I might even make something else

Ten Things Trans Men Want You To Know

By Jason Robert Ballard

Over my life as a transgender man I have had moments I wish I could have said something to someone close to me but failed to. Until going back in time is an option, lets move forward with better understanding on things we wish we could tell our close friends and potential partners. If you’ve received this article from a friend, are they trying to tell you you’re guilty of one of these points? Potentially, or they just think it was a good read and you might enjoy it.

1. You’re guilty by association
You will receive more questions about me than I will. People who are confused or curious will typically ask a person they believe can relate to them or think share similar experiences. Talk to me about what I’m comfortable with you sharing when you field these questions. If I prefer not to be outed, you could respond with a simple, yet firm “It’s not my place to answer these questions for you, I’m sorry.” If I’m open about my transition, find out how to appropriately answer or divert harsh questions. This will make you a better ally and allow conversations to flow toward critical discussions instead of focusing on sexualizing the experience. As the topic of transgender lives emerges in mainstream media, questions often fall into one of two categories “genuine curiosity” or “superficial curiosity”. The question, “What are some reasons a transman might not have bottom surgery” is different from the question “Do you have a penis?“ Knowing whether the questioner is coming from a place of good will or being malicious may help you decide how to handle these moments.

2. “But you’ll always be _____ to me” hurts
Transition in life is inevitable. While seeing your little cousin for the first time in years and enjoying the fact that they were once in diapers, one may say “Aw, but you’ll always be little tommy to me!” and be perfectly acceptable. However, in my case I may have struggled with who I was and how I felt about myself before coming out as the authentic me. This is a time in my life of positive growth and happiness and if I’ve chosen to share it with you, telling me that you’d rather remain seeing me as someone I have taken great risks to leave behind is hurtful and damaging to our friendship. Telling me I’ll always be my birth name or birth sex in your eyes can be like telling someone who struggled with depression that you’ll always see them as ‘that pathetic emo kid’ or someone who fought with self image and weight lose that they’ll always be ‘fat’ to you. See what I’m saying? Yes, we may have a long history of knowing each other before I came out and that might be hard for you to let go of or see differently. Let me know you’re trying by not using this statement.

3. Outing me can be extremely dangerous.
As positive as some of the media and support for trans people are, there is still an overwhelming amount of hatred and ignorance. Hundreds of transgender people are murdered every single year and most of these times the killer walks due to failed/no protection laws in place for me. You may think that having a trans friend and talking about it in a public setting is fine, but if the wrong person over hears you or tells their friend who tells their friend, I could be in serious danger. It being a novelty to have a trans friend isn’t worth my life. If you want to talk about it, just don’t use my name and say you’ve ‘got a friend’.

4. My dysphoria isn’t your fault
It can be tough to be emotionally involved with someone who has a hard time with self image. You yourself may feel like you’re solely responsible for their happiness but sometimes their sadness comes from a place you simply can’t touch. It is not your fault that I have places and things about my body that I don’t like paid attention to. Talk to me and find out what is okay with me and what you can do to ease any triggering of my dysphoria, but don’t take the dysphoria personally. Some relationships, trans or cis don’t end up being ‘text book’. If I’m uncomfortable with my breasts and talk about wanting surgeries in the future, being sad about that and saying things like “But I love your boobs!” or “No don’t, I love you just the way you are” isn’t supportive. In fact, it’s proof that you’ve created an image of me in your head that doesn’t match up with who I really am and that’s not a positive basis for a relationship.

5. “It isn’t the T”
Beginning hormone replacement therapy can be a HUGE moment in my life. However, following that achievement I may lash out at you or be a jerk. If I say things like “It’s the testosterone”, you have my permission to not believe it. I am well aware of the emotional changes that I’ve decided to undertake and there are countless support systems and advice articles for dealing with extra tension and shorter tempers all over Google. My mood swings and hormonal imbalance are mine to control, not yours to tolerate. I have no right to be rude to you or push you away and blame a substance.

6. How do those egg shells feel?
Don’t get so hung up on words that the conversations never happen. You know me, if we’ve been close for any period of time you know what and how to phrase questions and statements to not be offensive. Though I may not want to be an educator all day every day to strangers at the grocery store, you’re my friend and it shows me you care when you’re excited about my transition with me. Many transgender people don’t have or lose their entire support systems when they come out so I’m lucky to have you. If you’ve been around the web a time or two you’ll notice our community gets hung up on terms and words. Don’t let this frighten you into bailing on me.

7. Don’t date me despite me
If you’re interested in dating me, make sure you’re interested because of who I am, not despite my trans status. You’re not doing me a favor by being interested in me ‘even though’ I’m trans, you’re making it seem like to you it’s something that makes me hard to handle or below you and THANK GOODNESS you’re here now to be interested in me because who else would? Rude.

8. What you say behind my back is what you really think of me
When I first come out, some people might say things like “It’s about time” or “I always knew”, some may say they had no clue and some people might not believe me due to the rise of something called “trans-trending”. Whether you think I’m doing this for attention or because my friend is doing it too isn’t for you to decide. The locals don’t get to get together and vote to approve my trans status. There is no way for you to tell what has been going on in my mind for years and what I’ve struggled with personally. There are many ways to transition and no one way is perfect or the way it has to be done. Talk to me about it, find out my story if you feel so inclined. If not, just leave it alone because it doesn’t affect your life at all.

9. My pronouns mean a lot to me
Chances are I’ve chosen a new name and have preferred gender pronouns, you using them is a big deal to me and when you do it shows me that you support me in bettering my life for myself. Which should be qualities of all friends! At the beginning, you may slip or mess up but I promise I’ll be able to tell if someone is genuinely trying or if someone is making a point to use the wrong ones.


10. Thank you
If you’ve taken the time to read or share this article with someone close to you, you’ve sought out advice on being a better Trans Ally and that to me is admirable. Wanting to educate yourself to make me and any other transgender person in your life more comfortable in this time of great community and media change is worth a big thank you. There is a lot of anger and hatred in the world and in our small community and sometimes Allys can be pushed to their limits or be afraid to use the wrong words or do the wrong thing. Every single person behind us and in support of us is valuable. Thank you for your patience, your friendship and your love.

4

YOLO.exe - PART 1

> a Fatal_Error has Occurred Side Comic

> Non-canon Comic

> Next


This is the beginning of a very fun interaction ;)

For those who may not know/remember, this is Fresh_Hell :D

It’s important to note that this is the first non-canon side comic I’ve started- this isn’t actually part of the canon story. It’s more of a fun ‘what if’ scenario to explore. Even though he probably actually never would, what if Fresh decided to possess Fatal_Error? What would happen next?

I have several ideas for comics like these, but I can’t start some until certain parts of the canon story have happened, or else they won’t make any sense, or might spoil something in the main comic before we get to it. The same can be said for the canon side comics too - it’s all about timing. So comics like these might pop up from time to time, and update as we go along.

But anywho I’m rambling ^^

Peace out, brahs <3

Fresh belongs to @loverofpiggies!

Translating is hard work. Even with pretty simple translations there can be unexpected difficulties if one of the languages has some funny special rules that apply to everyday life like honorifics and proper address, or words with multiple meanings so instead of asking what time it is you’ll end up asking for a potato. A professional translator can deal with this, of course. But for someone who just knows two pretty different languages, translating even something simple suddenly takes time and ends up getting pretty confusing for everyone involved.

And that leads us to ALIENS!

I think we’ve all read one scifi story or another where an alien is explaining some kind of concept that their species has - it might be related to their Special Sense or something else, but they always conveniently manage to put it in words that the character (and the reader) understand. This makes sense from a storytelling viewpoint, because we’re telling the story to human readers/listeners/viewers who need to understand what’s going on and why.

But it might be fun if the character is teamed up with an alien who gets so confused and/or worked up about some trivial translation that it gets turned into this big whole mysterious deal.

Human: “So, what’s this word mean, ‘thnguwe’?”

Alien: “Thnguwe has… special meaning for our people. It refers to a person’s ability to… form a meaningful connection with another of our kind, and our… entire society is built according to the… concept of thnguwe.”

Human: “How profound! Your civilization has much to teach us!”

Alien #2: “It means ‘talking’. Thnguwe means talking.”

Alien #1: “Oh, talking! I forgot what that word was in human language!”

Poly doesn’t always feel nice.

And that’s ok.

Sometimes… Poly is watching your partner get their needs that match yours met with someone else.

Sometimes poly is having to accept less, instead of all.

Sometimes poly is, I hate this, but you don’t need my permission to do it anyway.

Sometimes poly is burning. Sitting in your room, your house, alone, burning with all the emotions and there is no one to put you out except yourself. And sometimes, you’re not enough of a firefighter.

Sometimes poly is boring.

Sometimes poly is Netflix and chilling, by yourself, your own hand down your pajama pants.

Sometimes poly is rage. Fierce, hot, molten gold down your gullet, choking you, burning you, cooking you to a not-quick enough death.

Sometimes it’s this is not enough, but this is better than nothing.

Sometimes it’s pain, bright, white hot, cutting into the very core of you. Splintering you into a thousand, million pieces.

Sometimes it’s I don’t know how I survive this.

Sometimes poly is… Acceptance of not so great, because there is no other option.

Sometimes poly is a snide laugh, a kick in the gut, a slap in the face.

Sometimes poly is heartbreak.

Sometimes poly is, I will never feel “safe” again.

Sometimes it’s just… Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Overdoing. Over scheduling. Overtalking. Over… Everything.

Sometimes poly is… Can’t I just go back?

But what poly really is?

Poly is I can’t. I can’t go back. Because going back would mean so much sacrifice. So much giving up of people that I cannot fathom how much I love them. So much beautiful, wonderful, awful exploration of self that I would never get again. I can’t say, I don’t want my lovers and friends and amazing people who blur ALL of my lines and boundaries with their amazing selves. I can’t say, for the sake of some general level of “comfort” that I know is false, I will give up everyone. Their intimacy, their vulnerability, their nakedness. What they look like laughing, and coming, and crying. Versions of them I don’t get to see within the confines of monogamy as I knew it. I have sacrificed so very much to be here, uncomfortable, today.

I can’t.

I feel I’m awake now, with all the discomfort that comes with awakening. But I can’t go back to sleep. It’s shitty, sometimes, being awake. The sun is too bright, the sounds too harsh. It’s easy when I’m head down, dreaming. But it’s not real, you know? It’s an illusion, a construct. It works for some, but I’ve taken the red pill. I’ve seen my life for how it is, my thinking for how it is. I can’t unsee it. Maybe one day how I outwardly perform myself will change, but for now, I can’t go back. I am what I am, doing what I’m doing the ways that I do it. Sometimes it hurts. Fuck yeah it hurts. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you anything remotely differently. And you know what?

It’s ok.

Through this, we grow.

We become something else. We become better, stronger. We know ourselves more. We know more words to use to advocate for ourselves, and that is fucking amazing. Without this pain, without this trial by fire and molten metal, we might not know what we’re capable of. And knowing what we’re capable of is an awesome, incredible thing. That is what makes you, you. That is what inspires you to fucking amazing things. Even if the journey is horrible to get there.

~Jordyn

—  XCBDSM.com/spd
More KatsuDeku Thoughts/Ramblings

The other day I was seeing a lot of people complaining about hate in both the ‘Katsudeku’ and ‘Bakudeku’ tags, but to be honest, I didn’t see it. I suppose I must have the right people blocked.

But, it did get me thinking about things that people love to bring up when discussing the “p r o b l e m a t i c” elements of this ship. Two big ones in particular come to mind.

One has already been discussed to death, and I hope to jeezus I never have to talk about it myself. Yes, Bakugo told Deku to jump off a building. It’s horrible and despicable and I would never defend such awful behavior. It was simple shorthand for Horikoshi to establish Bakugo as an unremorseful jerk. Congrats, dude. It worked.

The second thing, however, is something I could talk about at length.

So I will.

Let’s talk about THIS.

Warning: this is a goddamn long post. Pour yourself a drink.

Keep reading

You know what, I just love young aces. I love you for being so young, and self-aware enough and BRAVE enough to know to go looking for a label that suits you, finding it, and wearing it proudly. I love you for looking even when you can’t find it. I love you for saying, “I will make those labels as I go.” I love you for saying, “this is DEFINITELY me and I won’t let anyone take it from me.”

I love the aces who are ace now, but might be something else later. I love the aces who are ace because of trauma, and if healing the trauma changes your label, I still will. I love aces who thought they were aromantic, who thought they were 100% ace no exceptions, who thought they were “basically straight” or “probably gay” and then something changed. Sometimes that happens. You are still ace, if you feel that it still fits, and if you drop the label, that isn’t you being dishonest, or not being smart enough to know, or fixing something that was WRONG with you.

Your labels might change or become more complex, but that doesn’t make any of the things that other people have done to try to “fix” you magically GOOD. If it hurt you, it was still wrong, no matter how well-intended, or whether or not you got something about yourself wrong after all.

Bts reaction to finding their S/o struggling too get into a pair of skinny jeans because their butts to big *requested*

This made me chuckle


Jin

He’d watch you with an amused expression. And maybe a devious smirk on his face. He’d chuckle and step forward. “Hey either i can help you or you can put something else on.”  you’d chuckle before asking him for help.

Originally posted by chiminichangas

Yoongi

He’d smirk when he saw you bouncing around the room trying to get the skinny jeans over your ass. He might even make a sly comment like Aww kitten, how about wearing nothing at all. To which you would groan and continue your struggle, leaving him disappointed and still turned on.

Originally posted by cinnaminsuga-kookie

Hoseok

Being one of the pervs of the group (according to Jimin)  he would get very turned on by the sight but also find it funny. But he’d probably push the laughter a side and come up behind you before whispering in your ear. You need some help princess?

Originally posted by ciutae

Namjoon

Good fucking luck, you better run before he gets you Lmao. I see him getting easily turned on by this. And easily going up behind you to grab your ass. I just feel it’s something he would do. Or he’ll try and help you lol

Originally posted by choke-me-namjoon

Jimin

Blushing and giggling. But also slightly turned on. When he saw you start bouncing around trying to get them up he’d burst out laughing. “Love do you need some help?”  he’d probably still be laughing as he helped you.  

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Taehyung

Stares at your ass. Can’t help it he’s fascinated.  Watches you struggling for 10 minutes without saying a word just fascinated by your ass jiggling. Literally won’t know you are talking to him he’s so entranced

Originally posted by tekukii

Jungkook

Flustered AF High key Jungshook. But also slightly turned on. He’d probably turn around and leave the room without a word lol

Originally posted by baekon-stripss


Sorry it took so long! hope you liked it!!

Call Boy Jaehyun (Jaehyun x Reader)

Rating: M, very rated M

(A/N) The moment of truth has finally arrived y’all, Call Boy Jaehyun has joined the party! Hope you enjoy him for the night! ;)

Originally posted by openyoureyesfornct

You didn’t trust men anymore, not after having your heart broken over and over by them without batting a lash. Each breakup warped and shaped you into the woman you were now, someone who was broken but strong enough to handle her own…and her men. 

You should’ve taken a break from dating, but your mind kept convincing you that the next one would work and that you would be stronger. Each man that you dated slowly changed you, the only consolidation your heart ever felt was when you were breaking a man’s will underneath your six-inch heel. Your friends jokingly called you a man eater, and you didn’t make any attempt to correct them because you knew that’s exactly what you were.

Keep reading

how to not be an asshole and still maintain your moral standards

because it seems that for a lot of people there’s nothing in-between “I don’t like x thing because it’s bad for x reason and if you disagree then you are evil scum” and “yeah sure do whatever you want!!! give everyone a chance to express their creativity/opinions no matter what!!!!”

1. Know your shit.

One of the easiest things to do is to make yourself look like an idiot because you didn’t bother to look for more information. Before you form your opinion, be sure to rationally look at both sides of an argument and do as much fact-checking you can before you give your input. This goes for anything. Politics, shipping discourse, what have you. 

(something to note: not everything works the same in other countries as it does in your country.)

2. If necessary, make a distinction between what is genuinely harmful/derogatory and what upsets you personally.

This is important especially when someone asks you how you feel about a certain subject. There is a difference between Actual Pedophilia and “there is nothing Technically wrong with this ship but the age gap is big enough that the potential for a power-imbalance bothers me greatly, and I want no part of this”.

3. Don’t start shit.

Callout posts, angry messages, and witch hunts. Anon or not, just don’t do it. You might think you’re doing the right thing, but you’re probably just going to make people want to spite you instead of listen. Calling someone names or telling someone to kill themself is shitty.

Also, don’t infest someone’s tag with opinions they don’t want to see. If you feel the need to vent but don’t want to start discourse, use read mores and slashes inbetween words (li//ke thi//s) so that it won’t show up in the tag.

 Now, I’m not saying you have to be completely passive about things you don’t like, but there are other things you can do to avoid them, like…..

4. Just block people.

Let me say this again.

JUST. BLOCK. PEOPLE.

Or unfollow them. It’s super easy. One click, and they’re gone. 

You’re allowed to have opinions. So are other people. And guess what, you don’t have to look at them. Shocker. 

If you’re going to post something and it would make you uncomfortable if people gave it context that you specifically don’t like, say it. State it clearly, and let people know that if they do it anyway, they’ll get blocked.

Think of it this way: if you throw a party and someone shows up and starts doing things and telling jokes etc that make you uncomfortable, what do you do? You don’t invite them to the next party. And if they weren’t invited to begin with, then you take extra precaution to make sure they don’t come again.

Remember, it’s your blog. It’s your party. You’re the host, and yeah you want to make sure your guests are happy, but you can still set boundaries. How much tolerance you have is up to you.

(see also: blacklist. I’ve surprisingly never used it. But it can very easily control what kinds of content you see or don’t see.)

5. Be patient.

If someone is doing something harmful, it’s possible they just don’t know better. People are limited by their life experiences and might not know to think differently because they never knew they could.

People change. What were you like a year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? I highly doubt that you’re proud of everything you’ve said and done in the past. There were jokes I’ve said and things I’ve liked that I would never dream of saying now.

This is why I think it’s so, so important to not immediately condemn someone. People don’t often make complete 180s, so don’t expect them to. People don’t like being told they’re wrong, and might need take some time to sort out their thoughts/unlearn their behavior before substantial change happens. Does this excuse their behavior? No, of course not. Even without ill-intent, people can absolutely still do damage.

6. Know when to speak.

This can go a lot of ways. Certain fights aren’t yours to fight. Don’t talk over anyone else. Admit when you don’t know enough about something to give a proper opinion. Recognize when something isn’t worth the time or energy.

Also: learn to recognize traps. People will try to send “gotchas” disguised as innocent questions. These are usually done with the intent of twisting your words and making you sound problematic no matter your response. Even if you’re not sure, just don’t respond. Avoid confrontation and discourse whenever you can. Resist being petty if you know that it’d just start more drama.


That’s it. I hope y’all can go out and try to be decent people. Have fun. Your internet experience is up to you. You don’t need to make it someone else’s responsibility.

Pregnant

Request: I have seen this one before, kind of, but I want a different one (Jasper can sense the baby’s emotions) but for this one, Jasper doesn’t realize that his human mate is pregnant (the pregnancy is slightly better then Bella’s therefore, less noticeable at first) by feeling the small baby’s emotions inside.

Warnings: Pregnancy, slight angst, mostly fluff, death ment. 

Pairing: Jasper x pregnant!reader 

Keep reading

iceemoon  asked:

Is enrichment still effective if it's not being used properly? I got my cat one of those treat puzzles and you have to knock it over a certain way to make treats fall out, but he sort of just... sticks his tongue in the treat hole trying to fish them out. His method doesn't really work as well as if he were using it the correct way, so is it still mentally stimulating for him or should I try to find him a different toy?

Enrichment is still enrichment - it’s still doing something, even if not what you intended. Even an item that isn’t really interacted with but is new is enriching. 

If your cat is fine with how he’s using that puzzle, let him keep using it (but make sure to rotate it out so he doesn’t get bored of it). If it’s appearing to frustrate him, that’s a good sign that you might want to find something else. 

boyfriend!Hoseok

find jungkook (here), v (here), yoongi (here) & jimin (here

  • hoseok, with as wild and open as he can be, is someone that romantically needs familiarity,,,,,,,like he’s the classic case of “oh no im in love with my best friend”
  • except he’s really good at hiding it from other members and people because yeah he initiates skinship with you, throws his hand around your shoulder when you’re showing him something on your phone, ruffles your hair, tells you you look cute when you wear something new or cut your hair, but hoseok is like this with literally everyone so you never know whose special to him ,,,,,,in that way
  • but hoseok plans his confession,,,,he doesn’t fall into his feelings headfirst like jimin or get straight to the point like yoongi,,,,,,he takes the time to learn what you like and who you are as a friend and then,,,,,when he feels like it’s right 
  • he asks you out and it feels like a shock,,,,because you?? hoseok chose ,,,,,,,you??
  • and it’s not secret that everyone always makes up assumptions about hoseok’s love life because with a personality so bright and so,,,,,hot,,,,,there’s got to be a long list of people willing to do hoseok’s every bidding
  • but here he is, standing in front of you with flowers on a saturday night and he wants you,,,,,,,to go on a date with him
  • and it’s a date that seems almost perfectly catered to you. hoseok remembers that movie you wanted to see,,,,,,he remembers that you like popcorn a certain way even if he doesn’t like it like that,,,,,,he knows that you always pick seats towards the middle of the row,,,,,,he gives you his jacket because the theater is cold
  • and after he knows what restaurant you’ve been dying to try,,,,,he picked a theater close to it,,,,,,he points out that he likes how you look in the lighting and that afterwords you guys should take a photo together to remember this day
  • when the waiter takes your order hoseok asks if the dish you’re getting has anything that you might get sick from and it’s so considerate?????
  • but that’s hoseok and ,,,,,,,he knows,,,,,,you,,,,,,he knows your quirks and habits and what you like and don’t like,,,,,,,,,,
  • and when he’s walking you home,,,,,,hoseok asks  you to close your eyes for a moment. he wants to give you a gift
  • and so  you do and you feel something drop into your hands and quietly you ask if you can open your eyes but he says,,,no there’s one more thing,,,,,,,
  • and that’s when you feel his hand on your cheek, gentle and delicate,,,,,,his warm breath and how he smells really good up close,,,,,,
  • “can i?” he asks for permission, just like a gentlemen and when you nod he kisses you with such softness???? such,,,,,,restraint because you can feel a chill go down your spine and his almost at the same time
  • and hoseok wouldn’t want to be rude and take it to far on the first date but if you grab him, open your eyes and ask him to kiss you again well,,,,,,
  • then hoseok takes a hold of your waist, lets you tangle your fingers in his hair and he kisses you the way he’s been dreaming of kissing you for soooooo long and you can see his restraint is broken,,,,and your lips are both going to be swollen,,,,,but it doesn’t matter because
  • now hoseok knows another thing about you: you,,,,get weak in the knees for his lips hehe
  • and hoseok is such a charmer,,,,,you get home and you’re still giddy over everything and you get a text that just reads “my angel, goodnight~” 
  • and just that makes you fall over onto your bed with hearts in your eyes because,,,,,,,,,,oh god you’ve liked hoseok for so long and finally,,,,finally he’s shown you that you’re,,,,the one he likes too
  • but hoseok has a bad habit of being selfless and you learn this over the course of your dates where sure you two will do things you like,,,,,,,but you never hear hoseok as much as mention what he wants to do
  • so that’s why you always ask hoseok that instead of doing something for yourself or whatever how about you two do something new???
  • and hoseok loves this,,,,,because hoseok likes going out and being active and you guys throw away the notion that you have to stick to what you know to have fun
  • like sure why not go to the new amusement park, get scared on the rides together and scream your lungs out while holding hands????? a new rollerskating rink is open,,,,,can either of you roller skate????? what does it matter! you have each other!!! a cafe just got opened and they have raccoons??? ok hoseok might be a little frightened but he wants to go and wow now you guys get to tell everyone in bts you petted a raccoon named sylvester like,,,,,,,life is for living so why not do it together with the person you trust the most
  • and hoseok every now and then will pull out the romantic,,,,picnic by han river, cuddling under the stars thing that you like but you always make sure to set up a nice date at the practice studio where you and hoseok put on random music and dance around while no one else is there
  • namjoon once walked in on you guys dancing and hoseok was doing a handstand while you were holding his ankles and namjoon was like,,,,,,,,,ok,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im out
  • and you and hoseok were like,,,,,,we might have scarred him,,,,,oh well
  • but what hoseok is really the best at,,,,i mean he’s the best at everything, but what he does that no one else has ever done for you is he supports you with his entire heart.
  • he never has doubts about your dreams and he never makes you feel like something is impossible. he trusts your decisions and gives his wholehearted love to you,,,,,,,
  • if you have a dream, hoseok shares that dream with you. that never changes about him
  • even if everyone else tells you you’re pushing it, even if they’re your family or close friends, hoseok will tell you with all his honesty that he thinks you can achieve anything
  • he’s always smiling, arms open to hold you, in your times of needs and that kind of emotional support is something that isn’t common. not the the level of hoseok
  • and sure he worries about your safety and well-being but he knows your potential and he does everything for you to know it too,,,,,,like how can somebody embody the word positive - idk but hoseok does 
  • and being around him never makes you feel weaker or discouraged because hoseok respects you,,,,,,,,and wants you to succeed 
  • he puts you before himself and it’s so lovely to have someone whose first thought when you tell them you want to try something is “do it! ill be behind you, supporting you the whole way!”
  • the sad part is,,,,,,hoseok fails to support himself the way he supports others but that’s ok because now he has you!!!! 
  • people see him for his smile, his athleticism, his never ending cheer but hoseok is honestly hard on himself. and you catch it in how he refers to himself as “ugly” or “unwanted”,,,sure he might say it jokingly but you know better
  • and when you’re alone, you can see the darkness the festers inside of him sometimes and that’s when you tell him how much he means to you. how you’re not joking when you tell him he’s the sun,,,,,he’s everything warm,,,,,,he’s kind and handsome and so so so so talented and that his family, his friends, and you are so proud that he’s here. all that he’s achieved and more
  • and hoseok cries sure ,,,,,, but when you give him that comfort and that assurance he just holds  you so tightly because you are everything precious to him and he is everything precious to you
  • and with each other you can really do anything,,,,,,,
  • and WOW that WAS EMOTIONAL,,,,,,but seriously as hoseok’s significant other you have to give him all this love because he deserves it. buckets and buckets of love. but yes on to the cute parts of boyfriend!hoseok
  • he loves giving you compliments and cheesy-gooey-lovely nicknames,,,,,,,,,,he loves it so much every damn week your name in his phone changes to something cute and sugary followed by every heart emoji avilable
  • and jungkook was like “hoseok, i want to call you s/o what’s their name in your phone?” and when hoseok said it out loud jungkook was like u know what nvm im not calling some named honey bunny all that is my heart -______-
  • you once played a trick and hoseok was like whats my name in your phone!!!! and you were like oh it’s just hoseok and he got all pouty and sulked and asked hoW could you do that to him
  • but you were like baby im joking it’s ‘prince of my heart, i love you 2 the moon and back’
  • hoseok had literally lighted up like a christmas tree and pulled you into his lap to give you eskimo kisses and tickle your sides for tricking him but he was smiling the whole time,,,,,,,,
  • he really likes it when you tell him about your day and you get to something frustrating and you get all cutely animated and he’s just grinning and you’re like!!!!!!!! it’s not funny
  • and hoseok is like no no it’s not,,,,,,you’re just so adorable i can’t help myself
  • and you hit him playfully but he catches your hand and kisses it you’re like rolling your eyes,,,,,,but it’s so sweet
  • but seriously hoseok loves when you’re open and truthful with him,,,,,,,communication is everything to him
  • to the point that you two can be sitting in silence, you’re in between his legs with your head on his chest texting on your phone 
  • and he’ll just lean to whisper in your ear that right now, he loves you so much like it’s random and whatever but he just has the need to say it
  • knows you like a specific kind of cologne on him so he carries it with him everywhere,,,,,,even if he’s far away from you he has it with him
  • knows your takeout order by heart
  • you know his by hear too
  • yoongi: this is the epitome of love, knowing that your s/o wants menu number 4 on sundays and menu number 2 on mondays.
  • hoseok and u: can’t tell if yoongi is being sarcastic but thanks yoongi
  • hoseok tells  you about how he really just wants to make his mom proud so sometimes when he’s practicing you take videos and send them to her
  • and hoseok finds out and is like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why!!!!!!!! and you’re like “because your mom said she likes seeing you dance!!!!!”
  • and hoseok is like,,,,,,,,,heart shattering because you’re so cute,,,,,how are you so damn cute
  • takes pics of pretty things he sees on tour and is like “reminds me of you!” 
  • loves to buy things for you,,,,,,like you’ll be like don’t i don’t need anything!!! but he has an impulse to spoil you,,,,,that’s just how he is hehe
  • looks super hot coming back from practice,,,you know wet hair from sweating and low hanging tank top and he knows you’re into it so he’ll send you selfies in the mirror and you’re like !!!!! don’t tease me jung hoseok
  • and he’s just like,,,,,,wish you were here ;)))
  • but intimacy with hoseok is really just again about trust and being there for one and other and hoseok has the capability to be so gentle and loving when you need him to make you feel good because the day has been shitty and whatnot
  • but hoseok can also snap,,,,,and become this sensual,,,pleasure above all person with kisses that burn into your skin and a grip so hard and so needing that it makes your head spin
  • but like anything, he puts you first and sometimes you seriously have to flip him over and be like “ok, my turn - no no no hoseok stay down”
  • likes it when you wear his accessories more than his clothing (because you’re better without the clothing cough i didn’t say that) but he thinks it’s cute when you wear like a bracelet of his or that time you stole the keychain off his bag
  • and it was the keychain of the hiphop monster version of jin and you were like hehe so cute but hoseok was like ,,,,,here take this one instead
  • and traded that jin version for his and you were like you’re right,,,i should carry you my boyfriend around with me instead
  • hoseok,,,,blushing,,,,,,,,,,but also smiling because being called your boyfriend makes him so happy
  • concentrates when watching dance videos and his mouth is always open, tongue peeking out and you’re like dammit hoseok and he’s like huh
  • and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,what no i didn’t say anything and he’s still eyes glued to the screen like uhuh and you’re just like seriously what how is he so hot he’s literally not doing anything and im turned on????
  • hoseok’s magic wooo
  • yoongi is especially fond of you for taking care of hoseok and he won’t admit it but you guys are his favorite couple and when you get all pda and soft if jungkook opens his mouth yoongi shoves some candy into it and he’s like “let hoseok have this - do you understand me?”
  • you lay side by side with him when he’s tired and falling half asleep
  • and he’s at this stage where he’s just mumbling his answer and you’re just ever so quietly like hoseok,,,,,,,,are you made of stars,,,,,how can you be so bright
  • and he mumbles and cuddles his head into your neck
  • and you hold him and you think he didn’t hear you but the next morning hoseok hums to himself about him?? made of stars??? if that’s true,,,,,,you’re made of gold
  • and you overhear him and blush like i,,,,,,,im gonna go take a shower
  • hoseok: ok ill come with you!!!!
  • hoseok scribbles lyric ideas down on random scraps of paper that he can forget about but you collect them and tape them up in your room and when hoseok sees he’s like ???? you keep them
  • and you’re like shrugging and telling him you love reading what he writs
  • and hoseok touches the paper and looks at you and you’re just standing there smiling and hoseok is like “i,,,,,i love you so much you know that right?”
  • you: yes you’ve said like the 53rd time today. not that im complaining i love hearing it!
  • hoseok the type to buy you three bouquets of flowers so big that he can’t see in front of him when he’s walking down the street tbh,,,,,,,,,,
  • also last but not least,,,when hoseok wears glasses and is reading or at the cafe with you it literally takes all your might not to kiss him so hard because he looks SOOO CUTE 
  • boyfriend hoseok ,,,,,,is everything ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
11 moments that marked Sirius and Remus’s relationship (at Hogwarts)

Year 1:


Moment #1

The first time Remus Lupin talked to Sirius Black, he had wanted to slap him. He had been 11 years old, self-conscious, quiet, and had sworn to keep to himself for the entirety of his 7 school years, but he had wanted to slap him very much.

“That’s what Mother says ayway,” Sirius kept repeating in that superior, pedant tone. “She says there has never been one single person in Slytherin that isn’t completely pureblooded.”

Remus thought he saw the greasy-haired boy next to the red-head move uncomfortably on his chair, but said nothing.

“I don’t know what’s Slytherins’ mania with pureblood, personally, though,” Sirius continued. “I myself am sure I will be sorted into Gryffindor,” he smirked triunphantly.

“Whoa!” The boy with the spectacles- James Potter, Remus was almost sure- exclaimed. “Can you imagine that? The first Black to be sorted somewhere other than Slytherin. That’ll give people something to talk about.”

Remus followed the conversation from his place next to the window, biting on his tongue to avoid saying anything that might make these boys hate him before they had even set foot on Hogwarts grounds. He settled for looking out the window, rolling his eyes at every new comment the two boys made.

Sirius turned to James, his eyes sparkling. “I know, right! That’ll show my family.” A pause. “What about you, Lupin? Where do you think you’ll end up?”

Remus turned his head slowly, trying to mask his surprise at being addressed.

“I dunno,” he muttered, shrugging a little bit. He thought of adding something else, seeing the expectant looks of the other 4 people around him. He didn’t want, however, to tell them how incredibly freaked out he was, how he thought the Sorting Hat would probably just laugh (if hats could laugh) and tell him You? You thought you had a place here? How marvelous! How incredibly amusing! and just laugh and laugh and laugh until someone took it off Remus’s head so he could run out of the school and hide under a rock forever and ever.

So he just blinked and turned back to the window. He heard Sirius let out a disappointed breath, and it was a few seconds before he resumed his conversation with James. This time, however, Remus listened without rolling his eyes.

+++

Moment #2:

“Black, Sirius!”

Sirius walked up to the stool where the sorting hat rested, his heart drumming like mad inside his chest, his legs feeling like melting butter. He hid his hands under the sleeves of his robes so no one could see them shaking, and tried to muster every single piece of confidence that could possibly run into his Black blood. He brushed past Remus Lupin in the process, and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He could do this.

+++

Moment #3:

“Sirius?” Remus whispered, pressing his ear against the drapes of the four-posted bed. Immediately he heard the other boy let out a shaky breath. “Sirius, I’m going to open the curtain, okay?” No response.

He pulled the drapes aside, revealing a curled-up lump on a corner of the bed. The lump- Sirius- was shaking with silent sobs. Tentatively, Remus climbed on top of the bed, putting a hand on Sirius’s arm and coaxing him to turn on his side.

Reluctantly, Sirius did, and Remus tried not to wince at the look on his friend’s face; it was tear-stained, the long-ish hair plastered to his forehead, his eyes red. Sirius sniffed. “What do you want?” he asked weakly. Remus assumed that, under any other circumstances, he would have snapped.

“Move over,” he said softly, pulling the tangled sheets from under Sirius, and getting under them when Sirius moved against the wall without objecting. Once they were settled, Sirius slowly moved to curl against Remus’s bony side. Remus didn’t move, but didn’t pull away either.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” Sirius muttered. Remus turned his head slightly to look at him.

“I get them too, you know.” Sirius exhaled slowly, his breath tickling Remus’s neck. “Nightmares. I get them a lot.”

Sirius didn’t say anyting, just reached for Remus’s hand under the blankets and gave it a squeeze. They went to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night (and nights that followed).

Year 3:

Moment #4:

“I mean it, James. We need to confront him about it.”

“Sirius! For the thousandth time, he’ll tell us when he’s ready.”

Sirius scowled. “But what if he’s never ready? You can’t just expect us- he can’t just expect us- to simply sit here while he goes through excruciating pain in that horrible excuse of a shelter! We need to do something!”

James threw his hands up, losing his patience. “And what do you expect us to do, Sirius? Werewolves can’t be near humans. He’d kill us without ever realising it. What do you want us to become, animals?”

Sirius opened his mind to retort, then closed it again, realization hitting him. He smirked.

“Exactly.”

+++

Moment #5:

Remus fidgeted with the hem of the sleeves of his sweater. “Is everything okay…?” he was starting to get nervous. His hands felt cold and he was sure most of the color had drained from his face right now. His heart was thumping painfully in his chest, and he took a deep breath in, playing off his dread with an awkward smile.

Sirius, James and Peter stood in front of him in their room, and looked at him directly in the eye. James seemed to be pondering, trying to read him. Sirius, on the other hand, seemed to be looking for the right words to start.

“Remus,” Sirius breathed out, then cleared his throat. “Remus weknowyou’reawerewolf.”

Remus knew he hadn’t heard wrong. Sirius had spoken in one single breath, words tumbling against each other, in such an unlike-Sirius manner, that Remus, even though he knew he had heard right, couldn’t help but ask,

“What was that?”

Sirius seemed to compose himself after that. “You’re a werewolf, Remus. We know.” Remus’s whole blood drained from his brain, and all he could do was gape at his friends. Peter kept throwing worried glances at James, and James was still looking at Remus as if he were trying to read into his soul.

“I-,” Remus started. “I don’t-”

Sirius raised his hand to stop him. “It’s no use, Remus. We know. We’re sure. But-” he reaised his hand again when Remus started to deny it, and apologize, and say he would be away from their lives forever at the same time. “But we don’t care. James, Peter and I wanted to say that we don’t care that you’re a werewolf, Remus.”

There was such decision in Sirius’s voice, his tone so definite, Remus’s eyes swelled against his will. The anguish that had been building up inside him had been finally released, and he was so relieved he couldn’t help the tears that started to flood his eyes and spill down his cheeks. Embarrassed, he put his face between his hands and rubbed his cheekbones furiously.

Sirius chuckled. “You didn’t think we would be mad, did you? I mean, I was mad that you hadn’t told us so we could help, but you do realize there’s nothing wrong with you, nothing that could make us push you away, right?”

Remus barely registered what he was saying. He sniffed into his palms, trying to stop the convulsing sobs from shaking his body from head to toe. He felt James sit next to him and put his hand on his shoulder. Then he felt Sirius sit on the other side.

“Remus,” James said, speaking for the first time. “You are our best friend. Even if we’d found out you had killed someone, we would have asked you whether you had hidden the body well enough.”

At this, Remus let out a slightly hysteric laugh.

“I think he’s hysteric,” whispered Peter. Remus agreed very much.

“Remus. Rem,” Sirius said, starting to rub Remus’s back. “Everything’s going to be okay. You don’t have to go through that alone anymore.”

At this, curiosity got the best of him and Remus lifted his head to look at his friend. “Wha-” he cleared his throat. “Wh’ you mean?”

Sirius smiled his trademark smile, and Remus hiccuped.

“We have a plan.”

Year 5:

Moment #6:

“Moony! Moonymoonymoony we did it!” Remus looked up from his book to see his friends barging through the portrait hole, earning the glares of a few students. “It worked, Moony!” Sirius repeated, this time in an eager whisper so as not to attract anymore attention than they already had.

“It did?” Remus asked, closing his book and sitting up slowly. His heart, once again, was hammering wildly inside his chest.

James nodded, a huge smile spread across his face. “The three of us. We did it.”

Remus stared, realization slowly hitting him. When it did, he beamed at the three of them. He looked at each of his friends, his eyes taking in the proud smile on James’s face, the gleeful one on Peter’s, and then resting on Sirius, who looked back at him with a proud, satisfied smile, and a mischevious glint in his eyes.

“Show me,” Remus said.

They ran back through the portrait hole outside.

+++

Moment #7:

Remus and Sirius were lying on Sirius’s bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Sirius?” Remus whispered hoarsely. Sirius felt a shiver run down his spine, that he masked by turning on his side to look at his friend. “Promise me you’ll never stop being my friend, Sirius. Nor James or Peter. I don’t want to be alone.”

Remus sometimes got like this, after a particularly bad dream. It broke Sirius’s heart every single time.

“I promise,” he said without hesitation, and he meant it. He wove his fingers through Remus’s, and rested his head on the werewolve’s shoulder. He exhaled slowly. “I promise you James and Peter and I will never leave you.”

Remus nodded his head, and rested his cheek on the top of Sirius’s head. “Thank you.”

+++

Moment #8:

Sirius hadn’t been sure what had gotten into him when he said what he said to Snape. He didn’t even really remember the moment the words had escaped his lips. If it hadn’t been for James… Sirius didn’t even want to think about that. He just steadily made his way to the hospital wing, his legs burning from running all the way from Herbology.

He opened the doors and barged in, ignoring Madame Pomfrey’s objections.

“Remus,” he said, opening the curtains around his friend’s bed, and stopped dead when he saw the state Remus was in. There were long, deep gashes on his chest and legs, and a huge bruise forming on one of his hipbones. He had black shadows under his eyes. There was also a cut running from one temple to the opposite corner of his mouth, across his nosebridge. “Remus, please-“

But Remus wasn’t looking at him. He was staring ahead, his eyes glazed, his jaw clenched. Sirius took a careful step closer, but stopped when Remus’s shoulders tensed.

“Remus you have to let me explain-“

“Save it, Sirius,” Remus said, still not looking at him. “Just fucking save it.”

“I didn’t mean it, Remus. I- I don’t know what happened-“

“Oh, you didn’t?” Remus turned to look at him, his eyes full of rage in a way Sirius had never seen them. He took a step back. “You didn’t mean it, Sirius?”

“Moony, please-“

“Don’t call me that,” Remus snapped, and Sirius felt it like a blow to his stomach. He visibly blanched. “Just,” Remus said, and suddenly he looked very tired. “Just get out, Sirius. I don’t- I don’t really feel like looking at you right now.”

Sirius gulped, trying to catch his breath. His lungs seemed to be refusing to work. Just as he was about to reply, Madame Pomfrey opened the curtains all the way.

“Mr. Black, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” she looked sternly at Sirius. “Mr. Lupin is very delicate at the moment and he needs to rest. Upsetting him will not do.”

Sirius looked at Remus pleadingly, but the werewolf pointedly looked away. Sirius felt another stab at his chest, and hung his head defeated.

“Of course, ma’am.”

And without another word, he left the hospital.

+++

Moment #9:

Sirius’s eyes were tinged with red, had lately always been so. Red-rimmed and red-tinged and puffy most (if not all) of the time. At first, Remus had been secretly, not-so-guiltily pleased. He was slightly scared of this feeling, but way too angry at Sirus to really analyze it. Sirius had tried to apologize a couple of times more, but Remus refused to talk to him. The level of betrayal and indignation he felt was way too big for even himself.

He knew he wasn’t being entirely fair– 90% of him was sure Sirius had not been thinking when he said what he said to Snape. He knew Sirius’s nature; he talked without thinking, exploded way too easily, couldn’t help himself sometimes. He really shouldn’t be holding it against him.

Yet that 10%… that 10% kept nagging at him, telling him not to trust his best friend, to question it. It had been really hard to ignore that 10%, hence Remus avoiding Sirius at all costs.

But it had been two months already, and the voice had subsided, becoming just an annoying, mostly ignorable buzz in the back of his head.

“Sirius,” Remus said rigidly. He’d forgiven Sirius, sure, but he wasn’t about to let Sirius see that yet. “Let’s talk.”

Sirius had looked up from his Transfigurations homework when Remus had first said his name, and Remus had to fight the urge to throw his arms around his friend’s neck and hold him forever and tell him everything would be alright. He looked tired, he had eyes under his bags, and his eyes were eternally red. Remus’s heart clenched painfully in his chest as he realized he was responsible.

“S-“ Sirius cleared his throat. “Sure.”

Year 6:

Moment #10:

“You’re mental.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

Sirius huffed. His head was resting on Remus’s chest, and Remus’s fingers were running through his hair softly. Sirius sighed pleasantly.

“Wanna know a secret, Moony?”

Remus hummed. His eyelids felt heavy, and the steady weight of Sirius’s head was making his brain start to shut down into bottomless, peaceful sleep.

“I got so scared.” Sirius whispered. Remus’s fingers stopped for a second, then kept going. Sirius took a deep breath. “That time. I know you don’t like to talk about it but… I was so scared I’d lost you forever.”

Remus was silent, didn’t know how to reply. He felt his heart pick up in his rib cage and was sure Sirius felt it too.

Sirius’s voice was barely audible when he spoke again. “I thought you would n-“ his voice breaks. Remus’s fingers clenched on Sirius’s scalp. “Never talk to me again.”

Remus took his hand off Sirius’s head and Sirius lifted his head slightly to look at him. The thin ray of moonlight made his hair and eyelashes look silver. There were tears in his eyes.

“I wouldn’t, Sirius,” Remus said softly but firmly. He put his hand against Sirius’s cheek and rubbed it ever-so-softly with his thumb. “I would never.”

Sirius closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, two thin lines of water spilling from his eyes. It was still such a rare sight to see Sirius so vulnerable like this. It made Remus’s insides twist in a painful, nearly agonizing knot.

Sirius bit back a sob, and Remus just couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled Sirius closer to him, and Sirius buried his face in the crook of his neck, letting himself cry. Remus held him, pulled him onto his lap, and cradled him. “I missed you s-so much, Rem-mus. I’m sorr-ry.”

Remus held him, kissed the top of his head repeatedly, whispered soothing words in his ear. “Sirius. It’s okay, Sirius. It’s okay. I’ve forgiven you, you know that. It’s all okay.” And there were tears flooding his eyes as well, and they were both a sobbing mess but yeah, it was all okay.

+++

Moment #11:

“Sirius, what the hell are you doing?”

Sirius turned to face Remus, a mischevious smile tugging at his lips. Then the music started to play.

“Dance with me, Moony.”

Remus froze, his eyes widened in terror. It was one of the funniest things to see Remus like this, Sirius thought. All taken by surprise.

“No way.”

“Yes way.” Sirius started to walk towards him, moving his hips in a way Remus thought should be absolutely illegal. He tugged at Remus’s hand, pulling him to himself.

“Sirius-“ Remus began, throwing his head back.

I want you to want me,” Sirius sang, and Remus’s heart fell a little bit south. He swallowed. “I need you to need me.

And they were dancing. There was something compelling about the way Sirius moved, with his hair falling on his face and his hips swaying and his chest heaving. Remus couldn’t help but move along.

When the song was over, Sirius and Remus were flushed together, Remus’s back against one of the posters of his bed. Sirius leaned in, slightly out of breath, and whispered in Remus’s ear, panting, “I’d love you to love me.”

Remus let out a puff of breath that stirred Sirius’s hair. Sirius pulled back to look at him, and his eyes fell on his lips, and before Remus could do or say or think anything, Sirius was kissing him, kissing him hard and wet and perfect. Remus made a noise in the back of his throat and kissed back, coaxing Sirius’s mouth open with his tongue, tasting cigarettes and toothpaste and Sirius. And he loved him.

((I’m gonna leave it at that because we know that afterwards everything becomes angsty and I am fUCKING TIRED of writing angst. So here, have this little thing I wrote in the course of this week.))

Some rarely-mentioned signs that parents are abusive

I see a lot of lists of things that abusive parents do. But some things I have never seen in a list so far and I would like to add them, because according to the other lists, I’ve never experienced abuse from my parents. But just because it doesn’t appear on a standard list doesn’t mean it’s not abuse, so here is an addendum.

I think most of these points are specific for kids who are disabled, mentally ill or neurodivergent, and that this is the reason why they never appear on other lists. But these kids are especially vulnerable to (emotional) abuse, so I made this.

1. Shaming you for your disabilities, mental illness or neurodivergency. This includes undiagnosed conditions. If a parent sees that their child is having problems, they should try to help or, if they can’t, get external help.

It is not okay for parents to shame you for self-harming.

It is not okay for parents to shame you for having meltdowns.

It is not okay for parents to shame or punish you for things you cannot help, no matter how hard it is for them.

Yes, if parents do honestly have no clue what is happening, they might misinterpret your (re)actions. But no later than when they talk with you about it, they should eventually realize that you’re not doing it on purpose. Parents can and should get help from others and/or professionals if it’s too much for them.

2. Shaming you for mistakes. People make mistakes. Inexperienced people make more mistakes. Young people are by definition inexperienced. Especially those of us who are mentally ill, neurodivergent or intellectually disabled, (but really literally everyone) is bound to make mistakes while growing up.

You might not know that there is a difference between cleaning agents and shower gel. You might not know that lotion isn’t good for a potted plant. You might now know that there is a reason why the cat is in that cage. You might think that something is a good and harmless trick but it actually has really bad consequences.

You might not know these things even if everyone else your age does. It’s not your fault. 

It’s okay for parents to be angry, disappointed or shocked. It’s not okay for parents to let it out on you. It’s their job to teach you and if they didn’t do it correctly, it’s not your fault. 

(For example, I didn’t know that cleaning agents and shower gel are different things until I was 18. As a little child, I was told to stay away from cleaning agents and not to touch them and I was never told otherwise, so I just accepted that until I was taught otherwise by someone else.)

3. Breaking promises. This sounds vague, I know. And I know that sometimes promises can’t be held. Sometimes they are forgotten. Sometimes even parents don’t have the energy to keep up their end of the bargain. It happens.

But if it’s a constant pattern, if you are coerced into doing things you don’t like by promises that will never be held, it’s not okay any more.

4. Threats. It’s one thing to explain to a child or teen the consequences of their actions. It’s okay to explain that you need to study or else you will fail your tests and it’s okay to explain what happens then.

It’s not okay to threaten you with grave consequences for minor failures. It’s not okay to remind you of these consequences every time you do something wrong. It’s not okay to keep threatening you when you are unable to do whatever it is they want you to do.

5. Threatening you with things that should not be threats. It’s not okay to threaten a child or teen with doctor’s appointments, hospitals, psychotherapy or psychiatry. These things are supposed to help. You should not grow up to be afraid of needing a doctor or a therapist.

Seriously, instead of a parent threatening their child with psychiatry, they should just go there and try to get help for the whole family because it’s probably desperately needed.

6. Sudden and unjustified punishments. It’s not okay to suddenly punish you for something that has previously been okay. 

If parents are fed up with their children’s behaviour, they should establish rules and explain and justify punishments, and give their children a chance to actually comply (while also considering their children’s abilities).

(For example, as a teen I never helped with housework. I didn’t have the executive functioning and I never got taught how to do it. But suddenly I was punished for not helping with housework.)

7. Unpredictability. It’s not okay to suddenly change the rules without warning.

It’s not okay if it’s “You should go out more often” one day and “No you are not allowed to go out” the next.

Some parents have trouble offering a constant reliability due to their own illness/disability/neurodivergence. It happens. 

But the moment it makes you as their child afraid of their reactions, afraid that they might have a sudden change of heart, it’s not okay any more.

8. Assuming bad intentions where there are none. As I already said, people make mistakes. People even make stupid mistakes. People misjudge, miscalculate, people lose their temper. This happens to parents as well as to their children and everyone else. 

What is not okay is for parents to see you doing something wrong and immediately assuming you’re doing it to harm them.

(For example, I always stayed up late. My parent had trouble sleeping. When I made too much noise, they assumed it was intentional in order to deny them their sleep.)

9. “I want you to do the thing but I also want you to want to do the thing.” This is a tricky one, but I have heard this from so many people that I’m including it as an extra point. I think it’s actually some sort of double bind, because you can only do it wrong or do it wrong in a different way.

It’s okay for parents to demand their children do things they do not like, for example doing chores, doing homework and similar things. (However, it’s not okay to demand more than you can actually do.)

It’s okay for parents to ask their children to do them a favour, for example sometimes do a little more housework, helping them with other stuff, going to the store and so on.

It’s okay for you to not want to do something. It’s okay to do something even if you don’t want to. Actually, most favours work that way, you rarely ever like them but you do them anyway because you want to do something for someone else. Most chores work that way. Almost nobody likes doing the dishes.

However, it’s not okay to make you feel bad for doing something anyway. If you don’t like doing something, you don’t like it, and nobody has the right to demand you to feel differently about it. 

10. Making you feel bad for opening up to them. If you tell a parent about your experiences, your feelings, your problems and your secrets, they should be accepting and loving.

Punishing you for things they would have never known if you hadn’t told them is wrong. Shaming you for things they would have never known if you hadn’t told them is wrong. It’s a parent’s job to offer their child emotional support. It’s wrong for them to show you that you can’t trust them.

Taken For Granted (pt 7)

The day had finally come. Your three months were up! You woke up feeling more refreshed than ever and while you were going to miss the boys, you were happy to finally get the job done. Even better yet, the boys had a rather light schedule today, so you wouldn’t be too tired either. 

As you got to work, you were met with frowning faces as the got7 boys greeted you. The boys had gotten close to you rather quickly and you only realized now how much you were going to miss them. It’s not like you had many chances to see them again in the future, nor were you in any position to run into them either. For the rest of the day, your mood slowly got sadder as you realized that your time with the boys was coming to a close, but you tried to be as optimistic as you could. Soon, the boys’ schedule for the day had ended and you were all sitting on the car, on the way to get dinner. 

“Are you really leaving us?” asked Jackson. 

“Yah! I didn’t know you were leaving JYP altogether! Why’d we have to find out from someone else?” asked Jaebum. It’s not like you didn’t mean to tell them, you just had genuinely forgot.

“oops” you said as you giggled. “I think it’s time I leave the field and try something new!” you continued.

“Oh right! Namjoon and Jin Hyung were saying you might be into music composition? Don’t forget us when you’re famous!” said BamBam.

“Hey, nothing is set in stone. I don’t even think I’m that good, but I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot and see if I actually can make a living off of it” you said. 

“Hey, from what Jin hyung said, you’re really don’t have much to worry about, ok? Just try your best. If anything, you’ll always have a job here at JYP” said Jinyoung.

“Thank you, oppa” you said warmly. 

“Ok, well I really don’t plan on sulking around tonight and we promised you a great dinner, noona! Lets goo!” said Yugyeom, as the car parked into a rather fancy restaurant. 

You spent the remainder of the night talking and laughing with the boys and eventually, the night had come to an end as well. You drove with the boys back to their dorms and hugged each of them goodnight and goodbye, wishing them well.

“Keep in touch, Y/N, seriously. Don’t make us ask about you from the others!” Jackson said, crossing his arms and huffing.

“Yes yes, I’ll keep in touch. Don’t forget me when you get even more famous, boys!” You said, waving at them.

“YOU don’t forget US when you become a hit producer, ok?” asked Mark. 

You giggled and finally the boys finally made their way in. You sighed, realizing the job was now done. 

You finally got home, later than you were expecting, and wanted to just curl up in bed after showering. You didn’t know when to reach out to Jin, especially since they were still busy promoting as well, and you pondered these thoughts as you let the warm water slowly relax you. 

You didn’t feel tired anymore after showering, and so you decided to make some hot coco and curl up on the couch instead. You turned on the TV and decided you could have a marathon seeing as you had nothing to wake up early for anymore. You should be worried that you were now considered unemployed. But you were always smart with money and you had saved enough to live without working for at least a year. 

As the first episode started playing, you saw your phone vibrate on the coffee table and to your surprise, Jin had texted you. You smiled immediately after seeing his name. You realized that this was now becoming a common occurrence.

You couldn’t stop smiling, even as your conversation ended. You didn’t know what exactly you were excited for tomorrow. To see all the boys again? To learn more about music composition? Or were you most excited to see Jin? 


Meanwhile, Jin couldn’t stop smiling either. He had this smile on his face, and if you paid enough attention, you could even see a light blush on his cheeks as well. He was sitting in the dining table, along with Namjoon and Jimin and the boys were starting to take notice of their hyung’s weird behavior. 

“Hyung, why were you smiling at your phone this entire time?” asked Jimin.

“Oh, uh, nothing” Jin said, forcing himself to stop smiling. But then he thought back to your cute banter with him and he started to smile again.

“Look, there it is again. You have this stupid smile plastered on your face and it’s creeping me out, hyung!” Jimin said, pointing at his face.

“Hyung, he’s got a point” said Namjoon. He had a hunch of who Jin might have been texting, but he tried to push that thought out of his head. Nothing would ever happen between Jin and you, he thought. He just thought Jin always saw you as a cute younger sister. Nothing more, and nothing less. Boy, was he going to be in for a rude awakening. 

“It’s probably Y/N noona!” said Jungkook, emerging from somewhere. 

“How’d you know?” asked Jin, surprised. 

“Yugyeom told me that you two have been flirting back and forth recently? Like apparently our hyung even winked at her?? Eww hyung, she’s my noona” Jungkook said, jokingly.

“Yah, she’s not your real sister. And what I do with her is not your business?” he says back. 

“Wait seriously hyung?? I thought Yugyeom was just joking” said Jungkook, genuinely surprised. 

“NOOOOO” the boys all heard from the living room. “Y/N IS MINE!” Taehyung yelled. 

“Yah, shut up, the neighbors will complain!” said Yoongi. They could hear the frustration in his voice. 

“Wait, hyung, are you seriously dating Y/N??” asked Hobi, also coming out from the living room.

“I’m..I’m not dating her.” Jin said, rather sadly. He had liked you ever since he had first met you and he always seemed to disregard his feelings, always saying it was just a small crush. But over the years, his crush had turned to full-fledged feelings and he couldn’t ignore his feelings anymore. But then it seemed like you were interested in Namjoon, and it discouraged him from confessing. If anything, he teased you about your feelings for Namjoon and though his heart hurt, he couldn’t do much else. Though you always denied your feelings for Namjoon, Jin knew that there must be something there. 

So when you suddenly stopped looking at Namjoon the way you did, he jumped at the opportunity. Maybe he should have figured what went on between you two, but he decided to chase his own happiness for once. And look how well it was going. 

Maybe he was lying to himself, but he swore that you two were just flirting over chat. It wasn’t like the usual banter that you two had. And the way you would look at him when you ran into him over the last few weeks made his heart skip a beat. And when you blushed when he had winked at you, he almost knew for sure that he was going to confess this time around. 

“But you two are flirting?” Jimin said. Jin turned to face Jimin who now had his phone and was reading through his messages with you.

“Give that back!” Jin said, trying to reach for his phone, but before he knew it, Jimin took off from the table and began reading his messages out loud so the al the boys could read. 

Jin tried to chase Jimin and silence him, but it was no good. Soon, the entire conversation was read and Jin’s face was almost beet red. 

“Omg, and she’s flirting back!” Jungkook said. “I didn’t know she felt that way about hyung!” said Jungkook. 

“NOO I thought I had a chance with Y/N!” said Tae, pretending to pout. Yoongi smacked the back of his head. 

“Yah, Jimin, give the phone back to hyung. You don’t get to read his messages out loud. They’re personal” Yoongi said, all serious. Jimin pouted and handed Jin back his phone.

“Thank you, Yoongi!” Jin said, happy that someone was on his side.

“So…when are you going to ask her out?” Yoongi continued. 

“YAH not you too!” Jin exclaimed. Yoongi just laughed to himself. 

“Well, I personally think you guys would make a nice couple” said Hoseok. Jin’s face turned even more red than before. 

“Awh, look at hyung blushing!” Said Jungkook, poking at Jin’s cheeks. 

“As long as you guys don’t interfere, things will be fine!” Jin said, finally standing up and walking to his room. But what Hobi had said rang in his ears. “Me and Y/N finally a couple? Wahhh” Jin said to himself silently. 

Jin finally went to sleep with thoughts of you in his head. And how excited he was to see you tomorrow. 


Namjoon meanwhile just sat there and watched everything unfold and he didn’t like it one bit. He stayed quiet and none of the boys really seemed to notice. When Jin had told him that he wanted him to help him help you with music production, Namjoon thought it would have been the perfect chance to finally get to know you better and make things right. Hopefully it would have led to something more. 

But he should have known that your feelings for him were long gone. But that didn’t mean he had to stop trying?

And if you really did have feelings for him before, who was to say they were completely gone? He just had to reignite them. What you were feeling for Jin was just some puppy love, he thought. 

He knew he shouldn’t come in the way of his hyung’s happiness, but what about himself? He knew that someone was going to get hurt in this process, but he was going to try his best to make sure that things would end up ok.


A/N: I think the plot is going to be moving a lot faster after this part. I can see this series also ending at part 10. Look forward to it! 

Previous parts: Part 1  Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

10

I just really want to make a post about how amazing and caring Zhan Zheng Xi is. He apparently gets into fights often and acts really tough, but when we see him like that he does it because he cares.
I also wonder if he knows by now how Jian Yi feels about him, he at least has to know that Jian Yi is gay. I got the feeling that he might have thought the kiss was Jian Yi trying it out.
I imagine after the kiss he started thinking about what it meant, maybe considering if he felt something for Jian Yi as well. Zhan Zheng Xi’s character was really built around Jian Yi, most (if not all)of his actions involve Jian Yi, it makes it hard to imagine him with anyone else.
He acts pretty intimate with Jian Yi too, like when he hold his hand and pulls him in for hug out of his own free will.
Zhan Zheng Xi accepts Jian Yi for who he is, even of he may not be able to return his feelings (yet).
He never pushes Jian Yi away and keeps trying to understand what he is feeling. Jian Yi is the one trying to hide what he is feeling, Zhan Zheng Xi notices this and constantly tries to get him to share his troubles so he can help him.
I can’t get over how much he cares for his best friend, he really is an awesome character that would definetly go to the ends of the earth to help Jian Yi.
Thinking about later on when Jian Yi goes missing, and since there is still quite some time until it happens, I wonder how their relationship would have evolved until then and how Zheng Xi would be affected. He would probably be devestated, searching day and night, unable to function properly for a long time after.
I feel like I rambled a lot haha…but Zhan Zheng Xi is one of my favorite characters. He deserves so much more credit, he is so reliable and caring, I literally stay up at night thinking about how amazing this kid is!!
Photo/translation credits: @yaoi-blcd
19 days by Old Xian

Nothing else mattered

It’s been quite a while since I wrote my last Supernatural meta. Some days ago I answered an ask where I said that time constraints were among the reasons why I hadn’t written much lately. The other powerful reason was lack of inspiration. The thing is that after watching episode 12x14, I felt that I simply HAD TO write about something in particular, no matter what. I haven’t had time to read any meta for this episode, and that’s a good thing because it means this is my opinion without anybody else’s influence. Without further ado, let’s talk about the part of the episode that inspired me to write again.  

Other more talented meta writers have previously stated that Mary’s arc this season parallels Cas’ arc in season 6. I totally agree. The whole “Mary is working with the BMoL and keeping it from Dean and Sam” is the same thing Cas did when he was secretly working with Crowley. At least, the writers are trying to undo some things from season 6 because in this case Mary decided to confess to her sons what she was doing without being forced. However, if somebody still had doubts that Mary is a Cas parallel, in this episode there was a very explicit shout-out to a memorable scene between Dean and Cas: Mary literally told Dean, “I’m doing this for you.” I know she meant both Winchesters, but she was talking directly to Dean in that scene. Besides, where have we heard those exacts words before?

There was something else that was very relevant almost at the end of the episode. If we’re keeping in mind that Mary is a Cas parallel, how much of what Dean said to Mary applied to Cas around 6 years ago? The thing is that Dean never expressed what he felt at that time, but he did it now. The fact that he’s trying to talk about his feelings is huge character development for Dean.

What did Dean say to Mary?

“The moment I thought something bad had happened to you, nothing else mattered.”

That pretty much explains this from episode 7x01:

It also explains why Dean was so worried and desperate when he thought Cas was dead, to the point where he told Bobby that maybe angels didn’t need to breathe. It explains why when Dean realized Cas was alive, he didn’t focus on being pissed.

Dean didn’t tell Cas there was no way to redeem himself. He didn’t decide to leave him right there; Dean actually wanted to take Cas with them. Why? Dean was hurt deeply by what Cas did, and didn’t like the choices Cas made. The same happened with Mary. Dean didn’t like the choices she made and was really hurt by them. However, when Dean thought that something bad could happen to Mary, nothing else mattered. There was no betrayal important enough to prevent him from running to her rescue.

That’s what happened back in season 7’s premiere. The moment Dean thought that something bad could happen to Cas, nothing else mattered. Nothing Cas had done was beyond redemption. The idea of losing the person he loves hurts Dean a lot more than accepting the choices the person makes. That’s why Dean forgave Cas in season 7, no matter what.

Of course, many of us already knew that Cas meant a lot to Dean even back then. I’m just glad the subtext of season 12 is somehow explaining things that happened so long ago in the show. If season 12 continues like this, I might feel inspired enough to keep writing as often as I used to. 

Why Tony was right about the Sokovia Accords - a political perspective

If people are trying to be historical about the Sokovia Accords, I might as well add my two cents to the discussion (having studied the UN during my degree).

The Avengers are basically meant to be a crisis-response unit, right? The truth is that the UN does not really have one as of now, so there is a good likelihood that the Avengers would be governed by different rules than the rest of UN diplomacy.

Currently military intervention is only permitted under Chapter VII of the UN Charter, and needs to be authorised by the Security Council (UNSC). However, the Charter pertains to UN Member STATES. The Avengers are not a state, so it is possible that they could escape the inefficiency and politics of it all.

Firstly, because they would be governed by a new ‘panel, not the UNSC. The UNSC is notorious for its inability to do things because of a) veto power, and b) the fact that it reflects the post-WW2 balance of power. The UN is massively ashamed of this, and pissed off that they can do nothing to change the situation; they are really worried about things like the Rwandan genocide happening again because of the UN’s inability to act. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that they would try to avoid the UNSC’s inefficiencies when devising the panel.  The Avengers have to respond quickly – it’s not like they’re humanitarian intervention: they go in, deal with stuff, and then leave. Otherwise they’re useless, so the UN must have designed the panel in a way that would allow the Avengers to act when necessary.

Secondly, the support of people such as T’Chaka indicates that the panel is far less politically convoluted than the UNSC. Most of UNSC’s problems arise because the US and Russia/China keep throwing shit at each other, and smaller countries (a lot of them African, like Wakanda) sit at the back and get angry at the big countries. I think that T’Chaka’s support for the Accords is an indication of their quality, and the fact that they are based on expertise, not just politics (like Steve was worried).

Thirdly, the Avengers are essentially a private organisation (largely funded by Tony). As far as I know, the UN does not have the right to just intervene with private actors as it pleases, especially if they operate inside the borders of a sovereign Member State (theoretically they are US-based).  They looove sovereignty (Article 2 of the Charter, anyone?) so I imagine that the Accords would be framed like something similar to a public-private partnership. This would have to leave the Avengers some wiggle room – they are not the Blue Helmets (i.e. effectively part of the UN from the start) so the structure of their responsibility would have to be different. (Especially given the fact that it would be very difficult to actually capture them if they misbehaved.)

I also need to clarify Tony’s comment about amending the Accords if necessary, which has been (unsuccessfully) rebuffed by #teamCap. The Accords could be amended easily, because an awful lot (if not most) of UN legislation is. Each resolution ends with something likes “we decide to remain seized on the matter”, so that the UN can react to its previous decisions if they had been the wrong ones, so don’t tell me that ‘duh, you can’t just ament UN legislation, Tony is stupid blah blah’.

I suppose that Steve is scared that another HYDRA might be hiding behind the Accords (let’s admit it – Ross is a creep, and Steve did have a good point with that), but you are forgetting something else. Tony Stark is a genius, like…a proper, certified genius. The kind of a genius that Einstein was. This means that he wouldn’t let anyone make him sign complete bullshit, even if he was grief-stricken, and even if he had little time to understand what he was signing. The likelihood is that the UN would have known it as well – the Avengers is a bunch of geniuses, spies and ex-government employees, and you can’t bullshit those people. Therefore, the UN wouldn’t have tried to pass a totally bullshit version of the Accords, because they would have known that no one would sign them then.

Therefore, stop complaining about how little time they had to read it, and how politicised the whole process was. Yes, the Sokovia Accords is a political issue, but not necessary one harmful to the Avengers and/or their work.

virgoismyjam  asked:

Have you heard any news about infinity train being accepted yet? I'm so excited for it.

Nope. It could be greenlit or passed on today, tomorrow, next week, or several months from now and I would still have no idea whether it’s about to happen or not. I’m in the dark as much as everyone else is.

The other issue is that, even if it was greenlit, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. You’ll probably end up having to read about it on Deadline or something. However, whether it’s greenlit or dropped, I will absolutely be on top of making sure everyone knows as soon as I’m able to. I mean if it was greenlit, that would mean I had to start staffing up. If I’m staffing up, I would want everyone who is already following me because of Infinity Train who might be interested in working on it to realize there were job openings and send me their stuff.

One thing I do know, however, that the executives are aware of Infinity Train’s popularity online. If you watch Infinity Train, watch it from official sources like CN’s youtube channel or their facebook page. Those are the only sources they have where they can see the statistics of how many people are watching it, liking it, and sharing it. They have no ability to take pirated or re-uploaded versions into account because only the uploader can see their own statistics. Even if they did, they wouldn’t, because they’re a corporation and they only want to target people who will pay for their product through watching an ad where the money goes to them and not to kiss cartoon or something.

I also wanna say again, I really appreciate the amount of love Infinity Train has gotten. When you work on stuff like that, you’re kind of working in a void and you have no idea how people will react when they see it. So when something like this happens it’s very gratifying and I can’t tell you all how much it means to me.

Buck - Names (Drabble Series)

Bucky | Barnes | Buck | Sarge | Jamie | Soldat | Love | James | Epilogue

Character Pairing: Bucky x Female Reader

Summary: She calls Bucky by many different names. Each one portraying a different emotion, motive behind her words changing and telling with every utterance off her lips.

WC: 2063. Guess it’s not really a drabble anymore.

A/N: Language and Angst in this one. I’m honestly not happy with this chapter and I’ve been stuck on it for days, but I figured it was time to power through because I basically have the rest of this stuff written in some form of random drafts. So here it is. Sorry. I’m also going to be closing tags after this chapter, so if you want to be tagged, please send me a message. They’re a little easier to keep track of then the comments section.

If Barnes was a knife she used to stab his psyche, then Buck might as well have been a machete. Buck was the name she used when anger consumed her. It was her mantra when she saw red and couldn’t be calmed; when rage spilled out through pursed lips, clenched fists, and a lack of restraint when it came to colorful language.

“I swear to god Buck, Tony is driving me insane. We need a fucking vacation…”

“What do you mean it’s too late for an epidural? Fuck you Buck, you are NEVER touching me again.”


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