I love Roxas so much it hurts

Oh No

I was just thinking about how Lea is now like a part of the major plot of Kingdom Hearts and how he’s going to train to be a key-blade master. But what really hit me was Axel really cared for Roxas romantic or platonic he really cared. So now that he is Lea and everyone is trying to get Aqua and Terra back but what about Ven? What happens when lea sees Ven? I don’t want to think too hard about it but it really hurts the heart because what if he flips out? What if he thinks Ven is roxas and is so happy his best friend is back and alive but then only let down by the fact that it isn’t Roxas its Ven. Lea got everything taken from him, his friends, his life, hell his literal heart was stolen from him. Sure he’s alive and well now but what about everything he lost? He can’t get it back. I know Lea met Ven but that was when he was very young, Ven might know its lea but Lea might mistake Ven for Roxas and it will only break his heart. I don’t want to see my fire baby get hurt again. I want him happy damnit.

Originally posted by keybaes

I had a bunch of tags on a post about pre-Dream Drop Distance era Kingdom Hearts fandom, and I decided to make a post about it because in retrospect it’s hilarious. Like i feel like people coming into the Kingdom Hearts fandom post-DDD aren’t getting the true experience™, because like. Okay let’s look at the creme de crop of the KH fandom era. Which, I’d say, was 2005-2010. So which games came out in that time? Kh2, BBS, and 358/2 Days. 

Boy hoWDY.

Let’s recap, shall we? Kh2 ends, relatively happily, with Sora Riku and Kairi back home and together. HOWEVER. Kh2 started with Roxas and Namine, and ends with both of them essentially ceasing to exist. Despite them not being true protagonists, the audience naturally formed a relationship with them, and, obviously, latched onto their essentially doomed existence as Nobodies. 

And as an extension to that, basically all the Nobodies in the game get reimagined (without much effort) as ultimately tragic figures. Deaths of humourous characters like Demyx, who literally dies saying ‘I don’t want to disappear’, are particularly painful, because it gets sort of dismissed by the main narrative and protagonist, so obv the audience has to pick up the slack re: grieving. 

and then there’s Axel. and how much he cared for Roxas, despite not being ‘able’ to care. And then he goes and DIES for you. and it’s like???? okay, ow. 

So KH2 ends with numerous, pretty damn sad character deaths, and two characters the audience has grown attached to being consigned to non-existence. And boy howdy did KH2 era fanfic reflect this. The ANGST. The focusing on Roxas and all his ANGST. The focusing on Roxas and Axel’s relationship and all the ANGST. you’d think we were being melodramatic but in retrospect it really was quite fucking sad. 

And then along came Days. 

Man, Days was basically made to rub salt in the wounds for everyone who got hit by a case of the Feels because of the Nobodies in KH2. It was like, ‘oh, you like these characters? here let’s give you prolonged and amiable relations with them, make you sympathize with their motives, all while you remember that they literally all die in the next chronological game’. like. and that’s not even touching on Xion. Xion, ‘my existence is literally killing the person closest to me also i am literally a clone shaded in with some stolen memories my only choice is to kill my best friend or let him kill me and when he kills me he will forget me’. 

Days does not have a happy ending. The ending of Days is the beginning of KH2, and the beginning of KH2 for Roxas is a pile of angst and sad. and the end of KH2 for Roxas is non-existence. 

As if this wasn’t enough angst to fuel a fandom for years, ALONG CAME BIRTH BY SLEEP.

BOY. FUCKING. HOWDY.

EASILY the most tragic game in the KH series. You all know why. There is, once again, no happy ending. Terra is possessed, Ventus loses his heart, Aqua gets trapped in Hell, game fucking over. alsldksjsfldf. and because, again, salt in the Nobody-shaped wounds, the game has you interact with a bunch of pre-Nobodies, who at this point, are canonly dead forever. Meeting Lea is like being stabbed repeatedly with a rusty serrated knife. Because Axel is dead. Axel is dead and everyone who would remember him no longer exists. like, what the shit. the fandom wept, and rightly so.

pre-DDD was such a time of ANGST. i mean, I think someone looking at KH fandom now would say we over-exaggerate the angst and sadness in our series. but that’s because DDD retconned so much of it. all the Nobodies are alive again, including Axel, which makes playing BBS and seeing Lea not hurt as much. And it’s pretty much confirmed that Ventus and Roxas, as well as Aqua and probably Terra will be saved, whereas previously their fates were super uncertain. Pre-DDD we had nothing but our own tears to cling to and that, to me, will always be the essence of the KH fandom experience. 

I swing between loving DDD for finally giving us a game with a goddamn happy/hopeful ending and not drowning us in angst, and hating DDD for invalidating so much of the glorious glorious angst of the previous games. god we lived off angst back then. so much death cab for cutie. those were the goddamn days.

anonymous asked:

Hmm, well since you were already asked about him how about Roxas?

Oh darling yes let’s sit down and talk about Roxas.

My bae in Kingdom hearts

My reason for even giving KH a chance to be the awesome shit that it is~

put a character in my ask

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

I love Roxy so much you have no idea. He’s suffered so much and it hurts my heart whenever I think of what DiZ did to him like fuck you asshole I’m glad you’re dead I hope you never come back. I don’t care if he’s sorry…I’m just sorry Roxas didn’t send y0 ass to the shadow realms that’s the place where he and Aqua are I like calling it that lmao

ship with: Oh oh oh I ship him with Sora!!! SoRoku all the way! I also ship him with Naminé because awwww that ship is sooo adorable -sniffs- and I ship him with Riku too! I’m not sure when that started but one day I thought to myself “Dang Riku and Roxas sure had a weirdly yaoi moment oh NO I NEED FANFIC” and that ship was born lol. I don’t ship him with Axel tho’–idk that ship rubs me wrong maybe because, to me at least, I didn’t see Roxas return those feelings Axel obviously had for him? Meh idk I brotp it tho’ so there’s that.

general opinions: Roxas deserves better. He deserves the world after everything he’s been through. Out of all the KH characters I swear Roxas is the one that suffered the most–got the short end of the stick. And I’m not talking about returning to Sora I swear him doing that saved him from more misery and disappointment. I…I don’t know…his entire existence had been a lie–fabricated by the Organization and he was manipulated again and again by nearly everyone he made contact with. Whether it was from OrgXIII to Riku and DiZ to his virtual Twilight Town–everything he’s ever known was a lie. The only thing that was good, for a moment, was Xion and Axel and their little ice cream breaks up on the tower–but even that ended tragically and when Axel tried to save him it just…it just pushed Roxas away. I swear the only thing that wasn’t a lie to him–that he felt was right–was Sora and trying to find him. He wanted answers hence why he left and it’s for that reason he found Sora and it became okay again. Ugh and my heart hurts because KH3D had Sora telling him what no one had ever told him before.

And I can never ever forgive DiZ or anyone that hurt this precious bae–hurt him so much that Sora could feel the pain and had to make it right again.

Because you know Sora is the only right thing in Roxas’ lonely world.

Oh gods Imma cry now wtf

This sh*t isn't ok

Out of all the popular mlm ships on the internet, I’m still baffled at the enormous popularity of akuroku (Axel/Roxas). Even though Axel is clearly an adult (over 25yrs) and Roxas a minor (15~ yrs.), why are people so adamant about pairing these two? especially when it’s so frequently in a sexual way? This is not okay!

Do these two love and support each other? Absolutely! Are they important and close figures in each other’s lives? Of course! That still doesn’t make shipping them okay. Not in any context, not even aging Roxas up.

Even if you’re a csa victim who uses this ship to cope, sharing and being public about sharing akuroku hurts csa victims who DONT.

As someone who has been in the KH fandom since I was young, seeing so much porn and pda between these two characters at the age of 8 really screwed up perceptions of relationships as a whole.

Please don’t let this continue to be ok. It’s not. Akuroku is not ok. Neither is Axel or any other adult paired with the minors in Kingdom Hearts.

I’m not keeping this out of the tags bc it needs to be addressed and supporters called out.

I was only 9 years old
I loved Axel so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
I pray to Axel every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
“Axel is love” I say; “Axel is life”
Xemnas hears me and calls me a faggot
I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Axel
I called him a cunt
He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
I’m crying now, and my face hurts
I lay in bed and it’s really cold
Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
It’s Axel
I am so happy
He whispers into my ear “This is my castle.”
He grabs me with his powerful Nobody hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
I’m ready
I spread my ass-cheeks for Axel
He penetrates my butt-hole
It hurts so much but I do it for Axel
I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force
I want to please Axel
He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
Xemnas walks in
Axel looks him straight in the eyes and says “Got it memorized?”
Axel leaves through my window
Axel is love. Axel is life.

Drabble: Regret

Drabble:  Regret

For Nijuukoo’s very heartbreaking picture for word prompt day 10: Regret.

Wordcount: 412

————————————————————

Axel looked down at his phone, green eyes staring down at the notification of the missed calls… the unread messages. They had been so easy to ignore while angry. It had been so easy to turn the stupid thing off and pretend that it wasn’t there. That he hadn’t tried to get a hold of him to…

But right then, at almost two in the morning, it was different. Axel could clearly see that Roxas had tried. That he wanted to apologize… It wasn’t even anything big. It had just been something that shouldn’t even have lead to the huge argument that happened.

At two in the morning things became very clear, despite how dark it was outside.

It would have been one thing if Axel had just ignored the messages and the calls. That would have been fine. He would have been able to call Roxas back and they could have talked it out. Made things better.

But as he sat there on the edge of his bed, reading through the text messages the guilt was building up inside him.

‘What have I done?’

He glanced over his shoulder, towards the other person occupying his bed. A sweet and kind girl… who shouldn’t have been there.

Someone else was meant for that spot, for that side of the bed, but it wasn’t meant for her. Not in that state.

Axel lowered his phone, he couldn’t bear to look at it…

How could he fix it? The situation he’d caused because of his own anger and jealousy? The regret he felt was overwhelming as he realized what his decision would probably lead to…

He hadn’t just messed up, it wasn’t just some minor thing. Sleeping with his best friend… cheating on his lover… He had taken advantage of the fact that she wouldn’t deny him. He had taken advantage of the knowledge that she liked him.

He had ruined everything…

“Oh for the love of- It’s just Hayner, Axel! We hang out all the time, what’s your problem?”

There shouldn’t have been a problem. Axel knew they were just friends, they had been friends since they were kids. So why had he  flipped? It wasn’t as if Roxas even spent that much time with Hayner, Pence and Olette…

So why?

Axel glanced towards Xion again, someone he never wanted to hurt. He never wanted to make her cry. But maybe… he wanted…

’…I wanted an excuse…’

And now he had ruined everything.

——————-

The end?