out and get drunk?

The reality of everything was starting to set in and you realized there was no way you were going to get back home and into your bedroom without your father noticing. You felt yourself grow sick knowing what would happen the minute you came home, and knew that if worse came to worse your father would knock you out cold and you’d have a whole new selection of bruises to hide. 

That’s when you felt Billy nestle up beside you and his hands fall dangerously close to your butt. You flinched in surprise from the contact but it seemed Billy didn’t care this time and soon you found yourself flipped from the table and your back smacking against the wall behind you. You blinked, the sight of Billy before you spinning in your minds eye as his hands fell above your hips. You weren’t even sure what was happening before you felt his lips on your neck and his body pressed against yours.

“Billy,” you slurred, but he didn’t hear- or choose to hear.

Your hands flew to his shoulders where you tried to push him off but it made no difference. You were too drunk to even walk on your own, let alone push a boy two times your size off of you. You looked desperately around you for someones help but knew that none of it would matter considering they were all drunk beyond reason and probably thought you wanted this.

What was happening?

The world was spinning again- 

“Billy,” you called, your words coming out in a moan as he bit your neck. Panic filled within you as you felt yourself grow hot. And then before you knew it, Billy was slipping off the leather jacker he’d given you, leaving you bare in your white t-shirt. The fact that your bruises were clear as day didn’t register within in you and all you could think about was getting away from Billy.

It wasn’t until Billy gripped a bruise on your waist did life seem to snap back to you. You let out a loud yelp of pain as he pinched the sensitive skin, and the moment you felt Billy stop in surprise you pushed against his shoulders. He luckily, this time, stepped away and panting you held yourself. You didn’t meet his eyes knowing what you’d find and wanting to avoid them as much as possible. The moment you’d meet his eyes would be the moment you’d submit to him again. Billy scared you, just like your dad, but you didn’t- didn’t want to lose your virginity like this.

“What the hell?!” Billy spat.

Shaking your head, you stared at the ground before you. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your voice shaking. “I have to- I have to go.” You moved to step past him but Billy stepped before you abruptly. You closed your eyes in fear, tensing your body as you waited for the pain to start. But nothing ever happened, and finally you looked up at Billy; “bitch.” He spat, before stepping out of your way.

You paused for your moment, the pleasure of being drunk leaving you and you felt your heart rapidly beat against your chest. Biting your tongue, you sped through Tina’s house, moving through people narrowly before making your way outside. The cool air hit your bare arms and you were reminded of the vulnerability you found yourself in.

Staring at the street before you and the cars lined up, you sighed. You’d have to walk home-

“Fancy seeing you here.” You turned around at the voice, finding none other then Steve just before you. You paused in surprise, gazing up at him in wonder as he took another step forward. Snapping out of your stupor, you nodded shortly and let your eyes wander around the front yard again.

“Need a lift home?” Steve offered and again you found yourself surprised by him.

“Um- what?”

“A drive.” Steve clarified, warily stepping closer to you. His eyes almost seemed bloodshot and it looked as if he’d been crying or near tears. You felt your heart fall at the thought of him being upset, but shook your head- you barely knew the guy. “Do you need one home?”

You teetered over the options, unsure if you should take it. But considering your other option was walking home, alone, in the middle of the night and risk coming home later or accepting the drive, the option seemed clear. So, taking a deep breath you nodded and felt yourself grow warm when Steve smiled lightly. The smile didn’t meet his eyes and it almost looked forced, but nonetheless he smiled.

“Here.” He said, slipping off his jacket and extending it towards you. You hesitated for a moment, holding your arms close to yourself before accepting his generous offer and extending your own arm towards him. You seemed to have forgotten about the bruises littering your arm for a moment when Steve reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Hey,” he said, his eyes falling with concern. “Who- did Billy do this to you?”

“What?” You questioned, your eyes falling on your arm. Pulling it back from his grip, you hugged your arm to yourself and quickly slipped on his jacket, so Steve could no longer stare at them. “No- no, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Y/N-”

“It’s fine, okay?” You said, a bit harshly. You felt guilty about interrupting him, especially when he’d offered you a drive, but you couldn’t risk him finding out. If your father… you didn’t want to think about that. “I’m fine.”

Steve seemed hesitant but eventually he nodded and stepping forward, you followed him. ”This way.”


Part 5? 

Let me know below!

Keep reading

It started when he was 7, idly coloring a spaceship decorated with sharks while the teacher rangled the other kids.

A girl, with curly hair and warm eyes, come up to Lance and sweetly said the words,

“I love you, wanna be my boyfriend?”

Lance remembered how excited he was as he vigorously shook his head, smiling so hard his cheeks twitched.

But his smile quickly fell when the girl suddenly laughed, walking away toward her friends who were pointing at him, laughing.

“I told you he would believe me!”

Lance never felt that small before.


It happened again when Lance was thirteen, when he realized that he looked at boys the way he looked at girls. And it scared him.

But then he came along. Became Lance’s friend. Best friend even. Lance told him his deepest secrets, desires. He felt accepted.

And he was just so kind, and accepted Lance, and had the prettiest smile. How could Lance not fall for him?

It was during lunch, when he sat in front of Lance, giving him a crooked grin.

“Hey Lance. This might be weird and awkward, but I have to tell you.”

Lance still remembers how his heart leapt when he took his hand and ran a thumb over his knuckles.

“I like you. More than a friend. I know it’s crazy, but I couldn’t help it. Hell, forget like, Lance…I love you.”

Lance grasped the others’s hands, eyes bright and glistening. But before he could even open his mouth, the boy’s smile turned twisted.

It stung when he jerked his hands away.

“Wow, you seriously believed me? You’ll fall for anything, won’t you Lance?”

And that was the first time Lance cried over a boy.


It then became a game, a running joke throughout school. “Let’s see who can get Lance to fall for them.” And what a cruel game it was.

Lance remembers crying into his mama’s arm, spilling his heart out. He remembers feeling her thumbs wipe away his tears and holding him tightly.

Her words still rang through his head.

“You’ve just got to hide your heart. Keep it safe and lock it away. And only give the key to someone who truly loves you.”

And that’s what he did.

So Lance became a flirt, cheesey pickup lines, fingerguns, and flirtatious wink thrown carelessly. That way, if anyone didn’t like him, he would know right away.

And when someone flirts back or just accepts his antics with a small smile and eye roll, his heart soars.

Lance became a flirt because he believes it’s the closest thing to love he’ll ever get.

Not Northside Material - Part 1

Originally posted by always-klaus-forever-kol

A/N: It’s me, back from the dead and this time… sweeter. Anyway, here have this. The next few parts are already written, I just have to edit them and I’ll post them depending on the reaction to this one because its been a while and I’m rusty, ya kno? so pls let me know what you think.

Part 2

Summary: There’s a new girl at Southside High and that means new entertainment for the Serpents. 

Word Count: 2,625

Warnings: Swear words, Serpents, and that’s all so far

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can you do headcanons for richie who grew too tall, too quickly, and he's now super self-conscious?

I SURE CAN!! 

oh btw idk if you ship reddie/stozier or anything like that but i do lmao #notsorry

-so, contrary to popular belief, richie wasn’t always the giant beanstalk we all love to visualize him as 

-in fact he was only about 3 inches taller than eddie all through middle school 

-but there was one summer where someone must’ve slipped miracle-gro into his food or something because he shot up like a tree

-he became so tall so fast that his pants became capris, his blankets didn’t completely cover him at night, and he kept hitting his head on cupboard doors and the roofs of his friend’s cars

-this was the time where people started to notice how unconventionally attractive he was. he didn’t lose the geeky glasses and ugly hawaiian shirts til much later, but the height was definitely something that attracted some attention. 

-too much attention, if you asked richie. 

-he felt like everyone could see him. and it wasn’t like richie didn’t like getting attention, his entire demeanor is a result of not getting sufficient attention at home.

-but this growth spurt he had caused him to feel something in his chest. something painful and tight. richie felt like he just didn’t belong anymore. none of the other losers had grown yet, the way richie towers over them all makes him feel like a giant and he hates it. 

-in richie’s mind, he takes up a lot of space. he dominates every atmosphere he’s in because he’s just so damn tall

-the real reason he’s afraid of being so tall, which he doesn’t realize until much later, is because his father is a tall man. tall and angry. richie tries his best not to use his height to his advantage. 

-imagine reddie in a fight okay. they’re arguing over something stupid while in eddie’s room and it’s getting heated. 

-”richie, listen to me!”

-”no you listen to me!” 

-richie doesn’t notice that he’s towering over eddie until it’s too late. eddie’s back is already against the wall, a slightly terrified look on his face. 

-and that’s when richie realizes that he’s too much like his father, using his body as a way to spur fear and compliance. that’s something his father had always done to him, a technique he swore he’d never adopt. and that’s when it all comes crumbling down. 

-eddie takes him into his arms, discarding any anger he may have felt moments ago. he tries to console his boyfriend by promising that he’s not afraid, swearing that he knows he would never hurt him. but richie just feels so hurt, he feels as if his father is hiding somewhere in his body and controlling everything inside.

-that night is the first night that richie is the little spoon. eddie struggled to get a comfortable hold on his boy, despite richie attempting to make himself as compact as possible, but he never complained. 

-richie goes a few more months feeling lanky and awkward and humongous before the rest of his friends begin to grow too. 

-the only thing in the world that can make 6-foot richie feel small and protected is when he gets the occasional hug from 6′3″ stan. 

-in conclusion, all my children are safe and loved and alive. 

don’t exactly know if this is how you wanted it but it’s an attempt! thanks a bunch for requesting!