I love Dennis

The Denny’s rule book: A simple guide

Denny’s is your local, friendly diner open 24 hours a day every day of the year. A place to relax and enjoy a breakfast at any hour, a fulfilling lunch or delicious dinner. All are welcome at Denny’s, and it’s your safest location, provided you follow this very simple guide for the nightly hours.

  1. Never close your eyes in a Denny’s parking lot. 
  2. Walk calmly to the door; you will hear sounds. Do not look behind you.
  3. Always make sure the door closes behind you, unless it was already open when you arrived, in which case do not touch the door.
  4. Never sit at the table farthest from the front door. Your server will sometimes try to seat you there. Politely refuse and ask for another table.
  5. If you see a table with two salt-shakers, walk past it; that table is taken. Sit at the table directly across from it instead. 
  6. Eat your pancakes. Box any leftovers; it would be a shame to waste food. It might attract something.
  7. Do not, under any circumstance, look into the eyes of your own reflection in the bathroom.
  8. If your server’s eyes turn black, do not panic; order a coffee with extra cream. Do not ask for a refill. Do not stare.
  9. Think you recognize someone who just walked in? Best to ignore it. It’s probably not what it seems. They will proceed to sit at the table farthest from the door.
  10. If you are walking past a Denny’s and you see yourself sitting in the corner booth through the window, keep walking. Do not eat at Denny’s that night.
  11. Did you tip? You better double check. It’s only polite to leave a tip.
  12. Do not ask questions. They will Notice.

Your local Denny’s is the perfect place for a delicious meal at all hours of the day. Hope you enjoy your next visit to any Denny’s Diner!

2

im eating because im very uncomfortable

10

By the way man, this why we work well together, you know? You see free soup, you make a decision to eat it.